Primary Target - 5. Chapter 5

Thursday morning came quicker than I’d have liked. I shut my alarm off wearily and staggered to my shower. Once the water washed over me, it took the sleep along with it, waking me up in pampered fashion. Have I mentioned I really love my shower?

About ten minutes later, I jumped out and dried off before throwing my clothes on. I opted to go with clothes that seemed a bit more form fitting than what I wore yesterday. I had on my Death Knight tee I bought off the Internet a couple of months before the move and it’s one of my favorites. I have all the Warcraft classes in tee shirt form, but the DK one trumps the rest. I slid on a pair of khaki shorts that I thought made my butt look good before I found my socks and shoes. I trounced down the stairs and saw Conner waiting at the door for me, holding my bag.

“Thanks, bro,” I said I took my bag from him.

“I can’t believe you’re going to wear that shirt to school,” he said amusedly.

“Hey, Josh is a big Warcraft fan too. I bet he’ll get a kick out of it. And then probably guess my favorite race and poke fun at me forever for it.” I shrugged. “It’s not I really care what Alliance dogs think anyway.”

Conner just rolled his eyes. “Let’s just get going, Xan. We’re getting all your friends this morning, remember?” Yesterday, Josh and Jess told us that the rest of my friends lived on the route Conner drives to school when we came and moved Ben’s present – a new LCD TV. It’s not a big one, but when they each pooled about twenty-five dollars each together, it was within their budget. Kat mentioned something about him always bitching about his old TV breaking down and his parents being too stubborn to replace it. They kept telling their son it was still fixable. But I asked if the gift could also come from me as long as I paid part of everyone’s share back to them and they all agreed. No one argues with “free” money, right? So I gave everyone five bucks each to lessen their shares.

The car ride into school was uneventful as the SUV started filling up with my friends. Josh and Jess were the first stop. Next was Ben’s place, followed by Eric, and finally Kat. She said yesterday at lunch she didn’t mind walking to school since she was within two miles of it but I shot that down, saying it’d be fun having the whole crew in the car – plenty of room too. She agreed but still said she could walk if it came down to it.

We all arrived at school about twenty minutes early, giving us all time to chill before first period would begin. The six of us and Conner made our way to the Commons, a small, garden-like area. He almost took off when he saw his friends, but I nudged my brother and nodded slightly, telling him I thought now was a good time, already having briefed him on the situation. I caught Josh’s eye and gave him a slight nod as well. He returned it.

“Hey Eric,” Conner said. “Have a minute? My brother and I would like to talk to you.”

“Uh, sure,” he said apprehensively. “I didn’t do anything bad in your car, did I?” He slowly stood up and Josh patted him on the back. All four of us walked away from the others as they gave us confused looks. “Josh, they didn’t say–”

“No, he’s cool Eric,” I said. “In fact, he’s here because he knows what this is about.” That confused the boy a bit more so I decided to end the suspense. “He told me about your brother.” Eric’s face spun fast to Josh, anger evident. “Before you scream at Josh, he only told me about him because I am too.”

“Wait, w-what?” His anger contorted into frustration. “What’s this all about?”

“Eric, I’m gay – just like your brother. Conner is here because he’s offered to talk to you about helping you to come to terms with your brother. Josh told me you two were so tight before you found out.”

“W-We were…” Eric said. “I just want things to go back to normal for us. I hate being so pissed at him! Or him being pissed at me! Or… hell, I don’t know what’s wrong with us!”

“Why are you pissed, Eric?” I asked calmly. “I bet your brother is so scared to even try to talk to you if you’re harboring all this anger, even if it’s not directed at him. He probably thinks that so he’s keeping his distance. He’s giving you space.”

“But I-I’m not mad at him!” Eric almost shouted. “I-I could never be mad at Steve! H-He’s the coolest older brother! But… b-but then he met Adrian…”

“Eric I think I understand a little. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you feel betrayed. Like Adrian replaced you. Am I right?” Eric’s downcast fast shot up so fast and stared hard at Conner. I saw the streaks of tears crossing his cheeks. Slowly, he nodded. “Eric, that’s a silly thought to have. Adrian could never replace you as a brother. Hell, that’d make things awkward for him and Steve, I’d imagine.” All four of us chuckled. “Talk to Steve. Tell him all of this. Otherwise, you risk never talking to him again. Right now, the ball is in your court.” Conner patted him on the back. He slid Eric his number. “Feel free to call me anytime about this. I’m going to help you through this, I promise, from one straight brother to another.”

He took it. “T-Thanks,” he mumbled. He wiped his face.

“Now, before I go. I need to know one thing: you’re okay with Xander being gay, right?”

