methodwriter85

Chapter 4 -When Marcel and Phillipe have a heart-to-heart, and he dispels the lies that his mother told his siblings. "Policy of Truth" by Depeche Mode http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxcioX-ojZw -When Marcel and JP have sex, with Stefan watching them. "Father Figure" by George Michael http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WK2WfZj1q8 -When they arrive in Moscow, as the Soviet Union is on the brink of collapsing. "Winds of Change" by The Scorpions http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6lWrF5j0js -When JP and Marcel have lackluster sex, and Marcel calls him on it, but then goes to shower with him anyway. "Tell It To My Heart" by Taylor Dane http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWzp1dWM4-4 -When they discover that someone staged a coup, and Russia's now in turmoil. "Fight the Power" by N.W.A. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtKHh1BL_rM

I thought in honor of the anniversary of Columbine, I'd post this. I wrote it when I was 13. **** Tuesay, April 20, 1999 There has been another school shooting. Again! The 1998-1999 school year has gone by without a fatal shooting! Until now! This time the high school was Columbine High School The unfortunate town with a lowered population this time is Littletown, Colorado. The fatality is as much as 25 people. A school gang that had racist and anti-athlete views has at least 2 members that are suspects, and committed suicide. The Shooting spree began at about 11:30 A.M. Mountain Time, or about 1:30 P.M. our time. One center of the shooting was the library. One eyewitness said there were about 10 people dead. They used explosives. The shootings went on for hours. They say this may be the worst shooting in U.S. history. I can't believe this happened again. If this shooting, with double-digit deaths, is not a cold, hard wake-up call to parents, teachers, and students, than I don't know what will be. The accused made many death threats but people laughed it off! That pisses me off so much!!! They could have gotten help, but people write off their behavior as typical teen angst. What is wrong with this society!? Last school year had about 43 people injured and 15 people killed!!! Why the f**k couldn't people have taken the death threats seriously? What is their f**king problem? Serious denial? I turned on the TV ater 2:30 P.M. and before 3:00 P.M., and I see something on T.V. about some school shooting in Colorade. At that time I never dreamed it would turn so tragic. I thought maybe 10 kids and teachers wounded and 3 or 5 killed. Man, was I wrong. What's weird is that April 20 is Hilter's birthday. Also, 420 is another name for weed. The school shooting had to have been planned for months, if not a year or so. Maybe that's the reason why today was picked. Also, this is the last April 20th before the Y2K. Maybe that had some significance. It's so sad. The seniors are graduating at that high school in 3 weeks. That will be some sad and somber graduation ceremony. But I'm pretty sure they'll cancel it. April 20, 1999 is a date that town isn't likely to forget. Also, cigarette ads on billboards are being removed. Trivial. That's all for tonight. Wednesday, April 21, 1999 The final death toll count is 15 dead. 2 of them were the gunners. 12 were students and 1 was a teacher. The 2 gunmen were members of a clique called the Trenchcoat Mafia. Is being shot in school the price we have to pay for growing up in the late 1990's? I love the the 1990's. But it's times like these that make me want to live in the 1950's. Or the 60's. **** So, there you have it. That was how I saw things when I was 13. I did a senior paper about this six years later, and my opinion basically got shaped by this book where a witness who knew the guys, talked about how they kept going to the police warning them about their behaviour, and the police did nothing. It's called No Easy Answers: The Truth Behind Death At Columbine. It's a pretty good book, and basically the impression I got is that Eric Harris was one crazy sumbitch with grandoise delusions, while Dylan Klebold was easily led around. And that on the surface is was about bullied kids vs. the popular jocks, but it was much, much more complicated than that. It's crazy reading my reaction to this as being the most incredible mass school shooting ever, when eight years later there'd be a massacre at Virginia Tech that'd kill over 30 people. It's amazing what hindsight can give a person.

I think maybe it's more than just about teaching tolerance. Maybe it's more about making sure kids look out for the warning signs, that prevent stuff like this.

Nah, saying that you didn't become paranoid about it happening to you isn't quite as jerky as some other stuff that was said here.

