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Ronyx

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  1. Ronyx

    Chapter 11

    I know I was. As a teen, I was extremely bullheaded. If my mother made me mad about something, I would give her the 'silent treatment.' I could go for days or even weeks refusing to look at her or speak to her. It drove her nuts; and being a teenager, I loved it. 😁
  2. Ronyx

    Chapter 11

    The house was empty when I got up. I guess my aunt and uncle weren’t going to force me to go back to school until I was ready. I really wasn’t sure I would be able to face people again. I’d already had to endure their looks when Stephen spread the rumor that I was gay. I could only imagine what they would think about Wade dying in the car accident. Dying. It was still hard for me to understand. Uncle Ray had helped me a little the night before, but it was hard for me to imagine a bright future. I just couldn’t see a rainbow ahead. My mourning had become a storm. Dark clouds surrounded me, and there was no way the sun could ever peek through again. I sat in the family room for a while and watched television, but I soon discovered I was looking at the screen, and I wasn’t really paying attention to what was on. I went to my room and checked my email, but again nothing. I picked up the cell phone on my desk and played a game, but I couldn’t concentrate long enough to even make a decent challenge. Tears welled up in my eyes when I opened my contact list. Only one name appeared- Fucker. Why? Why had he paid for Wade’s funeral? It didn’t make sense. I had humiliated him in front of his coworkers. I had intentionally tried to hurt him. And I know I hurt him. I saw the look in his eyes when he was pulled from my hospital room. I expected him to hate me. I wanted him to hate me. And I still wasn’t sure that he didn’t. He did agree for me to live here with Uncle Ray and Aunt Barbara. By the belongings in my room, it appeared he had completely cleaned out my room at his house. It was obvious he never expected me to return. He hadn’t even spoken to me at Wade’s funeral. A nod of his head was the only acknowledgement that I was at the church a few seats away. He had held Wade’s mother and comforted her, but he couldn’t walk over to me and comfort me. I am hurting. I needed someone to hold me. Two people I loved deeply were now gone. I loved him once, a long time ago. I had loved him before he left us- before he hurt Mom. My mind is wracked with confusion. I want to hate him. But deep inside I want to be a little boy once again. I want to catch a blue gill and listen as he laughs with pride at what I have done. When Uncle Ray held me last night, I wanted it to be him. But I hate him. Right? ******** I was asleep in bed when my phone indicated I had an email. I looked over at the clock. It was 3:36. I got up, sat down at my desk and opened my phone. Gabedaman: can I come see u? I sat and stared at the message for several minutes. I couldn’t decide if I was ready to see Gabe again. He was right when he had said that I wasn’t the same Richie he knew. I had changed and I didn’t know if he would like the new me. I didn’t even like the new me. I wondered if it would be best if I would just let him forget about me. I had too much baggage and I didn’t want him to try and carry it for me. He’d been doing that for years. He didn’t deserve a friend like me. After all these years I knew he felt obligated to be my friend. I wanted his friendship, I needed it. But I was no longer the old Richie. I wasn’t the friend he had grown up with over the years. Something was different. Our friendship would be different. Richierich: yeah, sure I regretted sending it the moment my finger hit the key. I wasn’t prepared to talk to him. I didn’t know what to say. Richierich: can we make it another time? I sat at my desk and waited nervously for his reply, but it never came. He either had left his house before reading it, or he had decided to ignore it. I got up, removed my pajamas and put on a pair of shorts and a tee shirt. I walked over to the window and looked out, waiting for him to come. If I had been at home, it would have only taken him a few minutes. But my aunt’s house was about fifteen blocks away. I looked over at the clock: 3:58. I knew it would only take him about ten minutes to ride his bicycle here. My body began to shake when I saw him ride up into the driveway. He rang the doorbell several times before I got up the nerve to walk to the door and open it. He had his head down but lifted it and attempted a slight smile when he saw me. “Can I come in?” he asked when I stood staring back at him. “Yeah, sure.” I stepped aside as he entered. He was carrying an armload of books. “Here,” he said as he laid them down in a chair. “I brought your homework for you. I wasn’t able to get your computer science assignments because there was a sub today.” He looked up and our eyes met. “Thanks,” I managed to smile. His lips curled into a smile. He then walked over and wrapped his arms around me. My body stiffened as he clutched me tightly. “Are you all right, Richie?” Tears filled my eyes as I rested my head on his shoulder and nodded. His eyes were misty when he pulled away and looked at me. “I know I should have come to see you,” he apologized, “but I didn’t know how to take all this.” Tears started to flow down his cheeks as he pulled me into another hug. “God, Richie! You almost died!” We both started to cry uncontrollably. I don’t know who was more emotional, me or Gabe. One thing was for certain, I hadn’t lost my best friend. He was still here for me, flaws and all. It surprised me when he pulled away, stared into my eyes and then…kissed me. On the lips! I think it startled him as much as it did me. He jumped away, and his face flushed with embarrassment. “Jesus, Richie!” he exclaimed as his face continued to redden. “I didn’t mean to do that!” I held out my arms. “I know that, you idiot.” He walked over and we hugged once again. “But thanks anyway.” He pulled away and said excitedly, “If you ever tell anyone I kissed you, I’ll kick your ass into tomorrow!” I started laughing. I knew Gabe meant nothing by it. It only showed how much he really cared about me. I may never tell anyone about the kiss, but I’ll always cherish it. It sealed our friendship forever. I put my hands on my hips. “What?” I tried to sound insulted. “I’m not a good kisser?” “No,” he said quickly, “you’re a good kisser.” “I am?” I continued to tease him. “No,” he blushed. “I didn’t mean it that way.” “It’s okay, Gabe,” I said trying to make him feel more comfortable. “A kiss doesn’t always mean you want someone. It can show that you care for someone, like when you kiss your grandmother.” It was his turn to put his hands on his hips and act insulted. “So now I kiss like someone’s grandmother?” “Dunno,” I shrugged my shoulders. “You didn’t kiss me long enough for me to tell.” “Well, you’re never gonna find out again,” he insisted. “And if you ever tell anyone...” “You’re going to kick my ass into tomorrow,” I laughed. “Damn, straight,” he replied. He put his arm around my shoulder and led me to the sofa. When we sat down, he turned toward me, tucking one leg under his other. “So, are you all right?” I shrugged my shoulders. “I guess I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” “Guess, not,” he replied sadly. “But you know I’m here for you if you need me?” “Yeah, I know,” I sighed. “Good old Gabe watching out for fucked up little Richie.” He reached out and touched my arm. “Don’t, Richie.” “It’s okay,” I replied when I saw how upset he was getting. “I’ll be all right.” I stood up. “Let’s go to the mall. I need to get out of the house for a while.” He started to grin. “I heard Footlocker is having a sale on Nike’s. Dad gave me my allowance last night. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of money. “Damn!” My eyes widened. “What did you do to get that much money?” “Cleaned out the garage.” “Without me?” I shrieked. “How come he’s never paid you when I’ve helped you?” “You didn’t get me in trouble, Asshole,” he laughed. “When you help me it is usually because you got me to do something stupid at school. Cleaning the garage was our punishment.” “You mean your punishment,” I giggled. “I never got into trouble.” “Fucker!” he laughed as he held up the money. “And if you’re nice, I just might buy you a Big Mac.” “You were going to buy me a Big Mac anyways,” I grinned evilly. “What makes you so sure?” “I’m blackmailing you for kissing me.” “Fucker!” He pulled me back down onto the sofa and pretended to hit me. “I’ll kick your ass.” “Tomorrow!” I screamed as I threw him on the floor. I held out my hand and helped him up. “Let’s go, I’m starved.” He put his arm around my shoulder as we headed for the door. ******** I intended to go back to school the next day, but I didn’t get any sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, Wade’s face appeared. Tears filled my eyes when I saw him grinning with his brown eyes shining with mischief. God, I miss him so much! What I miss the most is not giving him my virginity. I had planned to do that after he had taken me out to the steak house. As we ate, I really began to fall in love with him. He would look over and smile innocently. And his eyes, those brown eyes, they would stare at me with so much love. When he told me that I was the first person he had ever told that he loved, I believed him. And I had wanted to give him the only thing I could to show that I loved him to- me. But now... I was curled in a ball hiding under the covers when Uncle Ray entered the bedroom. He sat down and didn’t say anything for several minutes. I guess he didn’t know what to say. What can you say to someone whose world has been shattered completely? He finally reached out and rubbed me on my back. “Just remember what I told you, Richie. It won’t last forever.” I nodded and then he got up and left the room. I slept for about two hours until my cell phone rang. I was puzzled who was calling me because I hadn’t given it out to anyone. When I picked it up, I saw the word ‘Fucker’ on the screen. My hand started to tremble as I held it, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him. I turned it off and put it back on my desk. After showering and eating some cereal, I went out into the garage and got out my bike. It took me about thirty-five minutes to ride across town. When I entered through the wrought iron double gates, I saw a large, green tent with many people standing outside. I wondered who they had come to mourn. Was it someone they loved, or were they there because it was the proper thing to do? Then I thought again of him. Did he attend mother’s funeral because he still had feelings of love for her, or had he been there because it was expected? He was, after all, still her husband and our father. I stood beside my bike as I looked at the large number of people surrounding the tent. Who had this person been that brought so many people to say goodbye to them? Tears filled my eyes as I wondered why no one had attended Wade’s funeral. He was a great guy, perhaps greater than the person whose casket sat under the tent. But no one came to say goodbye to him. Even I couldn’t bring myself to follow the hearse for the last ride to the cemetery. I remembered how difficult it was to watch as the long black vehicle led the procession to where I now stood. It would have been too emotional for me to have to do it again so soon. So, I went home and buried my head under the covers of my bed. Now I didn’t even know where he was. I got back on my bike and rode it up the sloping hill to where my mother was. As I approached, I noticed a black BMW. He was here. I turned and headed to a large oak tree and hid behind it so he couldn’t see me. He was sitting on the ground beside the now wilted and dry flowers. Andrew was sitting in his lap and Melinda was pressed up against his body with her head buried in his shoulder. She was holding a bouquet of fresh pink carnations. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but it appeared he was trying to console my little brother. He put his arms around him and held him tightly. I dropped to the ground and started crying silent tears. I didn’t want to make any sounds because I didn’t want him to know that I was watching. After several minutes they got up off the ground and he put his arms around Andrew and Melinda and stood staring down at the ground. She leaned down and carefully placed the bouquet atop the mound of dirt. They turned and headed back to his car. Harley jumped out from the back seat, ran to Andrew and embraced him. Freddy got out of the passenger’s side and helped Melinda into the car. When he turned, he saw me standing behind the tree watching. Our eyes met. We stood staring at each other briefly before he nodded slightly and then got into the car. I watched as his black car pulled away and he drove off down the sloping hill and through the wrought iron gate. After I was sure they wouldn’t return, I walked over to her gravesite and sat down. I crossed my legs and just sat staring at the flowers my sister had placed upon the grave. After several minutes, I finally began to speak. “I don’t even know where to begin,” I said tearfully. “So much has happened since you’ve left.” My shoulders began to shake, and I leaned forward and cried for several minutes. Finally, I sat back up and wiped my face clean. “Did you know?” I picked a fresh carnation from the bouquet and held it in my hand. “There were so many times I wanted to tell you, but you already had so many other things to deal with.” I plucked a few petals from the flower and let them fall to the ground. “Somehow, I think you knew, though. Mothers always know, don’t they?” Tears again filled my eyes. “I want to make you proud of me. I really do. But things are so hard right now.” Again, I feel forward and started sobbing loudly. I sat back up and plucked a few more petals from the pink carnation. “I fell in love, Mom. His name was Wade. I think you would have liked him.” More tears. They wouldn’t stop flowing from my eyes. “He died, though.” I sat staring down at the mound of dirt. “I wish you were here. I’m so confused.” I plucked more petals from the pink carnation and let them fall to the ground below. “But I guess you’re not here, so I’m going to have to learn to do this by myself,” I said sadly. “Life sure is hard, isn’t it?” I lifted my sleeve to my eyes and wiped them dry. “Where ever you are, I hope you’re not in any more pain. I hope you’re watching over Andrew, Melinda and me. I’ll try to do good. I promise. It’s just isn’t easy.” I plucked a few more petals from the carnation. “I guess I’m going to have to be a man now, huh?” I blinked back the tears. “Dad is taking good care of Andrew and Melinda. Don’t worry about them.” I reached for more petals, but there were none. “He hates me, so I’m living with Aunt Barbara and Uncle Ray; but I guess you already know that.” I looked up as a flock of birds flew overhead. I sighed and sat motionless for several minutes. I watched as the mourners at the big, green tent walked quietly back to their cars and drove away. “I guess I better go,” I finally said. “I’m meeting Gabe and we’re going to the mall. He’s still my best friend.” I fought back tears. “I don’t know why, though.” I took a deep breath. “I love you, Mom. I know you didn’t want to leave us.” I leaned down, kissed the dirty ground and then sat back up. “I promise I’ll try to be good. I won’t let you down no more.” I wiped the tears from my eyes and then stood up. After staring down the mounded soil for another minute, I walked to my bike and headed home. ******** Gabe was sitting on the porch waiting for me when I arrived home. “Where the hell have you been, Richie?” He looked down at his watch. “I’ve been sitting waiting for ten minutes.” “Wow,” I laughed. “Ten whole minutes?” “Well,” he pouted. “It seemed like a long time.” “Did you get the money for the shoes?” I asked as I opened the door. He followed me up to my room. The shoes he had seen the day before cost more than he had, so he was going to ask his father if he could do more chores to make up the difference. “No,” he frowned. “He told me I had to learn to live within my means. I’m fucking fifteen, I don’t have any means. Whatever that is.” “You saw that other pair you liked,” I reminded him. “They were cheaper than the ones you wanted.” “Yeah,” he frowned again. “But everyone is wearing the ones I wanted. They’ll know I couldn’t afford them.” “Does it really matter what they think?” He threw up his arms. “Well, duh, yeah,” he replied. “I play basketball. If I’m going to get a girl to look at me, I have to look good.” I scanned his body, fell on the bed and started laughing. “You gotta have a body to look at first.” He jumped on the bed and pinned me down. I continued to laugh as I attempted to wiggle from under his lanky body. “So now I’m ugly?” I continued to squirm under him. Finally, I was able to break away. I ran to the middle of the room and turned. “Yeah,” I laughed. “And you can’t kiss, either!” “Fucker!” he screamed as he shot up from the bed and chased me into the living room. He tackled me, and we went tumbling to the ground. “I can to kiss,” he insisted as he held me to the ground. “I just can’t kiss another guy.” “You didn’t have a problem yesterday,” I squealed as he pressed me harder into the ground. “And besides, you’ve never even kissed a girl.” “I have to!” he shouted. I stopped squirming and he let me up. “Really?” I looked over as his face reddened. I knew Gabe talked to a lot of girls, but I had never know him to date any yet. “Who?” “I’m not going to tell you,” he said as he sat up and tried to catch his breath. “You’ll tell everyone if I tell you.” “No, I won’t,” I promised. “Who have you kissed?” He studied me for a minute before responding. “Promise you won’t tell anyone?” I nodded my head. “Okay. Teresa Scott.” “Teresa Scott!” I started laughing. “I knew it. You two have been looking at each other since the sixth grade. When?” “When what?” “Idiot,” I laughed. “When did you kiss her?” “Two weeks ago,” he blushed. “After a ball game.” “Did you?” I ran my finger inside my fisted hand. His eyes widened. “No!” He screamed. “We only kissed for a few minutes.” He scooted back, leaned against the sofa and looked over at me. “What about you?” “What about me, what?” “You know.” He started making the same gesture with his hands. Tears filled my eyes as I got up and walked into the kitchen. Gabe jumped up and followed me into the room. “Jesus, Richie!” he apologized as he grabbed my shoulder and turned me toward him. “I’m really sorry. I forgot.” “It’s okay.” I got a paper towel from the counter and wiped my eyes. He continued to look at me. “So, you two were like... in love or something?” I started laughing nervously thinking about Wade’s proposal. “Yeah. He kinda wanted us to get married.” Gabe’s eyes widened. “No shit! Weren’t you too young? And besides, is that even legal?” “Dunno,” I responded sadly. I wiped a few more tears from my eyes. “I guess now it’s never going to happen.” Gabe walked over and pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry, Richie,” he said. “I was such a dick. I’m sorry for all the things I said about him. I didn’t know.” I pulled away and walked across the room. “I guess I really didn’t give you a chance to know, huh?” “I’m your best friend, though,” he said. “I should have known.” He walked over and stood before me. “Promise one thing though.” I nodded my head. “If you ever fall in love with another guy, let me know, okay?” I started laughing at the serious look on his face. Good old Gabe. I knew why he’d been my best friend for all these years. “I don’t think it will ever happen again,” I smiled. “But if it does, you’ll be the first to know.” “Good. I better be.” He hit me lightly on my arm. “Now let’s go to the mall. I guess I’ll have to settle for the cheaper shoes.” “Gabe?” “Yeah?” “You’re not ugly.” I smiled. “I’m sure you’re going to kiss a lot of girls.” “You think so?” he asked hopefully. Gabe is cute, athletic and smart. He is also a bit naïve and clueless about the charm he possesses. I have been jealous for years about the way girls fawn over him, trying to get him to pay attention to them. “Yeah, I’m sure of it.” I threw my arms around his shoulder. “Let’s go.” As we headed for the door, he suddenly stopped. “Wait a minute!” He reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope. “I almost forgot. Here.” He thrust the envelope into my hand. “What’s this?” “I stopped by your house to talk to Freddy before I came over here,” he explained. “When I told your dad I was going to the mall with you, he gave me that.” He nodded at the envelope I was holding. “What’s in it?” “Dunno,” I said as I fumbled to open it. I reached in and pulled out a large wad of money. “Jesus, Rich!” Gabe grabbed it from my hands and counted it. “There’s two hundred dollars here!” he squealed. When he handed the money to me, I pushed it back into his hand. “You keep it,” I insisted. “I don’t want it.” “I can’t take this, Richie.” “Sure you can,” I insisted. I didn’t want anything he gave me. “It’s only guilt money, anyway.” “Guilt money?” “Never mind,” I smiled. “You want those shoes we saw yesterday, don’t you?” “Hell, yeah!” “Then let’s go buy them.” “You sure?” He looked at the money he was holding in his hand. “I’m sure,” I smiled. “You’re my best bud.” I threw my arm around his shoulder and we headed for the door. I started laughing when he shouted, “Fucking, hell yeah!”
  3. Ronyx

    Chapter 10

    Thank you, @droughtquake. Such valuable information.
  4. Ronyx

    Chapter 10

    “Are you ready?” Aunt Barbara picked up my gym bag for me. “I can carry that,” I insisted as I took it from her hand. A nurse was waiting nearby with a wheelchair. I still couldn’t believe it when she and Uncle Ray told me the night before that he had called them and informed them that I could live with them. “Why?” He had been so insistent that I live with him, his whore and her children. I guess he couldn’t handle having a gay son. Even though I was delighted that I didn’t have to return to his house, I was hurt that he had so readily given up. Even though I hated him, it still hurt to know that he no longer wanted me. “He called us the other day,” Uncle Ray explained, “and told us to come by the house and pick up your things. We’ve prepared the guest bedroom for you.” “Did he say anything to you?” I was sure he had told them the reason he didn’t want me to return home is because I was gay. “We’ll talk later,” my aunt said as looked around the room to see if we had gotten all my personal items. Since she seemed to be avoiding the subject, I determined that they now knew. I walked over to the mirror and looked at the side of my face. My head where I had hit the window was still swollen and heavily bruised. My short black hair had been shaven, and the nine stitches were obvious. I took the wool cap my aunt had brought me and carefully covered my head. "Do I have to ride in that?” I looked down at the wheelchair the nurse had pulled up to me. “Hospital policy,” she replied tersely. She gave me a stern look until I finally relented and sat down. We left the room and headed toward the elevator. My doctor stepped out from the nurses’ station when he saw us approaching. “Now you take care of yourself,” he said warmly as he extended his hand. I hesitated before finally reaching out and shaking it. “No skateboards for a while.” He started to laugh until he noticed that I rolled my eyes. He reached down, patted my shoulder and walked away. We rode home in silence. Uncle Ray kept looking in the rearview mirror at me, and Aunt Barbara would occasionally turn and attempt to say something, but she would stop when I’d look out the window. I didn’t mean to be rude. I just... I guess I just wasn’t in the mood for anyone to care about me anymore. The only two people who loved me, and I loved back, were dead. Love hurt. My heart ached and I couldn’t stop it from hurting. My mother’s death had devastated me. It had drained me of life. Wade had come into my life and given me a ray of hope that I could again find happiness. We had only known each other for a short time, but it was enough for me feel that my life had a new meaning. His death destroyed that. I no longer wanted to feel anything. I didn’t want anyone to feel anything for me. Life hurt. And I no longer had any will to go on. I was fifteen, and I couldn’t, and didn’t, want to face a dark future. “Here we are,” Uncle Ray announced as we pulled into the driveway. I got out and walked slowly up the steps and waited for him to open the door. I then walked into my new home. I’d spent many nights with them, so I knew which bedroom was mine. I was surprised when I opened the door and walked inside. It looked almost identical to my old bedroom- now Freddy’s. My posters were hanging on the walls, and my computer was on the desk that my mother had given me when I was ten. I was surprised to see the cell phone he had given me next to my computer. I picked it up and examined it. “Is the room all right, Dear?” My aunt walked up and put her hand on my back. “Freddy spent yesterday getting the room ready for you. He’s such a nice young man.” I stepped away and opened the closet door. Most of my clothing appeared to be hanging inside. My shoes had been placed neatly against the wall. “Do you need anything?” She walked over to the dresser and checked out the contents on top. “Do you have deodorant?” “I’ll check later,” I yawned. I toed off my shoes and lay across the bed. She walked over, kissed me on my forehead and then left the room. I fell asleep for about an hour. I then got up and walked across the hall to the restroom. As I washed my hands, I opened the medicine cabinet door and looked inside. I saw several vials of pills. I carefully read the labels until I found a name I recognized- oxycotin. I had given it to my mother numerous times when she was in severe pain. I stuffed the vial into my pocket and then filled a glass with water. When I was done, I crept back to my room. I sat on the side of the bed, emptied the pills into my palm and counted them. There were twenty-three. ‘That should be more than enough,’ I thought. My mind kept telling me that what I was doing was wrong, but my emotions were winning the battle. I thought back to the past three years that I had endured my mother’s sickness, and then her death. I thought of him and how much hatred I had for what he had done to her. And I thought of Wade’s listless body as it slumped into my lap. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. Tears wouldn’t flow. I was determined to carry through what I felt I had to do. If I thought about it, became too emotional, then I knew I couldn’t finish the task. I lifted the pills to my mouth. Suddenly, I heard footsteps running down the hallway. I slipped the pills into my pocket just as the door sprang open and Andrew came bounding in. He jumped into my arms and buried his head into my shoulder. “Richie!” he cried. “I’ve missed you so much.” He wrapped his hands around my neck so tightly I could hardly breathe. When I looked up Aunt Barbara was standing in the hallway with tears running down her face. Behind her was my sister, Melinda. She, too, was crying uncontrollably. I held out my arms and she rushed into them. Aunt Barbara closed the door and left the three of us alone. I held them tightly for several minutes. I had forgotten just how much they had meant to me. “Why ain’t you living with us anymore?” Andrew finally asked. Melinda looked at me, awaiting an answer. “I don’t know,” I answered. I couldn’t tell them how much I hated him. From what I had seen when I was there, they both seemed to be adjusting to the new situation. I didn’t want to influence them into thinking like me. “You’re going to come back home?” Melinda asked hopefully. I had to slap Andrew’s hand away when he started lifting my cap to look at my head. “Are you all right, Richie?” Andrew asked. He reached for my cap and this time I let him look underneath it. “Ewww!” he screeched. “Daddy said you’d been in a car wreck.” Melinda said. “Is that what happened.” She wrinkled her nose when she saw the stitches on my head. “Does it hurt?” Andrew started poking at my head. “Oww!” I pulled his hand away and pulled the cap back down. “Of course it hurts.” “I’m sorry, Richie.” I pulled him into a hug when it looked like he was getting ready to cry. “It’s okay, Big Guy,” I assured him. “I’ll be all right.” He looked at me and asked, “When are you coming home?” “I’ll tell you what,” I said as I placed him and Melinda on my knees. “Give me a few days to think about things, and then I may come back. Okay?” They both shook their heads. Andrew asked, “Can I stay here with you then?” I frowned. “What about Harley? I thought he was your new brother?” Andrew leaned in and hugged me tightly. “He’s not you, Richie.” Melinda hugged me tightly also. The bedroom door opened, and Aunt Barbara walked in. “Your father is back, Kids.” Melinda asked, “Isn’t he going to come in and see how Richie is?” Aunt Barbara looked at me and frowned. “You’d better go now,” I said as I put them down on the floor and patted Andrew on his butt. “I’ll see both of you soon.” They gave me another hug before leaving. I walked over to the window and watched as they got in the car. Harley was waiting anxiously outside the car for Andrew. As he pulled from the driveway, my father looked up and saw me watching them leave. I closed the blinds. I then retrieved the pills from my pocket and placed them back into the vial. Even though I didn’t feel like living, I couldn’t put Andrew and Melinda through another tragedy. I walked across the hall and put the bottle back into the medicine cabinet. When I returned to my room, I sat down at my computer and opened my email. There was only one. I had been in a severe accident in which two people died, and only one person had sent me an email. When I opened it, it was only an advertisement for a new video store that had opened downtown. No one cared. I wasn’t used to getting a lot of email, but several friends always managed to write something each day. What hurt most was that Gabe hadn’t written. In fact, he hadn’t even visited me at the hospital. There was a time when if I got even a splinter in my finger, he would be there helping me until I had dug the sliver out. I had almost died, and he wasn’t even around. There was a knock on the door. Aunt Barbara entered with a glass of milk and some cookies on a plate. “Are you hungry?” She walked over and sat on the side of the bed. I signed off, and then joined her. She smiled as she handed me the glass of milk. “Be careful of the cookies,” she warned. “I just took them out of the oven.” I nibbled on the cookie, aware that she was watching me. Finally, she reached down and took my hand in hers. “Are you all right, Richie?” I looked into her eyes. My head dropped. “You know, don’t you?” She squeezed my hand tighter. “Yes, Dear,” she said softly. “Your father had a long talk with Raymond when he went to get your things.” I started laughing nervously. “I can just imagine what he said.” “I think you might be surprised,” she said. “He’s very hurt.” I jumped to my feet and looked down at her. “Hurt! After what he did to Mom, he’s hurt?” Aunt Barbara patted the side of the bed. “It’s complicated, Richie,” she said as I sat down. “I’m not sure you can even begin to understand.” “What’s to understand?” I responded angrily. “He left us when we needed him.” “That is what has hurt him the most,” she said as she held my hand. “He knows that not only did he lose his wife, he lost his son. He came back to make it up to you.” I started to laugh uncontrollably. “He sure did a good job of that.” Images of him hitting me came surging into my mind. She reached out and ran her hand over my covered head. “A lot has happened to you. More than anyone your age should ever go through. Perhaps someday you’ll see things differently.” I looked angrily at her. “You act like you’re forgiving him. Look what he did to your sister.” “Oh, no,” she laughed. “I still hate the son of a bitch. But then again, he’s not my father.” I started laughing and then leaned in and gave her a hug. “Just keep an open mind, okay? Hatred can be a bigger and more bitter son of a bitch than him.” I nodded my head into her shoulder. ******** I sat in the car in front of the small church, refusing to get out. “I thought you wanted to attend the funeral?” My aunt looked worriedly at me. “Would you like for me to take you home?” I looked at the large oaken door and took a deep breath. “No,” I responded. “I should be here.” My hands trembled as I reached for the door handle. I knew I needed to attend Wade’s funeral. Aunt Barbara had placed the newspaper on my desk with the obituary section where I could see it. Chenoweth, Wade, age 15. Died unexpectedly on Monday. Preceded in death by his father, George Chenoweth. Survived by his mother, Frances Gibson, sister Rhonda, brothers George Jr. and Edwin. He is mourned by other family members and friends. I had closed my bedroom door, lay on my bed and cried for hours. I don’t think even my mother’s death had affected me so much. I had been prepared for hers. In a way, after all the long months of suffering, I had almost welcomed it. She was no longer in pain. But Wade’s death was cruel. One minute we were laughing and joking, and the next I was holding his dead body in my lap. For days I had tried to give his death some meaning, but I couldn’t. Why would someone like Wade, who enjoyed life and living, be gone in a second? There was no warning. No preparation. It just happened. And I didn’t know why. My aunt took my hand and led me toward the church. Several people turned when we entered. My body was trembling. I would have collapsed onto the floor when I saw the brown casket had my aunt not reached out to catch me. She led me to a seat in the back. I fell into the pew and stared forward. The casket was closed, so I could not see Wade’s body. I think it would have been better had I seen him because it was still hard for me to comprehend that he was really gone. Just days before we were holding and kissing each other. I still hadn’t come to accept that I would never again see him. His family kept turning to look at us. Except for his immediate family, the church was almost empty. No one else had come to mourn his death. I thought that Doug or Stephan might have been there, but even they hadn’t come to mourn him. His foster mother was sitting about three rows behind them. She had her head down and would occasionally daub her eyes with a pink handkerchief. Only seven people sat looking at the brown casket. There were only two floral arrangements sitting beside it. One was the one my aunt had sent with my name on it. I wanted Wade to have white carnations like my mother had. She would have liked Wade. She might have even accepted him as my boyfriend. She enjoyed life like he did. Through all the suffering she endured, she rarely complained. I know she cried late at night because I could hear her when I’d stand outside her bedroom. But in the morning, she would greet me with a smile. Wade was like that. He had been dealt a bad hand. His father had died when he was young. His mother had been absent the past several years and he had to live in a foster home. He hadn’t seen his sister and brothers in years. But he never complained. I guess when you got nothing to lose, you look at life differently than other people. Like him and my mother, when you have nothing to look forward to, then you live each day at a time. I watched as his mother got up and approached us. She was a small, frail woman. Her face was gaunt, and she seemed to appear much older than she was. Her clothes were shabby, and her hair was unkempt. She appeared like someone who would be scavenging for food in a deserted alley than someone who was attending the funeral of her youngest child. Wade must have looked like his father, I thought. He didn’t have any of her characteristics. “Thank you for coming,” she said weakly. She extended her hand to my aunt and then me. “Are you one of Wade’s classmates?” “No, Ma’am.” Tears started to appear in my eyes. “I’m Richie Ferguson. I was with him when he …” My head fell onto my aunt’s shoulder as I continued to cry. His mother sat down beside me and patted my leg. “It’s all right.” She too began to cry. “He’s in a better place now.” My immediate instinct was to scream at her. “In a better place! How can you sit here and say that?” But when I turned and saw the hurt in her eyes, I knew that was the only thing that was probably helping her accept Wade’s death. I merely looked at her and nodded. I couldn’t believe what she said next. “Thank your father for what he’s done.” I looked blankly at her. “What do you mean?” She took my hand and squeezed it tightly. “He’s such a generous man. I don’t know what I would have done without his help.” “What help?” I managed to ask. “Don’t you know?” I shook my head. “He’s paid for everything. When he found out that I couldn’t afford to bury Wade...” Her voice began to tremble, “he paid for the casket and the other funeral expenses.” She buried her head in her hands and wept. I looked at my aunt. She looked as surprised as I was. Wade’s sister came back and led his mother back to the front. She sat quietly staring at the brown casket until a minister entered from a side door. He walked over and talked quietly to her for several minutes. Just as the minister stood before the podium and began to speak, he walked in and took a seat in the back on the other side of the church. My aunt grasped my hand tightly. “What’s he doing here?” I whispered. “I don’t know,” she replied as we both looked over at him. He looked at us and nodded slightly. First, he paid for Wade’s funeral expenses. Now, he suddenly appears at the church. I didn’t even hear the words that the minister spoke. I kept looking past my aunt at him. He never looked at us. He kept his eyes staring straight ahead. Occasionally he would nod at something the minister said. I wanted to hate him. I wanted to be consumed with the rage I felt at my mother’s funeral, but I couldn’t. I knew that Wade wouldn’t have been buried properly if it had not been for him. But why? After all the hurtful things I had said at the hospital, I would have expected him to hate me and Wade. He knew Wade was my boyfriend, and now he does this. I couldn’t get ‘why’ out of my thoughts as I sat and looked over at him. I heard the minister say, “Amen,” as everyone else repeated it. I looked to the front of the church and saw Wade’s mother walk over to the casket and kiss it. She then started weeping softly. His sister tried to comfort her, but she was inconsolable. Finally, his brothers managed to pull her away and lead her toward the back of the church. They stopped and talked briefly to him. She hugged him, and he helped her from the church. When my aunt and I left the church, we saw some men taking Wade’s casket to the hearse. His mother and sister were sitting in an old car behind it. His brothers were parked behind it in a newer model car. I looked around for him, but he I didn’t see his BMW. “Do you want to go to the cemetery?” my aunt asked softly. “No, Ma’am,” I replied. “I just want to go home.” She led me to her car and helped me get into the passenger’s side. I closed my eyes and rested my head on the headrest on the way back to my aunt’s house. When we arrived, I went straight to my bedroom and slept the rest of the day. ******** My aunt woke me around six for dinner. I told her I wasn’t hungry, but she insisted that I join her and Uncle Ray. “You can watch us eat,” she joked. I pushed food around on my plate while my aunt looked worriedly at me. A few times I saw her look at my uncle and shrug her shoulders. “Are you going back to school tomorrow?” I looked over at my uncle. “I dunno,” I responded. “Do I have to?” “You have to go back sometime,” my aunt remarked. I looked down at the green beans and stabbed several onto my fork. I looked at her and shook my head. “I mean, what’s the use?” “But you’re going to miss too much work,” she responded worriedly. “So?” I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. “Look what good it did for Wade.” I pushed my chair back and rushed from the dining room. She started to get up, but Uncle Ray stopped her. I heard him say, “Let me talk to him.” It was rare for my uncle to come into my room and talk. He was generally a quiet man who had little to say. My aunt did most of talking; but many times I felt that she was merely echoing what he thought. I was lying on my stomach with the pillow over my head when he walked into the room and sat on the side of my bed. “Richie?” I didn’t respond. “Richie, sit up.” I sat up and wiped the tears from my face. He put his arm around me and pulled me into his chest. I sighed and nestled comfortably into his arms. I felt like a little boy sitting in his lap before he left my mother. There was a time when I worshipped him. He was strong and determined. There was a time I was proud of my dark hair and brown eyes. There was a time I was proud he was my father. Then he and my mother began to fight. I’m not even sure when it began. I must have been about ten. It was before she got sick. It started as muted arguments. By the time he walked out and left us, it had turned into loud shouting. But it wasn’t always like that. He loved to take me fishing. I was about four the first time he took me to the lake. “Our lake,” as he called it. We would drive about an hour to Timberland Lake, just me and him. We’d walk along the bank until we found just the perfect spot. He would make a game of it. “Do you think the fish are biting here?” he would ask me. Then he’d roar with laughter when I’d shake my head and point out that the fish looked better “over there.” Then we’d walk to the spot I picked out. He’d put a worm on my fishing pole, then I’d sit beside him and watch for the bobber to go under the water. “I got one!” I would shriek with joy. “Pull it in, Son,” he encouraged me. “Good job!” he’d say with pride as I held up the little blue gill. Those were the happy moments- before he left us. My body began to shake as I quietly sobbed into Uncle Ray’s shoulder. He held me tighter as he wrapped his strong arms around me. “I know you don’t believe this now, Richie,” he said softly. “But things will get better someday.” “I doubt it,” I cried. He pulled away and looked at me. There was a tenderness I had never seen in him before. “Life is filled with ups and downs. You probably feel right now that life isn’t worth living.” I nodded as I wiped tears from my eyes. “But things don’t last forever. The biggest thrills in life are only temporary. And the worst moments don’t last forever, either. That’s why we cherish the good times because we never know when a worst moment will come into our life.” He pulled me into him, and I rested my head once again on his shoulder. “Your mother was a wonderful woman. I don’t think there’s anyone I admired more. That even goes for your aunt.” He started laughing. “Don’t ever tell her I said that.” I nodded my head into his shoulder. “She had a strength about her. Even in the worst of times, she still found time to see the good around her.” He looked down at me with tears in his eyes. “You were one of those good things around her, Richie.” I leaned back into his shoulder and started crying. “I’m not all that good,” I sobbed. “Yes, you are.” He squeezed me tighter. “You’re just in one of those worst moments. Sometimes they make us lose our way. Sometimes we think that there’s no end to the suffering. “I’m not going to sit here and tell you that tomorrow will be a better day. Maybe not next week or next month. But one thing you must believe, things will get better. Someday all the hurt and pain will be a memory. But it’s the bad times that make us appreciate the good times more. Do you understand what I’m saying?” I nodded into his shoulder. “I think so,” I muttered. “You shared a lot of good times with your mother,” he said. “Focus on those. She loved you, Andrew and Melinda very much. You were her world. And I never met Wade, but I’m sure he was a wonderful young man.” I nodded once again. “He was,” I replied softly. “Then think about the good times you had. Just because you only knew him for a short time doesn’t mean that the hurt is any less.” “I think I loved him,” I responded sadly. “Of course, you did.” He again squeezed me tightly in his arms. “And don’t ever let anyone tell you that you didn’t. Just because you were young didn’t mean you didn’t feel strongly for each other.” I sat up and looked over at him. “So, what do I do now? I don’t know what to do.” “Of course you don’t,” he said. “And I don’t know what to tell you. We each come to terms with our grief and mourning differently. Some people recover quickly and move on to their next journey in life. For others the process is a little slower.” He reached out and held me by my shoulders. “But someday you have to start making the journey forward. That doesn’t mean you have to shut out the past. Your mourning is now a part of you. Until the day you die, your mother and Wade will be a part of you. Their deaths have now defined the man you’ll become. “Your future is now up to you. You can live forever in the past. You can live with the might-have-been, or you can accept that which has happened. Sometimes our grief makes us stronger.” “I doubt that,” I replied. He smiled down at me. “I know that’s hard to understand,” he said. “But many great men and women have experienced grief and pain, and then gone on to change the world.” “Really?” “Yes,” he said. “Look at Helen Keller.” “Who’s she?” “She was born blind. She had a horrible childhood,” he explained. “But she overcame it and changed how the world viewed blind people.” “Or Franklin Roosevelt.” “Who’s he?” “He was a great president,” he said. “He led us through one of America’s worse times, the Depression and World War II.” “I remember studying about him in school.” “Did they tell you he suffered from polio?” I shook my head. “He suffered almost his adult life, but he never let it get him down. He faced it head on and made a great impact on the world.” He pulled me into him and hugged me. “What I’m trying to say, Richie, is that the world is filled with people who have faced bad times. Some people let it destroy them. For others, it has made them stronger. I could give you thousands of examples. Read your history books and find out for yourself.” I nodded. He pulled back the cover on the bed and I climbed in. I felt like a little boy once again when he pulled the cover over me and kissed me gently on the forehead. “Think about what I’ve said, Richie. Dig deep and find the strength I know you have within you.” “I will, Uncle Ray.” He got up and started to leave the room. “Uncle Ray?” “Yeah, Richie.” “Thanks. I love you.” “I love you too, Richie.” He turned out the lights and closed the door.
  5. Ronyx

