Cowboy Summer - 6. They Still Shoot Horses Don't They

Watching events from the back of the chutes gave you a better view of some things and brought the viewer closer to a lot of the details of rodeo that tourists tended not to like. Rodeo clowns hung on the sides of the ring in their mad get ups while men with much to prove and big money riding in the stakes rode bucking bronco’s like their lives depended on it. In some ways they did. Horses and bulls in closed chutes with riders getting settled on them, the scent of flesh and testosterone, roasted meats, beer and dust and sweat.

Rhydian kept reaching up to touch the hat Sam had bought for him. He felt like he belonged, here in this dusty town thousands of miles away from anyone else he knew. He was half a world away from his family who he had missed for every second that he was on the plane and then the bus which had taken him out to the ranch. Now he missed no one except Shura. Seeing the other cowboys with their horses made him jealous. Rhydian had the irrational urge to show everyone else the bond he had developed with the dapple grey horse that was, in his mind at least, the most beautiful creature to have lived.

There were men who loved their horses, lavished them with affection, Men who spoke of their steeds with pride but not love or adoration, those who viewed them as a method to earn a living. Then there were men, but only a very few, who swore and shouted and hit their beasts when they didn’t get their way, and Rhydian felt his chest tighten every time a horse made a noise of hate or pain or fear. They were sitting on a staked up log near the chutes when a man came by pulling his horse and shouting.

The horse was a fifteen hand skewbald and looked very panicked and very determined that he wasn’t going in the ring. The man was huffing and swearing, digging in his heels and lashing at the horse with a crop held in his other hand. Beside him, Rhydian felt Caleb stiffen.

“Leave over dude!” Jase called out, “Give that poor beast a rest.”

“Don’t you fucking tell me what to do!” The man shouted back without even looking. He slapped the horse’s shoulder again, really hard. Caleb flinched. “Git on, you stupid fucker!”

“Stop it.” Sam was on his feet, but he hadn’t spoken. Caleb’s voice was tight and hard and he looked tense like a coiled spring. “Don’t.”

“Caleb?” Rhydian reached out to touch his friend’s arm and felt the crackling tension jump the gap like static. He whipped his hand back to his lap. Caleb looked half like he was about to cry, and half like he was in pain as though being beaten. Just like the horse was.

“Don’t hit that horse. You’re just goin’ to have ta call this evening a loss, bud.” Sam’s thick Texan tone was jovial and merry, but there was a hard edged undercurrent. Only someone really thick was going to ignore the implied threat in his words. Apparently the rough man was thick enough or stubborn enough, because he raised the crop again.

Sam’s fist caught him on the jaw and sent him spinning and falling. The horse, suddenly released, simply stood on the dusty earth and hung its head, utterly defeated. The evil man’s attempt to stand was thwarted by the presence behind him of an older man, huge like a bear, with long grey hair and neatly trimmed beard and moustache.

“You’re not taking that horse away from here.”

“Like fuck I’m not. You can’t steal a man’s horse.” When the man scrambled to his feet, he had to look up at the grey haired bear.

“It’s not stealing. I am buying him from you.” The big man offered a roll of notes in one hand. The abrasive and abusive cowboy seemed to consider the money, then took it. “Now get the fuck out of here. Don’t you dare blacken the land of my rodeo again.” The big man walked very slowly over to the horse, who didn’t even flinch as his hand landed ever-so-softly on his neck. “There boy… That was good work Texan.”

“Sammy… you’re still not using my name huh?” Sam was grinning as he shook the big man’s hand, “Rhyder? This is Sammy, Caleb’s great-uncle. This is his rodeo.”

Rhydian nodded to the big man, who touched his hat in response.

“Sam? Is Caleb...?” Rhydian didn’t want to finish his sentence, because Caleb still looked like a caged animal and flinched when he’d spoken.

“Shit.” Sam dashed back from where he stood with Sammy and the horse to his lover. Sam got between Caleb’s knees, wrapped his arms around the man’s torso and pulled him bodily against him. “It’s OK babe, it’s over.”

“Is he OK?” Rhydian asked quietly. Sam and Caleb clung to each other like the rest of the universe had melted away and suddenly he felt very small and young and alone. So that was what Caleb had been talking about… and the light in Sam’s eyes when he spoke about the man he loved all made sense to Rhydian as he sat there. Yes, Sam was beautiful, gorgeous and when he spoke to Rhydian it seemed to the boy like he was the only thing that mattered: but he loved Caleb more than anyone could put into words, lest of all Rhydian.

