Fallen Valley Heights - 5. Chapter 5 - Epilogue

To you my dear,

I have all the things I want,

And ever will need,

For that I am truly grateful.

Diary,

Week 3

As you guys can see, things didn’t work out like they were supposed to. I guess I could see it coming, but I didn’t want it to end like it did. Why did that person have to ruin everything, what possessed him to do so? I know I haven’t told anyone who I think it might be, but that’s because he means a lot to me.

I have been at my Aunt Lucinda’s house for about two weeks now… When I first arrived here, I got so many phone calls. Some harassing, but others were great. I only told two people were I was, and they swore not to tell anyone else. I was thankful.

When I stepped out of my car that day, my aunt, she hugged me. And I, of course, held her and cried on her shoulder while she just whispered soft things in my ear. I love her to death, and I’m thankful to have her. If you’re at all wondering, she is the person who has always known my sexual preference. I didn’t have to tell her, either; she was actually the one who asked me. Of course I tried to lie, but she wouldn’t have any of it. So I just agreed and we have always been closer because of it.

I miss Thomas though; for the last week I’ve cried myself to sleep. I wish that I had said something to him that morning; I wish that I could have told him how much I love him. But I couldn’t, it’s sad, I know. IF I never see him again, I will still be thankful that I met him and we finally did what I have always wanted.

Love you all to pieces,

Rodney Kasson <3

--------

Fallen Valley Heights

Chapter 5

Epilogue

“Aunt Lucinda?” I called out to her; she hasn’t answered the first call.

After a few minutes of searching the house, I couldn’t find her. That’s very unlike her, she usually tells me if she is leaving or not… Hmm, I wonder why she didn’t this time. Shrugging, I flop down on the couch and start to channel surf. It’s amazing what you can do when you don’t have parents breathing down your neck to do things, I finally got what relaxing meant.

“Breaking news!” That jolted me right up, I was just drowsing off.

“We are standing in front of the Green house, where Jacob Green resided. Jacob Green hung himself early this morning. Police cannot tell us exactly why Jacob Green killed himself. Until further notice, all schools dealing with bullying will have conferences. His friends say that they didn’t know about the bullying, that they thought he was perfectly fine… Jacob Green didn’t talk a lot and he didn’t mention being bullied. Here is what his friends say.”

“Jacob was always friendly. He always had a nice thing to say. Jacob wouldn’t do this just because he was bullied; something else must have happened.”

“So said Jason, Jacob’s best friend,”

“Hi my name is Jennifer, another one of Jacob’s best friends. He has four, Jason, Thomas, Rodney, and myself. Jacob was always the one that got the group together, especially if we had a fight. Hah, now that I think about it, he was a pretty good friend, one that I’m surely going to miss.”

“Do you know why he did this, Jennifer?”

“I don’t know why, but it had to be something huge. He wouldn’t just do this because something he didn’t like happened. I know after Rodney left town, everyone that knew him or loved him, got crushed. IF you’re out there Rodney, I still do love you. Even after everything…”

As soon as she said that, tears ran down my face. If it wasn’t bad enough that one of my friends just killed himself, being told that you’re still loved by one of your friends killed it even more…

“Hi, my name is Thomas…”

Once I looked upon the TV again, my heart stopped. It was as if someone just struck me with a jack hammer in the chest. My breath caught just staring at him. It brought me to fully break out crying, oh god, I still love him. Thomas still looks amazingly handsome. Closing my eyes, I thought of the touches, smirks, winks, every second that I got to spend with him…

“So as you can see folks, not a lot can be said as to why Jacob Green killed himself. We are waiting for the autopsy reports to come back and give us the official cause of his death… Stay with us as we find out the truth. Back to you Carry,”

“Wow, that’s truly saddening. I hope they find out why Jacob Green did this… And whoever this Rodney person is, I hope you feel loved.”

After that I clicked off the TV. I couldn’t watch it anymore… I couldn’t do anything but sit there and cry… I don’t know how long I cried, but my Aunt Lucinda shook me from my sleep. With puffy red eyes, I looked up at her… The water works immediately started up. She scooped me up in her arms, and let me cry. I tried to explain to her, but between the mumbling, stuttering, and blubbering, I couldn’t get anything to come out.

