Out of His Mind - 4. Sean

Chapter 4

Sean

After a successful shopping trip and lunch, Phil and Tait returned home. Phil said he was going to do a little at-home office work, and Tait decided to rest for a couple of hours; he had to digest what Philip told him over their burgers and onion rings.

Sean was out of jail, and in the house – their house! It was all Tait could think about. Phil had explained that Sean made bail with the help of his crack legal team, and would be out until the time the assault case came to court. He’d said that Sean had certain bail conditions to follow.

It angered Tait that his ex was living there in the house that his money had purchased. Yes, he’d obviously been naïve, thinking that Sean and he would have no difficulties, but they hadn’t, not in the beginning. Yes, Sean had always been moody. He could be cruel in what he sometimes said, and the names he called Tait. Sean also never had qualms about belittling Tait in front of strangers, or even their friends. Tait justified the behavior to himself, saying that Sean was a sensitive artist and he just got carried away. Witnesses to Sean’s temper and cruel streak had a more difficult time accepting it.

He and Sean had always made up though, and Sean always said he was sorry. The make-up sex had been mind-blowing.

‘I was so stupid then, blind to what Sean actually was. Too in love with him, and later too beaten, to stop him.’

Should he have been told Sean was out of jail? Okay yes, he’d been in the hospital, but someone, Phil at least, should have told him. Tait shook his head. ‘Stop it. Phil couldn’t tell you while you were so fucked up. Dr. Appel would have freaked out, and well, so would I. Knowing he was out would have been the last straw for me at the time. I felt I was safe because I thought he was behind bars.’

Tait rolled onto his back and put his hands behind his head. ‘All this, what if, and if only, doesn’t do you any good, Tait. Phil does his best for you – and that’s all you need to remember. Sean is a manipulator, a user; he knew you had money and celebrity, and you let yourself be blinded by him. And you paid for it.’

As he lay in bed, in the darkened bedroom, Tait let his mind wander to the night he’d first met Sean O’Grady.

<<>*<>>

As Philip had become more successful, and moved to the Burbank Hills he often had parties in his beautiful home. He and Tait had stayed in touch and had become friends. So, Philip always invited Tait to his parties, and Tait went if he was available and in the right end of the country.

On this night, Tait showed up late, as always, preferring to arrive after parties were underway. Not that he wanted to make some grand entrance, but because he could sneak in more or less unnoticed. After hanging up his coat, the bar was where he stopped first.

The handsome bartender approached and smiled at Tait. “Good evening, sir.”

‘Very cute,’ Tait thought, as he admired the classic Californian guy – blonde, muscular and blue-eyed – he returned the smile, and eyed the name-tag on the ‘tender’s chest.

“Glen … good evening.”

The young bartender blushed and said quietly, “Sorry …. Can I ask or well … you’re that model right? Tait Adamsen?”

“Yes, that’s me.”

Nodding, the bartender said, “Wow, I heard you might be here. It’s nice to meet you. So, what can I get you?”

“Nice to meet you too. Is Mr. Lawrence stocking Jameson’s tonight, Glen?”

“Yes sir, he is. Can I get you one?”

“Please.”

Glen placed a glass on the bar. “Ice?”

Tait nodded, and when Glen poured a single, he said, “Top it up please Glen.”

“Yes sir.”

“Thank you.” Tait reached into the front pocket of his jeans, and pulled out some bills. He took a $50.00 out and put it into the tip jar. After one more smile at the handsome bartender, and a quick thought about picking him up at the end of the night, Tait turned and wandered off to find his host.

He found Phil talking with Jenna Lowery, who was a well-known cover artist. Her latest work was for a range of romance novels written for the LGBT community. He smiled as he approached the pair.

Philip opened his arms. “Tait! Finally. Will you ever arrive on time?”

“Unlikely, Phil.” Tait laughed and hugged Phil and then turned and smiled at Jenna. “How are you?”

The petit blond grinned at Tait and said, “I’m well, thank you. You’re looking fine as always, Tait.”