    Chapter 9

    We drove around for about a half hour. Wade kept circling a particular house. He would slow down, but he never came to a complete stop. “Who lives there?” I asked after the third time we drove by. “My brother,” he replied as he pulled the car to the curb. He sat and looked at the house for a minute before getting out. “Wait here.” I watched as he walked up the drive and then disappeared behind the garage. A few seconds later I heard glass breaking. I looked at the ignition, but I realized the car didn’t start with a key. I was going to attempt to drive away. I waited a few more minutes and then I got out of the car and started walking quickly down the sidewalk. I didn’t want to be around in case someone had seen him entering the house and called the police. When I was two blocks away, I looked back but the car was still parked in front of the house. I turned left and started heading back toward the school. I figured I would probably have about a half hour walk. I had walked about a block when I heard a car horn behind me. I turned as Wade pulled up beside me and grinned. “Want a ride, Cutie?” I stormed over to the car. “What did you do back there?” I looked into the back seat and saw a small flat screen television. “Got us lunch,” he giggled. “Get in.” “Did you steal that?” I shouted nervously as I looked once again into the backseat. “Naw,” he said. “He owed me some money. I’m just collecting.” “You broke into your brother’s house and stole his television!” He looked nervously into his rearview mirror. “Come on, Richie,” he begged. “We don’t have time to argue about this.” When I heard a siren in the distance, I got into the front seat as Wade gunned the engine and pulled away. He turned into an alley and drove down side roads and alleys until we came to the house where he had sold my cell phone days earlier. “Wait here,” he said as he got out, removed the television from the backseat and headed onto the porch. Someone answered the door and he disappeared inside. I looked around nervously, scanning the road for a police car. After hearing the siren earlier, I was sure that someone had probably seen him enter the house and notified the police. I was relieved when Wade finally came out and ran to the car. When he got in, he turned to me and smiled. “Where do you want to eat?” “I’m not hungry,” I responded angrily. “Come on, Richie,” he pleaded. “Don’t be mad at me. I only did it for you.” I covered my face with my hands and sighed. I couldn’t believe he had stolen from his brother just to buy me lunch. I jumped when he snaked his hand into my shorts and wrapped it around my flaccid cock. “Let’s go eat and then go back to my place.” I looked over and he wiggled his eyebrows. I could feel my cock hardening. He gave it a few more squeezes and then pulled his hand out. “Where to?” I put my head back against the headrest. “You decide,” I replied. Ten minutes later, he was pulling into the parking lot of one of the town’s best steak houses. “We can’t eat here!” I exclaimed. “It costs too much.” Wade pulled a large wad of money out his pocket and grinned. “I got it covered.” He got out, walked around to my side and opened the door. “This way, Sir.” He put his hand against his stomach and bowed. “Idiot,” I giggled as I followed him into the restaurant. Wade was unusually quiet throughout lunch. He would look over at me and smile shyly. Finally, I couldn’t take the silence. I asked, “What’s wrong?” “I just feel strange,” he answered. “This kind of feels like we’re on a first date.” I looked at him and smiled. “Yeah,” I giggled. “It does.” He scooted nearer to my chair and reached down and took my hand. “I really love you,” he said. “You’re the first person I’ve really felt this way about.” His eyes became misty with tears. “I know,” I replied. “I’m falling in love with you too.” “Really?” He looked at me hopefully. “You are?” “Of course,” I said as I squeezed his hand tighter. Wade looked down at my half-empty plate. “Are you done eating? I want to get back to my place.” He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. “Sure.” He motioned for the waiter and asked for the check. I tried to see what it had cost, but he carefully hid it from me. I was surprised when he pulled out two twenties and then told our waiter to “keep the change.” When we got to his car, he looked around the parking lot before leaning over and kissing me. “I want you inside me again,” he moaned as thrust his tongue inside my mouth. We stopped when a car pulled up beside us. The man inside gave us a disgusted look as he got out. “Asshole,” Wade muttered as he started the car and pulled away. When we stopped at a light, Wade reached over and once again placed his hands inside my shorts. My cock instantly hardened. I then reached over and started rubbing my hand over his erect cock. He stretched his body out so that I could feel him better. We continued to rub each other as he drove toward his house. Wade looked over at me and smiled. As he did so, he didn’t see the light ahead of us turn red. “Wade! Watch out!” The last thing I remember was the horrible grinding crunch of metal as our car collided in the intersection with another. ******** “Can you tell me where you’re hurting?” I could faintly hear the siren blaring above me. My eyes focused on a woman staring into my face. She put her hand to my eyelid and raised it, and then shined a light into it. I squinted and tried to close my eyes. I fought to sit up. “Wade!” I began shouting, looking wildly around the ambulance for him. “Lie back,” she said soothingly as she pushed gently on my shoulder. “Where’s Wade?” I screamed as I tried to sit back up. “You must lie still or we’ll have to sedate you,” she warned. “Where’s my friend?” I pleaded as I laid my head back. “Is he all right?” I looked into her face trying to find and answer, but she turned and began adjusting the monitors behind me. I grabbed her sleeve and tugged on it. “Tell me if he’s all right.” She turned and placed a syringe into the tube running into my arm. Within seconds, my world darkened. ******** I was awakened when I heard someone calling my name. “Richie?” The voice whispered as they gently tugged at my shoulder. “Can you hear me?” Again, I batted my eyes and focused on a man in a white jacket. He had a stethoscope around his neck, so I assumed he was a doctor. As I became more alert, it was obvious that I was in the emergency ward of a hospital. “Richie?” The voice asked again. “Can you tell me where you hurt?” I looked down at my body which was wrapped tightly in a white sheet. I moved my hands and then my feet. “Excellent,” the voice said. I winced when he touched the side of my head. “Did that hurt?” He asked as he ran his hand over the side of my head. Again, I winced and nodded. I turned when the door opened, and two more people entered the room. They were dressed in the same white jackets as the man above me, so I assumed they too were doctors. “Is he alert?” A woman who appeared to be about forty asked. She walked over and looked at the side of my head. “I’m Dr. Austen.” She leaned in and examined my head closely. I yelled out in pain when she pushed on the side of my head. “I’m sorry,” she said. “But this is necessary so I can see how badly you’re hurt.” She held up two fingers. “How many fingers do you see?” “Two.” “Do you know what year this is?” “2009.” “Who is the president?” I had to think for a moment. “I didn’t pay much attention in school. Is it George Bush?” She looked down and smiled. “You should have stayed awake.” She turned to the other doctors. “I think he’s going to be all right.” “What’s wrong with me?” She turned back and looked down. “You received a pretty bad concussion when your head hit the window.” She patted my hand. “You’re a very lucky boy.” “What about my friend?” The smile on her face vanished. I didn’t need to be told. “Someone will be in shortly to talk to you,” she said sadly as she stepped over to the other doctors. They turned out the light as they exited the room. Silent tears started to flow down my cheeks. Wade was dead. Moments later, a nurse walked in and gave me a shot. Again, my world went black. ******** The next time I awoke, my Aunt Barbara was calling my name. “Richie?” I felt her squeezing my hand tightly. I opened my eyes and saw Uncle Ray, Dr. Austen and a stranger standing against the wall. “Can you hear me, Richie?” I turned my head away from her. I wanted everyone to go away. I wanted to be left alone. I remembered the accident, the grinding of metal and the scream of Wade echoed in my ears. “Richie!” Then silence. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to hear the words. I wanted people to go away and leave me alone. I wanted it to have been me instead. First my shoulders started to tremble. Then my body began to shake uncontrollably. Aunt Barbara reached down and pulled me into her, and I felt Uncle Ray wrap his strong arms around me. “NO!!!!!” It started from my mouth as a low moan. Soon a wailing, mournful shout could be heard throughout the floor. Dr. Austen rushed over and administered another shot into my arm. Darkness once again. ******** When I awoke, I was alone in my hospital room. I sat up and looked around. There was a tube running into my arm, and the blue monitor to my side was making a beeping sound. For the first time since arriving, I felt that I was alert and aware of what was going on. The tragic accident came rushing back to me. I could remember Wade fondling my erection inside my shorts. I remembered screaming when I saw the red light above, and I shuddered when I recalled Wade shouting my name. And I remembered in a split second a large SUV ramming the driver’s side of the car. Then I could recall was my body being hurled into the window. I had blurry images of Wade’s body leaning over the steering wheel. Blood covered his face as he lay motionless. I could also remember the excruciating pain on the right side of my head, and the warm blood that flowed down the side of my face. And I remember calling out Wade’s name, but he didn’t respond. When I touched his body, he dropped to the side and his head fell over into my lap. I knew then that my first love was dead. Medics had to use the jaws of life to remove our bodies from the car. As I drifted in and out of consciousness, I could hear the whirring of the blades and the urgent screams as they tried to rip open the car. They kept asking me where I was hurting, but not once did they ask Wade. He was dead. When they managed to tear off the roof of the car and carefully remove me, they left Wade’s body behind. He was dead. And now I lay alone in a sterile hospital bed while he lay somewhere in a cold storage shelf inside a morgue. Why couldn’t it have been me? Wade loved life. He made living fun. He had for a brief moment lifted me from my depression and gave me a reason to live. And now he was dead, and it should have been me. I again had no reason to live. I turned my head away from the door when it was pushed open. I didn’t want the person to see my tears. But when I put my hand to my face to wipe them away, there were none. I had no more tears to give. “Good morning, Richie.” A sweet voice sang out my name. “How are you feeling today?” She came around the bed and looked down at me. She then lifted my body and placed me back onto the pillows. “Are you comfortable?” she asked as she continued to inspect the monitor beside me. “Is there anything you need?” “I gotta pee,” I responded angrily. It felt as if my bladder was full and I didn’t think I could hold it much longer. “I’m sure you do,” she replied as she opened a cabinet and then handed me a plastic urinal. “I’m not peeing into that,” I insisted as I started to sit up. “Help me out of bed.” “You can’t get out of bed yet,” she warned as she looked down at my arm. “You’ve got an IV hooked up to you.” I reached down and pulled the tube from my arm. A searing pain shot up my arm as I yelled out, “Well, it’s not now!” An alarmed look appeared on her face. “Oh, Dear!” she exclaimed. “I’ve got to go get some help!” When she ran from the room, I crawled out of bed and stumbled across the floor to the bathroom. As I did, I saw myself in the mirror. My face was white and gaunt. The side of my head was shaved, and there was a dark bruise with a large bulge protruding from my skull. My right eye was also black and swollen. I touched it and winced in pain. “There he is!” I heard the nurse shout. I looked over as a male doctor entered and rushed over to me. “You need to return to bed!” he shouted. “You’re going to cause more damage.” “I don’t care!” I shouted back as I entered the bathroom, opened my gown and started to piss. He held my arm and steadied me as I relieved myself. When I was done, he helped me from the bathroom and back into bed. “That was a foolish thing to do, Young Man!” he admonished me as he pushed the IV back into my arm. Again, I winced in pain. “Do you think I give a damn?” “Maybe you don’t care,” he replied, “but there are a lot of other people who do.” I started laughing. “Yeah, right, everyone cares about poor Richie Ferguson.” When he was done, I watched as he inserted a needle into my arm. Darkness again. ******** I was sitting up in my bed the next morning nibbling on some toast. The nurse had earlier brought me breakfast. The eggs looked dry and the bacon was overcooked. The orange juice felt refreshing as it went down my throat. An aide had even brought me another glass when she saw how I had quickly drunk the first glass. Aunt Barbara and Uncle Ray had come to visit the night before, but I lay with my eyes closed pretending like I was asleep. They must have sat for several hours without saying a word before finally kissing me on my forehead and leaving. The IV had also been removed from my arm. I guess the nurse didn’t want to deal with me having to go to the bathroom again. I was startled when the door was pushed opened and two men dressed in suits entered. My eyes narrowed in anger when he walked in behind them and stood against the wall. One of the men was extremely tall. He must have stood over 6’5”. I was frightened by his appearance. He looked mean. He walked over and looked down menacingly at me. The other man was shorter and looked friendlier. He smiled as he spoke. “I’m Detective Owens.” He extended his hand, but I refused to shake it. He pointed to the tall man beside him. “This is Detective Burress.” I looked over at him. His arms were crossed, and he had a frown on his face. I then looked back at Detective Owens. “What’s going on?” The taller detective stepped back beside him as Owens came closer to my side. “I know this is going to be difficult for you, but I’ve got to ask you some questions about the accident.” I looked back over at him. “I don’t have anything to tell you.” “Richie,” insisted Detective Owens as he touched my arm. “You’ve got to tell me what you know. Two people died in that accident. You’re the only one who knows what happened.” I sat up and stared into Owen’s face. “I told you I don’t remember anything.” “Richard,” he said from the side. “You’ve got to tell Detective Owens what you know. This is very serious. Because you were in a stolen car, you could be in serious trouble.” I stared at him defiantly, and then rested my head back on the pillow. “I don’t know nothing,” I muttered as I closed my eyes. He walked over and grabbed me by my shoulders, lifting me from the bed. “Richard!” he shouted. “What happened in that car? Why did that young man run a red light?” I looked into his concerned face and started laughing. Laughing. The situation seemed absurd. He was treating me as if I was a criminal. I wasn’t his son. He was working, and I was no more than someone he had to interrogate about a crime. He gave me a puzzled look and then stepped away from the bed. I saw my opportunity to finally humiliate him-to make him hate me. I turned back to Owens. “You want to know what happened?” I shouted as I sat up in bed. He took a pad and pen from his suit pocket and waited for me to continue. “Write this down!” I spat angrily as I looked over at him. “The great detective Richard Ferguson has a fag son!” His eyes narrowed in anger. I looked back over at Owens. “Yeah,” I said. “A flaming, screaming fag! And you know what else?” Owens had an astonished look on his face. He quickly glanced over at him and then back to me. “The driver of the car was my boyfriend. He had a name. He wasn’t a young man. His name was Wade!” “Owens!” he shouted. “Stop this questioning now!” “Oh no, Father!” I hissed angrily. “You wanted to know what happened, I’ll tell you. Wade and I were going back to his place to fuck!” “Shut up, Richard!” He moved toward me, but the tall detective stopped him. “He had his hands down my pants!” I shouted. “That’s why he didn’t see the light turn red.” “Richard!” He screamed as the detective held him back. “He was going to fuck me, Father!” I shouted louder. “We were lovers, and he was going to fuck me!” Owens turned to Burress, “Get him out of here!” I watched as he leaned back against the wall. He would have fallen to the ground had the tall detective not grabbed him by the shoulders. Before leaving, he turned and stared at me. I tried to read his reaction, but I couldn’t. It didn’t look like anger. He looked...sad. I rested my head back against the pillow and closed my eyes. I had finally won. Then why did I feel so bad?
  6. Ronyx

    Chapter 8

    When Wade pulled away, his face was streaked with tears. He looked so cute with his eyes full of tears- tears for me. He smiled and then reached down and grabbed my hand. “Come on,” he said as he dragged me back to the car he was driving. “Is this your car?” I looked around at the messy interior. Paper and pop cans littered the floor. I also noticed that the steering column had been broken and it appeared the car had been hot-wired. “Naw,” he replied. “It’s a friend’s car. He lets me borrow it occasionally.” “Well, then,” I looked at the wires hanging out from under the steering wheel. “Is it his car?” “Dunno,” he said as we pulled away. We drove silently, and it appeared we were heading to his house. I became nervous when a police car turned from an intersection and followed us for several blocks. I let out a sigh of relief when the cruiser finally pulled into the parking lot of a strip mall. “Relax,” giggled Wade when he saw my nervous reaction. “I’m a good driver. Nothing is going to happen.” “But you’re only fifteen!” I replied excitedly. “A mere technicality,” he laughed. “Besides, I’m a lot better than an eighty-year old woman.” “But she at least has a valid driver’s license,” I reminded him. He started giggling again. “A mere technicality.” He parked about a block from his house. As soon as we entered his back door, he threw himself on me and began kissing me passionately. “I’m so sorry, Richie,” he said between kisses. “All night I kept thinking about how much I hurt you.” “It’s okay,” I replied as I looked into his tearful eyes. “Really. It’s not like we’re a couple or anything.” He grabbed my hands and held them. “But I want us to be,” he replied. “I’ve thought a lot about this. I want us to be a couple.” I started laughing when he got down on one knee and looked pleadingly at me. “Please marry me, Richie.” “Idiot,” I laughed as I pulled him up. “One, we’re only fifteen. I think you have to be at least eighteen. And two, gay marriage is not legal in the state we live in.” “Mere technicalities,” he said as he got up and hugged me. “Then how about we go steady?” I again started laughing. “How about we just be best friends with benefits?” “That will work,” he grinned as he pulled me into his room. “I’m ready for a benefit now.” He removed his shirt and tossed it in the floor. Minutes later we were naked on his bed. He straddled me, grabbed my hard cock and placed it against his ass. “I want you to fuck me, Richie. I want to be all yours.” “I don’t know,” I replied hesitantly. “I’ve never done anything like this before.” “That’s just it,” he said as he leaned in and kissed me. “I’ll be your first.” He jumped from the bed and got a condom from the dresser. After stretching it over my erection, he sat atop me and I felt it enter a couple of inches. He stopped and looked down at me. “Let me get used to it,” he said as he kissed me again. “I love you.” After a minute he sat back up and looked lovingly at me. He then sat back until my entire cock penetrated him. “Ummmm,” I moaned. He smiled and started to move up and down on my stiff cock. “It feels so good, Richie!” he cooed. “This is the first time I’ve done it with someone I love.” I grabbed his small waist and forced myself deeper into him. “I love you, too,” I moaned as his movements met mine. “God, Wade!” My eyes rolled into the back of my head. “This feels so amazing!” “Yeah,” he said as he leaned in and kissed me. Suddenly, I felt my balls begin to tighten. I knew I wouldn’t last much longer. “I’m going to cum,” I warned him as I tried to pull myself out. He pressed down and my cock entered him even deeper. “Arrgggg!” I screamed as I shot deep inside him. He reached down and started masturbating. Within seconds he let out a purring sound as he erupted on my chest. I could feel his muscles contracting around my cock as I shot my last drops of cum inside him. I wrapped my arms around him when he collapsed onto me. He buried his head against my neck, and I could feel his heart pounding against my chest. “God, Ritchie,” he mumbled. “That was fantastic!” I turned my head and gently kissed him on his neck. He moved his head so that our lips met in a passionate kiss. I felt my softening cock pull out of his ass. “You sure we can’t get married?” he asked as he stayed pressed against my body. “I want to do this with you all the time.” I laughed, “I think marriage is more than just sex.” “Mere technicality,” he mumbled. We lay in each other’s arms for about ten minutes before he finally pulled away. “I have to piss,” he announced as he jumped from the bed. I laughed when he grabbed his ass and ran into the bathroom. “I gotta shit, too!” he shouted as he closed the door. While he was gone, I lay thinking what had just happened. For the first time in my life, I had told someone other than my mother that I loved them. I wasn’t even sure he had heard me say it. I knew we were too young to really be involved with each other. His actions with Doug made me apprehensive that he could truly devote himself to someone. But I had decided that I would give it a try and see where it might lead. I just had to be careful. So much had happened the past year, and I knew I wasn’t ready for any more emotional roller coasters. “Hey,” he said as he lay back down beside me. “You all right?” “Yeah,” I said as I pulled him on top of me. “Never better.” He rose and turned until we were in a 69 position. He took my cock and started licking it. When he put his against my lips, I opened my mouth and engulfed it. He let out a little whimper. Twenty minutes later we were lying comfortably asleep in each other’s arms. ******** It was late when I entered the house through the back door. He was sitting at the island counter reading the newspaper. He looked up angrily when I walked through the door. “Sit down, Richard,” he ordered. I crossed my arms and remained standing by the door. He got up and walked over to me. I flinched and closed my eyes when he raised his hand out to me. “Give me your phone.” I opened my eyes. “What?” “Stupid. Now you’re deaf, too,” he replied angrily. “I said hand me your phone.” I looked at him. His eyes narrowed in anger. I reached into my pocket and fumbled around before sheepishly saying, “I set it down at school and someone took it.” He started pacing around the room. “I spend two hundred dollars on a goddamned phone for you, and you have the tenacity to tell me you were so irresponsible?” I looked at him wide-eyed. There was no way I could tell him I traded it for some weed. “Well?” I jumped when he shouted. “Nooo,” I stammered. He reached in his suit coat pocket and pulled out my phone. “Would you like to know how I got it?” Again, I stood silent. “Let me tell you,” he shouted angrily as he shoved the phone into my chest. “An officer took it off a guy who held up a carryout this morning. When he ran the serial number, it came back as belonging to me.” He shoved the phone into my chest again. “Now would you like to tell me how a robber had your phone in his pocket?” “I told you I don’t know,” I lied as I tried to make my way past him. “It got stolen at school.” He grabbed my arm and turned me roughly around. “I’ve had it with you, Richie.” He stared down angrily at me as he twisted my arm tighter. “Then let me go live with Aunt Barbara and Uncle Ray!” I yelled. His eyes grew angrier. “Never!” he muttered as he threw me back against the kitchen counter. I stumbled but managed to catch myself before I fell. “I know what you’re trying to do,” he said. A grin appeared on his face. “I’ve dealt with some of the hardest bad asses in this town.” He moved closer to me and looked down threateningly. “If I can deal with them, then I think I can deal with you.” “We’ll see,” I replied as I pushed past him and headed downstairs. I could hear him laughing as I descended the stairs. I was lying on the sofa doing homework when I saw a pair of familiar legs coming downstairs. I didn’t say anything as he walked over to my computer and sat down. “What happened to your keyboard?” Gabe looked around to see if he could find it. “It won’t do you any good,” I said. “He took it the other day.” “How are we going to play a game on it?” I shrugged my shoulders. “Go upstairs and ask him for it back then.” “Wait here,” he said as he got up and bounded up the stairs. I was surprised when he returned a few minutes later with it tucked safely under his arm. “Tada!” He beamed as he walked over to my computer and plugged it back in. “How the hell did you do that?” I sat up and looked astonishingly at him. “I just asked nicely,” he replied. “You should try it.” “Yeah, sure,” I replied as I lay back down and continued finishing an algebra problem. “Wanna play a game?” “Why?” I asked. “I thought I was on your shit list.” “You are,” he responded. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t beat you in a game.” I walked over to the television and took out the Xbox controls. “I’d rather play here,” I said as I sat down and crossed my legs. Gabe sat down beside me. We then started playing an intense game of Grand Theft Auto. Several times I would look over at him, but he kept his eyes glued to the game. After he beat me, he put down the control and looked over. “So, just when were you going to tell me?” Our eyes met and he looked hurt. I quickly looked away. “Someday I guess,” I mumbled. “Look, Richie.” He turned toward me, and I could see tears in his eyes. “I’m your best friend. You could have trusted me.” “It’s not that easy,” I turned to face him. “I know I could trust you. And there were a hundred times I felt like telling you.” “Then why didn’t you?” “I don’t know,” I said as tears welled up in my eyes. “Do you know what it’s like to wake up one day and realize you’re gay?” He looked at me and shook his head. “Yeah, right. I guess not.” I couldn’t hold back the tears. They started to flow down my cheek. “You look around and the whole world seems different than you. You know? All the guys are starting to talk about girls, and you don’t see them that way. Then you turn on the television and many of the programs are about guys trying to get a girl to like them, or it’s about a family with kids. It seems like the whole world is straight.” “But you...” I interrupted Gabe. “Do you think I want to be gay?” I laughed nervously. “I’d give anything to be like you. You’re going to grow up and get married.” I looked at him and smiled. “And have little Gaberiel Dysons.” He rolled his eyes. I wiped tears away with my sleeve. “And what will I have?” He looked at me and shook his head. “Don’t, Richie.” “Fucking nothing,” I cried. “If I’m lucky maybe some guy will want to screw me until he gets tired of me.” I fell forward into his arms and wept. “And you wondered why I couldn’t tell you.” I could feel his body shaking with emotion as he clung to me. “It won’t be like that, Rich,” he said as he held me. “You’re a great guy. Someone will come along.” “Sure,” I said. “Someday you’ll meet a girl and get married.” He looked at me and rolled his eyes again. “I don’t think that’s going to happen to me.” “You never know,” he said. I started smiling when I remembered Wade getting down on his knee and proposing to me. “What’s so funny?” Gabe gave me a puzzle look. “Nothing,” I said. “I was just thinking about something that happened today.” He moved closer to me until our bodies were touching. “Look, Richie,” he said. “The other day you told me you loved me.” I nodded my head. “I thought about that a lot that night. And I realized that there’s a real bond between us. I love you too. I always will.” I started laughing. “Give me a little time and I’ll probably change your mind.” He opened his arms to me. “Come here.” I leaned forward and hugged him tightly. “Thanks, Gabe,” I said tearfully. “I really needed this.” He squeezed me tighter. ******** Gabe met me outside on the sidewalk the next morning. “You’re late,” he remarked as he looked at his watch. “I am not,” I laughed. “You are or you would have come in.” I noticed Gabe look behind me. I turned to see what he was looking at. Freddy had come out of the front door with his book bag slung over his shoulder. He walked up to us, but he said nothing. It was Gabe who spoke first. “How do you like Highland?” Freddy looked briefly at me and then at Gabe. “It’s all right,” he answered. “It’s school. Isn’t it written somewhere that all schools suck?” Gabe laughed and then he walked over and threw his arm around Freddy’s shoulder. “I like this guy,” he said to me. I rolled my eyes and looked up the street for the bus to arrive. Gabe and Freddy chatted until the yellow bus came rolling to a stop. They acted like they had known each other since the first grade. That is Gabe. No one is a stranger when he is around. I used to tease him that he could get a mime to talk to him. It irritated me when Gabe sat down toward the back of the bus and pulled Freddy beside him. I started to take the seat behind them, but he reached out and pulled my pants leg. “There’s room for the three of us,” he said as he scooted nearer the window. Freddy looked up at me and then scooter closer to Gabe. I looked at Gabe, rolled my eye and sat down. He smiled and started laughing. I tried not to rub my body against Freddy’s, but if I didn’t, I could feel myself slipping out of my seat. It was bad enough that the three of us were crowded into a seat when there were plenty of empty ones. It would be worse if I fell onto the floor. As they had at the bus stop, Gabe talked non-stop. He kept asking Freddy questions. Most were about school. The usual ones- what classes did he take, who were his teachers, was he a good student and did he participate in any sports. I acted like I wasn’t listening, but I was learning a lot about Freddy. Even though he was athletic looking, he didn’t play sports. He said he had played some football in junior high school, but he had to quit the team when they moved away. He ignored Gabe when he asked him what happened. “You should run track!” Gabe suggested excitedly. “You’ve got the build for it.” I glanced at Gabe and shook my head. He had used the same line on me. When I showed up for try-outs last spring, the coach had me attempt to run the 100m hurdles. After tripping over the first two hurdles and landing on my face, I decided that track wasn’t my sport. Freddy shrugged his shoulders and responded, “We’ll see.” I also learned that he liked reading science fiction and Harry Potter books. I already knew that Gabe was a huge Potter fan, so this led to another conversation that lasted until we arrived at school. When we got off the bus, Gabe invited Freddy to join us at lunch. “I won’t be there,” I said quickly. I remembered the tension at the table the day before when I had to get up and leave because the guys didn’t want a gay boy sitting with them. They definitely wouldn’t want two; that is, if Freddy was even gay. Gabe had never mentioned girls or dating to him. I wasn’t sure if he was intentionally avoiding the subject or if he was too busy talking about other things. He walked over and threw his arm around my shoulder. “It’s okay, Richie,” he assured me. “We talked after you left yesterday and everyone is cool with it.” “With what?” Freddy gave me a puzzled look. “His hair,” Gabe said quickly. “He thought the guys were teasing him about his new haircut.” Freddy scanned my body before looking at my shorn hair. “I think it looks good,” he remarked. Gabe closely watched Freddy’s eye movements. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow as my face reddened. “I got to get to class,” I announced nervously. Freddy looked at his watch, “Me, too,” he said as he started to walk away. “Catch you guys later.” Gabe watched him walk away and then turned to me. “Jesus, Richie!” he said excitedly. “Freddy’s into you!” “Shut up, Gabe,” I muttered as I started to walk away. Gabe grabbed my shoulder and turned me. “Did you see how he looked at you? He practically undressed you right here on the sidewalk.” “Well, I’m not interested,” I insisted. “Even if I was, he still is the son of that whore.” “Damn, Richie. You need to get over that shit.” I gave him an angry look. “Well I’m not.” “Sorry,” he said as he threw his arm around me and we headed into the building. “We still got to find you a boyfriend.” Before I realized what I was saying, the words “I already got one,” came flying from my mouth. Gabe stopped and stood before me. “No shit?” he asked excitedly. “Really? Who?” My face reddened when I saw his excitement. I didn’t want him to know about Wade yet. I wanted to see where our relationship was going before I told him. “I was just shitting you,” I replied, hoping he’d buy it. “No, you weren’t, Richie,” he said. “I’ve known you too long. Tell me who he is.” When I didn’t respond his expression changed from excitement to anger. “It’s that Wade guy, isn’t it?” “What if it is?” I replied angrily. I removed his hand from my shoulder and started to walk away. Gabe ran up beside me. “What are you doing with him? He’s bad news.” I wasn’t in the mood to argue with Gabe again. After all, we had just made up from an earlier argument involving Wade. I shook my head, turned and walked away from him. ******** On the way to third period I spotted Becky walking down the hall talking to Jeff Murdock. When she saw me looking at them, she reached down and took his hand. She hadn’t even waited a day to move on and forget about me. Lunch didn’t go much better. As soon as I walked into the cafeteria, I saw Freddy sitting at the table beside Gabe. All the seats had been taken. I guess Freddy had now taken my spot. Oh well, fuck it. I walked out, went outside and sat in the quad area. “There you are.” I heard a familiar voice behind me. I turned as Wade came running up. “I’ve been looking all over for you.” “Hey.” I couldn’t help but smile. Wade’s presence always seemed to cheer me up. If only they could bottle his energy. A drug manufacturer could make millions. “Did you eat yet?” he asked as he sat down beside me. “Naw,” I replied. “I’m not very hungry.” Just then my stomach started growling. Wade listened and then began giggling. He reached down and took my hand. “Let’s ditch this place and go get something to eat.” I pulled my hand from his. Even though other students now knew I was gay, I didn’t feel comfortable walking around school holding another boy’s hand. “Where do you want to go?” “Depends,” he said. “How much money do you have on you?” I reached into my pocket, pulled out some change and counted it. “Seventy-eight cents.” “Is that all?” “Yeah,” I said. “I use a cafeteria card to eat lunch. How much do you have?” “Seventy-eight cents,” he giggled as he took the change from my hand. I looked at him and frowned. “We can’t even get two hamburgers at McDonald’s on that.” “I got a plan.” He looked at me with a wicked grin. “Oh, no!” I moaned. “Is this going to involve us getting our asses shot at again?” “Naw,” he laughed. “Well, maybe.” “Shit!” I exclaimed. Wade draped his arm around my shoulder and led me to the car he had been driving the day before.
  7. Ronyx

