Pussy Cat Pussy Cat - 8. Chapter 8

Agh, I hurt. I hurt. My shoulder is... oh it’s... Ahh, that’s better. Wait... what... what...? Where am I? This isn’t my room. It’s dark and smells weird and the bed is hard and lumpy and... Valentine.

Aw... I think I sat up too fast. There is a distinct possibility that my head is going to fall off. I hope my head is going to fall off, and then it won’t hurt so much. Poor Felix, he must have felt even worse than this when... Hell, where is Felix? What has Valentine done to him? And what about... about...? There was something. Just before I passed out I saw... I saw... What did I see? Ah... thinking hurts.

So, it’s not so dark after all, now that I’ve taken my face away from the wall. The room is small and dark and dingy but there is some light coming in through a grille in the door. It’s not much fun to move. My shoulder hurts, my head hurts and the bed is narrow and hard. Oh... and then there are the chains.

As soon as I woke up I realised that I was in chains and I think it is probably time to test them out a bit.

Actually it’s not hard to turn over. The chains are longer than I thought and I have to wonder why they bothered. I could probably walk to the door... or maybe not. I think I have overestimated the reach.

At least Felix is here. It looks like this is a cell made for two. He’s lying on a bed just like mine and he’s chained too. It looks as if the chains are actually part of the metal bars of the head and foot boards. The first link is at least. Oh what a lovely place.

“Felix? Are you okay?” I didn’t really expect him to answer. Okay... can I sit up? Yes. Can I sit on the edge of the bed? Yes. Can I stand? Just about. Can I reach Felix? No. The distance between the beds is too far for the chains to stretch. “Felix.” Still no answer, no movement. Bugger, I hope he’s okay. He’s had two doses of tranq today. The first one was bad and he’s not had time to get it out of his system. Is he...? “FELIX.”

I have to get over there. I have to touch him, to make sure he’s still alive at least. But how? Maybe I can move the bed. It’s not attached to the floor. I wonder if I can use the chains to drag it. Shit that screeching is awful. It’ll bring people in here... so what? Okay, one more tug and one more and...

Hell this is hard. I don’t feel very well and now I’m knackered. Oh... right, I can reach Felix now. He feels cold: so am I. I hadn’t realised how cold it was. The room is all stone... walls, floor, ceiling and it’s bloody cold. We don’t have any blankets or anything. He won’t wake up but he’s still alive so I suppose there isn’t really very much I can do. If he was dead there wouldn’t have been anything I could have done anyway.

My head hurts. There’s not much hope of getting out and I’m not going to get any sense out of Felix so I may as well lie down. It’s not much better lying down but at least I can relax a bit. Relax? Who the hell am I kidding? My mind is working overtime thinking of all the delightful things I am sure that Valentine has waiting for us behind that door. Where is Sar? I wish he was here. Oh god I wish he was here.

I need to pee. Great timing. I didn’t notice any toilet. Oh... Great. Struggling off the bed I move the cracked china pot as far away from the beds as I can and try not to miss.

With my bladder taken care of my stomach starts to make a nuisance of itself. I’m starving. I don’t suppose we’re going to be fed any time soon though.

Felix hasn’t made a move yet. Has he died? Shit, I hope not. Don’t be silly, Glory; of course he isn’t dead. But he has had a hell of a lot of tranq in him today. “Felix?” Shaking him isn’t doing much good. Maybe if I can get him over on his back... but how am I going to do that without pulling him off the bed?

Oh fab... thank God. I have never been so grateful to hear someone moan. “Felix, wake up. Are you okay... wake up.”

“What... what happened?”

“Valentine happened. He’s a complete bastard. He lived with Sar before I came along and was ridiculously jealous of me because he wanted Sar himself.”

“Why does that story sound familiar?”

“This is different. Valentine is evil. He didn’t want Sar; he wanted the status and privilege being with him would bring. He came to my room one night when I was asleep. He got me into the bliss and then I realised there was someone else there. Before I could come back they drugged me and when I woke – if that’s the word for it – I was in a circus. It wasn’t anything like yours; this was a pure and simple freak show.”

“Great... so we can expect a rough ride then.”

“I guess you could say that. Are you okay?”

“I’m not dead and that’s as far as I’m prepared to go.”

He’s not looking too good at all. The colour drains from his face as he sits up and props himself against the wall.

