Ianstarlight

“I really love the setting and the way these two young characters are portrayed, along with the shy but growing erotic tension between them. I’d really like to see this story continue — it feels like a beautiful tribute to Comsie. The only note I’d like to add — and this probably comes from the kind of upbringing I had — is that I personally wouldn’t have exposed my younger brother to my friend’s nudity, nor would I have allowed them to shower together. Not because I’m judging, but simply to avoid situations that might be confusing or upsetting for a child. I imagine that in Scandinavia and other Northern European countries, and perhaps even in the U.S., people might be more open about these things, but where I’m from, in Italy, it would generally be considered inappropriate.”

Certainly, and I’m probably repeating myself again (😜)… but it’s clear that the Robbie–Nathan story is coming to an end… mostly from Robbie’s side, in terms of heart and respect, not so much sexually — which, from Nathan’s perspective, still feels more like “friends with benefits.” At this point, it would probably be a shock, but if Nathan were to finally reveal the hidden world behind his character and his relationship with Robbie, maybe he could at least save some kind of connection. Perhaps not as boyfriends, but at least as friends with benefits — instead of becoming total strangers with no mutual respect. I know I’m drawing out some pretty far-fetched scenarios, but the one thing that seems evident is that Nathan loves being desired. And maybe — we don’t know for sure — he was seduced at some point, when they were apart. Nathan did admit there was someone older, maybe 22, who ended up just using him… But one thing’s for sure: Nathan doesn’t want to let go of Robbie, at least not when it comes to sex. He probably could’ve left long ago if that were the case. Maybe if they actually talked — openly, truthfully, about what’s been going on in their lives (other partners, weird games, drugs, what really happened at that motel…) — they could find a new kind of relationship configuration… (Like a duo of Chaturbate performers, maybe? 🥳) In any case, I’m noticing how Robbie has become more and more sharp and witty with everyone, especially with Rory and Nathan. His sense of agency is definitely growing. And a little emotional distance? Doesn’t hurt at all. P.S. Maybe Robbie and Nathan were never really boyfriends — just two actors looking for a script that could save them. And maybe the sequel gets written on OnlyFans, complete with cheeky skits and behind-the-scenes footage of all their lies. But hey… at least it would all be under the glow of a ring light, right?

Nathan doesn’t even pay for the condoms. Either his dad supplies them with his wannabe-actor starter pack, or he leaves them on the couch with Simon’s ten-dollar tip. Honestly, before Robbie gets fucked again, he should ask: ‘So, are these condoms from your dad, from Simon, or part of the “slightly used, half-off” collection?’ Let’s be real—this relationship is done. Nathan plays the part of the Instagram boyfriend, but he’s out there flirting and grinding on anything with a pulse and zero emotional demands. If Robbie still enjoys the sex, fine. But he should at least flip the script: stop being the clueless boyfriend with a bleeding heart and start acting like the guy who’s in it for the perks. Friends with benefits—no strings, no illusions. As for Rory, either something sparks now, or Robbie should hang a sign that says Friendzone: Permanent Access Denied. Still, a little nudge won’t hurt. Maybe something like: ‘Hey Rory, now that I’m practically single again, want to help me find a boyfriend who’s actually good for me?’ Let’s see if he bites. If not, time to move on from him too. No more hanging around for a vain cheater or a sweet boy stuck in identity limbo. Head up, fresh condoms, and a new round of auditions… heart shielded, libido free to roam. The boyfriend position is open—tryouts starting now. 🟥 NO NATHAN admitted: already TESTED, FAILED, DISMISSED.” ..... P.S. Beyond the irony, I still believe it would be incredible to see this whole story through Nathan’s eyes. To truly understand the evolution of his character, his contradictions, and whether Robbie’s illusions about him are just misguided idealizations or actually spot-on perceptions of an ambiguous, perhaps subtly manipulative and unstable person. It would be fascinating to explore the backstage of his choices, his thoughts, his cover-ups. Especially to reconstruct the missing pieces: the mystery of Alex, the theatre trips to Toronto, and the silence surrounding his life away from Robbie. And then there’s that unsettling motel scene—something clearly happened, but what, and why? Maybe @Dodger will reveal it to us… but we’d have to go back. Way back.

