Love in Chains - 1. Chapter 1

The boy was numb. There had been pain. In his wrists, his arms, his shoulders, everywhere. He remembered it... but it was gone now, long gone and all that was left was a creeping numbness that was beginning to seep into his head.

It had been easier when he could stand but his legs had given way some time ago, buckling at the knees and all of his weight was now hanging from his wrists which were shackled and threaded onto a hook in the ceiling above. At first the pain had been intense, but now it was gone, it was all gone.

He hadn’t cried at the pain. He hadn’t made a sound. He had made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t and so far he had kept it.

It was dark in his world, dark and cold. He was shivering but he didn’t feel cold, not any more. The darkness had been oppressive at first, mainly because it came from a silk hood that covered his head and rested on his shoulders, effectively shutting him off from the outside world in a cloying, stifling world of his own. It was hard to breathe as there were no holes in the cloth and it was tucked into the collar that encircled his neck.

The collar was chafing and sweat pooled under it and ran down his chest and back. It was partially choking him now that he couldn’t hold his head up any more... maybe that was why the darkness in his head was growing so thick.

He didn’t know if his eyes were open or closed. He didn’t mind either way, it was an irrelevancy when it was impossible to see anyway. He could hear well enough... or at least he had been able to until... until... The sound of his heart was very loud in his head as was his breathing which was harsh and rasping. Both were getting slower now, slower and more distant.

At least the pain was gone... well almost. His arms and shoulders were numb but there were still other pains. His back, for example, had lost the initial sharp, stinging pain from the kiss of the lash and had faded to a dull ache as had his buttocks from the paddling but there was a nagging, insistent pain in his rear end that he really didn’t want to think about.

Something was trickling down his back, over his buttocks, down between his legs. It could have been sweat, it could have been blood, it could have been many things. He didn’t want to think about that either.

The pounding throb inside his head was drowning out the other sounds, the sounds from the room around him; moans and cries, the slick slapping of flesh on flesh, the harsher slap of wood, metal and leather. Somewhere someone was crying, someone was screaming, someone was begging. There was a smell of sweat and blood which permeated through the silk screen that covered his face and into the darkness that swirled inside him, sucking him down.

It occurred to him that he was going to pass out but by this point he didn’t really care. Once he had prayed for it... when they were whipping him, when his arms were screaming, when they... the thought made his buttocks clench and pain shot through his guts, shocking the darkness away. He bit his lip to stifle a moan. A promise was a promise after all.

His body had risen with the pain, unconsciously and painfully and his arms were screaming again, bringing tears to his eyes, which he blinked away impatiently. He was NOT going to cry. With a sickening wrench to his guts and his shoulders his trembling legs gave way again making his body swing slightly and bringing the darkness crowding back into his mind, dulling his thoughts and numbing his body again. Sweet oblivion.

At least they were leaving him alone now. From what he had seen before they put the mask on he was getting away lightly. There was a long low moan from somewhere behind him followed by a series of gasping groans that were accompanied by harsh guttural laughter and a voice urging... ‘Harder... harder... harder... he can take it... make him bleed... make him beg.’ The voice was gleeful and the boy was glad they weren’t talking about him... not any more.

Trying to swallow was agony, the collar was too tight, it was cutting into him and constricting his throat. He tried anyway and gagged, struggling for a moment afraid he was going to choke. For a short while his heartbeat speeded up and thudded painfully in his chest and in his head but then it slowed again and he began to sink in earnest. Briefly he struggled against it, afraid, truly afraid that this time he was going to die, but there was no energy left for fighting, nothing he could do but wonder briefly why... why... why?

“Adam! What the fuck did you think you were doing? For the Love of God be careful. Shit! Shit Adam...what have you done?”

The voice stabbed into his battered consciousness, not quite enough to bring him to the surface but enough to bring other things into sharper focus. Like the fact that there were bodies close, the smell of perfume and sweat, the touch of a hand on his back. It hurt, but not much, not enough to shock him back awake. He began to sink again.

“Shut up Miriam. He’s alright. He’s fine. It was his choice you know.”

