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Meeko

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Blog Entries posted by Meeko

  1. Meeko
    Shesh, wonder If I even know anyone on this site anymore. =) Needless to say it's been a long time G.A.
     
    I've learned recently that my muse only comes out around the hours of anytime past 12 pm. See now this would make a lot of sense seeing as how i haven't really written a thing since I started working full time two years ago and need to be in bed before 12. But this hasn't been working for me. Writing isn't just a hobby, it's a way to express myself, I way to be the person I always wanted to be, a way to vent, say the things I'd normal be to shy to say in person. It's the whole me weather or not you can handle it. And I'm ready to embrace it and make myself known, again...
     
    I thought I'd start with a little something me and my good friend and also author tiffany chin started together. It's not finished not even halfway and I don't know if it ever will be but... here it goes.
     
    ******
     
    Janice Matthews stood in front of the lifelike portrait that had been painted only a handful of years ago. Two of the three faces on that portrait were smiling back at her. One of which was a constant reminder of how much she’s changed, not only on the outside, but on the inside.
     
    The other smiling face belonged to the person she spent her entire life with, that one person who just somehow managed to win her heart, over all the rest. The one person who kept her lying awake at night, crying for hours and hours, until she could cry no more. The person she missed dearly each and every day since the divorce. But what pained her most was how genuinely happy she was, standing next to her husband, leaning into his warm embrace.
     
    Then there was the boy. Who looked to be about ten at the time, standing just in front of his parents, leaning slightly more towards his mother, than his father. There was no smile on his face. His expression was simply emotionless. But he didn’t need an expression on his face, for his mother to understand what was bothering him. She could read him like a book, always had, and always would.
     
    The portrait was proudly hung up above the sofa, facing the door, for everyone who entered the Matthews home, to see. Her husband always wanted to brag about his perfect family to his neighbors, friends, co workers, anyone who would lend him there ear. There family wasn’t perfect though, far from it actually.
     
    Janice just stood motionless, staring at the painting, wondering if things could ever be like they once were. But life wasn’t perfect, not for any of them. She reached out her hand, and gently bushed it against the boy’s expressionless face. She stared at him in the portrait, remembering every scar, mark, bump and scratch that he had gotten at the time the portrait had been painted.
     
    “Honey, I know you’re going to be angry with me, but he’s changed, and I think you owe it to him to give it a chance, not for me, but for yourself. He’s changed, but most of all, he loves you.” She didn’t bother to wipe the tears from her eyes. They were so frequent ever since she made the arrangements.
     
    She knew exactly what her son’s response would be, and that made her pain and anxiety that much worse.
     
    *~*~*
     
    Truly Mike.
  2. Meeko
    Soooo.....
    Isn't it incredible how fast time flies the older you get? I never believed it ever time i heard it, but here i am approaching my 24th birthday and thinking, "Holy Cow already?"
    It also has been just a bit over a year since I've been on GA. I'm happy to see a lot of new faces and the same old faces as well, it's a sort of warm feeling to come back to place you've been a part of for so long and reunite.
    Sooo what's been happening with me?
    Ehhh sadly too much. Still working too many jobs and stressing myself with school, hahaha who doesn't right?
    I lost a friend a week ago, it's like this year is going to end just as bad as it started, sigh. I'm constantly wondering what I'm doing with my life. I've spent soo many years just wasting away and I wonder how many more years will it take for me to finally change and be rid of these bad habits of mine. I feel like the only way i'll ever seceded is to just up and move, like I'm always telling myself I need too. But since whens it ever been easy to move away from everything you've worked soo hard for, everything you've spent years working towards, and then to just up and leave sounds ridiculous right? You're probably thinking, why the heck would you move.
    And that's easily answered, I feel sheltered, safe where i am, I'm afraid to step out of that comfortably I've set up for myself. I know that I just have to do it, just pack my shit and move. Simple as that, but really is it?
  3. Meeko
    To those of you who find my or Krista's blog offensive and demeaning, boo f**king hooo tough f**king shit. instead of going around and giving each and every single one of our entry's the lowest possible rank... How about instead you put on your grown up pants and just stay the f**k away from our blogs? Because you see these are OUR private blogs, where though GA we are allowed to express ourselves pretty much freely. So go cry a f**ken river and bitch and moan all you want. In other words, if you don't like what i have to say, GET THE f**k LOST.
     