I don’t know why, but I keep getting these uneasy, almost ominous feelings about Ginny. There’s something about her presence that doesn’t sit right with me… I sense an unhealthy complicity between her and Nathan — maybe not overt, but something lingers beneath the surface. Ginny’s questionable friendships make me think she’s still a direct link to that dangerous world, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the drugs came through her. A lot of the unspoken truths — especially the one about Alex — still haven’t been addressed. What really happened between Nathan and Alex? Was it just a case of attempted seduction? Or did it involve sex? Was there an exchange — sex for drugs? There’s a whole layer of ambiguity and unresolved tension between Nathan and Robbie, even now that they’re growing close again. I know I might sound paranoid… but out of all the tangled messes in Robbie’s life, the Nathan affair remains the most unsettling to me

I know all too well what it means to move and start over, carrying with you — like invisible backpacks — the feelings and first crushes from previous schools. In my case, the hardest moment was starting high school (in Italy): a new city, emotionally shut-down classmates, boredom, and no real space to express myself. I had desires, intuitions, and feelings that had no outlet… and I’ve always felt that, at that age, school should be more like the Scandinavian model — more sports, more listening, more freedom. Maybe that’s why reading this touched me so deeply: because I can smell the scent of possibility in it — that mix of nervousness and anticipation, full of potential. And I can also unmistakably sense the spirit of Comicality: New Kid in School, Kiss of an Angel, Billy Chase… I truly hope this is just the prologue to many beautiful, engaging, tender — and maybe even a little painful — chapters of a brand new, heartfelt adventure. Just like every great story that helps us grow. Thank you for evoking all this with such honesty and warmth

Are you hinting at something, @Dodger? 👀 You know… I’ve deliberately held off from diving into all your material… because I’m saving it — for the right moment — like the most beautiful surprise. One that I know already exists, at least in part… the intertwining of the stories finally told from Rory’s point of view (I really like this boy… and yet? hmm, I’ll find out soon enough!) and, of course, from the perspective of Mr. Ambiguity himself: Nathan. Who knows!??When the time is right, I’ll dive into it all in one breath.

These short stories are truly delightful — they leave that gentle sense of suspension in the heart, where emotions and memories blend together, making it hard to tell what belongs to the story and what belongs to ourselves… And perhaps by fate, or by a need for wholeness, so much of Comsie’s work remains suspended — unfinished. It would be beautiful if you, who knew him better and loved him longer than I, could continue to give shape — even through your own voices — to the endings he might have had in mind. Not as an intrusion, but as an act of love. Toward him. And toward us — the readers, who have come to love him, even if only after he was no longer with us. Just like here, and now, with this beautiful, tender, and daring closure to Sneak Away – Part 5. Thank you, @Lee Wilson

You are all wonderful people… I’m deeply moved by your messages and your personalities. I embrace you all — you’ve given me, and keep giving me, something truly precious. When I discovered New Kid in School — my first experience on GA — Comicality had already passed away. But I didn’t know that. I only realized it around chapter 50, maybe shortly after… I don’t want to go back and re-read the comment I left in tears, because I remember it too clearly — those big, hot tears. Comsie had already cracked the amber sphere where I had locked away — just to see them, not to feel them — all my first impressions, sensations, desires… all the sweetest, most tender memories of my youth and adolescence. All that hidden, yet burning, longing to share joy and love… the joy I once had in my twenties. Maybe I was a little older than Com at the time. But I made a final decision: to hide myself, to hide my feelings. To play the role of someone who, defeated by love for a girl, no longer dared to reach for that “love that dare not speak its name.” Those roles… those destinies… I felt them glued to my skin, permanently. So I turned my heart into a temple, and I gave friendship instead of love to those I desired — knowing (or believing) they wouldn’t return those feelings. At one point, I even wished… I don’t know… maybe that I hadn’t survived the car accident I had, just after the end of my supposed bisexuality. And from there… I stayed in limbo for years. So many years. Crystallized, exactly like amber. I didn’t erase anything. I smiled at everyone, as if nothing had happened. As if everyone was beautiful and good. Except… I wasn’t playing anymore. Not the game. Not even the idea of joining it. But then… a few months ago, around my birthday… I began reading about Randy and Ryan. And the amber began to crack. Through the cracks came the tears I had sealed inside: the sadness, the humiliation of not having lived those years. The beauty I had refused out of fear. Out of shame. Out of silence. Thank you, Comsie. I cried when I understood you were gone. And I cried again when your stories — your emotional echoes — kept breaking my sphere apart. But… I felt more and more free. Yes, older. But also lighter. More open. Ready to testify — especially to the younger ones — that the courage to live your truth can create the most important miracle of all: ✨ To be yourself. ✨ To discover you’re not alone. ✨ To find people who truly love you and believe in you.

