Holding Back - 15. Chapter 15

Wade could punch himself in the face. It wouldn’t be the first time. He wasn’t going to do this, wasn’t going to ask for anything. It might freak Peter out or he’s not ready for it or this will otherwise ruin a good thing.

But Peter kisses him fiercely, and tells him he’ll do it, and Wade feels conflicted. He wonders if he should take it back, if Peter now feels pressured into something he doesn’t really want to do. Because if that’s the case, he hates himself.

Ever occur to you that Peter might want this as much as we do, Wilson?

What’s up with you worrying about the consequences so much all of a sudden?

‘Wait here,’ Peter murmurs against Wade’s lips. ‘Lube’s in the bathroom.’ He gets up and shimmies out of the room, and Wade’s left on the bed, flaccid cock hanging out.

No! What if he changes his mind?

Dude, why would he even have lube if he hadn’t been thinking about this? Straight dudes don’t need lube.

Unless they’re kinky.

Petey isn’t kinky.

As far as we know . . .

‘This is a bad idea,’ Wade moans out loud. ‘If we’re fucking, I’ll have to get naked and then he’ll see . . . well, everything. What if it grosses him out? It would gross me out . . .’

Yup. Instant mood killer.

But he’s seen our body before.

Yeah, but only parts of it, never all of it at once.

‘I’m so stupid!’ Wade covers his eyes with his hands. ‘Stupid, stupid, stupid . . .’

‘Hey.’ Peter must have moved so silently Wade didn’t even hear him come in. Now he covers Wade’s hands with his own and pulls them away from his eyes. ‘Wade. You okay?’ The look on his face is filled with concern, and Wade hates himself even more.

‘Yeah, I’m fine!’ he says, voice higher than usual, and forces himself to grin. ‘A-okay, baby boy!’

Peter sits back on his haunches, arms crossed and one eyebrow raised. ‘If you’re having second thoughts about this, just tell me. We don’t have to do this now if you don’t want to.’

Wade hesitates.

Don’t be an idiot, Wilson! We’re finally about to get some! Don’t screw this up!

Wade lets out a breath. ‘It’s not that. It’s really not that. I . . . I want this, believe me. I’ve wanted it since . . . Well. A good long while. I just . . . I mean, do you want this?’

Peter laughs. It’s not a cruel or derisive laugh. It’s a kind laugh that brightens up his face with relief and mirth. ‘Are you kidding? Wade, I may not have been with a guy before, but I’m not exactly a virgin, or a prude.’ He leans down and brushes his lips softly against Wade’s. ‘I want this,’ he whispers. ‘I want you.’

Wade pushes himself up on his elbows and kisses Peter hard, because with all he’s done and everyone he’s been with, he can’t remember anyone ever saying that to him before. Then he pulls away, hesitant again.

‘I’ve . . . I’ve never done this before. Been on the receiving end, I mean. At least not that I can remember.’ If his skin would allow it, he would be blushing. But Peter just smiles.

‘I’ll go slow, then.’

Peter takes off his shirt and pants, leaving his boxers on. They’re purple, like the shirt he was wearing. It’s a good colour on him. Wade takes in his toned chest and stomach, and the well-defined bulge in his underwear. Any worries he had that Peter doesn’t actually want this die right then, because he’s clearly hard. Wade runs his hands up Peter’s strong arms and down his smooth torso, feeling the contours of lean muscles beneath his fingertips. Peter bites his lip and releases a low sound of pleasure when Wade’s rough fingers brush over his nipples. Then he touches the hem of Wade’s hoodie, and Wade holds his breath. Peter halts his movement.

‘If there’s any of this you’re uncomfortable with, anything you don’t want, or if you want me to stop, just tell me, okay?’

Wade gives a weak chuckle. ‘I’m just worried it’ll kill your hard-on.’

Peter laughs again. ‘Hasn’t so far, so what makes you think it will now?’

Keeping his big hazel eyes locked to Wade’s, he slowly pushes the hoodie up his torso. Wade shifts, sitting up enough that Peter can pull it off him before doing the same with the blue t-shirt he’s wearing underneath. He takes a moment to press several kisses to Wade’s collar bone and chest. The scarred skin doesn’t seem to bother him one bit. The warm softness of his lips makes Wade’s pulse rush a mile a minute, and he’s already getting hard again.

