Enigma II. Fighting the Man - 28. Chapter 28 - Happy Days

Asher’s arms around me are warm and soft, just like his lips. I hear murmurs around me and Lewis’ voice raised in protest but nothing really means anything. Unlike our previous love making, this time Asher’s kiss is gentle, hesitant even. His hand slides down over my naked back, making me shiver, resting on the soft leather over the swell of my buttocks. My eyes are closed and I feel every touch, every breath as he buries his other hand in my hair. He pulls me towards him until my body melts into his and everything else simply goes away. My heart is soaring. I have never felt so free.

Finally Asher breaks away and I look around at a sea of stunned but basically pleased faces and one sour one. I tense and Asher, with his arm still around my waist, steers me toward the stairs. Making sure that I go first Asher puts his hand on my shoulder ensuring he maintains physical contact as we descend.

At the bottom he would have taken me into his room but I shake my head. “Ariel.” I whisper and he smiles.

“Go and get changed into something more comfortable and I’ll meet you in Ariel’s room in five minutes.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know.”

When I arrive in Ariel’s room, less than five minutes later, dressed in pyjamas Asher is already there. Ariel is still asleep and Asher is standing by the bed looking at him thoughtfully.

“He looks very young doesn’t he?”

“Yes. I was thinking that myself.”

“Do you think that’s why they come? None of Ariel’s clients will see anyone else. I’ve never thought about it before but I wonder if it’s because they like screwing children. Maybe they pretend...”

“Let’s not think about that. It’s giving me chills.”

Asher turns and his eyes glitter, more amber than gold now. “I’m glad I don’t look like a child. I don’t think I could stand someone like that laying their hands on me.”

I am lost in the thought that Asher most certainly does not look like a child and I am startled when he looks at me expectantly as if he has asked me a question.

“Sorry?”

Asher laughed. “Never mind that... What were you thinking about? Just then... when you were staring at me with that strange look on your face. What were you thinking about?”

I blush, feeling the heat rising from my breastbone to my cheeks. “I was thinking that I am really glad you don’t look like a child.”

He smiles again and moves to close the 3ft of space that separated us, taking me into his arms and holding me close.

“What do I look like?” He asks in a dreamy voice.

“The most beautiful man I have ever seen.” Entranced I lift my hand to his glorious hair, letting it slip through my fingers, barely feeling the fine silk that glides over my fingertips. The smile fades from his face to be replaced with a look of focussed intensity. He shakes his head and says

“If only I had that honour... but the beauty you see every time you look in a mirror eclipses anything I could ever aspire to.”

I’m blushing again, but grinning like an idiot. I am still grinning when he kisses me.

After a time I pull away. “We can’t... Ariel.”

“He’s sound asleep.”

“But he might wake at any time. After what he’s been through I want to be here for him... just for him.”

“I understand. Come.”

Flicking off the light he sinks to the floor with his back against the wall and draws me down to sit between his legs, my back towards him. He puts his arm around my waist and I lean my head back against his shoulder. It is the most comfortable, the most... safe, I have ever been.

With a guilty twinge I think of River. I have been so much in love with him and yet it hasn’t taken much for me to find... if not love then attraction and comfort in another man’s arms – but that’s what whores do, isn’t it? I can’t let myself love him any more. He’s gone, lost along with the other world, my other life. And yet, even here encircled by warm arms, resting against a strong shoulder, it’s River I’m thinking about.

In the darkness a tear rolls down my cheek but I have more control over my body than to let emotion get the better of it at a time like this. I force down the pain, the tears. Eventually I fall asleep.

In the middle of the night I wake suddenly. For a moment I can’t work out where I am; what woke me. It doesn’t take me long to realise it was Ariel. Asher is asleep, his head resting against the wall and his hands on my thighs. I am comfortable but cold.

“M... Matthew? Are you there?”

After everything that’s happened, it takes me a moment to remember that I am Matthew. I lay Asher’s hands on the floor and get up as carefully as I can. Asher murmurs in his sleep but doesn’t wake.

“Matthew, is that you? Who’s there?”