    In other more pleasant news, I won 100 bucks from a poem I submitted into a competition last semester my school was holding. Speical thanks to Tiff, & Steve who helped to transform that story from the pathetic piece of crap I wrote into the masterpiece that won me some cash. I'll buy you both drinks =P
     
    I'd probably post the poem here, you know, if people weren't being such dipshits.
     
    Love yours truly.
  4. Meeko
    THE PENIS THAT KILLS




     
    By Krista & Meeko





    What a way to die, to moan, sigh and cry,
    they are happy tears, I've wanted a cock this big for years,

    I like it hard, I like it rough, it makes me tough.


    Fill me up, with your hot stuff.











    My oh my what a way to die, no pain, that's lame,


    cum is my name, deep throating, my game.











    I've been looking for a big dick, finally found it too,


    But I never thought it was possible for a tiny guy like you.

    The only thing that matter's though,
    Is how deep you can go!

    I like it hard, I like it rough, it makes me tough,


    Fill me up with your hot stuff.










    No I don't love you, just what's between your knees,

    what small cocks come later would surely be a tease,


     





    I like it hard, I like it rough, it makes me tough,
    Fill me up, with your hot stuff.








    What a way to die, to moan sigh and cry,

    They are happy tears, I've wanted a cock this big for years.


  5. Meeko
    I've gone though each and every one of my stories I have not touched for years and came to a conclusion. I'm a perfectionist, and i won't ever be happy with anything I write or do period. No matter how much I try it always just comes out the same and I get frustrated and stop writing. I need inspiration, I need tips, tricks, i need... a whole lot of help.
     
    bleh
  6. Meeko
    I saw one of my Ex boyfriends on the news yesterday getting arrested for trespassing at the governors office (They were protesting) . The first thing that came to mind was, "Hey i had sex with a criminal!"
     
    Also
     
    Ask me anything http://formspring.me/meekord
     
    Goodnight!
  7. Meeko
    I've read lots of stories, enjoyed some, didn't care much for others, and really feel in love with a few. But this takes the cake. never EVER have a had a story impact me so much that it's constantly in my head, morning till night, through work, school, and even in my dreams. It's taking over my body, my mind, everything about me. It's to the point where I go to sleep thinking about it, wake up thinking about it. It's driving me completely insane. I've maybe spent the most time on GA over the past weeks then i ever have before just constantly refreshing the page like some crazy obsessed person, hoping that maybe, just maybe I'll get lucky and see a new chapter early.
     
    Damn you Domluka, your slowly destroying me.. but it's SO damn worth it... f**k!
     
    Is WT chapter 18 up YET?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
  8. Meeko
    I apparently lost 6 pounds within the past week, which may or may not be because of the fact that I've been working 12 + hours this entire week for this big event I'm in charge of on Saturday, and school is at the point where I have papers literaily coming out of my ass therefore food has been the last thing on my mind. To all my fans, hate to say it but I have yet to write anymore of Last Goodbye, and sadly I honestly don't know when I'll have the time anymore. I'm losing too much hours from the job I love because of the stupid economy therefore forcing me to look for another job which just means less time for writing. But like always i'll do what I can and keep you all posted.
     
    Mike
  9. Meeko
    So I'm sitting here after a long day of work followed by drinks with the co workers. So I'm listening to this new song that I'm very much enjoying and singing/dancing too. So about an hour into my writing which was just about five minutes ago, I start to smell something burning. So at first i just figured my Aunty was making sweet potatoes again. But then I started to smell that stink ass some of plastic burning and panicked a little. I went inside my grandmas room on my way to the kitchen to see why she was still awake, and just as i stepped into her room I could see orange flames coming from the other side of her window, I practically ran outside of the house only to find my Aunty standing out there with her hibachi (Grill) full of flames, and guess what she was doing with it? Instead of buying a paper shredder like any normal human being would, she decided that she would just burn all her personally documents, at 11:30pm mind you.
     