“You look like shit,” I said trying to smile at him. I have a feeling that it looks more like a grimace.

“I feel worse. But you don’t look so great yourself.”

“Bet I look better than you.” Oh well, at least I raised a smile.

“I guess being tranq’d twice in one day doesn’t agree with me.”

“Once doesn’t agree with me. I have a bitch of a headache.”

“Mmm I know what you mean. I’m having trouble keeping my stomach where it’s supposed to be. I don’t think it would be fun for either of us if I throw up now.”

“Our toilet is a soup bowl.”

“Huh?” His eyes look kind of unfocussed: I’m not really surprised. I nod towards the potty. “Eew, that makes my stomach feel a lot better.”

“I’d be really happy if you don’t throw up.”

“Me too.”

He does look as if he’s going to throw up. There is a significant greenish tinge around his mouth. I really would rather he didn’t. “I think it might be a good idea if you lie down for a while, until your stomach feels better.” He still looks a bit out of it but I don’t think he’s going to die now. Come to think about it I'm feeling a bit queasy and my headache isn’t going away so it won’t be such a bad idea if I lie down too. Ohhh yeah. Who would have thought that lying down on a crappy bed like this would feel so good?

“I’m sorry.”

“What?” I was almost asleep so I think the word came out a bit sharp. “I thought you were asleep.”

“No, I was thinking. I’m sorry I was such a bitch.”

“Don’t worry about it. I wasn’t exactly mature about it myself.”

“We were both twats.”

“Yeah.”

“Glory, I’m sorry about Rover.”

“He really is a great guy.”

“I know. I was...” He looks as if he’s going to cry. “It’s hard, Glory. I look into his eyes and I... I don’t know... I feel...” He sighs and closes his eyes. “The truth is, I'm scared. I’ve never been so scared... I mean of the whole thing. I’ve been on the run for my whole life until... And at the circus the weres were... were...”

“Freaks?”

“Yeah.” The word is almost a sigh. I think I know he feels. He looks hopeful now. I don’t want to talk about it but...

“There was one in the circus where I was who was called the monster. He was stuck permanently in the in between. He was kind of man shaped, only sort of stooped, but he had serious claws, and a muzzle. He was... crazy; I don’t know whether he had always been insane but by the time I got there he was totally nuts, really violent.

“When I first got there they put me in the cage with him.” I feel sick, physically shaking at the memory but I guess that I have to... “He... he hurt me. He hurt me a lot. I was drugged but... They thought that I might die... but I didn’t.” I try to smile but it’s just not there.

“Me too,” Felix whispers. “There were four of them. I wasn’t in a cage with them, and they weren’t insane but sometimes... sometimes they let them... if I did something wrong, and I...”

I didn’t think that his face could get any paler; I was wrong.

“Hey, don’t think about it. It’s over now or you will be sick for sure.”

“Yeah.” He’s still whispering and then he turns his face away and goes quiet. I don’t blame him. I really don’t want to talk about it either. The thing that I don’t want to talk about the most is that it’s not over. In fact it hasn’t even started yet. With Valentine I just can’t be sure.

“Glory.”

“It won’t be the same will it?”

“What won't be the same?”

“Wherever we go. It won't be like the last time. I won't be able to... It won’t be so good.”

“Probably not.”

“Definitely not. At least last time they didn’t know...”

“Know what?” Why does he suddenly look so scared? I mean he looked scared when we were talking about the circus but now...

“Nothing: it... doesn’t matter.”

Oh. Oh! No, not it can't be... but I saw... just before I passed out I saw... I thought I saw... “Felix,” I say carefully, “just before I passed out I saw...”

“Please Glory, not now. I don’t feel...”

“But...”

“No Glory. When we get out... Maybe when, when we get...”

We both look up sharply when an unpleasant scraping announces the imminent opening of the door.

Four men flood through the door, filling the small space: two to each bed. They look big and cold and very were. What are they going to do to us? It comes as a total shock when one of the were shoves something into my face. What the hell? I feel like I’m suffocating in folds of damp cloth. Of course I fight; I fight with all my strength but one of them is holding me down.

From the sound of it Felix is fighting harder... great, he’s really going to love weres now. Oh shit... I know what’s happening. I know what they’re doing; I can feel it. Everything is getting fuzzy and I can’t... I can't fight... I can’t...

