Procyon

Happy Birthday Greenmann! :ranger:

I'm wondering why his reviews disappeared.

If he's in love with this other guy you have to take it easy for a while -- by that I don't mean that you shouldn't do anything, but be there for him, and when there's a suitable moment (like, when you're being intimate-ish) ask him how he feels about you. Don't pressure him into anything though, just take things as far as you can without doing that. What you need to avoid is to give him the feeling that you're running after him before he's ready for it. I think your chances are good though -- friendship is a great foundation for a romantic relationship!

I think what many straight men are afraid of when it comes to homosexuality is the fact that, in their view, gay men in some ways assume a feminine role in their way of life and in their relationships. And in a patriarchal society like ours that is a threat to any traditionally raised man. The biggest fear would be that of penetration, of course, since that's just as female as it gets and thus the ultimate humiliation to someone who's not feeling secure in his role as a man. And men very often don't feel secure -- it's not that hard to feel secure in your role as a woman, because not that much is demanded of you; you can be almost as male as you like and still be viewed with respect -- but try being an effeminate man and it won't be the same at all, unless, of course, you're moving in gay circles. So straight men may be afraid of realising that they're gay, or of people thinking that they might be gay -- or just of gay people, who defy the traditional role of men in society by being too like women in some ways (or, in other words, too liberated and actually secure in their role as men). It's a question of gender equality, really. Lol, Kevin!! Even if you had a straight relationship it wouldn't mean that you'd stop being gay! You'd be just the same as ever, and the girl you'd be with couldn't not be gay-friendly -- in fact, she might be a slightly bisexual lesbian, that wouldn't suprise me at all. And your gay friens wouldn't regard you as less gay just because you had a relationship with a woman, would they??

Dermapterophobia

Happy Birthday James! I hope you don't need to lay eyes on any breeders today. (I guess that'd be kind of hard though...) Maria

Thanks everyone! And yes, the weather was fantastic (for once).

Wow that's... interesting. I'd, like, never even come up with the idea of doing something like that -- what makes people do this kind of thing?? Anyway it'd be interesting to have a person like that in a story some time.

You have to downplay your qualifications -- you don't need to lie, you just shouldn't mention everything you've done. I have to do it all the time, except when I want a job I'm not qualified for and have to do the opposite.

I think I'd be getting suspicious in the bedroom after a while. Actually, probably rather soon. But who knows, maybe there might be someone who was *really* good at pretending, or she might say there was something physically wrong with her/him; in that case she might be able to trick me.

Wow, I really think I'll have to go to California just for the Jamba Juice... And yeah, I should think it's better than Starbucks because Starbucks really isn't that great. Sounds like you had a great time. Hmm I suddenly got this urge to play mini-golf...

My avatar means that I look like Princess Leia of course, buns on my ears and all... duh! Actually I just chose it from the ones that were available here on GA. There were so many that I couldn't relate to at all, I didn't want some cute animal or eagle in the sunset or something, but I like Princess Leia as a character, so I thought why not.

I don't know a lot about Danish food, but I know they make violently red salami-like sausages and they eat 'sm

Thanks old bob! I've so been looking forward to this.

Yeah, I really enjoyed your anthology entry as well. I hope you're having a nice summer in spite of all the things you've got to do!

I guess archaeologists prefer digging in warm places like Greece and Egypt. Actually though, it's probably even harder to get funding for digging in Greenland than in, say, Europe or Africa, and -- is the ice in the way? It might cause difficulties for people who want to see what's underneath. It's a pity though, it'd be so cool to find out what really happened. Funny, btw, Leif is a Finnish name originally, and thus not related to Norse names at all. I wonder what made Erik the Red give his son a Finnish name? Maybe it was more common back then than I thought, but I've always been wondering about it.

Midsummer's Eve tomorrow.

I can understand those who have been deaf since birth and are perfectly happy with it and wouldn't want to be hearing if they could have their hearing restored -- and even those who have lost their hearing later and don't want it back. But to choose a disability for your child, that I can't understand. Even hearing children of deaf people become part of deaf culture since they grow up with sign language, which is a great thing, they'll be bilingual. This is rather scary, it brings to mind -- well, ultimately the nazis, if you're going to begin choosing physical traits for your children like that (such as skin colour, hair colour, eye colour). But other traits as well -- frankly, I think it's scary enough when people who adopt children get to choose the sex of their child, but still, it's reasonable, why give a boy to a couple who really wants a daughter when there are others who would rather have a boy? Same thing with deaf or otherwise disabled children: if they're already born and are deaf anyway, then, of course, let a deaf couple adopt, it'd be so much easier since they already know sign language and have the culture. But to choose something for an unborn child, or to choose a child with certain characteristics -- that isn't a good thing under any circumstances, not with a disability, nor with anything else -- sex, sexuality, or eye colour, or anything really. And no, I don't want a Swedish child. Why on earth would I want a child that's as similar as possible to myself?? I totally don't understand that viewpoint. It furthers racism and ignorance. Of course European couples usually have European children if they're both the biological parents, but that's just because it *happens* that way. I wouldn't dream of choosing other characteristics for my child so it'd be more *like* me.

This was very interesting and very original, having such a long non-fictional background that ends in a short fictional story. You've obviously read up on this very thoroughly; one can tell that it's an interest (it almost seems like a passion!) rather than a more short-term effort to find out facts. We did this at school, of course, but I still didn't know how Greenland got its name (hilarious! Both the fact that Erik the Red wanted it to sound better than it was, and the fact that his epithet was 'the Red' while he used the colour green for the name of the place). I also found the fact that they didn't eat fish strange and fascinating (another thing they failed to tell us at school). One little detail: Erik the Red's son was called Leif, not Lief. A typo I suppose. Your concluding story was plausible and interesting, and very sad. Btw, as it began I thought, Ah, here comes the gay part -- but it didn't. And that was probably a good thing, because even though it would most likely still have been plausible, the story was rich enough -- and heavy enough -- without it. P.S. I think you'd enjoy the novel The Long Ships by Frans G. Bengtsson. It's about Vikings, and he managed to make it very saga-ish in some respects.

Marriage was mentioned as a way of passing on genes in another thread (the one called 'breaking up', somewhat paradoxically), and that made me wonder if you've been thinking of having kids, and how. Of course we all know that marriage doesn't mean kids, just as kids don't mean marriage. But how *should* one try to get kids -- if one wants them?

Great that you did it! It was the right thing to do, the way you told it it seemed to me that he might have become a lot unhappier if you'd just begun avoiding him or something. Actually, that is rarely a good approach. So good on you! And don't worry about introducing him to people, you've got enough to do as it is and can do that later when you're less stressed out. If he's been without LGBT friends for this long he'll survive a few weeks more, and then you can be nice and sociable with less of a risk that he'll read things into it.

Happy Birthday, Old Bob!