Lupus
-
Posts
480 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Forums
Stories
- Stories
- Story Series
- Story Worlds
- Story Collections
- Story Chapters
- Chapter Comments
- Story Reviews
- Story Comments
- Stories Edited
- Stories Beta'd
Blogs
Store
Help Center
Writing
Gallery
Events
Everything posted by Lupus
-
The Tale of Two Little Reeds - Seventh Scroll
Lupus commented on Page Scrawler's story chapter in The Tale of Two Little Reeds - Seventh Scroll
I really love this story of yours. It’s very deep and beautifully written. I often find myself pausing at a sentence and reflecting on the meanings behind it. The main characters are truly lovable, but the world you’ve built is also fascinating, and it constantly makes the reader want to explore more of it.🙂 -
The Tale of Two Little Reeds - Second Scroll
Lupus commented on Page Scrawler's story chapter in The Tale of Two Little Reeds - Second Scroll
This is a truly charming story. You capture the boys’ confusion about their own feelings and their new surroundings with beautiful, delicate sensitivity.🥰 -
@Seraph28 Quite true. For someone like Renn, this is the worst fate imaginable. And on top of that, he’s now completely at the mercy of Wryyt’s blackmail.😬 @drsawzall Good suggestions. That was intense😄 I can’t deny that something like that would be fair.
-
@chrstphrl Renn is now so desperate that he’s willing to trust Wryyt — someone no one should ever trust. Several villains are currently playing their own twisted games with high stakes, each convinced they’re the one who’s winning, but as has already been said, they can’t all come out on top. In the next chapter we’ll meet Zal again. Perhaps he still has a chance to influence what happens.
-
Renn It was pitch‑black when he woke. His neck throbbed painfully where the man had bitten him. Renn tried to feel the wound, but he couldn't move his hand. Not either of them. Where was he? On some kind of bed, perhaps. Hard to tell, since they had blindfolded him. He felt the loops around his wrists... and around his ankles too. They kept him from moving. He pulled, but the loops held fast. Bound. A prisoner. Rising panic pressed against his chest. Renn forced himself to steady
-
@chrstphrl In this chapter, things really did start moving fast. Danae and Darren keep making progress, but unfortunately they have no time to quietly build their relationship when events sweep them along.💥 There won’t be a scene in the book showing what happened in the Dannkas palace right after Danae left. But I can say that Anibella and Offus came through unharmed. It’s likely that the Gravenhild soldiers lost interest in the Dannkases the moment they realized Danae was no longer in the palace.
-
Melgyera Naldau, Grand Duchy of Malkania "Marl?" Melgyera whispered to the approaching figure. She tried to rise, to reach for her beloved. Then she realized her mistake. Not Marl, not ever again... "Madam, please rest. You have been very ill," said a voice with a distinct Malkanian accent, gently pressing Melgyera back onto the bed. Melgyera forced her eyelids open again and saw a woman in a servant's uniform standing beside her bed. "Where am I?" she asked, each word scraping
-
I’m glad to hear you liked this chapter and Franz.😊 It really did take quite a while before the story finally revealed what makes him special. He spent a long time in more of a side role, but now, at last, in book four he’s beginning to take up more space. So yes, more Franz‑chapters are on the way. The next chapter, however, will have Melgy and Danae as the POV characters.
-
@RainbowPhoenixWI @Seraph28 Thank you for the lovely comments, they really made me happy.🥰 I’ve tried to design this so that each of the boys, after leaving Paidos, has to grow into a new kind of role as a person. They no longer have friends or parents to rely on, and they are forced to mature on their own — often through difficulties. For example, Josel first had to learn how to get along with Zdain, Franz realizes that the world outside Paidos isn’t at all like he imagined in his adventure-filled dreams, Bartos finds his self‑confidence, and when Darren falls in love with Danae, he has to stop performing and clowning around and finally be his true self. In that way, each of them finds their own place in the story.
-
Franz "Your knowledge of Ksing-Goidao is incomplete," Tialing declared. From anyone else it might have sounded like an insult, but Franz merely nodded and gestured for her to go on. At the same time he stole a glance at the girl's legs, revealed in all their tempting elegance by the short skirt she wore. Tialing spoke of the riches of the Land of the Ksingis: forests humming with thick‑trunked trees, fields fed by black soil, and mines filled with glittering gemstones. In the Land of t
-
@Seraph28 @drsawzall @chrstphrl True, Renn has had more luck so far than he deserves. But let's see how he fares in Wryyt’s company.😬 The men’s fury is almost certainly the work of the psychedelic mushrooms cultivated by Tac Temogam, as mentioned in the previous chapter. I like Soek too, he is a good guy 🙂 In the next chapter, we rejoin Franz and his companions on their journey.
