Confide/ant - 4. Chapter 4

All through Soundboard I’m jittery, then in our music theory and style seminar I can’t focus on anything at all, keep picking at the strap of my guitar bag, and Leon has to elbow me hard in the ribs twice when I’m asked a direct question and fail to answer. Monday’s are the worst, because it’s when our timetable allows us the afternoon off, and we go do sport. I usually look forward to a Monday afternoon off from using my brain, and it might sound silly, but I get a lot of good songs half written in my head while pounding the asphalt. It’s nice not having to think too hard.

Of course, that option is totally out, because the first thing I see upon entering the sports complex is Hrishi. He bids goodbye to his uber-nerd friends, most of whom hang out in the back of the yoga studio because it’s the closest they’re ever going to get to a girl for many, many years, and heads towards the changing rooms. I jog to catch him up.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Marty.” Hrishi glances quickly around, yanks me towards him by the front of my shirt and kisses me hard. “I’m thinking about you naked.”

“Yeah?” Oh shit, I’m not sure how I’m going to hide a full on boner from everyone while I change.

“Marty! Put the dweeb down and move your butt!” Jerome is waiting for me by the changing room door, drums sticks still in hand. I’ve not moved more than two paces when he grins and arches an eyebrow at me. “Don’t tease the gay-kid man, it’s mean. You know he’ll cry like a sissy when he finds out he can’t have you.”

My fist clenches at my side, and I glance back guiltily at Hrishi. He glares at me, his dark eyes full of fire, and I know this is kind of situation he was talking about before. I have to do something, say something, to raise myself up in his esteem, but I don’t want to give myself away either.

I thump Jerome softly in the chest when I get close enough, and frown at him.

“Lay off, man, leave him alone.”

“Gettin’ defensive of your boyfriend, are you, Marty?” Jerome teases loudly.

“Shut up, Jer.”

“Touchy! You know he watches you right? It’s cruel of you to lead him on.”

“He’s helping me with my computing assignment. Come on, let’s hit the asphalt.” I clap Jerome on the shoulder much harder than necessary. “You can land face first as always.”

“Bastard.”

“Fucktard.”

“Overly talented misanthrope,” Jerome counters.

“Ooh, big words.”

We head into the changing rooms, and I spend the next hour feeling like utter shit, because Hrishi never shows up for the lesson. It’s not like when he’s there he actually does anything, but my eyes are constantly drawn to the pack of lazy girls and guys too bored to try and run, because Hrishi’s long haired, slender shape should be among them, but it’s not.

I jog seamlessly, but I hate myself.

*

I spend a long time in the shower, trying not the think too hard, and wishing I could’ve done something constructive while I ran, instead of replaying the look in Hrishi’s eyes over and over again. Already I know I’ve failed to impress, because I didn’t say enough. I wanted to use my fist to remove that smirk from Jerome features, even though I quite like Jerome, he’s a good drummer, and I’m not a naturally violent person. I don’t understand this effect Hrishi is having over me.

I exit the showers, towel wrapped around my waist, shaking water droplets from my hair, in time to wave half-heartedly to the last of the other guys as they leave. Alone, I use my towel to dry my hair more thoroughly as I pick through my clothes. Just as I realise my boxers are inexplicably missing, I hear a scrape, and turn to see Hrishi wedge a bench across the door, shutting us in together.

“Looking for something?” he asks with a smirk.

“Where’s my underwear?”

“You don’t need them.”

“I don’t?” My cock twitches in excitement. Hrishi looks dangerous and feral, and I really shouldn’t be so turned on, but I am. I can feel myself quivering just with his proximity and the tone of his voice.

“No. I don’t want you wearing them anymore. They get in the way.”

Hrishi moves across the room towards me, still smiling in a sort of dangerous manner. His fingers pluck at the hem of his neatly pressed polo shirt, and the sight of an inch of his smooth brown skin makes my erection spring into complete stiffness. This is hugely dangerous, there are still people around, and though the door is wedged, it’s not locked, and I’m standing completely naked in the changing rooms with a very obvious boner.

