Enigma II. Fighting the Man - 23. Chapter 23 - Meeting the Boys

Ariel is a wonder. As soon as he is out of earshot of the Master he starts to chatter and his voice is light, like a waterfall, washing over me, soothing my fears, my doubts.

“You were awesome. I was watching you know. You dance like you have no bones in your body. And you are good... very good, if you know what I mean. I have never seen Boss that affected by sex. You had him trembling. How do you keep them on the edge for so long? I have a feeling that you could have kept him there a lot longer if he hadn’t stopped you. Boss never begs. Usually he doesn’t let them make him cum. You are special.”

“Boss? Is that what the Master likes to be called?”

Ariel stops so suddenly that I bump into him. He turns and stares at me. “Master? Where do you come from? And no, he doesn’t like it, not really.” He grins. “That’s why I call him it.”

“You call him Boss because he doesn’t like it?”

“Of course. It doesn’t do him any harm to be reminded now and again where the real power lies. He would be nothing without us and he knows it. He has the best team in the game. And now it’s gone up another notch. He will be rubbing his hands together for finding you, no doubt.

“Why did you agree to dance tonight? I wouldn’t have. Make him wait. Wait until he’s begging for it. You have to start as you mean to go on. If you let him think he can walk all over you he will. But if you stand up for yourself, he’s usually fair. He’s a lot better than some. He doesn’t force you into doing anything you don’t want to.”

“But he’s the Master. Why would I not do something if he wants me to?” I am confused by this little creature, who seems so wild and free.

“You said that before... Master.” He frowns and looks at me shrewdly. He makes me feel naked; not my clothes, I’m used to that but naked to my soul. For the first time since I came here I feel uncomfortable.

“You obviously know what you’re doing. You’ve been trained somewhere; you have skills and the confidence of someone who is used to using them. But... you seem lost somehow, as if this is not what you’re used to. What are you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Where did you learn... all this?”

“From my Masters.”

“Masters? I don’t understand. Were you into bondage or something? We don’t usually do that kind of thing here.”

“I am a slave.” It feels so good to say that, so liberating. I can be myself. I don’t have to pretend any more.

“Oh no you’re not... not here. No one here is a slave. But is that what you were? Were you a slave, really? I’ve heard of that. I wasn’t sure if it was real or just stories to scare us. I’ve never met anyone who was a slave before. I don’t think I believed it. The Boss doesn’t like it... he hates it. He’s basically a good man and he would never force someone into this way of life or hold them to it if they want to leave. Did you escape?”

“I was freed.”

“Wow. So why did you come back? If you were free why would you want to be a slave again?”

I shrug. Isn’t that the question? Do I even know the answer? “It’s who I am.”

“Hmmm... Maybe. Maybe not. Come on. You and I are going to have a long talk. But not now. Now I am going to show you around, introduce you to some of the guys and then you are going to need to get ready for tonight. Do you have a costume?”

“Costume?”

“Something to wear.”

“I didn’t think I was going to be wearing anything.”

“Do you have any stuff at all?”

“Stuff?”

“Clothes, personal belongings, precious possessions... stuff?”

“No. No stuff. Just me.”

He shakes his head. “Freaky. Come on. You’ll be alright. I’ll help you.”

Ariel leads me up the back stairs and along a long corridor with doors leading off on both sides. There are six on each. As we pass I wonder what lies behind the doors. It’s not that I care, not really. The wondering is idle.

“These are the rooms where we bring private clients. If someone likes what they see when we dance, they go and see the Boss... or Tony as he prefers to be called, and he negotiates with them. If the deal is sealed he allocates a room and we bring them up here and give them what they want. I think that it will be a little different with you though. You’ll be reserved for ‘special’ clients, like Asher.”

“Who’s Asher?”

“Oh, you’ll find out.”

I am smiling as I follow Ariel along the corridor, right to the end where another set of stairs lead upwards. This I understand. This is familiar. I know what goes on behind those doors, I have been on the other side of them often enough. I feel more confident than I have in a long time.

At the bottom of the stairs Ariel pauses. He points to a door on the left, just under the stairs. “That will be your room. I’ll show you later. Come and meet the guys first.”

The dormitory is large and airy. It takes up the whole of the attic space, except for the two bath/shower rooms at either end. The beds fit in under the eaves, leaving a large open space in the centre. There are ten beds, five on each side. Each bed has a small chest of drawers acting as a bedside table and a large wooden chest at the foot. The bedding is bright and colourful, except for four beds at the very centre which are carefully made up with white sheets and blankets. They look unused.