    Sometimes I wonder about my family...
  10. Meeko
    So apparently I'm a very very not nice person to be around when I'm stressing out. APPARENTLY I'm making everyone around me Cccrrrraaaaazzzzzyyyyyy. Well that's what my mom said anyways, when I smashed my nose against hers, forehead touching and everything, and demanded to know why she didn't buy me my favorite jelly candy like she promised. So of course I sat next to my grandma and pretended that my mom pushed me off of the chair we were both on (Which she really did!) and watched as my grandma yelled at my mom in Korean. To which she made a speechless face at me and my grandma (or maybe that face was because I was smiling at her and then frowning and making sad faces every time my grandma turned to look at me.)
     
    Why am I stressing you may ask? Few days ago I pulled out my books to start studying for my history mid terms which is tomorrow only to find out that all my notes and key terms were gone. So I spent that entire day turning my room into literarily a hellhole, and my car. (Let me add it felt pretty damn good to just empty out everything in my room and throw it onto the floor and then stomp on it repeatedly for it not giving me what I was looking for.) To luck still no key terms, figuring I left it at school or someone took them from my book I started to clean the huge mess I made.
     
    But it doesn't end there. So now I'm writing my outline for my speech which is due tomorrow right after my Mid terms, then I get to go to work and prepare for the annual Christmas event that yet again I got voted to be in charge of, and I have yet to start anything, and I'm pretty much screwed tomorrow.
     
    Sooooo there
  11. Meeko
    So I'm sitting in my room, the music's blasting, the TV's on but on mute. Do you do that too? Have your television on just for the background lighting? Sometimes just for the sound, to keep you company, the sounds of the TV to relax you.
     
    In one hour I'll be another year older. Boy did this year go by quick. I find myself doing this a lot every year just hours before I was officially born. (I was born on exactly midnight of the 24th hence my b-day is on the 25th.) I sit in my room, the music playing my mind working more than it ever has before. I think back and remember all of the important things I accomplished in that year, the things I want to accomplish before my next birthday. I remember all the good times, and all the bad. I look back at photos videos and realize just how much I've changed in just a year. Not only physically but mentally and its mind blowing.
     
    So I'm in this speech class for college and today I had to present my speech. The topic was to be something important to us, something that we know a lot of, something that we're passionate about. I choose the topic Child Abuse. But not just any kind of child abuse, did you even know that there were different types of child abuse? Four to be precise. Just about all of you are probably thinking it over in your head and trying to figure out what that four is. Most of you will only come up with 3 of the 4. The three most common categories are physical, emotional, and sexual. But the least commonly known category of child abuse and the most important to me, is Neglect.
     
    I as a child was neglected, and I'm sure about half of you here at GA have been neglected as well, in one form or another. So I spoke to my fellow classmates about my topic, about why I choose said topic and why it was personal to me. I had just about everything memorized until I started talking about my first hand experience, and about my Dad. To which things got a little emotional and I spoke a lot faster. See if you know me and we talk frequently you'll know that I tend to share a lot of information about myself, and a lot of times I share too much. I share too many personal and private moments freely and it makes me look like I'm lying, or making all these things up. Because who would really speak freely about things like child abuse? But some people myself included have a way to read people. And for the most part we have a good understanding of who we can trust and not trust. Of who can keep a secret and who can't? But of course even we make mistakes, who doesn't? I am easily comfortable with just about anyone, which is why I tend to be very open. Especially here on GA, I've made soo many friends here, so much people that I talk to on a daily basis and wonder how I ever survived without them.
     
    I could go on and blog for hours, as I have a lot to say a lot to blog about. But I'm actually in a writing mood and think I'll finish off 8 and start 9 tonight. Who knows maybe I'll just take a nice midnight stroll instead, it is after all my birthday, and you know what they say. I can cry if I want too. (Yes that makes no sense at all)
     
    Until we meet again
     
    -Mike
     
    Positive thoughts will help to motivate and encourage you do succeed. No matter how tough it seems, no matter how hard things get, just keep telling yourself you can do it. Follow these steps and you will find that you can accomplish just about anything.
  12. Meeko
    So i randomly told my hot co worker who I had a crush on for the past couple years that I think I'm in love with him....
     
