The Long Road To... - 20. Nods

It was well after dark by the time I had dragged and dropped down the deer in front of the goat pen. I had no idea how truly late it was until I poked my head in the door and saw Maritimus curled up in his netting. I felt a little put off that he had not waited up.

I leaned in and quietly lit a small torch for light then went back outside. It did not take all that long to drag the animal to the trees and dress it out. I did not feel all that dirty so I did not bother with washing other than to pull up water from the well for my arms and face. I crept in and then crawled into bed for a good night’s sleep.

~ ~ ~

I woke, alone once again, in the house. The light was not all that bright from the door. Upon looking outside, I could see rain clouds.

Maritimus came around the side with branches and wood for the fire.

“Well done,” was all he said, nodding to the deer hanging from the tree.

I drew more water from the well and watched him return and walk around the house. He was back with more wood and inside before I could say anything. Not that I needed to. Probably bringing in extra logs to keep them dry from the coming rain. I needed to be ready too.

I grabbed my knife and walked over to butcher the deer as best I could. I heard the sound of him chopping apart the tree that lay from the other day as I cut. Both of us worked to beat the rain.

I had much of it apart when he approached and gathered up some of the pieces. I wrapped the rest in the skin tightly and brought it with me to the house. He was inside and arranging some of the chunks in the large pot over the fire and was busy with his task enough to not notice me.

“Maritimus…”

“Salt in the barrel.” He gestured to the one in front of the closed door. “Hang on the chimney or wherever you could find space. And Talon…”

I waited and he caught my eyes.

“Please call me Mari.” He smiled and returned to his pot. I went over to the barrel and picked the packages off the top. The parcel of candy was decidedly lighter than before. Together, we finished both salting and hanging. What with the extra wood, and now the meat hung around the fire, the house felt, for the first time, close.

I heard the soft sound of thunder in the distance. He stood in the door and looked out. I approached behind him. The goats were slowly wandering back. He smiled at them. The rain had not started yet, but they knew it was coming. He followed the last of them and shut them in the pen to weather out the storm in shelter.

Before long, the rain began to fall, but I heard no more thunder. I stood in the door and watched. At first it had come in a soft flutter, now it dropped in fat drips of water. The fields would be all the greener for it.

I felt him behind then beside me. He held some clothes, bedding, and fabrics in his hands. He tossed them out onto the ground and began to take off his own garments. Soon, he stood stark naked next to me. He chuckled and walked straight out into the cleansing water that was falling. He took the clothes and wrung them and re-wrung them in the rain before he took them to the garden fences and began laying them over to continue to rinse and refresh.

He caught me watching and beckoned with his free hand. I had done as much in the wild, in between battles, as quickly as possible, but this was in peace, it would seen odd to relax in the rain, but somehow it would be natural to be able clean off everything, right then and there. I smiled back to him and proceeded to pull off my clothes and come out of the house as bare as he was. We did the same with my things as he had done with his then we moved on to the bed-stuffs and miscellaneous from the house.

When we were done, he backed up a few feet. Next, he started to rub himself down all over, wiping his skin under the water. I proceeded to do the same. He shook his head out and ran his fingers through his hair and over his face. With the wetness shining all over him, he looked younger, newer, wiser, and refreshed.

He clapped me on the back, laughed, and then trotted to the house. I shook my hair out and dragged my fingers over my scalp again. I was about to go in when I saw him coming back. He had a small object he was unwinding from a leather wrap. It was a small flute.

He tossed the casing aside and put the instrument to his lips. The sound was rough, but the notes were strong. He tapped his bare foot on the wet ground. He played harder and longer.

I chuckled and lightly clapped my hands in time. The notes sounded better and the rhythm more consistent. The corners of his mouth rose and he played. I tapped my foot in time with his. He tossed his head back and shook his hair as he played. The rain bounced off his chest.

