Cowboy Summer - 21. The Last Day On Earth

Rhyder Markey stared at the plane ticket in his hand, and wondered if his life would be simpler if he just ripped it apart now. His flight was in eight hours, and it was going to take two and a half to drive to the airport and another hour or so to check in and get on the actual plane. Which left him four hours. He hadn’t packed, he hadn’t said goodbye, and there was no way four hours was enough. No number of hours would be enough. He switched to staring at the bed. He’d made that up neat at least, stripped the sheets and folded the blankets on the narrow mattress he and Bryce had spent a few nights on. It was the one thing he’d change, because a double bed would’ve been great. The rest of his gear was all over his room: jeans, Stetson, shirts and presents, a pair of trainers which he hadn’t worn since he’d got here. Other stuff he owned was all over the house, in the yard, things he’d bought over the last few days with a little portion of his winnings. He’d got a second pair of boots, black with tan leather inserts, another belt for his show buckle. He’d bought a tooled neck strap for Shura and a couple of new saddle rugs, one yellow with white trim and one Aztec check.

Now he stared at the empty kit bag he’d put on the plane and wondered what the hell he was going to do. He didn’t have any time to pack. He wanted to see Sam and Caleb, talk to Jase. He wanted to ride Shura out to the Lake and swim and never leave ever again. He wanted to hold Bryce in his arms and never ever let him go ever again. And he had four hours. And it was not enough. There was a knock on the wood of the door, and Moreta handed him a cup of tea. The mug, a bit tannin-stained and slightly chipped on one corner of the handle bore the legend ‘Me or the Horse.’

“What are you standing there for Rhyder?” Moreta smiled at him, but her eyes were worried, “Bet you’re scared to death, aren’t you?”

“There’s no more time is there?” Rhydian let the ticket fall onto the bed, “I have to leave and I don’t want to go.”

Moreta put an arm around his shoulders and hugged him gently. Rhydian could feel that if he let himself, he was going to dissolve into tears.

“You’re not going forever Rhyder. You’ll be back in a week. Don’t pack everything, just the stuff you need to take back with you. I’ll pack, you go see the guys, go be with Shura.”

“But what if they try and keep me there?”

“Rhyder,” Moreta took the bag from his hands, “You’re the strongest eighteen year old cowboy I ever met, and I include my son in that list. No one is going to stop you from doing what you know is best.”

Rhydian smiled at the floor.

“Now go on and get busy. Shura’s waiting for ya.”

Rhydian drank his tea, handed back the mug and went clattering down the stairs.

Bryce was sitting on Indi out front of the house. Sam was astride Ikara and Jase sat on Sugar, looking happy. Caleb was mounted up on Boy-Latte, and Shura was standing there, rider-less, all tacked up and waiting for him. Rhyder stuck his hat on his head and jammed his thumbs in his belt, his winner’s buckle shining on his hip, and grinned.

“There he is!” Sam whooped, “There’s our Rhyder!”

Shura neighed and tossed his head. He was ready for the off. Ready for Rhyder to jump on him and lean into the saddle, push with his knees and think ‘go!’

“C’mon cowboy!” Jase hollered, “Show us all what you’re made of!”

Caleb clicked his tongue and smiled, and even that had words in it Rhydian knew meant pride.

“Let’s go Rhy!” Bryce was shining like he was the sun itself, “I bet our breakfast you would win.”

“Where’re we goin’ boys?” Rhydian asked, still standing on the back step.

“Bee’s!” They chorused.

“Oh, well then,” Rhydian looked at the four men who he loved, each in their own special way, and the horse he adored, “That sounds like a plan.”

It was a classic cowboy move, something they’d practiced in the sand school, where Shura’s patience and Rhydian’s butt had both taken a beating. Rhydian took a few big strides, grabbed the reins and the saddle horn, swung his foot into the stirrup, had the horse turning before he’d even gotten the other leg over and by the time he was settled in the saddle Shura was already pounding his hooves. With a cry of delight, Rhydian cantered his horse across the fields and towards the distant destination. A chorus of swearing, laughing and good natured grumbling followed them as the others got their horses moving. He and Shura, they just flew.