“Thank you. So are you. How is your son? He plays for the Kings, doesn’t he?” Tait asked.

“Brad is well too. Thanks for asking.” Jenna smiled. “He is still with the Kings and ...”

Applause from outside interrupted the conversation and Tait glanced at Philip, eyebrows raised.

“That’s my latest acquisition reading some of his poetry.”

“And does he have a name?” Tait asked.

“Sean O’Grady.”

“Is he Irish? Oh, he’s the guy you signed while on your trip to Ireland.”

“Yes, he is,” Phil answered.

Tait walked to the open patio door, and leaned against the frame. O’Grady was a handsome man, maybe just a little taller than himself.

“Introduce me, Philip?” Tait asked his friend.

“Tait, I don’t think he’s your type.”

Tait smiled. “What is my type, Phil?”

“Not drunks who reportedly assault people, T. Come on. Not this guy, okay? He’s bad news.” Phil had moved to Tait’s side and held onto his friend’s bicep.

“I’m a big boy, Phil.” Tait stared into Philip’s eyes. “But okay, you don’t have to. I can say hello all by myself.” He sipped his drink, gently shrugged out of Phil’s grip, and then moved onto the patio toward the small crowd by the pool.

Philip cursing inwardly, caught up with Tait. “Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

The crowd had started to disperse. They seemed happy with what they’d just heard. Sean O’Grady turned to greet Philip. “Your friends seemed to enjoy my impromptu reading.”

“That’s terrific, Sean. A little free reading is a good idea.”

Noticing Philip was not alone, O’Grady turned his attention to Tait. “I don’t think we’ve met, but I certainly think we ought to. I’m Sean O’Grady.” He put out his hand.

Tait smiled at O’Grady and quickly took in the bright blue eyes, fair skin and strawberry blonde hair as he reached out to shake the man’s hand. “Tait Adamsen. It’s nice to meet you.”

O’Grady held onto Tait’s hand a little bit longer than necessary and he gazed intently into Tait’s eyes. “I’ve seen you somewhere … on television I think.”

“You may have, I’ve got commercial out at the moment.”

“Ah, that’s likely it then.”

Tait found he liked O’Grady’s Irish lilt. ‘Sexy, but I’m not falling for it, at least not immediately,’ he thought.

Philip suddenly felt like a third wheel and simply walked back inside. His departure was not noticed by either Tait or O’Grady.

Sean grinned at Tait, then bent and rolled up the legs of his trousers. “Come on.” And he lowered himself on the side of the pool and put his feet in. “Feels wonderful, Tait. Come, and join me!”

Tait grinned, removed his shoes, rolled up his black Leonardo Amiello dress pants and sat beside Sean and enjoyed the cool water. “You’re right; this feels good.”

The party went on around them as they sat with their feet in the pool for an hour or so, drinking and talking. The pair leaned against each other, oblivious to all around them – they were in their own world. It was obvious to anyone who saw them.

Anyone included Phil, who watched the pair together. He was disappointed again, in himself mainly, and he was jealous of O’Grady if he was being honest.

As the party wound down, Tait and Sean stood drying off at the side of the pool. O’Grady was the drunker of the two. Phil observed from the patio door, and felt his heart sink ever farther as he watched Tait obviously enjoying the company of Sean O’Grady.

‘You need to find yourself someone, Phil. Either that or tell Tait how you feel. You can’t expect him to read your mind.’ Phil chastised himself. ‘He isn’t interested in you. Not like that anyway. You’re not rich or famous enough.’

Back at the side of the pool Tait unfurled his trouser legs and pulled on his shoes. Sean did the same but he over balanced a little. Tait grabbed Sean by the shoulders; they giggled together like little boys.

“Tait, I like you. Let me take you to lunch tomorrow,” Sean slurred.

“Well ….” Tait held onto Sean’s shoulder, propping him up a little bit.

“Come on. I don’t bite. It’s just lunch.”

Tait considered Sean’s request. ‘Well, it is just lunch.’

“Okay Sean, lunch would be lovely.”

