Josh Aterovis

Cole and I stood staring at each other for what felt like forever, neither of us saying a word. The silence grew between us until it became an insurmountable wall. I’d just about given up when Cole brought the wall crashing down with just one sentence, “I think maybe we should start over.” I nodded vigorously, eager to agree to whatever he suggested. “Should we sit back down?” I asked tentatively. He answered by walking back over to the swings and settling into the same one he’d c

@peter rietbergen @drsawzall @Leo622 Thank you all. I really appreciate your kind words. It warms my cold, black heart. 🖤

This is a nice change after the ending of Reap the Whirlwind!

In the end, moving in with Charlie was surprisingly easy — at least on the surface. But of course, there were practicalities and negotiations to work through, even if he liked to pretend everything was as simple as handing me a key. The first point of contention was rent. I’d barely begun to ask what a fair monthly contribution might be before Charlie cut me off with a dramatic wave of his hand. “Absolutely not,” he said, horrified. “You’re not paying me rent. What would I even do with

Uncle Charlie is probably my favorite character I've ever written.

You are not wrong that coming out for me was a very painful and difficult process. I grew up in a very tight-knit, very Christian family. My father was a pastor, one of my brothers is a pastor, one of my brothers-in-law is a pastor. I knew I was different from a very young age. All my crushes were on my male friends, but I was so sheltered and isolated, I never really knew what that even meant. I didn't know being gay was even an option. I remember with perfect clarity being on the school bus in 6th grade, and hearing someone call another boy a 'faggot.' I'd never heard the word before. I turned to the boy sitting next to me and asked him what it meant, and he said "it's when a guy only likes other guys." And I remember thinking, "oh. so that's what I am." But of course, being from an extremely religious family meant I couldn't just accept that, and it was clear from the way the boys on the bus used the term that it wasn't something you wanted to be anyway, so I repressed it as hard as I could. I was self-hating, suicidal and depressed through my entire teen years. I'd fall asleep crying and praying and begging god to either make me straight or just let me die. Obviously, neither of those things happened, and when the Internet became widely available, I was able to discover an entire new world of people who were gay and happy and living openly. I still knew that coming out would essentially mean losing everything I'd ever known, including my family to a large degree. In the end, I didn't get to make the choice. I was outed by my roommate at the time. And everything I'd feared (and more) came true, but it also freed me from that prison of fear and made me a much stronger (and perhaps a much less trusting) person. I love hearing stories like yours. It's such a stark contrast to my own. And of course, stories like yours became more and more the norm as time went on, thankfully, but when I wrote these stories originally, I was very newly out so it was all still fresh in my mind. I actually started Bleeding Hearts when I was still very much closeted. Reap the Whirlwind was written right after I was outed (and my family held a surprise exorcism for me...so sweet), so I think that dark mindset is really reflected in a lot of what Will experiences. Bright Things and Eden Revisited came somewhere after that, and you can start to see a little more hopeful frame of mind. By the time you get to All Lost Things and The Truth of Yesterday, I'd worked through a lot of those demons and the stories are more mystery focused and somewhat less angsty. Although, there's always some angst with Killian. LOL I do fear we're slipping backwards again in the current political climate, but we're here, we're queer, and we're not going anywhere!

Thank you. ❤️

I tried not to overthink things on the drive home. One thing at a time, I told myself again and again, gripping the wheel tight enough to whiten my knuckles. Just get in. Get your clothes. Get out. But the second I turned onto our street, my stomach dropped. Eve’s car was still in the driveway. I pulled over and stared at the house, pulse pounding. What now? I couldn’t risk another confrontation. I didn’t have it in me. Just then, the front door flew open and Seth came barreling o

Thank you! You have no idea how much that means. I really struggled with this story. The original version I wrote 25 years ago was so far out of date I basically rewrote it from scratch with only the barest of bones from the original draft. I got bogged down in this chapter, mostly because — like you — I've never experienced anything quite like this. The question everyone kept asking during Bleeding Hearts kept echoing through my mind: Why would Adam marry Eve? Coming from a very religious background, though, I could have very easily been Adam. In an alternate universe, this probably is me. It's funny, when I first wrote this, I was closer to Killian's age than Adam's. Now I'm much closer (and maaaaybe even a little older) to Adam's age. I understand and relate to him a lot more now. Once I broke through that barrier, the rest of the story just flowed. I can't wait for the last two chapters to come out next week. 😊 I couldn't figure out how to undo that weirdness above, so now you all have to live with it.

In all the time Eve and I had dated, we'd never slept together. To Eve, the idea of saving yourself for your wedding night was just the expected thing to do. For me, it was simply a matter of lack of interest. Our wedding night was...uneventful. I couldn't get an erection. Eve was not amused, but I passed it off as nerves. The next night I knew I had to perform, so I did the only thing I could think of, I closed my eyes and pretended I was with Eric. It worked, but later that night, after E

The rest of the week dragged by so slowly I thought I’d go crazy. I spent most of my days avoiding Amira and my nights avoiding Mom and Kane. Mom hadn’t even noticed. Kane, on the other hand, gave me a look like a kicked puppy every time he caught my eye. Amira was less obvious, but I could tell my reaction had hurt her feelings. I felt terrible, but I just wasn’t prepared to deal with being gay. Why couldn’t she understand that? I was also dodging Cole. Trying to avoid both him and Amira m

I had a breakthrough with Adam's story, and since it is so intertwined with Seth's, I decided to post them at the same time, more or less. The next chapter of Bright Things Come to Confusion will come out tomorrow. In the meantime, I've posted the first chapter of Eden Revisited, Adam's story. From there, the stories will unfold like this. Like this: Bright Things Chapter 1 Eden Revisited Chapter 1 Bright Things Chapter 2 Eden Revisited Chapter 2 Eden Revisited Chapter 3 Eden Revisited Chapter 4 Bright Things Chapter 3 Bright Things Chapter 4 Happy reading! Can't wait to read your reactions and thoughts!

