Lust in London - 11. Chapter 11

Alex sank himself into his new job. He wanted to become a star at the legal firm where he was employed. He spent every waking minute there that he could. Earlier that week he’d been invited to lunch with the paralegals. They were all great people, and he didn’t want to leave them for anything.

As for his home life, what little spare time he afforded himself was spent playing puzzle games on the computer or on his brand new Xbox. There were moments of weakness, of course. The first night after their “breakup”, Alex wrote out a long email, confessing everything he felt and wanted to say to the handsome man.

Luckily, his logical side kicked in less than 24 hours later and he deleted ¾ of it. By the time he sent it later that night, it had been boiled down to an “I’m fine, thanks. How are you?” tone. There were other emails, of course. Paolo wrote him or forwarded him jokes all the time. His cousin sent him recipes especially for the single guy. Even crazy Jake would send him an email with a photo of his date-du-jour attached.

It was just over eight days since the breakup. Alex felt very lonely. He’d finally gotten up off the sofa and perused the net in his usual fashion. Even the TV was turned on again for more than just games. He found his favorite local news page and “flipped” through its pages for the last week or so.

“Man, I’ve gotten way too far behind. Now I’ll know what they’re talking about at work.” Alex continued surfing the site, looking under every tab. He even went under “engagement announcements”.

He wondered if it was to torture himself or just to see all the other happy people in the area. The page took a moment to load. “Damn, this thing is so slow! Come on!” He got up and ran to the bathroom. When he returned, the page had loaded. Alex could barely believe his eyes! He ran towards the screen and grabbed it out of sheer disbelief. “No! This…can’t be! How on earth? That shit! That complete shit!” Before him was the menacing headline:

“Mason Adams and Elliott Jenkins announce their engagement.”

Alex wanted to toss the laptop across the room! “You prick! I knew it, I just knew it! You loser! I hate you both!” He fell to the floor and sobbed for a few minutes. His head ran in circles around all the facts that berated him. The way Mason acted, that jerk Elliott, the way the restaurant thing seemed to be so staged! He had to find out. “You won’t get rid of me that easily, Mason Adams. I still love you and I will fight for you.” He picked himself up off the floor, wiped his face, and returned to the keyboard. He printed out the announcement and laid it on the kitchen table. “People’s exhibit A. Fight that one, Adams.” He picked up his cell phone and scrolled through his contacts. Once Mason’s name lit up, he pushed “send”.

An hour later, the two met up at Alex’s home, a/k/a the scene of the crime. Mason was right on time.

“Hello, Alex. Good to hear from you!” He hugged Alex warmly, which confused him.

“Good to see you too! So, been keeping yourself busy?”

“Oh yeah! Sales are through the roof! They want me to go to Paris now!”

“Wow, Paris! Gay Paris. How cool for you!”

“Yeah, it’s a huge opportunity, but it’s what I’ve always wanted. I’m gunning for salesman of the year! Hardly any other time to eat, sleep or breathe! You’ve been a real good guy, being so patient and all.”

Alex smirked to himself. “Yeah, I’m a good little boy, aren’t I? Well, I can recall a time where I was a bad little boy too, don’t you?”

Mason grinned. “I do. We had some really hot times together.”

“Yeah, the few times that we could get together.”

“Alex…”

“Relax, I’m not going there. I, just wanted to clear the air between us, see where things stand.”

Mason tucked his hands into his pockets. “Where did you want things to go?”

Alex shrugged. “I dunno. I was kinda hoping we could still work things out and live together. I wanted you to move here, with me.”

“Move here? Well, that’d take some doing. I’d have to rearrange a lot of things.” Mason’s cell phone rang. It had to be Elliott. “Oops, work. I have to take this.” Mason disappeared into the bathroom again. Alex felt the folded up photo in his pocket and wanted to tear it into a million pieces. How dare this charade go on! He knew the truth, and the fact that Mason was avoiding it completely was both mysterious and infuriating!

Finally, after 15 minutes, Mason surfaced again. “Sorry about that, the life of a salesman.”

“Yeah, that’s gotta be hell, huh? No time for anything else. Not much of a social life either, I’m sure.”

Mason paused. “No, not much of that I’m afraid. My usual company is a strong pot of coffee and my laptop full of contact notes.”

“My goodness sounds so lonely! I worry about you.”

“Oh, no need to. I’ll be alright. I head back home in a couple of days. They’ve been very good about this trip of mine.”

