Attraction - 16. Chapter 16 – Admissions

We have all been dragged through our parents’ lives. That ordeal is generally very real for us. We pass through it kicking and screaming and recall it again at short notice through the rest of our years. Seeing Lydia and Pat, I came to realize there are so many things we imbibe from our parents that become our personality which we never credit them for at all. I could see the sturdiness of Kent's character come from Pat, while Lydia must have forced him to think and speak clearly or else she would be on top. Kent may come across as laid back; he was not a push over. In fact, when he decided to do something, it was more or less certain that it would happen. Of course all of this I knew about him already. A new light had been shown to my understanding that day and as we sat enjoying nice wine in a laid back piano bar later that day, I found myself contemplating over it. Kent, seeming very contented (I think Lydia had given a thumbs-up for me), was enjoying the music and the ambiance. Once in a while he would look at me with a merry gleam in his eyes and then look away again.

I was twirling the wine in my glass when Kent stopped it by holding my hand. I looked up.

“Babes, you’re alright aren’t you? It couldn’t have gone any better.”

“I feel l like I was in a tornado.”

Kent found it funny even though it wasn’t intentional.

“You know, Kent. I am trying to make up my mind about something.”

I did not say it in a combative tone but received rapt attention regardless.

“Earlier, I was pissed off at you because you didn’t let me decide when I wanted to meet your parents, or when I wanted them to meet my mother. You decided what was best for me and acted on it… I don’t know whether to be happy about it or not. You were obviously right in whatever you were thinking, but is it always going to be this way? You being in charge?”

Sensing the importance of our conversation Kent got up and dragged his chair to sit close to me.

“Jon, babes, I’m sorry if you felt I was forcing you. I was just excited about you meeting my parents. I thought if I gave you time to think about it you’d worry. I’m sorry if it made you feel that way. Please don’t think that I am trying to control you. I love you just the way you are. And if I get bossy you can get pissy and let me have it. I don’t ever want you to feel that I think of myself as being better than you. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

Kent had managed to bend lower and lower to maintain eye contact with me throughout his explanation. When he finished he was leaning on the table and looking up at me and at that instance it was clear how much he needed me to believe in him. To love him. I looked at his lips that were stretched and were looking absolutely delectable. He noticed my glance and licked them inadvertently. We met each other halfway and proceeded to put up, what I am sure, was quite a show. I dropped I don’t know a hundred dollars or something on the table as we rushed out of the place.

That night our lovemaking had a different edge to it. In my mind, a huge barrier had been crossed in our relationship. We had entered a territory where we exercised our rights on one another. Although I had gone off on Kent for deciding things for me, more often than not I wanted him to do that. And in my own anal way, I too made things go the way I wanted them to, petty or important. We were beyond the point of being tentative with each other. There was an authority and ownership to the demands we put on each other. In bed that night, I decided to act on one of my demands that he’d been meeting.

Kent liked it when I took charge and sat on top of him, grinding, licking, moving up and down his body at leisure, spending time on whichever one of his body parts I wanted to attend to. Post my usual routine that night, which as usual left him moaning in agonizing pleasure, I changed things up. I scooted up to sit on top of his red hot member and started pressing it between the cheeks of my ass. Kent’s eyes that had been closed just then, opened in surprise. I took the lube from the stand and started applying it to him and myself.

“Baby, are you sure?”

“About this? No. About you? Yes.”

I was moving slowly, uncertain if this moment of bravery wasn't ill-advised. Kent wasn’t going to be easy to accommodate. It was one of the curses of having a lover with perfectly proportionate body. He lay there still, afraid to move the wrong way, his arousal completely at my mercy to do what I wanted with it. I knew at this point he was more concerned about me than how he got off. It was that love that gave me the courage to take the plunge, or in this case, let myself be plunged into.

Unfortunately, it was not an ideal ride. I was in a lot of pain and Kent had to take charge by rolling me over to be on my back. I refused to let him get out of me and held on to him as if to dear life. Kent licked my tears repeating again and again, how much he loved me and how happy he would remain even if he never got to be inside me in all of his life. Instead of giving me the excuse to give up, his words gave me the courage to carry on and endure more. God! Did all the men I had done undergo this much pain? I guess my not being as big must have helped.

“How does it feel to you?” I asked when there was a brief respite from the tearing sensation.

“Amazing! You feel amazing baby.”

“You aren’t even all the way in yet.”

“I know, this is enough for me.” My legs were on his shoulder and he was lying on top of me.

“Use some more lube and slide in. Slowly.”

“Are you sure?”

“Just fucking do it.”

And he did. How could I have doubted Kent’s ability to do the right thing? He was gentle, sweet, almost apologetic and at the same time hot as a lava inside me. When he started moving properly, I could not help my moans. He was slow, but the friction was electrifying. I was completely open to him now. The way he had been to me so many times. In between sounds of pleasure he kept repeating I-love-you-s. When he was spent, he made sure to finish me off, clean-up both of us properly, and then spoon me from behind to help me sleep the way I liked best.

After I had started dozing, I heard his concerned voice, “Are you alright babes?”

I moaned my “Mhmm”.

He held me tighter and kissed the back of my neck. “I love you” he whispered.

“Mhmm.”

A faint voice which I only barely managed to catch, spoke into the night, “I know you love me too.”