He looked a bit panic-stricken. “O-Of course I am!”

“It’s just,” Josh jumped in. “that sometimes you’re so bipolar towards gays. One day you’re nice to them, the next you’re not. I don’t know if you’ve noticed that.”

“Really? I’ve been mean? Oh shit… I didn’t mean t-to–” he slumped his head into Josh’s shoulder as sadness overtook him. Both Josh and I patted him on the back. I glanced over at the group. Only Kat was looking in our direction. She had a knowing smile on her face before she slowly turned back to the group. Eric pulled back from Josh. He turned to me. “I promise you, I’m going to look out for you if it comes down to it. I don’t really know you all that well yet, but I’d like to. It’ll help me patch things up with Steve, I hope. I… feel it’s my last chance.”

“Given time, you and Steve will be hanging out on a regular basis again,” I comforted. “And you’re going to have to be at least tolerant of Adrian – I’d guess he’s who you’re really mad at. Just try and let go of the anger and you’ll be fine. Plus, it’d mean the world to Steve if you can accept Adrian – it’d make him really happy.”

“Okay, my work here is done. Eric remember: anytime you have questions or need advice, alright?” Eric nodded at my brother. “Alright, see you kids after school.” He walked off and the three of us returned to the group.

“What was that all about?” Jess asked once she saw us return. Eric sat down next to Ben, who looked over at his friend with some concern. Josh and I sat across from the other four.

“It’s about what I want to tell you all about myself. I needed to talk to Eric first, to make sure he was okay with it. Josh told me he’d probably be the hardest sell.”

“Sell?” Ben turned to me. “What the hell, Xander? Sounds like you’re making a sales pitch.”

I laughed hesitantly. “In a way, I guess I am.” I glanced around and noticed we were alone. I took a deep breath and felt Josh’s hand rest on my shoulder. I saw him nod at me out of the corner of my eye. “I’m gay.”

“Damn, of course I try to hit on a gay guy,” Jess laughed with a bit of frustration. “Oh well. Your brother’s straight, right?”

“Yep. He’s all yours if you can woo him.” Jess’s eyes twinkled again at that thought. Kat slapped her on the shoulder with a smile on her face.

“I figured that’s what you guys were talking about,” Kat smiled again coyly. “That’s about the only subject that really upsets Eric. His brother, right?” I nodded. “Conner helping him out?” Again, I nodded.

“I wanted to make sure he gets back to talking with Steve. There’s still love between those two – it’s just buried under miscommunication. Conner and I want to clear it all away.”

“Gay, huh?” Ben piped up. “Never had a gay friend before.” His face was hard, almost like he was angry. But then he smiled. “More ladies for me, yes!” We all laughed.

“So I take it you’re all okay with this? If not… I can go sit elsewhere for lunch...”

“Don’t even think that!” Jess snapped. “You’re stuck with us now. So get over it. And don’t be afraid to bring your boyfriend over if you have one.”

“Nope, single right now,” I said a bit depressed. “But, I have my eye on someone.”

“Who?!” Both Kat and Jess nearly screamed. The other three boys groaned.

“Great, now it’s going to be a sausage fest at lunch,” Josh complained playfully.

“Hey, if you haven’t realized, there’s three of you and only two of them before I even came around,” I pointed out. “It always has been.” The girls nearly fell off their ledge as they cackled at my comeback. The other three couldn’t help but laugh back.

“That was good, Jacobs,” Ben said as he shook his head. “Wrong, but good.”

“You’ll find me endearing all the more the longer I hang out with you guys,” I smirked.

“What’s that mean?” Eric asked as he pushed his bangs out of his eyes.

“You’ll find out.”

“Can I least have that picture you showed me on the first day?” Jess asked me.

“What picture?” Kat asked as she composed herself again.

I pulled out my phone and sent a picture message to Jess. Her phone chimed as I showed Josh. “Whoa!” he exclaimed. “That’s freaky, Hordie.” As soon as Jess showed the others, similar shouts of surprise emanated from their direction. “By the way, cool shirt dude.”

“Thanks,” I said. “Oh Kat, you’re going for Student Council. I heard there’s a GSA here. Do you know how that works? Conner and I both want to join.”

She thought about it. “I think once the Councils are chosen all four grades’ get together and form the GSA from candidates that step forward. Ideally, they’d like an even mix of grade levels so they advise their particular grade’s council, but if there isn’t enough candidates, the GSA then advises all the councils and, regardless, becomes its own entity, so to speak, with their own President and whatnot. I think the Councils vote on that and stuff.”

