Geeks - 10. Arguments

CHAPTER TEN: ARGUMENTS

Mikeal woke up to someone stroking his hair. He yawned and rubbed at his eyes, warm and content. He rolled over to give Adam a kiss then struggled out from the warm cocoon of sheets. Adam grumbled and tightened his grip on him.

"Don't go," Adam mumbled.

"Gotta pee," Mikeal argued, disengaging from Adam's arms. "I'll be right back."

He used the restroom and stretched a little bit before washing his hands and walked back to the bedroom. He fell into the bed again with a muffled grunt, turning to his boyfriend and exchanging some lazy morning kisses. Adam sighed with contentment and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, lest he think of leaving the bed again.

"Are you okay?" Adam asked.

Mikeal nodded.

"Sore, at all?"

"Just a little bit," Mikeal admitted. He nuzzled Adam's chest as his boyfriend stroked his hair, releasing a low hum of contentment. He kissed Adam's chest, then tilted his neck to kiss his throat and neck, before sliding up his body a little bit to claim Adam's mouth. Adam moaned in approval and returned the kiss eagerly.

Mikeal broke away gently and studied Adam. "Do you have to work today?" he asked.

Adam shook his head. "Not until tomorrow. Why?"

"I forgot to ask you, but Julie wanted to know if we wanted to go to a park today."

"Like a playground?" Adam asked, raising an eyebrow. He liked Julie, but that was a bit too juvenile for him.

"No, like an amusement park," Mikeal told him. "She is going with someone, but isn't comfortable going on a solo date yet. After, you know, the thing."

"Sure, we can do that. Who is she going with?"

"Ash. He's the RA that stayed with her that night."

"I remember." Adam stroked Mikeal's back and was annoyed at the relief he felt. He almost didn't like having to share Mikeal with other people. And he had never considered himself to be the jealous type.

Adam eventually got up and took a quick shower. When he came back out and saw Mikeal still lounging in the bed, naked, he was tempted to strip out of the clothes he had just put on and have some more fun. The only thing that deterred him was the grumbling of his and Mikeal's stomach. He settled for a few kisses and groped Mikeal until his boyfriend batted his hands away to go shower.

Adam cooked them breakfast while Mikeal was in the shower. He found himself humming a little and smiled. He was surprised at how much he liked Mikeal. He loved spending time with him, looking into his dark eyes, smelling his scent all over himself and his sheets, the way Mikeal's hand fit into his. The shy smile that Mikeal gave him and the sound of his voice. He was always looking forward to the next time he would see Mikeal. Dammit if he wasn't falling in love with him.

Still, he couldn't say it. Every time he thought about it, the old embarrassment and hurt he felt when John had rejected him came back, bringing a cold nausea and an instinctive need to defend himself.

He could still see John's flat gaze and hear the mocking edge of his voice. That's really sweet babe, but I don't want to complicate a good thing by bringing in all that relationship crap.

The fact that Mikeal had told him first did nothing to make it easier. Adam personally thought that Mikeal had used the "l" word too early and might change his mind later on. Mikeal didn't seem to have much experience with relationships and he wondered if Mikeal had ever actually been in love.

Mikeal came out while Adam was mulling all that over and Adam smiled again. Mikeal was cute as ever, with his damp hair in a tangled mess and wearing one of Adam's shirts with his own jeans. Adam couldn’t help drawing him into another kiss before sitting down to eat.

Mikeal was quieter than usual during breakfast and Adam noted that he was slipping into his "brooding mood". After eating, Adam kissed him on the back of his head, before setting their plates down in the sink. "What's up?"

Mikeal looked up. "Nothing's up."

"When you get all quiet like this, you usually have something on your mind," Adam pointed out.

Mikeal shrugged, got up and went to sit on the couch. Adam pursued him, sitting down next to him. "Last night..." Mikeal started, looking down at his legs on the couch. "Was everything alright?"

"Of course," Adam responded, before worry bloomed up inside his own chest. "Why? Are you okay? Mikeal, did I...are you hurt?"

Mikeal glanced up at him, surprised and shook his head. "No. No, I'm fine. Just...was I okay?"

"Okay?"