He began to stomp with the melody and spun around. I shook myself a little and swayed with his music. He had danced and played before, but not it a while. It was obvious by the strained start and then the quickening pace and complexity. He played and danced as if a forgotten spirit of the forest, a long lost god of nature and music or so it seemed to me in the moment.

I had not the passion or skill, but I had the desire and willingness. I continued to clap along harder and turn and sway to the song.

He spun and bumped my naked hip with his bare one. I began to dance in the water that jumped off my body. I laughed out loud, it felt so good. I felt as happy as a child. I think he felt the same. We were two children, laughing, dancing, innocent, playing naked in the rain.

The music went on for a good while as we spun around, then my step faltered. I slowed to catch my breath. I had been unaware of how hard I had been going and had winded myself. I felt old again. I looked at him. He was still going, dancing and playing. He was older than I in years, but younger in spirit. I enjoyed seeing him like that. I watched and clapped along until the music slowed, but I did not dance anymore.

He dropped the flute from his lips and breathed heavily. I clapped him on the back and he grinned. The rain was not letting up. He nodded to the house and we walked to the light still streaming out.

Once in, he grabbed some pieces from the remaining scraps, handed one to me and wrapped one around his own shoulders. The hot supper made from my deer seemed exceptionally good somehow. I felt extra sleepy as I lay back in the bed-pile. I watched the fire and him sitting near it. He looked so content and peaceful resting on the bench in the flickering light. I closed my eyes and listened to the crackle of the wood. I heard him walk towards me then make his assent up to his nest above.

“Goodnight Talon,” he whispered.

“Goodnight Mari,” I whispered back.

~ ~ ~

I woke before him miraculously and crept out into the rising sunlight. I checked my clothes on the fence. Still damp. I left them alone. I went to the goats and let them out before grabbing the shovel.

Mari appeared soon after I started. He chucked at the sight of me: the crazy old man mucking out a goat pen buck naked. He shook his head and went to the clothes. He must have found that his were drier because he put his on right there.

I finished with the shovel while he was in his garden. I came to the fence and pulled up my clothes. They were still on the moist side, but I had worn worse before. I walked down the trail to the pond and bathed before putting them on.

The rest of the day I spent by finishing chopping up the tree for wood for us. There was fresh milk again for supper and still plenty of my kill.

In the morning, I strolled out and found a larger tree to cut down. It was quite an accomplishment just to drag it back. Mari whistled his approval. In the afternoon I picked up some rabbits with some old snare tricks that I had set out. Dinner included some wild berries and apples that Mari had picked.

The following day was spent working on the tree and stacking it against the house. Later I took some of my belongings and buried them in a spot within sight of the hill. A jagged rock and a berry bramble marked the place.

The days bled together a little and I began to think of the world beyond Mari’s homestead. I would make myself a place like this someday. A place of my own. I could be happy and content the same way as he was. For he certainly seemed at peace with his life and his home.

His home.

It was not mine. I sighed. It was his. I climbed the hill itself. He was content with me here but ultimately, he expected me to go. He never said so, in fact we did not talk all that much. It was one of the reasons that I liked him. Other than the day to day, we did not discuss the past or future, if we spoke at all is was of the present.

I looked out from the hilltop. I thought I could see the sea between the land and the sky towards the sunset. In another direction, I could not be sure, but it may have been the Capitol. It was to far away to be certain. If it were, it was closer than I thought. Still, no one had come to this place since I had been here. Mari had not left either. What had he said? Something about not needing to know everything going on out there.

I wondered if the King and Phaetheon had already begun the attack on the Duke and if they had forgotten all about me and if it really mattered if they had. Then there was Stag’s Pass. If they had rebuilt their walls, they might not even see Phaetheon. They seemed to think they could wall themselves in forever. Maybe they could, if Ambrosius let them alone and only used the rest of the valley. Should I go all the way home, I had no idea what I would find. There could be nothing left at all. If my family was still alive, if the war had not hit them harder, I had no idea how I would be taken, or if I would be taken in. To them I could be a deserter, an adventurer, a wanderer, a coward, useless. I could survive till the end being shunned if I had to. I could live on the edges. If they were scattered to the wind, I would find somewhere else. I had to. Mari was a most gracious and kind host, but I could not be his guest forever.

