Damphir - 13. Chapter 13

The smoke is gone and it smells clean. It’s quiet and there’s a breeze on my face. I’m very sleepy and comfortable and I just want to... I want to...

“Sar, we have to go faster. They’ll be after us and...”

“I know Rover but I don’t see what we can do about it. I can’t run with him like this.”

“We could fly Sar.” That’s another voice I know. I don’t think I like the person who has that voice. I’m not sure why.

“Do you think you could hold him?”

“No but there’s no reason he can’t fly with me. It takes less energy that walking once we’re up there. I’ll guide him home and even if he can’t make it all the way we can at least get a safe distance away.”

Sar stops and I snuggle deeper into his chest. I have no idea why he stopped. Maybe it has something to do with the voices. I wasn’t really listening; I was too lost in the sound of his heart.

“Ugh.” My world turns upside down and I grab hold of him as best I can. I’m scared until I realise that all that’s happening is that he’s set me on my feet. I shake the sleep from my eyes. Actually, the fresh air is making me feel more awake than I have for a while.

“Glory, we have to get away from here and get away fast. I know you don’t understand but the place you were, the people you were with are bad, really bad. You might not have realised it but you were a prisoner there. They did bad things to you and they made you forget.” I don’t understand but unconsciously my hand goes to the collar around my throat. It’s never felt good, never been... right.

“Yes, that’s it, Glory. They put the collar on you and chained you like an animal but that’s over now and we’re going to take you home but...” He bites his lip looking as if he’s about to cry. I wonder why. I don’t want him to cry. Maybe if I... I touch his cheek and it makes him jump. Bugger, he’s crying even more now. What did I do? It’s nice when he puts his hand over mine though. Mmmm, it’s even nicer when he’s kissing it. I half close my eyes and purr.

“Glory, listen to me.” I open my eyes and look at him. He’s still crying but his voice is commanding. “The... the bad people are going to come after us. We have to get away from here really fast and you can’t run fast enough. I... I need you to fly. Pixie will help you and show you the way.”

“Fly?” I know I can. They let me fly sometimes but always with the chain on so I didn’t like it. They pull on the chain to make me come down and sometimes I hurt my wings. “I... I don’t...” my hand is tugging at the collar again and I think he must understand.

“It’s alright Glory. This time you will be flying free. Pixie will help you.”

“Pixie.” Now I remember. “Pixie hates me.”

“No he doesn’t Glory, he doesn’t hate you.”

“I thought I did.” A light voice, one that was spiteful to me, says. “I thought I hated you and once... once I hurt you but... I don’t hate you Glory. Don't you remember, we were friends? After... after I... We are friends now.”

“Friends?” I blink at him and remember. “Yes, friends.”

“Will you come with me? Will you let me guide you home?”

“Home... yes.”

I don’t know what’s happening to me but I feel... I feel stronger and less scared. Is it something to do with these people?

“Then fly, Glory, fly.”

Wow, he’s good at flying. He’s up in the air already, silver against the sun. Can I do that? Can I fly so high and fast and free? Woah. Wow. Wow I can. I can fly just as well as he can. It’s a long way down. They’re small all of a sudden and I can see... I can see...

“Come on Glory, we have to go... fast.”

“But they... they’re coming. We have to...”

“We have to get away, that’s what we have to do. We have to get as far away from here as possible Once he knows you’re getting away Sar will run, and Rover too. The others will just melt away and they won’t get caught. There are a lot of elementals out there fighting for you, a lot of weres, a lot of everything. They believe in you Glory, now believe in yourself and fly.”

So I fly.

Oh how I love to fly. It is so... up and down and round and round. Swooping, spinning, floating, dipping, soaring, soaring, soaring.

“Glory, you have to even out. If you keep expending energy like that you won’t make it home.”

Spoilsport. “If I have to.”

“You do.”

Actually it is quite nice flying next to Pixie and watching the ground float by underneath. I’m not so dizzy up here.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. I’m... confused.”

