Jump to content

  • Join Gay Authors

    Join us for free and follow your favorite authors and stories.

    totallyy
  • totallyy
  • Author
  • 11/22/2014
  • 14 Words
  • 766 Views
  • 3 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Rhymes - 8. Lit Windows

Poetry Prompt 2: Haiku

Flurries, drifting slow.

Warmth in distant lit windows,

Beckon to cold hearts.

Copyright © 2016 totallyy; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 5
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
You are not currently following this story. Be sure to follow to keep up to date with new chapters.

Recommended Comments

Chapter Comments

totallyy
On 11/23/2014 09:01 AM, Irritable1 said:
Oy, packing quite the emotional punch in a limited space! I like the almost onomatopoeic beginning with "flurries," because it feels like a breath of cold wind.
:) Thank you so much. Haikus are difficult, they're short. and i definitely am of the opinion that it is much more difficult to express the fullness of emotion in a 5-7-5 than a 1000-word short story.
  • Like 1
AC Benus

Hi @totallyy. I don't know how I missed commenting on this poem the first go around. Right now I'm revising my poetry prompts to make them into a book.

 

I love how evocative this poem is; the small scale works for your purpose here, I feel. The only thing I might mention for the next time you think about Haiku is to not have have a hard stop (a period) at the end of any of the lines. If you think of this poetical form as being like a stanza, which it is in Japanese, then the three lines should flow naturally. That is, they should develop a single thought without break from start to finish.

 

But anyway, I do love this poem :)

View Guidelines

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Newsletter

    Sign Up and get an occasional Newsletter.  Fill out your profile with favorite genres and say yes to genre news to get the monthly update for your favorite genres.

    Sign Up
×
×
  • Create New...