So tommorrow marks the 10th anniversary of the Colombine High School shootings, and I thought I'd take a moment and share this article with you that focuses on some of the victims and what they've been doing with their lives after the tragedy. Columbine High Students- 10 Years Later I was particularly moved with the story of Patrick Ireland, aka the Boy in The Window, who went on to become valedictorian for his class, graduated summa cum laude, and leads a nice successful life with a woman he loves. I also liked the woman who said that it's a part of her, but didn't seem to be letting that moment define her life. As for me, I see the Columbine High School massacre as one of the definining moments of my generation. Although there had been school shootings before, this is the one in which we were able to see news footage of the rescues of people. I think it shattered this innocence people had about how schools were a safe place- and that even the suburban schools weren't a safe haven anymore. It made me think that it could happen ANYWHERE, even at my school. I remember how we used to regularly have to be dismissed from classes because someone pulled a bomb threat, and I've head of schools where they actually had drills pertaining to what to do in case of a school shooting at their campus. And I realize that, thirty or so years previous, our parents would have NEVER been able to concieve of that, especially those who came from the "safe" suburbs. I think at the back of my mind, I always wondered if and when it would happen at my school, because of Columbine. At college, I pretty much left those worries behind because I figured college was the place where everyone could be happy and find acceptance, until V. Tech showed me that the college environment isn't free from crazed bullied kids, either. The solution, I think, is to make sure that our kids understand that differences between us should be celebrated and not feared or despised. When you do that, I think more kids are going to grow up with a better respect for themselves and other people.

In my case, I plan on leading an studio-apartment in the city kind of existence- relying on public transportation and such. The McHOuse, overly consumptive lifestyle isn't for me.

You should really try reading It Started with Brian and Cross-Currents. It seems a hell of a lot like the story you're going through. "Cross-Currents" by Adam Phillips http://library.gaycafe.com/nifty/gay/relat...cross-currents/ "It Started with Brian" by Dan Kincaid https://www.gayauthors.org/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=468 It's about all the advice I can give. I've never experienced being friends with someone since childhood- the earliest friendship I've ever had goes back to the 10th grade, when I was 16. But it seems like there's something very special about life-long friendships like that, and it's not anything to throw over.

Here's this article that looks at what the broader implications of this recession/depression that we're in. Goodbye, Bland Affluence by Peggy Noonan I'm not really thinking we're going to go back to the old days, but I do think the McManion and McHouse World of the 1990's and 2000's are pretty much over for good. What do you guys think?

Speak for yourself, Mark. Young bucks are pretty cute. Nineteen-year old college freshmen can be freakin' hot! Of course, when I think about the fact that they were born in 1989/1990, I kinda cringe, especially since I was four years old in 1990, but I've started to embrace my Mr. Robinson status. So long as they are eighteen plus, it's all good. As for me, I guess I can forego most of the physical stuff in favor of someone great, but...I've got since a thing for a nice head of hair. I dunno if I could ever date a q-ball...when I'm with a guy, one of my favorite things to do is run my hands through his hair.

Yeah, I know. That's why it's an ideal. The personality would be more of the real thing to go on- I think a guy like me needs a good guy who compliments my personality, I think.

Physically, I want a guy who's tall with broad shoulders and a thick, full head of hair that never balds. I like a guy with big hands and big feet, and I like a nice natural tan. Long muscular legs dusted with hair would be nice as well. Personality-wise, I think I'd need a clear-headed, down-to-Earth guy with a great sense of humour. A guy who can make me laugh, yet can also hold very intelligent conversations with me seems ideal, I believe. The kind of guy I want to end up with should be the kind of guy that balances me out, and compliments my personality.

Eh. I left Adam's group for that month and made no big fuss about it. I don't see the point in making a big deal about leaving a group, unlike some other people I could name but won't.

Chapter 3 -When Marcel and JP discuss poltics while flying out to California. "Opposites Attract" by Paul Abdul -When Marcel and JP get to Escorial, and Isidore and Frank tease them about the relationship. "Love Will Never Do Without You" by Janet Jackson http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-yfescKRzI -When Ace confronts Marcel about being with JP, and Marcel stands up to him. "My Prerogative" by Bobby Bown http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5YWqtOQq8s -When they sail down to Cabo San Lucas, and Marcel finds out that Greg left him 10 million dollars. "I Wanna Be Rich" by Calloway http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s99ycqEvGc -When they fly the Concorde to France. "Escapade" by Janet Jackson http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1UVxPnmNkU -When Marcel visits his family, and starts to formulate a plan to help his two siblings. "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson

I figured out where you went to high school because you yourself said there was some local celeb who went to your high school, but eh, I did it mostly for shits n giggles. And I like learning about various features of different Metropolitan areas...have ever since I was 9 years old and devoured my dad's old encyclopedias, reading stories about the development of Manhatten or Houston. (To 1970, anyway.) Were I not horrible in math, I would have loved to have a city planner/engineer. You owe your fans a story done to the best of your abilities, but you don't owe them a story that is dictated by what they want, nor on a schedule they want, since hey...they're not paying for it! So just sit back, relax, and ride a cool buzz and some tasty waves...

I agree with Adam that something like this should be in one of your stories... Maybe that one about a Greater San Francisco Bay kid coming of age during the seventies and early 80's, showing him all grown up on a trip...