“Okay, well then consider me and Conner candidates or whatever when you get that far, please. Do I need to do anything like sign up for it or fill out a form…?”

“No, not that I’m aware. Just that you’ll have to tell the President of your grade once picked. If I win, you’ll be fine. If Mason wins – I assume he’s running again – you’ll have to formally submit yourself for consideration.” I tensed up at her mentioning Mason’s name. She squinted at me, catching my reaction. “Oh my God, it’s Mason isn’t it?!” Jess whipped her head and stared at Kat.

“Is it?” Jess was so excited to find this morsel of information out she nearly stomped her feet. “Is it?!”

“Simmer down, girl!” I laughed, albeit nervously and trying to stall. Should I tell them who I’m crushing on? Would they tell me their crushes? They could and it wouldn’t really do me any good – I really don’t know anyone here still! I thought it over. “I’ll confirm or deny that if you tell me who you two are interested in. Maybe if I come across them, I can gauge their interest in either of you, if you do the same for me?”

“Oh, sneaky!” Kat giggled. “I like it. Okay, I’ll tell you mine, but I’ll have to bring a yearbook in so you know who the hell we’re talking about.” I nodded. “What about you, Jess? Willing to divulge?” She smiled at her friend.

She tapped her finger on his lips. “Well, now that Xander is out of the picture, I’ll have to move back to my old number one I guess.”

“I jumped to the top of your list?” I questioned.

“Well, yeah. You’re hot!” Jess turned to Kat and she nodded.

“It’s a shame that you’re gay.” Kat said to Jess, “It’s always the good ones, too.”

“What about us?” Eric flexed his arms, trying to impress the two girls. Ben mimicked his friend.

The two girls looked at each other. They faced Ben and Eric and proceed to fake puke in front of them. “Blech!”

I laughed as the two of them feigned hurt expressions. Ben turned to me. “Well?”

I stopped laughing. “…Well, what?”

“What do you think of us?” He cocked his head to the side.

“You actually want a gay boy’s opinion of how you two look? Like if I’d want to date either of you?” I wasn’t sure if this was some weird trap to embarrass me or something. I raised an eyebrow as I thought.

“Well, yeah,” Eric said. “You’re our friend, so your opinion matters, dude. Gay, straight, whatever. Plus, you’d probably be more honest than Cinderella and Dorothy over here anyway.”

I laughed at the comparisons as both Jess and Kat feigned their own hurt expressions before laughing. “He’s right, you know,” Jess said. “We’ve been friends too long to think of them as dateable material.” Kat nodded in agreement.

“Well, if you really want me to... you sure you guys are okay with what I might have to say? I was out at my old school, but I only had one friend that would ask of my opinion like that. It’s a bit… different that you’re all okay with it.”

“Yeah, dude,” Josh stood up and sat down over on Eric’s free side. “They wouldn’t ask if we aren't comfortable with the opinion. Right guys?” Eric and Ben agreed with Josh.

I stared at my friends intently and came to a decision. “Out of the three of you, I’d probably rank it Josh first, followed by Ben, and last but not least, Eric.”

“Last?!” Eric almost shouted as the other two suppressed laughs. “What’s wrong with me?”

“For me, it’s the hair dude,” I said honestly. “If you got it trimmed a bit…”

“I told you!” both Jess and Kat exclaimed. The girls high-fived one another.

“But other than that, you’re fine really. Your eyes get lost in that mop of yours. Maybe two inches?” I suggested, looking to the girls. They nodded at how much to get cut off. “And maybe try a straightener for those curls. Some people like them, others might not. Just try it once and see if you light straighter hair.”

“But I like my hair…” Eric grumbled.

“Want to get laid sometime this decade?” I countered. “Your hair gives off ‘Leave me alone’ vibes. At least to me it does. Hair grows back if you really don’t like it, Eric. And a straightener doesn’t make it straight forever.”

The bell rang and the six of us gathered our bags and made our way towards another fun day at school.

“Today we’re going to try some painting. Find your project partners and we’re going to work on portraits. Tomorrow you’ll switch it around. Who got painted today will paint the painter from today. Focus on your partner – don’t be concerned with background.”

I buried my face in my hands. I have to paint Mason?! Oh man, I’m horrible at drawing, let alone painting. At least I think so – Conner saw me paint once and said it wasn’t too bad, but I thought it was horrible. Now, give me my camera and I’ll take money shots of the boy so fast...

“Xander, you okay?” Mason asked as his hand rested on my shoulder. I felt his energy pouring into me from that contact; it made me feel stronger somehow. Like I could take on the world.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just had a pop quiz in science class and I just remember one of questions and realized I answered it wrong.” It wasn’t entirely a lie, but it wasn’t the full truth either. For some reason, I was afraid to tell Mason until I found out his orientation. I wanted to, but… I just couldn’t do it. I sighed.