"Like...good?"

"Oh Mikeal." Adam leaned forward and kissed him. "You were wonderful. You were perfect." He kissed him again. "I just want to make sure I didn't hurt you."

"You didn't," Mikeal said. "But...I just-I had never-"

"I know, I know," Adam said. He climbed on top of Mikeal, pinning him down and kissing him again, long and deep. "That is why I wouldn't let you top. We talked about that. Last night was wonderful and you were fantastic. But don't go thinking that you are ever 'not good' or anything like that. Sex isn't a contest or a competition. It's two people discovering what makes each other feel good. Sharing their bodies. Exploring." Adam kissed him again. "Was it too soon?"

Mikeal shook his head. "No. I wanted it. I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't."

"I wanted it too." Adam stroked the side of Mikeal's head, smoothing over his temples with his thumbs. "And if there is ever a problem, baby, I'll bring it to your attention. I don't want you to be so worried all the time."

Mikeal sighed. "I know. But it's hard. I--" He pushed himself up on his elbows and Adam moved back to allow him to sit up. "I've never had something this good. And I don't want to do anything to ruin it."

"I don't think you could," Adam said, grabbing his hand. "As long as you're not a criminal, a woman, or crazy, I can learn to live with it."

Mikeal smiled and hugged Adam. "I think I can deal with that."

Julie still had the siren red hair from the other night and greeted them at the park entrance with a sly wink and knowing smile. Adam chuckled and took Mikeal's hand. Ash was quiet and subdued at first, but soon got caught up in Julie's crazy enthusiasm, following her from ride to ride and joining her when she broke into spontaneous song. Adam wasn't crazy about theme parks or fairs, which were noisy, crowded and smelly affairs, but tolerated it with good humor. He rode most of the rides, delighted to find a Tilt A Whirl that kept Mikeal plastered to his side and a Ferris Wheel where he stole a couple kisses up near the top. They left near the end of the evening and Adam took Mikeal downtown for dinner.

"Are you going home for the holiday, or staying at school?" Adam asked as they ate.

Mikeal glanced up from his salad. "I would rather stay here, but since it's my first year away from home, I should go back. My parents say they miss me and my sisters don't really come home for Thanksgiving anymore."

"I'm stuck with the opposite," Adam said. "I would love to go home, but I don't get a break from work, except for Thanksgiving Day. It's not enough time to justify traveling home."

"I don't live very far. You could spend the holiday at my house," Mikeal said, almost without thinking.

Adam glanced at him, and gave him a long, serious look that Mikeal couldn't decipher.

"How would that work out?" Adam finally asked.

Mikeal shrugged. "You're a friend from school. And you shouldn't have to celebrate Thanksgiving alone."

"How are you going to introduce me? As a friend? As a lover? Your boyfriend?"

Mikeal glanced around nervously. "No, I would just...you're a friend. From school."

"Is that what I am?" Adam leaned forward. "I'm not just your friend, am I Mikeal?"

"No."

"I'm not going to force you to out yourself if you aren't ready. But I'm also not going to stay at your parent's house for several days pretending that we are just friends when we both know we aren't."

Mikeal felt stung. "I wasn't thinking of that. I just didn't want you to have to spend the holidays alone."

"I don't mind it. I'm not crazy about it, but still-" The expression on Mikeal's face kept him from saying that he would rather spend the holiday's alone than closeted at his boyfriend's house. "Is this going to be a problem for you?" Adam finally asked.

"What?"

"Dating an openly gay guy? I spent too many years hiding my feelings. I'm not going to start now."

Mikeal shook his head. "No. Does it bother you to date a guy who is not openly gay?"

"A little," Adam said honestly. He saw Mikeal's body language change, going from a relaxed, casual slouch to crossed arms, stiff back. "I'm not going to lie. I understand that you aren't ready to tell people yet, or at least your family. But I am thinking long term with you. And eventually, the fact that I am out and the fact that you are not is going to cause some conflict."

"You don't understand," Mikeal ground out.

"I don't understand?" Adam said. "You think I haven't gone through the same thing? Wondering what they will think? Will they be angry? Disappointed? Disgusted? Will they hate me? Will they still love me? Is it worth it?"

