Damphir - 5. Chapter 5

I have a very advanced sense of self preservation. I had to, to have survived this long. I know when something isn't right, when there is danger lurking. I tick off the things that I know. I’m warm and comfortable so there is no threat of freezing or falling or being hurt by my immediate surroundings. There is an arm across my stomach and a deep rumbling coming from the body next to mine and so I should feel safe. I should feel as if I’m protected and taken care of, but I don’t. Something is wrong, something is... vampire. I can smell him and, now I’m awake, sense him watching me. Is it Sar? Why is he just watching? What’s he going to do? What should I do?

My eyes fly open and orient on the chair by the fire where a figure is sprawled nonchalantly, watching me with veiled eyes. He is beautiful in the way that vampires always are, with hair like ebony silk, sensuous, pouting lips and almond shaped eyes. In this case the eyes are utterly cold. My memories supply a name.

“Valentine.”

Rover stirs and grunts next to me but he doesn’t wake.

“I just popped in to see how you’re settling in,” Valentine drawls indolently. “It seems you’re making yourself quite at home. Although I have to admit to surprise that a pussy like you would be so at home among the dogs.”

“They’re not dogs; they’re wolves,” I snap as I sit up. Rover stirs and tries to pull me closer. I am so glad that I am feeling much stronger now; I have a feeling I’m going to need to be.

“Whatever,” Valentine says dismissively. “I suppose it’s inevitable that someone like you would end up with the dregs, after all that’s where you belong.”

“Someone like me?”

He ignores my question. He knows I know the answer. “If we were anywhere else but here I would have killed you while you slept.”

“If we were anywhere else but here I wouldn’t have been drugged and you wouldn’t have got anywhere near that close before I ripped your throat out.”

Valentine laughs and it isn't a nice one. “Dream on little pussy cat. Maybe one day you’ll find out how ridiculous that threat is.”

“Maybe one day you’ll find out that it’s not. Bring it, vampire.” I imbue the last word with just as much venom as most people do when they say Damphir.

“Oh my, the pretty kitty has claws.” He looks at me thoughtfully. “You are pretty you know, very pretty. You’d do well in the Circus.”

Despite myself I shiver. He’s not talking about the kind of circus with a big top and clowns. I know, I’ve come too close to being their star attraction. Wouldn’t they just love me now? They have things that can force a change and what would they do with my wings? A sliver of fear cuts through me but I thrust it aside.

“What the fuck are you doing here Valentine?” Rover growls, sitting up and putting his arm around me protectively.

“Just checking out our new guest and seeing if the rumours are true.”

“What rumours?” He growls and I wish he hadn’t asked, really I do.

“Oh, it’s being said,” he says, examining his nails, “that the pussy has you on a leash, and that you have been... how can I put this delicately... trying out a bit of pussy.”

I grab Rover’s arm just before he was about to spring. “Don't do it. Don’t you see that’s exactly what he wants? He’s baiting you.”

Valentine narrows his eyes at me, the smile freezing on his lips. I’ve seen that look before. He’s sizing me up, trying to work out what I’m about, if I’m a threat and, if so how much. He tilts his head to one side.

“Get the fuck out of here Valentine. No one invited you in.”

“I was invited in a long time ago, mutt. Don't forget whose room this is... and it ain’t the pussy cat’s.”

“It is now, fang face.”

“Only until the master returns. What then? Will he grovel among the animals or try to fit in with the... better people? I think, perhaps the answer provides itself.”

“If the ‘better people’ are all like you then you’re right... the answer does provide itself.”

Valentine gets to his feet and walks languidly around the room, absently picking things up, examining them and putting them down again. He is clearly not really looking at them. He is looking at me while trying not to show it.

“Just get out of here, Valentine.” Rover hugs me closer to his side but I pull away. I can feel Rover looking at me but I can’t afford to take my eyes off Valentine.

“Make me.” Valentine’s voice is smooth as silk and he sounds bored but I can see the tension in his shoulders. He still isn't sure about me. Nice, I like them off step. “Oh that’s right, you can’t.” He finally turns to face us. He’s still smiling and it’s still nasty but there is something that casts just the hint of a shadow across it. “It’s not your room: it’s Sar’s and Sar has invited me in so many times I’ve come to think of it as a home from home.”

Something tears through my stomach but I push it down impatiently. No way am I going to let this smug faced son of a bitch get to me. It’s not as if I care anyway.

“Really? That doesn’t tell us very much about what ‘he’ thinks does it? The fact remains that, for now at least this is MY room and you’re not invited.”

Valentine is looking a bit uncomfortable now. Although lack of invitation does not bar a vampire as such, there is enough symbolism about thresholds and doorways that still pulls at them and an invitation revoked is as much a blow to their pride as anything else.

“You can’t revoke the invitation. It’s not up to you.” He is starting to sound a little petulant and now it’s my turn to smile. Wisely Rover has subsided and taken a back seat, sensing that there is a game going on that he doesn’t understand the rules of. Hell, neither do I.

“As long as it’s my room it is up to me until Sartorian...” shit, why does that name make me shiver to say? Be careful or Valentine will notice and at the moment the disadvantage is his... “decides differently.”