“Not this Adam. Fuck what have you done to him?”

“Get the fuck out of here Miriam. No one invited you to the party.”

“Adam... Just get him down.”

“He’s fine Miriam. I told you...”

The voices faded out.

A strange sensation caught his attention, one he could not at first recognise. It wasn’t until his head came to rest on the shoulder of whoever was behind him that he realised it had been moving. He hissed as hands tugged the cloth free of the collar and then his closed eyes were flooded with light. Sucking in a deep breath of clear air he shuddered and gasped, choking again as the collar bit into his throat.

There were voices again but they were just buzzing in his head. He could hear them but not make out what they were saying. Whoever was standing behind him ran their hands down over his buttocks, and he had the feeling that somehow they were hiding the movement. Fingers probed between his butt cheeks and there was a tugging sensation followed by a ripping, tearing pain that made his body convulse and jerk, almost knocking over the person who was holding him and bringing the pain in his arms back to screaming life.

As he spiralled into the darkness he heard someone screaming... ‘Get him down... for God’s sake Adam... get him down. You’re going to kill him.”... and then there was nothing.

“Nye... Nye, are you alright? Nye... speak to me. Say something. Nye... Oh fuck Adam, fuck what have you done?”

“Shut UP Miriam. I told you he’s okay.”

“How can you say that? He’s fucking unconscious Adam.”

“Will someone please get her the FUCK out of here? Who let her in anyway?”

“Lay a hand on me and I’ll have the police here faster than you can say ‘fuckwit’.”

The sounds washed over him as the bickering continued. It was entirely external to him, meaningless. The pain was, unfortunately not so meaningless now that it was beginning to make itself felt again.

With some surprise he realised that he was no longer upright. His arms were no longer stretched over his head and they were no longer bound. The pain was still there though, especially now that the numbness seemed to have gone. It was everywhere, crawling over his back, pounding into his shoulders, slicing through his abdomen, sending thousands of burning hot needles into his arms. Swallowing moans he tried to force his eyes open.

At first the light only added to the pain, stabbing into his eyes and burning his mind with it’s intensity after so long in the dark.

A face swam into view. ‘Wow’, he thought. The face was very beautiful. It was framed by longish black hair and held the most beautiful pair of deep blue eyes, familiar eyes, beloved eyes.

“Adam.” The word was strangled by the constriction in his throat and the confusion in his mind and came out as a croak but it got the beautiful man’s attention.

“Hey Nye. You ok babe? Look... I’m sorry. I got carried away. I think maybe I left you up there too long huh?”

The boy, Nye, couldn’t process the information and so he just stared blankly upwards, lost in the beauty, the sense of... rightness.

***

There are no words I could use to describe how shocked I was when I saw my brother lying naked and unconscious in the arms of that... monster. I had been shocked enough to find out from his room mate that he had finally given in and gone to the club with Adam. I knew he hadn’t wanted to but Adam had kept chipping away and there was never any doubt that he would give in...he always did.

When Lee rang me hours later to say that he was worried that Nye hadn’t got back yet I started to worry too... but it had still taken me three more hours to get up the courage to go and look for him.

The club was infamous. It was nondescript from the outside, fitting in with the other red brick buildings on the corner of a street that was full of clubs of various kinds... most of which would have, I believe, earned the term ‘seedy’. There were strip clubs and pole dancing clubs and then there was ‘The Club’.

My heart was pounding when I entered the door. It was filled with people dressed in leather and tattooed skin. They terrified me. Suspended above the booths and dance floors were cages in which young men and women writhed, sometimes alone, sometimes...not.

I went straight to the bar and asked for Adam. Everyone knew Adam and here was no exception, he was the boss after all, the owner. The bored looking bar tender looked me up and down, gave me a feral grin and told me that he had taken the ‘new meat’ to the dungeon. I shuddered. ‘New meat’? Was that Nye?