"I've told you I love you," Mikeal hissed out, his voice breaking. "Don't you even say that I don't think you're worth it."

"That's not what I said," Adam said. He pulled out his wallet and counted out enough to cover their meal and laid the bills on the table. "But obviously that is what you are hearing."

Mikeal jumped up when Adam stood and followed him outside, slightly embarrassed at the scene they were causing. "That is not-"

"You are the one who told me that you didn't want to go through the trouble if you were just a fling," Adam growled out. "Remember that? How come you jump to the same damn conclusion about me not caring every time? I certainly don't remember doing anything that would make you think I'm not happy to be with you. You are the one who is always glancing around to see if anyone notices when I try to hold your hand or give you a hug. It doesn't seem like I am the one who doesn't think it's worth it."

He spun on his heels and stalked back to where he had parked. But before he got there, Mikeal wrapped his arms around his waist, stopping him short. He sighed, deflating a little as he felt the way Mikeal was shaking against him. He turned into Mikeal's embrace and placed his hand on Mikeal's head, stroking the soft strands with his thumb and wrapped his other arm around Mikeal's shoulders.

"It's okay," he reassured him.

"I'm sorry," Mikeal murmured against his shirt.

Adam slowly backed them up until he was leaning against the side of the car, and rubbed Mikeal's back.

"This is just all new. I've never even thought of myself as...as gay until I met you," Mikeal let out a long shuddering breath, resting his cheek against Adam's shoulder. "And I don't know anything and it's just...it's scary sometimes."

"I know." Adam rested his head on the top of Mikeal's head for a moment, and kissed his hair. "I know and I'm sorry I lost my temper. But if you are gay and you want to have a relationship, these things are going to come up. And it is scary. Not everyone is going to understand. Not everyone is going to even try to. It's very scary to think that the people you are close to would be that way. Parents, siblings, friends." He rubbed Mikeal's back some more. "I know why you're hesitant to tell them, Mikeal. And you don't have to do so until you are absolutely ready. The last thing I want is to pressure you. But if we are still together when you do tell them, I don't want our first meeting to be a lie. When I do meet your parents, I want to meet them as who I really am: your boyfriend. And if you are not ready to tell them that, then I am not ready to meet them."

"I understand." Mikeal closed his eyes. "I understand. But I'm still scared. I know how I would like them to react. But I don't know how they really will."

"I wish there was something I could do to help you with that," Adam said. "But I can't predict how they will react. And I can't make people be more accepting."

"I know." Mikeal waited a few moments more before opening his eyes, drinking in the quiet comfort. "I know."

Mikeal returned to the dorm Sunday morning while Adam was on his way to work, and sought out Julie. He sat in her room and Julie let him talk about random things until he worked out what he wanted to ask her.

"How long have you and Ash been going out?"

Julie rested her chin on her knees. "Just a few times. Why?"

"Have you two fought at all?"

"Fought?"

"Had an argument," Mikeal clarified.

"Not yet, I don't think we have been dating long enough. Why? Did you and Adam...?" Julie trailed off, giving him a questioning look.

Mikeal shrugged and avoided her gaze, studying the door of the room over her shoulder instead. "A little. Yesterday."

"About what?" Julie asked, her eyes widening a little.

"Julie, you know my parents pretty well," Mikeal said, tucking a leg up against his chest and resting his chin on his knee. "How do you think they would react if I told them I was gay?"

Julie thought for a moment. "Well, your dad wouldn't care. He loves you so much it's ridiculous. You could commit murder and that man would still love you. It's your mother I would wonder about. She is a tough egg to crack."

"What do you mean by that?" Mikeal asked.

"She's just so damn composed. I haven't seen her express a strong emotion about anything. I don't want to seem cold or anything Mikeal, but I think it is mainly going to depend on how it affects her social standing."

Mikeal geared himself up to argue, then stopped, thought about it.

"Damn, Julie. You're probably right." It was cold, he knew, but it was the truth.

"I'm not saying that either one of them would stop loving you, but I think your mom will have a harder time coming to terms with it. You are the only boy in the family and I think she was depending on getting you married off and having children to carry on the family name."