-
Renn Dimalos, Andiol Empire It was really starting to irritate him. Damn that Zdain! After waking up, Renn had waited an hour, then another, before realizing the boy had absolutely no intention of returning. Where had he run off to? Had he gone to meet someone? Renn recalled Zdain mentioning something about his parents' connection to Dimalos. At the time, Renn hadn't bothered to pay attention to the boy's babbling. In hindsight, he should have. Now he had no clue where Zdain might be
-
@Seraph28 Elyssa likes to think she’s being very clever with her schemes, but there’s definitely a risk she’ll get tangled up in her own tricks. As for Ade's and Zdain’s reunion… hmm, I won’t spoil anything just yet.😉 @drsawzall Good point. From Elyssa’s side it was an accident, but we don’t know whether Tac got caught on purpose.
-
Elyssa Dimalos, Andiol Empire She woke to the sound of her own scream. A nightmare — nothing but a nightmare, Elyssa realized as she tried to steady her breathing. Those mutilated features, those sharp, piercing yellow eyes. The way Dareis had burned on the witchfire, and yet somehow had not burned at all. It was hard to shake that horrible man from her mind. Every night he came to haunt her. If only they were safe, if only they had managed to throw off the lipless pursuer. Prince Ot
-
@drsawzall Let’s see what Bartos is capable of; he’s still a beginner when it comes to channeling Might.🤞 @chrstphrl Bartos will do everything he can to help Josel. He’s the kind of friend we all need: loyal, reliable, and a genuinely good person through and through. A good observation about Vanna: even though she’s evil, she still wants to be a proud mother to Josel and turn her son into someone great. Unfortunately, Vanna doesn’t seem to understand that Josel doesn’t want the same thing.😬
-
Exactly! Vanna is pure evil. There’s nothing good in that woman.😠 Andreuz must have been either bewitched or blinded by love when he got involved with her.😄 Now that there are so many characters at this point in the story, and they’re scattered across different parts of the world, it sometimes takes regrettably long before a particular person appears again.😐
-
Bartos Vendum, Grand Duchy of Malkania Sweat trickled down his forehead, and terror clenched at his throat. The clatter of footsteps at the alley's mouth receded for a moment, only to draw near again. Bartos pressed himself harder against the wall and shut his eyes. The narrow alcove wouldn't hide him if the pursuers came any closer. And they were coming. "Did you check the alley?" a harsh voice asked, far too close. Bartos clenched his sweaty hands into fists. "Not yet, but..."
-
@Seraph28 You’re perceptive.👍 One of the central themes I’ve envisioned for the book is power—its pursuit, and the consequences of power struggles both for the one who seeks control and for those close to them. People who rise to rule over others are rarely pleasant individuals. Elyssa and Dareis are so blinded by their hunger for power that they don’t even stop to consider the consequences or what the ultimate outcome of their actions might be.
-
Zdain Dimalos, Andiol Empire They had sailed across the Great Ocean to Dundres. Zdain had watched its white harbor and the sun-glittering domed roofs. Dundres was his mother's hometown, and it stirred memories of childhood visits to relatives. He knew his aunt and her family still lived in the city. Could he have slipped away from Renn and sought refuge there? No such opportunity had arisen, and Zdain wasn't even sure he would have wanted to run. After a single night's sleep, they ha
-
Thank you all!😊 @drsawzall At least it seems clear that Tialing is an active agent in this story, not some timid and delicate princess who needs to be coddled or ends up being taken advantage of. @chrstphrl I’m glad to hear you like Franz. Even though he has his flaws, he’s a very genuine and straightforward person who doesn’t pretend to be anything he’s not. His role in the story keeps growing, as you’ve probably already guessed. In the next chapter, we’ll take a look at what’s going on with Zdain.
-
That's well said. She was clearly a wise woman.🥰
-
@RainbowPhoenixWI Glad to hear you like Plink.😊 She’s a fun character, but she isn’t a reflection of myself. Of all the characters, I probably resembled Franz the most when I was younger. I was similarly single‑minded in my views, earnestly patriotic, and dreamed of becoming someone great one day.😳🥴
-
Franz Northern Trade Route, Andiol Empire Dawn broke sharp and chilly, nothing like the warm, drowsy summer mornings back home in Paidos. Many things were different here in the North. At times Franz found it hard to grasp that these treeless northern steppes, the muddy streets of Eastkeep, and good old Paidos truly existed within the same country. Andiol was a vast place, and soon Franz would see yet another piece of it, for it was time to depart once more. The travelers had bid an e
-
A very promising start to the story.🙂 I like that even though the world of the story is quite harsh and maybe even cruel, most of the characters are nice people and kind to Wylan. For example, the way Val arranged the training for Wylan in the previous chapter was cleverly done, because after that the rest of the camp took Wylan in as part of the group. I’m looking forward to the continuation!
-
@RainbowPhoenixWI @chrstphrl @drsawzall Thank you very much for the comments. It’s nice to hear that Ade’s and Plink’s past interests you. There would certainly be enough material about them for a story of their own. I can’t wander too far onto side paths here, though, because I feel like there are already a bit too many characters and backstories in this story as it is🫣 There will definitely be surprises ahead, both for Ade and for a few other characters as well.🤫 In the next chapter we’ll meet Franz and the others. Plink will be there too.😃