Thank you, healing factor that gives us the sexual stamina of a seventeen-year-old.

Peter moves on to Wade’s pants next, pulling them off him the rest of the way, along with the pink silk boxers (an impulse purchase he made a few days ago for shits and giggles, and also because he thought they were nice). Peter runs his palms up Wade’s scarred legs, and they’re so warm and smooth. Wade’s breath hitches slightly in his throat as Peter strokes the insides of his thighs.

‘Come here,’ Wade says hoarsely. Peter stretches out on top of him, his hardness digging into Wade’s hip bone through the cotton of his boxers, and Wade puts his arms around him, stroking his back. Then he finds Peter’s lips, kisses him with all he’s got and squeezes his firm ass until Peter is moaning and rutting against him. When they break apart, Peter is looking down at him, pupils blown wide in the dim light of the bedroom. He kisses Wade’s jaw, neck and collarbone, and moves his lips and hands down his body. Then he grabs a pillow and slides it under Wade’s ass.

Peter reaches for the lube bottle he brought back from the bathroom and settles himself between Wade’s legs. He squirts a generous amount onto his finger and begins the work of prepping him.

The initial touch tickles. The lube is cold, and Wade feels a shudder go through his body. Then Peter pushes his finger inside. Wade gasps at the intrusion.

‘You okay?’ asks Peter, not moving.

Wade nods, trying to steady his breathing and relax. ‘Yeah. Yeah, I’m good. Keep going.’

Peter does, and Wade throws his head back with a groan, squirming under his touch. Peter opens him up with long, nimble fingers, and it’s not at all like he hasn’t done this before. A few times he manages to curl his fingers just right, to push against Wade’s prostate, causing Wade to moan loudly and his cock to go rock hard again.

‘That healing factor’s handy, isn’t it?’ Peter says huskily when he notices. ‘You reload quick.’ When he seems to deem Wade prepped enough, he pulls his fingers out and reaches for the drawer in the nightstand, pulling out a condom.

Wade swallows. ‘You probably don’t need that, you know,’ says Wade softly. ‘I mean, I can’t get diseases, so I can’t infect you either, and . . . I mean, unless you want to wear one, that’s cool. You can decide . . . Shut up, Wilson!’ he mutters, feeling way more awkward and embarrassed than he thinks he should.

Peter drops the condom on the nightstand and smiles sheepishly. ‘Force of habit. I didn’t even think about that . . .’

Wade watches in anticipation as Peter pulls off his purple boxers to reveal his dick, and is once again struck by how beautiful he is, his proportions and angles, the tufts of dark hair trailing from his belly button down to his manhood. Wade exhales slowly, trying to calm his frantic heart.

Peter lubes himself up, and then positions himself before pushing inside.

The pressure is amazing. A little painful, and so, so good. Peter stops every once in a while, to make sure Wade’s okay, moving inside inch by inch. Then, with one fluid roll of his hips, he sinks in to the hilt, and they both gasp simultaneously, and then laugh.

‘You okay?’ Peter asks for what must be the millionth time, and strokes Wade’s cheek with the backs of his fingers. Wade takes his hand and squeezes it.

‘Yeah. I’m good.’

Peter smiles, a mischievous glint in his eye. ‘Yeah, you are.’ Then he pulls out a little and thrusts back in with a groan, biting his lip. ‘Oh, my God . . . So good!’

They go slow for a while, getting used to each other. Wade is almost surprised at how much he’s enjoying this. Getting fucked by Spider-Man has been a long time fantasy, but he’s never actually taken the time to consider whether or not he would actually like being on the receiving end of anal sex. Now that he is, he wonders how he’s managed to forego it for so long, because this is pretty fucking awesome.

He moves his hips in time with Peter, pushing back against his thrusts. He looks up at his face, his closed eyes, the pink tint in his cheeks and the sweat on his brow, and thinks that there is nowhere he would rather be right now. This moment is perfect.

‘Shit, Peter,’ he murmurs when Peter opens his eyes again. ‘You’re so fucking beautiful.’ He slides his palms down Peter’s back and cups his ass. ‘What are you doing here with me? How the fuck did I get this lucky?’