At supper, Mari seemed to notice I was not the same. The questions had been haunting me all day.

“Alright?” He asked gently.

I nodded.

“Don’t you worry.” He put his hand on my shoulder. “You already know the answers.” He smiled and raised his bowl to drink directly from it.

~ ~ ~

The new day dawned and I woke later than Mari again. Not surprising, as I had stayed up late once more to watch the stars. One night soon I would ask him to teach me the real names of the constellations here, not the made up ones that I was now using.

I walked outside. Today he was not in sight. Probably picking fruit. Today, I would chop more wood. I had completed that first one he had brought, the second one I had dragged in, and begun the third. He would not need any for a very long while.

I looked over at the buck hanging from the tree. This one was larger than then that first one. A feast for days. Yep, that is where I would start. I went back in to get my knives.

I felt and heard before I saw and recognized. A small cart with two figures on it slowly advanced in the early morning sun. It was coming to us, there was no other place to go on the path. It was for me.

It was time to go. I was a little saddened by the thought of leaving, but then again this was really not my home and not my place to question any further.

I shuffled into the house and thought to put my things together. There was not enough to even put anything together really.

I poked my head out the door and I could make out the riders. A larger than life Artor sat talking in the sun and Phaetheon, with his hood up, in his plain robes quietly listening. Mari came into view from the side and walked to meet them.

I watched silently from the shadows of the house. They stopped at the garden, the same way Galehault and I had that first day. Without warning, Phaetheon jumped down and ran to Mari. He embraced him tightly. Mari returned the hug in a more familiar way and talked over his head to Artor. So odd to see the exchange, to see that much emotion from Phaetheon.

Artor jumped down and shook hands before tying off the horse. All three gathered up goods from the cart and walked towards the house and me. I walked out to greet them before being caught spying on the reunion.

“Talon! Good to see you!” Artor shouted.

“Yes, Talon, you look well,” Phaetheon said giving me an appraising look. “I hope you have had some good time away to rest and relax out here.”

“Ha!” Mari guffawed. “He worked non-stop. I have enough wood for two seasons stacked up.” He smiled widely. “And then there was all the fresh meat. An great hunter, that one is.”

It felt like he had just said more words in those few sentences than he had in the last few days.

Artor set down his bag beside the door. “There is plenty more,” he grinned at me.

We unloaded the rest into and around the house. There had been plenty brought for Mari and his simple lifestyle out here. From his robe Phaetheon produced a familiar looking package.

Mari laughed and clapped his hands. “You are too good to me!” He took the parcel, opened it, and put the first candy in his mouth.

Phaetheon laughed.

“Come, let’s sit and have a drink while you get me caught up on the happenings in the capitol and what you have been up to now.” Mari smiled.

As with days ago, we sat by the well and drank its fresh water.

“Ambrosius started his troops,” Phaetheon said matter-of-factly. “They are coming from a few different posts so as not to weaken any one place. I will meet up with them at Justinian’s.” He looked at me thoughtfully. “From there we will finish it with the Duke begin to clean up his mess.”

“A large task,” remarked Maritim, “You up to it?”

Phaetheon‘s cheeks, to my eyes, went pink.

Artor chuckled uncomfortably.

“I hope so,” Phaetheon said quietly.

“I do too,” Mari said whistfully. “I won’t be there to clean up after you, you know.” He chuckled.

Artor’s mouth opened with surprise, then he smiled widely. Phaetheon blushed harder.

“And you…” Mari turned to Artor. “What are your plans then?”

“Taking…” Artor stammered, “a rest.”

“A well deserved one,” Phaetheon interjected.

“Ah, well then: retirement.” Mari smiled. “And about time. How is your wife?”

“Good, Quen is doing well.”

“Any more children then?”

Artor coughed. Phaetheon laughed.