“Are you saying I could’ve gotten you fired?”

“No, but they didn’t like the abruptness of it all. It’s cool; I smoothed things over with them.”

“I know you’re quite the silver-tongued devil. Just like your friend.”

Mason groaned. “Dammit. Will you leave him out of this? He’s not the topic of conversation!”

“Fine, fine, I digress, just worried about you. I don’t know why, but I still have feelings for you.”

Mason pursed his lips. “I know you do, and you’re a sweet kid.”

A sweet kid? Did he actually just say that? “Uh, yeah, thanks, Mason. I’m a pretty good fuck buddy, but that’s about all, huh?”

“Knock it off, will ya?”

“Sure. Well look, I’m sure I’m keeping you from your laptop, so I’ll let you get back to the hotel and do just that.” Alex handed Mason his coat and steered him towards the door.

“Is that all you wanted to discuss? Just the daily grind, nothing more?”

“Nope, that was pretty much it. Good to see ya. When do you leave town?”

“Friday afternoon. I want to take you to dinner before then, if that’s alright.”

“Oh, that’s fine. Hey, let’s just not go to that same place as before. Some of the clientele are a little iffy.”

Mason rolled his eyes. “Knock it off about Elliott!”

“No! I’ll never knock it off! He came in and interrupted everything! I know he’s in your life!”

Mason’s eyes grew wide. “How do you know that?”

“Oh, so it’s true? Really? So, that means you just totally lied to my face! You told me it’s over between you two! You don’t have time for anyone or anything else in your life.”

“What I do with my personal time is no longer your business!” Mason shouted back. Alex had to blink profusely to keep his eyes dry.

“It isn’t my business? Someone you wanted to live with just two weeks ago? Now I don’t even get the daily report? You ass! I used to be your lover! Now I’m what, the paper boy? When was the official declaration of us ending? Oh, that ridiculous conversation we had over a week ago, that was it? My bad. Do I have to sign something?”

Mason slammed his fist on the table. “Enough! I’ve had it with you and your demented ways!”

“Yeah? Well I’ve had it with being suspicious! If I knew how you really felt about me that might end, wouldn’t it? But no, we can’t have that, can we? Tell ya what, you’re in sales, you’ll understand this. Deal or no deal?”

“What?”

“You heard me! Either we’re together or we’re not! No other way, no other people, nothing! Yes or no?”

Mason covered his mouth for a moment. “Alex…”

“Yes or no? Oh, by the way, if you say no, I have a prepared speech.”

Mason sneered. “I’ll just bet you do. What is it?”

“So, is that your answer? No?”

“I don’t know what my answer is yet! What’s this speech you made up?”

“Fine, you get to hear it anyway. I must give credit where credit is due though, I didn’t write it, thanks to Tiffany Tallman.”

Mason frowned. “Who the hell is Tiffany…?”

Alex cut him off and pulled out the piece of paper from his pocket. “With great joy and love, Mason Benjamin Adams and Elliott Taylor Jenkins announce their engagement today at the…”

Mason snatched the piece of paper from Alex’s hands. “Where the hell did you get this?”

“Ever heard of the newspaper? Wow, some worldly guy you are. Excuse me; wouldn’t you have known your picture was being put out there for the whole damn town to see?” Mason stared at the photo, either out of shock, embarrassment or both. He finally lowered the paper and saw Alex’s mouth trembling.

“Alex, I swear to you…”

“Oh, so now this is the part where you deny your own fiancé? Very nice, I’m sure Elliott will love hearing that.”

“I’d never deny the man I’m in love with!”

“Oh, but you’d roll me out the curb with the garbage? Is that it? Dammit, Mason! You didn’t have the decency to even tell me? When did this even happen? You owe me that much.”

Mason looked into the hurt man’s eyes and nodded. He motioned for them to sit down. “You’re right. I do owe you that much. Dammit, I never even saw it coming. Two days after you and I had our last talk here, he cornered me in the office, took me away in his car. We drove for hours and discussed everything. He presented a ring, I practically threw up! I felt a lot of things. I worried about you, my parents, and my work! What in the world was going on? Why was he so desperate to marry me now? Then it hit me, it was because of you.”

“Because I’m in your life.”

Mason nodded. He turned his gaze to Alex. He brushed away the tears that had left trails on his tan face.

“Mas…I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s ok. I knew we wouldn’t work out, but I dunno if Eli and I will either. Guess I’m kinda on the fence.”

