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thatboyChase

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  3. thatboyChase

    new boyfriend

    By thatboyChase,

    currently he is a concept rather than a name.... (official name? Rolo - nicknames: little Rolito, champ, boobies, buddy, Roldy, Rollie, bro, oi wanka and i guess we yell HEY alot to make him stop doing things and NO but when we scold him gently he just thinks we really want to play and mouths like a gangster on the ankles)
    german shepherd/australian cattle dog mix, handful, but therapeutic. the sketchy guy who had the litter said it was 9 weeks, my roommates and i don't believe this, but we're taking it to the vet soon for the drugass y vakcinationes~ this dog is gonna be a stud just like its masters 8D
     
    raising a dog just adds this extra purposeful layer to your life, feels good man
  4. thatboyChase

    creativity

    By thatboyChase,

    real talk, Ira glass
     
    writing, film making, music, production, life - with art the baggage of self-doubt is heavy, but...
     
    “What nobody tells people who are beginners — and I really wish someone had told this to me . . . is that all of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, and it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not.
    But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase. They quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know it’s normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story (or anything).
    It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”
  5. thatboyChase

    Neverglade

    By thatboyChase,

    [two young men sit at a table, one with a paper, the other nursing tea, the fog around them is thick] Ramsey, Timothy
     
    Timothy: As high as the ladder would climb.
     
    Ramsey: Which ladder?
     
    Timothy: We tumbled inside....
     
    Ramsey: Indeed and hardened the whites of our eyes.
     
    [Timothy looks up, the fog parts]
     
    Timothy: The stars have arrived.
     
    Ramsey: A start of an everlasting day....
     
    Timothy: Take your thought train off, man
     
    Ramsey: Through animals and slaves?
     
    [Timothy laughs]
     
    Timothy: He pulls them away....
     
    Ramsey: Just as the curtains were raised, somebody asked anyway
     
    Timothy: The lion is out of his cave [a sigh].
     
    Ramsey: You don't say?
     
    [Ramsey lifts his hand to the air]
     
    Ramsey: And we all fell down as the weather man said....
     
    Timothy: Weather man ....son of crooked rain [flicks his paper, turning the page]
     
    Ramsey: Crooked rain, it grew on trees
     
    Timothy: Grew on trees in the back of brains, you know....
     
    [Ramsey smiles]
     
    Ramsey: Even the devil would pay.....
     
    Timothy: For half of a glass?
     
    Ramsey: Oh yes....
     
    Timothy: Why?
     
    Ramsey: The crooked rain alone could only make him laugh.
     
     
     
    [silence for a time]
     
     
     
     
     
    Timothy: That face was never mine, Ramsey....
     
    Ramsey: You don't say?
     
    Timothy: And just as my buttons came off...
     
    Ramsey: The buttons of your jacket?
     
    Timothy: No, the muffled sounds...do you hear them?
     
    [Ramsey listens, but shakes his head]
     
    Ramsey: Just like a secret ....we will be found, my love.
     
    Timothy: You think?
     
    Ramsey: We are the circus....we are going to town [a grin]
     
    Timothy: [shrugs] Lets not waste time then.
     
    Ramsey: [nods] For the haze is never really made.... [the fog parts to reveal a quagmire, distant lights of a City twinkle through the din]
     
    Timothy: Out here in Neverglade....
     
    [Ramsey leans back in his seat]: Never.....glade....
     
    Timothy: I'm going outside to chase the rain....and you're going to stay in the basement again.
     
    Ramsey: There is a distant sound....of blood on those waves....look.
     
    Timothy: Always....
     
    Ramsey: Always....
  6. thatboyChase
    Friends, enemies and....maybe some lovers, some of the words got preggers with each other cause Word documents suck =_(
     
    I come here to today to declare my departure from thecommunity of GA. This means I won't chose to post anymore, or participate.
     
    Why you ask?
     
    Well, I can't find myself adding anything more to thecommunity to make it better. I haven't been posting up much writing, so thatkills 80% of what this site is to begin with. When I do post its usually mean,crass or in ill humor.
     
    Some of you can take it....while others cannot. You might wonder, why does he do that? Like I said, or will say, I don't care really. I'm not some sad individual IRL, hell no lol. I love my life, it consists of gym, work and hanging out with my friends. I recently got accepted to Vassar College in New York to continue my incredibly boring Literature major in the fall, which I am throughly stoked over, so I'll barely have time for GA anyway.
     
    But I am not here to dis GA, no, I'll dis it later in a little bit....I am here to praise thisestablishment because it is one of a kind, seriously. I am almost certain Myrand his council understand this, GA is a shining beacon in the online world,especially for info for Gay Teens. Sure the issues are a bit repetitive, butwho knows, maybe you/us/everyone at GA has changed someones life somewhere forthe better.
     
    I've been on the web forever, who doesn't? The internetRULES. ANONYMOUS, TROLLING, DOTA, REBECCA BLACK. I mean shit, look at all thatcool stuff and GA is by far a unique place. I've been all over, from the depthsof dirty 4chan to the gaming blogs and forums of World of Warcraft, Rift,Lineage 2. I've trolled political forums and participated in otherwriter/editor consortium throughout the web. GA is truly a diamond in therough.
     
    But GA would never be itself would out the community it hasnow.
     
    I know there are some of you who could give a rats ass. Icommend you for those feelings, its better to not care than to care to much, ifyou know what I mean. Some might care that I'll never do much here anymore,while others might cry, probably fewer crying and more joy considering myhistory, lol.
     
    There are assorted individuals on here that are amazing,beautiful and down right one in a million. I hope that you understand that andyou know who you are. I am not just "saying" that either, I mean itfrom the bottom of ...I guess that would be my heart.
     
    I have encountered, interacted with so many of you. Somesituations, dire! others charmed, humorous, full of hate, some in admirationfor my barely amateur writing.
     
    GA is overflowing with amazing people, Caedus your musictaste and our theorycrafting over it was so enjoyable (please PM me so I cangive you my email address if you read this, so we can continue to share ourmusical tastes) Nephylim, that true light when it can be so dark, my favoritedruid/vampire/wiccan/wizard/witch/dragon princess, whatever rolled into one,the God mother of GA. The administrators/and some mods (not all of youdouchebags lol) for keeping the site going. Running these boards is rather annoying,at least from experience and I wish I would of supported it better maybe withsome money, but alas I did not.
     