    Chapter 7

    “What are you doing here?” Stephen looked at me with a surprised expressed. Doug looked back and forth at us. “Do you two know each other?” “He dates my sister,” Stephen replied. Without looking over, I could tell that Wade was curious about our exchange. I had never mentioned Becky to him. “I don’t date her,” I insisted. “We just go out.” “Not to hear her tell it,” he started to laugh. “She practically has the two of you married.” He looked down at Wade and grinned “I guess that’s never going to happen.” My face began to redden. The last thing I expected for the evening was to be outed to someone I knew. “Well yes, Darling.” Doug started to pull Stephen away. “Let me introduce you to a few other people. If we’re lucky, you won’t know them.” He grabbed Stephen’s hand and led him away. “Shit,” I hissed under my breath. Wade looked over. “I’m screwed.” “You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend.” I looked at him and rolled my eyes. “I don’t have a girlfriend,” I insisted. “I only date her to make people think...” I stopped when I realized how awful my reply would sound. Wade started giggling. “I know a lot of guys who have girlfriends as a cover.” “I don’t have a girlfriend,” I insisted angrily. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “Whatever you say,” he replied. He then leaned in and kissed me forcefully. When he reached down and squeezed my hardening cock in his hand, I didn’t push it away. The girl sitting beside us got up and walked away. I guess she didn’t want to watch our amorous display. After making out for several more minutes, Wade pulled a couple of joints from his pocket. “Let’s get a beer and go outside.” He got up and I followed him into the kitchen. I felt uncomfortable when Stephen looked over and grinned. We went out the back door and sat in two chairs. The backyard was dimly lit, but I could make out others sitting around. Most seemed to be talking quietly. Occasionally, the end of a joint would light up and then I would watch as it was passed to the next person. “Here.” Wade leaned towards me. “Let’s do a shotgun.” “What’s that?” He took a deep draw from the joint and then pressed his lips to mine. I could feel him begin to exhale the smoke from his mouth into mine. I inhaled it deeply before releasing it. “Your turn,” he said as he passed me the joint. I mimicked what he had done. Not only was I getting very high, I was also getting extremely aroused. I looked down at his pants and it was obvious Wade was also. When we finished, he drank what remained of his beer and announced he was going to get us another. “Wait here,” he said as he started to teeter off. I giggled as I watched him bump his shoulder into the door. I rested my head and closed my eyes. For some reason the marijuana we were smoking had a different effect than the previous night. I must have fallen asleep for a few minutes before a burst of laughter woke me up. I looked over and watched as a group of guys encouraged a girl to pull down her halter top and show them her breasts. I got up and stumbled back toward the house. As I was getting ready to enter, Stephen met me. “Hey, Richie.” He grabbed my arm and led me back outside. “Are you having a good time?” “Where’s Wade?” I asked as I tried to move around him, but he took a step to the side and prevented me from passing. “Don’t worry about Wade,” he replied as he pushed me against the side of the house. He put out his arms as he attempted to pin me. He then leaned in to kiss me. “I didn’t know you were into guys,” he said lustily. “If I had known, I’d have made a move on you a long time ago.” I could smell alcohol on his breath as he leaned for a kiss. “Stop it!” I shouted as I attempted to duck down under his outstretched arms. He pulled me back and pinned me to the wall. “Come on, Richie,” He said as he leaned in to kiss me once again. “It’s only a little kiss.” When his lips touched mine, I lifted my knee and hit him in his crotch. He jumped back and let out a moan. “You fucker!” he screamed. He lifted his hand to hit me, but I grabbed it and held tightly onto it. “I’ll fucking kill you, you little faggot!” I kneed him again. When he bent over in pain, I tore off inside the house. I ran through the rooms looking for Wade. When I didn’t find him downstairs, I ran up the stairs and began looking in the upstairs rooms. When I came to the last room, the door was closed. I quickly opened it. My heart dropped when I saw what was happening before me on the bed. Wade was lying naked on his back with his knees pulled back to his shoulders. Doug was on top of him, holding Wade’s legs and thrusting his cock into his ass. They looked over when the light from the hallway rushed in. Doug grinned as he continued to ram his hard cock into Wade. Wade opened his eyes and I could tell he was completely wasted. He started smiling and slurred, “Hey, Baby.” He patted the side of the bed. “Why don’t you get naked and join us? Doug’s a great fuck.” I stood in shock, unable to move. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Wade was the first boy I had ever had sex with. I was beginning to like him. And now this. I turned when I heard footsteps stomping up the steps. It was Stephen. He ran towards me, but I was able to run around him. He stumbled and fell into the open doorway. “I’ll get even with you, Bitch!” he screamed as he lay on the floor. When he started to rise, I bounded down the steps and out the front door. Once on the street, I looked back. No one had followed me out. I then began the long, solitary walk home. ******** I reached into my pocket for my phone, but then I remembered I had given it to Wade to buy weed for the party. Party? Yeah, right. I thought you were supposed to have fun at parties. I didn’t know they were supposed to fuck your life up more than it already was. I pulled my shirt collar over my neck. The wind was picking up and it was getting colder. When I reached Elm Street which led to our house, I turned right and headed away from my home. I wasn’t ready to go back and face him yet. I knew it was late and he would be waiting up for me. Instead, I walked down Elm until I came to Broad Street. I then turned left and headed out of town. It took me about forty minutes to arrive at my destination. The moon was shining brightly over the hillside. The top of the tombstones glistened from the lighted sky. I trudged my way around the narrow path until I saw a mound of flowers. As I made my way toward the grave, the pink arrangement was wilting. When I saw the word, Mommy, formed by the white carnations, I fell to the ground and started wailing. “Why?” I screamed as I tore the white flowers off and tossed them to the side. “Why did you leave us?” I reached for the arrangement and scooped it up into my arms. “I don’t know what to do anymore!” I buried my head into the wilted flowers and sobbed uncontrollably. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this!” I cried. “You were supposed to be here to help us!” My shoulders trembled as I lay crying. I pushed some ground aside. “I don’t want to live anymore if you’re not here.” I lost all control. I screamed. I wailed. I tore the flowers atop the mound of dirt and threw them into the air, cursing a cruel God. I must have cried for an hour before my body tired and I lay still upon my mother’s grave. “I’m sorry, Mommy,” I cried. I thought back to the events of the past few days and felt ashamed. “I’m sorry I’m not the nice boy you wanted me to be.” My head rested upon a soft mound of dirt and I fell asleep, still clutching the arrangement that said Mommy. I awoke when a light rain started falling on me. Soon it became a torrent. I sat up and rearranged the flowers atop the grave before leaning down and kissing the wet dirt. “I love you, Mommy,” I whispered. I brushed the dirt from my mouth and then stood. The sun was coming up over the horizon so I knew that it was early morning. He would be angry. ******** I trudged home in the pouring rain. I walked up to the front door but then remembered he had changed the locks. I went around to the back hoping I would find the door unlocked. She was sitting at the counter drinking coffee. She jumped to her feet when she saw me shaking from the cold on the deck outside. “Oh, Dear!” she exclaimed as she opened the sliding glass door, grabbed me by my shoulders and led me into the kitchen. “Richard!” She screamed out his name before I could stop her. I turned and saw Freddy run into the room. Then he appeared in the doorway. “Where the hell have you been?” he shouted. He ran over and grabbed me by my shoulders and started shaking me. “Are you just now getting in?” He looked at the clock on the wall. “It’s after nine!” “Stop it, Richard!” she shouted as she pulled me from him and wrapped her arms around me. “Can’t you see the boy is sick?” “Sick my ass,” he huffed. “He’s fucking drunk!” He grabbed me from her and yanked at my collar. I looked past him and saw Freddy still standing off to the side. “I’m going to ask you one last time, where have you been all night?” I looked over at her and started laughing. I then turned to him and grinned. “I’ve been fucking your whore all night. Didn’t she tell you?” His face went from red to redder. He picked me up by my collar and tossed me across the room. I landed against a stool and fell to the floor. Even though I was in immense pain, I couldn’t stop laughing. I looked up at his enraged face. “Did she tell you I was a better fuck than you?” He reached down, grabbed me by my arm and tossed me against the refrigerator. A crock pot sitting on top of it fell off and hit me on my shoulder. He grabbed me again and tossed me through the screen door. I fell to the deck floor outside. “Stop it!” She screamed as she raced to him and tried to stop him from approaching me. Freddy ran over and stood in front of him, but he tossed him aside. “It’s time you stopped acting like a spoiled brat!” He picked me up from the deck and tossed me into the pool. When I swam to the side of the pool, he lifted his foot to kick me in my face. “Richard!” she screamed. I looked over as Freddy handed her a cell phone. “I’m going to call the police!” “I am the goddamned police!” She walked over and stepped between him and me. “I’m serious, Richard!” She opened the phone. “If you touch him again, I’ll have you arrested!” He looked down at me. Hatred filled his face. I stared back defiantly at him before he turned and stormed into the house. She ran over to her son. “Help Richie out of the pool and get him downstairs. Hurry!” Freddy reached down, offered me his hand and pulled me from the water. “When you get downstairs,” she said urgently, “lock the door.” He nodded and then led me away. Once downstairs, he locked the door and led me to the bathroom. “Get undressed,” he ordered. When I pulled my shirt over my head, he left. I could hear him shouting upstairs. Even though their words were muted, I could tell she was trying to prevent him from coming downstairs. I removed my clothing and stood naked in front of the full-length mirror. Several bruises were beginning to appear on my sides. I also had a deep scratch on my neck where the crock pot had hit me. Suddenly, Freddy opened the door and peered in. His eyes widened when he saw me standing naked in the middle of the bathroom. His gaze fell to my cock. After a few seconds, he looked back up to my face. “Are you all right?” he stammered nervously. “Yeah,” I replied sarcastically as I turned and examined the bruises. “Why shouldn’t I be?” I didn’t even bother to cover my nakedness. He tried to look me in my face, but his eyes would drop to my cock. He cleared his throat. “If you need anything, I’ll be just outside the door.” I nodded, and he slowly closed the door without taking his eyes off my body. I turned on the water and stood under the hot shower. No matter how hard I tried to wash away the sorrow I was feeling, it just kept getting stronger. My body started trembling and I fell against the shower wall. My body went limp and I felt my back sliding down the side of the shower. I curled myself into a ball and started crying. A few minutes later, I felt an arm wrap around my body and lift me to my feet. Freddy had come into the shower in his clothes. He held me tightly as he led me into the family room. He went back, grabbed a towel and handed it to me. When I refused to take it, he started to wipe the water from my body. I was numb. It seemed like my mind had stopped working. I just stood unemotionally as he gently ran the towel over my body until I was dry. He then helped me into a pair of pajamas and placed me on the sofa. I curled into a ball as he pulled the covers over me, turned out the light and sat down in a chair across the room. Within seconds, I was asleep. ******** I wasn’t sure how long I had been asleep when I felt someone sit down beside me on the sofa. I slowly opened my eyes and saw my aunt looking worriedly down at me. Freddy was still sitting in the chair across the room with the same worried look on his face. “Richie?” My aunt leaned in and kissed me gently on my forehead. “I want you to come home with me.” I sat up and looked hopefully at her. “Am I going there to stay?” She frowned and patted my hand. “No, Dear,” she replied sadly. “Your father wants you home by ten.” I looked at the clock. It was almost five. I had slept most of the day. I looked past Aunt Barbara as Freddy got up from the chair and stretched his body. He looked over at me and smiled slightly as he left the room. Aunt Barbara waited until he left. “His mother said he’s been down here all day keeping vigil. She couldn’t get him to come upstairs, not even for lunch.” I looked over and watched as his legs disappeared up the steps. I then looked into my aunt’s face. “Why can’t I come live with you? I can’t stand being here anymore.” She looked down and smiled. “Why don’t you get dressed and we’ll go home and discuss it.” I sat up and replied angrily. “You mean you’ll try and talk me into staying here and being a good, little boy. I suppose he called you and told you to talk to me.” She sighed. “It’s out of my hands, Richie. He is your father. He’s threatened to never let me and Ray see you ever again.” “Then you’ve done what he sent you here to do,” I said angrily as I lay back down and wrapped the blanket around me. “There’s no sense in me leaving if I only have to come back.” She sat and rubbed my back for a few minutes before she leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. “I’m sorry, Richie.” I could tell by the quiver in her voice she was crying. I knew she was only doing what she had to do to be able to visit us. She got up and left. A minute later Freddy returned to his vigilant seat across the room. After that I fell asleep and didn’t wake until the following morning. ******** I had a feeling the day was only going to get worse when Gabe didn’t show up to walk with me to school. He had managed to deal with my moods for several years, but now I think I had finally crossed the line. I felt bad for telling him to stay out of my life. He was the glue that had held my life together. At the time I felt he was making me chose between him and Wade. Now I realized I may have made the wrong decision. He was gone when I went upstairs. I always looked to see if he was in the kitchen before I went in to get something to eat. Andrew and Harley were sitting at the island giggling and throwing cereal at each other. Even though I was miserable with our new situation, he was happily enjoying his new, little brother. When he saw me standing in the doorway, he jumped off his stool, came running over and leaped into my arms. “Richie!” I squeezed him tightly and kissed his forehead. “How’s my little man?” “Linda is taking me and Harley to SwimWorld!” he said excitedly. “Do you want to go?” I frowned. “Shouldn’t you be going to school?” He looked at me and grinned. “Daddy says I don’t have to go back until next week.” My skin curled when I heard Andrew say ‘Daddy.’ My first instinct was to grab his hand and take him over to Aunt Barbara’s. Rage consumed me. But then I looked into his innocent face and I knew it wasn’t right for me to transfer my hatred for him to my little brother. If he was adjusting to mother’s death with the help of Harley and her, then how could I hurt him? The hatred I had was mine. His actions had been etched forever in bitterness and anger. Andrew was too young to understand. Maybe someday I could sit him down and make him understand why I couldn’t share his happiness. “So?” He looked hopefully at me. “Do you want to go?” I kissed him on his forehead and put him down on the floor. “No,” I smiled. “I go to big boys’ school. I can’t play hooky like you.” “I’m not playing hooky,” he giggled. “Daddy said I could stay home. That’s not playing hooky.” Again, my skin bristled at the word Daddy. I walked over to the counter and grabbed some toast and headed out the door. I looked to see if Gabe was waiting, but I knew he wasn’t. I began the long walk to school by myself. I entered the building and headed to my locker. As I was taking out the books I would need for my morning classes, a boy bumped into me and mumbled, “Fag.” I turned to see who it was, but the hall was crowded, and I didn’t see anyone I recognized. I closed my locker and headed to my first period class. On the way I passed Tiffany Jordan, Becky’s best friend. She looked at me and rolled her eyes. I stopped and watched her quickly walk away. I couldn’t understand what was going on. Several other students gave me strange looks as I made my way to class. It didn’t take me long to figure out what was happening when I entered Mrs. Livingstone’s class and Earl Buckman, one of the school’s openly gay students, sat down beside me. “Here.” He smiled as he handed me a folded piece of paper. “Call me.” He got up and took his seat. I unfolded the paper. It contained his cell phone number and the message, ‘Let’s hook up sometime. I think ur cute.’ I turned and looked back at him. My face reddened when he winked at me. I didn’t hear anything Mrs. Livingstone said. My mind was trying to figure out what was going on. First someone called me a fag, and then Tiffany rolled her eyes and ignored me. Now a gay student was hitting on me. The only thing I could think of was that Stephen had kept his promise to get even with me. He must have somehow started a rumor around school that I was gay. My assumption was confirmed when I saw Becky in the hall on the way to third period. She was walking with Tiffany and didn’t notice me approach. I walked up beside her and put my arm around her waist. She looked over angrily and pushed away from me. “Drop dead, Richie!” she exclaimed. Tiffany grabbed her arm and started to pull her down the hall. Becky stopped and said loudly, “Or would it be better to tell you to bend over?” My face reddened as students stopped and started giggling. I turned and hurried to my third period class. Several students snickered when I entered Mr. Bower’s history class. He politely asked me how I was doing as I headed to my assigned seat. I shrugged my shoulders and walked past him without answering. I sat down, pulled the hood to my jacket over my head and rested my head on the desk. I fell asleep when he started rambling on about the Founding Fathers attempt to form a government in America. I awoke when the bell rang. I looked down and saw a small puddle of drool on the desk. I looked around the room before wiping it off with my sleeve. I got up and headed to the cafeteria for lunch. After going through the line and getting my usual salad and carton of milk, I headed over to the table where Gabe and my friends were sitting. Gabe didn’t look up when I sat down. When I sat next to Buddy Taylor, he edged away from me. As I scanned the table, it was obvious they were all trying to ignore me. I stared at Gabe until he lifted his head and our eyes met. He attempted to smile but looked down at his food and continued to eat without looking up again. “Fuck it!” I mumbled as I pushed myself away from the table. I hurried from the cafeteria and walked out the building through a side door. I was two blocks from my house when a car slowed down behind me and the driver honked the horn. I looked over. It was Wade. He stopped and hollered out my name. “Richie! Wait up!” I quickened my pace as he drove slowly beside me. Finally, he sped up. I thought he was driving away until the brake lights came on and he stopped. He got out of the car, walked over to the sidewalk and waited for me to approach. “What do you want?” I asked angrily as I pushed past him. “Richie, please talk to me.” He ran around me and stood in front of me. “Please?” he pleaded. “There’s not much to talk about,” I insisted as I stepped past him and continued walking. “Look, Richie.” His voice quivered as he started to cry. “I’m really sorry. I fucked up,” he said as he walked about four feet behind me. “It’s just I get drunk and then I get horny,” he explained. “Me and Doug have messed around before. When he pulled me into the bedroom, I was too drunk to say no.” He grabbed my arm and turned me around. “I’m really sorry.” Tears were flowing down his cheeks. “I never meant for it to happen. Since I met you, things have been different.” I turned and started walking away, only this time not as quickly. He ran around in front of me, blocking my path. “I love you, Richie.” He wiped tears away from his eyes. “I’ve never said that to anyone.” He reached out, placed his head on my shoulder and sobbed. I kept my arms at my side, unsure what to do. When he whispered once again, “I love you,” I raised my arms and returned his embrace.
  8. @Thorn Wilde Hahaha. I guess I could have worded it differently.
  9. This is one of the most amazing stories I have ever read. A mother became the surrogate to her gay son and his husband's baby girl. He is the biological father, and his husband's sister donated the egg. A very heartwarming story! https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/grandma-gives-birth-61-gay-son-husband-can-baby-123844293.html
  10. Ronyx