I really didn’t want to go to the dungeon and I was incredibly naive, after seeing what was upstairs, to not expect what was waiting for me downstairs. I tried not to look at the writhing bodies, the whips, the chains, the... implements. The smell of sweat and blood was overpowering and I was almost sick... but Nye was in there somewhere.

I didn’t know where to start. Most of the ‘participants’ wore hoods or masks of various kinds. It was his paleness that attracted my attention. We are all pale, the whole family, with ash blonde hair and skin that does not take kindly to the kiss of the sun. We are all tall, all willowy and all beautiful... it is a curse and none of us suffered more because of it than Nye.

My feet dragged me across the floor, feeling sick to my stomach. I was sure it was him even though I couldn’t see his face. Seeing the curling tattoo that caressed his hip and licked at the silvery hair at the base of his flaccid penis was merely confirmation, but as soon as I saw it I flipped and started freaking out.

Even so I was not as shocked then as I was after they had taken him down and removed the hood. He was naked apart from a thick, studded leather collar around his neck and similar cuffs on his wrists and ankles, which had been linked with silver chains. The chains were gone now but he still seemed bound.

He was unconscious and bleeding and that monster Adam was kneeling on the floor holding him in his arms as if he cared. Nye’s beautiful pale blonde hair was darkened by sweat and blood and plastered to his head and shoulders. He had always been slender but he had lost weight since I last saw him and he looked like a wraith, a living wraith... and only barely so.

I couldn’t believe that Adam was being so calm, so blasé about the whole thing. He had a huge grin on his face and the circle of gawping freaks, most of whom had removed their hoods to better enjoy the drama looked hungry and feral. At least someone had turned the lights on; the red tinted gloom I had walked into had given the place the feel of the deepest circles of hell... I suppose that was the intention.

Relief flooded me when Nye opened his eyes but it was short lived because he didn’t look as though he had any idea where he was. He had always been a bit heavy on the eye make up and it had run, making it look as if he was weeping black blood. Above this the clear emerald green of his eyes was diminished by the enormously dilated pupils. He was all black and white and red.

Adam smiled at him with a parody of concern on his face and I wanted to hit him, to pound on his face until it wasn’t beautiful any more. His eyes flicked up at me and he grinned, almost as if he had read my mind. He knew I wouldn’t try anything. Not that I was afraid of him, oh no, not any more, not of any of them; the protectiveness I felt about my brother went far deeper than fear ever could... but I knew that if I tried to hurt him then I would hurt Nye and he looked as if he really couldn’t take being hurt any more.

Nye shuddered and his body started to shake. He raised one arm, as if it was almost too heavy for him to lift, and draped it over Adam’s shoulder turning in his arms to bury his face in his chest. Adam tightened his hold, pulling him in to his body.

The sight of my baby brother in Adam’s arms sickened me. Oh not because I had any problem with the fact that Nye was gay, that was something I had always known. It was as much a part of him as the colour of his eyes or the sound of his voice. No, it was partly because of the fact that I hated Adam so much, that I could see the monster he truly was even if my brother was not able to; and partly because then I could clearly see his back... the angry wheals and long ragged slashes oozing blood.

“Nye.” I couldn’t keep silent any longer and I crouched down, touching his shoulder gently. Adam tightened his hold possessively and Nye could not have pulled away if he had wanted to.

Forcing myself to keep my voice calm and the accusation out of it I looked Adam directly in the eyes. “He’s freezing Adam. Can’t we at least get him somewhere warm and private?”

“Stop babying him Miriam. He’s not a child any more. Are you Nye?”

Adam relaxed his hold enough to allow my brother to half turn and look up at me. “Miriam?”

“Tell your sister you’re alright, babe. Tell her you don’t need her mothering and that I’m taking care of you just fine.”

“I...” He still looked less than half conscious, his eyes wide and dazed. He looked from me to Adam, deeply confused, not knowing what was expected of him.

“Tell her Nye.” There was a note in his voice that chilled me, but Nye didn’t seem to notice.

“What?”

“Tell her you’re fine with me and she should go.”

“I... I’m not sure...” He shuddered again, his jaw clenching. I knew he was in pain and refusing to admit it. He was stubborn. He had always been stubborn; stubborn and proud.