There is a note of panic in his voice. It is too dark to see but he hears me.

“It’s okay Ariel, it’s me.”

I can almost feel his relief. “Matthew I thought... I thought.”

I sit on the bed and he reaches for me, curling into my arms. Again I am washed with that overwhelming feeling of protectiveness. Guilt stabs at me as it strikes me for the second time that this must be how River feels about Ben. I unconsciously stroke Ariel’s hair and back. He sighs and relaxes.

“Thank you.” He murmurs. There is no need to say any more. We both know the score.

“It was my pleasure.”

“You did that for me.”

It isn’t a question but I answer anyway. “Of course. You’re my friend.”

“Friend?” He says wistfully.

“Yes. Friend.” I reply firmly, slightly stressing the second word.

Asher stirs sleepily and Ariel tenses.

“Who’s that?” He says sharply.

“Asher.”

For a moment he tenses then he goes limp in my arms.

“What’s wrong?” I am alarmed. I think he has collapsed. In a way he has.

“Nothing.” He whispers but I can hear the tears, the pain in his voice. I hold him close. What else can I do? There is nothing to say, nothing.

After a long time I feel by his breathing that he has fallen asleep. I lower him down onto the pillows and smooth his hair, even though I can’t see it. As always it is soft and fine. Tonight it feels sticky and not right... like Ariel. I feel bad for hurting him but what can I do?

“Will you come to bed with me now?” a soft voice whispers from the darkness. I shake my head even though I know he can’t see it.

“No. Not yet, not until I know he’s okay.”

“That’s going to be a long time. You know he is in love with you?”

I didn’t know. I hadn’t known. “Yes.”

I get up from the bed and stand for a moment, looking down at Asher. All I can see is a shadow in deeper shadow. With a sigh I sink into his arms, resting my face against his shoulder and feeling his strong arms around me. Suddenly I am very tired.

“Are you in love with him?”

I smile sadly. “No. I like him a lot but... he’s like a child. I can’t imagine...”

“Yeah.”

There is silence for a while and then Asher’s arms tighten almost imperceptibly and he whispers into my hair. “Are you in love with me?”

I have to think about it. He is very beautiful, very strong, very... like me. But... when I close my eyes and think of love his face is not the one I see.

“No.” I say finally with a tinge of regret.

“Good.” He says but he doesn’t really sound as if he means it. I sigh and fall asleep to the sound of his heart.

When I next wake, the curtains are thrown back from the window, allowing bright sunshine to bathe the room. The bed is empty and I feel sad that Ariel woke alone to see me in Asher’s arms. Asher stirs and yawns arching his back against the wall to ease the kinks of spending the night sitting upright against it. If his experience of slavery is anything like mine he will be used to it. The normal reaction of sliding down to lie on the floor is unthinkable.

“Do you want to share a shower?”

As soon as the words are out of his mouth I feel sticky and ucky and I grin. “Oh yes.”

The boys are sitting around chatting in the dorm. They look up at us and there are wide eyes and raised eyebrows but they all smile in a friendly way. I know that none of them will ever breathe a word of what we said.

“Tony says you have to change the bed and fix the door.”

“Does he now?” Asher growls. I put a hand on his arm.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

For a moment his hand is tense under mine, then he relaxes with a smile. “My DIY skills are crap but hey...”

As we are talking Ariel comes out of the shower with his hair a cloud of silver around his head and a towel wrapped around his waist. For a moment he stares at us with an unreadable expression and then suddenly he smiles, his face transforming and he runs across the room and throws himself into my arms.

“You should have told me.” He says eventually. “We’re friends, you should have told me.”

For a moment I am confused until I look around and see the rest of them looking slightly guilty. “I’m sorry but it’s not really something that comes up in casual conversation.”

“Have any of our conversations been casual ones.” He scolds.

I have to smile. “You have a point. I’m sorry Ariel.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about nothing. You saved my life.”

“I don’t think he would have killed you.”

“I don’t know. He was... he was...” He shudders deeply. “Whatever.” He lowers his head and bites his lip. I reach out and take his chin in my hand, tilting his face upwards.