When Jase’s warm strong arm came around his shoulders, Rhydian relaxed back into the touch.

“Caleb’s very good with horses. He feels their pain quiet deeply.” Jase let him go so that he could jump down from the pole, then turned and offered a hand to Rhydian, “Come on Rhyder.”

Sammy was talking to the battered skewbald, pressing his hand firmly over the horse’s muscles as he removed the tack with care.

“So you’re Caleb’s new project huh?” He asked as Rhydian approached, even though he never took his eyes off the horse, “He fixes up people too.” He stroked down the horse’s front leg and the steed shivered, “Hmm… well then, you’re not well. C’mere Rhyder.”

Rhydian felt a bit like a puppet and a child as Sammy positioned him beside the horse. He put one hand flat on the horse’s back on the right of the spine where the saddle would normally go, then instructed him to hold his other arm out in front of him with a fist.

“Keep that up OK?”

“Er…” Rhydian watched as Sammy ran his hand over the skewbald’s shoulder, then pressed down on his fist with two fingers. Sammy was strong, but Rhydian was able to keep his hand level with shoulder easily.

“Now here.” Sammy rubbed over the leg muscles which had shivered when he’d touched them before, then pressed on Rhydian’s fist just as he had before. This time Rhydian was horrified to find his arm sagging like he was made of wet spaghetti.

“What the heck?”

“That leg’ll need rest,” Jase said gruffly, “Poor fella.”

“H-how…?” Rhydian was frowning, totally at a loss to explain what had happened.

“Power lines Rhyder,” Sammy said, still stroking the skewbald horse, “You’re the conduit for the horse. When he feels pain or hurt, you can’t keep your arm up at all. Good eh?”

“Weird. Cool.” Rhydian stepped back from the horse and found himself enveloped in Jase’s arms. He tried to look over his shoulder but found his hat in the way. Jase folded the felt brim back at the side and then there was warm skin and stubble moving against his neck. He melted under the feeling.

“How much did you pay for him Sammy?” Caleb was standing with his back to Sam’s chest, the big Texan still had one arm around his waist, like they couldn’t bear to be apart.

“Enough to get that asshole to walk away. He’ll make a good pleasure horse one of these days I expect. She has great conformation.” Sammy took up the horse’s reins in a gentle hand and began to steer him softly away from the arena, “See you boys after the steer roping then.”

“You alright there bud?” Jase asked over the top of Rhydian’s hat.

“I’m alright. Just a bad reaction. You OK there Rhyder?”

Rhydian grinned in a thousand watt smirk.

“I’m good.”

The steer roping was more like watching an old Western film to Rhydian. Now that Jase was safe and off the sand, the boy didn’t feel quite so panicky when the cowboys flew out of the gate after the loose steer, even though he was watching from much closer this time. Jase hadn’t moved from having his arms around his waist, and Rhydian could feel the work rough fingers playing slightly up and down his sides, creeping up the hem of his borrowed check shirt. Rhydian decided that he didn’t mind at all.

“Is this what you were teaching me to do Caleb?” Rhydian asked as the roper in the arena threw his lasso neatly over the steer’s horns. Somehow with the slack rope he twisted the animal round and off its feet, then leapt from the galloping horse and as the horse stopped, the rope stayed taught and the cowboy tied up the feet real quick before the klaxon went at the end of his time.

“You might need a few more summers until you can do it all Rhyder, “Caleb smiled as he spoke, “But your lasso technique will make you handy when we take you to round up the sheep next week.”

“Uh oh.” Sam was grinning, “Looks like we really are gonna make you into a cowboy bud.”

They leant on the rails around the back part of the arena to watch the last lot of roping runs. Rhydian relaxed into his position at Jase’s side, cheered and whooped when the riders caught their steers and sucked in his cheeks when a few fouled their ropes. Jase had been right about the steer roping having some good riders, and men around them discussed the out of towners and their horses and techniques. Rhydian found himself missing Shura more and more as the evening went on. Men with horses made him jealous, and he could imagine the pair of them out in the arena, being on the receiving end of all that love and applause.