    Chapter 6

    I was really angry when I left Gabe’s house. He was starting to sound like him. Who was Gabe to decide who I should be friends with? We’d been friends for years and not once had I ever criticized one of his friends. I mention meeting a new guy and he tells me he doesn’t think I should hang with him. Well, fuck him and everyone else. Before I knew it, I was standing before a white house with green shutters. I remembered Wade telling me the night before that he lived in the basement, and if I wanted him to tap on the window. I cautiously entered the backyard and came to the back door. I tapped a few times lightly and waited. When no one came to the door, I walked to a nearby basement window and tapped it a few times. A minute later the backdoor opened, and Wade was standing in the doorway in his underwear. I looked down and saw a very obvious bulge. He grinned when he saw me. “Hey,” he smiled as he grabbed his crotch and squeezed it. “I was just dreaming about you.” He squeezed his erection again and started laughing. “Come on in.” He stepped aside. When I walked past him, he reached out and grabbed my ass. He giggled as we made our way to the basement with his hand caressing my right cheek. When we got to the bottom, he moved around me and did a little dance around the room. “This is it,” he smiled. “What do you think?” “Um...” I hesitated. “Nice.” I looked around at the cluttered basement. Actually, it was more of a cellar. It was also very dark except for a tiny light by the twin bed in the corner. Water pipes and heating ducts ran across the low ceiling, and much of the plaster had fallen from the walls. It appeared that they had never been painted. I felt I was standing in a dungeon. “Okay,” he giggled. “It’s not the Hilton, but it’s all mine. My foster mom offered me a bedroom upstairs or this, I chose this. I can come and go when I want to.” He walked across the room, bending to pick up some dirty clothes and tossing them into a pile in the corner. “Come on.” He threw more clothes off the bed. “Have a seat.” I tiptoed across the floor, careful not to step on anything as I sat down on the side of the bed. Before I realized what was happening, he jumped into my lap and pushed me back on the bed. I could feel him grinding his cock against my stomach. “Did you miss me?” He grinned from above me. His cock was growing harder as he ground it into me. “See,” he giggled. “I missed you.” He then leaned in and kissed me. I was going to push him off, but his lips felt...nice. I had kissed Becky a few times, but this was much different. He opened his mouth and covered mine with his. He then gingerly tried to push his tongue into my mouth. When he did, my cock immediately grew rigid. “Mmmmm,” he moaned. “I’ve wanted to do this since last night,” he said as he continued to kiss me more passionately. Suddenly, he jumped off the bed, removed his underwear and climbed back on top of me. “We should stop,” I moaned as he stuck his hard, bare cock against my stomach. He sat up and looked down at me. “Why?” I couldn’t give him a good reason. It just felt like something I should say. He then scooted down and sat on my legs as he pulled my shorts down. My cock sprang from its tight confinement. “There he is!” he giggled as his head dropped and he engulfed it in his hot mouth. “Ohhh!” I moaned. I rammed my cock hard into his mouth. He put his hand around it and began to suck me. After a minute, he pulled off. “Get naked.” He helped me remove my shirt and then pulled my shoes off before pulling my shorts down over my legs. We were completely naked. He pushed me down and once again and started to kiss me. I pushed him off when I heard someone walking overhead. “Relax,” he assured me. “No one ever comes down here. It’s safe.” My heart stopped when the basement door opened. I quickly pulled the covers over me. “Wade?” “Yes, Ma’am?” “Dinner will be ready in a half hour.” “Okay!” he yelled out. “Can I invite someone?” “Of course,” she replied as she closed the door. Wade looked over and started laughing when he saw the frightened look on my face. I thought for sure she would come down and find me naked in bed with him. “See,” he laughed. “I told you she wouldn’t come down. She has arthritis in her knees and can’t climb the stairs.” He threw the covers off me and looked down at my flaccid cock. “Aw,” he cooed as he took it in his hand and started to stroke it. “Did you get scared?” I moaned softly when he once again dropped his head and started sucking me. I tried to turn my body so I could suck him as we had done the previous night, but he stopped me. “Just relax,” he said. “I want to get you off. Then you can do me.” I laid my head back on the pillow as Wade continued to suck me rapidly. Each time I felt I was going to cum, he would pull off and lick my balls until the feeling subsided. After the third time, I couldn’t hold it anymore. “I’m going to cum,” I announced. He removed his mouth and masturbated me until cum jettisoned from my cock and coated my chest. “Cool!” He said as he watched the last drops seep from my cock. I jumped when he leaned down and took my semi-hard cock back into his mouth. “It tickles!” I started to scream, but then I realized that his foster mom might hear me. I curled into a ball and giggled. He laid back and gave his hard cock a few strokes. “Now do me.” I wanted to take my time. Last night everything had happened so quickly that I hadn’t had time to enjoy my first sexual experience. This time I wanted to completely satisfy Wade. He closed his eyes as I ran my hand over his smooth chest. His breathing was labored, and I could tell he was very excited by what I was doing. He grabbed my head when I leaned in and ran my tongue gently over his nipple. “Oh, God,” he moaned. I continued to tweak his nipple as he held my head tightly. After a minute, I pulled away and laughed. “I can’t breathe.” He looked at me and smiled. “Sorry,” he said as he rested his head back. He moaned when I ran my tongue down his smooth belly until I reached his pubic hairs. They weren’t bushy like mine, but long and straight. I licked them gently before moving my tongue down to his tight, small balls. “Oh, God!” he moaned a little louder. I started giggling and then took them in my mouth. He curled up and moaned again. “If you don’t stop, I’m going to cum right now!” he warned me. I took his cock in my hand and examined it. It was smaller and thinner than mine. He was cut and the head was swollen and red. He threw his head back on the pillow when I opened my mouth and engulfed the head and ran my tongue around it. His hips rose up as he rammed it into my mouth. I began sucking him as I had the night before. Each time I went down on his cock, he would raise his body and shove it deeply into my mouth. We did this for about three minutes when he suddenly announced, “I’m going to cum!” Before I could remove my mouth, the first blast of cum hit the back of my throat. I was going to remove it, but he was holding the back of my head. His cum was quickly filling my mouth. In order not to gag, I swallowed it. When he finished, I pulled off and collapsed beside him. He was breathing heavily as he held his arm over his head. “God, Richie,” he moaned. “That was fucking fantastic!” We lay silently for a minute before he jumped up and straddled me. He looked down and grinned. “You swallowed it!” I looked up and returned his smile. “You didn’t exactly give me much choice.” “It felt so good; I didn’t want to pull out.” He reached down and started stroking my cock. It started to harden. “What are you doing?” I took his hand and tried to remove it, but he swatted my hand away. “I didn’t swallow yours,” he replied. “It’s okay, really,” I responded before letting out a moan. He had leaned down and sucked my cock completely into his mouth. Within a few minutes, he returned the favor. It felt great! We got dressed and sat around talking for a little while. We heard footsteps walking across the upstairs floor and then the door opened. “Wade?” “Yes?” he hollered out. “Dinner is ready.” We went upstairs and I met his foster mother, Mrs. Davenport. She appeared to be about sixty years old. She was thin and her face was gaunt. I watched as she moved slowly around the kitchen. She picked up our plates, went over to the stove and placed meatloaf on it. She then added mashed potatoes and green beans. We sat down and she had Wade say the grace. He mumbled something incoherent and we began to eat. Nothing much was said; however, she kept staring at me. A few times I would look at Wade out of the corner of my eye. He continued eating as if he didn’t notice. It also appeared that they hardly talked to each other. When we finished, we put our plates in the sink, walked out into the backyard and sat on a bench. “Your foster mom is kind of quiet, isn’t she?” I asked. “Don’t you guys ever talk or anything?” “Nah,” he replied as he shrugged his shoulders. “She only keeps me here because she needs the check she gets at the first of the month. I don’t really care, though. At least I got me a place to stay.” I looked over and he seemed sad. It wasn’t something I had seen before. He always seemed lively and vivacious. I realized for the first time that he probably hid his real feelings behind an extroverted exterior. Inside, he was probably hurting as much as I was. I scooted closer to him until our legs were lightly touching. I think he became aware that I had found out his secret because he suddenly sat up and looked over at me with his infectious grin. “Want to go to a party tonight?” “A party? Where?” “A friend’s house.” He grinned widely. “He throws some awesome parties. Besides, there should be plenty of alcohol.” “I don’t know,” I said worriedly. I was still feeling slightly sick from the night before. I wasn’t sure I could do it again so soon. “It’ll be fun,” he assured me as he put his hand on my leg and squeezed it. “He don’t mind that we’re only fifteen?” “Naw,” he replied. “Like Doug says, age is only a number. As long as we don’t do anything to get the cops called, he’s cool with it.” “I’ll think about it.” I looked down at my watch. It was after seven. If I was going to go to a party with Wade, I needed to go home and clean up. He stood up. “Be back here at nine if you decide to go. Okay?” I stood and nodded my head. He looked up at the kitchen window. When he didn’t see his foster mom, he leaned in and kissed me on my lips. “I had fun today. I hope you can go with me tonight.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “You might even get lucky again.” “You’re an idiot,” I laughed. I kissed him quickly and then headed around to the front of the house. After a quick wave, I headed back to Hell ********* It started as soon as I opened the door. He was sitting in the living room reading the newspaper. He threw it down when I entered, marched over and stood before me. “Where have you been? You missed having dinner with the family.” I started to make a comment that we were not a family, but I bit my tongue. “I had dinner at a friend’s house,” I mumbled as I turned and headed downstairs. “Wait a minute!” he shouted out. When I felt his hand drop onto my shoulder, I turned to protect myself. He stepped back and held up his hands. “I’m not going to hit you, Son.” I made a threat I wasn’t sure I could keep. “If you ever hit me again, I’m going to call the cops.” I thought he’d say something about knowing every cop in town, but he didn’t. “Here.” He thrust something in my face. When I looked closer, it was a Blackberry cell phone. “What’s this?” “What’s it look like?” he remarked as he placed it in my hand. “I want you to call me when you can’t make it for dinner again.” I tried to hand it back to him, but he folded his arms. “I don’t need this.” “Sure you do,” he smiled. “It’s got some cool games on it. I played some myself a little while ago. And don’t worry about running out of minutes. I got you the unlimited plan. I turned it over in my hand and examined it. I had been envious of some of my other friends who had similar phones. Under different circumstances I would have been dancing around the room. I stuffed it in my pocket and headed toward the stairs. “One other thing.” I turned and looked over at him. “I put my number in your contacts. You’ll find it under ‘Fucker.’” I turned and headed downstairs before I broke out laughing I went downstairs and lay down for a little while. If I was going to go out, I needed to get a little sleep. It was almost eight when I awoke. Wade had told me to be at his house by nine if I wanted to go to the party with him. I got up, removed my clothes and jumped in the shower. When I walked out of the bathroom I was toweling my hair, so I didn’t see Gabe sitting on the sofa. My face flushed with embarrassment when I realized I was standing naked before him. Ordinarily it wouldn’t have bothered me; but after having sex with Wade it seemed strange for him to see me naked. “What do you want?” I asked as I hurried over to the pile of clothes on a chair and found a pair of clean underwear. I then searched through the clothing and found my favorite pair of shorts. “What do you want?” I asked again after several silent minutes. “I just came by to see how my best bud was doing.” I knew he felt bad for upsetting me earlier. It would have been easier if I just explained things to him, but I couldn’t. “I’m okay,” I replied as I held up a shirt and examined it. I wanted to find something that wasn’t too wrinkled to wear. The iron was in the laundry room, and I didn’t want to go back upstairs and run into him again. “You going out?” “Yeah,” I said as I slipped a blue shirt over my head. I then walked into the bathroom and combed my hair. I looked over my shoulder to see Gabe standing behind me “Where are you going?" “To a party,” I replied as I opened the medicine cabinet. I found a bottle of cologne and splashed some on my face. “Who are you going with?” I turned and faced Gabe. “Wade." “Wade!” A disgusted look appeared on his face. “Jesus, Richie. Why are you hanging out with him? Don’t you know he’s gay?” “What’s wrong with that?” I walked over and stood defiantly before him. “A person can’t have a gay friend?” “Yeah, sure,” he answered nervously. “It’s just that...” He stopped and looked away. “Just what, Gabe?” I asked angrily. “People might think I’m gay?” “No!” he stammered. “Well, yeah.” I walked closer to him until we were only inches apart. “Look, Gabe. I want you to stay out of my life.” His eyes widened and then a hurt expression appeared on his face. “Fine,” he said as tears started to form in his eyes. “I got it.” He gave me one final sad look and then he walked out the door. I fell onto the sofa and buried my head in my hands. Did I just lose my best friend? ******** “You look great!” Wade’s eyes flashed with excitement when he opened the back door to let me in. I ran my eyes over his body. It was obvious he had gone out of his way to look good. It was the first time I’d ever seen him in a dress shirt. “You don’t look so bad yourself,” I responded as I wiggled my eyebrows. He grabbed my hand and led me into the room. “We’ve got time for a quickie,” he remarked as he ran his hand over the front of my shorts. My cock began to jerk. I looked over at the clock. It was 9:07. “Won’t we be late?” I asked. He looked at the time and frowned. “Probably,” he said. “If we’re late there won’t be any booze left.” I looked worriedly at him. “You sure we won’t get in any trouble?” “I told you it would be all right.” He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss. “Relax.” He grabbed my hand and led me up the stairs and out the door. We headed south from his home. “How far do we have to walk?” It was late and I wasn’t sure where the party was. I was a little worried that he might lead me into a dangerous neighborhood. “Not far,” he assured me. “But first we have to stop by Lennie’s. I’m not going to a party without some weed.” We talked on the way, but most of the conversation was about the party. He told me about some things that had happened during previous ones. I think he was trying to get me excited, but I was becoming increasingly worried. The party was going to be at a friend’s home. Wade said his name was Doug, and he was eighteen. He had attended our high school, but he had dropped out the previous year. He was now helping his dad in his machine shop. About once a month his parents went out of town to attend a NASCAR race and left him and his older sister alone. His sister would go over to her boyfriend’s house, leaving him alone in the house. He would then invite some friends over to keep him company. “Keeping a guy company doesn’t sound much like a party to me,” I said dejectedly. I had been hoping to attend my first real party. With my mother sick for the past three years, except for going out to the movies with Becky, my social life had been practically nonexistent. Wade started laughing. “Just wait.” He looked at me and smiled. I wanted to lean in and kiss him, but we were walking down a sidewalk. Several older people were sitting on their porches watching us as we passed. When we reached Lennie’s house, Wade put his hands in his pockets and pulled out some cash. He counted it and looked at me. “I’m a little short,” he said. “You got any money on you.” I pulled out my wallet and handed him some bills. He counted it and then looked up. “This is only seven dollars. I got nineteen. A good bag of weed costs at least fifty.” “If he can wait until tomorrow,” I suggested, “I have some money in the bank. I’ll give you the rest.” “Naw,” he replied. “Lennie don’t work like that. His policy is no cash, no grass.” He looked at me and frowned. “We might as well go back to my place. It won’t be a party without weed.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out the phone he had given me earlier. “What about this?” Wade took it from my hand an examined it. "Is this yours or did you steal it?” “It’s mine,” I assured him. “Cool,” he responded as he began playing with it. “Lennie won’t take it but I know someone who will.” He started to walk quickly away as I ran to catch up with him. We walked about two blocks when he came to a run-down house. “Wait here,” he said. “This guy don’t like strangers coming round.” Wade walked onto the porch and knocked. A young guy with a scarf on his head opened the door and looked out. I saw him look at me. I couldn’t hear what was being said, but he seemed upset that Wade had brought me to his house. When Wade held up the phone, the guy opened the door and they disappeared inside. A few minutes later he came out grinning. As we walked away, he unfolded several bills. “He gave me forty for the phone. With the rest we have, we can get really fucked up tonight.” He almost skipped on the way back to Lennie’s. ******** We could hear the loud music coming from the house before we even arrived. Had the home not been rather secluded on a deserted street, the police probably would have already stopped. It looked like a cabin you’d see in the woods somewhere. Several cars were parked in the stone driveway. “Here we are,” remarked Wade as he led me to the porch. Music blared from the living room when he opened the door. I looked around and noticed about fifteen people lounging around. Most appeared to be about our age, but several could have been older. There also seemed to be an equal number of guys and girls. I turned when I heard someone shout, “Wade!” A dark-haired boy wearing a leather vest walked over and kissed him on the lips. Wade gave the boy a cautious look and then grabbed my hand and pulled me forward. “Is this him?” The boy ran his eyes up and down my body. I felt like I was standing naked before him. “Be good, Doug,” warned Wade. He threw his arm around my back. “He’s mine.” "For now,” smiled Doug as he extended his hand and once again ran his eyes over my body. “I’m Doug,” he said. He looked at Wade and frowned. “Unfortunately, Ms. Thing here is a dear friend.” He leaned forward and whispered in my ear. “And yes, we have.” He grabbed Wade by the arm and started laughing. “In fact, almost everyone has.” Wade’s face reddened as he pulled me away. “Don’t listen to that silly queen,” he said as he led me toward the kitchen. Doug reached out, pinched Wade’s ass and then walked away laughing. He walked to a cooler sitting on the floor and handed me a beer. We then walked over to a kitchen table and sat down. He pulled the marijuana from his pants pocket and proceeded to roll several joints. When he was finished, he lit one and passed it to me. I looked around the room at some of the people milling about. Two girls were kissing in what appeared to be a laundry room. I leaned in and whispered to Wade. “Is everyone one here gay?” He looked around the room before answering. “Naw,” he replied. “A few maybe, but most are probably straight. It’s hard to say.” We finished the joint and then he grabbed my hand and led me back into the living room. We sat down beside a girl sitting on the sofa. She looked over and smiled. Wade then put his arm around my neck and pulled me into a kiss. He reached down to feel my crotch but I pushed his hand away. I didn’t feel comfortable making out with others around. Besides, even though Wade felt confident, I wasn’t sure how others would react to our display of affection. As we continued to kiss, I heard Doug once again approach and screech out Wade’s name. “Wade, Darling,” he said as we looked up at him. “I want you to meet a friend of mine.” My eyes widened when I saw who he had his arm around. It was Becky’s older brother, Stephen. “Richie?”
  11. Ronyx

    Chapter 5

    I was almost asleep when Wade stirred and then sat up. He rose and started to put on his shorts and shirt. “We’d better go,” he said as he looked at his watch. “It’s almost midnight. My foster mom has a curfew for me.” “What if you’re late?” I asked as I got up and began dressing. “Then I get sent back to juvie.” “You’ve been locked up?” He hadn’t told me about being in trouble, only that his mother was in jail. “A couple of times,” he stated. “Nothing bad, though. I’ve been caught shoplifting a few times.” He thought for a minute. “Oh, yeah. There was that assault on a teacher.” “You hit a teacher?” My voice kind of shrieked. He leaned down and tied his shoes. “She called me stupid,” he said angrily. He stood and faced me. “What would you have done?” “I wouldn’t have hit her.” “Right,” he replied as he studied my face. “Did you hit the guy who gave you that bruise on the side of your face?” Instinctively, I reached up and rubbed it. “Well, no,” I said. “Why not? They must have hit you pretty hard. So, you let them do it without doing anything?” He looked skeptically at me. I turned and started walking up the side of the embankment. I didn’t feel like discussing what had happened earlier in the day. He ran up and stopped me. “Did your old man do that?” “I don’t want to talk about it,” I replied as I quickened my pace. “Hold on.” He grabbed my arm and stopped me. “My mom had a boyfriend who used to knock the shit out of me almost every night. You don’t have to put up with that shit.” “But you just said he hit you every night.” “Yeah,” he responded. “He did until he came in drunk one night and started hitting my momma. I hit him over the head with a ball bat.” My eyes widened. “Did you kill him?” “Pert near,” he laughed. “Took sixteen stitches to stop the bleeding. He left the next morning and we never saw him again.” “Well I can’t hit him with a bat,” I insisted. “Sure you can.” He took the stance of a batter. “Just swing hard and hit the son of a bitch over the head.” I started laughing when he swung and almost fell down. “You’re an idiot,” I laughed as I threw my arm around his shoulder and started walking away. He wrapped his arm around my waist as we continued to stumble down the sidewalk. “Seriously, Richie.” He pulled me tighter into his body. “You can’t let him hit you like that.” “I can deal with it,” I insisted, but he looked over worriedly. “Whatever you say, Rich,” he said skeptically. A smile appeared on his face and he wrapped his arm around my back. “Come on, I’m going to be late.” We walked for several blocks without saying much. I was trying to regain some of my senses before I returned home. I could still feel the effects of the weed, and my head was starting to throb from the vodka. “This is my street,” he announced after we had walked a few more blocks. It was a nice part of town about two blocks from our school. The homes were close together with a driveway separating them. He pointed down the street. “I live in the fourth house on the left, the green house with white shutters.” He looked at me and wiggled his eyebrows. “Want to spend the night? We could get into something again.” “No,” I laughed. “As much as I’d like to, I’d better get home. I’m sure the police are still looking for me.” “The offer still stands,” he said. “Not the sex. If you ever need to get away, you’ve got a place to stay. I have a room in the basement, and it has a door to the outside. No one will see you. Just tap on the basement window.” I nodded and then we stood looking at each other timidly. He approached me and held out his arms. “I had a good time tonight,” he said. “I’m glad we met.” “Me too,” I said as I hugged him tightly. He leaned back and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before turning and skipping down the street. I smiled as I watched him hurry away. When he neared his house, he stopped and waved. I waved back and then he disappeared down the driveway. I turned and headed back to the place I now called Hell. ******** It was a twenty-minute walk back to my house. I paid attention to the route, just in case I might need to use it again. I had no idea what to expect when I arrived home. Since he had the police at the basketball game looking for me, I was sure he wouldn’t like me coming home sometime after midnight. No lights were on in the house when I walked up the drive. I crept behind the garage and peered into the window to see if his car was parked inside. It wasn’t. A car I didn’t recognize was there, so I assumed it must be hers. It angered me that he had already moved her and her sons into my house. When he left, Mom told me that I was now the man of the house. It seemed logical to me that now that she had died, the house should be mine. She wasn’t dead a week, and he was already moving his ‘other’ family in. I took out my key from my front pocket and went around to the back door. It didn’t work when I turned the key. He had changed the fucking locks! I hurried around to the front door and the same thing occurred. I couldn’t get into my own home. I considered walking down the block to Gabe’s house, but he was surely asleep. After many sleepovers, I knew he could sleep through a tornado if it picked his house up and carried it a few miles away. He would wake up hours later and wonder what happened. I walked around to the back of the house and looked up at my room- or what used to be my room. I guess it was now her son’s room. A light was dimly flashing, so I knew he was watching my television. At least I had a password on my computer so he wouldn’t be able to access it. It’s a good thing too, or he would have seen my favorite sites. Some were gay sites that a fifteen-year-old boy shouldn’t have access. However, they had come in handy earlier in the evening when I was with Wade. At least I had some idea what to expect when he pulled down my pants. I walked over and lay down on one of the chaise lounge chairs on the deck. My body sunk into it, and I realized just how tired I was. My head had cleared some, but my temples still throbbed. When my stomach growled, I became aware for the first time that I was hungry- very hungry. However, I couldn’t get into the kitchen to get anything to eat. The thought of food almost made it worthwhile to get up, walk over to Gabe’s and throw stones at this window. Although a boulder probably wouldn’t have awakened him. I toed off my shoes and let them fall to the deck floor. I then rolled on my side and fell asleep. I don’t know how long I had been sleeping when I heard a car pull up into the driveway. I crawled out of the chair and crept around to the side of the house to see who it was. It was him. He got out of the car, looked around and then slammed the door shut. I watched as he stomped up the sidewalk and went into the house. A minute later a light came on in my mother’s room. The son of a bitch was sleeping with his whore in Mom’s room! He had no right to come into our house and defile it. I don’t think I had ever felt as much hatred for anyone as I did at that moment. After several minutes I walked around to the back of the house and collapsed onto the chaise lounge. Within minutes I was asleep. “What the fuck!” The chair I was sleeping in was being raised, and I was being dumped into the cold water of the pool. After shaking the water from my face, I looked up, and he was standing staring down at me. He was dressed in his pajamas. I looked over and saw her racing through the kitchen door. “Where have you been!” he screamed down at me. “I’ve been looking all over this goddamned town for you tonight!” I shook my head again, trying to wake up. He reached down to grab my collar, but I went under the water and swam to the center of the pool. “I asked you a question!” he hollered. She grabbed his arm and tried to calm him down. “I don’t have to answer to you!” I shouted back as I treaded around in the water. “I’m your father, Richard!” he shouted angrily. “Until you are eighteen, you’ll do as I say.” I knew from his reaction earlier in the evening that he resented me saying it, but I shouted it anyway. “Fuck you!” His face reddened and he broke from her tight grip. The next thing I saw was a large splash of water and then I was being pulled under. I gasped for air as I kicked my feet violently at him. However, since I was wearing street clothes, it was almost impossible to move in the water. He wrapped his thick arm around my neck and dragged me back to the side of the pool. He grabbed the side and breathed heavily, but he didn’t release his grip. After a minute he released me and had me stand in the water. He looked angrily down at me. “Why are you acting like this, Richard? I’m here to help you, not fight with you.” Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked at him. “I don’t need your help!” I screamed. “You weren’t here when we needed you. Why are you here now?” “Because you’re my children and I love you.” I started laughing hysterically. “Love us?” I couldn’t stop laughing. “We haven’t seen you in two years. Where were you when Mom was dying? Did you love us then?” He looked at me sadly and said, “People make mistakes.” I couldn’t control my anger. “Mistakes? You Fucker! You think you can come back in here and act like nothing happened now that Mom is dead.” My eyes narrowed in anger. “That’s it! You were just waiting for her to die so you could bring your whore and her children here to live.” He raised his hand to hit me, but she shouted loudly from above us, “Richard! Don’t!” He turned and put his head in his hands on the side of the pool. “Go to your room, Richard,” he spoke softly. “We’ll deal with this in the morning.” “I don’t have a room anymore,” I replied angrily as I climbed out of the water. I looked up and saw Freddy watching the spectacle below. “Her son now lives there,” I hissed as I walked past her. I thought about leaving, but it was late, and I was exhausted from swimming around in the water. I walked through the kitchen. My wet socks were sloshing on the floor. I removed them and then headed down to the family room on the lower level. There was a leather sofa which I decided would become my permanent bed, at least until I could think of some way to leave. I entered the bathroom and relieved myself. When I was done, I looked over at the walk-in shower. I removed my clothes, turned on the faucet and stood under the warm water. “I hate him,” I thought as the water cascaded down my body. If I were just a little older I could leave and move in with Aunt Barbara. But for now he had complete control over my life. The only thing I could do was to make his life as miserable as mine was. When I got out of the shower, there were a pair of pajamas and a stack of clean clothes lying on the sofa. It appeared like enough clothes to last me several days. There were also a two blue blankets and pillow beside them. I put on my pajamas and then made the sofa into a bed. I looked over at the digital clock on the flat screen television. It was after two in the morning. Exhaustedly, I fell onto the sofa and closed my eyes. I was almost asleep when my stomach started to growl again; only this time it was much louder. “Shit,” I moaned as I got up and tiptoed up the stairs. A dim light was on in the kitchen. When I entered, Freddy was sitting at the kitchen island eating a bowl of cereal. “Hey,” he said timidly as I entered. I nodded and walked over to the refrigerator and looked inside. “There’s some chicken left over from KFC.” He got up and walked over. I stepped aside as he pushed some items around and then pulled out something wrapped in aluminum foil. He opened it up and looked over at me. “It’s a leg and breast,” he announced as he took a plate out of the dishwasher and put them on it. He then walked over, put them inside the microwave and turned it on. I reached for a glass and returned to the refrigerator and poured myself a glass of milk. The microwave timer rang, and Freddy took the chicken out and placed the plate at the seat beside him. I walked over and sat down. I took a piece of chicken from the plate and hungrily nibbled on it. He sat down but neither of us said anything. I noticed him keep looking at me from out of the corner of his eye. “Thanks,” I mumbled as I took another bite. “It’s okay,” he said softly. He turned and faced me. “I hope I brought you down the right clothes.” “Yeah, thanks a lot,” I replied sarcastically as our eyes met. He was wearing a pair of thin, designer glasses. He took them off and laid them on the counter. “Look, Richie,” he said as he turned in his seat and faced me. “I’m not the enemy here. I don’t like what’s happening any more than you do.” “Right,” I replied. I felt bad treating him so rudely because he seemed to be as angry as I was. “You can have your room back,” he said. “I’ll be happy to sleep in the family room. Mom and I argued for hours when she made me move into your room.” I didn’t say anything as I continued eating. “She’s not really a bad person.” I looked over and rolled my eyes. “She loves your father a lot.” Again, I rolled my eyes. He sighed deeply. “My life has been hell since they met. This is the third time we’ve had to move.” I looked at him. There was a sadness in his eyes that I could identify with. He was right. He wasn’t the enemy. However, he was here, and he had moved into my room. I couldn’t pretend like nothing had happened. “Look,” I said as I pushed myself away from the counter. “I’m really tired. I’m going down and get some sleep.” “Sure, Rich,” he responded sadly. “Like I said, anytime you want your room back, you can have it. I shouldn’t be there anyway.” “Right,” I muttered as I got up and headed downstairs. I was dreaming about Wade when someone sat down on the sofa. I opened my eyes and Andrew was sitting looking down at me. He was sniffling, so I knew he had been crying. “What’s wrong?” I reached out and pulled him toward me. I opened the blanket and he snuggled in beside me. “I miss Mommy,” he cried. I put my arm around him and held him tightly. “Why did she have to leave us?” I kissed the top of his head. “I don’t know.” Tears were starting to fall down my cheek. I fought hard to let him know that I wasn’t crying too. He needed me to be strong. “I miss her,” he sobbed louder. I took his hand and held it up. “See this?” He nodded. “That’s Mommy in you.” He stopped sobbing. I reached down and took his foot and held it out from under the blanket. “See this.” He nodded and giggled when I tickled the bottom of his foot. “That’s Mommy in you.” I rubbed my hand through his head. “What color is your hair?” “Blonde.” “That’s the color of Mommy’s hair,” I said. “That’s Mommy in you.” I reached around and poked him under his eye. “What’s the color of your eyes?” “Blue.” “And?” He turned around and smiled. “That’s Mommy in me.” “That’s right.” I gave him a big hug. “So anytime you miss Mommy, you just look in a mirror. Mommy is there.” He threw his arms around me. “Thanks, Richie. I feel better.” “Now go back to bed.” He started to pout. “Can I sleep with you tonight?” He didn’t even wait for an answer. He turned and snuggled against my body. I threw my arm around him and nestled back into the sofa. A few minutes later he started to snore lightly. I ran my hand through his blonde hair. ‘You may look like Mommy when you look in a mirror,’ I thought, ‘but I look like him.’ When I awoke, I was alone in the room. I looked at the clock, it was after eleven. I could hear Andrew and Harley splashing around in the pool outside. I got up and put on a pair of board shorts and a yellow shirt. After slipping on my sandals, I headed upstairs. I was going to get something to eat, but when I peeked into the kitchen she and Freddy were sitting quietly talking. I tried to hear what they were saying, but they were speaking too low for me to hear. I turned to leave, when she called out my name. “Richard?” I turned and glared at her. Her face softened, “I mean Richie.” She approached me. “Would you like some breakfast?” “I don’t think so,” I responded angrily. I looked over at Freddy. He had a sad expression on his face. She reached out and touched my arm, but I quickly pulled away. “I’d really like for you to sit down with us,” she said. “I’d like to get to know you better.” I stood and stared angrily at her. “Look, Mrs…what’s your name again.” “Linda,” she replied softly. “You can call me Linda.” “Yeah, sure,” I replied rudely. “I don’t want you to know me better. Got it? I’m not in the market right now for a new mother.” As I walked away, I looked over at Freddy. He seemed very hurt by way I was speaking to his mother. I turned and glared at her. “I’d really appreciate it if you’d just stay out of my life.” I turned and stormed out of the kitchen. I hurried out the front door, slamming it loudly as I left. I headed over to Gabe’s house. He was shooting a basketball in the driveway. He stopped when he saw me approaching. “Where the hell were you last night?” He seemed upset with me. “I looked all over for you after the game. A bunch of us guys went out for pizza and I was hoping you would go.” I picked up the basketball and shot it. As usual, it missed the rim and hit the back of the garage. “When I got there the cops were looking for me, so I didn’t go in.” “How do you know they were looking for you?” he asked. “The police always patrol the games.” “Because his car was parked behind theirs,” I informed Gabe. “His?” He gave me a puzzled look and then started laughing. “Damn, Richie,” he laughed. “You can’t even say father.” I scowled at him. “Okay then, how about Dad or Old Man?” “How about sperm donor?” He fell to the ground and laughed. When he saw the upset look on my face he stopped laughing and patted the ground beside him. I sat down and crossed my arms. “You’ve got to get over this obsession, Richie,” he said worriedly. “You said yesterday he’s not going to let you go live with your aunt, so you might as well start getting along with him.” I stood up and looked down angrily at Gabe. “Fucker!” I yelled. “Now you’re going to take his side?” “Naw, Rich.” He stood up and grabbed my arm. “I’m just worried about you, is all. You’re my best bud,” he squeezed my arm tightly. “After the way you left yesterday, I really worried about you. I thought you might...” He looked at me with tears in his eyes. “Might what?” I asked. “Kill myself?” He nodded and wiped tears from his eyes. He turned and sat back down on the ground with his back to me. I walked over and sat down beside him. I scooted closer to him until our legs were touching slightly. “I’m all right,” I tried to assure him. He looked at me sadly. “Maybe you should get some help, Richie,” he suggested. “You’ve been through a lot of shit the past couple of years.” “I don’t need any help,” I assured him. “You lost your mom, Richie,” he said sadly. “Now your dad comes back and fucks your life up even more.” Tears again welled up in his eyes. “You’ve changed, Rich. You’re not the same guy I used to know.” “What do you mean?” I asked defensively. “I can’t explain it,” he said. “You’re just not the same Richie anymore.” I reached out and touched his arm. “I’ll be okay, Gabe, I promise.” He looked at me and nodded. We sat silently for a few minutes. He grabbed the basketball and then scooted a few feet away from me and passed me the ball. We did this for several minutes. Things were beginning to feel like old times again. “You never did tell me where you went last night,” he said as he dribbled the ball between his legs before tossing it to me. I shrugged my shoulders. “I just walked around for a while and then met this guy and we hung out.” “What guy?” I was entering dangerous territory. I knew I had to be careful what I said. I didn’t want Gabe knowing what I had done. Being an athlete, he was very opposed to teenagers drinking and taking drugs. I could only imagine what he would say if he knew I had sex for the first time. “What guy?” he asked again when I didn’t answer. “Said his name was Wade,” I replied. “Wade?” A puzzled look appeared on his face. “Wade Chenoweth?” I shrugged my shoulders. I couldn’t remember if he’d told me his last name. “Why?” “Is he a freshman with long blonde hair?” I nodded. “Why you hanging with him for?” He glared at me angrily. “I just met him last night,” I said defensively. “Why are you getting so upset?” “He’s a loser, Richie.” He looked at me and shook his head. “If it’s the guy I’m thinking of, he’s always high and hardly ever comes to school. I also heard that he’s…” I cut him off because I knew where he was heading. “He seemed like a nice guy to me,” I said quickly. “Besides, I only talked to him for a while.” Gabe looked over and frowned. “I just don’t think you should see him again.” “What?” I jumped up. “What are you now, my fucking father?” He stood and reached out to touch me, but I stepped away. “I’m just trying to protect you, Richie.” “I don’t need your protection!” I shouted as I began to walk away. I turned and faced him. “Fuck you, Gabe! I don’t need you to tell me who I can and can’t see.” “I didn’t mean it like that.” I started walking angrily down the driveway. “Go to Hell!” I mumbled loud enough for him to hear. He shouted out my name, but I continued walking away from him. ‘Who needs friends?’ I thought to myself as I stormed off.
  12. Ronyx

