first sorry it took me soo much time to finally get around to read the short story, was a little occupied with work.
anyhow, wow, what can I say, it have a feeling soooo different from any of your multi chapter story.
I love the narrative way, it really feels like Jake's pouring his heart from the start and it makes everything way sweet. and the same goes with the way Corey goes to look up to him to the point of mimicking him.
When Corey tells that he's gay and that brett and him are an item, during that scene I was almost sure that Jake would end up kissing him. like you said, he may not be the angel and the perfect kid, but he do know what's good and right. At the end he did say it wanted to be out of his "work" it shows just how much he grown.
And to calm things,, that's not a cliffhanger ends!!!!! knowing that it's a short story, you're led to believe that he sadly died at the end. (but cj did let the opening to a follow up) I sure hope that Corey will get his final words and moreover will be touched by the fact that Jake was thinking about him at the very end
I know that jkeeling already said it,, but ya, it's such a good start it could set off into a great multi chapter story.