“Nye.” He looked at me again, slightly less dazed but more confused. “You’re cold darling, very cold. Don’t you want to get out of here, to get warm?”

He looked around and his eyes widened again; he shuddered, seeming to come to himself, to realise where he was and the condition he was in.

“Fuck!”

He jerked out of Adam’s arms, sitting up too suddenly and immediately slumped back over Adam’s knees barely conscious again.

“Adam, stop being so stubborn and think of Nye. You are supposed to love him, remember?”

Adam’s eyes narrowed and he gave me a look which hinted that retribution would be swift and final. I smiled and shrugged, like I cared if he threatened me, as long as he took care of Nye.

“Of course. It’s not as if I wasn’t going to anyway. I just didn’t want to embarrass Nye in front of our friends, who will now think he is tied to his sister’s apron strings.”

“Whatever.”

Adam did not so much climb to his feet as unfold upwards dragging Nye up with him. He couldn’t stand and after a few minutes trying to get him to support his own weight Adam gave a sigh of irritation and swept him up in his arms. He gave me a look of pure venom and hissed.

“Go upstairs and get a drink. Clearly you can’t trust me to take care of this so I’ll bring him up when he’s dressed. You’d better get a stiff one in for me too, you owe me.”

“I owe you nothing Adam and neither does my brother.”

I was not happy about Adam taking Nye off again but the realities of where I was and what had happened were beginning to dawn on me and I took a look around and decided that, as intimidating as the bar was, it was nothing compared to this hellish place. I didn’t feel safe and I didn’t want to be here a moment longer.

I was sorely tempted to knock back a strong shot of something extremely alcoholic but I had no desire to have to walk out of this district, given that it was, by now almost six and the traditional transition time of day life to night life would be beginning very soon. I shuddered at the thought of encountering those who frequented these parts at night, the ones who came here during the day were bad enough.

Therefore I ordered a red wine to steady my nerves and then begrudgingly ordered two double brandies. Nye would need one and, if I didn’t get Adam one too he would only take Nye’s from him.

As I waited I thought back over the last six months and shuddered at the thought of how much my brother had changed. He really did have terrible taste in men... and this time he had surpassed himself.

Nye had never been what one might call lucky in love. He had never made a mistake as bad as this though. I had never liked Adam, not from the first moment I met him. He made me uneasy although at the time I didn’t know why. He was older, a lot older, but it wasn't that, it was the way he looked at me, the way he looked at Nye, as if he was a possession. There had never been love in his eyes, only, sometimes a parody of it that fooled Nye but not me, never me.

Slowly, over the past six months Adam had drawn Nye away from his family and friends. No one saw him any more, not even Lee, his room mate. He was hardly ever home; staying over with Adam more and more frequently. And he was changing.

Nye had never been particularly gregarious but he had always been surrounded by friends and family. He was a happy boy, spending a lot of his time in a world of his own it was true, but it was a happy world, at least it had been. He was a talented writer who could reduce people to tears of joy or sorrow within half a page, could make you think deeply of matters never before thought of, could play emotions like a musician plays his instrument, plucking the heart strings then soothing them to pluck them again in a different chord.

He was at university now, finishing his final year... or at least he had been. From what I could gather he hadn’t been near the place in weeks and was in danger of failing what had looked to be a first class degree. Everyone was worried about him, everyone had tried to talk to him but it was all to no avail. It was as if Adam had cast a spell over him and he listened to no one but him now.

I had been at my wits end for some time, almost from the very first time I heard Adam’s name. It was killing me to watch the bright flame that had been my brother dwindling and growing dark. He had been so strong, so full of life. He was a fighter, a campaigner, a fearless warrior for justice. And now...

I sighed and twirled my glass between my fingers, waiting.

I waited for almost half an hour and was fighting the urge to storm back down and drag him out by force if I had to. And then I saw them. They emerged from the dark passage that housed the stairs down to the ‘dungeon’. I was glad that, at least they had got dressed. They walked close together and, as they drew near I could see that Adam had his arm around Nye’s waist. Whether it was to support him or convey a message I didn’t know, although I guessed it was both.