Sean smiled at the younger man, thinking, ‘My God, he’s so damn hot. I’m sure he knows the who’s who in Los Angeles as well. He could be useful – and fun.’

“Wonderful, Tait. Can I pick you up tomorrow?”

“I’d like that.” Tait shared his address and phone number with Sean.

After Sean and the other guests left, Tait remained, as he often did, to have a last drink and chat with Phil.

They sat together poolside. Phil swirled the contents of his glass, and watched as the whiskey coated the sides. He glanced at Tait, and he sighed.

“What is it, Phil?” Tait heard the sigh and was concerned his friend didn’t really seem like his old self this evening.

“Hmm? Nothing, T. Just glad another of these is over.”

Tait chuckled. “Why have them? You don’t sound like you enjoy it.”

“Oh, it’s expected by my boss, is the real reason I guess. It’s good for new artists to get to know people. So when we have a couple of new people sign with us – I have a party.”

“Like Sean O’Grady, you mean?”

Philip groaned. “Yeah, like him.” He sipped his drink. Then he turned to face his friend and said with concern, “Tait, please be careful with him okay? He’s got a bad reputation and he’s been arrested for assault before, please – ”

“Oh, Phil, he seems okay, but I’ll watch myself. I promise.”

Philip silently and fervently hoped that was true.

The two men talked for another hour before Tait finally made his way home.

Tait didn’t keep a house in L.A. opting instead to live in a penthouse in The Century building. The condo was spacious, with three bedrooms, five bathrooms, a large sophisticated kitchen, formal dining room and an incredible great room with marble walls, and a full balcony. Several walls were full-height glass, and the floors were oak spread over two levels. In addition there was safe room and gated entry for extra security and privacy. Because of this, Tait left notice with the security guards that he was expecting Sean and to allow him entrance.

The guard called Tait to let him know his guest was on his way up. It was 11:00 a.m.

Tait met Sean at the door with a smile. “Hi. Come in. It’s good to see you.”

Sean stepped into the large condo; he took in the oak floors and marble, and glass walls. He turned back to Tait and said, “Nice place.”

“Thanks; come in. Would you like a drink?” Tait walked across the great room to the bar.

Sean watched Tait walk away – enjoying the lithe, toned body of his host. He was filled with lust and desire – he wanted so much more than just a drink, but he said, “Yes please, whiskey if you have it.”

Tait poured two glasses, added ice, and soda to his. He lifted the soda bottle and Sean shook his head, no.

“Let’s sit here,” Tait said, and indicated a grouping that contained two loveseats and two large chairs, all covered in soft peach-colored leather, and located near one of the glass walls. The view was wonderful.

Tait settled into a loveseat and placed the glasses onto the square glass coffee table. Then he invited Sean to join him by patting the seat next to him.

Sean sat beside Tait and put a hand on his thigh. Noting that Tait hadn’t flinched or moved, he squeezed gently. “This is cozy, Tait.”

Smiling, Tait handed Sean his drink. “I like it. I like you.” He covered Sean’s hand with his own.

Sean sipped his drink and put it on the table. He took Tait’s glass and placed it on the coffee table next to his own. He turned toward Tait, leaned into him and pressed his lips to those of his host. The kiss was electric and Sean pulled Tait closer.

Pleased, when Tait moaned softly and slipped his arms around him, Sean whispered, “You’re mine.”

Tait pulled out the embrace and eyed Sean. “Am I?”

Sean smiled disarmingly, and appeared sheepish. “Did I say that out loud?”

Nodding, Tait smiled. “Yes, you did. The kiss … it was nice, Sean. But I’m no one’s property.”

“No, of course you’re not, Tait. It was foolish of me.” Sean smiled. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I guess it’s kind of sweet.”

Sean grinned. “Please ignore my stupid ways, Tait. Why don’t we go to lunch?”

Tait offered Sean a half-smile. “I hope you don’t mind, but I sort of wanted to be alone with you. So I’ve had lunch catered.”