    He replied with a "lol".......
  13. Meeko
    Not sure if anyone still cares, which is totally my fault for putting it off for this long. But for those who do, Last Goodbye Chapter 7 has just been finished and will be headed to my editor very soon. Also i just wanted to say sorry to those who were waiting for this chapter for soo long. Real life took over me during the summer like it does every summer and things just got a little out of hand. But I have a lot more time now, even with school approaching fast I'll have a lot more time for LG and some other projects.
     
    I'll keep you all updated.
     
    -Mike
  14. Meeko
    I was at work on Friday, brought my laptop in to write and everything. Halfway though the night it was time for me to get out of my nice cozy little office and walk around the park, make sure everything's still intact, no one got stabbed in the parking lot again, that all our buildings were still locked and unharmed. So I got to the playground, when I noticed a dog, just sitting there. So long story short, it seemed like it was a lost/stray dog, and every time I walked towards it it walked away! (Smart Dog) but it looked hurt, limping and all so I went back in my office, took some of my dinner and used it to get next to the dog. We'll after taking my dinner, I guess he didn't like it because he then proceeded to bite me and then run away...
     
    And then this five year old boy is looking between me and the dog, and he's all "are you okay Mr?" because I'm just standing there making pouty faces at the dog. So then I went home and told my Dad what had happened and he just laughed at me, and told me I deserved it, sometimes I really wonder why I even go over there...
     
    Hurricane Felicia or w/e it's called is headed my way! though I guess it's not really a hurricane anymore and now a tropical depression? Whatever it is can frankly kiss my ass. I'm going jogging and this rain won't stop me! The wind might pick me up and toss me around a little, but the rain won't stop me dammit!
     
    School starts in two weeks, cheeehooooo.
     
    Side Note: I have normal sized ears! *pouts*
  15. Meeko
    Are you the type of person who shows people you care about them by being mean to them? But wait, you're not trying to be mean, but you just end up doing it, but in a joking manner. Yet everyone takes you seriously, and it gets you wondering why you even do it in the first place, because seriously, who wants to be friends with someone who's always teasing you/ being mean to you right?
     
    Well I am this type of person, and I'm trying to change it. It just seems like I'm pushing the people I care about the most away, just because they take me seriously. Then again sometimes I need to learn when to shut my mouth. This has been a problem with me ever since I was born; I just never know when to shut up.
     
    I'm sorry to all those great people I've hurt, I never mean't too, I'd never intentional hurt another person, but sometimes, it happens. And unlike certain people who I could name, but that would be me being mean so I'll refrian from naming names, but I'm not the type of person to tell it how it is. And when I do, I always feel bad one way or another, because sadly I have this heart, that never lets me forget anything.
     
     
    Sooo much has happened this summer, so much things floating around my little head, but still one thing remains the same.
     
    I need to change.
     
    Don't worry about me if I'm not around too much, I have some RL things I need to get in check, before I can countine with anything else.
     
     
     
  16. Meeko
    I was lying on my bed with him, staring at the ceiling thinking how great thinks were going, and how this was going to be the best 4th Of July I've ever had, and then the clock strikes 12:00 making it officially 4th Of July, and everything slowly starts to go black, I can feel my body shaking but I can no longer feel him next to me. I keep blinking my eyes and I start to see green gas floating around me, I feel my body shutting down, I hear him screaming besides me and I try screaming out for him but nothing comes out, I keep trying, and I feel something hurting me, and that's when the thought that N. Korea must have fired a nuclear missile and that it was now killing us slowly. Pain's shooting throughout my entire body, and then everything shuts down, and I'm lying in my bed, dead.
     
    That was more or less my dream last night just as i went to sleep. I'm sure everyone heard about N. Korea supposedly attacking Hawaii on 4th Of July right? we'll it's something that bothered me slightly, I mean I'm 100 percent aware that anything could happen at any second and that I won't be alive forever, but it never stops you from wondering just when that day will finally come and how. Does anyone know exactly how painful it could be to die in your sleep? I don't but I only hope it's nothing like what it is in my dream. I never let things like this bother me, or scare me for that matter, but this dream made me realize how scared I really am, even if I don't admit it, I really am terrified. Which is why I slept with my TV and the lights on, don't ask but having the TV on helps me sleep when I'm scared.
     