They threaded their way through the crowds and tables, pausing now and again to speak to someone or other. I noticed that it was always Adam who did the talking. Occasionally Nye smiled briefly and added a word or two before lifting his head again to stare vacantly into the distance.

Every eye in the room was on them as they moved. They made a striking pair. Both of them were tall, slender and graceful, Adam as dark as Nye was fair and they were both beautiful, but in very different ways. Adam was sophisticated, slick, dressed in designer labels from head to foot and, at least on the surface was the epitome of the successful business man. His skin was always tanned no matter what time of the year and the words best used to describe him would have been ‘well groomed’, except to me... to me the word was sleazy.

Nye on the other hand was wild, his platinum blonde hair reached almost to his waist and, although it was usually sleek and smooth it was fine and almost seemed to float out from his head so that it gave the impression he was walking in a breeze. He was usually dressed in black leather and white linen and he wore make up. He was not groomed, he was not slick... he was elemental, truly and astonishingly beautiful.

It seemed to me that Adam was taking perverse pleasure in taking as long as possible to get to me but I don’t know if that was really the case.

Finally they were there. Adam released Nye and he slid into the booth, across the table from me and sat, head down, silent. I wondered if he was embarrassed. He had taken a shower and I was glad for that. His hair was still damp, standing out around his head like the mane of a snow lion. He rested his hands and forearms on the table in front of him and I could see they were still shaking. Adam artfully threw himself into the chair, his long legs stretched out, reaching for the glass.

“Are you alright?”

Nye looked up. He had re applied his make up and it made him look better, hiding the shadows, but I could still see them, they were there in his eyes.

“Yes.”

“See, I told you.” Adam’s voice was like rich chocolate but it was chocolate laced with poison and I wanted to grab him by the throat and choke him until the voice and its owner died. I ignored him.

“What were you thinking? How could you come here? Did he make you? Did he force you to go to that awful place?”

“No.” The reaction was instant and scornful. Nye’s lip curled and for a moment there was a light in his eyes. “I wanted to come. I wanted to see for myself.”

“And now you’ve seen? Will you come again?”

His eyes flicked to Adam who simply watched him, impassive. He bowed his head. “Maybe.”

“Oh Gods Nye, you’re a fool.”

“Whatever.” He sounded exhausted and I wanted to reach out to him but, with Adam there that was impossible.

“Drink your brandy.” I sounded tetchy, defeated. They both knew I would never raise the subject again, not with them, not with anyone. I wanted to shout at him, to tell him how appalled I was, how angry, how frightened; to tell him how ridiculous it had been, how dangerous. I wanted to, but I didn’t, I wouldn’t, because I knew that if I did it would drive Nye away even faster than he was already being stolen from me.

Nye looked up and smiled. It was a pale smile but a smile and therefore precious.

“Thanks Mir.”

I smiled back, pouring everything I felt for him, everything we had ever been through together, everything we meant to each other, into the one look, and covered his hand with mine. He did not pull away. He was very cold.

“You were very brave.” Adam’s rich voice cut into our moment and ended it instantly. He too reached out to Nye and touched with one finger the angry band around his wrist, visible between the cuff of his leather jacket and the fingerless glove he wore on that hand. It was still slightly oozing blood.

Nye’s smile for him was not pale, it was blinding and envy stabbed me like a knife. I pushed it angrily aside. There was no room for that; it would only make things worse.

“Some of it was good.”

“I’m sorry Nye. I really am sorry. I... got carried away. I should never have left you there for so long.”

“You should never have left him there at all.”

Nye flashed me a ‘look’ and opened his mouth to speak but, surprisingly Adam cut in.

“No, she’s right Nye. She’s absolutely right. I promised you that I would take care of you, that I would be with you every step and I wasn’t. She’s right to be angry. I failed you and I’m sorry about that. You will never know how sorry I am. I should never have let you talk me into bringing you. I thought you were ready but you weren’t, you’re nowhere near it.”

