Procyon

Happy birthday Graeme! (It isn't midnight in Hawaii yet...)

Congrats, you deserve it. Looking forward to when you've finally got time to write again. Procyon

Pork is great. Twice cooked pork doubly so.

Finally a nice little thread to reply to, enabling me to avoid cleaning the house for another 15 minutes or so... For number one, there was no completely good answer for me -- I chose 'am not a vegetarian and won't become one', which makes me sound like some kind of meat freak. That is not true, though, because I used to eat and cook very little meat for a long time, for a number of reasons. Like you, Kevin, I wasn't overly fond of meat when I was a kid, I just had the spuds and the gravy if I could and left the meat. But then, I didn't like vegetables either, really, and I began eating that later, and in the same way I've begun to like meat, too, and now I actually *really* like meat. I also have a good friend who's a vegetarian, and she's also my next-door neighbour, so whenever I eat with her the food always has to be vegetarian. She's a great cook, too, so I get a lot of delicious vegetarian food, and for a while I thought that it wouldn't be so hard to actually become a vegetarian and I kind of considered doing it. But it was only a floating thought in my head, really, and then -- my sister became a vegetarian, also pesci-ovo-lacto, and for some reason I found that really annoying and frustrating (partly because she made a big deal out of it and kept complaining when she didn't get good vegetarian food). Of course it never annoys me when any of my friends are vegetarians or become vegetarians. And by now I don't care what my sister does either, but she still complains a lot about the lack of good vegetarian food. Anyway, back then I suddenly got this (probably very freudian) yearning for meat, and kept eating meat whenever I could. And yes, I really do love meat. And if I became a vegetarian I just think I'd hate it when there'd be some good meat dish on offer and I couldn't eat it... Question number 2 I based off the rather few gay people I know in person, none of whom are vegetarians, and the impression I've got so far from this site. And my answer was, the same as straight people. For coming in contact with vegetarians, I said daily, because although there are days when I don't meet my colleagues at work who are vegetarians, or my neighbour, I meet them almost daily. so most of the time I see at least one vegetarian a day. Happy eating everyone! Whatever it is you're eating. Oh yeah, and as for eggs, I don't like them at all in any sort of 'eggy' form. In fact, corvus is the only person who can cook eggs so I like them. I do like pancakes and sponge cakes and such, though. Mmmm...

Amen to that -- those veins are just creepy. Moderately muscled guys are nice though, though it isn't a requirement. As for age, no, I don't really go for older -- than myself, that is. I'm too old to go for *really* older, I mean, they'd be about to retire then, and how fun is that? Not much. Also, when I was 32 I dated a 39-year-old guy, and we really had some trouble related to the age gap, even though it wasn't that big -- we had a lot of other problems too, but the age gap was palpable in that particular case, and interestingly I think he was a lot older mentally back then than I am now. And I meet a lot of 50-year-olds now (and 70 or 80-year-olds for that matter) who seem younger at heart than he was then... So really a lot of it's to do with personal chemistry and one's inner age -- and I don't mean that it's a good thing to be immature and childish when you reach your 30s or more, but that you're not completely stuck in your ways and attitudes to things, and are still open to fun things and not too tied down by social conventions.

Um, the point is that it *is* possible... ...without what you call hormone therapy (which to me would indicate taking hormones as a medication). It is true that the so-called cuddling hormone oxytocin is needed for breastfeeding, but your body produces that every time you cuddle (or similar). Yes, in both men and women. And it is true that it takes a while for one's breasts to produce milk and one needs to let the baby suck for that to happen -- and that is probably the reason most men don't breastfeed, because they don't think of doing that in the first place. Do read the excellent article Lugh referred to a few posts up: http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/miscar...es/milkmen.html And good luck with the breastfeeding! Btw it's great to see so many of you being supportive of breastfeeding in public; I agree, it's a natural thing and there's nothing offensive about it -- and it's the most healthy thing for the baby, so people shouldn't make it difficult for the parents, parenting is hard enough already as it is.

Lol good one... So they're actually that bad? How sad. And I think Anne Rice's sudden conversion may actually have been an intervention by the gods of vampire literature, since she ceased doing her vampire world any good after The Tale of the Body Thief (I think -- there may have been one more that was reasonably good, or maybe one shouldn't even count Tale of the Body Thief, but yeah. Somethign like that.) Let me just say that there was a reason that she didn't allow fanfiction about the Vampire Chronicles. The first three books were great though, and yes, she reinvented the genre.