The perfect prelude to a great, heart-wrenching love story… 🌹Snowflake – A Love Story🌹 I simply can’t let go of any of your characters — just like it happened when I first discovered 💫Comsie’s writings. 💫

........A snowflake is coming? The story of Michael and Brian deeply moved me. The emotional build-up is intense, vivid, and authentic. I felt completely swept away by the flow of feelings, the repressed desire, the anger, and the vulnerability of both boys. But the ending… left me with a sense of suspension. Not because it lacked power, but because it felt like a wound left open, a separation that hadn’t yet been truly processed. Was that intentional, MrM? Had you imagined continuing Brian’s story during his college years in San Francisco? Or… could it already be the most beautiful snowflake of all? 🌹 From someone who once sealed his heart in amber, and found it cracking open again thanks to your boys, thank you @MrM for such a beautiful and tender story. It makes you grow fond of these boys and their lives. There’s something truly special in your writing: this honesty about desire, shame, the longing for love, and the fear that everything could be lost in a single moment. IAN

What a beautiful letter… a true love letter to a friend who’s no longer here. It moved me deeply. I only found you a few months ago, and to be honest, I can’t even remember what strange path brought me here… But I ended up right on Comsie (I hope it’s okay if I call him that too, even though I never had the privilege of knowing him personally), and right on New Kid in School. What can I say… I instantly fell in love with it. For all the echoes it awakened in me. And that it keeps awakening, even now. I had no idea he was gone. I found out while reading, around chapter 50. And it hit me hard. I was honestly heartbroken. For many years, after the failure of my last relationship (with a girl—I thought I was bisexual at the time), I had sealed away all my feelings and desires in a sphere of amber. A still place where everything could still be seen, but nothing could move anymore. I had stopped believing in love. I had stopped believing in myself. But Comsie… he cracked that sphere. Then broke it open. And I cried. I cried so much. From pain, from melancholy, from emotional loneliness, from youth that had been lost since that amber sphere was formed. But also from gratitude. Because he made me feel alive again. He reminded me how much life I had frozen out of fear. Fear of loving again, especially of truly loving the one I had always wanted to love. So yes, I just want to say thank you. To Comsie, with all my heart. And to all of you, who welcomed me, who helped me learn more about him, and who made this space possible. With love. – Ian

“Ring ring… ‘Hello…? …Jamison?’ ‘Wow… hey… hiiii, it’s so good to— too— to hear you! Hi Dieeeego!’” (too romantic? ....nooooo - sorry🤭)

“I wonder when Nathan stopped loving Robbie—if he ever truly loved him at all? Of course, their whole story is described through Robbie’s eyes (filtered through his existential self-narration), but certain facts couldn’t have been invented or idealized—something real must have existed between them. Still… it would be beautiful to read this story from Nathan’s point of view as well. Romantic love deceives so deeply, and people end up using each other far more than they’re willing to admit. I’ve already experienced how some give themselves in the name of so-called ‘unconditional love,’ hoping to receive just as much in return. I wish I could have been inside Nathan’s mind and thoughts at the beginning of their story—and later on, when he started pulling away, keeping little and big secrets, and no longer wanting to share his Toronto work experiences. Did he always think Robbie was just a fool—one of the only obviously queer kids who looked at him with dreamy eyes, who spoke in a funny, charming way, and was suddenly the center of attention at school—and who happened to be the cousin of Nathan’s crush and best friend? A perfect prey for his narcissistic ego? I know I’ve said this before, but no story is more terrifying than a love story— especially one between adolescents, disarmed and unaware, whose small hearts have not yet been contaminated and seduced by the cycle of desire. Nathan, alas, is the most beautiful of angels… and you, Robbie, the most doomed of lovers. How could you ever have made it, starting out with such a need to feel loved? My god… if only you had met someone truly right for you. Maybe that shy boy who gave you his number in the school hallway after your coming out… But is it really possible that in all of Cobourg, there isn’t one beautiful soul ready to fall in love with Robbie and love him back— simply, clearly, like this: “You, my extraordinary, normal, beautiful soul — I love you.”