Rhydian knew that it was going wrong before it happened. Caleb sat up suddenly bolt upright, staring at the sand as the horse screamed and fell. The horse had broken out of the loose rope barrier before the steer had reached the end of the break tether. The steer pulled left, the horse panicked, his rider pulled back on the reins. There was a trip, the sliding of three hooves, and breaking of bone like the sound of a gunshot and the wail of the horse as he and rider went down. The arena was a flurry of action. An outrider and the rodeo clowns went after the steer, driving him back down towards the far end and into another long chute. Friends of the fallen steer roper dashed to his side and Sam released Caleb’s waist as the young man stepped forwards and vault the rail without looking back.

“What’s going on?” Rhydian felt his heart going a hundred miles an hour.

“Broken leg.” Sam put a hand out to stop Rhydian from going forwards, “You don’t wanna see Rhyder.”

“But…” Rhydian felt all the love and attachment he had for Shura go suddenly weirdly numb, as though everything in his head was suddenly focused on this horse, this lovely bay that he didn’t even know, who was in pain and lying on the ground while his rider knelt next to his head, sobbing. He pushed forwards, drawn to the scene. He wanted to say something, do something, lavish love and affection and understanding on this horse until the pain was gone. Caleb was bent over the animal, talking softly to the rider. The horse groaned.

Rhydian caught a snippet of the conversation.

“My best roping horse… it would take years for him…”

“You have to do what your money and his constitution allows.”

“He won’t make it. He hates the stable.”

Something in Rhydian’s guy twisted.

“Rhyder!” Sam’s hand was hot on his shoulder, pulling him back. “Don’t.”

Sammy appeared with a blanket, and stood with it so that Rhydian could no longer see the horse’s face. Caleb put his arm around the cowboy who sobbed at the neck of his favourite horse. Then there was gunshot.

Rhyder shouted something wordless, feeling like the noise of the bullet tore right through him, and spun, only to be enfolded in Sam’s warm arms. He was sobbing uncontrollably, hiccupping sobs that coursed through his body and made him feel hurt and alone, lost and sore. Very gently another set of arms wrapped around him, and Rhydian was faintly aware of the change of scents and textures as he was handed off to Jase.

*

Later, after the tearful goodnight with Jase and the getting back into the truck, Caleb had explained in a hollow voice what had happened to the still numb and whimpering boy. Any injury on a horse could be fatal, and a trip that broke a bone would lay up a horse in stable rest for months, often the best part of a year. Full recovery time could take anything up to 3 years, with no guarantees that the horse would ever be ride-able again, let alone the way he used to be before the accident. Surgery and recovery could cost thousands.

Some horses simply couldn’t take the stress, the pain, and the combined frustration of feeling ill and trapped indoors. Most rodeo cowboys didn’t have the time, money, energy, space, or security to look after a horse in recuperation that long. It was every owner’s choice to make, of what to do. A wealthier owner may have chosen to try and fix the horse. Or perhaps if the bay had been more tolerant of time in the stable, he could have been saved. But the rider had not the money to spend and the horse did not have the mental capacity to cope. The decision was made, and the horse was shot.

The death of a horse was a terrible way to end a rodeo.

When they got back Sam could tell that Rhydian was still very shaken by what had happened. He started in the direction of the stables when he tumbled from the pick-up’s cab, and Caleb had to re-direct him with touches to the shoulders and back. Rhydian trudged up the stairs towards his room like a man defeated, with the promise that he would see Shura first thing in the morning. The boy moved like an automaton, and Sam’s instinct was simply to hug him hard until he became normal again. Calebs hand stopped him.

“Let him be, babe.”

“He just looks so fucking lost Cay. You think anyone ever gave him affection back home?”

“Sam…”

“Kid needs a hug.” Sam said, wrapping an arm around his lover.

“And if that was all he needed, I’d bring him right back here now and let you. Rhydian doesn’t know what he needs.”

Sam smiled at his boyfriend. He wasn’t dumb, but knowing Caleb always mad Sam feel less smart than he was.

“Well it’s either got four legs and a tail or it wears a Stetson and broad smile.” Sam referenced Shura and Jase in turn, “Maybe both.”

“A horse in a Stetson? Oh babe…” Caleb kissed his boyfriend on the mouth as he chuckled, “You do say the weirdest things.”