Geeks - 5. Hangover

CHAPTER FIVE: HANGOVER

Mikeal didn't know what a hangover felt like, but he suspected he might have one. The light seemed too bright and cruel against his fragile eyes, sounds were too loud against ears that felt raw and vulnerable and his stomach wasn't quite where it wanted to be. His mouth tasted nasty too. He rolled over and buried his face in a pillow. As an afterthought, he spread his limbs across the bed, finding nothing but warm sheets. So Adam was up, but probably hadn't been for long.

"Here," a warm voice near his ear said. Mikeal lifted his head and Adam gave him a bottle of Gatorade. "I tried my best to keep you hydrated last night, but you drank quite a bit."

Mikeal sat up gingerly and took the Gatorade, sipping it cautiously. That seemed to be okay and he drank a little more deeply.

"How do you feel?" Adam asked.

"I'll live," Mikeal decided. "I don't feel great, but I don't feel terrible either."

"Are you going to be okay if I go to lunch with Julie?"

"Without me?"

"I wasn't sure if you would feel like sushi."

Mikeal considered that. Normally he liked sushi, but just the mention of it this morning had his stomach doing an uneasy roll. "Maybe not."

"I brought you some toast." Adam nodded to the bedside table. "It'll help settle your stomach a little."

"You sound like you speak from experience," Mikeal said.

"Unfortunately." Adam's hand touched him gently, rubbing his back. Mikeal was grateful that he didn't rub the back of his neck like he sometimes did; he had a little bit of a headache there. "I wish I had caught you before you drank that vodka. I was planning on you only getting a little tipsy, not full on drunk."

"It was my choice," Mikeal said philosophically. "I didn't have to drink it."

"Yeah, but you've never drank before, have you?"

Mikeal shook his head.

"Vodka is pretty strong and you drank it straight," Adam said. "And you probably didn't know what it was, or how it would get to you."

"Well, I'm okay," Mikeal said, getting out of bed. He pulled his jeans up from the floor and slid his legs in. "So you and Julie go to lunch and I'll be up here when you get back."

"Alright, if you're sure you feel okay."

"I'm fine."

Adam kissed him on the cheek, and bounded out of the room.

Mikeal sat on the edge of the bed for a while, waiting for the room to settle down. He could remember the room spinning from last night and it still seemed a little unsteady, enough to disorient him. He eventually shuffled into the bathroom. A shower seemed like more trouble than he could handle right now, so he drew a bath instead, and ate the cold toast while the tub filled up. He soaked in the bath for a few minutes before quickly scrubbing his skin and rinsing his hair. He was a little annoyed by the conversation that morning. Yes, he had never drank before and it was sweet that Adam was looking out for him, but he didn't appreciate being treated like a child. It wasn't like Adam didn't drink. And he wasn't that hungover. He already felt a little better.

And while he didn't remember much about last night, he did remember the ridiculous confession he had made before he fell asleep. He sighed and heaved himself up out of the water, feeling another wave of lightheadedness float over him, but it was gone quickly. He dried himself off and pulled on his pants and shirt, then flopped back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

He had fallen and fallen hard, just like he was afraid he was going to. He had taken Julie's advice to just go with it and now he finally knew how he felt. But Adam, sneaky bastard that he was, had wormed his way right there into his heart and was coiled around it like a boa constrictor. And God, it scared him and exhilarated him for someone else to have that much control over him and the ocean of his feelings.

He just wished he knew where Adam stood.

Julie, Adam and a couple other people Mikeal still couldn't remember the names of came back shortly after and he winced a little at the flood of noise, but went ahead and got ready.

Adam was going to dress up as the sailing chick again and had enlisted Mikeal to dress up as another character, because as Julie had explained with her usual lack of tact, "You're the only person in the world that has a tux at the ready."