A few posts ago, I was wondering what had happened to Nathan… I was genuinely shocked that he seemed completely unaware of Robbie’s struggles — or worse, that he knew and simply didn’t care. In this chapter, the note he leaves in Robbie’s locker, in memory of his mother’s death anniversary, is truly beautiful. At least it shows that, deep down, he still remembers and feels something for his ex… But everything else? It feels so superficial. Nathan seems mainly interested in finding out if the rumors about Robbie’s attempted suicide are true. And I can’t help but wonder: was it genuine concern, or just guilt creeping in? I pay close attention to these dynamics because, in the beginning, what they had was so tender, so pure, almost sacred. How could it dissolve into such emotional coldness — especially from Nathan — without a real discussion, without a proper closure? Love, sadly, never stops surprising us…And most of the time, those surprises aren’t good. From what we were shown, Robbie and Nathan truly shared something special. But then the unstoppable cycle of desire seemed to take over — especially for the one who was more volatile, more susceptible to its temptations (Nathan, the campy actor). I can’t help but wonder: If the power of desire — and the vanity it breeds — were less overwhelming, if they were filtered through a more self-aware mind, wouldn’t it be possible to preserve that shy, fragile, uncontaminated beauty that once bloomed between them? In the meantime, Jo and Robbie’s work together continues to improve. Session after session, they’re digging deeper, and the progress is increasingly evident. But one thing leaves me quite disturbed: how is it possible that rumors of Robbie’s suicide attempt are circulating among the students? Who leaked that information? I truly hope Robbie addresses this with Jo — and perhaps the school as well — to figure out where this breach came from. If it’s true, then there are only a few possible sources: Someone from Robbie’s family (Nicola? Daniel?). A leak from the principal’s office or a teacher. Or a larger issue with privacy within the school itself. Whatever the case, this should never happen. Thankfully, Robbie seems — at least outwardly — not to care. But we know all too well that another cruel way LGBTQ+ youth are marginalized is by stigmatizing those who seek psychological support. As if asking for help were a failure. As if anyone seeing a counselor is automatically a “loser.” These programs save lives. They deserve to be treated with the utmost respect and confidentiality. Because those who are trying to heal don’t need to be wounded again.

Damn, @Dodger … what a burst of energy with Jo! A blast of positive, direct, vivid energy. I can feel that this girl — so refreshingly outside the usual clichés — could really make a difference. In fact, I’m almost sure of it. Thank you for this wonderful surprise: each day I grow more and more eager for your chapters. I came late to this story, but what a privilege to read it all in one breath. I’m not missing a single beat. That said… I don’t want to sound obsessive, but Nathan? Is it really possible he doesn’t know how badly Robbie is doing? And if he does… can he truly not care? I know — maybe it’s my toxic romanticism talking, but something here doesn’t add up. How can someone just vanish from a relationship that deep, knowing how fragile Robbie’s family, emotional, and mental situation was? Nathan, is your theatre, your “camp,” your new trophy boyfriend really enough for you now? There are two people inside that boy. And I — as a reader — still can’t figure out who the real Nathan is. Sure, Robbie has his flaws too, but when they were together, he was present, loyal, committed. And we all know that if the roles were reversed, Robbie would have done everything for Nathan. He’s done it for everyone — even those who didn’t deserve it. This imbalance — this silence — hurts. I know I idealize. I know I seek closure like it’s oxygen. But we’re not talking about two clever adults here — we’re talking about two young boys in love. And Robbie keeps losing everything: his England, his mother, his friend, his love, his trust. I truly hope this slightly dark angel, with a maternal echo in her look, can finally break the spell that’s holding Robbie captive.

I was truly moved. As I read, without any effort to hold back, I found tears running down my face. They say that those who talk about suicide often don’t go through with it — that it’s a cry for help, a final instinct of self-preservation. Maybe that’s true. Maybe it is. But here — in this scene — Robbie’s pain feels so real, so raw, that it can’t be reduced to a cliché. Your writing, @Dodger, is extraordinary: the pull of the water (his mother), the image of the pier, the wind battering and isolating him. “I didn’t answer her. Instead, I closed my eyes and smiled as the wind buffeted my face making it difficult to breathe. It pounded my eardrums, isolating me…” And you can’t help but wonder: if he had been alone… what might have happened? Seeing Nathan at the mall, happy, showing off his new “trophy” — knowing that life goes on for others, while your own is collapsing in on itself… I understand. I feel it. With all the tenderness — and all the sadness — of someone who knows what it means. Sometimes, no story is more terrifying than the one that leaves you standing alone on the shore, while everyone else walks away without looking back. P.S.