“Well, you had a choice. Live with me, here, or anywhere! I still love you, but I know you don’t feel the same. I can’t forgive that. I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.”

“What?”

“Mason, you aren’t mine! You lied to me about all of this! How can I trust you? I can’t! Just, get out, for good!”

Mason bristled. “Alex…”

“Get out. Don’t call me again, ok. I hope you’re happy with your choice.”

Mason unbolted the latch and let in the freezing cold air. He stifled a sob and looked back at Alex once more. “I’m sorry.”

“Bye, Mason.” Alex walked towards the door and pushed it shut, latching it as quickly as he could.

****

It was a week later. He scarcely recalled his own graduation ceremony. He stood there, stick-straight and silent. He walked up and accepted his diploma, and moved

off the stage. Everything was in a time bubble that had seemed to have stopped. It was divided into two distinct worlds: the pre-Mason era and unfortunately, the

post-Mason era. The weather had turned sharply colder. Sleet and snow were in the forecast, just in time for Christmas. Alex would be going home to his folk’s house

the next day for a couple days. Despite having his own place; he always loved staying with his parents are holiday time. He wondered how he’d survive this year,

though. What he wondered most was how he’d survive without Mason.

The fire died slowly. Alex watched its flames and embers slowly fade away. He watched it for a moment; mesmerized by it all. He hoped passionately that his hurt

feelings would burn away like the embers. This entire week had been little more than him going through the motions. He remembered very little about the past seven

days; except that he was extremely numb. He was numbed by his crushed heart and by the absolute lack of compassion that Mason had exhibited during the

breakup. Alex truly thought and believed that the time would’ve come where their feelings would come to bear. It had to happen, right? Everyone has to know

eventually? That was his fatal flaw; assumption. Alex knew so little about relationships and what smattering of facts he had collected were all from dramatic movies

and television. He kept hoping that after a two-hour drama, there would be a happy ending in it for him somewhere. No such luck.

Alex scooted up in his chair and pulled his knees to his chest. He wrapped the blanket around himself to resemble a cocoon. He was beginning to cave in on his

feelings and self-doubts. His mind was a vicious whirlwind of thoughts and memories of their brief relationship. If only he had never seen that engagement

announcement. Things would be so different. Or would they? By now, it was too late. It had to be. The company wanted Mason to start in Paris as soon as possible.

The wedding had to be squeezed in just for scheduling. It would almost have been easier to bear if Mason had died. At least there would’ve been a definite finale to it

all; a reason. This, "situation", made no sense at all. There had to be an explanation in the grand scheme of things somewhere.

Through all of his dramatic studies; Alex had witnessed time and again the over-the-top love story where the spurned party and the transgressor are tearfully

reunited. There’s a swell of cheesy music and a long, wet kiss. He’d seen it so many times, it made his stomach turn. However, in his darkened mood; it seemed

suddenly quite appealing. How completely wonderful would it be to have Mason knock on his door, decked out in his finest, carrying wine and roses, professing his

undying love for Alex. Holy cow, I’m getting sappy and delusional! Alex berated himself for his ridiculous daydreams. Nothing like that is going to happen. Mason is

gone, he’s getting married to that prick, Elliott, it’s over. That’s all, end of story. Alex froze suddenly.

He swore he heard a sound. He cautiously unwrapped himself from the blanket and stood up. He tip-toed over to the door; where he could have sworn he’d heard a

knock. Was it the sleet, the fire? His imagination was running wilder than a runaway train? Alex snuck up on the door as if it were his prey. He took hold of the

deadbolt and unlatched it. He opened the door slowly; the icy air outside struck his face as a horrible slap. His brown eyes became wet with ice and the cold air. He

squinted; trying to see if anyone was there. Not a soul in sight. Alex stepped outside the door and craned his head around the corner. He looked up and down the

street. All he saw were cars, ice, pavement, and the other houses. It was as cold as death. Alex rolled his eyes. He’d become convinced he’d need mental medication

for hallucinations. He stepped back inside and shut the door loudly. The bitterly cold air followed him in and a shiver ran through his slight body. He re-bolted the

door and ran back over to stir the dying flames. Dumb kid, did you really think anybody would be there? Honestly? I’m just a stupid kid… Alex covered his mouth for

a moment; trying to stifle his fresh batch of tears. Would this miserable night ever come to a conclusion? Would he ever find peace?