    Chapter 4

    I had no idea where I was going when I ran from Gabe’s house. After walking around downtown for a while, I realized I didn’t have a clue what to do. Gabe was the only friend I felt comfortable being around. If I had gone to someone else’s house, they would have probably wondered why I was there. I couldn’t go to Aunt Barbara’s house because that would be the first place he would look. He had probably already been there. I could hear him now threatening to get a search warrant if they didn’t let him in to see if I was there. I looked at the clock on a nearby bank. It was 7:10. Gabe’s basketball game would be starting soon. If I walked quickly, I could make it by the second quarter. I could hear students shouting as I approached the gym. I suddenly stopped when I saw a police cruiser parked in front of the entrance gate. Behind it was his black BMW. He had come to the school to look for me. I approached his car cautiously, and then I took the house key from my pocket and ran it alongside the car. I thought I was busted when a student came out the door and saw me. I tried to hurry away, but he came running up beside me. “That was so fucking cool, Man!” he laughed as he grabbed my arm and stopped me. “You keyed a fucking BMW!” “So what?” I said angrily as I pulled his hand from my arm and began to walk away. “Hey!” he shouted. “Wait up!” He ran up beside me and almost skipped to keep up with my quick pace. I walked for about a block with him beside me. I couldn’t figure out why he wouldn’t leave me alone. Finally, I stopped and faced him. “Look, Kid.” “Wade,” he smiled. “My name is Wade.” He stood grinning with the most perfect white teeth I had ever seen. His brown eyes were shining as he brushed back a lock of blond hair that had fallen across his face. He was cute- really cute. He was about an inch shorter than me. He had a few pimples on his red cheeks, but what teenager doesn’t? I had been trying to get rid of one on my chin for days. I wondered why I had never seen him in school before. Then again, he could have been a student at our opponent’s school. “Look, Wade,” I said. He just stood and grinned at me. “I’m not really in the mood to be hanging with someone right now.” “Why not?” he asked innocently. I sighed and started to walk away. “I just don’t, okay?” He skipped up beside me. “Is it because of that fucker’s car you keyed?” I looked over at him and scowled. “Yeah, you could say that.” “You must be the kid they are looking for?” I stopped and faced him. “Who?” “The cops,” he stated. “These two big ass cops were walking around checking out the student section. There was this guy dressed in a suit following them.” A worried look appeared on his face. “You in some kind of trouble?” “Nope,” I replied sharply as I started to walk away. He ran up and grabbed my arm. “Would you stop walking away.” “Look, Wade,” I replied. “I don’t know you. I just want to be alone. All right?” He started grinning as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a joint. He held it up to my face. “I got some good dope. Interested?” “I don’t do drugs,” I insisted. He frowned, but then his lips formed another incredible grin. “Then come with me while I get high.” I started to resist, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me down the street until we came to a small park. Since it was starting to get dark, no one else was around. He walked over and sat down on a bench. He then motioned for me to sit down beside him. I looked nervously around as he put the joint to his lips and lit it. “Relax,” he laughed. “No one’s going to see us.” I watched as he took a deep puff on the thin joint. He closed his eyes and then slowly exhaled it. “Here.” He handed it to me. “Hit it.” I shook my head. “I’ve never done drugs before.” He sat up and faced me. His eyes twinkled with excitement. “Then it’s time you learned, “he said. “Besides, after watching you fuck up that car back there, I think you may need it.” I looked into his cute, grinning face and reached for the half smoked joint. He watched carefully as I put it to my lips and inhaled deeply. I immediately started coughing. He patted me on my back and warned, “Take smaller puffs. You can’t inhale like that until you’ve smoked a while.” I nodded and then took a small puff. He smiled as I held it in my lungs for a few seconds before finally exhaling it. “Good,” he grinned as he took it from my fingers and smoked what remained of the now consumed joint. He then turned and sat back, laying his head on the back of the bench. I sat back and did the same. Our arms were lightly touching. After about a minute, he spoke. “Feel anything yet?” I opened my eyes and looked over at him. I couldn’t understand what I was supposed to be feeling. “I don’t think so,” I said. He turned his head and smiled at me. “I’ve got a small buzz,” he announced. I gave him a quizzical look. He sat back up and smiled. “We got to get you high, Man.” He then gave me a puzzled look. “I don’t even know your name.” “Richie,” I replied. “My name is Richie Ferguson.” An astonished look appeared on his face. “No shit?” He grew worried when I gave him an angry look. “Sorry, Richie,” he quickly apologized. “I heard some kids talking about you in my science class last week.” He shook his head sadly. “It must be pretty shitty losing your mother like that.” I started to get up, but he pulled me back down. “Look, I’m sorry. You probably don’t want to talk about it.” I shook my head. He grinned his signature smile again. “What you need is to get high.” He took my hand and helped me up. “Come on.” I started to tell him I didn’t want to go, but for some reason I felt like I wanted to be with him. Even though we had just met, and I didn’t know anything about him other than his name, I enjoyed his company. He also seemed to be able to understand what I was going through, even though I hadn’t said anything. I trailed behind him as we walked about four blocks. The sun was setting in the western sky and it was quickly becoming dark. We came to a corner store. It had a big sign over the roof that read, Big Jim’s. I remembered noticing the building before when we passed it on the way to one of my mother’s doctor appointments. Wade walked around to the side and motioned for me to lean up against the building. “You stay here,” he said. “If you see a cop coming down the street, come in and get me.” “Why?” I asked, but he had already disappeared around the corner. I waited nervously for him. I had no idea what he intended to do. His warning to watch for a police car had made me feel uncomfortable. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he came tearing around the corner. He had a scared look on his face. “Run!” He grabbed my arm and we tore off behind the building. Suddenly, I heard a gunshot. I looked back and saw an enormous man wearing overalls holding a gun in the air. I ducked when he raised it and fired again. “Fucking kids!” he screamed at us. Wade covered his head and continued to run. I followed him through several backyards until he finally collapsed into some brush behind a used car lot. “What in the hell did you do?” I collapsed beside him, gasping for air. “Wait a minute,” he managed to say as he tried to catch his breath. I lay watching his wet t-shirt as his chest rose and fell His face was flushed from running and his wet blond hair clung to his forehead. After a few minutes, he raised himself on his elbow and grinned at me. “That was close,” he said. “What did you do?” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone. It was still wrapped in its plastic container. “Did you steal that?” I squealed. “Yeah,” he grinned. “I’ve never seen Jim so mad. I saw him grab his gun, but I didn’t think he’d shoot at me.” “You almost got us killed!” “Yeah,” he replied as he lay his head back on the dirty ground. He then leaned toward me and grinned as he held up the phone. “But I got us some weed.” I stood up and looked down angrily at him. “You’re crazy!” I shouted as I walked away. “Wait, Richie!” he yelled as he ran up beside me. “I only did it for you.” “What! Did it for me?” A sad look appeared on his face. “You seemed down, so I wanted to make you feel better.” “Don’t do me any favors,” I huffed as I stormed off. He trailed about five feet behind me. We’d walked about two blocks when he finally stepped up beside me. “Are you mad?” he asked timidly. I looked over and his brown eyes were staring at me. He brushed back the ever-troublesome lock of hair that kept falling across his eye. I attempted to look angry, but I quickly melted away from his cute appearance. “Well, you did almost get me shot.” I turned and grinned. “Sorry,” he lifted his head and smiled. “It was kind of fun, though, wasn’t it?” “Playing video games is fun,” I replied. “Getting a bullet in my ass isn’t.” He giggled and then threw his arm around my shoulder. “Let’s go see if Lennie is home,” he said. “He usually has some good stuff.” He turned and we walked side by side for several blocks. He told me a little about himself on the way. I found out he was the same age as me. He had failed the third grade, so he was a grade behind me in school. That was the reason I had never seen him before. I soon learned his story was almost as bad as mine. His father was dead. He’d been shot in the back after arguing with a guy over a five-dollar debt. Wade was only three at the time so he didn’t remember anything about it. His mother was in jail for theft and resisting arrest. She had entered a drug store last year and taken some cosmetics. When the police arrived, she bit one of them when they tried to handcuff her. Since then, Wade has been living in a foster home. He has two older brothers and a younger sister he hasn’t seen since he left home. He said he misses his sister, but he never liked his brothers. When I asked him why, he didn’t give me an answer. We walked up to an old, dilapidated home. He told me to wait outside while he knocked on the door and then disappeared inside. I sat on the step and waited for him to come out. Several people came up and gave me a quizzical look as they passed me. Minutes later, Wade came out the door and bounded down the steps. “Let’s go,” he said as he started skipping down the sidewalk. I had to run to catch up with him. “Where are we going?” I asked as I walked quickly beside him. “I don’t know yet,” he responded as he continued walking. Suddenly, he stopped and looked at me. “I know.” He then turned and started walking in the opposite direction, back past Lennie’s house. We walked for about a half hour. He asked me some questions about my life, but I was hesitant to talk about anything personal. Gabe was the only person I felt comfortable talking about things like that. Even then, some things I hadn’t even mentioned to him. It was dark when we approached a small bridge and stopped in the middle. I looked down and saw a small stream flowing by. It couldn’t have been any more than a few feet deep. I remembered seeing it years ago when Gabe and I rode our bicycles one Saturday afternoon. A friend had told us that a Brink’s truck had overturned somewhere near the bridge and that money had been strewn all over. We spent hours walking through tall weeds in the hope of getting rich. On Monday that friend fell on the floor in laughter when we told him what we had done. I don’t think I’d ever seen Gabe’s face so red. I quietly followed Wade down a narrow path that led to a grassy spot under the bridge. We sat atop one of the large rocks and watched the stream trickle past. A street light over the bridge gave us some light as Wade reached in his pocket and pulled out a plastic sandwich bag. It contained a large amount of marijuana. He then pulled out a small package and removed a thin piece of paper. I watched as he rolled a couple of joints and placed them in his lap. When he was finished, he looked over at me and grinned. “Here.” He passed me a joint and lighter. I tentatively took them from him. He giggled as I put the joint to my mouth and lit it. “Smoke it slow,” he warned as he took the lighter and lit another joint. I guess he wanted me to smoke the one in my hand by myself. After taking a few hits, he stood and pulled out a small bottle from his pants. I hadn’t noticed it before. “Ta dum,” he laughed as he held it in the air. “Time for a party,” he giggled. He opened the bottle and took a drink. He then passed it to me. “What’s this?” “Read the label, Stupid,” he giggled. “It’s vodka. Lennie gave it to me. He hates vodka.” I lifted the bottle to my nose and smelled it. I pulled it away and wrinkled my nose. He giggled again as he took the bottle from me and took another swig. He then handed it back to me. “It tastes like shit out of the bottle,” he said, “but it takes away your problems.” He pushed the bottle toward me. “Take a sip.” I wrinkled my nose and smelled it again before putting it to my lips. Wade watched intently as I took a small sip from the bottle. I pulled it away and started coughing. “It tastes like lighter fluid,” I managed to whisper hoarsely. “How would you know what lighter fluid tastes like,” Wade giggled. I rolled my eyes. “Well, if I drank lighter fluid,” I replied, “this is what it would probably taste like.” I handed the bottle back to him. He frowned. “Party pooper. You’re such a pussy.” “I’m not a pussy,” I insisted indignantly He handed the bottle back to me. “Prove it,” he smiled. I rolled my eyes again and took the bottle from him. I took a deep breath and took a swig. My throat instantly started to burn. I wanted to spit it out, but Wade was enjoying watching me suffer. I swallowed it, and then lifted the bottle to my lips and took another drink. He rolled on the ground and laughed uproariously. “Okay,” he said as he caught his breath. “You’re not a pussy.” He snatched the bottle from me. Half the contents had disappeared. “Hey, save some for me.” He lit another joint as he drank more of the vodka. My stomach was beginning to do somersaults, but I was determined I would not get sick in front of Wade. He’d already called me a pussy once. It’s hard to say what he would call me if I hurled all over him. We had smoked about three joints each before the bottle of vodka was empty. I laid my head back on the soft grass and closed my eyes. Every time I opened them, the trees above my head seemed to be swirling faster. One thing I realized, though, was that nothing seemed to matter. It seemed like all my problems had been washed away. For the first time in months, I felt relaxed. I opened my eyes when Wade moved next to me. I turned my head and he was looking worriedly at me. “Are you okay, Richie?” I stared into his brown eyes. “Yeah,” I replied as I turned my head and closed my eyes. “Never felt better.” “Yep,” he sighed. “Nothing like a good fucking high to make you forget all your troubles.” There was a sense of sadness in his voice. I looked over at him as he lay back with his eyes closed. He was so handsome; yet from what he had shared with me, his life was as tragic as mine. My mind was still reeling as the effects of the alcohol and weed finally caught up with my brain. Several times I had to swallow the vomit that had made its way to my mouth. I was almost asleep listening to the croaking of the frogs that were surrounding us. Suddenly, Wade got up and rushed over to the side of the stream. He unzipped his pants and I could hear the steady stream of piss hitting the water. I squinted my eyes and watched him under the dim light from above the bridge. His head was leaning back as he relieved himself. I opened my eyes wider when I noticed that he was making a jerking motion with his hand. He couldn’t be, I thought to myself. Suddenly, he turned and was holding his erect cock in his hand as he slowly masturbated. He casually walked over and stood before me. “I’m so fucking horny.” He looked down and grinned as he continued to stroke his cock. “Weed always makes me horny.” I couldn’t believe it when he sat down and continued to masturbate. He looked over and asked nonchalantly, “Do you want to mess around?” “What?” I shouted as I sat up. I tried to look at his face, but my gaze dropped to the hand that was quickly stroking his cock. “Do you want to do something?” My eyes widened. “You’re gay?” He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m just horny.” He looked down at his cock and gave it a couple of strokes. “Whatever gets me off.” By now my cock was poking desperately at my shorts. Watching him had aroused me. Other than Gabe’s, I’d never seen a boy’s hard cock before. Gabe and I had jacked off a few times when we were younger, but we hadn’t for the past couple of years. I think he thought it was a little too gay to do anymore, but he never said anything. I was afraid he would think I was gay if I mentioned it to him. He pulled his shorts off and then his shirt. Except for his shoes, he was sitting naked beside me. He nudged me with his elbow. “Come on, Richie. Let’s get off together.” He reached down and pinched my erection. “I know you want to.” “I’m not gay,” I insisted as I pushed his hand away from my crotch. “No one said you were,” he said. He looked at me pleadingly. “I’m horny as fucking hell, Man. I feel stupid sitting here like this.” He tugged his cock a couple of times and then looked pleadingly at me. “Please?” “I don’t know,” I responded. Before I realized what he was doing, he had reached over and stuck his hands in my shorts. I let out a gasp as he tightened his hand around my erect cock. He got up and straddled my body. “Lay back,” he said as he pushed me back onto the soft grass. I gasped again as he unzipped my shorts and my cock sprang free of its tight confinement. “Nice,” he muttered as he started to stroke it. I couldn’t believe what was happening. The alcohol and weed had weakened my resistance and I felt powerless to stop him. I didn’t resist as he pulled my shirt over my head and then struggled to remove my shorts. Soon, I was lying naked with him straddled atop me. “Wade,” I mumbled faintly. “I don’t think I’m ready for this. Oh, God!” I looked down and he was sucking my entire cock into his mouth. “Jesus, Wade,” I moaned as I thrust my cock deeper into his mouth. He removed his mouth and looked up at me and grinned. “Feels good, don’t it?” I nodded my head as he took the length of my cock once again into his mouth. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the wonderful sensation he was giving me. After a minute, he moved his body around. When I opened my eyes, his hard cock was inches from my face. “Please,” he begged. “I got to get off.” I reached out and carefully wrapped my hand around it. He moaned as I began to quickly stroke him. He continued to inch his cock closer to my face until the swollen head was lightly touching my lips. He flinched when I stuck my tongue out and gently licked the drops of precum that were oozing from the head. “Oh, yeah,” he moaned. When he engulfed my cock to the base, he pushed his gently into my mouth. Even though it was hard, it had a silky feel to it. The cum that I tasted on the tip wasn’t bitter as I had expected it to be. I took it deeper. He gasped as he pushed it completely in my mouth and began thrusting it deep inside. At the same time, I began desperately fucking his mouth. I grabbed his thin ass and pulled him tighter into me. He did the same and soon I felt that familiar feeling when I’m about to explode. I pulled his cock from my mouth and whispered hoarsely, “I’m going to cum, Wade.” I tried to pull my cock from his mouth, but he held me tighter. I opened my mouth and engulfed his entire cock. After a few more thrusts I felt my balls tighten as I unloaded into his hungry mouth. “Unngghh! I cried as I thrust even deeper. I then felt his body become rigid and the first blast of cum hit the back of my mouth. I started to gag and pulled it from my mouth and spit the cum onto the ground. He thrust forward again until he found my mouth. I opened it as he came a few more drops. This time I was able to take it without gagging. He rolled over on his back and let out a low growl. “That was fucking fantastic, Richie.” “Thanks,” I replied. My body was still coming down from the excitement of my first sexual experience. We lay together with our arms touching lightly for several minutes without speaking. A few times I would look over and watch as his cock softened under the glow of the street light. He turned to me and grinned. “You’ve done this before?” “No,” I confessed. My face began to redden. “This was my first time.” “No way,” he laughed as he sat up with a surprised look. “Yes, way,” I giggled. “I didn’t have a clue what I was doing.” He grabbed his soft cock and pulled on it. “For someone who didn’t know what he was doing, you sure did a good job.” I reached down and pulled on my cock. It was still semi-hard. “You did a pretty good job, too.” He gave me a wicked wink. “Yeah, well, I’ve been around.” He reached down, took my cock in his hand and gave it a couple of strokes. “I bet you have.” I moaned as he leaned in and took my cock into his mouth again. After about a minute, I gently pulled his head off. “I can’t cum right now. I need to recharge.” “Okay,” he grinned as he sat back up. He laid back and stroked his cock until it became erect. “I’m still fucking horny,” he said as he began to masturbate more quickly. I cupped my hand over his balls and licked his nipples. “Oh, yeah,” he moaned. A minute later his body rose from the ground and a small amount of cum oozed from his cock head. He laid back and covered his eyes with his hand as he tried to catch his breath. I ran my hand gently over his body, admiring his beautiful, smooth skin. He opened his eyes and watched me as I played with his curly blond pubic hairs. “Like what you see?” he giggled. I looked down and grinned. “You’d do in a rush.” I laid back and rested my head against his shoulder. “You would too,” he muttered softly. I closed my eyes and listened to him breathing softly. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me tighter to him. I thought about how much my life had changed over the past four hours. I had smoked weed, got drunk and had my first sexual experience. I looked up into the sky and tears appeared in my eyes. I looked at the blurry stars and wondered what my mother would think of me now. Did she somehow look down on me and see what I had done? “Sorry,” I cried softly. “What?” Wade sat up and looked at me. “Nothing.” I rolled over on my side, trying to hide the tears from him. He scooted closer and put his arm around me. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispered gently in my ear. “Yeah, sure,” I responded softly as tears flowed down my cheek and wetted the ground below.
  13. Ronyx

    Chapter 3

    I decided to go back to school the next morning. Since it was a Friday, Gabe thought I should just wait until Monday; but I was getting bored sitting around the house. Besides, either he or his whore would stop in and check on us during the day. He hadn’t yet moved back into the house, but I knew it could be any day. Right now he was letting Aunt Barbara spend the night; but I heard him tell her that she should be expecting to return home shortly. I still couldn’t imagine having to live in the same house with him. In fact, I had decided I wasn’t going to. I knew it was impossible for the two of us to live under the same roof. My plan was to make him hate me so much that he would agree for me to live with Aunt Barbara and Uncle Roger. It would mean that I wouldn’t see Andrew and Melinda as often, but I was willing to make the sacrifice if it meant I didn’t have to live in our house. Gabe was walking up the drive as I was coming out the door. A wide grin appeared on his face. I knew he still hadn’t gotten used to seeing me with short hair. “Don’t say it,” I admonished him before bursting out in laughter. He threw his arm around my shoulder and we walked to the end of the drive to await the bus. “You ready to do this again?” he asked worriedly. I hadn’t been in school for almost three weeks. I had remained by my mother’s side the final week. Then there was the funeral. Gabe had been bringing me my homework assignments, but I had only done a few assignments in biology. I was hoping that the teachers would give me more time to complete them. “I don’t know,” I replied sadly as I sat down on the curb and peered down the street for the yellow monster to appear. I looked over at Gabe. “I mean, what’s the use anymore?” Gabe reached out and placed his hand on my shoulder. “You can’t think like that, Richie.” Tears started to form in my eyes. “I wanted to make her feel proud of me,” I said as I wiped away the tears that were starting to fall down my cheek. “Why bother anymore.” I stood and walked away. Gabe walked up beside me and put his hand on my back. “She’s still watching you, Richie,” he assured me. “She’s proud of you.” “Watching me from where, Gabe?” I asked. “Heaven?” I started laughing. “Yeah, I’m sure that’s where she is. God took her away from us so that she could be with Him.” I wiped more tears away. “Some God He is.” “Don’t do this, Richie.” Gabe reached out and grabbed my arm. “Do what?” I shouted. “Feel sorry for myself?” I was wiping tears away with my hands. “What am I supposed to do? Act like nothing happened?” I shouted louder. “Is that what I’m supposed to do, Gabe?” I looked down the street and saw the school bus approaching. Gabe grabbed my arm and led me back up the drive. The bus driver honked the horn and opened the door. “You guys getting on?” Gabe waved him off and he pulled away. Gabe took my arm and led me back down the drive. We turned left and started the long walk to school. I knew he didn’t want me to get on the bus with my eyes all red and puffy. We had walked to school many times when one of us had missed the bus. It meant that we would be about fifteen minutes late to school. The school had an automated phone system that called your home and left a recorded message. Mom never got too upset since she knew I had left late, but it usually meant that Gabe would receive some sort of punishment. Even though I was usually the reason for his late arrival to school, he never complained. I would make it up to him by going over to his house and helping him with whatever chore his mother had given him as punishment. I used to tease him how his family had the cleanest garage in the neighborhood. I know he wanted me to talk because he kept looking over at me. But he knew that I wouldn’t until I was ready. After being best friends for so many years, he knew when to keep quiet. He knew I’d eventually come to him and talk. After getting a late pass, I headed to my first period class. The teacher looked sympathetically at me as she took it and handed me the day’s assignment. “I’m so sorry, Richie,” she said as I walked to my seat. Everyone in class was watching me as I sat down. A couple of kids giggled when they noticed my hair had been shaved off. I was somewhat of an oddity. At fifteen, most of them had never known anyone close who had died. I could remember a couple of my classmates losing a grandparent, but none had lost their mother. Jennifer Wheeler lost an older brother in a motorcycle accident when we were in the third grade, but most of us were too young to really comprehend death. Now we were old enough to understand. Most of them were probably thinking, ‘I’m glad it was him and not me.’ I had been working on the paper for about ten minutes when Mrs. Livingstone called me to her desk. She looked sadly at me as I sat down. “I’m sorry about your mother, Richie.” She reached out and touched my arm. I quickly pulled it back. I shrugged my shoulders. “It’s okay, Mrs. Livingstone.” “You’re such a brave young man,” she said as she looked at me and smiled warmly. I sighed. “Look, Mrs. Livingstone.” I wasn’t in the mood to receive someone’s pity. I thought I would be prepared for it when I returned, but I realized I wasn’t. I just wanted to be left alone. “I’d really like to finish the assignment.” I started to get up, but she put out her hand and stopped me. “I’m excusing you from the work you’ve missed, Richie.” “Why?” I asked angrily. “Am I some kind of a charity case?” A surprised look appeared on her face. “No, of course not,” she said quickly. “I just thought that after what you’ve been through it would be best not to add more stress to your life.” I looked into her face and laughed. I didn’t mean to be rude, but I found the situation comical. I was no longer Richie Ferguson. I was now Richie, the poor boy who lost his mother. That was now how everyone was going to see me. “I’ve got to finish my class work,” I said as I got up. “Gabe Dyson has been bringing my assignments to me. If you’ll give me a little time, I’ll have them done for you.” She looked worriedly at me and nodded her head. “If there’s anything...” I walked away and didn’t hear the rest of her sentence. ********* “How’s things going?” Gabe asked as I sat down at the cafeteria table. The room was loud with excitement since we had a big basketball game that evening. Gabe had on his purple and yellow jersey with a large number 4 on the back. The table was filled with other basketball players. Even though I didn’t play, just being Gabe’s best friend entitled me to sit with them. Besides, I had known most of the guys since the first grade. Again, they looked at my shaved head, but no one said anything about it. Truman Howard was the first to look over at me. “Richie,” he apologized. “I’m really sorry about your mother.” I nodded. “Look, Guys,” I said. “I really appreciate your sympathy, but right now I’d just like to kind of forget about things. Okay?” They looked at me and nodded. A minute later they were talking excitedly about the upcoming game. Gabe, however, kept looking over with a worried look. When the bell rang, he followed me out of the cafeteria. As I started to leave, he gently grabbed my arm and stopped me. “You all right, Rich?” “Yeah, sure,” I tried to smile. “Why wouldn’t I be all right?” He looked sympathetically down at me. “Will you be at the game tonight? I can ask Dad to pick you up if you don’t mind going early.” “Let me call you later, okay?” He nodded as I turned and headed down the hall to my next class. As I was heading to sixth period, the last class of the day, someone grabbed my arm and wrapped theirs around mine. I didn’t even have to look to know who it was. It was Becky Reynolds. Becky liked to think of me as her boyfriend, but I had never given her any reason to believe that. I also hadn’t given her a reason to believe I wasn’t. We dated occasionally, but it was usually with other couples. I had quickly kissed her a few times when I dropped her off at her home after a date, but I usually felt guilty afterwards. However, I was a teen in high school, and it was expected that you dated someone of the opposite sex. “Hey, Hon,” she said sweetly as she kissed me on the cheek. “I tried to talk to you at the church but you were always with your family.” I turned and replied angrily, “I wasn’t with my family.” She gave me a puzzled look. “Oh,” she exclaimed. She knew my father didn’t live with us, but she didn’t know the resentment I felt for him. Only Gabe was aware of that. She looked up at my head and gave me a puzzled look. “Why did you cut your hair?” she asked. “I liked it the way it was.” “Look, Becky,” I said as I pulled my arm away from hers. “I’m going to be late to class.” “Sure, Hon.” My lips curled into a frown. I hated her little words of endearment. I leaned over and quickly kissed her gently on her cheek. “Are you going to the game tonight?” She nodded. “Then I’ll look for you. I’ll be going early. I’m riding with Gabe.” She returned my kiss. “See you there, Babe,” she cooed as she hurried off down the hallway. ******** I knew something was wrong when I returned home. Since it was a game night, Gabe went home without first coming to my house and playing some video games. I would usually grab a bag of potato chips and a couple of Mountain Dews before an intense game of Grand Theft Auto on my Xbox. We were pretty evenly matched and neither of us could claim ourselves as the champion. “What’s that?” Gabe asked as he noticed some furniture stacked up along side the garage. “Dunno,” I replied. “Looks like a bed or something.” “I thought your old man was going to move in, not move out,” he said. Suddenly, I felt a large knot growing inside my stomach. “I’ll catch you later,” I said as I hurried toward the house. “Six!” Gabe hollered as I rushed into the house. I ran up the stairs and into my room. Someone had come in while I was in school and completely redecorated it. My queen size bed was replaced with two twin beds. There were plaid covers on the beds and matching drapes. I threw my book bag down on the floor and looked angrily around the room. I then ran across the hall to Andrew’s room. His had been redecorated also. Instead of a twin bed, two beds designed like racing cars were on opposite sides of the room. The covers and matching drapes contained designs of cars. “Cool, huh?” Andrew squealed as he ran into the room and started jumping up and down on his bed. He was followed by a young boy. He entered the room and timidly watched Andrew’s excited antics. “What’s going on?” I asked. “This is mine and Harley’s room,” Andrew responded excitedly. “Dad said we could have it any way we wanted.” He looked at Harley and smiled. “We wanted cars. Isn’t this the neatest room?” He pulled the younger boy onto the bed and they both started dancing atop it. I hurried back to my room and began yanking the covers off the beds. I knew what he was planning to do. He expected me and Freddy to share MY room. As I was removing the curtain rods and throwing the drapes across the room, he walked in. “What the hell are you doing, Richard?” He walked across the room and stood before me. I looked behind him and saw Freddy looking nervously into the room. “You’re not going to do this!” I screamed as I tossed the drape at him. “This is MY room!” I shouted. “I’m not going to share it with your whore’s son!” I didn’t see his fist coming toward me, but stars appeared when it made contact with the left side of my head. I reeled back and lost my balance as I fell to the floor. It took me a few seconds to realize he had hit me. I then jumped up and lunged at him. “You Mother Fucker!” I screamed as I hit him repeatedly on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and tried to prevent me from hitting him. “Richard, Stop!” He screamed as he tightened his grip. “I’m Richie, You Fucker!” I screamed as I tried to free my arms so I could hit him again. “Stop it, Son!” He replied as he tried to hold my arms down to my side. “I’m not your fucking son!” I yelled as I spit in his face. “You gave up that right when you left us to go live with that whore!” He raised his fist again, but Freddy ran into the room and grabbed his hand. “Stop, Mr. Ferguson!” he shouted. “Don’t hit him anymore!” he pleaded. He loosened his grip and I managed to squeeze out from under his arms. He walked over and sat down on the side of the bed. Freddy sat down beside him. Both looked up at me. “I hate you!” I screamed as I looked down at the two of them. “I hope you go to Hell!” I looked at my father and rubbed the side of my face. My temple was throbbing from the blow he had just thrown. He started to get up, “I’m sorry, Son,” he said as he approached me with his arms extended. “Fuck you!” I shouted as I fled from the room. I ran down the stairs and opened the front door. I continued to run down the street until I approached Gabe’s house. I ran onto his porch and collapsed on a bench. It took me about ten minutes to calm myself down enough to finally knock on the door. Mr. Dyson, Gabe’s father, opened it. “Come in, Richie,” he said worriedly as he looked at the side of my face. “Are you all right, Son?” “Yes, Sir,” I lied. “A book fell out of my locker and hit me on the side of my face. Can I go up and see Gabe?” I pleaded before tears started to appear in my eyes. “Of course,” he replied as he stepped aside. I ran up the stairs and burst into Gabe’s room. He was lying naked on his bed, masturbating to a Playboy magazine. “Jesus, Rich!” he shouted as he pulled the sheet over his naked body. “Can’t a guy have a little privacy?” “I can’t take it,” I cried as I sat on the side of the bed, buried my head in my hands and started sobbing. Gabe reached down, took his shorts off the floor and put them on. He then scooted over and sat down beside me. “What happened?” I turned my face and showed him the side of my face. “The son of a bitch hit me!” I cried. I got up, walked over to the mirror and looked at the bruise on my face. I then turned back to Gabe. “I hate him!” “God, Richie,” Gabe said as he got up and felt the side of my face. I winced in pain. “You want my Dad to call the police?” “Yeah, right,” I replied. “He’s a cop, remember? He’s friends with every other cop in this town. He’ll just tell them I fell down the steps and they’ll believe him.” “What are you going to do?” “I’ll tell you what I’m not going to do,” I replied angrily. “I’m not going to live in the same house with him and that whore he calls a girlfriend. He already changed my room so that Freddy guy can move in with me.” “You can go live with your aunt and uncle,” he suggested. “He already said we can’t do that,” I informed him. “He said he’d take them to court if they tried to take us from him.” I started pacing around the room trying to decide what my options were. At fifteen, however, I didn’t have any. I stopped and looked at Gabe. “I can run away!” I exclaimed. “Good idea, Rich,” Gabe said sarcastically. “Now just tell me where you are going to go.” I shrugged my shoulders. The only other relatives I had were his. Mom only has one sister and no brothers. Both her parents are dead, and his mother is still alive. They would give him a call as soon as I walked through the door. Besides, they lived about five states away. “I’ll find someplace to go,” I insisted. He stood before me and held out his hand. “What?” “Give me your wallet.” “Why?” “Just give it to me.” I reached into my back pocket and handed him my wallet. He opened it, took out the bills inside and counted them. He looked up at me. “Nine dollars,” he announced. “That should get you pretty far.” “I’ve got some money in a savings account,” I insisted. “And just how much is that?” I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe about $350.” “Wow,” laughed Gabe. “You really are rich.” “Shut up,” I said sadly as I sat on the side of the bed. “What am I going to do?” He shrugged his shoulders and sat down beside me. “I wish I had an answer for you, Richie,” he replied as he threw his arm around my shoulder. “You know if things get too bad, you can always come here.” “Yeah, I know.” Gabe started to smile as he grabbed my arm and led me to his computer table. “Let’s play a game before we have to leave.” I tried to resist but he pulled on my arm harder. “I gotta make up for the last time we played. You kicked my ass.” “Yeah, I laughed. “You did kind of suck.” “Suck this then,” he laughed as he grabbed his crotch and pulled on it. “In your dreams, Bitch,” I grinned as I headed over to this desk and sat down. ‘If he only knew,’ I thought Gabe’s mother invited me to stay for dinner. As he always did before a game, Gabe ate very little. I didn’t have an appetite either, so both our plates were left almost untouched. “I don’t know why I bothered to cook,” his mother sighed as she started to clean the table. Gabe and his father spent the next half hour talking about the game. His father was his biggest admirer and attended all the games. He had played basketball in college, so he was always trying to give Gabe pointers. “Keep playing like you are, Son,” he said, “and you’re sure to get an athletic scholarship.” Gabe was beaming with pride. Just then the phone rang, and Mr. Dyson got up to answer it. He returned a few minutes later with a concerned look on his face. “Is everything all right at home?” he asked as he sat down and took a sip from his coffee cup. “Yes, Sir,” I responded. I gave Gabe a puzzled look. He shrugged his shoulders. “That was a call from your father,” he informed me. Anger began to build inside me. “He wants me to drop you off at home when I take Gabe to the game.” “What?” I stood and look angrily down at him. “He said something about some unfinished business to discuss with you.” He then looked at the bruise on the side of my face. “Are you sure you got that from a book falling out of your locker?” I crossed my arms defiantly and stated, “I’m not going home.” Mr. Dyson looked worriedly at me. “Tell me what’s going on, Richie. I can’t help you if you won’t tell me.” I refused to say anything. He then looked at Gabe. “Do you know what’s going on?” “Gabe has nothing to do with this!” I shouted. A surprised look appeared on his father’s face from my outburst. “I’m not going home to that son of a bitch!” “Richie!” Mrs. Dyson had entered the dining room from the kitchen. “Your language, Young Man.” I glared at her before turning back to Gabe’s father. “I’m not going home, Mr. Dyson. If you don’t want to take me to the game with Gabe, then I’ll walk.” I turned and headed to the door. “Richie!” Gabe hollered. “Wait up.” He ran up to me as I was walking down the sidewalk. “Where are you going?” he asked worriedly. “What are you going to do?” I turned and stared into the face of my concerned friend. “I don’t know, Gabe.” I reached out and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. It was the first time we had ever done that. I pulled away and wiped the tears from my eyes that were quickly forming. “I love you, okay?” I cried. I could hardly see him standing before me. “No matter what happens, I love you.” He reached out for me, but I pulled away and started running. “Richie!” His voice echoed in my ears as I ran away.
  14. Ronyx