“I hate pop quizzes too dude. They suck. Why don’t I paint first? You don’t seem up to it today.”

“Alright, I can work with that. Just tell me how you want me to pose.” I chuckled. “Preferably in a comfortable position is my only request. I don’t want to get stiff muscles if I can avoid it.”

Mason nodded and proceeded to manipulate my arms, and legs. Each time he touched me, I felt my heart skip a beat and I almost caught my breath. But after a minute, he had me sitting against the back of my chair comfortably, hands on the desk with my head turned slightly to my left, almost like I was reading or studying. “Okay, now if you can look like you’re thinking about something either hot or like you’re daydreaming.” I started thinking of Mason on the other side of the easel sitting and painting naked. “Perfect! Now don’t lose that thought, whatever it is.” I heard him pick up his painter’s tray or whatever it’s called. I locked onto the visual and I dared anyone to force me to let it go. I sighed a couple of times and somewhere in my mind, I realized I wasn’t getting aroused by this, for which I was totally grateful. All I need for Mason would be to paint me with a noticeable bulge in my shorts.

“Good work, Mason!” I heard the teacher speak to my partner, snapping me back to reality a bit. I think I dozed off with my eyes open, which was a first. The teacher nodded a few times and walked off.

“Okay, I think I’m done, Xander. You can move again.”

“Finally!” I cheered as I stood to stretch my back and arms. “Can I see it?”

“Do not show your partner your paintings just yet. On Monday, the two of you can trade paintings, allowing the second one to dry some over the weekend.” The bell rang, surprising me a little. I basically slept the whole hour and half long period. “Whoever still needing time to work on the painting come see me before you leave for the day.”

“Hey, wait up,” Mason called after me. I was almost out the door when I stopped. I squeezed back in past other leaving students. “I was just wondering if you’re joining any clubs like you said. Maybe if you did, we could hang out some a bit after class some.”

“I’m thinking about joining one, yeah,” I answered a bit mysteriously. I was afraid he’d want to know which one and I wasn’t sure I could tell him. Well, I guess I could tell him. “Oh, and I’ll be going out for the soccer team whenever that starts up.”

“Which one?” he pressed as we exited the room.

“Uh, the GSA.”

“Nice, dude!” Mason’s face beamed. “We’d get to hang out a lot then, since the GSA is kind of a part of the Student Council. Well, you know what I mean, I think.”

“Yeah, that’d be cool,” I replied. My mind was wandering a bit. Mason seemed eager to hang out with me… almost too much so – that’s a good thing so I wasn’t really complaining, just observing. But I should take what I can get, run with it, and be happy. “If I get President, I’ll vote you on for sure. Not sure about Katrina if she gets it, though.”

“Oh, she’s one of my friends I eat lunch with,” I smiled. “She’s cool. I already talked to her about it.”

For some reason, Mason’s smile dimmed a good bit. “Oh, yeah. Sounds good.” I saw a moment’s hesitation on his face before he rushed out, “Hey, I got to get going to catch the voting results. See you tomorrow?” He started backing away from me.

“Yeah, tomorrow. I got to go practice my brush strokes as I suck at painting.” I really wanted to say so I could capture his beauty on the canvas, but I bit my tongue. I’m not that bad a painter I guess, but it’s definitely something to be desired compared to my photography skills. I watched my guy – the guy I hoped would be my guy – disappear down a side hall. I headed towards Conner’s car. I arrived just as Conner was about to call someone.

“About time Xan,” Conner huffed. “I thought something happened to you…”

“Sorry all, Mason held me up a bit to talk to me about stuff. Didn’t mean to hold you all up.” I looked into the car and saw Kat was missing. “Where’s Kat?”

“Oh, Kat’s sticking around to hear the vote tally.” I mentally slapped myself – Mason just told me the same thing. All student council elections took place in a special homeroom. I had a tough choice for the President choice – my friend or possible boyfriend? I wanted to vote for Kat, but I felt compelled to vote for Mason against all better judgment. He doesn’t even know I’m gay yet! But I can’t change my vote now, regardless. “So, we all voted for Kat, right?” Jess spoke up as the SUV started to leave the parking lot.

“Of course,” Ben answered first. “She’d deck me if she found out I voted for Mason.”

“For sure,” Eric agreed and the two high-fived each other.

“If I didn’t Jess would kill me,” Josh said with a light giggle. All the eyes in the car save Conner turned to me.

“Well…” I started.