“But I am. I am ready. Please Adam, please give me another chance.” He was more animated than I had seen him for a long time, his eyes fever bright, pleading with his lover.

“We’ll see. In time.”

“Adam please... it was my fault, all my fault. I should have told you, I should have called out. You told me to but I was stubborn. I was just too stubborn. I won’t do that again I promise. Give me another chance. Please.”

“We’ll see. Rest for a few days, get your strength back and we’ll see.”

“I won’t let you down again Adam, I promise.”

I could see what Adam was doing. I could see it as plain as I could see the glass of brandy that he knocked back in one swallow, flashing me a look of triumph as he slammed it back down on the table. I could see it but I was helpless to stop it. There is nothing I could have said that would have made Nye see it and, in fact anything I said would only have made it worse.

“Drink your drink, it’s time to go. There’s no point trying to have any fun tonight, you would only flake out half way through it.”

Nye flinched as though he had hit him, although the tone of his voice was superficially playful. I wondered, not for the first time, whether he had actually hit him. I wouldn’t have been surprised, not at all.

Swallowing his brandy Nye gave me an apologetic look and smoothed his hands on his trousers, tugging the cuffs of his jacket down to hide the livid red marks on his wrists. Just as they were about to leave someone appeared at Adam’s shoulder and bent to murmur something in his ear. His face went dark and he glanced over at Nye then he nodded once and waved a hand, dismissing the man.

“There’s something I have to take care of. I won’t be long. Try not to pass out before I get back.” Again the tone was light but there was a dark undercurrent that made Nye flinch. He bowed his head, nodding.

At last we were alone, but do you think I could think of one single thing to say to him?

“You haven’t been around in a while.”

“I’ve been busy.”

“With what? Lee says you haven’t been to classes for weeks; that you’ve barely been home.”

“Since when has Lee been my nursemaid?” He sounded annoyed, even angry but he didn’t have the energy to sustain it.

“Lee’s just worried about you, that’s all. He knows how hard you worked and he’s concerned that you are going to throw it all away and end up failing.”

“I won’t fail. I’ve already turned in my final examination projects.”

“You have?”

“Yes.”

“Then there’s no reason for you not to come visit. We miss you. Mam doesn’t say much, you know she never would, but she misses you, we all do. The boys are on about you all the time.”

He remained silent, twirling the empty glass between long slender fingers. I was struggling. I had to find a way to reach him... something... and I didn’t have much time.

“I was talking to Kane the other day. He was asking about you.”

That got his attention, but all he said was, “Oh?”

“What happened to you two? You used to be so close. Sometimes it seemed that he was at our house more than he was at his own.”

Nye smiled but it died swiftly. “He doesn’t like Adam.”

I bit back a retort. I wasn’t surprised. Kane was Nye’s best friend, for a long time we were all convinced it was more than that but if it was they never showed it. Kane was cut from the same cloth as Nye; tall, willowy, fair... although in the tanned, gold blonde, blue eyed way... not pale and fey like Nye. He was a lot more outgoing too, American by birth and with a cocky attitude and cute accent he had always been popular with girls and boys alike.

They complimented each other perfectly. Nye kept Kane level, curbing some of his wildness, calming his fiery temper and somewhat extreme views on life and everything. In turn Kane brought Nye out of himself, ignoring his shy nature and dragging him along on adventures, giving him experiences he never otherwise would have had.

For the best part of fifteen years they had been inseparable, even after they went to different universities... until Adam. No wonder Kane hated Adam... he was an excellent judge of character.

“Is he... okay?”

“He’s fine. He’s just come back from visiting relatives in California and he’s tanned and glowing.”

“Is he... is he...?”

“Is he what?”

Nye shook his head. “Never mind.”

“He’s not with anyone. In fact he made a point of mentioning it. He seemed rather sad actually.” Nye looked up at me sharply and something flared behind his eyes. For a moment I held my breath, my heart pounding with hope.

“Tell him... tell him...” He shook his head. “Never mind.”