The space seems to be filled with boys. Two are stretched out on their beds, one reading and the other listening to music through headphones. A tall, blonde boy with a nice body, is standing in front of one of the large dormer windows, that flood the room with light, doing stretching exercises. A huge, spectacularly muscled man, with skin as black as ebony, is bench pressing in an area set up as a small home gym at one side.

The last boy is using the open space in the middle of the room to dance. He is pretty good but there are flaws in his style and flexibility that would not have been tolerated by my Masters, or any that I know. He is pretty though, and has a nice body, not spectacular but nice.

“Hey, you miserable whores, sit up and pay attention.” There are various mutters and cat calls, along the lines of ‘Fuck off Ariel’, but it didn’t seem to upset Ariel at all. Indeed he grins broadly. “Ok. If you don’t want to meet the new boy, then that’s just fine.”

At that they all stop what they are doing. “What new boy?” I smile. I am not averse to attention, not even the slightly hostile glare emanating from the dancer. Ariel notices and hisses to me sotto voce “Don’t mind him. He’s always a bitch. He feels intimidated because you’re so beautiful. He’s like that with everyone at first.” I don’t need his reassurance. I’m used to that too, so I turn to him and smile.

I feel so confident now, certain of myself, being myself again. The boys crowd round, the dancer holding back. They introduce themselves all at once and then repeat one by one after being shouted at by Ariel. The guy who had been reading was Sam, a feisty red head whose dark auburn hair and striking green eyes make a startling combination. He looks friendly.

The small, slender boy who was reading, is Suki. He is Oriental, with almond shaped, melting brown eyes and long hair, so black it seems to suck in shadow. It is silky and looks soft. I want to touch it but feel that maybe it won’t be appropriate right now. He smiles shyly and I return it just as gently.

The big black man is Alex and he is surprisingly soft spoken. His face is almost permanently split with a dazzling white smile and he seems to have an easy manner that attracts me immediately. I get the feeling from him that he will protect me; protect us all no matter what. He feels safe.

The blonde boy who was stretching in front of the window is Brad. He has the body of a Greek god but the soul of a surfer boy, innocent, sweet and lazy. He gets bored easily and is the first to wander off.

And then there is Lewis. He’s the dancer. He has cold blue eyes and long golden hair. The Master had called Ariel an ice queen but this one... I smile at him, my best and brightest smile which turns smug as I watch his eyes glaze. I notice that his hands are trembling and turn away. I know how to play these games. This is my world and no one is going to stop me being happy here... no one.

While we are talking... well, while they are talking, a door opens. I glance up to see another boy emerge from the bathroom, a towel wrapped loosely around his hips. He and I look up at the same time and our eyes meet. I am frozen with shock. He is the most beautiful boy I have ever seen. His hair is a glorious chestnut and his eyes a strange golden amber. His skin is flawless and lightly tanned.

My eyes wander lower, past full lips which, I notice, are not smiling, and then rove shamelessly over the creamy skin that covers his broad shoulders, defined chest and flat stomach. He is not as muscled as Alex, more slender and the lines are softer but there is still plenty of room for tone and definition. He has a dancer’s body, like mine.

He reminds me of... of... not that he looks like him, not really. It’s the colouring. The warm chestnut of his hair... the colour of his eyes... Something. But I am not going to think of that. I am not going to think of him. I wonder if he misses me. I wonder if he is looking for me. No.

He is watching me watch him. Now he has a very slight smile on his lips but very little expression in his eyes. I can’t help but smile. I know him.

Ignoring the others I drift through them and approach the beautiful being. He looks a little startled. When I am close enough, I hold out my hand, my eyes still locked with his, watching the expression change.

“You must be Asher.”

Asher’s eyes widen very slightly and for a moment he doesn’t move, simple stares at me. I learn a lot from that stare, everything I need to know. I wonder if he sees the same in mine. I am pretty sure he does.

After a while he lowers his eyes and looks at my hand. Slowly he stretches out his own and takes it. His fingers are cold. They are long and slender. The paleness of my skin makes his look darker. Our palms slide over each other and our hands fit together like yin and yang. He raises his eyes again and they look slightly shocked.

“I’m... Matthew.” Shit I am going to have to practice this. I keep wanting to say Silver but that wouldn’t be a good idea. This feels new and clean. It’s a new start and a new me.

“Matthew?” He sounds confused and I wonder why.

“Mhm.”

“I... Cool.”

For a moment it had looked as if he was going to say something but he glances up, seems to notice the others for the first time and then, without another word to me, turns away. Sweeping past me, every movement a dance, he glides to the stairs and disappears.

I notice that everyone had gone silent because, as soon as Asher disappears, everyone starts talking again. I have to admit that I feel a bit dazed by what happened, and I am finding it hard to concentrate on what they are saying, especially as they all seem to be talking at once.

