Trigger - 1. Chapter 1- "Shattered"

Is this really happening? Is what I'm seeing right now really true?

"Bryce..." I was barely whispering, but somehow Bryce had heard me.

"What... Kaydon? Is that you?"

The music in the background was still pounding, while I, Bryce, and some other boy were standing in a dimly lit room. I had walked in this room to see if I could find Bryce and ask if he was ready to leave... instead I find him kissing another boy.

"What are you doing?..." I said, tears starting to form in my eyes.

"Oh god, Kaydon! This isn't what it looks like! It-"

I ignored his excuses and left him in that room with whoever that boy was. I heard Bryce calling after me, and I ran outside. I tried to find Stephanie, my friend who I had came with.

"Stephanie!?"

She walked up behind me with her boyfriend, she said, "Kaydon?" I turned to look at her. She added, "What's wrong!? You look like you've been crying!"

"I'll explain later. Do you mind if we just leave please?"

"Um, sure." She looked toward her boyfriend and said, "I think we better leave. I'll see you later, ok?"

He kissed her lightly and said, "Sure. See you later." He looked at me and said, "Bye, Kaydon."

I mumbled a "Goodbye" in response while Stephanie grabbed my hand and led me to her car. I started to notice that the tears were slipping and I couldn't hold it in much longer... please, let's just hurry.

I got into the passenger side of the car, and stared out of the window. I saw Bryson looking around, still trying to find me. He didn't realise that I had already left.

"So what happened?" Stephanie had broken me out of my thoughts.

I sighed, and started my explanation, "I saw Bryce with another boy. They were kissing, and holding each other, and just..." I couldn't hold it in any longer. The tears just ran out.

"Kaydon, sweetie it's ok." Stephanie tried to comfort me.

After about 5 minutes, I was finally able to control myself. Steph started the car, and she drove me to my house, in silence... I stared out the window thinking to myself. I looked at myself through the mirror. I was 5"7, and I had long black hair, but not girly. I also had green eyes which I had gotten from my mom. Usually, I would actually look good... but now, my eyes were red, and my face was stained with tears. My thoughts had wondered to Bryce. The first time we met, our first kiss, the first time we had sex... all wasted. I pictured his brown hair which fits perfectly on his head, his chocolate brown eyes, the way his skin glows in the light, and how his smile could brighten anyone's day... how could he do this to me?

"Alright. We're here." Stephanie said. I didn't realise that we pulled up into the driveway. I felt a wave of sadness come over me. I didn't want to be alone right now. It didn't sound like a great way to spend my night in this situation.

I just said, "Oh... ok."

"Are you going to be ok?" She looked at me with a sense of sincerity in her eyes.

"Yeah. I'll be fine. Don't worry."

I lied. I didn't know if anything was going to be ok. My boyfriend had totally betrayed the love I had for him. Who was that boy he was with anyways? I couldn't get a good look at him. Does he mean more to Bryce than I do? Do I mean nothing to him?

Stephanie pushed back her blonde hair. She always keeps it long. She turned to look at me, her green eyes glowing under the street lights. She said, "Kaydon, don't worry about him. It'll be ok. If you need anything just call or text me. Alright?"

"Alright. I will. Thanks for everything. Bye."

I watched as she pulled out of my driveway and went down the street. I walked inside my house. I found my mom asleep on the couch. She always works so hard. After my dad went to jail, after he abused my mom when she was pregnant with me, she works as hard as she can to support me. I haven't seen my dad at all in the 15 years of my life. Which is for the best, I never want to see him ever. I covered my mom up and went to my room. I laid down on my bed, and looked at my clock, which said "11:07."

I thought back to the events that happened that night and my eyes flooded with tears again. Why? How could he do this to me, dammit!?

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Shit... I forgot about my phone. I looked at my phone and it said I had 3 new messages. I knew they were most likely from Bryce. I put my phone on the floor next to my bed. I just don't have the courage or heart to read then right now. I curled up in a ball on my bed and cried to myself. I eventually fell asleep, but what does it matter? My relationship with the one boy I've loved for so long threw me away like trash. My heart is just shattered.

When i woke up the next morning I was still curled up in a ball. Dried tears on my face. I picked up my phone to read the messages that I had gotten. The first was from Bryce, and said, "Where are you?" He must have sent this last night when he was trying to find me at the party. The next one was from Stephanie, it said, "Hey. Don't let Bryce get to you. If he's willing to hurt you like that then he's just an asshole. Remember I'm always here if you need me. Love you." She must have really been worried about me. She's such a good friend. The last one was from Bryce, it said, "I'm sorry, Kaydon... I love you. Please don't forget that." I just really hate everything right now...

I looked at my clock, it said, "8:43." I sighed... it's too early to be awake. I went into the living room. My mom usually works on Saturday so she isn't here. I made myself breakfast and watched tv for about an hour. Then I heard my phone ring... I checked it and it was a message from Bryce. I hesitantly opened the message and it said, "Hey. I really need to talk to you. Just please meet me at our spot..." I thought to myself for a few seconds and then I sent back a message that simply said, "Fine."

I got dressed, and tried to clean myself up. I put my phone back in my pocket. I took a few deep breaths, and walked out. I walked for a good 15 minutes before I got to mine and Bryce's "spot." Our spot was a little pond that was in the middle of a forest, and not many people knew about it, which made it perfect. The pond itself was a good size. It had very green grass and just seemed as though it didn't fit with a forest... it was also where me and Bryce had our first kiss.

I walked past the opening and was led to the oasis-looking pond. Sigh... usually this place would make me feel amazing, but now all I feel is emptiness and sorrow. I walked a little closer to the pond, and I noticed how sunny it was. I guess Bryce wasn't here yet... I sat down and just let the warmth of the sun cover my body. Great... this would be much better if I wasn't so pitiful right now.

"Hey..." I heard his voice. I broke out of my concentration. He sat down next to me to talk better, but I couldn't even look at him. I could see him through the corner of my eye. He hesitated, like he was thinking of something to say. Then, "I'm uh... sorry, Kaydon. I didn't want any of this to happen."

I started to shake, I tried to speak, but I didn't know what to say at this point. He continued, "Kaydon, I love you. You know I wouldn't do this on purpose. We were drinking, and things got crazy." He gently put his hand on my leg.

Please, just stop...

"Come on Kaydon... you know me. I'm so sorry." Something in his voice sounds weird. Was he crying? I took a quick look, and I could see tiny trails of tears leaving his eyes.

I knew I needed to speak. I said in a shaky voice,"I just need time, Bryce."

"Please, Kaydon I-"

"No. Just stop," I interrupted him, "you hurt me, Bryce. If you only knew how heart broken I was when I saw you with that boy... who was he?"

"He's just some boy who goes to our school. He doesn't mean anything to me, Kaydon."

"He obviously means something to you since you and him were making out in a room by yourselves!" I felt the tears starting to sting my eyes. No! I can't let him see me like this. I need to leave.

I stood up, and Bryce grabbed my hand, "Kaydon! Wait, I-"

"Let go!" I snatched my hand away from Bryce. The tears started to fall now. I can't let him see me like this. I can't let him know I'm breaking.

I started walking away. I heard Bryce calling my name, but I just kept walking, wiping tears from my eyes so I could see.

I want to stop feeling like this. I thought coming here would somehow help my pain. Why do I feel even more empty now?