“I suppose you must be.” He pauses and frowns. “What do you remember?”

“Before the cage, not much.”

“The cage?”

“In the beginning they put me in a cage, with the monster. He’s not really a monster, just a really big werewolf. He can’t change one way or another so he’s angry all the time and he... um... he hurt me a lot. After than the Master got cross and took care of me himself. It wasn’t so bad then.”

“What... So you don’t remember me then?”

“I remember you hated me.”

“Look... I’m sorry about that. I was... I suppose in the beginning I was jealous of you but... well I suppose I got to like you at some point, brat that you are. It’s just that Valentine and I... we were more than friends and when he hated he expected me to hate. I did try... I tried to convince him that you were... but he hated you. He thought you were going to take Sar away from him. He really believed that one day he and Sar would get together and... ”

“I... I think I remember that too.” All this thinking is making me dizzy again and the ground speeding past below me is making my head spin. Maybe I’m air sick. That makes me giggle out loud.

“Are you okay?” Pixie asks again.

“Um...mmm...”

“Are you sure?”

I have to be careful here, because if I open my mouth I may very well be sick. “Yeah... good.”

I’m glad that Pixie is being quiet now. I can concentrate on keeping my stomach in my stomach.

“Do you remember Valentine?”

That name... that name... I do remember. I do... I...

“No. No he...he...” Images flash through my mind and pain rips through my stomach. Betrayal!! My head feels like it’s about to explode and suddenly, suddenly....

“Glory!”

The earth is rushing up to meet me at a ridiculously fast rate. Maybe I should try and slow down but... but I... Wow. There is a moment of complete disorientation as the ground bounces before I realise that Pixie has grabbed me and although he hasn’t quite managed to stop my fall he has slowed it down so that when we land it is with a jarring thud but doesn’t hurt.

As soon as my feet hit the ground I crumple and explosively deposit the contents of my stomach onto the grass. In fact I keep retching long after I’m empty. Images, thoughts, memories spin in my mind too fast to hold and then slowly settle. As my memory unlocks my horror grows. Valentine leaves a terrible taste in my mouth.

“Glory?” My head is so heavy but I just about manage to lift it high enough to see Pixie spin into view. “What happened?”

“I remembered.”

“God, I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry. I should never have asked you to remember when we were flying. I should never have mentioned his name.”

“No, you shouldn’t but... you didn’t know.”

“Are you okay? Can you fly?”

“I...” Can I? I don’t know. “Help me up. I’ll see.”

The earth wobbles but steadies as I lean against Pixie. “I’m okay, just give me a minute.”

“So do you remember now? Do you remember everything?”

“I remember before I was taken. I can’t say I remember much after that.” I feel hot and cold and shocked and scared. I don’t know why I’m scared but it may have something to do with the memories that are crawling through my mind like maggots through dead flesh. It’s like a dream, like a nightmare but there are images that are clear enough and they scare the hell out of me. “I need to get home now.”

“Okay. You go first; see if you can get off the ground.”

I can but it takes a lot out of me. The whole episode has exhausted me and I’m still very dizzy. It helps if I close my eyes but how can I fly blind? Pixie appears beside me. “Don’t push yourself too much. We don’t have far to go; we can afford to take it easy.”

I nod, not trusting myself to speak again. “What...?” Okay, take a deep breath to steady yourself Glory.

Feeling a bit hot... “Can you...? If I... If I close my eyes can you steer me?”

“Close your eyes? Why do you want to close your eyes?”

“Just... just feel a bit sick and wobbly.”

“Sure. Here... hold my hand.” His hand is cool and gentle. I look at him in surprise. I’ve never thought of him as gentle. He’s a bitch; end of... or maybe not. “Just close your eyes, Glory. Don't worry, you can trust me.” His voice is soft and he seems almost embarrassed by my look. Maybe he doesn’t want to be caught being kind. Anyway.

It is better with my eyes closed. The wind in my face is refreshing and I take in great big breaths and it does settle me. I’m tired now though, really tired. I hope it’s not much further. I don’t think I can fly very much further.