“Ungh.”

“You okay?”

How come he’s awake first? He’s got shed loads of drugs in his system and I haven’t... well yeah, I guess I have. How funny is that?

“What’s so funny?”

“I have absolutely no idea. Where the fuck are we?” Oh god it’s hard to sit up. It looks like some kind of van. We’re both chained to the wall. I have no idea why I’m even bothering to pull on them. There is no way they are going anywhere. The door is open and Valentine is there. Where did he come from?

“Bastard. If I was free I’d rip out your throat.” Go Felix, you sound well pissed.

“Oh very frightening. I’m shaking in my shoes. I’m not worried because you are not going to be free... not ever.”

“Sar will find us.”

Valentine’s eyes are so cold as they turn on me. Have they always been like that? I mean they were always cold but were they so... dead?

“Not where you’re going.”

“He will track us down if he has to bring down every circus in the country.”

“But you’re not going to a circus.”

That was something I didn’t expect. “What? We’re not? Then where...?”

“I know a scientist who’s been studying the mechanics of the change. Of course he can’t experiment on true weres but Damphir... Who’s going to miss a couple of those?”

“I’m not Damphir. The Council...”

“The Council,” he spits, “are stupid, incompetent fools. Don’t put your faith in them to rescue you. You’re going to a laboratory that well outside the remit of the Council... untouchable; protected by the humans; on their side of town. You know what human generally think of the Council and they are especially protective of this place for some reason. If I were being uncharitable I might say that they are trying to hide what they are doing to weres... vamps too although no one is ever going to prove that.

“No, where you are going no one is going to be able to find you. You are going to simply disappear. You will become a number, an experiment. They will push you to your limits and then cut you up into little pieces to see what you’re like on the inside. My friend has promised to let me be there when they dissect your brain.”

“No. Not even you would do that, Valentine.”

“It’s my civic duty to add to knowledge that might help with interracial integration.”

“Bollocks.”

“Whatever. Besides... they pay well and they are delighted...” He starts to stroke Felix’s hair. “... to have this one.”

Felix snarls and growls low in his throat, struggling in his restraints and snapping at him. “Easy tiger.” I hate Valentine’s voice. It’s so... smug. “Anyway, much as I like to talk I’m wasting precious time. I don’t want to keep you from your adventure. I’ll come and visit but, by then I doubt you will be in any state to appreciate it.”

I’m very tempted to scream and curse but there’s no point and I am not going to give him the satisfaction. When the door slams we’re alone in the dark.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah. You?” He sounds so scared. I’m trying to keep my voice calm and level but I’m not doing very well: I’m scared too.

“Yeah. What do you think is going to happen? What are they are going to do to us?”

“It’s probably better not to think about that.”

“Do you think he’d really give us to a lab?”

“Not give, no; sold probably.”

He’s gone quiet but I can practically feel his fear. I wish this chain was longer. I can’t hold him but at least I can reach his hand. Ow; he’s got a hard grip.

“I wish Sar was here.” I’m not even pretending to be strong any more. One word and he’s going to be able to tell I’m crying so what’s the point?

“You know... it’s strange but... but I...”

“You wish Rover was here don’t you?”

“Only because he’s strong and could bust us out.” Yeah who’s he trying to kid?

“Of course.” The slight lessening of the tension didn’t last long. My stomach is churning and I... Oh... maybe... “Maybe if we change...”

“We can't, Glory. Do you think I haven’t tried? Maybe there was something in the drug they gave us but... we’re stuck.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

It feels like we’ve been in that van for a long time, hours maybe... or maybe not. I’ve lost all track of time. And then we stop. Aw... that light is bright. I can’t quite see who... Aw, they’re not being gentle; they almost took the skin off my wrists. Shit... I nearly broke my neck when they dragged me out of there.

That building looks scary. It looks exactly how I expected it to look... long and low... like a snake waiting to swallow us.

I don’t have much time to take in my surroundings when I am dragged through the door. Fuck... they’re splitting us up. Why are they doing that? I thought we were going to be together.

All the corridors look the same. I’m completely lost; not that I have any hope of getting the chance. “Aagh.” That hurt. They could have just pushed me through the door and not thrown me. I think I broke my arm... no, of course I didn’t break my arm. Ever the drama queen, Glory: who do you think is going to care in here?