I think Ariel realises that I’m not really up to all this because he grabs my hand and tows me away. Before I quite know what’s happening I find myself at the bottom of the steps. Ariel points to the door opposite the one he has told me is going to be mine and murmurs.

“That’s where Asher lives. I think he likes you.”

“You do?”

“He’s... strange. He doesn’t mix with the rest of us. He keeps apart. And he gets special treatment. Like the room. He rarely dances and when he does the place is always full. He only ‘entertains’ occasionally too... he gets such a high price, he doesn’t need to. Mostly he chooses them himself. He’s going to take over the place when Tony retires. He’s kind of the heir. Everyone’s scared of him.”

“Scared? Why?”

“Because he’s so... contained. He doesn’t seem to feel anything, anything at all... and when he dances...” He fans his face with his hand. Then he turns serious. “I have been around for a long time. I started when I was seven... the dancing that is, not the sex, that didn’t happen until I was fourteen and no... before you ask... I wasn’t forced, not exactly. Anyway, I have seen a lot of people dance in a lot of places. But there is only one person, ever, who has been close to him... better even.”

“Really? He’s that good? I look forward to seeing him.”

“Matthew...”

“Huh?” He’s looking at me strangely and it makes me feel nervous. “What’s wrong?” He smiles.

“Nothing. But you know I said I have only ever seen one person who is better than Asher?”

“Yes...?”

“It’s you.”

“Oh.” I don’t know why I am so surprised. I know I’m good, very good. I don’t think I’m back on full form though. When I was with my Master people were always telling me that I was the best. My last Master told me that I was the best there had ever been. I don’t believe that but I do believe that I was very, very good. I was one of the best. But I’m not any more... am I?

I smile warmly at him but he’s gone. What... where...? I am confused. He was there and now he isn’t. His voice sounds from inside the room under the stairs. “Are you going to come in or are you going to stand there all evening?” Ah well.

I duck into the room. I don’t know what I was expecting but, in fact it is very pleasant. It is quite small but there is plenty of room for a single bed, a large chest of drawers, a dressing table and a bookcase, which actually has books on it. There is a space in the corner, in front of the large window, where I can fix up an easel. I can put the painting supplies in the chest of drawers and use the top for palettes etc. There will be plenty of room and the natural light from the window will be perfect.

The room is very bland, decorated in muted shades of russet and beige. Ariel throws himself on the bed and looks around thoughtfully.

“This is not ‘you’. You need more colour in here. I will get something fixed up. You need clothes too. I don’t think any of us will have anything suitable. No one is quite your size... well not except... hmmm.” He puts his head on one side and squints at me. “Do you know how to apply cosmetics?”

“Of course.”

He nods, then springs to his feet. “Wait here.”

When he has gone I wander over to the window and look out. There isn’t much of a view. It’s just a darkening street. The cars spin past, their lights on. People walk by, some slowly, some quickly. Some of the clubs and pubs are already open. Some have been open all day. The signs are garish, many neon lit. They are what you would expect to find in a place like this. Strip clubs, tattooists, fetish bars, massage parlours, ‘costume’ shops which cater for everything from dominatrix’s to six foot four drag queens.

I know that many of the seedy facades hide activities that are seedy, to greater or lesser extents and usually illegal. I smile. This is my kind of place. To many people this is a dangerous place. Most of the general population sneer, as they pass along the end of the street but would not dare to set foot along it. To me it is, simply, home.

These are the people I understand, the activities I am familiar with requiring the skills I have in buckets. I feel completely relaxed for the first time in months. I feel guilty too. River has been so good to me. He tried so hard to make me feel at home in his world, and sometimes I was. Many times I was. When I was in his arms, I was always happy, always at home. But I can’t be in his arms all the time and now... now he doesn’t want me to be.

I close my eyes and think about River. There’s no point in trying to stop myself because I know that if I do, the feelings will overwhelm me. I have loved him so much. I love him so much. But he left me. He walked away and when he came back, he was different. He doesn’t love me any more. I can tell he doesn’t love me because of the way he looked at me. He shouted at me. He told me I’m selfish and I’m not sure I know what he meant. Maybe I am. I probably was.

I don’t understand River and I don’t understand his world. It’s better if I leave forever, better if I forget him and everything about him, better if I stick to my own kind. No one in River’s world likes or understands a whore. He is ashamed of me and that’s not fair on him. If I love him then I should let him go. I should not make him choose. He loves Ben now and I should be happy for him. It will make things better in the end. It will make things easier for him. I am doing the right thing. So then why does it hurt so much?