*

Pancakes with maple syrup and bacon, eggs with sausage, sweet tea, cream soda, and milk shakes in a stupidly large variety of colours. Jase said it was like being back at high school, the long breakfast’s they used to go for in senior year when they had a free period in the morning. It was almost better than his birthday, because though he liked Kenny and Johnny and the others, it was just the five of them. Just the people who were the most important: just the ones he would miss so much it would feel like his heart was breaking. Jase didn’t seem to mind being the fifth wheel, teasing Bryce gently when he blushed and bit his lower lip. Rhydian hugged his boyfriend to his side and shared his milkshake, racing each other to the bottom of the glass with their straws.

They talked about stupid stuff, making light of what could be a sombre mood. Sam waxed lyrical about rodeo, about the time he spent travelling around the rodeo circuit before he ‘grew up and settled down.’ Caleb was quick to tell him he’s not grown up at all. It’s easy to forget that soon enough, he will have to leave. Soon enough, Sam or Caleb will be driving him towards San Francisco and he’ll get on a plane and leave. But it’s not forever.

“Babe?” Bryce touched his arm gently, fingers stroking the skin on the inside of his elbow, “You alright?”

“Can we go?”

“Sure thing.”

Outside in the dusty lot, Rhyder is enveloped in a bear like vice-grip hug from Jase. He and Sugar will ride the other way towards home, and Rhydian won’t see him again. Jase shakes him by the back of the neck and grins.

“Be good pretty boy.”

“You know I will.” Rhydian knuckled his shoulder. His punch is a lot harder now too, another sign of four weeks of hard work, “You be your usual self, kay?. Try not to break anymore hearts before I get back.”

“Don’t you worry about a thing Rhyder. You’ll be back in no time. We won’t even know you were gone.” His laugh, and the second hug, shows he was joking, “I mean it. You’d better be coming back.”

“I will.”

“Need my bulldogging buddy. Big money to be made at Winter State you know.”

“Like I won’t beat ya anyways.”

Jase hugged him a third time, and then they were mounted up, waving each other off. Sam and Caleb let them pull ahead; walking gently along the way back home, so Rhyder and Bryce could ride side by side with their stirrups clashing.

“I don’t want to leave.”

“It’s not for a while babe,” Bryce smiled and reached across to grab his free hand. Rhydian switched rein-hand quickly, “We’ve got time.”

“In the truck. Doesn’t count.” Rhydian exhaled sharply. It was easy to be depressed about leaving now they were on the way home.

“Well then why don’t you think about last night?” Bryce’s finger’s trailed up his bare skin, and Rhydian shivered. They’d lain on a blanket under the stars and listened to the night train, wrapped up in each other all night long. Rhydian closed his eyes to remember Bryce on top of him, his hard bull rider’s body slamming into his own, in counterpoint to kisses soft as rain. Bryce took his hand and kissed his knuckles, “I want you to remember that when you’re back in England and missing me. Not some quickie snuck away somewhere.” Rhydian chuckled, “We can have all the quickies you want we you get back.”

Rhydian grinned.

“You gotta bet when I get back I’m gonna kidnap you and have you to myself for like a whole week.”

“As long as you get me back in time for school.” Bryce squeezed Indi further and drew away from him. Shura tossed his head.

“You sure you wanna start this?” Rhydian squeezed with his knees, and Shura tensed underneath him. “You know we’re faster than you.”

“I reckon Indi can give you a good run for your money!”

They raced all the way back to the ranch.

*

They were alone in the stable. Bryce had gone to turn out Indi into the paddock, and he was standing in the loose box with Shura. The big dapple horse put his long face against Rhydian’s front, and the young man threaded his fingers into the thick mane. He had no idea how long they stood together, but it was long enough for Caleb and Sam to arrive back and turn out their own horses, long enough for his chest to feel warm with the heat of Shura’s body. Rhydian hated to leave the horse, almost more than leaving in general. He could feel his heartbeat with Shura’s pulse, and he was crying.

Neither of them decided to leave, but Rhydian walked with his hand looped under Shura’s throat to stay with his fingers in his mane, and they trod softly to the paddock together. Shutting the gate behind him was the most painful thing he’d ever done. The horse knew, and he whinnied high and sharp, and Rhydian felt like his heart was snapping in half.