The room is small and white and bare; probably a holding cell. There’s no furniture. Oh bugger; I’m so scared I’m almost peeing myself. I think I would have if I hadn’t gone in the other cell and not had anything to drink since. I’ll just squeeze into the corner. Cat likes having walls on both sides. Maybe if I close my eyes... oh that just makes the scared worse. What are they going to do to me? What are they going to do?

The longer I’m here the worse it gets. I can’t stop shaking... or crying. How brave am I not. It was easier to be brave when Felix was here. Felix... I wonder what’s happening to him. I bet he’s being braver than I am. Maybe not: he was pretty scared in that cage. Maybe he’s crying too. Maybe he’s even worse than me. That doesn’t help.

Calm down Glory. Take some deep breaths. Whatever you do, don’t be sick. Don't give them the satisfaction of...

The door opens and the same two weres... at least I think they’re the same two; it’s hard to tell... yank me to my feet and drag me out of the room. Do they have to be so rough? Don’t they care if they hurt me? No, of course not. I’m not a person anymore; I’m a lab rat. No wonder weres have such a bad reputation. I’ve got complacent since Rover.

Who’s that man in the white coat? He’s looking at me like... oh God I don’t like the way he’s looking at me. He nods at the two weres. “In there.”

This room is way scarier than the last one. It’s really big and lab like. There are lots of computers and test tubes with weird glass twisty tubes with coloured water in them. I don’t care about them; all I care about is the chair. It’s in the middle of the room and there are ... things all around it. It looks like it can turn into a kind of bed. Oh God; Oh God. I think that if they weren’t holding me I’d fall right now because my legs are not working properly. Maybe I’m going to pee myself after all.

Pull yourself together, Glory. That’s Vamp. He’s disgusted that I’m so scared. Never show weakness. I still can’t change, not that it would do me much good in here... there’s nowhere to run to. But I can still go down fighting. There is no way they are going to put me in that chair without a fight.

I try again to change. I try with all my might but all I can manage is ears and tail. Felix was right... they must have given us something that stops us. It wearing off but it’s too late. I might as well be banging my head against the wall, but what the hell I just keep banging.

Ah fuck... the weres have manifested claws and they’ve gone right through my skin in my arms. That hurts. That hurts a lot. I wasn't expecting that. Oh dear... bad idea to close my eyes. They’ve thrown me in the chair... and I mean thrown. It knocked the breath out of me. Get up Glory, get up... Bastard weres; they’re too strong. Goddamit, they’ve got metal straps; I can’t move my arms. But I can still move my legs.

Yeah, that made contact with something. By the sound of it, it hurt. Good. I hope I broke something. If only I could have got my claws into him. “Aagh.” Fuck... he had his claws out when he hit me. I think he’s ripped my ear off. I feel dizzy. Oh well... no chance of doing it again. Every bit of me is chained to the chair... well, not exactly chains... kind of metal bands that click into the chair.

I can't move, not at all. They’ve even got a band around my head. Oh hell I’m scared. I’m so scared. I’m screaming; but only on the inside. I won’t scream out loud. I won’t scream; I won’t cry; I won’t beg. Have some pride, Vamp demands. But, oh hell there is so much scary shit around. The word ‘experiment’ keeps going round and round in my head. They’re killing me already and they haven’t touched me yet. Oh shit, there are so many small sharp shiny things and none of my natures are liking them at all.

I wonder what they’re doing to Felix. Goddamit, why am I thinking of him at a time like this? I should be thinking of myself but hell he’s had a shit day... more than a day? Have I really only known him for a day? Huh... as if I know him at all.

Oh oh... big shit coming. A man in a white coat with a syringe in his hand is never good news. Close your eyes, Vamp commands, and then you won’t beg. Vamp won’t let me beg but Cat and Fey are screaming. Oh shit, oh fuck, oh... aw... That was not nice. What’s that noise? Huh, it’s my teeth grinding; they’re keeping the screams in.

Just keep your eyes closed and your mouth shut and... aw... why did they stick another needle in me and why aren’t they taking it out and why and... and... Oh God, I can't open my eyes. I can’t move... not anything ... What if... what if they are going to cut me up while I’m awake? What if they’re going to...? What if...? What... what...?