    To TetRefine for actually expressing my political views in amore eloquent way than I ever could (well I agreed with most of what you've said)to Billy, I'm sorry, still. What I did was terribly rude, but I know you'repast that and probably enjoying your life wherever that may be. To Arpeggio,don't be f**king stupid, stay clean, I enjoyed our talks, albeit the randomnessthey were. you're a chill little dude and don't let the freaks on this boardget into your life and ask all the time or give "reports" about howyou are. I thought that was so tacky to see "Arpeggio is fine" whatlol?
     
    To Jamessavik and Mark Arbour, the only older men I'dprobably f**k countless times. I would say that to MikeL but he is married andcool like that.
     
    To my editors the amazing MikeL and the legendary andvanished David McLeod for helping me finish and make the story Elijah as legitas possible.
     
    To PlugInMatty, dude I'd marry you, you know how I feel.Blow me etc etc. Also an amazing editor, hit him up, he'll tell you how ittruly is.
     
    To Princess Duchess you look awesome! I'm thoroughly impresseddude. Losing weight is VERY hard for some people, well most, so I hope youunderstand how epic that is. Dedicate yourself to the gym, being healthy andyou'll be the talk of the town (I'm sure you already are, how is that radiothing going?).
     
    To the countless other people who I had the pleasure ofinsulting, charming or just talking to in passing, thanks for the fun.
     
    I leave here not angry, I am just departing because, like Isaid, I have nothing more to offer. Or nothing of worth to offer. Certainaspects of GA concern me though.
     
    To many people have a woe-as-me attitude, the same problemseach month in their blog posts. As some of you might know (probably all theFANBOIZ) I was given a warning status because somebody felt I was harassingWatchPatRun.
     
    Let me pull away the screen behind the mirror, as this willbe my last ruthless trolling attempt before I return to my humble exit; Youwant to know why I troll you dude? Your entire existence on this board is asfollows: and like we talked briefly in chat, I thought you were down withf**king around and crass humor, I guess not~
     
    1) I'm so troubled
     
    2) Hey, here is a photo, tell me how I look. I know its thesame as the last one, but that's chill.
     
    3) I wish I had more confidence
     
    4) Why does the world kick me when I'm down?
     
    5) Why does it always rain upon me?
     
    Maybe this will annoy you enough to be a badass rather thana gardener. And no, I never had a "crush" on you lol. The f**k? Whywould I have a crush on somebody over the internet, I only bring this up causeseveral members asked me if I truly did. Like I said, I'm a lays guy, not acheeto's guy. Wait, doesn't Lays make cheeto's?
     
    Sadly, half the members eat it up though. Your sparklingblue eyes and generic looks take the cake for some of the lonely people on thisboard. But now do you understand? It's sad how the woman at your work mad youcry, why do you let people make you cry? I know you have an army of followersfrom the chat, but do you know why they like you? Cause your a nice face, whatif you didn't post your face? Would people still comfort you for your loses,think about it? Also, the list above was NOT from me but another member I wasspeaking to and he and I discussed the little incident. I just wanted to passthat along. But I feel that somebody might cry, or complain, one of yourfanboys (I think it was Wildone) might report me. If the mods chose to banzorme for the above statements, fine, at this point I don't care but at least someof the people that will read through this will "see" and understand.And Pat you shouldn't take this to heart, cause in your scathing PM you saidthat nothing I say on this board means anything to anyone.
     
    And another thing, if you have something to say to somebody,if they do something you don't like, say it to their face. That is how reallife works, don't go behind their backs or talk to your peanut gallery. Ifanybody has issues with what I said, PM me, lets talk, I might reply eitherway, I might not. This goes for everyone on this board because we all know itsno secret all the little, pardon me, gay cliques that go on here. My lord, itisn't high school.
     
    GA seems like sometimes, the people here, create problemsfor themselves. Or they come here seeking advice or help, yet the people arethis board (some, not all mind you) are also so equally troubled, lost andconfused. There are trends, every cute young boy who joins the site and posts apicture gets instant access to the friend zone here, cause we all know somedirty old (gay) men fawn over that young ass.
     
    This is only a small part of GA, but it is still very brightand strange. Pat, you are what we would call a "career victim" and Iknow I am one of the many evil dark villains that passed through, now that itmatters.
     
    GA is a good place for the young to come and figurethemselves out, but I feel that somebody needs to pass on the reality here.Tell them that sometimes NO, it won't get better, your parents WILL hate youfor being a fag, this and that, it happens. But with such things, GA has astrange way of making people feel fantastic and I think that happens more thanthe former.
     
    For me its hard to care on the internet because I don't knowyou. Sometimes, in the past I've wished that some of you lived near me, went tothe school I did, partied at the same parties so we could KNOW each other,because some of you are AWEEESOMME. While others are just lost, lonely and usethe internet as a conduit of friendship. Its strange how when you join acommunity on the internet there are handfuls of great people that are so faraway from you. Why is that?
     
    I thought briefly on all of this and just felt it would befor the better. I know I won't be missed, but I don't care. I wanted my lastwords because, well, I am entitled to them. I know maybe a mod will come inhere and delete this, but I hope some people read through before that happens.I doubt I'll come look at responses, if any. If you wish to post somebody meanand harsh, fine, I don't think I'll reply because I clearly won, you're mad,right?
     
    I don't think GA can handle trolls, but, I might go post theURL on 4Chan, and then you guys will get flooded and DESTROYED lol. But that isa terrible thing for somebody to do, especially me. Anonymous can destroyanything, right James?
     
    But I digress from my bitter sounding words! I leave! Goodbye, I wish all of you who mattered to me the best, if I didn't matter to you,well I thank you for thinking of me all the same. To the great writers here,get published, do something with your talent, being cooped up here all yourcreative life is probably boring. Branch out at least.
     
    To those who care, fair winds and following seas, to thosewho don't, lol get laid and stop hanging around on some board cause you can'tget any in the real lifes.
     
    In the end though, GA is a nice place and I'm sure it'll bethat for years to come. Without me, it'll probably be even safer for theinnocent young men that travel through here. I'm like the Jabberf**kingwoky yo.
     
    With the highest respect and admiration,
     
    that boy
     
    Chase
  7. thatboyChase

    sit down

    By thatboyChase,

    shut up, and relaxxx
     

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1H7vZYBeHc
     
    so chill bra
     


     
    seeing these guys end of March f**king stoked and maybe just maybe Robyn will play with them, doubtful though =(
  8. thatboyChase

    jelly

    By thatboyChase,

    one issue I have with myself is that when I get jealous...I get jealousss. It isn't the pyscho bitch jealous though, its me in my head jealous, being angry at whomever I am jealous over. I don't get jealous often, which might explain why i take it so seriously. the other reoccurring theme is that its something i SHOULDN'T be jealous over. im sure i'll be over it tomorrow.
     