“It’s not far Glory, another five minutes and we’ll be there.”

Can he read my mind? How did he know what I was thinking? Ah well, doesn’t matter; five minutes, I can do five minutes. Five times sixty is three hundred, so if I count to three hundred slowly we’ll be there. It gives me something to focus on. It’s a struggle but I force myself to count one more and one more and... I start one beat to two counts and end up, by the time I get to five hundred, at four or five counts to a beat, and I’m still slowing.

“Pixie... I... I can’t...”

“Just a little bit more Glory, we’re going slowly but it really, really isn't far. Can you open your eyes now?”

I try and it’s not too bad. It still makes me dizzy to watch the ground speed by but I can stand it. “What am I looking at?”

“See that hill just ahead?”

“What hill?”

“That one.” He nods his head at this bloody big mountain.

“That’s the biggest ‘hill’ I have ever seen.”

Pixie looks over at me and grins. “Well, whatever, the house is right on the other side.”

I don’t know about this. We’re going to have to go up quite a bit before we can go over. We’ve been flying for ages and ages and I’m beat. I’m totally and completely beat. I can barely feel my wings and my body is cold and heavy as lead.

“Come on Glory, you can do it. Up we go.”

Shit...”Shit...Pixie...!!!” He’s soaring up and dragging me after him. If he lets go of me I am going to drop like a stone. The bastard could have warned me. “Pixie stop...stop!!!”

But he doesn’t stop. He keeps going up and up and up and... “No Pixie... please I... I can’t I...”

“Nearly there,” he calls jubilantly, exhilarated by the climb. He is almost directly above me, holding my wrist and literally dragging me. If he lets go I’m a dead man. I take a chance and look down between my dangling feet. Oh hell I wish I hadn’t. This time the ground doesn’t seem to be that far away at all and it’s sharp, really sharp.

“Pixie...” There’s no way he could have heard that. It’s just above a whisper... well somewhere between a whisper and a sob. Closing my eyes doesn’t help any more.

The ground drops away and so do I. Pixie must have been expecting me to fly alongside him once we got to the top of the mountain but at there’s no way, no way at all.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can’t.”

“Glory, you have to. Just another minute. Look... the house. You can see the house and it’s all downhill. All you have to do is float.”

“Can’t.”

Pixie flies slowly down until my feet hit the floor and I roll. When I stop, face down, I can’t move. My wings are trembling so much I can’t support them and they withdraw. I can’t help it. I can't stop them.

“Glory don’t do this. It’s just there. Just over the hill. Come on...” He pulls at my arm but I’m just too tired. I know I should get up. I know I should manifest my wings and float down. I know that I should... but I can’t.

“Ow.” Pixie turns me over and the sun catches me full in the face from behind him. It feels like it’s burning the retinas of my eyes.

“Glory, I know you’re tired but I can’t do it by myself. I can't carry you. Please... please try. Just one more try. Please.”

“Leave me.”

“Don’t be stupid. I can’t leave you here. And if I did then what? There’s no one left in the house, they all went to look for you. There’s only Fougue left and he can’t carry you either.”

“Leave me. Can't...”

“Yes you can. Do it, Glory. Just do it.”

I’m going to die. If he makes me stand up I am going to die and it will be all his fault. There is no way I am going to be able to stand upright and live. No way at all, definitely not, no chance... oh alright, maybe I’m not going to die after all but I am definitely not liking it. Upright is not good and there is not a chance on earth that he is going to get me to bring my wings back out again. Oh...oh... alright... okay that feels good. His hand is… Oh wow. I’ve been here before haven’t I? Just as long as he doesn’t slap me there again.

“Feeling better?”

“Feeling hornier.”

“Good... well I’m not going to take you there right now, but I will take you to the house like I promised Sar. Maybe, if you’re lucky, Sar will take you the rest of the way later.”

“Sar? Yeah right.”