“I missed watching you run today.” Hrishi’s voice is very nearly a purr. “You going to make it up to me?”

“Y-y-yes.” I never stutter, but I don’t seem to have a great deal of control over all my faculties right now. I ache to touch him, even though it’s only been an hour or so since we kissed. I can feel the heat from his body radiating against my skin, and I’m certain I’m not the only one aroused.

“Touch yourself.”

“Huh?”

“Marty.” Hrishi says my name like it might be a sexy profanity, and I do as he says, wrapping my fingers around my length, feeling the wetness of my precum the moment I start to stroke up and down the shaft. Hrishi is standing really close, though we’re not touching, and he keeps his eyes on my face as I jack myself off on his instruction. “Good boy,” he mutters, not for the first time, and my ears are filled with the wet sound of his lips moving against each other. I wonder what it would be like to have his mouth around me. “What are you thinking about?”

“You.”

His slap is light, but shocking, and I blink fast, fixing my eyes back on his own. His jaw tells me he’s tense too.

“Be more specific, Marty.”

“I’m thinking about you sucking me off.” I thought I’d be embarrassed to say that out loud, but there’s no energy left to feel shame in between holding his chocolate brown gaze and moving me hand in fast swipes over the head of my cock, spreading my own lubrication over the shaft so I can find yet more pleasure. My fist moves in a blur.

“Is that so?” Hrishi uses my shoulder to support his weight as he balances himself to whisper in my ear. His voice is moist and warm, and I groan with the sensation. “Imagining my lips around your cock?” Oh fuck. “Wanting me on my knees as you slide in and out of me?” I’m not going to last with that image on constant reply in my imagination. “Wishing you could come in my mouth?” I groan, turn my face to find his, my free hand roaming over my chest to catch him. I want the taste of his lips. “Not yet, Marty.”

I whine in frustration and pleasure, wanting to come, and Hrishi takes the noise as his signal to lean forward. There is the faintest brush of his lips on mine, then he pushes my head back, fixes his teeth on the point of my collar bone and bites down hard enough to make me scream. I’m still jerking off, it’s not like I could stop, and the pain gets lost in the pleasure shooting through my nerve endings, and I suddenly don’t mind that Hrishi is pulling up a new bruise and chewing my skin raw. He releases me with a chuckle, and glances down between us.

“You like that, don’t you?” I can’t even answer him. “Well haven’t you turned out to be the secret masochist, Marty….” I groan, every muscle tense with the need to come and come hard. My knees are shaking, and I know I’m going to collapse as soon as it’s over. “You’re so fucking hot.” I don’t even have the spare energy to smile at his compliment. “Good boy.” Hrishi steps back, folds his arms, and grins at me. “Come, now.”

“Fuck!” The moment he speaks I am powerless to resist, and I end up spurting over my hand and the floor, my cum thicker than it usually is, and pooling in my fist. I slump down onto the bench beside me as my legs give up with the idea of supporting my weight.

“That’s really hot.” Hrishi steps between my knees, dips the tip of one finger in the cum on my skin, making my shiver and jump, and then paints it over my lips as I pant for oxygen. “See you tomorrow, Marty.”

“Hey, wait.”

Hrishi tucks his shirt back into his chinos, and moves towards the door.

“I don’t get a kiss?” I ask.

“What are you, a girl? Fuck off.” Hrishi doesn’t spare me another glance, and shoves the bench aside with a loud screech as he leaves.

I want to crawl into bed and sleep, or maybe curl up into a ball and cry for reasons I can’t even assemble into words in my head, but I’m exposed, and I have no idea how I would explain this situation to anyone walking in, so I get up, support myself on the wall, and go to take another shower.

*

Everyone notices the new hickey on my neck, how could they not when it’s right there at the base of my throat, and it’s far too warm to get away with wearing a scarf. I shrug, refusing to explain, and by lunch at least the entire music department thinks I have a new and sexually adventurous girlfriend. Leon keeps strumming intros to song with sexually explicit lyrics, and we both get glared at when the senior pianist lecturer passes through our common room during a particularly loud moment when Leon is singing to me that he wants to ‘get his rocks off’. I hate lying to my friends, so I don’t say anything, and I make it all the way through my next seminar without saying anything too stupid. Crossing the main road to computing makes me strangely nervous.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Hrishi is waiting for me outside the classroom, but we’re the only ones there. Even our lecturer hasn’t shown up yet. He touches the bruise on my neck. “Looks good on you.”