    I had a most enjoyable weekend. I went up north to a buddies lake house and partied, one of the guys there i had banged a while back and i had planned to f**k him, and I did. I even told him that he thought it was "sexy". I knew it'd be a one time thing, but he said things to me that were interesting. why he'd date me or why he likes this trait about me i never even noticed. usually it was a trait I try to not portray. It was very weird. He was and is very weird but so pretty.
     
    I felt it was a good thing cause i haven't had sex in like two months, very sad. I've been occupying myself with other things, but still. this month im really lusty, maybe thats why im jealous.
     
    i have a busy week ahead, essays due, tests, maybe i'll get scheduled to work. my parents went to hawaii so i might throw a party at my house cause my apartment smells like boy weed and probably vodka.
     
    I think I need to start writing, i haven't in a while but i should. It opens the mind!
     
    I think I know why im jealous, but i can't say, it'll expose my armor and i know some people with daggers. maybe I should grow up, I'm way childish sometimes.
     
     
  9. thatboyChase

    strangers we become

    By thatboyChase,

    i vent my frustration through thought-and maybe i feel better
     
     
    If I were to feel happy for someone, a friend, rather than annoyance and hate, would I feel better as a person? I can get over things like a champion, if it was an Olympic sport I'd get f**king gold, should I do that? Dust in the wind? But that is just heartless, then again, I have not much heart left.
     
    Should I care? Caring is for the weak, peons, slaves, not for warriors and high generals. We let others care for us. Let me ride my chariot, you hear.
     
    Maybe, just maybe I should care kindly for others. St. Peter would be pleased when I die, then. But isn't being too nice disgusting?
     
    If you asked me to choose between a shield and a sword, I would pick the sword.
     
    If you make a fool of me I will march on your pitiful fortress and level it. Thoroughly. But why? Is this my weakness, hubris? Am I to be blind like Oedipus? Why can I not be like Tiresias, see all through the eyes of Apollo, divine blindness.
     
    It is almost like my last name, or close to it. I'd be stuck at the top of the Tower of Hubris, like Baium, a king who pleaded the angels for ever lasting life only to be made into a monster frozen in stone forever. Left to the dirty winds. Everlasting life, what gives.
     
    If you show too much love, are you weak? Vulnerable? How come the nerdy boy with glasses is like puddy in my fingers, so easily charmed, I sink my teeth into him and inject inject inject. He is mine but why? Is it my power? What is this? What have I done?
     
    Yet when another comes who matches my wit and strategy, it is a challenge, I become exhausted. I am a fool.
     
    If I vomit emotion into something/someone, regardless if they know or not and I am let down....what an unfair defeat is this!? Why me? After all I have done...yet, is this the actual feeling that accompanies a heart break?
     
    But where is this heart to break?
     
    Like a sickness will it slowly go away? Perhaps the suddenness of it all took me by surprise. Ah, that could be it. I am immune to this...heart brokenness, at least I think I am. I break the hearts. Me. Not him or her or them. Me.
     
    If I do my taxes my occupation: Heartbreaker. What an evil title, who would want that?
     
    I am not insane, no. I can't be. I am to stupid to be insane. Insanity is brilliant no matter what the scenario.
     
    When will it be my day again?
     
    Sometimes months will be my months, everything is like an Irish summer morning; perfect.
     
    Yet, other times the stars fail to align and I am left stranded on a foreign shore with no vessel.
     
    Do I have problems?
     
    Am I the problem?
     
    Do you think of me the way I think of you?
     
    How are love and friendship different? They are the same, friendship a more passive love.
     
    Maybe if I tried, things would matter. I coast to much, I go through the motions.
     
    What if I made the motions?
     
    Some of the people I once knew, traveled far, I miss. Do they miss me?
     
    Do I talk to much?
     
    Why doesn't he talk? Did I say something wrong? He says he has nothing to say.
     
    Bullshit.
     
    Everyone has something to say.
     
    Hatred is so foreign. You cannot say you "hate" something unless you understand what hate is. A rising feeling of such foreboding and doom, vengeance, bloody victory. Who hates? Hate is the child of the Devil and even He does not hate the Lord above, for that is his son.
     
    If I adopt happiness, joy and omit the tragedy, waking up would be far less groggy.
     
    I am not down on life, life is a fantastic invention. The process, the situations. A rollercoaster of happiness, sadness, triumph rolled into one. I just want to lead it better, to not think such ill will to someone who I should be indifferent to.
     
    Is it true? "Treat others as you wish to be treated?"
     
    Maybe we should leave the judging to the judges. We aren't qualified.
     
    When my grandfather died he told my father, "the best is yet to come", at this death bed. It was the epithet left on his tomb stone. Is this true?
     
    Is it OKAY to look forward, to be optimistic?
     
    If you search a lifetime for someone to love, to sleep next to, will you find them? Life, The Great Hunt.
     
    Why is jealousy such a terrible thing, making you think impossibilities, harbor rude feelings for no good reason. I pray at night sometimes in hopes that the Lord will relinquish me of the silly, childish thoughts I have.
     
    Do you dream as I do?
     
    Do you long for the Greater Good, as I do?
     
    Why must I be just a ribbon on a branch?
    but A king is nothing without his court, he is simply nothing.
     
    a false king with a crown of blue ice, always avoiding the sun
  10. thatboyChase

    deck my hallz bby

    By thatboyChase,

    Today was an important day. It was a family Christmas party. mom side comes, cousins, yayyayaya, annoying uncles who think they are super cool but in fact they aren't, weird non-family additions to the party roster but we can't say no cause we're nice party.
     
    it went far better than I had expected. I figured they would be the boring Christian riff-raff that is my mom's side of the family here in California, but it was kind of fun. Maybe because I actually drank. they drank too, I just drank more. secretly of course, or at least i kept my drunkness to myself. At one point I do remember my mom saying, "stop acting like a drunkard" I laughed drunkenly.
     
    I live with room-mates now officially in Irvine, my parents are in Laguna still so I basically got "invited" to my house to have a party MY parents were putting on. My dad made it a big deal that I was being invited and if i did any naughty things he'd get mad. but i was an angel and did everything my mother asked, so now she'll leave me alone for like 2 months.
     
    I usually hang out there and do my laundry and still food (obvi) this has been going on for a few months now, so my home has taken such a strange change in how i view it. If you can imagine such a thing. Growing up there, my room etc. Yet now its not really "mine". Might seem strange to say this now at 21, i've known this when I was 18, but since I've left my dad says my mom is crazy. Constantly trying to figure out what I am doing (lulz). Her friends hang out there alot now apparently and my room has been changed into the "cats" room, instead of the garage. still trying to understand that logic but whatever.
     