Yeah, read Catcher, don't listen to corvus -- it's a great book! One has to appreciate loserhood in characters. And btw, what is *up* with this non-appreciation of Hamlet?? The greatest play ever written...! I mean, it's indecisiveness taken one step further, to new, previously unknown heights -- and once Hamlet gets down to business he does it properly you have to admit. He doesn't hesitate to get rid of his old pals when going to England for one thing. Anyway C&P is great too, but... if you don't like indecisiveness and whininess... I don't know if it's the right thing. I mean, to turn myself in or not to turn myself in? Actually I think there are stunning liknesses between Raskolnikov, Hamlet, and Holden: Raskolnikov kills first, agonises later, Hamlet agonises first then kills, and Holden, being, essentially, an American high school brat, only agonises. Great stuff!

That is really cool! Have you been here before? Btw since we were talking about beer before, we've really good beer in Europe too, you should try it. Austria especially (my mother is from there). I hope you have a good time!

Yeah lol will that make it extra hard to bear?? *shivers* And where are you from btw? To keep this on topic: what beers should I try? And wines?

Gawd.... I bet those people who say 'their chances of going to heaven aren't great if they continue their life style' all have guns in their bedroom drawers. The story was more hopeful than the clip, but it's still scary that they're wasting police time on a kissing couple -- don't they have better things to do?? I'm a bit allergic to 'wet' PDAs, when you hear and see too much of people's tongues and such, or when the groping becomes a bit too liberal, but you have to tolerate PDAs from anyone and it's important that gay couples do it so they become more visible. I'm not saying that people should do it if they're feeling uncomfortable about it though, being gay doesn't automatically make you a gay ambassador or anything, or it shouldn't, even though it sometimes happens that you're forced into such a role. I'm a bit shocked at the people who were staring and making remarks... ugh. And what is up with kids seeing it -- all they have to say to explain is that it's two people who are in love...

Yeah that's what I've heard, middle of summer -- it seems to me like it'd be awfully hot though! But I am so looking forward to it. I'm going to Melbourne because I'm travelling with a friend who's teaching at a crystallography course there. Our respective kids are coming too (I have a son and she a daughter.) We want to see some other places as well, of course -- we're staying for three weeks or so and the course is about a week long.

I just waxed my armpits, go me!! Welcome! Sorry to hear that you hate being furry, but nice that you made your first post.

Isn't that supposed to be the nice thing about pipes? That it's a whole hobby of its own. Anyway, cool with eight pipes!! What kind of alcohol goes with smoking a pipe, whisky? Or something else? (Thinking of Captain Haddock here...)

I voted 'discuss the issue', as I've never really considered the idea of a romantic proposal a possibility. Even though the idea of marriage isn't alien to me, a romantic proposal is something you see in American films (just like the words 'I love you' as corvus mentioned). I think a discussion like that could be romantic enough, or even a lot more romantic, than a 'staged' proposal by one party.

lol, I agree that pipe smoke can be pleasant. I also have some very good friends whom I respect who smoke -- but... while they're smoking they're still making the air around them carcinogenic, no matter how much I like and respect them. And smoking isn't only a social problem, it's a medical one, you're risking the lives of people around you. Of course smoking is fine if you do it on your own.

Yeah, sad that you have to go home early -- but good luck with the interview! How much longer will you be on the road?

The main hormone needed for lactation -- which is also given to women who don't have enough milk -- is oxytocin, which is present in any parent of a new-born child (fathers too, usually, though not quite as much as in the mother). It is produced by your body when you're taking care of someone helpless -- and in other circumstances too, I forget exactly when. So there's nothing strange about it. And since it doesn't always work, I gave the option 'I'd try'.

I forgot, I also said 'myself', because I have issues with myself sometimes, of course, and that affects me greatly as well -- and I love and hate myself alternately, though the older I get, the more I accept myself the way I am (unless there's something I want to and can change -- it *is* possible, sometimes.) And I agree with the Writing Tiger and Kevin that a significant other should never take over completely, that is definitely not healthy. I was i a rather intense, isolationish relationship once, and needless to say it didn't end well. Thankfully though, it did end.