I calmed down after a while and I explained to her everything that I had heard and watched on the TV, she just stared at me with an open mouth. It looked really hilarious to see, but I just couldn’t laugh. It was as if I couldn’t bring myself to be happy enough. Everything, in my life seemed to be falling apart, first me, and now Jacob. You have no idea what it feels like to be treated the way I have been, and then to come find out that your best friend killed himself. It hurt. God, it hurt. I will miss him truly.

I don’t know how it came to be, but I ended up in the shower with the water running down my back, while my head lay on the shower wall. I thought of everything, my family, friends, Thomas; remembering everything had me crying yet again. The third time today! Normally I’m not so emotional, usually I try to keep emotions far away, but today I just couldn’t hold back, I just couldn’t pretend that it would get better.

You know that saying, 'everything will get better in time'? Who actually believes that? Because I, for one, don’t. Hah, look at my track record and you tell me. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful that I still have my aunt. But that isn’t enough; I want more. I want things to be as they were… Where everything made sense again.

“Rodney? You okay?” called my Aunt from outside the bathroom door.

Sniffling up the tears, and clearing my throat, I croaked out, “Yea, Aunt Lucinda, I’ll be out soon.”

“All right, hun; if you need me, just come see me.”

With a huge sigh, I shut down the shower and stepped out. There I looked at myself in the mirror, same dirty blonde hair, same sexy body, except maybe a little bit more defined now. However, it was my eyes that had me standing there looking sadder. Instead of the perfect piercing blue, my eyes were a dark grey. I guess it reflected my mood.

♪ Ding Dong ♪

“Who could that be?” I asked.

“Rod, can you get that, please. I’m on the phone.”

“Sure.” I said with a roll of my eyes.

Opening the door, I couldn’t believe it. Thomas stood there, with his hands in his pockets, looking very cute and adorable. Looking at him now, I couldn’t move. It was as if something had me grounded.

“Rodney?”

Try as I might, I couldn’t speak. I did the fish, the opening and closing of the mouth. I must have looked like a damn idiot.

“Did you just get out of the shower?” Looking down at myself, I blushed. There I stood with only pants on. Something happened, my mind automatically switched over from admiring Thomas, to wanting him.

“Ok well, can I at least come in?” He looked hopeful.

“Sure.” Finally I got my voice.

“About damn time, I was beginning to think that you were like a monk,” he said as he walked in.

“Yea, so what brings you by?” I said bashfully, still thinking about him fucking me.

“Can’t I come by and check on you? Especially since you know… Jason…” He left it hanging in the air. The awkward silence filled the gap.

“Yea,” I spoke softly. Clearing my throat, I asked, “Do you want something to drink?”

“Sure…” Thomas said with a cheeky smirk.

Is that really all he’s here for, to see if I’m all right about the news with Jason? To be brutally honest, I’m not. How could I be? You know what I really wish? My wish is that he could see how much pain I’m in; how I can’t even sleep without thinking about him; that I miss everything my life was… until I had to vanish. It isn’t that my father wanted nothing to do with me, but when it came to my friends, none of them wanted to help me.

It hurt. And is still hurting, because even now, as I look upon him, with that honey glazed hair, those very beautiful blue eyes, and those lips that I just want to smash mine against, and his clothes, the Abercrombie & Fitch outfit, he really did pull it off…

With one touch of his hand, coming to land right on mine, the voices, they go quiet. It was as if I’m being lifted out of this dream, filled with worry, pain, and torture. When I looked up, I’m faced with those beautiful blue eyes. At that moment, I had never felt safer in my life. And as our faces come closer, and he starts to close his eyes, I take in the look of strength and confidence. With the lightest of touches, our lips meet. It’s shocking and thrilling at the same time. We part, but not for long. We go back, with more passion than the last time. The kiss… it lasted for a long time. I don’t think we came up for air until, oops, my aunt cleared her throat.