“Nye, are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

He frowned. “I don’t know what you mean.”

I didn’t say anything but reached out my hand and touched his wrist. He shivered and tugged his hand away, pulling down the sleeve to cover it. He sat back in the seat wrapping his arms around himself. He looked like a lost boy... he was.

As an awkward silence fell I cast around for something to say to break it.

“You’ve lost weight.”

“Have I?”

“You know you have. Aren’t you eating?”

“Adam’s a great cook.” The arms tightened. He was on the defensive and my hope crumbled to dust.

“I’m sure he is. That’s not what I asked.”

“I’m eating alright.”

“Are you ill then? Is there something we should know?”

He looked up, annoyed again. “I’m a big boy now Mir, not a child. I’m twenty one and I can look after myself. I’m not ill and I’m not failing my course and I’m not doing anything wrong. Why are you always so critical of me these days? And you wonder why I don’t come to visit.”

“I’m not critical Nye. I just love you. You used to tell me everything. You used to...”

“I used to be a child. Now I am a man, a man with a life of his own and the right to live it as I please.”

I was taken aback. That didn’t sound like Nye, it didn’t sound like him at all.

“Of course you are. Of course you do. But that doesn’t mean you have to shut us out of your life.”

“I know. I’m not.” He was back to his confused lost self and I was left with a terrible certainty that his isolation was deliberate, as was the change in him. Adam was doing more than influencing him; he was manipulating and controlling him. But what could I do about it? The more I tried to get him away from Adam the more Adam would dig his claws in and the more chance there was that Nye would get hurt. And there was no way, no way at all that Nye would listen to me if I tried to tell him.

“Come and visit us Nye, please. Just now and again. And contact Kane. He misses you more than we do.”

“I will. I promise.”

“Soon?”

“Maybe.”

“Promise me Nye... please. Promise me you will come soon.”

He gave me a long cool stare, but I could see there was a lot going on behind and beneath. He was fighting with himself and it scared me. Why would he have to struggle with the idea of visiting his family now and again or catching up with old friends? I knew why.

Finally he nodded and smiled, the first genuine, warm smile he had given me. “Alright. I promise. Soon.”

“Promise what?” Nye jumped as Adam flopped down into the chair, he looked guilty.

“I... I... Just to keep in touch with my family, that’s all.”

“Really? Well, I’ve never stopped you. Haven’t I always told you that I’d take you whenever you like?”

Now wasn’t that a telling statement?

“Of course you haven’t... stopped me I mean. It’s just... I’ve been so busy.”

“And you’re going to be busier. We’ve had a problem with one of our employees and we’re going to have to let him go. Until we can find someone to replace him it would be very helpful to me if you would take some shifts behind the bar.”

Nye looked uncertain and plucked at a loose thread on his jacket. “I... I don’t know. You know I don’t like working behind the bar...not here. It scares me.”

Adam leaned across the table and stroked Nye’s cheek. The action and Nye’s reaction made me squirm.

“Baby... what have I told you about facing up to your fears? You are such a little mouse, so fearful of everything. You have to be strong, to be brave... remember what we have been talking about? You’re too soft, too fearful, too gentle and shy. It isn’t that I don’t love that in you but you’re just not safe being that way. You need to toughen up a bit, especially if you ever want to be fit for the dungeon. You said you wanted another chance, well this is it. Do a good job upstairs and I’ll let you come play downstairs.”

Nye lit up like a candle and grinned at him, his eyes glowing. “I won’t let you down.”

Adam leaned closer and kissed him. Nye melted. “I know you won’t.”

I hated him then. I hated him with every fibre of my being and I was afraid. I was going to lose Nye. I was going to lose my brother, one way or another and there wasn’t a single thing I could do to stop it. I felt sick.

Lifting his head and stroking his cheek on Nye’s hair to make sure his face was turned away from me Adam smiled. It was the smile of a big cat who was about to feed on its prey. I snarled at him but it only made the smile widen. He knew I was helpless. He knew Nye was his. He knew he had won. I hated him.