    Have any of you been like flirted/bad joke'd to death by some straight punk ass? a friend of mine whom I enjoy lots has a boyfriend (or now apparently ex divided by some drama) that is constantly bringing up the fact, to me either in solo situations or group, that I am gay and like men. He is so astonished by the fact I'm gay and he is always, ALWAYS freaking out cause I act so "straight" (which isn't true i don't think) and then making jokes. Not really jokes about being gay but doing gay things, usually with me or he adds his friends in. At one point I thought it was cute however now its getting annoying....but sexy annoying
     
    He is actually a cop, 20 I think and currently going through the sheriff's academy. No bullshit all legit seen the gun, badge, not the other gun though =(. he is attractive and all and OF COURSE I'd f**k him, but still. At first I kind of fantasized about him being into me or something on the down low, but that is ridiculous and most likely un-true.
     
    I just am trying to wrap and understanding on why he has to bring it up all the time. I usually hang out with her at parties cause that bitch can find a party in a haystack and he tags along like a fool. He is all straight-edge cop can't do stuff but still drinks like his mom taught him good. whatever, but each time, no matter the setting he'll remind me i'm gay.
     
    I usually don't get annoyed at stuff like that, it doesn't matter to me but the fact he constantly says it each time, like a bad joke almost. it is intriguing in the least, he does have handcuffs. But why do some guys do that, seriously, what's the deal? Maybe we'll never know.
     
    I got my mom an awesome gift. My dad doesn't require anything of me except to live carry on his families name and succeed in life blah blah, however, my mother is a different story. Since the party she slaved over for months is over, now she relaxes and soon with a new IPOD NANO SUP WHAT UP. Long overdue. She constantly is wanting to "listen to my music" and always asking to borrow my itouch and shit. Obviously I said" NO" and she got all mad and I was like "u mad?" and trolled her away. But, I felt it was proper to give her this gift and I would preload on full MFing discography of the Beatles and Michael I touch bois Jackson and maybe some rascall flatts and other terrible music she listens to.
     
    This is actually apart of the game of "appeasing the parents", the Game of Houses, whatever you want to call it. After I bestow upon her this gift come jesus birthday she will not give me any shit for the next 2 months or so. So awesome, plus it has radio and she loves to listen to her radio. It also cost me $170. Steve Jobs better have a sweet f**king house tons of strippers and lines of coke out the butt.
     
    i don't even think he owns Apple anymore, but still 170 and it isn't even as big as my left testicle. Absurd.
     
    Have a safe holiday wherever you are, forgive the retards you run into and give a homeless person a dollar, just this once, ask a friend to lunch you haven't heard from in a while and party hard on new years. my life is alright, hope yours is too. bye
     
     
  11. thatboyChase
    (it will only make sense if you skimmed/read/looked at my other blog post a few days ago)
     
    this is what the step-mother of that cop boy i told you about previously yelled at him over the phone while we were hanging out.
     
    I decided to be the man and text him to hang out and he was super super down and I hung out with him and his three other friends who were nice and all that stuff. Towards the end of the night he had to drive his friends home but he wanted to still hang out with me(O___o) and its almost like 1 in the morning. All the mean while he is texting some girl he wants to bone and being all 12 years old about it. anyway, so i had been chillin with his friends and suddenly i got dem munchies. so he offered to buy me In & Out. I was down so we went there.
     
    he was furiously texting people while I stuffed my face and informed me his mother was coming here to check on him.
     
    the f**k? What mother comes to check on a 19 year old? I couldn't help but laugh. I thought it wasn't a big deal until we get to the car and she calls him.
     
    I've never heard a woman, especially a mother, speak to a child the way she did. She was yelling SO loud I could hear her over the phone cursing this kid out like sailors got nothing on her. I wish I would of recorded it on my phone, it was that good. And he was embarrassed as shit. However she was still coming here to check on him and after I heard her breath fire I was like "bro i gotta peace"
     
    i had made a fatal mistake prior and taken a ride from him cause i didn't want to drive (i was rather stoned). his mother had summoned him to another In & Out where he said he would be apparently but was not, i thought this was the source of her rage. He said he had to go talk to her and I was going. I literally threw a shit fit about going and dealing with WHATEVER was on that phone, so I gathered up my sword and board and prepared myself.
     
    we go to the other location were his mother was talking to some of his friends who apparently where there, completely irrelevant. This frazzeled nice looking woman introduces herself to me says, "Oh i've heard so much about you from megan" (his now ex GF- my friend) and i was like *gulp* and in the middle of a parking lot, full of college kids and people this woman lets forth the craziest ass ripping I have ever heard upon the cop kid. Storms raged, the earth shook and the end was truly near. She apologized to me for having to "witness" this.
     
    I sat in the f**king cold (remember he was my ride) for almost 2 hours while this woman, his mother at least how I am looking at it, ripped him across the face. I just sat and thought about how my nuts were shriveling up on the cold stone bench. I also found out tons of information that he had failed to tell me about his relationship with my friend, apparently he had been lying to his parents and tons of other things and apparently cheating. I was beside myself, rather frightened too. She would randomly ask me questions about the night to confirm his lies and or truths, but me being me, am pro and deception so I saved him a few times. maybe he'll let me suck his dick now? JKZ luluzluzlzulz. but literally. She YELLED at him in public. Come to find out its his step-mother and I had heard from his ex-girlfriend that his mother wasn't in the picture. She was some drug addict and didn't raise him, so his father remarried this woman who has been taking care of him and by her arguments towards him, she was pretty much in the right. Gave him a car, paying for his school paying for his sheriff academy and so forth.
     
    i was so frozen to death that i was unsure if i should laugh that a mother is scolding her son in public, not to mention later on in her dissertation she began to CRY in front of ME some kid she had just met,. While he and i were eating previously his ex girlfriend called me to make sure he was with me and the mother didn't know who "Chase" was until she put two and two together. hopefully whatever my friend said to her about me wasn't that bad.
     
    so like I said, I wasn't sure if I should laugh, laugh some more or comfort him. She allowed him to drive me home and we went back and I injected decent advice into him, like don't be an asshole to my friend who he broke up with for an incredibly ridiculous and hypocritical reason, its not even worth explaining, also not to LIE to his parents. f**k, I learned that when I was 12 years old, I took 10$ from my mom, lied about it and I have never seen my father so mad in his life. never happened again from that point. and also to get his stuff together. The kids he had with him when we were hanging out didn't seem shady or anything, but according to his step-mother were shady folks.
     