Thomas jumps apart from me, I smile before I open my eyes, to see him panicking and my aunt with her hands on her hips, with a smile that could be so devious.

“Aunt Lucinda!”

“Oh come now… I didn’t want to be cleaning something up that would eventually be sticky.”

I became so embarrassed; my ears went hot red, as did my face, “You don’t play fair.”

“Hah, darling', you have to understand. I was looking out for you. A Ms. Jennifer is here to see you.” At the mention of her name, I looked around the corner to see Jennifer. She looked good, really good.

“How did she find me? I didn’t tell her?”

“Does it really matter?”

“I guess not.”

Walking around the corner, I could see that she was uncertain. Maybe a little scared, I don’t know why, but I had a feeling she wanted to make everything good between us. God, she looks beautiful.

“Jen…” I quietly spoke; she turns towards me with something glinting in her eyes. I hope it isn’t tears.

“Jen?” I said once more. This time, I was close enough to her.

“Rod.” Was all she spoke before she hugged me hard! In the following moments, we were both sobbing onto each other’s shoulders. Damn I missed her. She is, after all, the closest friend that I had out of the four.

After a while, we separated and looked at each other. She, with running eye liner and her face all screwed up. Hah, I think that is the first time I have ever seen her with eye liner. “Are you wearing eye liner?”

“Well, I wanted to look good,” We both laughed, “Except now though, it's all ruined because of you.”

“Come on.” I took her by the hand and led her to the bathroom, there I handed her the eye liner and tissue. And left her alone…

“I’m glad you guys made up. I couldn’t take one more day with her crying and talking about you,” said Thomas… as he wrapped his arms around me?

“Are you holding me?”

“Why? Does it bother you?” he says as he attempts to un-wrap his arms. But I held them fast. I smiled as I leaned back and rested my head on his shoulder. How could this day get any better?

As if my wish had become granted, a knock on the door drew us to look upon it. With each of us sporting questioning glances, my aunt went to answer it. Upon opening the door, my mother is standing there, with a worried expression.

“Mom?” She smirks a little at first, until she sees Thomas and I standing together. Her expression falters. However, she doesn’t say anything. I am thankful.

“Well, I saw the news, and thought that I would come by and see how you were holding up. But seeing as Thomas is here, I don’t think I need to worry anymore. However, I did see this little thing at a store coming here and thought you could use it.” She holds up a tiny little bag. I go for it, but halt. I needed to check myself before I accept such a gift.

“You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

“Thank you.” I smile, before I hug her. She returns the hug.

“You’re welcome sweetie.”

“Are you going to open it?” Asked Jennifer

“Oh, hello Jennifer.”

“Hello, Mrs. Kasson.”

Reaching inside the bag, I felt multiple things. First a key, then a piece of paper, and a folded up something, which, at the time, I didn’t know was a letter.

“Well?”

Taking out the key first, I looked to my mother. She just shrugs. Something told me that she really didn’t go to a store. This was already bought and she was just told to hand it to me. Whatever! Next came, the piece of paper. The paper, it was a check. A very big check, I looked at all the zeros after the two. The check was for two million dollars! That made my eyes bulge a little. Putting down the check slowly, I reach for the last remaining folded paper.

On the outside it read, To Rodney. I looked up at my mother once more. She looked torn between two things. I didn’t know at the time it was because my father killed himself for what he had done.

I opened the letter slowly, with shaky hands. It read,

“Dear Rodney,

I know what I have done doesn’t change the fact that I turned my back on you. At the time I didn’t know what to do. I made a poor decision. I hope in time that you will forgive me. And I hope you don’t blame your mother for any of this, because, without her, I don’t know what I would have done. She kept me sane, Rodney. I love you and your mother very much. But, even with her helping me, I couldn’t get past what I had done to you. I am truly sorry.

Since you’re reading this, I know that your mother has given you the bag. In that bag, I have given a key to your brand new car. I’m not telling you what kind of car. It will be there sometime soon, I hope. The two million dollars, is from life insurance. Now think about it before you read anymore…

“Mom?” Looking upon her now, she was silently crying. I knew my answer way before I even asked the question.