“Galehault looked well and eager for battle. Is he finally going with you?” Mari looked between them.

“I expect so.” Artor looked at Phaetheon who only shrugged.

“The others must be growing like weeds.” Mari smiled. “Holeman must be starting to train soon.” Artor nodded. “Beximore and Dathain next then right?” Artor nodded again. “Bartoc, Cajunor and Maynes still too young to worry about yet I should think.” Artor shook his head and chuckled. “Now who am I missing?”

Artor laughed. “Only Nimuee, but then you never met her, or Maynes for that matter. I am impressed, you got all of them! It has been a long time Mari!”

My mind reeled. How could he remember all those kids. I didn’t remember that many. How long had it been since he had seen or heard about them? Years?

“You must visit the city more often,” Phaetheon added.

“Don’t need to. I have everything I need here. And what I don’t, you lot will bring.” Mari sat back and smiled.

“Till the end,” Phaetheon said with a soft tenderness. He put his hand on Mari’s.

There was a sudden silence between us.

“There was buck outside,” Artor said suddenly, breaking the awkwardness that threatened. “You need help with that?”

Mari pointed at me. “More meat thanks to him.” He smiled directly at me.

“I can help you finish.” Artor stood.

I looked at Phaetheon, he grinned and looked down.

I stood, grabbed the knives, and followed Artor out to the kill that hung from the trees. We dropped it and started in.

I caught movement in the corner of my eye. I glanced up to see Mari and Phaetheon talking and walking. They slowly made their way around the house and onto the path that led around the hill. Mari’s strong arm was around Phaeteon’s shoulders. I turned and caught Artor watching me. He shrugged.

“He is the only man I have ever seen that treated Phaeteon like child.” He grinned. “I wouldn’t mention it to anyone, least of all Phaetheon.”

We went back to the buck. With the two of us it did not take all that long, even with the butchering and treating of the meat.

We were just finishing cleaning up our hands when Mari and Phaethon returned. They were laughing. Mari ruffled Phaetheon’s hair.

“A good sign,” Artor commented next to me.

“All done I see. Thank you. It would have taken me all day and the goats need attending to,” Mari smiled, grabbed a bucket, and walked out toward the goats. Phaetheon stopped next to me and watched him.

“Are you ready to go?” He asked quietly.

I nodded. Mari had sat next to one of the goats and had begun to milk her. I would miss him and his easy ways. He did not need me, he did not need anyone. I would be like that again. I had to be.

I nodded again.

“We head back and go directly to a ship on the river and sail back. We will avoid the Capitol all together.” Phaetheon caught my eye. “Unless you want to head into the harbor…” He chuckled mischievously.

I shook my head.

“When you are ready then. Artor, let’s see if there is anything else we should attend to before we go.”

I walked into the house, another world that I had felt so at peace in, but there were other places to go still. I did not know if I could go on alone, but I would try. I had to try and forget of how I had done things before and figure out how I would do them later.

I would start again back in my birth land. From there, I could take a pilgrimage maybe. I would go to the place where the Earth Father had created man.

I heard someone come in behind me. I turned to see Mari not doing anything but watching me. I finished putting my few possessions in my single small satchel.

“Talon…” I looked at him half hidden in the shadows. “I will miss you, but you still have the long road to… well… only you know where. My road ends here.” He smiled. “You will find your way. That I promise.” He opened his arms. It was a surprise, at first I stepped back. He shook his arms again to beckon me to him. I crossed to him cautiously. He leaned, his arms open, but did not touch me. He waited as one would wait for an animal to make up its mind. I finally did and leaned and he took me in his arms. He was strong. I hugged him back lightly.

I felt his face slide along my head so his mouth was near my ear.

“Remember always: to deny the past is to deny the future and you cannot live in either,” he whispered and released me, pulled back slightly, and looked into my eyes.

He smiled easily, leaned forward again, and kissed me on both cheeks.

“Time waits for no one, you best be on your way.” He nodded to the door.