    And now tonight apparently there is a party and he wants me to go cause he knows some gay guy that I can have sex with. Literally that was his reason. Also funny part was when I was hanging out with his friends who he told I was gay before they hung out his buddy came up to me and said (after the cop kid made a stupid gay joke), "You know, everybody is gay except him, isn't that strange?" at the end of the night when we were outside my apartment chatting he got incredibly involved in what i was doing today, I told him i'd probably go to the gym and that was about it and he wanted a damn time schedule, I have no idea what to think... lol such a funny ass night, he got chewed out at around 12:30 and we finally left at like 2:15ish or so. the f**k bro
     
    found this sick song on a blog roll, don't mind the video but that accordion tickles me:
  12. thatboyChase
    i get very annoyed with living things, its a trend i fall into for no reason. well, maybe because i was drunk last night and did one of those "make moves on your supposed straight friend" but he didn't care, He just said nothing below the waist. As if retard, what happened to all the times you made out with me and all the times we cuddled blah blah blah. I can't touch yo dick? I was pretty plastered, but that is no excuse. i felt i molested him, he said he didn't care etc etc. My ego wasn't really bruised, he is my friend and a long time one at that, so that passed. but lately, despite that brief annoyance, life has been as if walking on glass shards. I do something with the result of being harmed, nothing detrimental mind you. my recovery factor for various mishaps/treachery/betrayal/hatred/vice/sin is remarkable. you could say that i "don't care" which makes it easy to bypass so many things, that sounds selfish i guess. I crave somebody to put me in my place, to control me in some sort of relationship, preferably partially romantic at best, its been to long since i've had a decent worthwhile relationship, especially with somebody who sees through my bullshit. I'm very lazy, or unmotivated, no idea why.
     
     
    my guilt is estranged though, I must say. Sometimes i feel so guilty. that passes though, everything passes. in time, as they say. But isn't that strange? Things come and go and drift. people, friends, relationships even the seasons. Its been so cold here, maybe that is to lend to my deplorable mood. a part of me feels creative enough to write something, writing is a good conduit of emotion I'd say. I'm doing it now, soon this will ebb away, just gettin the slime off.
     
    i'm always reviewing things in my life. How I am doing, how i deal with people, especially my friends. I'll look at my friends and rip them apart, personally, to see if they are really worth being friends with. is that friendship? i think i'm a good friend, Almost to loyal sometimes. I look back and wonder if they gave enough back as i have given to them, that is were i condemn them. But I am probably wrong Sometimes I feel shame, just in general for people. I see all these evil things, the level of villainy changes obviously. i feel shame for myself, my immense amount of sloth, my tragic hate for the worthless things, i hate trivial matters. I hate when people bring up trivial things, I hate when couples fight over trivial bullshit that will never get them anywhere.
     
    i can't say i feel accomplished. At least not yet. School has been difficult, I am taking 15 units, some can easily do that with their eyes closed. The classes I am taking however have me reading constantly, i'm a supposed english major with a hatred for reading? i've read this semester:
     
    heart of darkness
     
    Jane Eyre
     
    Robinson Crusoe
     
    Huckleberry Finn
     
    Pride and Prejudice
     
    in full mind you and that's just one class, the next various assortment of romantic writings from Hawthorne, Poe, Melville, some titles, Walden, Mary Rowlandson, various speeches, the Federalist Papers etc etc
     
    then from there in another class
     
    Beyond Good and Evil
     
    The Gay Sciences
     
    China Men
     
    Labyrinth of Solitude
     
    Plato's Dialogues
     
    Prometheus Bound
     
    the f**k bro. I mean, i like most of it. But still, that is a ton, not to mention each week. Its rather stressful, thank god for weed. Still, I don't feel very scholarly. I need to leave this state, its becoming arduous, treacherous, dangerous lots of ous ous.
     
    but school aside, I don't know what to do with myself. I've started going to gym again 5 days a week to make up for all the dead time between barely doing homework and caring. i'm a very bitter person, but for what reason?
     
     
    I can't think of anything "wrong" with my life. as opposed to some people, like my friends dying grandma has to live with him, my other friends are having housing issues they might be evicted, others have more issues with money, some parents are getting a divorce. not to say said friends are suffering, some are away at school, away from the taint. I still cannot think of anything wrong, so where does it justify that i have to be such a cruel person to the world? I have much of what i want, my car works, I have no issues with money, I'm going to school, I don't work, my parents are fine and dandy as my parents. Christmas is almost here.
     
    perhaps its to much introspection, to much self-pity. A logical answer would be to get my junk sucked, or get laid, or both. Something. I haven't even had the libido to touch my penis lately. I just don't careeeeee. i'm an incredibly sexual person, borderline annoying in my opinion, sometimes at least, and right now i'm dry as a desert. No, I can still produce sperm.
     
    Maybe its the season, the cold, gray weather. But shit, I like that weather, its romantic and dark. Cool stuff like that. sometimes I wonder if I'm depressed, but i can't be, It doesn't seem logical to me. I have nothing to be sad about, frankly.
     
    Like I said in the beginning, this feeling of boringness will ebb way. yet it is trendy, which annoys me. writing helps, like this right now. I feel that i must increase my worth, or else the machine will not work because the worthless are not needed and they impede progress. Progress is essential, right now I am just here, Existing. I will return to my usual candor, but for now i'll just be here like a ribbon on a branch. So with that being said, i'm going up to berkley and the City this weekend to get f**ked up and hang out with friends. I need it, or desire it rather. Maybe I'll get good lay. The next blog if i feel to make one will be better, not as dismal ugh.
     
     
     
     
     
    bye
  13. thatboyChase
    okay, this might not cater to all people here on GA. But I know some of you are there. I know it, i can smell your fandom.
     
    I know that anime existed when I was younger. I can't tell you how many pokemon i caught with ash katchup or whatever in like 6th grade.
     
    From then on I'd watch adult swim and shit then stopped when I thought there was cooler stuff to do. I remember that there were people who were into it at school. As I grew up I found that there were tons of people who were into it. Mostly the movie genre (and after researching it LOL there are so many f**king movies)
     
    (i'm going to drop titles below i'm sure most people will know them who enjoy the genre
     
    Now, being completely honest. I thought it was stupid and gay like during high school (the president of the anime club was in one of my lab classes he'd always give us flyers and shit) So one like summer I went to block buster couldn't find anything and I went through their anime section bought 'Withering Continent'. If i remember correctly it was about a group of explorer's who discover this ancient city. It was f**king confusing but it was cool. From then I watched Vampire D with somebody who forced me to watch it, the hand that talks is weird. After that the guy who made me watch Vampire D f**ked me with Princess Mononoke. From then I watched Metropolis, Howls Moving Castle, Ponyo. All of which have been from an outsider influence. I was asked to go see Ponyo and Howls Moving Castle. Not on my own accord mind you.
     