Adam had tried to briefly explain the characters to him but Mikeal remained clueless as to how a guy in a tuxedo and a mask who wandered around throwing rose shaped darts fit in with a bunch of girls dressed as skanky sailors. Well, a bunch of girls and one hot guy masquerading as a girl. He went anyway, putting the final touches on and watching Adam don the long green wig. It brought Mikeal back to the first time they met, and how sexy Adam had looked out by the hotel pool, all of the costume gone except for the hair. Julie was helping Adam with the wig now, brushing it out with a small metal brush while Adam put on a little bit of makeup. It was strange, Mikeal thought, seeing Adam like this again. It was like seeing a girl with a beautiful face transposed over his boyfriend. Now that he was used to Adam's regular face, seeing it there, underneath the powder and artificial hair, didn't appeal to him at all.

Soon, more of Adam's friends were piling into the room and one of them, who had long blond hair in two odd looking pigtails, kept giggling and trying to climb into Mikeal's lap. Julie had gone off and abandoned him. Adam playfully pulled the pigtailed girl away from Mikeal and a mock cat-fight ensued. Adam bent down to kiss Mikeal right before they left the hotel room and a lot of high pitched squealing followed.

"Keep close to me, okay?" Adam said, taking Mikeal's gloved hand in his. "Technically, you're supposed to be the love interest of Sailor Moon. She's the one that Karen is dressed up as, that kept hopping in your lap. But Sailor Pluto is also full of unrequited attraction for you too. So we'll just be a little unorthodox. People will love it."

Mikeal had no clue what he was talking about and he wasn't sure if people loved it or not, but they did love to take his picture. Mostly with Karen, several times as a part of the group. He even gave Karen a close-mouthed, chaste kiss when one of the photographers begged for it. He glanced at Adam afterwards, wondering if he would get jealous, but he couldn't really read his expression underneath the hair and makeup. Later on, after most of the photographs had been taken and the crowd had drifted, Mikeal and Adam walked hand in hand through the convention center, exploring anything that seemed interesting. They found Julie, dressed as some strange character with enormous pink pigtails overseeing a table and stopped to talk to her for a while before wandering on. Eventually they took a break near a fountain and Adam scratched at the back of his head. "I don't think I'm going to do this costume anymore," he said. "I'm retiring it once this con is over."

"Why?" Mikeal asked, eating some ice cream they had picked up a few minutes earlier. "The wig?"

"Partially yeah. It's heavy and it itches and it's a bitch to take care of and transport. And the costume is so uncomfortable. I have to corset up just to get the damn thing on. It's more trouble than it's worth. And I really hate dressing up as girl characters."

"I thought you were a girl when I first saw you. You were hot," Mikeal said. "But your voice gave it away."

"Yeah." Adam smiled. "Well, thanks."

Mikeal looked down at his empty cup, scratching the rim of the spoon against the bottom of it. "Do you remember last night?"

"I do." Adam's tone carried a teasing quality that Mikeal didn't appreciate. "Do you?"

"Some of it."

"You were hilarious, by the way. And not in the acting stupid way, either. You were witty and flirty. You could be a real charmer if you came out of your shell a little."

"Do you remember what I said to you? In the bedroom, before I fell asleep?"

"You mean passed out?" Adam teased.

"I'm serious," Mikeal said.

Adam sighed and leaned back on his hands. "You said that you felt a little spinny, but liked it, wasn't sick, something about lubbing me, and that's it."

"Love you," Mikeal corrected. "I said I loved you last night."

"Yeah. It was cute."

"But you didn't say it back."

"Well...no."

"Why not?"

"Are you serious?" Adam asked, watching as Mikeal blushed. "Baby, you were halfway over the moon. I wasn't going to take a declaration of love seriously."

"Well, I'm not drunk right now," Mikeal said. "And I still mean it. So there."

Adam blinked at him. "Mean what?"

"What I said!" Mikeal exclaimed. "That I love you. There, I've said it. Sober this time. And are you going to say it back now?"