“Well everyone knows I’m someone’s,” I mutter. I glance around the deserted hallway guiltily then give into temptation. I hate that Hrishi is the one with all the control. I started this thing after all. I pull him to me with a hand on each shoulder and kiss him hard. He opens for my tongue, and the sensation of kissing him is so all consuming for a moment I feel I won’t mind if someone comes around the corner and discovers us. When we break apart both of us are grinning.

“God, I’ve wanted to do that all day.”

“Just that?”

“Other stuff too,” I admit. I’m still holding him firm, but we’ve not got time or privacy enough for all the things I want to do to him, so I kiss him again, trying to remember every flavour of his mouth. I don’t know what he ate for lunch, but it was delicious.

The sound of feet breaks our kiss, but I don’t have time to step back before our lecturer rounds the corner. He glares, I glance between Hrishi and I at my fist in his shirt, and work out what he thinks is going on just before he starts shouting.

“What the hell is going on here?” He strides forward as I let go and step back. “How dare you pick on another student like that? Did he hurt you?” Hrishi doesn’t even get a chance to reply before our lecturer has rounded on me again, visibly enraged. “Just because he’s smarter than you, you think you can rough him up and no one will care? What, because you’re a cool kid?”

“Oi, sir…”

“Don’t you talk back to me boy! I know all about lads like you. I’ll have you in detention until the end of term, and think yourself lucky you aren’t getting suspended. Get out of my classroom.”

I would point out I’m not even in his classroom, but I’m too busy staring at Hrishi. He doesn’t meet my eyes, and I want to shout at him. He could explain this situation away, or at least make it so I don’t lose my lunch hour for the next four weeks, but he says nothing, and I shoulder my guitar, and stalk angrily away.

It’s the end of the day when my phone beeps at me, and I pull it out to find a text from Hrishi asking me to meet him in the computer lab. I’m not going back over the road for love nor money, because if I run into the teacher from computer science again, I might just deck him. I text him back with my location, and five minutes later, there is a soft knock on the door of the radio studio. Through the one-way glass I can see him waiting with his hands in his pockets, looking unhappy and slightly guilty. I’m sort of tempted to make him wait, but if someone sees him, then there will be way more explaining to do. I queue up another long song to play automatically and open the door.

“Come in.”

“I never even knew this place was here,” Hrishi sighs, “I had to ask for directions.”

“This isn’t my normal slot, I’m just covering for someone.” I latch the door behind him and settle myself back into the big leather DJ chair. Behind the mixing desk is a place I feel confident, comfortable, and I grit my teeth as I fade the in-booth volume so we can talk. “I got an email earlier, two weeks of detention.”

“Could be worse.”

“Yeah, he could have fucking hauled me over hot coals and had my parents in for beating up another student. Why the fuck didn’t you say anything?”

“Oh, because you always speak up when required?” Hrishi snaps. “Fuck you, Marty.”

“You first,” I snarl. I grab his wrist and haul his meagre weight into my lap. The chair complains and Hrishi squeaks in surprise, but I don’t care. I wrap my fingers around his jaw and kiss him hard, our teeth clack painfully, but Hrishi doesn’t pull back, and within a heartbeat we’re both trying to invade the other. My hands roam over his chest, and he has my shirt up under my armpits, shifting his weight without breaking the contact of our lips to settle more comfortably in my lap. I groan as his slim fingers brush over my nipples, and I can feel his smile.

“You like that?” he asks when we break for air. I’ve woven my fingers into his hair, massaging his scalp where it meets the back of his neck. “This is good. I don’t like it when you’re too soft.”

“So it’s better when we fight?” I shift slightly in the chair, reach past Hrishi and slip another disc into the CD player. Normally I put a lot more effort into radio sessions, even if I’m just covering, but I don’t normally have a really hot guy in my lap. “What are we doing here, Hrishi?”