    Anyways, the past I guess week I've decided to like something I didn't like before (anime) and I checked Hulu.
     
    Holy f**k
     
    How do all the anime fans keep track? Especially when its in another language (that in itself I think is so f**king funny but I dunno if you understand it the way i do, maybe cause I'm stoned) Sure I've watched the occasional cowboy beepop on adult swim, but that is with multiple people and probably drugs and i have no real concept of the whole thing only that Japanese have nothing better to do than be boss at drawing.
     
    So anyways I looked through the various I guess TV Shows, I thought they were all movies, or just long movies broken up into episodes to seem like episodes or a show. Whatever, so I've been watching 'X'. Right now I'm on episode 6 I think. I'm paying attention to everything immersing myself etc. It is in Japanese (i think Oo) and reading comments people have INTENSE discussions on the validity of the words and stuff when translated. like for instance in 'X' the definite comedic character is a young guy named Kouya, plus whoever does his voice has to be on something. Always hitting on this one girl who can pull a sword out of her hand (whhhat), he calls her missie all the time. Who says missie? Anyways my point was very drawn out. I'm pretty sure people have stopped reading right now.
     
    But I wanted to share that. i get obsessed when I want to learn about something. but for those of you who did read and know about anime, what should I watch. Is everything fantasy/demons/angels/end of the world? Any gay stuff? Lol that would be weird, that was actually uncomfortable to write.also the music at the beginning and ending is really dumb.
     
    bye
  14. thatboyChase
    was the theme of pagent of the masters this year in laguna beach, its a cool thing, lots of local families are involved etc. yay hurrah. the cool thing is they dress people up and put make up on them then they recreate paintings, in the moment its really cool to watch cause it looks like a f**king real painting no joke. but after you've seen one you've seen them all. the funny part is the theme of the show was 'eat drink and be merry'
     
    my friends and i, classy us, brought in water bottles full of stolen vodka (one of the girls insisted she steal the booze rather than we buy it) which we drank, we stayed for about half way through the show, in the back laughing at how stupid the whole thing was people gave us dirty looks as we damned the whole event. I remember going when i was younger with my parents, it was cool then. If you do ever find yourself in laguna beach and are around during the art festival, go its fun for like an hour though and drink the booze there, they had so much wine. here goe here www.pagentofthemasters.com or google.com to actually search for it cause like i dunno about that pagent website i just made it up assuming that'd work. what if its porn? like whitehouse.com lol i remember in like 2nd grade we were doing stuff on the white house, whitehouse.com is porn, whitehouse.org is what we want but who cares about the whitehouse, right now its full of black people.
     
    *cha cha ching*
     
    i haven't blogged lately, i've been doing absolutely nothing jobs are impossible to find i've become obsessed with running and doing ab work outs and i REALLY want to have sex alot and with everyone. I'm craving the need for companionship, something fresh, nothing that i've already been involved with. a stranger and then let everything just go. that would be hot.. i'm really clueless if i am getting hit on by people, i mean if they are being obvious okay i understand calm down son, but people can be sneaky and missing a good moment or oppertunity is a big ol' bitch imo. i can count the times i would miss that sick, digusting weight of luuurve.
     
    i'm looking at a 95% chance of going to boston in the spring. i applied to the school and they'll accept me with a higher GPA so i'm going to stay here one more f**king semester. I don't mind though, i feel something good will come of the months while here me and my frothing optimism which i implore everyone enjoy and use, it makes life better I guess. I don't think I could of up and left either, if I was to leave this fall, Maybe I'm being a big pussy. I need to start exploring and doing charles darwin shit, find me a cute botanist, sail to galapegos and have sex while riding sea turtles. mmm
     
    get him to the greek was really funny, but maybe just to me. i also had a very relaxing fourth of july. I also have discovered bittorrent, or torrenting whatever. holy christ on a cross. so much fun. my musical archives have since increased ten fold, i'm becoming a fiend of music its really bad. I'm also feeling a genre switch coming on but i don't know where it wants me to go!! the weather has been very form fitting for the big CA, it was raining a few days ago, and today it was so nice. I stole my friends bike and have been using it frequently. i think we should ditch cars and just ride bikes and for long distances we either ride dragons or can teleport, without much harm to ourselves of course.
  15. thatboyChase

    FML

    By thatboyChase,

    SO APPARENTLY one of my classes DIDN'T transfer and my GPA was like a milisecond off MOTHER f**kER.
     
    i don't know if i should cry or stab myself repeatedly in the face for being so ... i guess irresponsible. is that even a word.
     
    my hopes and dreams of going to boston are shattered, at least until spring. I need to do like 2 more classes then i'd be all fine and dandy, thats another 4 something months at home. Is that bad? I have no idea, a part of me is glad i want to be near my close friends here, i mean when the other ones go off back to school, whatever, a part of me is infuriated by the fact that i have to stay longer. i have no idea if my parents are okay with this. i called my dad while he was teeing off on the golf course which usually pisses him off and he just said do another semester then leave from there.
     
    i feel stupid though, like dumb. I did not meet the requirements, i could of checked ahead of time and figured out the class didn't transfer, I guess its on me right? i don't know if its okay that any of this is happening. i'll be behind YET again in the age spectrum if and when i finally go off to school. my intentions are TO go off to school , however if you add in the mixture my retardation it = a f**king disaster and the whole "I'm a responsible young adult" is shot to hell.
     
    this is clearly a venting blog, i just don't know whats right am i fail? do i still have time. some people take forever to 'go' to school. i feel like i have nothing to look forward to anymore. which is a lie, i have tons of things to look forward to.i dunno lol a friend of mine goes to st andrews school in wherever scotland/ireland and she brought back some british people, got drunk witht hem last night, i hope they liked me they were very nice and their accents were refreshing i'm very hung over and i feel trashy. i am going to go running right now though like that one movie with aldo snow but who likes f**king aldo snow apparently katy perry
     
    i did buy my edc ticket today, so in a week i'm gonna be raving my ass off, yay
    i know there are people worse off than me and when i say that they have zero aspirations to go to school, I WANT to leave. hell for arguments sake if I got accepted to that school i would of gone if i liked it or not just to leave. now i'm just spouting things out of my ass. i'll figure something out, i always do.
     
