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    Emi GS
  • Emi GS
  • Author
  • 08/08/2015
  • 721 Words
  • 2,028 Views
  • 16 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Suicide Note - 1. Suicide Note

A Suicide Note written out of all the Pain...

Suicide Note

 

Today I am beyond tempted, more than ever before. This empty feeling in my heart has not gone away. It’s not just because of him and the one he is sleeping with; it’s me. I hate myself right now. This pain, this hatred… all my fault.

I do like relationships, both God's given and those I built throughout my life. Why is my Life so miserable? Was I made with God’s wrong hand? Was God upset or moody when he was creating me?

I have ruined all my relationships beyond repair. My parents feel I am worthless. They really do. My sister decided I shouldn’t have anything to do with her family, and my brother confessed he can’t fight with me anymore. I have nothing to do with any of my family members anymore...

My buddies are all extremely selfish. They only deal with you if they are going to get benefit.

My boyfriend, if you can call him that, was straight at first. Then he began flirting with me, making me question his sexual identity. One fine day he goes all romantic on me, makes me believe he adores me. The very next day I walk in on him with another guy, and he behaves like nothing happened.

I have made up my mind; I am not going to be anyone's fall guy. No one is going to make me feel that way again. I'd deal with my feelings in my own way.

I used to have faith in love, I used to believe it was true... not anymore. To have loved and lost is the most painful feeling that anyone can possibly bear.

To have that warm glow inside and suddenly realize that you may never feel that sensation again… that's a torture that no one else can possibly understand. Not even me.

This is my miserable life. I have been total wreck thinking about everything. I really put my heart in every relationship I have, and I get more hurt and pain every time as a result. The hope of 'God's help’ vanished a lifetime ago.

This pain, this empty feeling inside of me is telling me I need an Escape. A great escape, one that will get me out of all this. Out of nowhere, a word hits my brain like a perfect solution.

 

END...

 

Yes an end...

 

An End to all miseries, to all the tearful nights, to all the depression, to all the pain; an end to my f***ing life...

Yeah, 'Death' was my only escape, from all these feelings and relationships; from all these miserable things.

 

This is no longer an idea that is building from my teenage angst. The thought of suicide is now going to be a reality. A tear drops from my left eye, traveling south on the suicide note, where I am signing my name, 'Davy.'

My little Al used to call me that, a name that excited pure love. The flood of tears began. I finally let it down, all the way.

These are not just tears. They are a result of betrayal, of the pain of abandonment, of complete loneliness. Finally, I look back at the Suicide Note...

********

 

“I can't do this anymore...

And I don't wanna do this anymore...

Living with the pain and betrayal is not my thing anymore...

-Davy”

 

********

 

This suicide note, to who in particular I don't know, is written.The first step to the end has been taken. And now the main step...

How? Why? Why suicide?? Why do I have to kill myself??? I have been thinking back about my life, which has led to my decision to end it. I’m now thinking back, trying to find a reason to stop. Do I deserve this? All I can think about is how lonely I have been till this point...

Thinking back, I pick up a pocketknife I always have with me, ready to cut my wrist.

Suddenly, from the dead silence I heard a loud beep that startles me back into the present. It is my computer, telling me I have a new e-mail, an e-mail that temporarily halts my misery and gives me an inkling of hope. Finally, I may have something to prove. Something to live...

Thanks to Kobz, Drew and Kitt for their Support.
Thank you all for putting time to read my story. Feel free to Review and Comment. I'd Love to hear from You All
Copyright 2015 The Eminent MGK; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 16
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

  • Site Moderator
Reader1810
  • Site Moderator

A lot of what I was wondering about has already been well put by Graeme, so I won't repeat it in my review.
What I do want to say is that I found this piece to be powerful and wonderfully written. I just find the subject matter leaves me sad for the poor soul sitting at the computer and angry at those who let him down.
I hope that email brings good news...
I will be following this story with both trepidation and hope.....

  • Like 1
Emi GS
On 08/12/2015 07:10 AM, Reader1810 said:

A lot of what I was wondering about has already been well put by Graeme, so I won't repeat it in my review.

What I do want to say is that I found this piece to be powerful and wonderfully written. I just find the subject matter leaves me sad for the poor soul sitting at the computer and angry at those who let him down.