“It wasn’t your fault.” He tries to turn his head away, but I won’t let him. “Ariel, that man was a monster. There was nothing you could have done. He was too big... too big for me. He would have killed me if not for Alex. He’s the one you should be thanking.”

Ariel glances at Alex and smiles. “I know but...” The smile disappears. “He did it on purpose.” He says quietly. “Tony did it on purpose. I was... he thought I was getting too demanding and he wanted to teach me a lesson.”

He looks at me as if he is challenging me to deny it, to disbelieve him. What can I say? I have never been good at lies. I have never really understood them. “I know. He told me.”

Ariel’s eyes widened slightly as if, although he had known the score, hearing it confirmed hurt him. But he is tougher than he looks and, after a moment he juts his chin and squares his shoulders.

“Well... I think he is going to be in for a shock. I am not going to give him the satisfaction.”

There were murmurs of support from all around and Ariel beams. He throws himself on his bed and stretches like a cat. He peers at me through half closed eyes.

“Are you two going to take a shower or what? You are making the place look untidy and you smell bad.”

“What?” I stare at him and then he grins and I realise that he was joking, breaking the ice, easing the tension. I sigh and smile.

Asher puts his arm around my shoulders and leads me to the bathroom. At the door I pause and look back. Ariel is curled on his side with his back to us. It makes me feel sad. I raise my eyes and meet Suki’s. He nods and smiles. I know that he understands. He rarely says anything but he understands. I smile back and slip inside the bathroom.

As soon as the door closes Asher catches me around the waist and spins me round, slamming me into the wall, and drops his head to my neck. As he massages my pulse point with his tongue his hand slides around to the small of my back and pulls me in to him.

I feel dizzy and start to shake. It’s been a long night and I really need this. Keeping it simple, Asher slides down my body, leaving a trail of kisses over my chest and stomach until he reaches the waistband of my pyjamas. Nudging it with his nose Asher probes my navel with his tongue and the shaking increases.

I close my eyes and surrender to the sensations of Asher’s expert tongue as it follows the trail down from my navel to my balls, leaving no place between unexplored. Somewhere along the way my pyjamas have disappeared and I am completely naked. It’s cold in the bathroom and, as well as shaking from Asher’s ministrations I am shivering with cold.

I know from experience that Asher could keep me here, just like this until my legs give way in a few hours. Not that mine would. I have my own tricks. But I find that I don’t want to play tricks. I don’t want to dance. I don’t want to play games. I just want to fuck.

“Asher...”

“Sssh.” Sinuously Asher slides up my body and kisses me. It is the same, gentle kiss that he gave me before and it is so beautiful. He runs his hands up and down my arms then breaks the kiss.

“Wait there. You’re freezing. I’m going to warm you up.”

I watch with half closed eyes as he switches on the shower and makes sure the water is at the right temperature. I love the shower. I remember the first time I met River, when I had a shower and... I close my eyes and a tear rolls out of the corner of one and tracks a slow trail down my cheek. Swallowing hard I blink the tears away. Now is not a time for looking back, not a time for regret.

I jump slightly when Asher puts his arm around my waist and draws me into the shower. The temperature is perfect and for a while we just stand beneath the water and hold each other. I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes.

When he starts to move his hands on my body I sigh but don’t move. I think he understands because he takes it slow with no tricks, no style just gentle sweetness. With the water still cascading over our bodies he puts his finger under my chin, just the gentlest of touches and raises my face to brush my lips with his own. It makes me shiver.

Asher smiles. “You are so beautiful.” He whispers, stroking my face. I feel good. I blink open my eyes but Asher isn't smiling any more. It’s hard to tell with the water in my eyes but, even though his hands are still caressing my body his eyes are sad.

“What’s wrong?” He smiles again but only with his mouth and shakes his head. “Asher?”

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry, nothing. I’m just... just so...” As he speaks he lowers his head and the last part of the sentence is lost in my mouth. I smile and surrender myself to him absolutely.