Adam shook his head. "No. Sorry baby."

Mikeal was actually surprised. Surely it couldn't be that hard. Just a quick "I love you too." That was all he was looking for. He just wanted to know his feelings were returned.

Now he knew.

"Why?" he asked, mortified at the way his husky voice cracked.

Adam sighed and pulled Mikeal close, rubbing the back of his neck. "I like you Mikeal. I really do. You're smart and fun and sweet. And even when you're being a bitchy drama queen, I like you. But I've known you for, what, a month now? And you want me to tell you I love you already?" He kissed the top of Mikeal's head. "It's too soon, baby." Adam dipped his head and placed another kiss on the corner of Mikeal's lips. "I don't want to say it unless I know. Unless my heart is screaming it at me. Those words are important to me and I'm not going to throw them out there lightly. Not even to avoid hurting your feelings." He tilted Mikeal's face up and stared at his red-rimmed eyes. "I think I can fall in love with you baby. I can see that happening. But I need to know you better. And when I do fall in love with you, I am most definitely looking forward to it."

"Okay," Mikeal said. He pressed his face into Adam's shoulder. His pride was more bruised than anything else, and he felt ridiculous and embarrassed but somehow Adam had worded that entire rejection just the way that Mikeal needed to hear it and that took a lot of the sting away.

***

When they returned to the room later, Mikeal helped Adam change out of the costume and corset. Adam breathed a sigh of relief, arching and popping his back. "That damn thing gets more uncomfortable every year."

"Maybe you're just getting old," Mikeal teased and Adam turned and tackled him onto the bed, tickling him until Mikeal begged him to stop. Adam smiled and kissed him.

"Lay down," Mikeal told him. Adam lifted his eyebrows, but complied, stretching out on his stomach and pillowing his head on his arms. Mikeal took a complimentary bottle of hotel lotion, squeezed a generous handful onto his palms and rubbed them together to warm them before sweeping his hands up Adam's back, up to his shoulder blades and back down again, to the gentle swell of his buttocks and lower back. Then he began to massage the skin in earnest, kneading his fingers and thumbs into the tight muscles, working out the sore spots and stiffness from the corset. Adam moaned and melted underneath him, the muscles softening and yielding under Mikeal's talented hands.

Mikeal was focused on his work, pressing hard into the muscles to loosen them, then lightening his touch to soothe Adam. He hoped to coax his boyfriend to sleep and from the drowsy sounds of mumbling contentment underneath him, it sounded like he was succeeding.

His mind turned as he worked, going over their earlier conversation and his face heated up again in embarrassment. The rejection from Adam still stung, even though his explanation had been solid. But he was going to try be an adult and not be a "bitchy drama queen" about it. However, even hearing what Adam had told him, Mikeal still discovered that he didn't feel any different and began to wonder if he was really in love.

He turned it over in his mind. He liked Adam. Adam was fun, and attractive and he liked to spend time with him. That didn't equal love. He felt that way with Julie sometimes too.

Adam was sexy and Mikeal was definitely attracted to him. Every time Adam touched him Mikeal liked it, and in most cases wanted more. That was something he definitely didn't feel with Julie. But that didn't equal love. That was just a physical thing.

He looked down at Adam, who was lightly dozing, studied the lines of his face and felt an almost overwhelming surge of affection towards him. He liked everything about him. Big things, like his casual attitude towards his sexuality, how he treated his friends and Julie, the way he treated Mikeal, how he had enough confidence to dress up as a woman and do a damn good job at it. He liked the little things, like the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, or the way he looked at him, the way he kissed him and the shape of his hands, the way they felt against him, rough skin over a gentle touch.

He bent down and kissed the back of Adam's neck and felt that constriction in his chest again. There was something there, something that was fragile as glass but strong as concrete and maybe it was love and maybe it wasn't. But whatever it was, it scared the hell out of him. And he didn't want to lose it.