Sean’s eyes darkened, his voice was cold and tinged with anger when he said, “But I invited you out.”

Tait took Sean’s hand and kissed his cheek. “I know, but … well, I know it was wrong of me, but I just wanted it to be you and me. I should have asked you first, though; I realize that now. Forgive me?”

Brightening visibly, Sean smiled. “Well, I’ll forgive you this time. It was a very sweet thing to do. And well, I’d like to be alone with you too. I’m a very bad boy, in that I don’t like to share.”

The weather was beautiful, so they ate out on the large balcony. Lunch was freshly shucked oysters, duck confit salad, cavatelli with beef cheek ragù, chard, lemon, toasted hazelnuts and aged gouda. With this they drank champagne and a good pinot noir.

After lunch they talked and sipped wine until the sun began to set. They moved back to the loveseat in the Great Room where they’d sat earlier. Sean set his wine glass down, and shuffled around a little and contemplated Tait.

“That lunch was lovely, Tait. And I probably should go, but the truth is I don’t want to.”

“No?” Tait moved closer to Sean, and reached for his hand. “Well, I don’t want you to either.”

Sean stroked Tait’s cheek. “How about if I take you to dinner?”

“Oh, I’d like that!” Tait covered Sean’s hand with his own.

“Well, I don’t know this area well, so what places would you recommend?”

“Hmmm.” Tait smiled. “Somewhere casual?”

“Yes, I think that would be good. What about Mexican? It would be nice to try a more authentic place. The tacos in Ireland leave much to be desired.”

“Okay, I know just the place.” Tait led Sean to the door, handed him his jacket and slipped his own on.

<<>*<>>

They left the restaurant a little drunk on tequila, and wandered back to Tait’s place. Ensconced in the den, they sat together kissing, talking, laughing, and drinking.

Tait leaned against Sean’s chest, in his arms. “Sean, you know this sofa opens up.”

Sean giggled. “Opens up to what?”

“A bed, of course.”

“Oh, so you want to take me to bed, Tait?” Sean kissed Tait and held him tightly.

Tait’s mouth lingered on Sean’s and then drifted across his jaw to his neck, where Tait mumbled, “Mmm, maybe.”

“Only maybe? Well, I think you do, so let’s get up and open this thing up.”

Both men were a bit drunk, but they managed to pull open the sofa bed amidst fits of giggles. Once they crawled back on, they lay in each other’s arms until Sean got up and went to the washroom. On his return, Sean sat on the edge of the sofa bed and stroked Tait’s cheek.

Grabbing his hand, Tait kissed it and gently bit Sean’s forefinger. Moaning, Sean lay down and pulled Tait close. They kissed – the heat between them rising, until panting and hard, they broke apart. Each picked up their now-watery drinks and sipped.

Tait leered at Sean and smiled. “So, should we … um … undress?”

Sean shared a lopsided grin. “You ya be upset if I said no?

“Upset? No … maybe a little confused.”

“Don’t be.” Sean’s eyes were dark with desire, and he spoke slowly. “Tait, believe me, I will have you. Just not tonight.” He kissed Tait then, deeply. “Tonight, I just want this with you – just to be here holding you. Does that make sense?”

Tait considered Sean’s words, and then nodded. Not wanting to spoil the mood, Tait lay down, and Sean snuggled behind him, wrapping an arm around Tait possessively and they fell asleep.

<<>*<>>

Tait awoke, knowing he’d been dreaming – reliving life with Sean from the early days.

‘I was so stupid, so blind. I let myself fall for him, just ignored warning signs,’ he thought as he sat up. He stood and gazed out the patio door. With the flat of his hand he smacked the glass blocks, leaned his head against the cool glass, and said aloud, “But it was so fucking good then. I loved him, I ….”

“I hope you aren’t going to finish that sentence with, I still love him.” Phil stood in the bedroom doorway, holding a steaming mug.

The odor of milky coffee drifted through the room. Tait turned to face Phil and he shook his head.

“No … no Phil, he beat that out of me. I don’t love him anymore.”