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    totallyy
  • totallyy
  • Author
  • 12/26/2014
  • 42 Words
  • 796 Views
  • 2 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Rhymes - 9. Warped

Poetry Prompt 4: Meter
Theme: Favourite Food.

Fire warms the lonesome warrior

Memories marred by chilling silence.

Empty tables empty platters

Promises no more kept by corpses.

Sugar sours, bitter lingers.

Favourites haunted, ghosts of mistakes

Past, fatigue devours courage.

Emptiness feeds on damaged people.

Copyright © 2016 totallyy; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Irritable1

Wow! So, let's see... alternating lines of 1) iambic tetrameter and 2) a dactyl and then three iambs. I struggled a little bit with the sense of the first two lines of the 2nd stanza, but for a first shot, this is really superb. I am especially so impressed with the way you nestled the dactyl into a single word every time! But just generally, I think you've taken a very basic challenge and made a tour de force: this is a poem, not just an exercise.

totallyy
On 12/27/2014 06:58 AM, Irritable1 said:
Wow! So, let's see... alternating lines of 1) iambic tetrameter and 2) a dactyl and then three iambs. I struggled a little bit with the sense of the first two lines of the 2nd stanza, but for a first shot, this is really superb. I am especially so impressed with the way you nestled the dactyl into a single word every time! But just generally, I think you've taken a very basic challenge and made a tour de force: this is a poem, not just an exercise.
hahaha thank you so much for the high praise. it was an attempt. meter is too rigid for my tastes. it was really fun to write this though, stretch out those muscles :P i've never noticed how completely instinctive the stresses go in my speech, it's really hard to figure out where the accent falls. :P
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