    Chapter 2

    A will only covers possessions, so if she had written a will, it would not include the children. 'Dick' since he is their biological father would have the right to child custody under the law, I believe. Any lawyers in here?
  15. Ronyx

    Chapter 2

    Andrew was lying on my bed asleep as I sat at my computer reading some of the email from my friends. Most were telling me how sorry they were that my mother had died. A few were ecards, mostly from girls. I wasn’t the most popular guy at school, like Gabe, but I had a lot of friends. I have known most of them since elementary school. It also helps that our home has a large pool in the backyard. It became the hangout for my friends during the hot, summer months. I’m not very athletic, but I do like to swim. Since I’m rather small at 5’6” I’m not exactly basketball material. I wouldn’t know how to throw a football if I had to. Three summers ago, Gabe and a few other guys convinced me to play tag football in a field down the street from our house. Gabe became frustrated because every time he passed me the ball, I managed to fumble it. Soon, I found myself sitting on the sidelines watching the others play. Gabe is a good friend. He’s been with me through the past three years. There were times I felt I couldn’t hang on anymore, but he was always there to lend me a strong shoulder to cry on. My mother adored him. A smile would appear on her face when we entered a room together. She would find our height difference amusing. He towers over me at 6’4” and outweighs me by about 50 pounds. She would laugh and tell us we looked like Mutt and Jeff- whoever they are. Two years ago when my mother was really sick, he would stay most nights with me. We slept together in my king-sized bed. Late one night the moon was shining through the window and it was hitting Gabe’s face. I lay for an hour watching him as he slept. Suddenly, something in me just clicked. I can’t really explain it. It was like in a cartoon where a light bulb goes on over someone’s head. That’s what it seemed like. In that brief moment, as I watched Gabe sleep, a revelation swept over me- I was gay. It was like a defining moment for me. Years from now when someone asks me when did I first realize I was gay, I’ll tell them it was the night I watched Gabe sleeping beside me and I wanted to scoot next to him and wrap by body around his. For a while after that I thought it was because I was experiencing a lot of emotion dealing with my mother’s illness and his absence; but the more I thought about it, I began to realize it was more than that. I would watch Gabe as he undressed in front of me, and I would stare at his soft dick. Mine would harden, and I would have to wrap a towel around the front of me so he couldn’t see. I would watch his long, lithe body swimming effortlessly through the water, and I wanted to sit him on the side of the pool and satisfy my sexual desires that were becoming stronger each day. But I didn’t. And I never told Gabe how I felt, although I’m sure he would have probably laughed it off and called me a perv. He has a couple of gay friends at school, so I knew he wouldn’t have abandoned me as a friend. I just couldn’t tell him. I think it was more of not telling myself. I pushed it to the back of my mind. I had too many other problems to deal with. My mother was dying of cancer and he had left us for another woman. I had suddenly become the man of the family. I had a younger brother and sister to protect. My sexuality would wait for another day. At fifteen it wasn’t a pressing issue. I could satisfy myself in bed late at night or in the morning shower. I didn’t need another issue to deal with. I jumped when my door flew open. He was standing in the doorway with an angry look on his face. “Why are you up here in your room and not downstairs with our guests?” Andrew leapt from the bed, ran over and jumped into my lap. “I want both of you downstairs, now!” He pointed toward the stairs. “I don’t want to,” I replied defiantly. His eyes narrowed as a look of anger formed on his face. He walked over and stood before me. His arms were crossed as he peered angrily at me. “You don’t have a choice,” he said as he reached down and grabbed Andrew from my lap. He started screaming and kicking in an attempt to get away. I stood up and faced him. “Leave him alone!” I screamed as I pulled him back into my arms. “Leave us all alone!” I screamed louder. He started to strike me but drew his hand back before his fist hit the side of my face. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that, Richard!” he shouted. “I’m your father.” Before I realized what I was saying, my mouth screamed, “You’re a damn sperm donor!” I had read the term in an online story and found it appropriate to describe him. However, then wasn’t the right time to say it. He shook his fist violently at me. I could tell he was filled with as much rage as I was feeling. “You’re grounded!” he screamed. He reached past me and yanked the keyboard from my computer. “You can’t ground me!” I fought to retrieve my keyboard from his hand. “Watch me!” he shouted as he stepped back. I was too small to continue to try and fight him. Besides, Andrew was crying, and he was trying to get me to stop. Tears started to fall down my face. I didn’t want him to know he had upset me, but I was filled with too much anger to stop them. He had started to walk toward the door. “I hate you!” I screamed. “I fucking hate you!” He turned and stood in a pose as if he were speaking to one of his apprehensions. “You can feel what you like towards me,” he said quietly. “But until you are eighteen, you are my son and I have authority over you.” His eyes narrowed once again in anger. “You will do as I tell you, and right now I am telling you to get your rebellious ass downstairs.” He walked over and took a screaming Andrew by the hand and started to lead him away. “You have five minutes or I’m going to come up here and drag you down there. If that’s what you want, then fine.” He gave me a final glare and then pulled Andrew from the room. “Fuck you!” I screamed as he slammed the door shut. I waited seven minutes until I finally went downstairs. I figured if I waited any longer, he would probably come back up and do what he threatened. I knew from past experiences that he always did what he said he would do. When I was twelve, I went to play basketball at a friend’s house. He told me to be home by 8 pm or he’d come get me. I was having fun, and I wasn’t paying attention to the time. I heard a car speeding down the road and squeal to a stop. It was him. He stormed out of the car, came over, pulled me by my shirt and threw me in the car. My friends teased me for weeks after that incident. Most of the guests were gone by the time I made my way to the living room. Andrew was sitting on my Aunt Barbara’s lap, so I went over and sat down beside her. He came walking in a few minutes later with her beside him holding his arm. They approached and he ordered me to stand. “Richard, I want you to say hello to Linda.” He gave me a threatening look as I stood mum. “Richard.” My aunt stood and faced him. “I don’t think this is the appropriate time for a confrontation.” He looked angrily at her and then at me. “I’m not trying to start a fight,” he replied. “I just want the boys to meet Linda.” I looked over at her and she appeared nervous. She attempted to pull him away, but he refused to move. He looked back at me. “I want you to say hello to Linda,” he ordered as he put his arm around her and pulled her directly in front of me. I started to turn, but Aunt Barbara grabbed my arm and whispered in my ear, “Do it, Richie. It’s not worth making a big scene right now.” I looked into her pleading eyes. “Hello, Mrs...?” I then turned to my father and said sarcastically. “What is her last name?” He glared angrily at me. She smiled and extended her hand. “Very well, Richie,” she smiled. “You may call me Mrs. Brumbaugh.” I gave him a smug look. “Hello, Mrs. Brumbaugh,” I said sweetly. “Very nice to meet you.” I then gave him another smug look before turning and walking away. He started to follow me, but she stopped him. I could hear her trying to calm him down as I walked away. I headed into the dining room and looked at the lavish array of food on the table. Several people in gray uniforms were flittering around making sure that everything looked presentable. As I grabbed a plate and placed roast beef and a few vegetables on it, I noticed someone walk up, take a plate and move around the table. He stayed close to my side as I selected items and placed them on my plate. Finally, I looked over. It was her son. I remembered him from the night I saw them in the restaurant. He was about two inches taller than me. He had brown hair that was cut short and neat. He was wearing a three-piece brown suit that made him appear extremely attractive. He had pretty blue eyes. Contact lenses, I thought. But when I took a closer look, they seemed to be his natural color. “Hi,” he said nervously. I could see the plate shaking in his hands as he reached for a cracker with cream cheese on top. “I’m Freddy Brumbaugh.” He put his plate down and extended his hand to me. My first instinct was to walk away, but he seemed genuinely interested in introducing himself to me. Besides, he was nervous, and I didn’t think it would be right to be rude to him. I put my plate down and quickly shook his hand. “Hi,” I said politely. “I’m Richie.” He let out a nervous giggle. “I know,” he said. “We go to the same school. I’m a year ahead of you.” I stared at him. I couldn’t remember ever seeing him before, except that night at the restaurant. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around school,” I replied. “No,” he said nervously. “You probably haven’t. I don’t know a lot of people there. I just started school a month ago when…” Suddenly, he stopped. I stared angrily at him. I wanted to complete his sentence. “When he moved you into the loft apartment downtown with him.” Instead, I grabbed my plate and walked back upstairs to my room. I expected him to come get me, but he didn’t. After eating, I lay down on my bed and fell asleep. I hadn’t slept very well since my mother’s death. Andrew had kept coming into my room late at night and crawling into bed with me. I wouldn’t have minded, except he tends to thrash around a lot in his sleep. Just when I’d fall asleep, I would end up with his hand slapping me in my face or his feet kicking me in my side. I was awakened when my door opened and the light from the hallway flooded my room. I opened my eyes and saw his silhouette in the doorway. “Be downstairs in five minutes,” he ordered as he slammed the door shut. I looked at the clock. It was after ten in the evening. By now all the guests should have left, so why did he want me downstairs? I considered rolling back over and going to sleep, but I didn’t want to have him come back to my room and drag me downstairs. When I went downstairs, I looked around but didn’t see anyone. The dinner table had been cleared and it was set with its usually arrangement on top. I could hear voices coming from the family room. I heard my uncle’s voice first. “Richard, we really don’t mind taking them into our home. It’s what Judith wanted.” I then heard his deep voice. “They are my children!” he shouted. “They will live with me!” I walked into the room and saw him sitting in a wingback chair. My sister and brother were crowded together on the sofa with Aunt Barbara and Uncle Raymond. My uncle seemed very upset. She was sitting in a chair beside him while Freddy was sitting quietly in a chair on the other side of the room. He was holding a sleeping boy that appeared to be about Andrew’s age. “What’s going on?” I looked over at my uncle. “Sit down, Richard,” he ordered. “It’s Richie,” I insisted. I hated him calling me his name. He looked at me and scowled. “Sit down, Richard!” he hissed angrily. I walked over, picked up Andrew and sat down, placing him in my lap. He then looked at Uncle Raymond. “As we were discussing, the children are going to live with me.” “What?” I stood up and shouted. “We’re supposed to live with Uncle Raymond! That’s what Mom wanted.” “Your mother isn’t here now!” he barked back as he stood before me. “I’m your father and you will live with me.” “I’m not living with you downtown with them!” I yelled back, looking at her and Freddy. She looked sympathetically at me. Freddy was looking down at his brother. It appeared he would rather be anywhere but in our family room listening to me and my father argue. He sat back down, crossed his legs and folded his hands in front of him. He then looked over at her and smiled. “We’ll be living here,” he announced. “Together.” “What!” I looked around the room. Even Freddy seemed to have a surprised look on his face. It was obvious this hadn’t been discussed with him, either. My aunt stood and stared down at him. “Richard,” she said angrily. “You can’t bring them into this house to live.” “Why not?” he responded. “It is my house. He walked over and lifted Melinda up from the sofa and wrapped his arms around her. “And the last time I checked, these are my children.” “But Richard…” my aunt started to speak but he cut her off. “This isn’t open for discussion,” he replied in his detective voice. “They will live here with me and Linda. And if you try to stop me,” he looked angrily at Aunt Barbara, “You will lose. I’ve already gotten an attorney ready to respond to any challenge.” “Fuck this!” I screamed. He approached me with his fist balled up, but Uncle Raymond stepped between us. “I’m not living here with you!” “I’m your father, Richard!” he yelled back. “You will do as I say!” “You’re not my father!” I screamed as I looked down at her. “Not since you left Mom to go fuck her!” He reached around my uncle and grabbed my arm. “You insolent child!” he screamed. “Your mother was too soft on you children.” “Don’t you mention Mom’s name!” My body was shaking with anger. “I hate you!” I started to run from the room. Before leaving I stopped and stared defiantly at him. “I wish it was you who had died!” Tears started falling from my face as I raced up the stairs and slammed my door shut. I could hear my father and uncle still arguing. I went into my bathroom to get some tissue to wipe the tears from my eyes. I looked into the mirror. My eyes were puffy and red. I looked at my face and saw him looking back. There was no doubt I was his son with my dark black hair and brown eyes. I hated looking like him. I pulled open a drawer and took out a pair of scissors. A few minutes later my curly, black hair was lying at my feet. ******** Melinda grabbed her mouth and giggled when I entered the kitchen the next morning. Andrews’s mouth dropped and soon he too was laughing. I walked over to the kitchen island and sat down. Soon, I too was laughing. The night before it had seemed like a good idea to cut my hair so that I wouldn’t look like him; but after seeing my haircut in the mirror after I got up, I realized I had made a mistake. It looked like someone had taken a weed whacker to my head. “Why did you do that?” Andrew giggled. “It looks stupid.” “I don’t know,” I replied as I ran my hand through my hair. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.” I heard someone pounding on the back door. When I turned, Gabe took one look at me and fell to the deck and started laughing. After a minute, he stood up and came walking into the room, holding his sides and laughing uproariously. “What in the hell happened to you, Richie?” he laughed. “Did you step underneath a helicopter?” Melinda and Andrew started giggling. “Funny, Asshole,” I replied as I got up and headed to my room. “Hold up, Rich,” he said as he grabbed my arm. “Go to your room and I’ll be back in a sec.” He turned and hurried to the door. Before leaving, he turned and let out a loud laugh. I flipped him off and then went to my room. I was at my computer when he returned, carrying a set of clippers. “What are you going to do?” I asked. “Let’s go to your bathroom,” he said as he pulled me up by my arm. Once inside, he told me to remove my shirt and sit on the toilet. He then took a towel hanging nearby and wrapped it around my shoulders. I asked worriedly, “What are you going to do?” “Cut your hair,” he said as he turned on the clippers. I turned and grabbed his hand. “Do you know how?” “Yeah, sure,” he replied confidently. “I cut Grover’s hair all the time.” I stood and shouted, “Grover is your cocker spaniel!” “Hair is hair,” he replied. He pushed my shoulder. “Now sit back down. If I can cut his hair, I can cut yours.” “You better not fuck it up.” He looked at me and howled. I tried not to laugh, but soon found myself bursting out in laughter. “I guess you can’t do any worse than I did.” “Guess not,” he replied as he placed the clippers to my scalp and started to remove what remained of my hair. When he finished, I stood and looked at myself in the mirror. I ran my hand over the dark stubble. I still had his eyes, but now with my hair gone I didn’t think I looked so much like him. “What do you think, Dirtwad?” Gabe asked as he ran his big hand over my head. “You never did say why you wanted your hair so short.” “Don’t know,” I lied as I left the bathroom and sat on the side of my bed. “What’s up, Rich?” Gabe looked into my face. He could always tell when something was wrong. “He’s gonna fuck up my life,” I moaned as I lay back on the bed and covered my eyes with my left arm. I was afraid I was going to cry. It wasn’t that I didn’t want Gabe to see my tears. He had seen plenty over the past two years. I just didn’t want to cry because of him. If I did, then I felt he won. “Who?” “Him.” I stated. “Who is him?” I sat up and faced my friend. “You know, him.” I couldn’t even bring myself to say father. “You mean your Dad?” I looked at Gabe and frowned. “He’s not my father,” I replied angrily. “He’s my sperm donor.” Gabe lay back on the bed and laughed. “Yeah,” he said as he sat up and looked at me. I could tell he was trying hard not to laugh. “And the best part of you dribbled down his left leg.” It took me a few seconds to realize what he had said. Soon I was laughing with him. “Shut up, Fucker,” I said as I flipped him off. “So, what’s the matter?” He looked over and gave me a puzzled look. “You said he’s going to fuck up your life.” I looked at him and frowned. “He’s going to move that bitch in here.” “You mean his girlfriend.” “No,” I replied angrily. “I mean his bitch. And that’s not all. Listen to this; he’s moving her kids in here too.” Gabe wiggled his eyebrows. “Are any of them young and cute?” “Yeah,” I laughed. “If you like ‘em with a dick.” “Sorry,” he frowned. “Not my thing.” ‘I know,’ I thought. “Do you know a guy by the name of Freddy Brumbaugh?” Gabe thought a minute and shook his head. “Is that the kid’s name?” “Yeah,” I replied. “He’s a year ahead of us. You probably wouldn’t know him. He’s a junior and he just started at our school.” “Wait a minute,” Gabe said excitedly. “I do know who he is. Does he have brown hair and blue eyes?” “Yeah,” I said. “Do you know him?” “I’ve never talked to him,” he replied. “But he’s in my computer science class. He came in about three weeks ago.” He looked at me and whispered, “Rumor is, he’s gay.” “What!” I shouted. “Shhh,” Gabe put his finger to his lips. I don’t know why he was being so quiet about this. No one was around to hear us. “I heard Vicki Tipton tried to talk to him.” He started to grin. “You know how big a whore she is.” “So what happened?” I asked excitedly. “She cornered him in an aisle in the library and rubbed her tits against him,” he replied. “Now any normal guy would have gotten all hot, but she said he turned all red and flew out of the library. He even left his book bag at the table.” “That doesn’t mean he’s gay,” I responded. “Maybe he doesn’t like sluts.” “Don’t know,” he shrugged his shoulders. “When she rubbed her tits against me once, I reached out and felt them.” “You felt her tits?” I shouted. “Shhhh,” he said as his face reddened. “Yeah, sure. Wouldn’t you if she put them in your face?” My face reddened as I fought for the right answer. Gabe gave me a puzzled look when I didn’t reply quickly. “You would, wouldn’t you, Richie?” “Yeah, sure,” I managed to stammer out. “Good,” he said as he pretended to wipe the sweat from his face. “You had me worried there for a minute, Richie. I was beginning to think you may be like Freddy.” I was tempted to ask him if he would hate me if I did say I was like Freddy. It was my opportunity to finally come out to my best friend. I knew deep down he wouldn’t hate me, but I couldn’t take that step. At least not yet.
  16. Ronyx

    Chapter 19

    @Cachondeo You're right. I changed the name in the story as I was writing it, and I guess I missed this chapter. Thanks! Surprised it wasn't mentioned before.
  17. Ronyx

    Dancing on a Star

    @Page ScrawlerI love Billy Elliot! I've seen it about a dozen times, and we've traveled hundreds of miles to catch it in local theaters in four different states. We are going to see it in August, but we don't have to travel too far. I wish it would tour professionally in the U.S. again. Express Yourself!!
  18. Ronyx