“Is it true?” She didn’t answer with words, instead with a nod; I knew. Putting down the letter, I reached her before she collapsed. Carrying her to the couch, I laid her down and kissed her forehead before I kneeled once more and resumed reading.

“… Just don’t blame her, Rodney. She didn’t know what I did. Your mother is the strongest women I have ever seen or met. Remember that I loved you and her with everything that I had. I know that money doesn’t fix things, nor does buying you expensive gifts give me the right to once again call you my son. Or buying your love with them, because even without doing those things, I would still undoubtedly call you my son. So I hope that you can be there for your mother when she needs it.

With love,

Your Dad! I love you son!”

I put down the letter with shaky hands and swiped the tears that were dripping down my face. I turned to my right and hugged Thomas, I couldn’t let him go, my hands felt like ice. They were locked here. He didn’t say anything, of course, but he did whisper loving things into my ear. From behind me, Jennifer hugged me. I had two of my best friends here, and I couldn’t have asked for more.

******

Later that night Jennifer left, and not long after, so did my mother. I hugged them both with love. And before long it was just me, my aunt, and Thomas. I felt loved once more. I felt that I had everything that I could have ever asked for. My friends were back, I had Thomas, and I had my mother.

Everything seemed right for once. But somehow, I couldn’t get over what happened to Jacob. I turned towards Thomas. If you’re wondering at all, we are in my room. Thomas is spending the night for once.

“Yea, Rod?” he quietly whispered against my cheek. God, that sent sensations cruising over my skin. It created goose bumps.

“Why did Jacob… kill himself?”

“It wasn’t long after you left, that things became very hard for Jacob, Rod. With you there, I don’t know, maybe things seemed easier for him. We all loved him, but for him, he loved you more. I asked him a couple of times what was wrong, but he didn’t say anything other than 'Rodney'.”

“I shouldn’t have left, Thomas.”

“No, no… You can’t blame yourself, it might have been because of your leaving, but he did this to himself. Jason was spiraling out of control. He didn’t say anything to any of us for weeks. But he did leave this the day of his hanging.” Thomas reached down beside the bed and handed me a letter.

“Not another letter. I can’t...”

“You can do this; it was Jacob, after all.”

He handed me the letter and it read, “Hi, if you guys are reading this, then I have done it right. Don’t be sad for me… I have felt this way for a long time. It might have been because of Rodney’s leaving, but we can’t blame him. Rodney left because he didn’t have a choice. But what I haven’t gotten around to saying is that I loved Rodney for a long time. I don’t know why I didn’t tell you Rod, I think that was because I was a chicken shit. I didn’t have the guts, like Rod did.

Rodney, if you’re reading this then I’m sorry. I know that I should have told you long before now. But we can’t change what has happened. You know that you were my best friend for a long time. And over that period of time I have fallen for you. I’m glad that you have Thomas though, if he's there with you…”

I looked to Thomas as I read that part. It made me smirk, because even without him here, he still knew. I pecked Thomas’ lips before I read more.

“… Give him a kiss for me.

As for Jennifer and the others, I loved you all the same. We had some very good times. As I’m writing this, I am remembering all the times that I had to take your ass’s home. LOL, getting your asses in your beds and covered. Hah, wow. Those were wild times, weren’t they? Anyway, I know that I don’t deserve your sympathy, or your forgiveness. But I hope you guys do, over time, come to realize that I wouldn’t have been happy. And for that, I will leave you with this…

I LOVE ALL OF YOU THE SAME!!! BIG HEART <3

With that I folded up the letter and put it on the nightstand. I turned over once more and kissed Thomas on his lips, before I laid my head on his chest and fell asleep in the safety of my man’s arms.

Thank you all for reading this story. I told you that I had a surprise. J Well a couple of surprises actually. I hope I get reviews and comments. J Anyway, I might transfer Rodney over to one of my other stories. Might! I don’t know yet. But, again thank you for reading. Remijay <3