“Who says it’s your room?” He snaps, now decidedly losing his cool.

“Who says it’s not? This is where I was put, this is where I have been sleeping, this is where my friends come to visit and this is where Fougue has been feeding me. In all of that no one, including Fougue has ever told me that this is not my room. Therefore, at this moment, until Fougue or Sartorian says otherwise... this is my room, and you are uninvited from it.”

“How dare you! How dare you uninvite me from somewhere in my own house you... you... you interloper.”

“Why beat around the bush Valentine? Why not just come out with the word you’re dying to say? Would it burn your lips?” Oh wow. If I keep this up for a while maybe I will actually get to see smoke coming out of his ears.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re on about, creep.” Cool, now he’s really losing it. I’ve got him on unstable ground, now to drop him down a sink hole.

“Damphir, you prick. I know that’s what you’re thinking. What right does a Damphir have to order you around, to uninvited you, to even speak to you? Isn’t that what you’re thinking, pretty boy?”

“I... Well yes, actually. It surprising but I’m glad you know your place.” Nice, he’s getting really rattled now, a rattled vampire is a vulnerable one, not that any vampire is really vulnerable.

“Well, let me tell you something, vampire, the only thing I’m ashamed of, in being a Damphir, is that part of my nature has to be a vampire. I hate being so supercilious, arrogant and, above all stupid. I much prefer my cat who at least has the sense to know what’s important in life and doesn’t go through it with a metal rod rammed up his arse.”

Valentine is incandescent with rage. Before, he was curious and he despised me... now he hates me. A vampire’s rage usually runs cold, it gives them an edge. Myself, I am used to being hot headed which, I think, is why cat usually gets his way; I’m used to being blazingly angry, which gives me the edge, I think.

“You have NO idea what it’s like being a vampire. You never have and never could come close to being one.”

“Really? If I’m such a corrupt and disgusting person who could never know what it’s like to be a true vampire, then why did Sartorian save me, practically rape me and then bring me here, to his own room?”

“Liar!” Oh ho, composure gone now. I likee. “Sartorian would never have soiled his hands with someone like you.”

“He soiled more than his hands and I’ll tell you something else, he wasn’t the only one with blood on his lips.”

“How dare you. How DARE you say that about him.”

“I say it because it’s true and if you really want me to I can demonstrate.”

“What?”

He’s such a bloody fool. I got him into a tizz so easily it was almost no fun at all. He didn’t even notice me getting free of the bedclothes. Still, that’s an advantage I am not going to be too proud to take advantage of. Get ready... stare... confuse and... “Ha... stupid vampire baby. You’ve never fought for your life, never had to face down hunters, never looked death in the face and spat in his eye... but I have.”

I tighten my arm around his neck and he finds out just how strong a Damphir can be, having the strength of a vampire augmented by that of a cat, a fey and a human. Come to think of it I’ve never really understood that myself until now. I can’t say that it was easy to take him completely by surprise, to leap over his head and land behind him, and it’s not easy to hold him now, not when he’s fighting so hard... so maybe I should take some of the fight out of him.

“And as for not being a true vampire... suck on this.” The taste of his blood is intoxicating. I have never drunk to drain before, never in combat, never to hurt. It’s worryingly good; the strength flowing into me from his blood is... intoxicating. I could go on forever, I could... I could... Oh shit.

Valentine has stopped struggling and his head has fallen forward on his chest. Hell, I got a bit lost in that, didn’t realise how far I’d gone. Letting Valentine go; instead of restraining him I find myself supporting him when his knees start to buckle.

“Shit Valentine, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to take it that far. It’s just you made me so mad and you were such a sarcastic twat. But I still didn’t mean to hurt you, not really.”

Valentine looks up at me with dazed eyes as if he doesn’t really know who I am or where he is.

“Valentine? Are you okay? Do you need me to call Fougue?”

He blinks at me and slowly life comes back into his eyes. Suddenly he jumps and looks around him, still quite stunned. “What the fuck... what... what did you do to me?”

“Only what you would have done to me, vampire. I was proving a point.”

“Proving a point?” He startles me, regaining his feet and pushing me away; glaring at me with eyes of fire. “You bit me... you damn near drained me. You little brat...”

“Be careful, Valentine. I wouldn’t want you to fall over again... and you haven’t even met cat yet.”

His eyes widen a little and he takes a half step back. “This isn’t over you little shit,” he hisses, “not by a long shot.” But before I can say anything he swirls and is gone.

“Glory,” Rover says softly, “that was completely fucking awesome but I think you might have made a really big mistake.”

“I have?”

“Valentine thinks he’s the big man in the house because, by and large, he is. He doesn’t give a shit about ‘the animals’ but as for the fey, he has them eating out of his hand which means that if he tells them to hate you they will. The other are are... well... not social and that leaves me and you against the rest of the house.”

“How many?”

“Two of us and five of them, although Falon is anyone’s guess so there might sometimes be three of us.”

“Great. And he’s going to be doing absolutely everything he possibly can to make my life a misery isn't he?”

“Yep.”

“And he’s going to act like a completely spoiled brat while he’s doing it isn’t he?”