    i'm like f**king mcgyver err macgyver
  16. thatboyChase

    spanish

    By thatboyChase,

    2:06 and like the rest, holy shit i don't know what she is saying somebody translate. i bet its cheesy. i think tiesto played this at cochella this year, did anybody go?
  17. thatboyChase
    honestly, between me and you i think the best thing I've ever written was The Secret Life of the Overture Boys the best thing, now and before it was even conceived. I looked back at some of shit I wrote when I was younger, even now, Elijah, or the City of Rust (and i pray that once rust gets going it'll be good, i have it all in my head ) or the other currently failed attempt to resurrect the story of Elijah. to me, i thought it was my best writing. when I wrote it i was on fire and I don't remember what my muse was and its f**king lost and I want it back. writing is way to hard and to claim I want to be one when I get big and strong is STUPID. what alcoholic beverage do I need to drink to become like lord byron and hp lovecraft and wilde, salinger (yeah I think JD salinger was amazing and Holden Caulfield is like porn on words, i could get off to him, why? no idea dude, holden Caulfield gets me like no other and he isn't even real because Holden Caulfield is also the most terrible of people) etc and numerous other authors as an astute English major SHOULD KNOW but I don't... freaking god like creatures that were created for one reason to write, can't i be like that please?
     
    there has to be a way to find Anderson again
     
    i work early tomorrow, my failed tanning is now a sunburn... i need some aloe vera and a massage. i can't remember that muse for the life of me, and it was a muse i know that something pushed me along, a thought, idea, something that made me write like that. I must go on a quest.
  18. thatboyChase
    There is a house built out of stone
    Wooden floors, walls and window sills
    Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust
    This is a place where I don't feel alone
    This is a place where i feel at home
     
    And I built a home
    For you
    For me
     
    Until it disappeared
    From me
    From you
    And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust
     
    Out in the garden where we planted the seeds
    There is a tree that's old as me
    Branches were sewn by the color of green
    Ground had arose and passed its knees
     
    By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top
    I climbed the tree to see the world
    When the gusts came around to blow me down
    I held on as tightly as you held onto me
     
     
    And I built a home
    For you
    For me
     
    Until it disappeared
    From me
    From you
     
    And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust
     
    awesome
  20. thatboyChase
    1) go a place that is a reflection of now, but there is Rust everywhere.
    2) relive the first time you ever thought you actually loved another, cause we all know it felt great
    3) drinks with a snarky violinist in New York, drinks are on him
     
    pick one for it shall command my creativity. You do not need to understand each number to choose, whatever feels right, just a number will do do do.
  21. thatboyChase
    its pretty late, I should be asleep.
     
    i've been legit sober for about 2 days now, no weed and I don't drink enough (right now) to even count that. the reason for that is I have zero money and neither do my friends so we can't pinch a sack.
     
    if I had money I would clearly purchase, but---- the feeling is nice to be 'sober'. I say that loosely as there are people in the world whose sober days are way more intense than my pussy crap. my head feels pretty heavy but its nice to know i just haven't done it.
     
    it gives me satisfaction, maybe even a drop of happiness.
     
    my parents have been gone for about 2 and a half weeks now and holy shit is it boring. I guess I don't appreciate my parents enough because I want them to come home. yeah screw their silly rules and regulations, i like having other warm bodies around the house. granted while they were away the mice were at play. plus I had to do laundry and clean the dishes and take care of the cats, ugh work to be done by women (my mom). they come back thursday.
     
    back to satisfaciton, men satisfy me. they sure f**king do.
     
    lately (the past 3-5 months) I have found myself heavily picking apart my relationships with friends and categorizing them. I keep telling myself that because I am slowly getting older that I need to view things different instead of looking at it like a kid I guess. Sometimes I'll have a train of thought that will just plow through my brain for no reason, out of the blue. and to be honest I sometimes confuse reality with other things. to me thats more interesting than professional response of you might need help.
     
    I daydream so much now, I almost want to go to sleep so I can chase my dreams because I haven't had a solid dream for a while now a LONG while. I know dreams are very whimsy and you can remember and not remember. I read that smoking pot ruins your REM sleep cycle.
     
    anyways, I daydream and it leans heavily to sexual shit. Even while I'm out and about, undressing people with my eyes, christ I do that all the time now even to my friends. I look at my friends now I want to f**k at least a few of them. I try to think up situations in which I could pull that off to, weirdo<---. I haven't gotten ass in a few weeks, maybe that could be it, but I sure am horny.
     
    i'm horny for like, physicality. throwing someone up against a wall and eating off their face (see: making out) latenight hook-ups. I'm suprised I haven't looked at craiglist, thats pretty shady but I know better.
     
    And I wouldn't say I am desperate, usually my pickiness is unfair. my mind has just been going in all sorts of directions lately and its fun and slightly frightening at the same time.
     
    I wonder if anybody else has this, but; I have a friend, he and I hang out often. I think he is so delicious. I undress him with my eyes all the time and I'm pretty sure he is clueless. Who knows, but I just look at him, something to look at, to day dream about. I'll probably never get some, and come to think of it when I try to think of him in an intensly sexual way, it usually just drifts away. I have no idea why. I know it'll never happen but I don't care that it won't. He and I have kissed before, but that was in passing, I'm pretty sure he still remembers though which kind of gets me high. I do think of others in blissful euphoria, wrapped away with me in bedsheets, but this one with its feeling came to mind first.
     
    I just like to think about it, I like to think to that point were there is a connection but I sever it because... I don't know. I don't see it romantically, which is all fine and dandy. Many of you look at people on any given day and have some sort of sexual fantasy played out in your mind. I think I'm running in circles trying to explain this as the exact feeling is hard to describe.
     
    Certain things he does will annoy me but ONLY because I look at him in a way beyond some sort of friendship. You know, those little stupid things back in grade school when the boy or girl you were crushing on sat across the table from you instead of next to you and you get that slimy feeling in your stomach, like that.
     
    Perhaps it is not as dire as it was then back in grade school, but the feeling is still there. It annoys me when I feel it because I know it is connected to me wanting his ass all for myself. Its a bit twisted and selfish actually, now that I think about it.
     
    I don't lose sleep over this, no. Its just a game I play in my mind disproving my affections toward others, trying to figure myself out, the best person who knows you is YOU right?
     
    this is just one of the various things I want to sit down with somebody and just talk to them about, I think that would be a therapist/shrink whatever, but I am unsure if I actually want to do something like that or who exactly to go to. not to say that I have a problem, I just want to discuss it with somebody. why my mind will do that, rather than that.
     