Mikeal rolled his eyes. "That is exactly what she wants. And it's so old fashioned. She's already trying to set me up with a girl for New Years."

"What about your sisters?" Julie asked.

Mikeal sighed. He always got along well with Lily, the eldest. Lily was already ready for college when Mikeal was born, and felt more like a favorite aunt than a sister. Hyacinth, who had been the youngest until Mikeal came along, had always been a little cool and distant. "Hell, I don't know. Lily is more like Dad, and I doubt she will care very much. Hyacinth...well she never liked how she had to help take care of me while she was in high school. She will probably side with Mom, however she feels about it. But they are both married and Hyacinth already has a kid. They have their own lives and families to worry about."

"Is this what you two fought over?" Julie asked.

Mikeal shrugged. "I don't know. Kind of. I mean, Adam says that he doesn't want to pressure me into coming out until I want to, but at the same time, he doesn't sound like he is very happy to be dating someone who is still in the closet. He is out and he isn't willing to hide it. So when I asked him if he wanted to spend the holidays with me, he said he wouldn't do it unless my parents knew that he was my boyfriend and I'm not willing to do that yet."

"Good," Julie said. "I think that was a smart call. Telling your parents you're gay is one thing. Telling them by having your boyfriend stay over at your house is another thing. But if you keep this relationship with Adam, which I think is doing tons of good for you by the way, then sooner or later they have to know."

"I want to tell them," Mikeal said. "Dating Adam has made me aware of things I've only thought about before. I want to do it for Adam, but I mainly want to do it for myself. I just don't know what they're going to think about it."

"You always want a sure thing, Mikeal, and this time you just aren't going to get it. I can't tell you how they are going to react. No one can."

Mikeal sighed. "I know."

Mikeal spent the afternoon in the dorm, studying and catching up on schoolwork. Adam called and asked if he could pick Mikeal up after work. Mikeal agreed, a little curious. Adam was usually busy with work and schoolwork on Sundays and while they would call each other, they rarely made plans on Sunday afternoons.

Still, he was slightly reassured by the way Adam leaned over to kiss him after he picked Mikeal up at the dorm. So whatever it was, it couldn't be too bad.

"What's up?" Mikeal asked as Adam drove them back to his place. Adam was holding his hand, using his left to manage the steering wheel and he looked lean and sexy in the white button down shirt and black slacks that he wore for work.

Adam shrugged. "I missed you," he said, leaning over for another kiss while they were stopped at a light. "Are you hungry?"

"No."

"Good."

Adam unlocked the door to his apartment but didn't turn on the light. As soon as Mikeal was inside, Adam closed the door and gently pushed Mikeal back against it, covering his mouth with his own. Mikeal, a little surprised but not at all disappointed, kissed him back. Adam was exploring his mouth, and Mikeal let him, touching his shoulders and neck with light lazy fingers.

Everything seemed to take on a sharp, bright perspective; he was acutely aware of the door against his back, Adam's hands on his waist, the differing textures of Adam's hair and shirt under his fingers, and the intense heat radiating off his boyfriend's body. He could taste the unique flavor of Adam's mouth, feel the press of his mouth against his own. It was intense and erotic and he kissed Adam back hungrily, hands drawing his body closer.

Adam rested his head on Mikeal's shoulder, breathing heavily. "I hate fighting. I really do."

"Yesterday wasn't a fight," Mikeal reassured him, shivering a little as Adam kissed his shoulder, sinking his teeth in slightly. "It was more like an argument."

"I still hated it. The way I felt, the things I said."

Mikeal kissed his forehead. "Arguments happen, baby."

Adam kissed his neck. "Let's get right to the part where we have make up sex."

Mikeal smiled as Adam moved them away from the door and towards the bed. He could go for that. He moved in to kiss Adam again, unbuttoning his boyfriend's shirt, and touching him, belly and chest.

Adam slid one hand up the back of Mikeal's shirt, hot against his back, the other one against his hips drawing him closer. Mikeal stroked Adam's temples with his thumbs, touching his throat and the back of his neck. "I like this," Mikeal whispered. He felt embarrassed and emboldened at the same time.