    I still have a bruise on my face, but it's slowly fading, *sigh* the things I do for woman.
  17. Meeko
    She told me I couldn't take a shower this morning because I was just going to go out in the sun get all sweaty, come home and shower again... And then proceed to tell me that I'm wasting all of her mom's money, when she's the one sleeping with the a/c on all night long...
     
    Way to make me feel like shit...
     
    So Fine I say I'll go shower at my own house, but no that won't work for you either...
     
    I don't mind spending all my time with you because I know you're only here for a week.
    I don't mind driving you around all over the place because your on vacation, and only here for a week.
    I don't mind sleeping on the floor of MY room because you're scared of the geckos, and your only here for one week.
     
    When when you tell me I can't take a f**ken shower... A SHOWER I will lose it and all of the issues I had with you, but had the decency to bite my tongue and just deal with it because you're only here for a week, will take over and all the rage and stress will get the upper hand and cause me to yell and scream and say "f**k This" really loudly and then storm off to my own house, where I rant to my dad and tell my Dad to shove it when all he says to me is how I look like a hobo cuz my shirt don't match my shorts...
     
    In other words I got a phone call from a job I applied at this past week.
     
    I go in on Wednesday after Summer Fun, for what? Who knows, I'm guessing an interveiw, and I'm hoping they don't mind if I'm not properly dressed, I mean they are making me go straight down there once I get off work from Summer Fun, so no shower, nadda.
     
    Maybe I'll bring a change of clothes. Maybe.
     
    Hmmm what else...
     
    Summer Flings are good. Then again I wouldn't call me drooling over my co worker from last year a fling, but a boy can dream right?
    Lalalalalalalalalalalalala dadadadadadadadadadada mamamamamamamamamamamamama mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
     
    Here's a picture I think you'll all enjoy. (ESP YOU GOAT!)
     

     
     
     
    Night!
  18. Meeko
    So there's this boy that's been hanging around the park this past month. (May) After about the first week of seeing him come in and out of our building to drink water etc, I made it a point to say Hi and etc, just because I make a habit of knowing all of the teens who hang around the park. Believe it or not their good kids, and very helpful. So we always make it a point to get to know them if they start hanging around a lot.
     
    Anyways so he would come in, say Hi to me and we'd talk for a little, mostly me just asking him basic questions, how's your day, etc etc.
     
    So it's not a surprise that Hawaii has this BIG city event during the summers that it's pretty much like a Summer Camp program, for kids 5 - 12 and from the hours of 8 -2pm. Best part is it is mostly funded by the city, there for the parents pay mostly only the costs of the bus, and fieldtrips that we take the kids on which this year ends up being like 50 bucks. So anyways this boy we'll call B (I'm not feeling very creative right now) hears about the program, and literality cheers up, and gets very excited. He asked if he could sign up and of course I told him sure, and to have his mom or dad fill out the form I gave him and bring it back with said money.
     
    So after that night he didn't come around for about a week, and sadly with all the craziness going on I forgot all about him. So when he finally does come around the following week, I asked him if he brought back the form. Well that one question seemed to have single handedly ruined this kids day as he told me about how his mom wouldn't be able to afford it etc.
     
    Now I've seen my share of good kids, but from the little time I spent with this one, I learned a lot about him. He was smart, really smart, bright, and an all around happy and well mannered 10 year old. (He keeps calling me MR I"M NOT THAT OLD SHESH)
     
    There are A lot and I mean a lot of kids in our program who don't really want to be there, but their parents don't want to have to watch them, so they toss them to us even though the kids miserable and not even giving it a try. Then there's this kid who really really wants to be in the program seems like he is in need of a good fun, and is unable due to funds.
     
    It shouldn't have bothered me, it happens some parents struggle and just can't afford things like this for their kids, when their worried about getting food on the table and etc. And I know I can't help everyone and that it's just a part of life and blah blah blah.
     
    Yet I still found myself donating the fifty dollars anonymously out of my just received paycheck, to the kid, to get him in the program.
     