“You don’t sound so sure?” Pixie seems surprised. I wonder why.

“We don’t exactly have the best relationship right now. Sometimes I think he likes me and sometimes I’m sure he hates me... we always seem to end up fighting and... I don’t know... I don’t need that right now.”

“You think he hates you? Man are you way off. You should have seen the way he lost it when he found out what happened. He had half the country mobilised and looking for you. Three Circuses have been completely closed down and the facilities are full of hunters and slavers. Okay most of them will be released after treatment but they’ll think twice about their career options maybe.

“Anyway, you know what Sar’s like: no one says ‘no’ to him and he’s been rushing about all over the place. Every time there was a lead he was the first on the scene. He’s kicked ass with I don’t know how many front men and he never seems to get tired. This time I have to admit that most of us were sceptical. We were worn out and fed up with false leads and having to watch Sar rip out guts and sweep through the camp like the reaper himself. We were getting a bit worried about him. He was obsessed Glory, and so angry.”

“Wow... he did all that for me?”

“Only for you.”

“Maybe... maybe he doesn’t hate me after all.”

Pixie smiles a gently smile. “Maybe he doesn’t. Now come on. After all that effort the least you can do is fly a couple of hundred yards to the bloody house.”

I blink at him. I think I’m still in shock after what he said. Sar did that? For me? Why? He doesn’t care about me that’s for sure. He’s pretty much said so more than once. I’m a thorn in his side, an annoyance, an annoying inconvenience. I wonder what’s going on inside his head. Maybe he feels responsible for me; after all he did kidnap me and beat me up and practically raped me. Maybe...

“Alright. I can do it.”

Taking a deep breath I follow Pixie and jump off the mountain. At first I drop fast because my wings really don’t want to come out and hurt like hell when they do. Aw, aw, aw, aw... shit... I’m going to die; I know I am I... Oh thank heaven; I’ve picked up a thermal. Oh that feels good, and there another. Pixie’s right. I can float down to the house.

Hey, the house looks great from up here. It’s a lot bigger than I thought it was. There are whole wings of it I’ve never been in and the grounds... the grounds are HUGE. I think there are stables. I’ll have to ask. I like to ride... well I’m sure I would like to ride if I got the chance. I like the idea of riding. I suppose it’s like flying but without having to use wings.

I wish I hadn’t thought about wings because mine are killing me. They’re really sore and my whole body is aching from the effort of trying to keep them open and up. My energy is fading fast and the dizziness is coming back along with the headache that has been plaguing me for days. I can't look at the house anymore because it’s too blurred and I have to concentrate really hard to keep heading in the right direction.

What is the right direction? I feel a bit strange and it’s hard to tell which way is up and which way is down. Frankly the sky and the earth are looking pretty much the same to me right now. There’s a strange buzzing in my ears... or is it inside me head. Perhaps it’s not there at all. Maybe it’s just inside my head.

It feels so much better if I close my eyes. The air around me seems to be getting thicker, so thick that I can rest on it. Oh yes, yes I can lie down on the cloud and it’s so soft, so beautifully soft. It’s supporting me, holding me up and I can stop stroking my wings and rest. That’s what I need to do...rest. I’ve been so, so tired, fighting so hard, I need to rest. I almost wish that I had stayed with Master. There I was warm. There I was comfortable and I could sleep... sleep. Mmm. Sleep is good. Cat likes to sleep.

Somewhere I can hear a voice calling but I’m not sure whether that might be inside my head too. Anyway it doesn’t matter. “Ow.” What was that? Something jerked my arm, almost out of its joint. I look up and there is something there, like a pretty umbrella over my head, lots of colours like oil on a puddle. It’s so pretty. I want to touch it. I raise my hand but I can’t reach it and anyway I’m too tired.

“Glory, wake up. Fly, Glory, I can't hold you. You’re too heavy. I can’t...”

“Mmmm.” The voice fades out and all that’s left are the clouds. I like the clouds. I can sleep in the clouds and I need to sleep so badly, so...