“WHAT?!” Jess screamed. “You voted for Mason?! How could you?”

“Remember that question you girls asked me this morning…” I trailed off, hoping I could still save some face by revealing my crush.

“So you voted for Mason just based off a crush you have for the guy?” Ben asked.

“Kind of…” I fidgeted in my seat as Conner drove past Kat’s house and headed towards Eric’s place. I turned in my seat to look at my group. “Kat will understand. I mean, haven’t you guys done something like that before?”

“I guess I kind of voted for Melody Turner for treasurer because I thought she was hot,” Josh confessed, helping me out.

“See? It’s not like I wanted to not vote for Kat. I was stuck with a lose-lose vote, really. I vote for Kat and I end up getting with Mason and he’s hurt because I voted for Kat; Kat gets hurt now because she finds out I voted for Mason when I really don’t know him yet. I was screwed either way.”

“I guess, but you get to tell her if she asks,” Jess said. “You can find out why it’s a bad idea to piss her off.”

“Guys,” Conner jumped in. “It’s not like his vote will be the deciding one, statistically speaking. It’s not like it’s a tie and Xander’s vote is the last one on the table.”

“You know, we’ll fillet you if Kat loses by one vote dude,” Eric said as Conner pulled up to his house. “See you guys tomorrow.” He disembarked from the vehicle and Conner took off towards the Chapman household.

“Eric’s right man,” Ben piped up. “Until that dude is your significant other, right now he’s the enemy.”

“Guys, you’re making me feel guilty for following my heart,” I pouted in the front seat. “I mean, if Kat loses she’ll be Vice President – not excommunicated from all of civilization…”

“Xander’s got a point too,” Josh said. “I don’t care how he voted, really. I’m glad he followed his own mind – or heart, maybe in this case. If I had a choice between a friend and a possible girlfriend I really wanted, I’d probably go with the girlfriend one most likely.”

“Of course you would Josh,” Jess spoke up as the car again slowed up, this time at Ben’s. “It’s because you’re a horn dog.”

“Alright, thanks for the lift Conner – beats the bus any day of the week,” Ben said as he slid out of his seat. “See everyone tomorrow.” The car ride was quiet as Conner headed towards the Rogers home. I could feel Jess’s eyes on me in an almost threatening manner while I heard Josh drumming on his armrests. The car pulled up to their house. Jess made a move and headed out. Josh didn’t.

“Josh, you coming?” Jess asked as she held the door open.

“No, I’m going with Xander to his house. He has a soccer net and I want to practice some before tryouts begin.” He turned and I heard his voice directed towards me. “It’s cool if I come over, right?”

“I don’t see a problem with it,” Conner thought. “Since I’d be in charge – Dad won’t be home for a while yet I don’t think.”

“Fine, whatever,” Jess sighed. “Thanks again Conner. Until tomorrow then.” She shut the door and disappeared towards her house.

“Hey come back here for a second, Xander.” I got out and reentered into the middle row as Josh climbed up to that row. I buckled up and Conner took off. “You okay?”

“I guess…” I mumbled. “Why is it such a big deal who I voted for? I shouldn’t have even said anything…”

“It really shouldn’t and you didn’t have to say anything if you didn’t want to. It’s just, with this group we’ve always voted for Kat and you’re the first that hasn’t. I understand why you didn’t though and I like your reasoning even if none of the others did.”

I looked up at Josh and saw him smiling a slightly sad smile towards me. “Thanks Alliance dog. That means a lot to me.”

“Anytime, Horde pig. Anytime.”

Josh hung out with me and Conner until Dad got home. My brother ran him home quick and returned in no time. In the interim, Dad and I whipped up something for dinner and dug in once Conner returned. The spaghetti was excellent as always and the toasted bread with garlic butter was pretty good alongside the main course. I excused myself when I finished and rinsed off my plate and added it to the dishwasher collection.

I lay on my bed with my science book in hand, trying to read the chapter I was assigned – something on basic chemistry. After a while of studying I yawned, struggling to stay awake as I kept feeling my eyes drooping. I put my book on my bed and decided to get up and try to fight the tiredness I felt. I decided to go see what Conner was up to. I left my room and knocked on his bedroom door. There wasn’t an answer or any movement at all. I turned to the office and peeked in – he wasn’t there either. With a change of plans as I figured Conner went out, I trudged down the steps and saw Dad in his office. I almost went in, but he seemed pretty busy, so I turned around and went to the living room. Channel surfing seemed futile as nothing good was on at this time of night – everything good just went off the air and most of the local stations only had news.

Disgusted with my options, I made my way back upstairs, cleaned off my bed and just decided to go to sleep.