Moreta had packed for him, his kit bag and a carry on sac of snacks, his passport, ticket, and the sheaf of papers to hand in at the American embassy in London. He didn’t need to, but it would make his visa application easier if he started it while he was over there. And then it was time to say goodbye again.

He hugged Moreta and Pal, thanked them until he was told to stop being silly and they’d see him back in a week. His second pair of boots waited for him by the doorway, ready for him to come back.

Sam drove, with Caleb in the front seat. There was country on the radio and it was a million times better than the taxi ride he’d taken out to Iron Hill Lake by himself. He hadn’t known what he was walking into, hadn’t wanted to be there, and had never wanted to come on this stupid ranch holiday anyway. And now, everything had changed.

He snuggled with Bryce in the backseat. They didn’t really talk, just mentioned things that came past the window, kissed often, refused to let each other go. Rhydian wanted to commit it all to memory; the way Bryce’s hair smelt of apples, the way he still tasted like ice cream and maple syrup. He wanted to record the soft press of his lips, the heat of his body, and the firm grip of his fingers. Nothing could be more important than the way his heart beat against Rhydian’s chest, the timbre of his gentle whispering, and singing in a sigh to the music on the radio. The green of his eyes was like some sort of strange fire, the curve of his lips was perfect. He knew he was going to have to hold onto it all in his head. He had to remember what he was coming back for.

Mountains and fields gave way to cities and towns along the interstate, and Sam was taking the turning marked for the airport and Rhydian kissed his boyfriend so hard he thought he might die of it. They parked the truck, and walked with Rhydian to check in.

He got his boarding pass, handed over his measly luggage, stood there feeling sick to his stomach. And then it was time to stand in line for security checks.

“You’ll be back in a week,” Sam hugged him around the shoulders, knocking their hats together, “It’ll fly by, you’ll see.”

“Sam…”

“Hey,” The Texan grinned in his trademark manner, “Think of it as your last ever opportunity to sleep in late.”

“Sam!”

“Go on Rhyder.”

“Cay…” There was so much to say, and no time or words to express it all anything close to adequately. Without Caleb, he would have been any other guest, he would have sat on Shura and let the horse ride around, not really done anything much. Without Caleb, he wouldn’t have a future, wouldn’t be able to talk to his horse, and wouldn’t be a good rider. Without Caleb, he wouldn’t be a man.

“Say nothing. Everything sounds like goodbye and it’s not,” Caleb gripped his shoulder hard, “You have responsibilities now. Two horses in your name, college, and someone’s gotta teach you to drive properly. Qucker you go, quicker you can come back.”

“I’m sorry about…” Rhyder tried to find the words he needed, “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

Caleb smiled, clicked his tongue and shook his shoulder before stepping back, and Rhydian could tell he was proud. Bryce wrapped him up in strong arms and they kissed until Rhydian was dizzy from the lack of oxygen.

“Call me as soon as you land.”

“Yes babe.”

“And skype.”

“Yes babe.”

“I love you.” Bryce kissed him again, and Rhyder didn’t ever want to let go.

“I love you too. One week,” A kiss, “And I’m coming home.”

“Go Rhy,” Caleb pushed his shoulder, “You have to get through security.”

“I love you all.” Rhydian joined the line for security, put his little carryon bag on the belt, took off his hat, boots and belt and stepped through the metal detector. When he turned back to look, they were gone.

It might have all been some amazing dream, except the guy who handed him his stuff back congratulated him on his win having read the back of his belt buckle, and everyone stared for the way he looked, walking through a city centre airport in his Stetson and worn leather boots. He didn’t want to, but he got on the plane.

He explored the bag in his lap while people filed into their seats. Jerky, sweets, soda, bread roll with ham and cheese, his papers, a book he hadn’t even started. At the bottom was something that felt weird, and Rhydian pulled out the rope.

It was the thin cord he had knotted together one afternoon under Caleb and Bryce’s tutelage to make his own head collar for Shura, and they’d used it a few times. It was light weight and small, but unlike the loop rope it could be used to tie the horse up if needed. Rhydian held the tangle of cord against his face. It smelt like his horse.

Regardless of what his mother was going to say, regardless of what his passport said, Rhydian was not going home. Home was where the horse was.