    I feel sometimes I think way to hard. Boredom I think has a terrible effect. Its not even an actual THING, just a state of being/mind that f**ks with you. when your bored you think 100x faster and about more stuff, to name one of the symptoms. Probably need to go out and look harder for jobs. AND even midst this "nothing to do patch" which has been going on now for the past month or so, I've considered volunteering! Yes, another symptom is you do things you never would do in your right mind. Not to say volunteering is bad, but me....volunteering? Even you reading now is like, "f**k no. Helping others?" I remember Objectivist suggest that, silly goose
     
    I've said enough, I can't go further with my lustful musings for the sake of losing what little hope I have left. That sounded pretty emo. I also don't even know what I am saying anymore, I lost it a while back up there.
     
    Its gonna be like 81 tomorrow, beach day hollllaaa. I'm going to try and start writing this weekend, or get back into it as I haven't really written anything worthwhile in a few months.
     
     
    i am pretty sure though my cure for my incessant thoughts of lust, failure, bitterness and overall sloth feeling, would be a good f**k. but you can't have it all. I'll take the lust though.
     
    new southpark is on tomorrow (well er... tonight I guess) I'm on my spring break too, which is pretty failsauce right now since all my friends get back THE WEEK AFTER my spring break. bullshit. I'll make do though. In that spring break time, I've probably watched every single COPS episode on G4.
     
    alright so like I said before, I've said enough.
  22. thatboyChase

    disc unreadable

    By thatboyChase,

    This weekend was a blur.
     
     
     
    Saturday and Sunday are so smashed together I don't know up from down, right from left. My throat hurts cause I put genocide on some menthols, I think I have an ear infection cause I can hear my heartbeat. Everything literally moves slow and its just now hitting Thursday.
     
     
     
    I'm on my spring "break" which currently amounts to nothing right now. I have no job and I think I have wasted all possible resources because I think I have applied everywhere. Even jobs were I have refused to even wish to work, like Subway or something. It sucks being broke, it really does. I need a job, I have a few glimmers of hope left that I am going to go check tomorrow.
     
     
     
    Can't go into summer not having cash, how am I going to shop and buy more illegal substances?
     
     
     
    I wake up now feeling very bored. And there is nothing to do here. I have no desire to play video games (I haven't really sat down and nerded out in about 3 days) and part of my theorizing concludes that my lack of computer gaming has made me "feel" bored.
     
     
     
    My parents are out of town, so I usually occupy myself with cleaning the house doing laundry and keeping after our cats. I think this weekend I might even sweep out the garage and clean the outside windows of the house. I'm that bored.
     
     
     
    I also think the lack of job has something to do with it. Kids my age, right now would be working probably as well as going to class.
     
     
     
    Speaking of class, thats all going rather well actually. Been getting fine grades and stuff but I only go to class Monday night, Tuesday afternoon/evening and Wednesday evening. My weekend 'starts' Thursday with me having nothing to do. Sigh. My schedule is so basic it hurts. Gym in the morning, class in the afternoon/night, come home friends come over watch TV for hours. TV sucks btw its terrible, nothing good is on. Wife Swap, Tool Academy, the list goes on. Ghost Adventures though, that is priceless.
     
     
     
    I guess it sounds like I'm complaining, I'm not, I don't think at least. I just want to know if other people are like this too sometimes. When I was living up at school I usually had things to do, but here at home it sucks penis. Thankfully Spring break is coming for other institutions so people are coming home.
     
     
     
    I hang out with the same guys usually since my friend pool is very small while everyone is away. I need to get away, christ.
     
     
     
    My plan currently is to leave for Boston come Fall and that looks pretty A OK right now. I'm excited for summer, to go tanning, hopefully people will throw parties, shopping getting drunk/high. I do want a job though, I can social network easily and make more friends. I already have another friend from class, some cute guy who partied with my this weekend. He even bought a round, for all of us.
     
     
     
    I remember during high school March was the longest month, we had no days off. I think my main issue here is that I need to make myself busy. Homework? I don't get that much and if I do I usually finish it. My classes are once a week for 3 hours, so the curriculum is smashed together.
     
     
     
    I hope things pick up. My life at the dull drag its going is rather annoying. The funny thing is I'm doing most things right. I'm not ditching class, I'm going to class, I'm smoking hella pot but still getting my homework done, waking up. Being responsible might be the proper term but I'm so bored.
     
     
     
    Maybe I should take up a hobby like knitting or something. I've also been noticing how horny I am. I really will f**k anything, I've been looking at my friends lately salivating and I don't even find them all that attractive. The guy I was seeing before, Michael, I just stopped it with him. At least stopped having sex with him, or seeing him at all. Maybe we 'broke up'. Who knows.
     
     
     
    I'm pretty bitter at life, when things don't go my way. I haven't done much writing lately, maybe that's another reason for my dismay. I should get back to work on Elijah II and I've been mulling around these two ideas for a story of a relationship. But every time I map it out I feel defeated because I think it is to clich
  24. thatboyChase

    can't bs a bser

    By thatboyChase,

    so just now, I got back from dinner with my friend. He is like an okay friend, I was kinda close with him in high school but he soon got annoying and irritating beyond my wildest dreams.
     
    he called me a few weeks ago wanting to tell me about "pre-paid legal" and my genetic instinct (passed down by my father) deducted that it was a load of bullshit. but, as a good friend, I weave webs of illusion especially with friendship so I asked him to hang out and he wanted to go to dinner tonight.
     
    now, if somebody is trying to sell you something, they'll buy you dinner. he certainly did and tried to impress upon me the awesomeness that is pre-paid legal. I and my family don't believe in that stuff, as we work hard for our money. And speaking of money, my parents had cut off my money in previous months cause they wanted me to be responsible. So I've been job hunting ever since and this friend figured I "needed a helping hand".
     
    anyways, he sucked at selling this idea to me. My dad is a business man so countless hours at the dinner table hearing his tips tricks and how to deal with people paid off and I pretty much mentally called my friend on his bullshit.
     
    i know pre-paid legal is legit (I guess) in raw legal terms, its a weird modded out pyramid scheme thing. I wiki'd it, consulted my father about it. I know why it pulls people in, as the money you apparently get from it seems so easy. Does anybody here participate in this? I figured it is something people with a certain kind of mind do. I don't.
     
    I was insulted however that he thought he could pull me (of all people) into this. But I got a free dinner, so whatever, I wanted to express my displeasure with humanity though, people actually do this stuff.
     
    other than that, life is coasting smooth. my parents are going to hawaii for like 3 weeks in a week, so I'll have the house to myself. partay time. i've started working out again 5 days a week after taking a 2 month hiatus. winter does that to you, but I got my abs back, so working on yard work for my dad on the weekends, shirtless in the warm sun of California is great.
     
    and i'm still seeing that guy i mentioned a while back.
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