Peter gives a hard thrust in and holds still. Wade thinks he can feel him pulsing inside him. ‘I’m here because I want to be,’ he says softly. ‘I’m here because I want you.’ He lowers his body down until their torsos are flush together and his weight rests on Wade, and delivers a wet, passionate kiss to his lips. Then he says, ‘Now, is there anything in particular you’d like me to do?’

Wade licks his lips and laughs softly. ‘Fuck, baby boy . . . You asking?’

‘I’m asking. Tell me what you want.’

Wade lets go of Peter’s ass. He finds his hands on either side of his torso and entwines their fingers. ‘Well, in that case,’ he whispers, and he’s somehow no longer nervous, meeting Peter’s eyes, ‘I’d like you to hold me down and fuck me into the mattress.’

Peter smirks. Squeezing Wade’s hands, he puts his full weight on them and raises himself up. He pulls almost all the way out, and then thrusts back in, hard. ‘Like this?’ he gasps.

Wade nods through a groan, because he doesn’t trust himself to speak.

‘And this?’ Peter repeats the movement, putting yet more force behind it.

‘Fuck! Yes . . .’ Wade whimpers. ‘God, yes! Please! Don’t . . . Don’t hold back!’

‘I dunno if you’ve noticed,’ says Peter, thrusting in again, ‘but I am really strong.’

‘I dunno if you’ve noticed,’ Wade repeats, ‘but I can take it.’

Peter stills, and seems to study Wade’s face intently. ‘You sure about this?’

Wade gazes up at him, taking a few steadying breaths. ‘Fuck yeah.’

Peter nods once. ‘Okay.’

The next few minutes are a blur of sensation. Wade feels like his entire body is aflame, and soon he can’t keep quiet, every thrust eliciting a moan or gasp or shout. Peter is fucking into him with abandon, his eyes shut tight and his thrusts accompanied by heavy breaths.

‘Shit, Wade,’ he gasps, forgetting not to swear, ‘you feel so good! So tight and beautiful for me, God . . . I’m not gonna be able to keep this up for much longer.’ He meets Wade’s eyes and the look on his sweaty face is wild. ‘You wanna cum?’ he asks, voice rough and husky.

Wade can do nothing but nod, and Peter lets go of one of his hands, reaching in between them and taking hold of Wade’s dick.

‘Then cum for me,’ he whispers, giving a few rough strokes, and Wade does so with a loud groan. Peter doesn’t stop, fucks him through it, and then his movements become erratic, his hips bucking wildly, and he shouts and collapses on Wade’s sticky chest.

Wade puts his arms around Peter and hugs him tight. He strokes his sweaty hair back with his fingers and when Peter finally lifts his head to look at him, kisses him gently on the lips.

‘That,’ Wade declares in a low rumble, ‘was awesome!’

Peter chuckles and buries his nose in the crook of Wade’s neck with a sigh. ‘Yeah, that was pretty good,’ he agrees. He draws a few deep breaths, tickling Wade’s marred skin when he exhales, and props himself up on his elbow. He smiles gently down at Wade and trails his fingers along his jawline. ‘You feeling okay?’

Wade laughs. ‘What, awesome not good enough for you? I feel great, honey-buns.’ He shifts a little. Peter’s still inside him and both their stomachs are sticky with Wade’s cum.

Peter seems to have noticed that as well. ‘You want a shower? There are fresh towels under the sink.’

‘Sure, a shower sounds nice,’ Wade admits. Then, ‘You could come with me, you know.’

‘Yeah?’ Peter smiles and kisses Wade’s cheek. ‘Sure, I’ll come with.’

They disentangle from each other and Peter pulls out of him. Wade feels oddly empty with him gone. They walk naked, hand in hand, to the bathroom, and Wade feels too blissfully happy to even notice the stark contrast of his own scarred, red tinged skin next to Peter’s flawless alabaster complexion. They clean each other up and make out under the stream of hot water. Then they go back to bed (‘Don’t worry about the cum-stains, I’ll just change the sheets tomorrow,’ Peter assures him) and slip under the covers naked, curling up in each other’s arms.

Before sleep claims them both, Peter kisses Wade softly on the lips and whispers, ‘Good night.’

‘Good night, baby boy,’ Wade replies in a tired murmur, and before he knows it, he’s fast asleep.