I had a breakthrough with Adam's story, and since it is so intertwined with Seth's, I decided to post them at the same time, more or less. The next chapter of Bright Things Come to Confusion will come out tomorrow. In the meantime, here's the first chapter of Eden Revisited, Adam's story. From there, the stories will unfold like this. Like this: Bright Things Chapter 1 Eden Revisited Chapter 1 Bright Things Chapter 2 Eden Revisited Chapter 2 Eden Revisited Chapter 3 Eden Revisited Chapter 4 Bright Things Chapter 3 Bright Things Chapter 4 Happy reading! Can't wait to read your reactions and thoughts!

“Hey, Hillbilly, how’s it going?” “I wish he wouldn’t call me that,” I seethed quietly while waving as if the nickname didn’t bother me. “They don’t mean anything by it,” Jason said. “I know, but I hate it. It’s demeaning.” “Have you told him that?” “Well, no...” “Then you can’t really complain.” I hated it when Jason was right. Which was always. We were only one month into my freshman year of college, and I already knew I’d won the roommate lottery with J

Adam Connelly married young, determined to be the man everyone expected—husband, father, straight—while quietly denying his true self. After a painful divorce and estrangement from his children, he’s left to confront a life built on repression and regret. When a sharp-witted gay elder named Charlie offers him a place to heal, Adam begins to rediscover who he really is. As their bond deepens and Charlie’s health fades, Adam must decide whether to retreat into grief or step into the life waiting for him. Eden Revisited is a story of chosen family, queer resilience, and the long journey home to oneself.

Well, I, for one, am glad you're here. This one is only four chapters, so it'll be a quick one. The next story I have lined up (unless I finish Adam's backstory) is a short one-off, but Kane is the narrator. I can't say I've ever been a big fan of Eve (Adam's ex-wife and Seth and Kane's mother) either.

Yeah, I feel you... I was in the middle of writing a new fantasy series when I got side-tracked with rewriting the Killian series, plus I technically have a new mystery series that I was working on that's also been sidelined. This is too much fun though. LOL

Two things I can promise... One, while you know how Seth's story ultimately ends if you've read Bleeding Hearts, this story has a happy ending! Really! If you just stopped at the end of this story, Seth is happy! Two, even after this story ends, it isn't the last you'll see of Seth. Sorry about the therapy, though. I owe you a hug?

A bloodcurdling scream ripped through my dreams, snapping me awake in an instant. I sat bolt upright in my bed, heart hammering in my chest. Had it been real or just a nightmare? I heard angry voices coming from elsewhere in the house and my heart rate slowed as I realized it was just my parents fighting again. Nothing new there. I wondered what it was about this time. Just then, I heard a crash and decided this fight seemed worse than usual. I felt my stomach clench up. I slipped fro

Before he ever met Killian Kendall in Bleeding Hearts, Seth Connelly was a smart, guarded teen trying to make sense of a world that rarely made sense to him. In Bright Things Come to Confusion, Seth shares how he came to terms with his identity—from the painful clarity of coming out to the bittersweet sting of a first crush. At its heart is a search for belonging, truth, and the father who vanished from his life. As Seth unearths long-buried secrets, he begins to see family—and himself—more clearly. Honest, sharp-witted, and deeply human, this coming-of-age story shines new light on a beloved character.

For the record, my next posting will be a short story filling in Seth's backstory (and by extension, Adam's). So...technically another story with a tragic ending, but Bright Things Comes to Confusion ends at the start of Bleeding Hearts, so it ends on a hopeful note.

Thank you for this. I know a lot of people are upset and devastated over Aidan's murder, and I understand. Even I put off returning to this book for a long time. Your perspective is appreciated. For the record, Caitlin did survive and she will spend the rest of her life in prison. (And your diagnosis is also correct...narcissist and con artist.)

Thanks, Jeff. I really struggled with how to end it this time around. I knew it would be controversial, but I wrote this book over 20 years ago and knew I had to stay true to the original ending. (I did change a few things...Caitlin was still pregnant in the original ending and had the baby in prison and Will adopted it...which...was just too bonkers for me to keep.) I also understand that constant background buzz all too well. All I can say is I'm glad you've found the strength and you're still here. Me too. And even though he's fictional, so is Will. ❤️

Yes, this one does have a very dark ending. I considered changing it so Aidan survived the shooting, but in the end, I decided to stay true to the original ending. This book was originally not part of the Killian Kendall series, hence their relatively small role, but my publisher at the time really wanted to make it the second book so there were some rewrites to include them...such as it was. The rest of the series (at least the main books) returns to Killian as the POV. I can also promise that this is the last time (so far, at least) that I kill off a main character.