“Yep.”

“So I am going to have to watch out for spit in my food and crap in my shoes, all that kind of infantile bollocks.”

“Oh yeah.” He nods his head, a tight smile on his lips.

“Fuck... as if I didn’t have enough to worry about. I couldn’t just let him...”

“Of course you couldn’t, but he’s a vamp. You know what they’re like about honour and all that crap.”

“Yeah.”

Sinking down on the bed, I bury my head in Rover’s shoulder and try to make the world go away. I would have gone a lot further in my attempts but Rover is resolutely refusing to play.

The next few days are a total nightmare, worse than I had imagined by a long shot. Fougue had pronounced me fit enough to integrate with the rest of the household and I have had to deal with five cold stares and so many stupid little incidents that pretty much the only place I feel safe is in my room. If I’d had my way I would spend all my time here but Fougue has strict rules on seclusion and even forces the weres to take part in some of the household chores and ‘activities’. Now I can far better understand Rover’s description of him as a headmaster. I’m feeling more and more like I’m in some kind of freaky boarding school.

Why on earth had I had to be so goddamn... stupid with Valentine? Well, I think I have my vamp side to blame for that. Pride and defensiveness is a lethal combination. Add to that a lifetime of running from a name that was being used as a hammer to beat me with, even though he never spoke it, and it was like a lit fuse in a powder keg. It was just bad luck that it had happened then, before I’d met anyone else and charmed them with my sparkling wit and repartee.

Oh who am I kidding? I’ve lived in the gutters for so long that’s where I belong. I don’t fit into a place like this, and I never will.

“Glory, didn’t you hear the bell?” Fougue’s voice is soft but there is an unspoken command there. It’s five past six; the dinner bell was rung five minutes ago and I should have been in the dining room by now.

“Yeah, I heard it.”

“Then why are you still here?”

“I’m not hungry. I don’t want to eat tonight. I’ll be fine here. I’ve found this book...”

“You can read your book later, Glory. Mealtimes are the only times we all get together and it’s important for house morale that we spend time together when we can.”

“House morale? I don’t know if you’ve noticed but house morale is a whole lot better when I’m not around.”

“Nonsense. Everyone finds it a little difficult to fit in at first. The others will soon warm to you but they won’t get the chance to know you if you don’t integrate.”

“Integrate? You mean make myself available to be the butt of their infantile jokes and spiteful comments? To sit and listen to Valentine’s veiled abuse and all of them laughing at me? And what is that supposed to do for my morale?” Is he really that stupid; or is he part of it? Is he here because he wants to see me hurt? It would make sense, after all. Why would he be different from the rest of them?

“As I said, Glory,” Fougue continues mildly as if he hasn’t heard a word I’ve said, “it is important that we spend as much time as we can together in order that we are all better able to be tolerant of each others’ differences and therefore better able to integrate back into society when we leave.”

“Integrate into...? Fougue I don’t know what world you are living in but I’m a Damphir. The only thing that society wants to do with me is exterminate me at the earliest opportunity. The only reason I have been able to live so long is because I’m so good at hiding. So let me hide.”

“You, of all people need to learn to get along with others, Glory. You, of all people have had the least experience of it and I’m afraid that if you don’t learn, you are going to keep on getting hurt.”

“As if you care. As if anyone cares.”

“Be assured that there are those who care. Glory. There are those who care deeply.”

“Yeah right... Rover. End of.”

“No, not end of. I would consider it a personal favour to me, if you would join us for dinner. But I won’t force you.”

As the door closes softly behind him I start to curse. There is no way I can refuse that. He knows how stubborn I am, how entrenched in my own righteousness; and yes I am self aware enough to appreciate that part of my ostracism arises from my own intransience; and that I will always react badly to command. He also knows that I feel obliged to him for the treatment I received when I first came. Damn him. He can be so manipulative.

Alright... well... here we go again. With a sigh, I put down my book and slide off the bed. Pausing at the door I look back into my room with real longing but I pretty much promised so reluctantly I close the door and, hanging my head, drag my feet along the corridors and down the stairs to the dining room.

The dining room is situated next to the kitchen. It’s the private dining room and is very plain, not grand at all. There is another dining room that Rover showed me on our exploration of the house. It is much, much grander and is only used for very special occasions. And then there is yet another, third dining room which is just as grand but much smaller. It is situated near to the room I now occupy and is used by Sartorian and those he honours with the invitation to dine with him.

Sartorian. How often have I rolled his name around in my head? I know he is going to return home soon. Everyone is surprised that he has been gone so long, even though Fougue has been clear in his explanation of Council business that is way too important to be shared by the likes of us. This explanation is readily accepted by everyone but Valentine who seems to think that it is his right to know more than everyone else.

“Whatever the reason for his absence one thing is clear: eventually he is going to come home. And then what? I haven’t seen him since the day he brought me here and all I remember is violence. I am sleeping in his bed, eating his food and generally becoming more and more reliant on his goodwill and what will happen when he returns? What will he do with me? What will he do to me? I let cat have his way with this one. For now everything is warm and comfortable and we’ll deal with what happens when it happens.