A colleague of mine exclaimed, today, that she'd found out that men are also able to breast-feed. She was shocked. While I haven't met any man who has breast-fed his (or any other) child, I have some friends who know men who did that, and I had read about it too in maternity (hmm paternity..?) magazines. Men have the same ability to lactate as women who haven't been pregnant, i.e., it's a bit hard to get going but it's possible. But it can be pretty hard for women who've just given birth, too. We then discussed whether women would really want their men to breast-feed and, as my colleague put it, 'take that domain away from us'. But personally I'd think it was really cool if I had a guy who'd like to try breast-feeding our child, and it'd be such a relief too not to be tied to the baby 24/7. Breast-feeding affects us subconsciously, too, and has a deep symbolical meaning -- I've met people who were breast-fed by the same woman (in this case) and they felt that there was a special connection between them. If you're a man, would you try breast-feeding your child? And if you're a woman, would you choose to do it? How important is breast-feeding? Would breast-feeding give you a special connection if you adopted a child? (I breast-fed my son for quite a long while and... personally I think it does give you a special connection.)

This sounded a bit like you meant 'who has the greatest ability to drive you up the wall?' and not who affects you the most in general. And sure, a lot of one's most intense relationships seem most tangible when there's a problem or conflict. Because when you're just feeling happy about having someone's friendship or love you rarely pause to think about it, except when you're madly in love -- but when it something goes wrong it can make you suffer pretty badly and you'll never fail to notice those emotions. But still, the relationship that affects me the most, no comparison whatsoever, is a rather friction-free one: the one with my son. (He's twelve and I've a feeling I should say knock-on-wood now... so, Knock on wood!) He is the most important person in my life and has been ever since I lay in the maternity-ward bed just after he'd been born and was feeling completely overwhelmed (and angsty as hell and very alone) by the enormous responsibility that lay ahead of me. I hadn't grasped at all up until then what it meant to have a child, though I thought I was well-informed. Haha. Other than that I also said parents, because that is a very intense relationship as well and my mother can still make me feel good about myself just by giving me praise (confirmation) or make me feel like shit if she chooses to do that. My close friends are very important to me and can make me feel both good and bad. I hate falling out with people, and that goes for anyone of course, my mother, sister, and son especially (btw I think you forgot 'other family' as an option...?) But often friends have a great ability to make one feel good, that is the best thing about them.

Very interesting question. It raises (at least) two more questions: 1. Is having gender reassignment a choice? Because an accident, of course, isn't. The person didn't want it to happen, while the person having a sex change hopefully did. And I think that matters in a relationship, who was able to choose what. 2. Is gender reassignment a traumatic event for the person it's done to? Again, an accident which means you can't have sex would be terribly traumatic for the person it happened to, and one's first priority as a partner would naturally be to try to console one's significant other. Changing sex, I imagine, would be more traumatic for the person's boy- or girlfriend, since they didn't choose for it to happen, while the sex-changee did. Of course, having a sex change may not really be a choice; a person would be so desperately unhappy in his or her sexual identity that a sex change is absolutely necessary, so in that sense it's unavoidable. But for those around one it would still feel like a choice, I think, at least it might for me. And even if it isn't a choice it evokes less empathy since it is a positive thing for the person who's doing it, while an accident is definitely a negative thing. So my answer is that I'd try to stay with the person who'd had an accident and be as supportive as I could. With a person having a sex change I'd try to be supportive as well, of course, and I might try to stay with them as well, but it's much less likely that I'd succeed in keeping a feeling of romantic love for them.

Yeah, humour is often underrated in romance, and this was funny. And I'm sure it could apply to male gay relationships as well... I often tend to find songs romantic that aren't commonly regarded as romantic, but yeah, there's a few good ones by Savage Garden, and 'Time to Say Good-Bye' is lovely too. Some songs with romantic lyrics can be too lovely to make me feel romantic, I want some savageness in it, I think -- I have a hard time taking 'serious' romantic songs seriously. Right now I'm listening to 'Always Somewhere' by the Scorpions (ahh thank heavens for my new record player, hehe) that can be very romantic when you're in the right mood. 'Holiday' is also a good song; sadly I don't like the versions that are available on YouTube.

Me too!! Seriously, I didn't know how addicted I was. And of course I'm getting nothing done around the house now... but my mental health is more important.