    Sure I'm not rich, I don't have a lot of money or parent's who are loaded. But what I do have is a decent place to live, a car that gets me to where I need to go, great food to eat on a daily basis and family and friends who love me, and from my point of view, that makes me rich. So what's fifty dollars? At least I know it's going to a good cause, besides it just means less money for alcohol and that is ALWAYS a good thing.
     
     
    So with that being said, I'm official changing my degree from Education to Social Working. It's something I've been thinking about for a very long time, and even though everyone keeps telling me I won't last because there's just too much stress involved, I figure it can't hurt to at least try. I'll try and help as many kids as possible, I owe it to them.
     
    In other news...
     
    I finished a short story that I submitted for the Carpe Diem Anthology theme. And guess what, this kid was my inspiration, funny how that works right?
     
    Good Night To You Gay Authors.
     
    From your favorite Raccoon.
  19. Meeko
    Dad's family is in town, and I learned quite a lot about his side of the family. You see he doesn't have much living relatives left just his sister and her two daughters, both of which i saw today for the first time in about 10 years. It was a good get together, filled with lots of old memories and interesting facts about my family history.
     
    Guess what, Apparently I'm 1/6 Cherokee, and the only one stuck with brown eyes, (Darn you mom!)
     
    I always wished I had my dads blue eyes, ever since I was a little kid.
     
    Oh and I'm related to some famous bank robbers, how awesome.
     
    I did some pole dancing while we were walking on the street back to our cars, it was random and i was only caught by one person who ended up doing it too, good times.
     
    So I should be in bed, since it's 5am, but I just got home. I've been saying this in past blogs, and I know I'm just going to be repeating myself, but within the past week I've met like 20 new people, all from clubs and mutual friends and the likes. I'm totally broke again because I've been going out every single day for the past what month now?
     
    My summer contract starts in two days! Ahhhhhhh and the next two days is already planned out to the early morning hours, wonder how much longer I can go like this.
     
    Sleep won't be coming for me this morning. What to do instead, hmmmmm
     
    *Edit* I'm dancing in my chair *Spins in a circle* Weeeeee
  20. Meeko
    I started randomly dancing at work the other day, which can only mean one thing.
     
    LET THE SUMMER FUN BEGIN!
     
     
     
     
    If you somehow ended up in the situation where you had a child, and were single, what would be your top priority, raising your child, and spending all of your free time with him/her, OR dedicating your life to finding your life long partner, and putting that before your child?
     
    Lets just say I know this girl, who was in a situation like this, spent all of her time on online dating sites, everything you could think of looking for that perfect guy to marry, and all the while introducing her six year old daughter to every single guy she's dated and or had sexed with within a month period (Her count was at like 23). Does she even stop to think what this might do to her daughter? Nope because all she cares about is finding that guy...
     
    I mentioned she just got married to a guy she's known for a little over two months right?
     
    It's no wonder why we had a falling out with her, and are no longer on speaking terms. Sad part is I still care about her, and her daughter, we became really close, and even though I forgave her for the cruel things she said to me, did to me, put me though. I can never forget, I will never forget, but I still care, god damn me for having a f**ken heart. Why can't I just be cold hearted like the many others out there?
     
     
    And yet I still feel bad for her kid, no matter how much of a spoiled little brat she is, I can't blame her, afterall it's not her fault that her mother does the things she does.
     
    Why is it that all the good people who would be great parents, want to be parents, pray for it, always end up getting the short straw?
     
    Another day, in the life of Michael.
  21. Meeko
    So I went into work, and my boss Jo was all Ugh I don't feel good, and gonig on about how bloated she felt. So me and my other boss shared a smile and I turned back towards Jo and said, "Is it a boy or girl?" She gained a little weight, and she knows it, so we were having a little fun with her.
     
    So she gives me this Look and goes, "Michael..." like she's ready to smack me.
     
    So I'm all "okay okay, but if it's a boy your naming him Michael right?" and then i ducked because she threw a pen at me!
     
    Goodnight.
  22. Meeko
    My Computer is fixed.
     
    Me and Glenn and doing great.
     
    I'm writing again.
     
    It's almost summer.
     
    I stayed out till 5am.
     
    I got a lot of free shots (Drinks).
     
    I got paid.
     
    I went jogging for an hour.
     
    My brother almost went to jail.
     
    Lifes good.
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