    Chapter 4

    I couldn’t believe it when Tracy entered the class with Jeff. Everyone knows Jeff is gay. He’s been out since the seventh grade. I wanted to warn Tracy to be careful. I motioned for him to sit beside me, but he and Jeff headed to the back of the room. A few students turned to watch them as they took a seat. I knew it meant trouble when Wendy Suttmiller turned to Jennifer Baker and asked, “Who’s the new kid? He’s really cute.” Jennifer laughed and replied, “Forget it, Wendy. If he’s with Jeff, then he obviously plays for the other side.” “Too bad,” said Wendy. “The cute ones are always gay.” I quickly looked away when she turned and looked at me. Occasionally, I would look to the back of the room as Mr. Glicker droned on about intersection points. I’m not the brightest math student, but even I didn’t need to have it explained for about the tenth time. I noticed Jeff glancing over at Tracy and giggle several times. Once he saw me look back and quickly turned his head. All I could think of was how I could get to Tracy and warn him about Jeff. I mean, Jeff seems to be a great guy. He’s small and really cute. His hair is long, and it falls down across his face. It looks streaked, like he dyes a blond coloring into this light brown hair. I think it looks awesome. I once considered asking Mom if she would color my hair like that, but then I thought she might question why I would want to wear my hair like that. It kind of looks gay, and she might start to suspect something. I’ve been a distant admirer of Jeff’s for several years. There have been many times I wanted to walk up to him and start talking, but I knew I would be ridiculed by the other guys if I did. Since the seventh grade, there has been an unspoken agreement among the guys that no one would speak to Jeff. No one bothers him anymore, and most of us just ignore him. I know it sounds cruel, but that is sometimes how things work in a school. You would never find it in a rule book, but it does exist. Tracy is new, and he doesn’t understand. I had to get to him and warn him somehow. I thought I could perhaps do it at lunch. It didn’t work out that way. When I went to lunch, I waited outside the door to the cafeteria and waited for Tracy to appear. When he came walking down the hall, Jeff was by his side. He glanced at me when he passed, but he didn’t say anything. After going through the lunch line, I sat at the table beside Jimmy. Usually, it is me, Jimmy and our friends Tyler and Brian. As we were eating, Tyler looked over and noticed Tracy and Jeff sitting together at a table a few rows from ours. “What the hell?” he exclaimed. “Does Jeff have a new boyfriend?” Jimmy looked over and frowned. He then looked over at me and said, “I told you he was a poof.” Brian asked, “What’s a poof?” “A cocksucker,” replied Jimmy. Brian asked, “Who is that kid? I’ve never seen him before.” “He’s Jack’s new neighbor,” informed Jimmy. “I knew he was gay when he was doing that weird thing in his bedroom.” Tyler laughed, pretended to jerk off and said, “We all do weird things in our bedroom.” “Naw,” exclaimed Jimmy, “Not that. He’s a fucking ballerina.” He looked over at me and asked, “Ain’t he Jack? Tell them what we saw.” My faced reddened. I didn’t know what to say. It was strange what Tracy had done the other night. It was like he was dancing like a ballerina. “Go on,” dared Jimmy. “Tell them what we saw the poof doing.” “Would you quit using that word,” I said rather angrily. I looked over quickly at Tracy and remarked, “If he’s gay, he’s gay.” Jimmy got really upset. “If he’s gay, he’s gay? What kind of shit is that?” I was relieved when Brian took my side. “It’s true, Jimmy,” he said. “It really isn’t any of our business.” “I don’t care what you guys think,” replied Jimmy. That shit ain’t right.” He looked over at Tracy and Jeff as they laughed about something Jeff had said. Jimmy looked over at me and warned, “You better stay away from him.” Just then, the bell rang, and we stood. I glanced over and watched as Tracy and Jeff walked together as they left the cafeteria. On the way to class, I began to get upset with Jimmy. We had been best friends for years. However, what right did he have to tell me who I could talk to? If I wanted to talk to Tracy, or even Jeff, why did I need his permission to do it? By the time school ended, I had determined that I would talk to Tracy if I wanted to. I headed home without waiting for Jimmy, but he managed to catch up with me about two blocks from school. “Why didn’t you wait on me?” He bent over and tried to catch his breath. “I had to run to catch up with you.” “Sorry,” I said without giving him any explanation. I didn’t want to tell him the real reason was that I was mad at him for what he said at lunch. Just then, I looked down the street and saw Tracy approaching. Jimmy noticed him, grabbed my arm and tried to pull me away. “Let’s get out of here,” he said as he jerked on my arm. “I don’t want him walking with us.” I pulled away and looked angrily at him. “Jimmy, it ain’t right,” I said. “Tracy is new to school, and he might need friends.” “Well, you can go suck his dick,” he responded angrily. “I don’t want nothing to do with the poof.” I balled my fist and felt like hitting Jimmy. Before I got a chance, he turned and headed for home. I waited for Tracy. He was stone-faced as he approached. I attempted a smile, but he appeared like he had earlier in the day. For some reason, I felt he didn’t like me. “Hey,” I smiled as I greeted him. “Hi,” he said as he walked past me. I ran to catch up to him. I looked over and asked, “Why are you being such a dick?” He stopped and stared at me. “What?” “Why are you being such a dick,” I repeated. “I’m trying to be friendly, and you act like you don’t want to speak.” “I already told you,” he said as he turned and headed down the sidewalk. I hurried and caught up with him. “Told me what?” He looked over as he kept walking. “You don’t want a friend like me.” I asked, “Why?” “You just don’t,” he replied as he scurried away. * * * * * * * * * I walked into the kitchen as Mom flitted around searching into several cabinets. “Where did I put the almond extract?” she muttered to herself. She looked up and noticed me standing off to the side. “Hello, Dear. How was school?” I shrugged my shoulders and replied, “It’s school.” “Do you have any homework?” “Yeah, sure,” I replied sarcastically. “When don’t I have homework?” “Well, it’s good for you,” she remarked as she opened another cabinet and looked inside. “If it’s so good for you,” I responded, “I’ll let you do it for me, then.” I grinned and added, “I’ll go do something bad.” “You do something bad?” she laughed. “That will be the day.” I sat down at the island and took a cookie out of the cookie jar. “What are you making for dinner?” “I need to find the almond extract,” she mumbled again as she opened another cabinet. “Oh, here it is,” she said excitedly as she held it up to me. “Okay,” I laughed. “I guess you found the almond extract. What do you need it for anyway?” She informed me, “I’ve invited the Craft family over for dinner, and I’m making a cake.” “The Craft family?” “Yeah,” she laughed. “You know, the new neighbors across the street.” “What are they coming here for?” I asked a little angrier than I should have. I was still upset how Tracy had treated me earlier. She smiled and replied, “I thought it was a neighborly thing to do. Now, when you finish your cookie, go do your homework. You may not have time later.” “Why?” “Your father volunteered to help Stan work on their deck after dinner.” She turned and opened another cabinet before adding, “He wants you to help.” “Me? Why?” “Because he needs your help.” “I, um, got a research project to work on,” I informed her. “I won’t have time.” “Then you better go start on it now,” she suggested. “Your father needs your help after dinner.” She then left me alone in the kitchen. “Just great,” I said to myself as I went to my room. I changed from my school clothes into something that was more comfortable- athletic shorts and a tee shirt. I then lay across my bed and fell asleep. I was awakened when the door opened, and Jimmy came barging in. “Damn!” he exclaimed. “I thought I would catch you pounding your puck.” I rolled over and pulled down my shorts slightly until just my pubes were showing. “If you want to see my dick so bad,” I giggled, “I’ll show it to you.” “Fuck that shit,” he responded. “I ain’t a fag.” He sat down beside me and asked if I wanted to go to the park and shoot some hoop. I explained that I had to finish my homework because our neighbors were coming for dinner. “What neighbors?” he asked. “That poof across the street?” “Shut up, Jimmy,” I snarled as I rose from the bed and walked across the room and looked over at the Craft house. He got up, walked over and stood beside me. “How come you get so upset every time I call that kid a poof?” “It just isn’t right,” I replied. “He’s new and you aren’t even giving it a chance to know him.” “I know all I need to know,” he replied. “I saw that shit he was doing the other day. No normal guy dances around his room like a poof. And besides, you saw him eating today with Jeff. Everyone knows Jeff is gay.” “Maybe Jeff’s the only guy who would talk to him,” I said. “You’re going around telling all our friends to stay away from him.” “You’d better do the same, Jack,” warned Jimmy. “If you hang with him, everyone is going to think you’re gay too.” I almost said, “What if I am,” but I caught myself. If I had, Jimmy would have left the room and called everyone of our friends and told them what I said. We had been friends for years, but even I knew that he would never speak to me again if he knew I was gay. I suggested, “Why don’t you stay for dinner, then you can help me and Dad work on the Craft’s deck.” “Naw, Man,” he replied. “I got better things to do.” He headed for the door. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” He left before I had a chance to say goodbye. I was working on a geometry problem when I heard the doorbell ring. I looked at the clock and it was almost six o’clock. I knew it was the Crafts coming for dinner. A few minutes later, Karen came to my door and said that I was go come down to the dining room to eat. Everyone was seated when I arrived. There was an empty seat beside Tracy, so I sat down. Mother asked Mrs. Craft is she wanted to say grace, and she did. I found it funny because we never say grace at a meal, but I guess she was trying to impress the Craft family. Actually, we go to church twice a year- at Easter and again Christmas Eve. I always hate going Christmas Eve because I would rather stay home and watch some of the Christmas shows that night. Dinner was awkward. Dad and Mr. Craft did most of the talking, mainly about the deck. Mom and Mrs. Craft shared a few recipes. I noticed Mom studying Tracy a few times. I think she was trying to figure out if he might be gay. I think her suspicions were confirmed when Mrs. Craft started talking about Tracy. She said he had been taking ballet lessons since he was seven. Even Dad seemed surprised. “Hell, Stan,” he teased Tracy’s father, “Didn’t you get the boy involved in a man’s sport like basketball.” Mr. Craft tried to explain how good a dancer Tracy is, but my father kept insisting that his skills could be better used on a court. I glanced over several times at Tracy, and he appeared to be humiliated by the talk about his enjoyment of dancing. I bit my lip when my mother asked, “Don’t girls usually take ballet? I enrolled Karen in a class a few years ago.” She looked over at me and added, “It’s not something I would consider for Jack.” Tracy pushed himself away from the table. “Mother,” he asked sharply, “May I be excused.” He then got up and left the room. I jumped when I heard the front door slam shut. “Oh, Dear,” my mother asked. “We didn’t upset him, did we?” Mr. Craft replied, “He’s a little sensitive about dancing. He’s been told all his life that it’s something girls do. We had to move here because he was having trouble in North Dakota. Kids at school were pretty harsh on him.” “Well, hell, Stan,” laughed my father. “You should have taught him a man’s sport.” “I don’t mean to be rude, Jerry,” responded Mr. Craft indignantly, “but Tracy happens to be as good as any athlete at the school. Maybe better. He’s been performing on stage since he was nine. I’m actually quite proud of him.” “Sorry, Stan,” apologized my father. “I didn’t mean anything by what I said.” Mrs. Craft interrupted, “Tracy’s been hearing this all his life. We’ve tried to encourage him in what he likes to do, but it’s difficult sometimes. People have preconceived ideas about male dancers.” “I’ve heard that most of them are gay,” responded my mother. I could tell by the look on her face, she regretted saying it. Mrs. Craft pushed herself from the table, stood and looked down at my mother. “Thank you, Ellen, for a wonderful dinner, but we must be going now.” She looked over at Mr. Craft. He stood and shook my father’s hand. “I guess we should be heading over and work on that deck,” he said. My father patted him on the back and they headed out the door with Mrs. Craft following them. “Oh, Dear,” exclaimed my mother to me. “I think I upset her.” She then asked, “You don’t think that Tracy is really gay, do you?” Before I had a chance to say anything, my father hollered out, “Come on, Jack! The deck isn’t going to get built by itself.” I turned and rushed from the house. I was becoming increasingly upset the more I thought about what my parents had said to the Crafts, especially in front of Tracy. He got up and left because he was so insulted. I can’t say that I blamed him. By their comments, it was obvious that they not only had insulted him, but also his parents. I think what upset me even more was how intolerant and insensitive their comments were. And I don’t think they even realized it. They implied to Tracy’s parents that they thought he was gay just because he liked to dance. My father even had the nerve to tell Mr. Craft that he could have made Tracy a man by putting a basketball in his hand instead of giving him dancing lessons. I don’t think Dad was aware how insulting that sounded. And if the thought of Tracy being gay seemed unacceptable to them, then how could I ever come out to them. We had never really discussed the issue of someone being gay before, but I guess I assumed that they wouldn’t be too opposed to it. We had watched a few shows before where there were gay characters, and beside a few comments, they didn’t come right out and say anything negative. Now, I’m not sure. If Tracy and I become friends, will they suspect that maybe I’m gay too? If we become really good friends, will they think that we might be having sex when we’re alone together? Not once have they thought anything when Jimmy and I have sleepovers. During the summer months when we are out of school, it’s not unusual for us to spend many nights together. We’ve never done anything, and I have never suggested it. Jimmy is as straight a guy as they come. I’ve heard a lot of guys talk about jerking off together, but I’ve never even considered doing that with Jimmy. He is just one of those guys who you know wouldn’t do something like that. When the subject of sex is mentioned, it’s always about girls. He’s been wanting to have sex with a girl since he was about thirteen. I still don’t think he’s done anything. If he had, I know he would tell me. He’s kissed a few girls after dates, but nothing more. Now I don’t know what to do. Before Tracy, things were going well. I had decided that I would keep my feelings to myself, at least until I went off to college. I have an older sister, Stephanie, who is a sophomore in college. My parents wanted her to attend a local university, but she insisted on going to State which is a hundred miles away. She often comes home on the weekend, but she seems to be happy with the independence she’s gained by attending school away. But now, Tracy may have changed my plans. I can’t just ignore him, not after what happened in the back of the van the other day. I mean, he knows I’m gay. He’s the only one who does. Yet, I can’t understand why he won’t talk to me. Maybe he isn’t gay. He did feel on me too, but maybe he did it only because I did it to him. We are young. Our dicks get hard if there is a breeze. Naturally he would get hard with me grabbing him and stroking him. Maybe that is what is wrong with him. He keeps saying I don’t need a friend like him. What if he is like Jimmy, and he’s straight. What if he thinks I’m some sort of a gay pervert going around feeling on strangers? What if he tells people what he knows about me? I don’t think he has told anyone, so maybe he won’t. All I know is I have to talk to him somehow, but that’s going to be hard since he doesn’t seem to want to talk to me. Dad and Mr. Craft were in the backyard hammering nails into the deck when I arrived. They seemed to be getting along okay, so I guess Mr. Craft wasn’t upset with Dad after all. I looked around for Tracy, but I didn’t see him. Dad looked over and said, “It’s about time you got here.” He pointed to a two-by-four. “Hand me that.” I spent the next fifteen minutes handing him boards while he and Mr. Craft hammered them into place. Mr. Craft stopped, wiped his brow and suggested that he and Dad take a break and drink a beer. “I like the way you think, Stan,” my father said as he put his hammer down. Mr. Craft looked over at me and asked, “Jack. Could you go up to Tracy’s room and see what he’s doing. I’m going to need him to help with the bigger boards after your father and I chug a few.” “Chug a few?” my father responded. “We won’t be worth two shits after a few beers.” He started laughing. “This deck will be lopsided as hell.” “Lightweight,” joked Mr. Craft. “I can down a six pack and you wouldn’t know I had anything to drink.” “Tell that to a breathalyzer test,” replied my father. He and Mr. Craft headed toward a shed where I assumed he kept the beer. Reluctantly, I went inside. Mrs. Craft was in the family room reading a story to Amelia. I walked to the door and announced, “I’m supposed to go get Tracy.” She replied, “You’ll find him in his room. Do you know where it is?” “Yes, Ma’am,” I responded politely as I turned and headed to his room. The door was slightly ajar, and I peeked inside. Tracy was in the middle of the room dancing. He was watching himself in a large mirror mounted on the wall. I couldn’t remember seeing it earlier when I helped him unpack, so it must have been installed later. I watched him for several minutes as he danced. I don’t know much about dancing, but he appeared experienced in what he was doing. He was so graceful and poised as he danced almost effortless. I remembered his father saying that he had been dancing since he was a small boy, and it was obvious he was good. I couldn’t take my eyes away from him. Suddenly, he looked in the mirror, turned and looked at the door. He had seen me watching him! He walked over, turned off the music and sat down on his bed. I jumped when he hollered out, “You might as well come in since you’ve been spying on me.” I hesitantly opened the door and walked in. “I’m sorry,” I apologized. “Your dad asked me to come get you. He says he needs you to help.” He let out a sigh, and then he stood, faced the mirror, raised his arms and twirled. I didn’t know what to do. He would twirl, stop and look at me, and then twirl again. He repeated this several times. I asked, “What are you doing?” He replied sarcastically, “You wanted to watch me dance, so I’m dancing for you.” He then twirled several more times. “Why are you doing this, Tracy?” He stopped, walked over and sat down beside me. “You don’t like watching a gay boy dance?” he asked. “Isn’t that what your father and mother thought about me?” “About that,” I apologized, “I’m sorry. They were wrong.” “Yes, they were,” he replied angrily. He rose and took off the thin shirt he was wearing. I couldn’t believe how nicely he was built. I’ve seen many athletes undress in gym class over the years, but Tracy had a better build than many of them. He stared at me as I let my eyes roam over his body. He smiled slightly, went over to the dresser, got a green shirt and pulled it over his head. I gasped when he turned back. The green shirt made his green eyes shimmer. He sat beside me and asked, “Like what you see?” I was stunned. I couldn’t believe I had been so obvious. He must have thought I was some kind of a pervert watching him undress. I stammered, “What do you mean?” He rose from the bed, walked over, closed his bedroom door and returned. He asked, “They don’t know, do they?” “Know what?” His voice became angry. “So, are we going to play this game?” “What game?” I asked. He rose, looked down and snarled, “Forget it, Jack.” He turned and left the room.
  19. Ronyx

    A Mourning Storm

    Sometimes life isn’t fair. Fifteen-year-old Richie Ferguson must learn this lesson the hard way when his mother dies of cancer and he is forced to live with a father who left the family two years earlier for another woman. Richie’s life becomes a storm, whirling around with no sense of purpose or direction. Will the tumultuous winds destroy him, or will he find a calm sea in time to save his own life?
  20. Ronyx

    Chapter 1

    I sat glaring at the back of his head. He had insisted that I sit beside him, because as he said, “It wouldn’t look right.” However, I didn’t care. My eyes glanced over at the silver casket adorned with pink carnations on top. Tears filled my eyes as I stared at the word, Mommy, spelled out in white carnations. I jumped slightly in my seat when a hand wrapped around mine. “Are you all right, Richie?” I looked into my aunt’s concerned eyes. Like mine, they were filled with tears. They were tears for a sister who she had loved until the end. Not like him. What could I say? My heart was broken. I didn’t know what to feel; so many emotions were colliding inside my mind. Should I feel sorrow? Anger? Rage? I looked at the back of his head again. This time it was bowed in prayer. Rage consumed me. I wanted to spring from the pew on which I was sitting and pound him unmercifully. “And we pray for the loved ones of Judith Ferguson,” prayed the minister dressed in a purple robe as he held his folded hands before him. I watched as he looked up and smiled gently at me. “Be with this family, Oh Lord,” he spoke solemnly. “We pray that you be with her devoted husband, Richard.” He looked up and gave me a stern look when I let out a stifled laugh. My aunt reached over and once again squeezed my hand. He turned around and our eyes met. His narrowed as my eyes filled with rage. I hated him and he knew it. The minister closed his eyes and once again continued the prayer. “We ask, Dear Lord, that you guide and protect the children whom days ago lost a mother. Let them always remember the love she shared with them for the short time she was on this earth.” My head collapsed into my aunt’s lap as she held me tightly as we both wept. Loud sobbing could be heard throughout the church. I looked up when my sister broke from his embrace and rushed to the silver casket and began screaming, “I want my Mommy!” He rose and pulled her back to her seat and put his arm around her. He told her to be quiet. Be quiet? Not even now could he show any compassion. He knew what we were all thinking. “Be with these children, Dear Lord,” the minister spoke louder above the mourning going on around him. “Be with Richie, Melinda and Andrew as they try to understand why their mother was taken from them at such a young age.” He looked down from the pulpit and smiled slightly. “God has a reason for all things. Be comforted in knowing that she now sits beside Him in Heaven.” I glared up at him. He knew I didn’t believe him. He knew I no longer believed in God. If God was such a wonderful God, then why did He take our mother from us? Why had He let her suffer so much? I looked at the back of his head. And why did He let him destroy her? I looked up again and scowled. My aunt placed a protective arm around me. She knew. She witnessed how he treated her only sister. I don’t know what the minister said next. My mind stared blankly at the closed casket with the pink and white carnations on top. The choir sang a song, but the words were muted as I thought back to the last time I saw her alive. “You’re a wonderful son,” she had said as she reached her frail hand out to mine as she lay dying in the hospital bed. “It’s a shame I’ll never be able to see you grow up.” My body fell gently against hers, careful of the tubes and needles running into her body. “I love you, Mommy,” I wailed. She put her small hand on my head and petted it. “Be strong for me, Richie,” she whispered gently. “Melinda and Andrew are going to need you now, more than ever.” I nodded my head as tears continued to fall down my cheeks. She patted it once again, and then her hand fell to the side of the bed. She once again had fallen to sleep. The next day she would be dead. She was only thirty-seven. That was six days ago. I looked up again just as the choir was singing ‘His Eye is on the Sparrow.’ Some fat woman with a microphone was parading before my mother’s casket singing loudly. She was twirling a handkerchief in her hand and would stop to wipe her tears away with it. People around me were crying. My uncle was holding my inconsolable aunt as she mourned in the pew beside me. My baby brother stood up in his seat and looked back at me. He held out his arms and I reached out and pulled him into my arms. I then sat him in my lap and rocked him gently as he cried. He turned and gave me an angry look, but he knew he couldn’t say anything, at least not in the church. I glared back at him. I hated him and he knew it. Andrew looked up with tears running down his cheeks. He was so small wrapped up in my arms. I leaned down and kissed him gently on his forehead. I then wiped his tears away, but new ones would form as quickly as the old disappeared. “Why did Mommy have to go away?” “I don’t know,” I mumbled. I pulled him tighter into my chest so that he couldn’t ask me anymore questions that I couldn’t answer. How can you explain to an eight-year old boy why his mother was lying ten feet away in a silver casket adorned with pink carnations with white carnations spelling out the word Mommy? He again turned and whispered, “Is he all right?” I just glared at him. Why would he care? He never cared before. Now, however, everyone was watching. He had to put on his fatherly act. It didn’t fool me. I looked away and looked down at the gentle face of my brother- a face red with tears. “And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.” I looked up and noticed that everyone had their heads bowed as the minister once again lead everyone in prayer. “For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever.” The church echoed with the word, “Amen.” He then turned and reached for my brother, but I refused to let him go. He scowled and then walked to the casket and hugged the minister in the purple robe. I put Andrew down and my aunt grabbed our hands and led us from the pew to the front of the casket. My sister, Melinda, walked over and clutched me tightly around my waist. Like Andrew and my mother, she was small. They both had her blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. She looked more like Andrew’s twin than a sister who was four years older than him. At fifteen, I was the big brother. However, I looked like him. I had black hair and brown eyes. Why couldn’t I have looked like them? We stood before the silver casket, the three of us, with our arms wrapped tightly around one another. He stood beside Andrew. When he attempted to put his arms around us, I pulled them further to the side. He wanted to put on a good show for those who had come to say goodbye to my mother. But we all knew, and he knew we knew. For the next fifteen minutes people walked up to the casket and gently touched the side. Then they would approach my father and tell them how sorry they were for our loss. Each time he would tell them he appreciated their sentiment, I would glare past my brother and sister at him. He hadn’t been around the past year. Why were they telling him how sorry they were? He hadn’t been sitting late at night holding her hand while her body withered away to someone that was unrecognizable as our mother. He was living with his whore in a loft apartment downtown. He abandoned my mother when she needed him the most. He abandoned all of us when we needed a strong shoulder to cry on. I hated his intermittent visits because it always left her sad and depressed. And her body ached more after he left. I looked over and glared when his sister wrapped her arms around him, and they stood crying before her silver casket. “She was such a dear, sweet person,” she cried. But she knew. She knew how he had left us and now she too was putting on a show for those around them. My body surged with hatred for them, all of them. They knew how he had treated her, and now they were filled with hollow remorse. She walked over to me and tried to pull me into a hug, but I stepped back. When she reached down for Andrew, I pulled him before me and wrapped my arms protectively around him. Her eyes narrowed, but she attempted a smile. “She’s in a better place now, isn’t she?” I wanted to spit into her heavily painted face. How could she stand before three small children suffering for a mother who had endured so much pain for a year and make such a statement? Andrew started sobbing in my arms and I pulled him away and led him to the bathroom located in the basement of the church. “Richie!” he shouted out. But I took Andrew’s hand and quickly walked away. Melinda ran up and took my other hand as we walked down the stairs. Aunt Barbara, who had comforted me during the funeral, ran up and took Melinda’s hand and led her away. We exchanged a quick, knowing glance. She hated him as much as I did. We walked into a stall and together relieved ourselves. My brother’s hands trembled as he unzipped his pants. His hands shook greater when he zipped his pants back up. He looked into my face and let out a labored moan, reminiscent of a sick animal. He then fell into my arms and violently wept. “Why, Richie?” he muttered into the front of my now wet shirt. “Why is Mommy gone?” There was nothing I could say that would help him understand. I didn’t understand it myself. ******** “Richie.” My mother had walked into my room and sat down on the bed. It was a little over three years ago. I was the age of Melinda then. She took my hand and squeezed it. “We need to talk.” I knew from the worried look on her face that she was going to tell me something bad. I had been preparing myself for my father’s leaving. They had been arguing almost daily, and I thought she was going to tell me they were getting a divorce. But when she squeezed my hand and tears filled her eyes, I knew it was going to be far worse. She reached out and gently rubbed the side of my face. “You’re such a handsome boy.” Tears of sorrow filled her eyes. She sat up straight and took a deep breath. She then uttered the words that would change all our lives. “I’m sick,” she said tearfully. I wrapped my small arms around her. “You’ll be all right, Mommy,” I assured her. She reached out and pulled me onto her lap and held me tightly. “I’m really sick, Richie.” Even my young mind comprehended the warning in her voice. “I may not get well.” Her body shook as she clutched me and cried. I pulled away and stood looking down at her. She was pretty. She had always been pretty. Her blond hair was pulled back behind her head and wrapped in a pink bow- her favorite color. Her blue eyes twinkled from the tears that had formed in them. She smiled gently at me and took my small hands and squeezed them. “Do you remember when grandma got sick when you were a little boy?” I nodded my head as she squeezed my hands tighter. “I’m sick just like her.” “But she died!” I wailed as I leaned in and wrapped my arms around her. I thought back to how my granny had gotten sick. She was in and out of the hospital. Since I was only six at the time, my visits to her in the hospital were rare. When she came home to die, she was so weak that she could hardly eat. Soon she didn’t even know who I was. I could hardly see my mother’s face when I muttered softly, “Are you going to die?” When her face softened and she smiled meekly at me, I knew the answer. She didn’t have to say anything else. “Let’s hope not,” she managed to say. “I’m going to get new treatments that weren’t available to your granny.” She then pulled me into her bosom and held me tightly. She pulled away and stared pleadingly at me. “I want you to promise me something, Richie.” I nodded my head. “You’ve got to help me with Melinda and Andrew. I’m not going to be able to take care of them all by myself.” I again nodded my head sadly. I asked, “What about Daddy?” “He’ll help too,” she responded. But I could tell by the look in her eyes she was doubtful. Even though I was too young to understand, I knew then that they didn’t get along. Many times I had hidden myself under my covers at night as they screamed at each other in the den. And she did get sick. Very sick. When she received chemotherapy several months later, she lost a lot of weight. Her beautiful blond hair was replaced by a brown wig. After her treatments she would lie in bed and sleep most of the day. She became a skeleton lying upon the white sheets. It was up to me to deal with my little brother and sister. I tried to ward off most of their questions with vague answers. “What’s wrong with Mommy?” Andrew would often ask me. “She’s sick,” I’d say. “But she’ll get better,” I would reassure him, knowing that she probably never would. She did get better for a while. She said her cancer went into remission and she began to gain weight. For about six months she became the mommy we knew once again. Unfortunately, this was the time that he decided he would break the news to her about his whore. Since I was much older and was beginning to understand about sex, I could comprehend most of the arguments they had. My father is a homicide detective and she is a dispatcher for the police department. She is three years older than him and has two children. One is a boy my age. The other is a boy about two years younger than Andrew. I have never met them, but I did see him eating dinner one night as they sat on the patio of a downtown restaurant. I was riding my bike home from baseball practice. He had the nerve to call out my name and motion for me to come over. “This is Linda,” he said with a smile as he put his arm around her. I gave him a disgusted look, jumped on my bike and pedaled away before he even got a chance to introduce the two boys. The wind had dried my tears by the time I had arrived home, but the hate in my heart remained. Two months after he walked out and moved in with his ‘new’ family, Mom got sick again. She tearfully informed me late one night as she lay in her bed that she probably would not get better. She didn’t. She died five days ago. And now, upstairs he stands mourning the wife he didn’t love. If there is any kind of justice in the world, a bolt of lightning would come down from the sky and strike him dead. Then I might get rid of this hate I feel for him. ******** Suddenly, there was a soft knock on the bathroom door. The knob slowly turned, and my Aunt Barbara stuck her head in. “Is everything all right, Richie?” When she saw Andrew clinging to me with his head buried in my chest she rushed over and pulled him away. “Oh! You dear baby!” she cried as he broke down once again. Melinda walked in and I walked over and embraced her. A man entered, but he quickly left when he saw the distraught situation before him. After several minutes my aunt stood straight and walked over and pulled a large amount of paper towels from the dispenser. She walked over and wiped Andrew’s face dry. She then handed me some towels and I wiped Melinda’s face dry and then myself. I walked over to the mirror and looked back at the image before me. I had aged so much over the past year. My once youthful face was taut and hard. I don’t think I had laughed or smiled the past three years. Looking back at me was a stranger I no longer knew. I looked at my long black hair and dark brown eyes. I was looking more like him every day and I hated it. I was beginning to grow a slight mustache that seemed to appear magically one night. At first, I was beaming with pride until I realized that he too had a dark, bushy mustache. Now it no longer made me feel like a man. “Let’s get back upstairs,” she said. “They’ll be taking your mother’s body out to the hearse soon. Your Uncle Ray is a pallbearer.” I grabbed Andrew’s tiny hand and led him back toward the stairs. “Where have you been?” he asked in an angry, hushed tone. “I’ve been standing here by myself.” “They’ve been with me,” responded my aunt equally angry. “Sorry you had to look like the mourning widower,” she said glaringly. I turned away and smiled slightly. Only Aunt Barb had the nerve to talk to him that way. Everyone else was afraid of the great detective, Richard Ferguson. But not my aunt. Not only did I inherit his looks, I was also the unfortunate recipient of his name. I’m Richard Ferguson, Jr. I hate my name. My middle name is Kyle. For a while I tried to get people to call me that, but I was unsuccessful. However, they do call me Richie instead of Richard. I guess I can live with that. The minister walked up and whispered something in his ear. He approached and reached out to touch my shoulder, but I quickly stepped back. “We are supposed to follow behind the casket down the aisle,” he instructed as they turned my mother’s silver casket toward the large double doors. I looked around and noticed that everyone was standing. Most of the women were wiping tears from their eyes with wet tissues. Again, he tried to position us beside him behind mother’s casket, but I stepped back beside my aunt. “She shouldn’t be here,” he hissed angrily. I reached down and took her hand. Grabbing Andrew’s hand, I stepped defiantly past him and stood behind the casket as the pallbearers started the journey down the aisle. Aunt Barbara grabbed Melinda’s hand and we marched slowly as the mourners who had come to pay last respects to my mother wept openly at the sight of three motherless children. I knew he was behind us, but I didn’t turn to see where. He shouldn’t have been here anyway. Once outside I waited to see which limousine he got into, and then I led my brother and sister into the one behind. My lips formed a slight smirk as he glared at us. Uncle Ray and Aunt Barbara rode with us. Andrew sat in my lap and looked out the window and waved to some of our family that he recognized as they headed to their cars to follow in the procession. We rode silently inside the limo. I kept my eyes glued to the hearse ahead. I still couldn’t believe that my mother was lying inside it alone in a casket. The sun was shining brightly, and the casket would occasionally glisten when it made a turn. Tears started to well up in my eyes. I had tried to be strong like she had asked me to be. It was now my responsibility to protect my little brother and sister. However, I didn’t feel strong. Not now. Not after having to share the last hour with him. With her no longer alive, I felt empty. My life had been in overdrive for three years. Now that she had died, I was drained of any strength that remained. As I stared at the hearse making its slow journey to the cemetery, I wished it were me inside instead of her. I no longer wanted to deal with the reality that was now facing me. Andrew moved in my lap. Instinctively, I pulled him tighter to my body. If I couldn’t understand what was going on, how was he expected to understand? I looked at Melinda. I was her age when mother told me she was sick. I’m sure she was aware of what had happened, but could she comprehend how our lives had now changed? Tears once again emerged when I thought of what would happen to us. I know that my mother had discussed it with Uncle Raymond and Aunt Barbara, but they had not spoken about our fate. However, my mother spoke once of it when we were alone. “What will happen to us?” I had asked her late one night as I sat vigil beside her bed. Little did I know at the time she would be dead two months later. She turned and looked sadly at me. She extended her hand and I got up from my seat and took hers as I sat on the side of the bed. “I’ve made arrangements for you to stay with Aunt Barbara,” she said weakly. “But I’m sure your father will go to court to gain custody of you, Melinda and Andrew.” She closed her eyes and remained silent for a minute before speaking once again. “It’s not my wish,” she said as tears welled up in both our eyes, “but he is your father. Barbara probably won’t be able to stop him if he does.” “I hate him, Mommy,” I cried. “I don’t want to live with him.” She gave me a stern look and squeezed my hand tightly. “Nothing good ever comes of hate,” she whispered weakly. “It will only destroy your soul. Promise me you will not fight with him if you do have to live with him.” She closed her eyes and fell asleep before I had a chance to object. We never talked about it again. I looked out the window as the hearse pulled into the neatly manicured cemetery. We followed as it climbed a hill and stopped beside a tent. Uncle Raymond got out of the car and approached the hearse. He stood on the left and helped pull my mother’s casket from it. My aunt indicated that we were to get out and follow my mother to her final resting place. When I looked over and saw him waiting for us to exit, she had to pull me from the car. “Just a few more minutes, Richie,” she pleaded. “It’s almost over with.” I reluctantly got out and took Andrew’s hand. If it hadn’t been for my little brother, I probably would have watched the remaining ceremony from the backseat of the limousine. As we approached the tent, he indicated that he wanted us to sit in the seats positioned in front of the casket. I turned and pushed my way back through the throng of mourners approaching the tent. Many looked confused as I made my way past them. “Richie!” I heard a familiar voice. “Wait up!” My best friend, Gabe, ran up beside me. “Are you all right?” I stopped and turned toward him. I couldn’t remember seeing him at the church even though I knew he would be there. Gaberiel Dyson, Gabe for short, had been my best friend since the third grade when he and his family moved next door. I was attempting to shoot a basketball into a net above the garage door when I heard a voice behind me. “Your form is all wrong,” the boyish voice said. I turned and saw a brown-haired boy about my age standing about twenty feet away. “There’s nothing wrong with my form,” I responded as I heaved the ball at the net. It landed on top of the garage and then bounced to the ground. He giggled as he picked up the ball. “Sure there is,” he replied cockily. “Watch.” He placed his feet firmly on the ground as he tossed the ball over his head and straight into the net. He then stood back and grinned. “See,” he smiled. “I told you.” He spent the rest of the afternoon showing me how to shoot a basketball. Even today, I still can’t play basketball very well. Gabe is a starter for our varsity team. He plays forward position; but since the starting forward is a senior, he doesn’t get much playing time. “Yeah, Gabe,” I replied sarcastically. “Everything is just great.” A worried look appeared on his face. He approached me and threw his arm around my shoulder. He held on to me as I fell to the ground and started crying. I could hear the minister in the purple robe saying, “We can take comfort that our sister in Christ, Judith Ferguson, is with God this bright morning.” I buried my head into the chest of my best friend and cried. He said nothing as he held and rocked me. Soon I was aware that people were beginning to walk away from the tent. A pair of strong hands lifted me from the ground. At first I fought, thinking it was him. But I recognized the voice of my Uncle Raymond. “Don’t Richie,” he said soothingly. “Let’s get you home.” I really don’t remember much about the drive home. I remember looking back at my mother’s casket sitting alone. Everyone had walked away and had headed to their cars. I wondered if she’d be lonely tonight when the sun set and the night air cooled. The driveway was already filled with cars when our limousine pulled up in front of the house. Cars were lining the tree-covered street, and I noticed that several of our neighbors had come out to stand on their porches as we exited the car. Most had been at the church and were now standing reverently as we made the journey up the sidewalk and into the house. He was already standing at the door greeting those who had come back to share in the food he had catered in. He started to say something, but I brushed past him and followed my aunt into the kitchen. Andrew was following behind, holding the belt loop on my pants. “Sit down.” She pointed to the stools beside the kitchen island. She then went to the refrigerator and pulled out a gallon of milk. She poured the milk into glasses and set them before us. He walked into the kitchen and walked around the island until he was before us. “Would you boys like something to eat? There are all kinds of food in the dining room?” “I’ll take care of them, Richard,” my aunt replied sharply as she looked angrily at him. “If they want something to eat, then I’ll get it for them.” I watched as they stared angrily for several seconds at each other. “It doesn’t have to be like this,” he mumbled as he turned and left the room. I almost spit my milk out when she softly muttered, “Bastard.” She had said what I had been thinking since I first saw him in the church. We sat quietly in the kitchen as the noise from the dining room and living room grew louder. Soon it sounded like a party was being held inside the house. The louder the noise grew, the angrier I got. People came into the kitchen to express their sorrow to me, Andrew and Melinda. My aunt would quickly direct them back into the other rooms. Gabe came in and sat down beside me. We didn’t speak, but I was glad he was beside me. He had been with me the past three years, so he understood how I was feeling. I was becoming more upset as the loud talking grew into laughter. I could hear him burst out into loud laughter. He wasn’t even thinking about her. He was soaking in the attention he was receiving. She was now a forgotten memory to those in the other room. “I’m going to my bedroom,” I announced to my aunt as I stood. Gabe got up and put his hand on my back. Andrew grabbed my hand and walked with me as I entered the dining room on the way to the stairs. I turned toward him when I heard him burst out in another fit of laughter. She was standing beside him with her two boys. He had brought them into our house on this day of mourning!
  21. Ronyx