“Making out?” he offers, leaning in to kiss me again. I take his tongue in my mouth, allowing him to plunder me effectively before he pulls back, touching the bruise on my throat. “I forget how pale you are. Where is your detention going to be?”

“Probably sorting through books in the library. You know I have work I should be doing instead right? The guys are going to be mad if I miss band practice all the time.”

“Your friends are dicks.”

“C’mon, Hrishi, you can’t keep saying that. You don’t know them like I do.”

“Yeah, because they’d never risk associating themselves with the gay, nerdy, Indian kid, would they?”

“I associate with you,” I remind him.

“You’re a pervert who attacked me in the shower.” He grins, like he’s happy about it. “I’m betting you guys don’t have that much in common.”

“Look, this ‘deal’ of yours.” I wrap my hands around his butt, pressing him forwards into my lap. I’m slightly nervous one of us will knock the switches on the sound desk and end up broadcasting our conversation to the rest of the college. “I’ll keep Leon off your back, but you’ve got to stick up for yourself too. I know you’re not some fainting flower.”

“Too fucking right.”

“So you don’t need me rushing in to save you. Grow a pair and show them who’s the boss.”

Hrishi looks like he’s going to argue for a moment, but decides against it, and grinds against my lap instead.

“Like how I show you who’s the boss?” He arches an eyebrow suggestively, and rolls the hard nub of my nipple between his fingers. I gasp. “Sensitive, huh? You’re too easy, Marty.”

“Marty?” We both freeze. Leon is on the other side of the door, covering his end of the day yawn with one hand. “You still sulking in there?”

I cover Hrishi’s yelp of surprise with one hand. And put a finger to my lips with an earnest expression.

“Can he see us?” Hrishi whispers in my ear.

“No.”

“Fuck, I didn’t realise it was a one way mirror.” Hrishi’s lips move over my jaw as he speaks softly. I assume the booth is soundproof, right?”

“Not fully.”

“We’ll have to be quiet then.” Hrishi’s fingers are already inside my clothes, fishing out my cock through the open fly of my jeans. I followed his instructions and went commando this morning. “Good boy.”

I bite my lip to keep from groaning. Leon is still waiting there, wanting me to answer him, but Hrishi has undone his own fly, and brought our very different erections together in one hand.

“Jerome told me what happened yesterday.”

I have to remind myself Leon isn’t talking about what happened in the changing rooms afterwards, and it feels incredibly strange to listen to my oldest friend whilst Hrishi works us over together in my lap.

“I know the little geek is a pain in the arse, but you could have just told him to shove it. What did he do, impinge your honour or something?”

Hrishi holds my gaze steady as he jacks us off, and the oddness of the situation almost makes me want to laugh.

“Just tell him to fuck himself next time. At least he won’t need to help you with your damn computer stuff any more. Told you, you should have switched to photography with me; it’s a doss.”

Hrishi is panting in my ear. I’m so turned on by the texture of his skin alongside my own, his hands around us both, the heat spreading through my thighs and abdomen from his weight balanced on top of me. I grip the plump mounds of his arse, my fingers finding his skin and holding on tight.

“You’re beautiful when you come, Marty.” Hrishi whispers against my lips. I don’t need any other encouragement, and he swallows my groan with a kiss as I come in his skilled hands. Hrishi is only a moment behind me, and I feel the hot wetness of his orgasm splash onto my bare chest.

“Marty? Dude, detention sucks, but you’ll get over it. I’ll meet you later for practice, OK?”

We both turn to watch him walk away. After a minute of heavy breathing, Hrishi giggles in an entirely unexpected and girlish manner.

“That was fucking close,” I pant.

“That was hot, and funny.” He gets up, and reassembles his perfectly put together appearance. “The rock star has a heart, who’d have guessed?”

“Piss off, Hrishi.”

“Uh-huh. See you, Marty. Thanks.”

I grin as he kisses me again, grabs his bag and makes to leave.

“I’m thinking about your arse,” I call after him with a smirk. Hrishi gives me the finger through the one-way mirror before vanishing out of sight.