Your muse agrees with you, Mark. I'm okay with leaving Marcel and JP alone for awhile.

I tend to like endings where you know people will be okay- not great, but okay. The best example of this would be in "Get Real". which follows a shy school boy who falls for the popular jock. Long story short, popular jock throws him under the bus to maintain status with his "friends", and shy school boy never talks to the guy again, and moves on. Battered, but not beaten. Another ending I really liked was the ending of "Gone with The Wind"- Scarlett FINALLY realizing that she loved Rhett, but it's too late. The scene of her crying on the stairs after his rejection of her, and then getting up with a hopeful smile saying, "After all, tommorrow is another day!" really summed up the philosophy I kinda take with like. THIS day might suck, but the next day will be better. So on, and so forth. I've had a pretty crappy past and some really painful experiences in my life, but I dunno...I've already been able to just pick myself up again and trudge on. I don't really need things to be great- I just need things to be okay. And keeping that in mind, I've reach this sort of inner peace with myself and my place in life that's been wonderful to have.

Chapter 2 -When Marcel and JP wake up, post-coital. "Baby Baby" by Amy Grant http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ms3xvdNvZaQ -When Marcel and JP have sex in his Harvard apartment. "Here Comes Your Man" by the Pixies -When Marcel and JP drive, and talk about his work with the Vietnam War, and the just-won Gulf War. "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjKLNSOiIZU -When Marcel and JP admit to being in love with each other. While having lots of sex. "Just Like A Dream" by The Cure -When Marcel and JP discuss that this probably won't work past the summer, and Marcel resigns himself to just enjoying JP for now. "Love Song" by The Cure http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ay_FLTb5fUs

Mark, he kinda looks like how I picture you at age 20 or so.

Well, I was thinking you'd figure it out.

This feels like a situation that Adam Phillips would get.

Chapter 1 I'm going to enjoy this, because I was 5 in 1991, and the early 90's was the first time I really got into music. And of course, this was when MTV actually still played music, and their VJ's were gods. *** -For Marcel's graduation. "It's the End of the World As We Know It" by R.E.M. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDBz_naagJE -When Marcel and JP make love, with him assuring JP that he doesn't care that he's 32 years older. "All I Wanna Do Is Make Love to You" by Heart http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HXUCJ0QY6U -When Stefan gives, essentially, his blessing for JP and Marcel. "Advice for the Young At Heart" by Tears for Fears http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJW6fQtqqTw -When Marcel meets Dr. Adams at Northwestern, gets a feel for his future there, and respects the past by paying a visit to Jeff's photo display. "Promise of A New Day" by Paula Abdul

You were BORN to blog, Adam.

So on Monday, I get back to school. I'm facing down the last eight weeks of spring semester, and thus finally finish the junior year that I didn't finish before because I left school last year in the middle of junior year. Of course, if we're being techical, I'm not finishing junior year, because at the end of this semester, I should have about seventy-eight credits. To count as a senior, I need ninety credits. To reach graduation, I need 124 credits. This means I need forty-six credits between June 2009 and May 2010. This is where I get into what's been bugging me- to make up the credits and graduate in spring 2010, I need to take two classes during summer session, and two classes during winter session. This is on top of taking about 16 credts for fall 2009 semester and spring 2010 semester. So I'd be going full-throttle from now until I walk across that stage in about fourteen months. What I'm worried about is that I'm going to burn out. Considering that I do think about going to grad school, I'm not sure if it's a good idea for me to get to the point where I don't even want to look at another book by the time I finish undergrad. So this is where option two comes in- taking an extra semester and not doing the summer and winter sessions so I get a nice break. On one hand, I wouldn't have to take a heavy courseload each semester. On the other hand, aside from the financial strain of doing another semester, I'd also be unable to walk across the stage with my friends, and I'd miss out on the whole spring graduation experience. I've seen what they're like, and they're pretty amazing. And then there's option 3- do a 5th year, graduate in spring 2011 instead of spring 2010 or winter 2011. I'd be able to pick up a minor, have the spring graduation experience, have a much lighter courseload, and-this is pretty important- I'd have a lot more time put in between myself and the one-year suspension I had to serve starting in December 2007. The drawbacks would be financial, of course, and I don't think my family would be cool with me still being supported by Mom at the age of 25. So three options...all of them kinda suck, but I know that I have to choose one. I've gotta make the best out of a bad situation I placed myself in because of certain decisions I made- such as transferring to another school my sophomore year and getting suspended junior year. Now I just find myself staring at these last couple of weeks of my re-attempted junior year, and know that sometime very soon, I got to make a decision about my future. Kinda scary.

I think I'd be downing myself in a bottle of vodka had I been one of these kids.