    Chapter 12

    I left Todd’s house walking on Cloud Nine. I couldn’t believe the incredible experience I had just had with him. Just a week ago I thought my life was over, now I had a wonderful boyfriend. I was in love! I opened the door, crept quietly into the living room and headed for the stairs. I heard my mother shuffling around in the kitchen preparing dinner. I was trying to hide from her. I didn’t know if I could contain my excitement. I needed some time to get myself together. She called out. “Is that you, Gary?” “Yes, Mom!” I yelled back as I quickly headed towards the stairs. “Dinner will be ready in ten minutes,” she warned me. I raced up the stairs and ran into my bathroom. I quickly stripped off my clothes, removing the cum stained underwear and pants I had been wearing. Mom usually does my laundry, but if this keeps up, I’ll have to start washing my own clothes. After putting on clean underwear and a warm sweat suit, I went downstairs to the kitchen, pulled out a chair and sat down. Mom placed a plate in front of me as she sat in the seat across from me. “How was your first day back, Dear?” she asked concernedly. “It was good. No problems.” I didn’t want to tell her about the confrontation in the hall. The rest of the day had actually gone well. No one had bothered me. I guess word had gotten around that if you messed with me, you had to mess with Josh, too. It would probably include a visit from Bobby and Carl as well. “Did you finish your homework?” she asked. It seemed like a pretty innocent question. Without thinking, I replied, “No, Ma’am.” “I thought you do your homework over at Todd’s house? What did you do if you didn’t work on your school work?” Another innocent question until my face began to burn a scarlet red! She looked at me and raised an eyebrow when she saw my reaction. Oh, no! Her motherly instinct kicked in. She knew! She knew I had just had S-E-X! I quickly shoveled spaghetti into my mouth as I attempted to ignore her. I could feel her eyes burning into me. She didn’t say anything else. I guess she knew we had talked about me making my own decisions, and she was going to trust me. I finished eating and headed up to my room to finish the homework that should have been completed earlier. I was in the middle of my literature assignment when my cell phone rang. I picked it up, expecting Todd to be on the other end. When I looked at the number on the caller ID, my heart stopped. It was Shaun! I let the phone ring several times. I hesitated to answer it, but I was curious why he was calling. “Hello?” I quietly answered. “Gary? This is Shaun.” “Um, yeah?” “Can we talk?” “Yeah, what do you want?” It was getting tense. Both of us were nervous. Shaun’s voice was shaky, and I could hardly form a coherent sentence. My mind was racing. “Not on the phone. Can you come over?" he asked. I didn’t know how to respond. The last time I had been to his house was disastrous. It was the beginning of all my current problems. He had outed me at school the next day, but then recently he had mysteriously left me alone. After the confrontation at the locker today, I noticed him afterwards, and he appeared sad. “Sure, give me ten minutes.” I hung up the phone. I had no idea what I was heading into. Maybe he was setting me up. Perhaps, I’d go and some of his buddies would be there to harass the queer. I didn’t know. I left my room, headed down the stairs and went into the living room. Mom was curled up on the sofa reading a book. She looked up when I entered. “Shaun called. He wants me to come over,” I said nervously. She looked at me and gave me an inquisitive look. “I’ll be home in a little while.” She didn’t say anything. She just watched as I put on a jacket and left the house. Shaun’s house was the next block over, so it only took me a couple of minutes to walk. I almost turned around a dozen times. However, my inner voice was telling me to see what he wanted. I knocked on the door, and his mother answered. She smiled when she saw me standing outside on the porch. “Come in, Gary. Where have you been? It’s been over a week since we last saw you.” She then looked at the cast on my arm. “My goodness, what happened to you? she asked concernedly. “It’s a long story,” I responded. “Is Shaun in his room?” I didn’t mean to be rude, but I was too anxious to engage in a conversation with his mother. “Can’t you hear his music blasting away? Go on up,” she replied. I walked quietly up the stairs to his room. I hesitated a few minutes before knocking on his door. “Come in!” I heard him yell from the other side. I opened the door and entered. He was sitting on his bed reading the latest issue of Sports Illustrated. He put the magazine aside when he saw me. He looked sad. He had the kind of look that make people say, “You look like you’ve lost your best friend.” I guess in this case, he had. “What up, Pussy?” he asked. I saw his mouth form a hesitant smile. This was the way we had always greeted each other for the past couple of years. It was something that made me feel special because it was reserved for just me. He never addressed anyone else that way. “You, Bitch.” That was my special reply for him. We had played out this greeting a thousand times. I let a small smile form, too. “Sit down, Gary.” He seemed extremely nervous as he patted the bed beside him. He was propped up against the wall, exactly like we had been sitting last week. “You sure?” I asked hesitantly. “Yeah, I’m sure,” he replied. I removed my shoes and climbed onto his bed. I made sure I kept a safe distance between us. To my surprise, he scooted over to me and pushed up against me, resting his leg against mine. My first instinct was to move away, but again my inner voice told me not to. We sat there for a moment without saying anything, just listening to the music blasting from his stereo. After an awkward silence, he spoke. “Look, Gary. I fucked up, Man. I’m really sorry.” His voice was shaking, and he was fighting hard to keep his composure. “You’re my best friend. We’ve always been there for each other.” He stopped talking and stared absently at the wall. I knew that this was probably one of the hardest things he had ever done. “I don’t know what to do. There is nothing I can say,” he muttered softly. “It’s all right, Shaun,” I assured him. “We’ve still got each other.” “I don’t even know how to ask you to forgive me,” he said sadly. “You don’t have to.” He looked up into my eyes. Shaun didn’t have to apologize. He was already forgiven. He was my best friend, and that’s what best friends do, they forgive. He was my first real friend, and I was not going to let him go, no matter what he had done to me. I know one thing. I would rather tell people ten years from now that Shaun is my best friend, rather than tell them about the best friend I used to have. I held out my fist. He looked at me and hesitated. Then, he brought his fist up and hit mine. We then hooked our little pinkies together. “Friends 4ever,” we said in unison. It was our secret bond. We did it every time we made a pledge to one another. When we would tell each other a secret, we’d do it. It was sacred to us. We would go to our grave with that secret if we had done the fist and pinkie pledge. We sat quietly beside each other for several minutes. Our legs continued to rub against each other, but this time I didn’t bone up. Shaun was my friend again, my best friend. After a few moments he broke the silence. “You and Todd together?” he asked. I was stunned for a moment. I guess he had heard the rumors. Since he was my friend, I thought it was best to deal with it honestly. I had hidden the truth from him for so long. “Yeah, we are. You and Melissa together?” I asked back. “Yeah,” he replied. We sat quietly again for a few moments. I wasn’t quite sure where our conversation was heading. “You do it yet?” He looked over at me and grinned. “Shut up, Bitch,” I giggled. “You and Melissa do it yet?” I asked. By now we were rolling on the bed laughing. “I’m not going to tell you, if you don’t tell me,” he laughed. “Okay. Here’s what we do,” I suggested. “On the count of three, yell out yes or no.” “One, Two, Three.” We both shouted, “Yes!” “Get out of here! When?” He had an amazed look on his face. “This afternoon.” I began to blush. “No shit!” “Yes shit!” “Who was the boy and who was the girl?” He grinned as he made the universal symbol for sex. He poked his finger in a circle he had formed with this other hand. “Shut up, Fuckface. We haven’t gone that far yet.” I emphasized the word yet. Suddenly, a vision of Todd lying on his bed ‘practicing’ with his carrot jumped in my head. If Shaun saw me blush, he didn’t say anything. “What did you do?” he asked. I think he found it interesting to think about his best friend with another guy. “I’m not going to tell you,” I laughed. Then, I pushed my tongue against the side of my mouth several times. “Aw, man! That’s too much fucking information.” We were both rolling around on the bed laughing. When he looked back over at me, I did it again. We laughed hysterically. I sat up and looked at Shaun. “So, is Melissa the first girl you did it with?” Now was my chance to find out what I had wanted to know for years. “Nope,” he said with a wide grin. “No shit! How many other girls?” He had really piqued my interest. “Look over here.” He pointed to some marks on the headboard of his bed. There must have been at least five deep cuts. One of the marks looked fresh. He was keeping a record of the girls he had sex with! I’d be checking that out from now on! “No shit, Man! You’re a dirty dog!” “Woof, Woof, Woof” We were rolling around laughing again. “You using protection?” I asked seriously. “Hell, yeah! No little puppies for me. I always carry a raincoat,” he replied as he patted his wallet. “If you ever need anything, see Mom.” I grinned and began laughing. He gave me a look like I had just made the stupidest remark he’d ever heard me say. I laughed even harder. “Long story, dude. I’ll tell you later.” We sat quietly for a few minutes. Occasionally, we’d look over at each other and giggle. Throughout our conversation, our legs never separated. Suddenly, Shaun leaned over and kissed me quickly on my cheek. My eyes widened as I stared at him. “What was that for?” I asked as I rubbed the spot he had just kissed. “You’re my best friend. I love you,” he blushingly stated. “I’m going to tell my boyfriend you kissed me,” I kidded him. “So, he’s a little fucker. I could easily take him out,” bragged Shaun. “Not if he’s with his brother.” Shaun’s smile faded. “Yeah, right,” he said. We both started laughing. Then I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I love you, too.” “I’m going to tell my girlfriend you kissed me,” he said with a wide grin. “I’ll tell her you kissed me first,” I joked. We playfully chatted for a long time, renewing an old friendship. Suddenly, I looked at the clock and realized how late it was. I had been in Shaun’s room for over two hours. “I gotta go, Man,” I said as I got off the bed. He looked at the clock and noticed the time. “Okay,” he frowned. It was obvious he didn’t want me to go. If it had not been a school night, I would have called my mother and just slept over. I began to put on my shoes. “What are you doing Saturday?” he asked. “Melissa and I are going to the mall in the morning. and then we are catching a movie in the afternoon. You and Todd want to double date?” “You sure Melissa won’t mind?” I asked skeptically. “No, she’s cool,” he assured me. That’s why I like her. She won’t care. Besides, she’s already told me she thinks you’re cute.” He acted like he was getting ready to puke. “Sounds good, then. I’ll ask Todd when he calls tonight,” I replied. “One thing, though,” he grinned. “Don’t make out in the theater when you’re sitting beside us.” He began to kiss the back of his hand. “Guess we’ll have to sit behind you then,” I replied. “I don’t want to watch you and Melissa swapping spit either.” I started smooching the back of my hand. “Later, Dude.” He walked over and embraced me. We held each other for a minute. We then fisted and hooked pinkies. I walked down the stairs with a wide grin on my face and headed home. As I walked home, the night was crisp and cool. I inhaled deep breaths. It had been a long time since I felt so alive. There was a full moon out, and it illuminated my path ahead. I was thinking that at birth everyone should be given a big red button. When you experience that one time in your life when everything is just perfect, then you push the button and your life remains frozen in that period of time. This was my time. I had a boyfriend who loved me. I had a best friend who meant the world to me. I had a loving mother who accepted me unconditionally. I had even acquired a wonderful big brother. Yeah, for just this once, my life seemed almost perfect. I walked into a quiet house. I guess my mother had already gone to her bedroom. I locked up and headed up to my room. When I entered, I noticed a big red apple and a small card sitting atop my desk. I walked over and opened the card. It read: For the Apple of My Eye. I Love You. Mom. I sat down at my desk. Through teary eyes, I opened the control panel on my computer and clicked on desktop background. The End
  22. Ronyx

    Chapter 11

    (This section is written in the third person POV) Shaun was walking down the hall with his arm wrapped around Melissa’s small waist. Students were walking past them, occasionally exchanging hellos or nodding their heads. He had been with Melissa for over four weeks. It was close to setting a record for him. Suddenly, he felt a hand grab his arm. He turned around expecting to see a friend’s face; but instead, he was staring into the glaring eyes of Mrs. Carson, Gary’s mother. He was fond of Mrs. Carson, or Mom, as she had insisted on him calling her on his second visit to Gary’s home when he was in the fifth grade. She had been a second mother to him, sometimes almost a first mom. His own mother worked all the time and rarely spent much time with him. She was a good mother; however, she wasn’t blessed with good maternal instincts. Mom had filled that role, and he never once questioned her love for him. There had been many nights he had fallen asleep in her lap during his numerous sleepovers with Gary. He would be on one side of her, and Gary would be snuggled on the other. When it was bedtime, she would help them up to bed and kiss them goodnight. When he broke his arm in the sixth grade while he and Gary climbed an oak tree in Gary’s backyard, it had been Mom who took him to the hospital and stayed with him in the emergency room. Mom had called his own mother, and after finding out he was all right, she said she would be there when he got home. It was Mom who held him and comforted a very scared little twelve-year-old boy. Now he was looking directly into the eyes of the woman he most admired, and a wave of guilt overtook him. This was the one thing he had been trying to avoid. Since his fight with Gary, he had missed Mom. He knew that one day she would ask why he wasn’t coming around anymore. He was sure she had heard the rumors about what he had said to Gary in the cafeteria. By now, the whole school knew the story. She held his arm gently and said, “Shaun, can I talk to you for a moment?” The look in her eye told him that it wasn’t a request. “Sure, Mom,” he responded. He whispered goodbye to Melissa, and she gave him a peck on the cheek and walked away. “In my room,” she directed. “This is my planning period. I’ll write you a pass for your next class when we are done.” “Yes, Ma’am,” Shaun replied sheepishly as he entered the room and took a seat in the front row. Mrs. Carson pulled up a seat and sat down, facing him. She asked, “Would you like to tell me why I haven’t seen you in over a week?” “No, Mom. I can’t,” he replied. How could he tell her that he had outed Gary to the entire school? In doing so, he had destroyed their six-year friendship. He realized that he didn’t hate Gary. He had been caught off guard by last week’s incident. Guys their age are taught to hate gay people. That had been the bantering in the gym classes since the fourth grade. Queers, fags, cocksuckers, butt buddies. All these words had been ingrained in him for years as dirty. When any guy innocently checked out the size of another guy’s cock in the shower, the teasing would be endless. So that night in his room, when he saw Gary staring sensuously into his eyes, he reacted instinctively. When he mentioned it to his friends the next day, it became a major issue. They had instigated his confrontation with Gary in the cafeteria. He had reacted childishly, and now he regretted it. Since then, he had left Gary alone and he hadn’t said anything to him. On several occasions, he had even told his friends to shut up when they started talking about him. On the day he returned to school and Billy and Robert began to harass Gary, he was about to jump in when Josh suddenly shouted out. “Why aren’t you Gary’s friend anymore?” Mom startled him from his thoughts when she questioned him. “It’s complicated. I don’t think you’d understand,” he muttered softly. “Is it because he’s gay?” Shaun raised his head and looked surprisingly into Mom’s eyes. She knew Gary was gay? “Yeah,” he answered timidly. The guilt was coming in waves, and for the first time he felt embarrassed. “He made a mistake, Honey,” she explained. “He never meant to hurt you. If he could take last week back, believe me he would.” “He made a mistake?” Shaun asked incredulously. “I’m the one that fucked up.” He put his hand to his mouth. “Sorry, Mom, that slipped.” He couldn’t believe it. He had ruined Gary’s life. He had outed him at school, resulting in him being beaten up. However, Gary was the one who was sorry! Mrs. Carson smiled warmly at Shaun. “He loves you, Shaun. You’re his best friend. He misses you terribly.” “I know,” Shaun stated. “But things are different now. We can’t be friends.” “Why? What’s changed?” “My friends would talk about me. They’d call me gay, too.” Shaun hung his head. As soon as he said it, he realized just how inane the comment was. “That’s more important to you than his friendship? You would turn your back on a friend to keep other people from talking about you? How shallow are you? You are going to have hundreds, maybe thousands of friends in your lifetime. But you will be able to count on one hand your true friends- those who will stick by you no matter how bad, as you say, you fuck up.” She reached out and gently held Shaun’s hands. Shaun looked up and met Mom’s eyes. He knew he had been wrong, but he didn’t know what to do about it. Things had gone too far. “I don’t know what to do. I outed him to the entire school. I don’t think he will ever forgive me. I know I wouldn’t.” “Talk to him Shaun, he might surprise you,” she said assuredly. “Gary has a very forgiving heart.” “I’ll try.” It was all he was able to say. He wanted Gary’s friendship again, but had too much happened? Was there anymore going back? Maybe going back wasn’t the answer, maybe they had to move forward. * * * * * * * * “Come here, you perv!” I shouted as I pushed Todd down onto his bed. “You pinched my butt in the hall today in front of everybody.” We had returned to Todd’s house after school to do our homework; but since no one was home to monitor us, homework was the last thing on my mind. I was more interested in taking a pop quiz on kissing, and we all know what was going to pop up! I leaned in and began to kiss Todd passionately. It felt so good, so right. I could lie here all day like this. Soon we began to grind our hard cocks into each other, and he began to moan in my ear. “We have to stop,” I said breathlessly, pulling myself off him and lying down on my back. Todd glanced at my dick poking through my khaki pants. A small, wet patch was beginning to form. “Why? It’s just getting fun,” Todd giggled as he pressed down on my cock, stroking me lightly through my pants. “Because last night after we made out in my room, I had to take a shower and jack off. Since my right hand is in a cast, I had to use my left. It didn’t feel right.” I began to blush as I remembered the fantasy I had about Todd in order to make myself cum. “Then maybe I can help you,” he replied shyly. He began to rub my crotch more forcefully. I closed my eyes and let out a slight whimper. When he began to unbuckle my belt, I wanted to stop him. However, my other head wouldn’t let me. I knew we weren’t ready for real sex yet, but a hand job would feel really good! “Lift your butt up,” ordered Todd. He unzipped my pants, pulled them off and threw them on the floor. My dick was tenting my white briefs. Todd gently stroked me through the cotton material. He was playing with my head to see if he could get anymore precum to soak through my briefs. “Lift up again,” he said. He pulled my underwear off, leaving me exposed to him. “It’s beautiful,” he said admiringly. He took my cock in his hands and began stroking me. He reached out and helped me remove my tee shirt. It was a little difficult because of the cast. I was now completely naked before him. He continued stroking my cock with one hand while rubbing my balls with the other. When he leaned over and began sucking on my nipple, I moaned so loud the neighbors had to have heard. Todd giggled and went back to licking my chest. He let his tongue travel downward and licked around my belly button. Then he traveled further, nibbling at my pubic hair. With my eyes closed, I was reveling in the feelings. My moans were becoming louder. Todd removed his hand from my dick, and a strange warmness engulfed it. My eyes shot open, and I looked down to see Todd sucking my cock into his mouth. He was careful not to scrape me with his teeth. It was better than any anything I had ever experienced while jacking off. It was better than my dream. I wish I could say I lasted for an hour, but I didn’t. This new experience had me feeling so excited, I couldn’t hold it very long. After about three minutes, I informed Todd I was going to cum. “Here I cum!” He pulled his mouth off, and cum shot out in giant streams. One flew up and landed on my neck. Another on my right nipple, and then several more hit my stomach. The remainder coated Todd’s hand. “Cool.” He looked up and grinned. He knew he had done a good job. “Not too bad for my first time,” he giggled. “Oh God! I’ve died and gone to heaven!” I said breathlessly. “That was fantastic!” He ran to the bathroom, grabbed a towel and cleaned the cum off my chest. He smelled his hand before he wiped it off. “Ew, gross!” I shrieked. He giggled again. “How did you know what to do?” I asked. “That felt really great.” “I’ve been practicing,” he grinned. “Practicing? On who?” I was starting to get upset. I thought I was his first. “On a carrot.” He was blushing bright red. “On a carrot?” I started laughing hysterically. “Yeah. When I met you, I hoped we would do something someday. I wanted it to feel good. So, I’ve been practicing with a carrot.” His face burned even brighter. “That is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard of,” I laughed. “But it worked. That was great!” He grinned widely as he lay down beside me and put his head on my chest. “I love you,” he quietly stated. I know my heart seemed to stop. After all the lonely years I had experienced, I thought I would never hear those words said to me by another boy. “I love you too,” I responded as I rolled on top of him and began kissing him. We made out for several minutes before I lifted him up and pulled his shirt over his head. He lay back, and I began to nibble at his little nipples as he had done earlier. Since this was my first time, I was trying to copy what he had done to me because it had felt so good. I wanted him to experience the same feelings. If I was a moaner, then Todd was a screamer. We could never have sex with anyone in the house. He was squirming all over the bed. I lifted him up and pulled his pants and underwear off. Forget the foreplay, I wanted him now! His dick popped out and I got the first glimpse of my boyfriend’s cock. The best way to describe it is cute, just like him. It wasn’t very big, probably five inches long and slender. To me, though, it was just right. He had blonde pubic hair and hairless balls. Eager to please him, I took it completely in my mouth. Todd screamed and rammed his dick deep inside my mouth. I loved the hardness in my mouth. I hadn’t been practicing with a carrot, but it seemed that I instinctively knew just what to do. I sucked him deeply several times before he began convulsing on the bed. I knew he was close. If I lasted three minutes, he only lasted two. Soon, I felt the head of his cock expand, and he let out a scream. “God, here it comes!” He rammed his cock to the back of my throat. I felt the first shot blast into my mouth before removing it and letting the rest land on his stomach. He didn’t cum as much as me, but it was still a nice load. “Fucking Awesome!” He screamed breathlessly. I laughed because it was the first time I had ever heard him curse. I looked into his face and grinned. “You liked that, huh?” “I loved it, just like I love you.” He leaned forward for another passionate kiss. When I opened my mouth, he began exploring inside my mouth, tasting the remains of the cum that he had just deposited there. We lay quietly for several minutes. Occasionally, we would kiss; but most of the time we just stared into each other’s eyes and smiled. “We better get cleaned up,” suggested Todd. “Josh should be home soon.” He blushed when he asked, “Do you want to take a shower together?” “Does a cow have tits?” I responded. I slapped his cute ass on the way out of his room as we ran naked to the bathroom. When we finished showering, we toweled each other off and ran back naked to his bedroom. As soon as we entered his room, we ran into Josh. He looked at us standing naked before him. Both our dicks were hard and pointing upward from the very thorough toweling we had given each other. He looked astonished. Then suddenly he began to smile. Soon, he erupted into laughter. “You Little Bros been naughty?” he asked with a wide grin. “Yeah!” We both said at the same time. We looked at each other and began laughing. We got another loud roar from Josh when we simultaneously grabbed our cocks and started shaking them at him. Josh held out his arms and we walked over to him still naked. He embraced us in a huge bear hug. He let us go, but not before smacking us both on our bare butts. We all burst out in laughter again. Josh left the room, and Todd and I slowly dressed as we watched each other closely. He walked over and buttoned my shirt while giving me little kisses on my face. When he was done, I did the same to him. He walked me to the door, and we embraced. “I love you, Todd.” I said as I gave him a gentle kiss. He returned the kiss and replied, “And I love you, Gary.” “I’ll see you tomorrow. Call me tonight before you go to bed,” I told him. “I will,” he replied. I kissed him one last time before I opened the door and left. I looked back when I was half way down the block. He was standing on his porch watching me. When I waved at him, he waved back. He was still watching me when I turned the corner and headed for home.
  23. Ronyx

    Chapter 10

    OMG! I never noticed this. Now, Graeme, I'm going to have to go back to my other stories and see if this is a pattern. I just pull minor names out of the sky, and I don't know why -son is so prevalent.
  24. Ronyx

    Chapter 10

    Wesley be like:
  25. Ronyx

    Chapter 10

    It was a slow walk to school. The weather was getting cooler. The sky was dark and dreary, just like my mood. It had been almost a week since I had been to school. The incident happened on Friday, and it was now the following Thursday. Images of what had been said about me in my absence were messing with my mind. It could not be good. I entered the double doors of the high school and cautiously walked down the hall to my locker. I had traveled the journey hundreds of times, but today I was not that invisible soul marching quietly along unnoticed by loud, rambunctious students. Other students stared at me as I walked along with my head down. I could feel them staring even though I dared not meet their eyes. I could hear them abruptly end their conversations, and I could feel their eyes follow me as I walked quickly past them. When I arrived at my locker, Todd was waiting for me. For the first time this morning, I felt good. Just seeing him standing there made me feel safe. But my happiness was short-lived as Shaun walked by me. His locker was next to mine. We had been neighbors throughout our three years of high school. I always enjoyed seeing him every morning. We usually bantered back and forth, starting our day with a laugh. My exchange with Shaun usually set the tone for a fun day. This morning was different. He didn’t say anything hateful to me like the last time I saw him. He glanced a couple of times at me and Todd. I guess he was trying to decide if we were together. When he slammed his locker shut, I jumped. I guess I thought he was going to hit me or something. Todd was carefully watching me. I knew he had my back in case Shaun wanted to start something. However, he didn’t say anything. He just looked at me sadly and walked away. I retrieved the books I needed for my morning classes and closed my locker. I turned to Todd and asked, “You ready?” “Ready,” he replied. As we started to walk away, I noticed trouble coming our way. Billy Hanson and Robert Clayton were approaching. They were the two guys who had held me in the restroom while Josh hit me. They were members of the football team and friends of Todd’s brother. By the scowls on their faces, it didn’t look good. “Hey faggot, how’s the arm?” They both started laughing as they circled me, pushing Todd roughly out of the way. Everyone in the hallway stopped walking. They could sense a fight. I could see students running towards us in all directions, hungry for some early morning excitement. “Leave me alone guys. I haven’t done anything to you.” I was scared. I could feel my body shaking. I had to put up a brave appearance if I was going to survive. I didn’t want the reputation as a wimpy sissy to follow me around the rest of my high school years. “Yes, you did, Fag. You perved on us,” said Billy as they laughed and moved in closer to me. I flinched, waiting for their fists to make contact with my body. I was still sore from my earlier beating. It was going to hurt like hell. “Leave him the fuck alone!” Someone shouted from outside the crowd. I could sense movement as someone was pushing students out of the way to get to us. “Touch him, Mother Fuckers, and you’re dead!” Suddenly, Josh emerged from the crowd. He had his fists balled tightly and was red-faced with anger. He was prepared for a fight. Billy and Robert took a step back from me, but they didn’t back down from Josh. They stared angrily at each other. “What’s the matter Joshie, getting soft on us?” Robert spat. “You turning into one of them, too.” “Shut the fuck up, Clayton. I’ll take you out right here.” As he spoke to Robert, he was slowly stepping between me and his two friends. I couldn’t believe Josh Mathews was protecting me. “Yeah,” sneered Billy. “You and whose army? The way I see it, there are two of us and only one of you.” He began to approach Josh. “You don’t count too good, Shithead!” A voice shouted from the crowd. Carl Hobson then stepped forward and put his arm over my shoulder. Carl is the center on the basketball team. We have played together for the past two years. He is a star player, and it is rumored that several colleges would be scouting him this year. Robert and Billy looked back and forth between Josh and Carl. Josh had an imposing body, but Carl is tall- really tall. He towered over me as he kept his arm protectively around me. “Yeah, Fuckers! You need to go back to basic math.” Next, Bobby Watson emerged from the throng of students and stood next to Josh. Bobby is also a member of the basketball team. He sits on the bench a lot, like I do, but he usually gets a lot more playing time. He reached out and pulled Todd in close to him. “You got anything else to say, Mother Fuckers?” Josh got up in Billy’s face and poked his finger into his chest. “You come anywhere near Carson or my little brother again, and I’ll kick your ass so hard they’ll have to have a cleaning crew come in here and wipe your shit off the walls,” Josh spat angrily. Several students started giggling. “Whatever, Fucker,” replied Billy. He was trying to act cool and put on a brave front, but you could see the fear in his eyes. He tried to stare Josh down, but he quickly averted his eyes. “Come on, Clayton,” he muttered. “This piece of shit ain’t worth it.” He angrily looked at me, then he and Robert broke through the crowd and stormed away. Students began to disperse. They were disappointed that they hadn’t seen a fight. The tardy bell rang, and students began running in all directions. I knew that the confrontation would be the talk of the school for the rest of the morning. “Todd, you get to class. Carson you come with me,” Josh ordered while grabbing my arm and pulling me with him down the hall. Todd stood for a minute wanting to follow, but Josh hollered back, “Now!” He turned and headed off to class. He let go of the grasp he had on my arm and threw an arm around my shoulder. “We’ve got to talk.” That was the only thing he said as he led me in the direction of the gym. We entered, and he took me into a side room. It was the weight room where we came to work out after school. “Sit down, Gary.” He pointed to one of the weight benches. I walked over and took a seat. Josh paced back and forth. He suddenly stopped and knelt in front of me. “Look, Little Bro. I really don’t know what to say here. There isn’t anything I can say to make up to you for what I did. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since it happened.” Tears were beginning to form in his eyes. I knew he was opening up his heart to me. He was very vulnerable, and he was exposing all his feelings for me to see. Before me was one of the strongest and most athletic guys in the school completely devastated. “I couldn’t believe it when your mother came by the other night and talked me out of going to Mr. Snow. I still don’t understand. I beat the shit out of you, and you don’t want revenge?” I looked into his face and watched more tears forming in his eyes. I wanted to reach up and wipe them away like I did to his brother, but I knew better than to do that. “It wasn’t all your fault,” I responded. “I provoked you.” “Maybe you did, but I still shouldn’t have done what I did. Billy and Robert were there, and I guess I didn’t want to look weak in front of them. When you jumped me, things just got out of hand.” He hung his head and wiped away some falling tears. “Look what I did to you. You’ve got your arm in a cast, and Todd said I broke two of your ribs. Oh, God!” He lost all composure. I looked at his dejected body and my heart was breaking. I reached for his arm and held it. “I forgive you,” I whispered. “What?” “I said I forgive you.” This time a little louder. “It’s not that simple.” “Yes, it is. I forgive you. Sometimes it can be just that simple.” He looked up at me, and our eyes met. Man, he’s got those penetrating blue eyes just like his brother, I thought. “I know you’re sorry, and you regret what you did to me. Getting you suspended and ruining your future wouldn’t make me feel any happier,” I told him. “Maybe we can’t change what happened, but I can forgive you.” “Little Bro, you’re a very special guy,” he said as a smile appeared. “It takes a big man to do what you’re doing. If someone had done to Todd what I did to you, I’m not too sure I could forgive them.” I was really beginning to feel close to Josh. He kept calling me Little Bro. It made me feel good. I had grown up as an only child, and I had always wanted a brother. I always thought I would like to have been the older brother; however, being Josh’s younger brother was fine with me. I didn’t know what else to say to him. I did feel good about the decision I made. Josh really was a good guy. He just made a mistake. Unfortunately, I had been on the opposite side of his fist when he made it. “I still have to make it up to you, somehow,” he insisted. “Just keep calling me, Little Bro,” I replied with smile. “I like that.” We both stood at the same time. He threw his arms around me and we embraced. We stood there for a minute rocking back and forth. It was nothing sexual, just a bonding of friendship. Josh was the brother I always wanted. Josh was the first to speak. “We better get to class.” He let go of me and wiped the remaining tears from his face. My eyes were a little misty, also. “Yeah. I guess we better,” I said. “We’re going to be in a shitload of trouble. I’ve missed half of my physiology class.” “You think that’s bad,” he frowned. “I’ve missed most of your mother’s calculus class. I’m kinda at the top of her shit list right now.” “Maybe I can help,” I replied. “I have inside connections.” “I doubt it,” he added worriedly. I reached out and touched his arm. “Thanks for what you did earlier.” “Hey, you’re my Little Bro now. I gotta protect you,” he beamed proudly. “I may have to take you up on that sometime.” My smile quickly left my face. “I guess I’m the school fag now.” “No one is going to mess with you or Todd while I’m around. Don’t worry,” Josh said reassuringly. “You’ve also got Carl and Bobby watching your back. You have more friends than you think. Not everyone in this school is as narrow-minded as Hanson and Clayton.” “I hope so,” I said apprehensively. He asked, “Are you coming over to see Todd later?” “Yeah, we’re going to work on our homework together.” “He likes you a lot, you know?” “I know. I like him a lot, too.” Here come the red cheeks again. Josh pulled me into him and placed his arm around my shoulder. We walked out of the gym and down the hall together. It felt nice to have a big brother.
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