I open my eyes and realise that tears are pouring down my cheeks. I miss him so much. I miss his smile, I miss his eyes, I miss his touch, I miss his smell, I miss his kiss. Most of all I miss his voice. When he speaks to me, when he tells me he loves me, it is the sweetest sound. His voice makes me feel safe, it makes me feel special, it makes me feel... I made me feel... It’s gone now.

The realisation that I will never hear River’s voice again, slices through my mind and through my heart, as if it is a knife. I can’t breathe. I can’t move. I can’t... River... my River. I love you. I love you so much. How can I live without you?

“Okay... I have some things. It isn’t much but it will do for now. Once you have proven yourself to Tony he will get you your own things but...”

Ariel stops as I turn and he sees the tears. Dropping everything on the bed he throws himself at me like a small, sweet scented, whirlwind, silver hair flying everywhere. Suddenly he is holding me and I fall into his arms. He is too small to bear my weight, so we both fall to the floor. I lie where I have fallen and he eases himself into position so that my head is on his shoulder. For all that he is small he is strong.

He strokes my hair and sooths me. I feel safe to let go and sob until I feel empty. And then I just lie there, feeling limp and tired.

“Are you okay?”

It’s an effort to speak but this is Ariel after all. “Yes.”

“What happened?”

“I... I miss River.”

“What river? Was it near where you used to live? Do you miss your home? What river was it? Maybe I know where it is.”

“No... not ‘a’ river. River.”

“Is that a name?”

“Yes.”

“Weird. Was it someone you loved?”

“I still do.”

He nods gravely. “Does he still love you?”

“No.” It’s a whisper.

“Is that why you came here?”

“Yes. No. I... I didn’t belong in his world.”

Ariel seems to understand. He lays his cheek on my hair and holds me tight. “It will be okay. You have a new home now... here with us. We’ll look after you.”

After a time Ariel stirs. “We’d better get up. The club opens soon. Tony wants you to dance about nine o’clock. Asher isn’t dancing tonight, so you are taking the best spot. That gives us less than two hours to get you ready. Lewis is going on first and then Suki so you will be following two of the best.”

“Lewis isn’t that good.”

Ariel smiles. “Don’t let him hear you say that. He thinks he’s the best. He even says that he is better than Asher... but only when Asher is not there to hear.”

I think carefully. “He is good. He has the basics but there are flaws in his routine and he needs to be more flexible for the moves he does. Do you think I should offer to help, to teach him?”

Ariel shakes his head and says carefully. “No, I don’t think that would be a good idea. He wouldn’t take it as an offer of help, but as a criticism. Lewis is okay as long as you keep your distance but if you get on the wrong side of him he’s a real bitch and he won’t give you any peace. If he approaches you, then by all means do whatever you want but don’t offer him.”

I’m not sure I understand his reasons but I trust him so I nod. “Are you going to dance tonight? I would like to see you perform.”

Ariel smiles. “Tomorrow I will let you watch me practice. I won’t mind if you offer your help. I would be grateful. I know I’m not in your league, but I’m pretty good in my own way.” He gives me a blatantly seductive look.

“I’m sure you are.” I say returning it. He looks a little startled, a little dazed.

“You are good at this aren’t you?”

“Oh yes. The best.”

Ariel laughs and takes my hand, leading me towards the bed where he hurriedly sorts through the things he had dropped in a pile there.

“I think that these will fit you and will look great on you for the dance. Try them on.”

He hands me a pair of trousers that look like leather but feel much softer to the touch. They are laced up the side. I have worn similar ones and he’s right. They do look good in the dance. I smile and sift through my dances in my head. I know exactly the right one.

While Ariel rummages through the rest of the stuff, I quickly change. He turns holding something silver in his hand and freezes.

“Fuck.”

“What?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“You’re... you’re... just...You’re fucking awesome. I mean I knew... I could see... I knew you were... but...”

“Ariel you’re not making sense.”

He shakes his head and smiles. “Sorry. It’s just that you look so different. You have a great body and those trousers look amazing on you.”

“Thank you.”

He reaches out his hand and traces my scars which are now no more than faint silvery lines. “How did that happen?”

“It’s a long story.”

“I bet. You’ll have to tell me later but we don’t have time now.” He takes my hand and slides the silver cuff over it and up to my upper arm where it settles and glints seductively. “That looks great. It will catch the lights just right. Okay... Go take a shower while I sort through this stuff and get you the right cosmetics.”

I head for the door but he stops me. “Don’t wear those trousers.”

“Huh? Why not?”

“Just don’t, not now. Save them as a surprise for later.” His eyes are glittering with fun.

Quickly I pull off the trousers and slip on my own.

“There are towels in the bathroom, take one of those. I expect Tony will sort you out your own stuff tomorrow... especially after tonight.”

We share a conspiratorial smile before I slip out of the room, leaving him happily laying things out on the dressing table.