"Like what, baby?" Adam asked as Mikeal pushed Adam's shirt down his shoulders and off his arms.

"Touching you," Mikeal said. His hands were sliding over Adam's body, liking the heat and smoothness of his skin.

"I like touching you too," Adam said, slipping his hands down the back of Mikeal's pants. He gave Mikeal another gentle kiss. "You know what else I like?"

"What?" Mikeal asked, smiling a little as Adam's hands slid lower.

"Watching you," Adam kissed him. "Your face. Your eyes. Your smile." He stepped back. "Your body." Another kiss. "You're so sexy."

Mikeal colored and dropped his eyes. Adam would have none of it, turning his face back up to kiss him again. "Don't be shy. You are sexy." He squeezed Mikeal's hands. "Will you do something for me?"

Mikeal glanced up from behind his glasses. "What?"

"Undress for me. Let me watch."

"Like a striptease?"

"You don't have to dance or anything. I just want to see your body."

Mikeal looked a little uncertain, but before Adam could consider taking the request back, Mikeal kicked off his shoes and reached for the hem of his shirt. Adam sat down on the bed and watched as Mikeal pulled the shirt up and off, revealing his flat stomach and a warm flush that was spreading up his chest to his neck. He glanced at Adam, wetting his lips, the action looking more sexy than nervous as he unzipped his jeans. The grit of the metal teeth separating echoed Adam's need as he watched Mikeal slide them down his long legs. He could already see the evidence of Mikeal's arousal before he pulled off his briefs, but the erection that was visible still kicked his excitement up another notch.

"And what do we have here?" Adam teased, reaching forward and caressing Mikeal's cock. Mikeal grinned and moved in closer, then bent down to kiss Adam and then dropped to his knees. He placed another hot kiss to Adam's stomach as he unfastened his boyfriend's slacks, and slid them down his legs. Adam kicked them off his ankles.

Mikeal reached for the waistband of Adam's underwear, then paused for a moment, pressing his face into the cotton covering his boyfriend's erection, inhaling deeply. He liked Adam's scent, a dark musky erotic aroma. He shyly ran his tongue up the soft material, feeling the firm flesh underneath. Adam moaned, a low sexy sound that went straight to Mikeal's groin. Mikeal smiled a little, then brought Adam's underwear down, kissed the inner crease of his thigh, and climbed on top of him to give him another long, slow kiss. Adam sank back onto the mattress, plundering the warm recesses of Mikeal's mouth. He wrapped an arm around Mikeal's hips, pressing his boyfriend's erection down against his own and writhing up. Mikeal shifted his hips and moved against him agreeably. Adam gripped the back of Mikeal's knee and pulled it up to his hip and pressed down hard at the base of his back.

"Move against me, baby," Adam groaned. "God..."

Mikeal caught his mouth again, shifting and pushing his hips down, grinding his erection against his boyfriends. The delicious friction pulled at him with a desperate need. He moved faster, not even aware of the way his fingernails dug into Adam's skin or the sweeping tension in his legs and feet. All he knew were the points where they were fused together, and then he was pressing hard against Adam, that hot throbbing need coming out of him in wet sticky pulses. He felt a vague increase in pressure as Adam followed suit and then they were slumped together, sweat and cum cooling on their bodies, their labored breathing the only thing breaking the silence. Mikeal kissed Adam again, then rested his head on his chest.

"I don't want to fight with you anymore," he decided.

Adam smiled and stroked his hair. "Me neither."

Later, after they had cleaned up and were cuddled underneath the sheets together, they fell asleep. Adam woke up early the next morning, before the alarm and took a moment to study his lover.

Mikeal was buried deep in the sheets and blankets of the bed, his head, neck and the hint of a shoulder the only parts of him revealed. He could feel the weight of one of Mikeal's legs against his own underneath the sheet and he slid down the mattress until he was face to face with Mikeal and brushed some of his sleep tousled hair away from his face.

"I think I'm falling in love with you," Adam murmured, without thinking about it. And when Mikeal opened his eyes, blinked at him and gave him a sweet sleepy smile, he found that he didn't even care that Mikeal had heard his confession.