I hope that email brings good news...

I will be following this story with both trepidation and hope.....

Thanks for that... I'll hope to make you all Happy with my Story...

Emi GS
On 08/12/2015 05:41 AM, Graeme said:

A strong start to the story. Pain, misery, despair...and then maybe a glimpse of hope. Is this going to be a story of hope and redemption, or is this going to be a story of how someone is led to the permanent solution to a temporary problem? We're going to have to wait and see...

Thanks for the review and Yes we have to wait and see what will happen next...

Defiance19

This is a really good, emotional start. I feel the intensity of Davy's pain, and desperation, then the distressing doubts that follow. It leaves me sad, as it's not an easy subject matter, but I am hopeful that whatever comes next will put him on a path of much less anguish, and of course, lead to a silver lining.
You told this story very well, I hope you continue, as I'm looking forward to this journey.

  • Like 1
Emi GS
On 09/11/2015 11:52 AM, Parker Owens said:

Davy hurts, and it's starkly written down. He must have plenty of anguish piled on in layered to feel this way. The simple beep distracts, but can it hold the blade away from the skin? Great suspense packed into a painful note. Nicely done. More chapters coming?

Hurt? Yeah hurting was there, but who you have to find out. Just check on my blog 'Secret behind Suicide Note'. Suspense is going to stay on for some time. We have to wait and see what's gonna happened next... that means more chapters are coming. Not but least, Thank You for the review... :)

Emi GS
On 09/10/2015 12:58 PM, Defiance19 said:

This is a really good, emotional start. I feel the intensity of Davy's pain, and desperation, then the distressing doubts that follow. It leaves me sad, as it's not an easy subject matter, but I am hopeful that whatever comes next will put him on a path of much less anguish, and of course, lead to a silver lining.

You told this story very well, I hope you continue, as I'm looking forward to this journey.

Silver lining was definitely going to be there... but when I can't say... Thank you for the compliments... I am not gonna make you all wait... :)

Emi GS
On 09/28/2015 12:23 AM, Mikiesboy said:

There is always something worth living for. I know. Suicide is a waste, but I certainly understand why some people feel there is no other option.

Glad Davy had an angel send him an e-mail, just when he needed it.

Keep writing my friend,

 

tim

I know there will be certain circumstances those will some people to kill themselves. I don't think suicide is the only option about these times, but the Hope of tomorrow will give a worth to live. I hope Davy's misery will get Hope from that e-mail... :)

 

Thank You for the Review...

Lisa

I'm on pins and needles now, MGK.

 

Suicide is never the answer. There is always hope somewhere deep down inside. You just have to look for it.

 

I know the pain, despair, and betrayal Davy is talking about, but there's always something to hope for. Davy is young; he has his whole life ahead of him, he can't give up now. He needs to talk to someone. Maybe the person who sent him the email. Hopefully it's not spam.

 

MGK, I don't know if it was in the formatting, but throughout the chapter there were words that were stuck together, likethis. Just thought you might like to know in case you want to go back and stick a space between them. :)

 

Ok, on to chapter two.

  • Like 1
Emi GS
On 09/28/2015 11:37 AM, Lisa said:

I'm on pins and needles now, MGK.

 

Suicide is never the answer. There is always hope somewhere deep down inside. You just have to look for it.

 

I know the pain, despair, and betrayal Davy is talking about, but there's always something to hope for. Davy is young; he has his whole life ahead of him, he can't give up now. He needs to talk to someone. Maybe the person who sent him the email. Hopefully it's not spam.

 

MGK, I don't know if it was in the formatting, but throughout the chapter there were words that were stuck together, likethis. Just thought you might like to know in case you want to go back and stick a space between them. :)

 

Ok, on to chapter two.

First of All Thank You for the review...

 

I know suicide is not an option but it just came out like that. If you wanna Know just go to my blog 'Making of Suicide note'...

 

Thank you for totally understanding Davy in all ways. And its definitely not the spam, otherwise Davy won't get the Hope of Prove something...

 

Formatting is totally My Mistake, because I used a mobile to update. I think I had cleared that problem, if not I'll check once again... :)

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