Freshman Year - 9. Acrophobia, Bull Riding, and the Three Cs

Wesley & Seamus

By Wesley Lewis

Chapter 9: Acrophobia, Bull Rides, and The Three Cs

A freaking fair! That is where Jesse brought us for a double date. At first I thought he was crazy, but then I remembered that I hadn’t been to a fair for at least a decade. Seamus had a look of apprehension on his face.

“What’s the matter baby, haven’t you ever been to fair?” I asked. He slowly shook his head and just looked in awe at all the lights and rides. “Well there’s a first time for everything let’s go then.”

After some argument, mostly on my part, Jesse aid for everyone’s tickets and we were give wristband that let us get on any ride we wanted. Daddy gave me some money and told Seamus and me to meet them at the Ferris wheel in a few hours. I also made sure I had my phone with me too in case of emergency.

“So where to first Seamus?” I asked.

“Blimey Wes, I have no idea, what do you suggest we do I’ve never been to a fair before”

It was so cute he was turning ten shades of red. I just took him by the hand and led him to the merry go round figuring we’d start off nice and slow. He looked at me like I was crazy but he came along anyway. We got into one of the carriages and I could see him start to relax. The best part was we were holding hands the entire time and it felt great knowing I could be with my boyfriend out in the open.

I just hope school would be like this when I went back in a couple of days. Seamus had been bringing me homework while I was at home so I’m caught up on the work but Daddy told me it was time to get off my duff and return to school.

After the merry go round we ran around getting on different rides I think the fun house had to be Seamus’ favorite because we went through it about five time. It didn’t matter though because he was so happy.

We walked around for a little bit and saw a crowd that was gathered around in a small area. There was a lot of talking and pointing so I asked what everyone was going on about. A guy told me some dude in a cowboy hat had been on the mechanical bull for five minutes, which I guess was a hard thing or something.

As I motioned for Seamus to leave he pulled my arm back. I turned around and saw him pointing. My jaw nearly dropped when I saw it was Daddy on the mechanical bull. I looked around the crowd and found Jesse. He was as much in awe as I was. So, I snuck up behind him and could hear him talking to himself.

“I wonder if he can stay on like that in the bedroom” I liked to have died right then after hearing Jason say that.

I decided it was time to get him so I leaned over and whispered, “You never know until you ask, but I hear he’s got a good-looking boyfriend.”

Jesse nearly jumped out of his pants after hearing me. Seamus and I wear crying we were laughing so hard. We quickly stopped when we saw the look on Jesse’s face.

“I’m sorry Jesse I shouldn’t have done that to you but it was so funny.” I tried apologizing, I say try because I was still trying not to laugh at him. It took a few minutes but he finally started laughing with us.

After what seemed like an eternity Daddy finally got bucked off the bull. They clock behind him said he was on there like fifteen minutes, which I guess was sort of impressive, I didn’t really know to be honest. I was getting ready to grab Seamus and go on another ride when I noticed he had slipped away. Everyone started laughing and I looked, and there was my boyfriend about to hop on the bull. I guess he must have wanted a matching cast. As I stared in disbelief my favorite country song Boot Scootin’ Boogie started playing. Then the bull started up, it was fun to watch Seamus hold on but he was on there and wasn’t letting go. He motioned for the operator to speed it up. It was amazing to see him like this. If I didn’t know any better I would say this wasn’t his first time at the rodeo. After a couple of minutes, he motioned for the ride to go faster.

By now an even bigger crowd had amassed around the small area. People were taking videos and pictures with their phones.

One guy asked me “Who the hell is that damn kid, I’ve never seen a kid ride on that bull for that long or that fast”

“That’s my boyfriend” I replied with the biggest smile on my face.

“Well son you are damn lucky, I wish my husband could still ride like that.” He said and walked away.

I just stood there my mouth gaping open as I tried to process what the man had said. About that time, the operator turned the speed all the way up and Seamus was still holding on. After a few minutes the guy finally shut down the ride, saying it needed to charge up or some other baloney. I just think he was embarrassed he couldn’t get Seamus thrown off. Before Seamus left the little area, the operator gave Seamus a black cowboy hat like Daddy as wearing. He had the biggest grin and everyone was slapping him on the back calling him buckaroo and other names I didn’t hear.

After we left the bull ride we all decided to get something to eat. We chowed down on corndogs and pizza. after our fill of that we got funnel cake and cotton candy. I loved it when Seamus got a little bit of powdered sugar on his nose from the funnel cake, I couldn’t resist it and leaned over and licked his nose. When I did that we both started giggling like two schoolgirls. When looked over at Daddy and Jesse and they were rolling their eyes at us.

After getting our fill of junk food we made our way to the Ferris wheel. Seamus was as whit as a ghost as we moved near. He had told me that he was afraid of heights, so I figured that this was a good a time as any to break that little phobia. I had read in a book that a good way to overcome a fear was to face it head on and by associating a positive memory with it. He held my hand in his tightly as we ascended, it was sort of adorable to me. When we reached the top, the damn thing got stuck, well ok maybe it wasn’t just a bit of bad luck, I may or may not have bribed the ride operator to stop it when our seat made it to the top, but you can’t prove it! Seamus just sat there shaking and if truth be told he looked as if he was about to pass out. Before he did that though, I reached over cupped hiss face in my hand and kissed him. Almost immediately he seemed to relax and all the tension in his body abated. We stayed in that loving embrace until we felt the ride start to move again. When we got off the ride I thanked the operator again and slipped him a little extra.

When we got back to Daddy and Jesse, we decided we had enough of the fair so we left. I was prepared to go home then but Jesse had other plans. Recently there had been a new eating establishment that opened. It also boasted to be an awesome karaoke bar. I used to sing in the choir at church but had recently quit because of the way my voice cracked due to puberty. Seamus didn’t have that problem though. I was kind of curious to know how Jesse sounded. Daddy had a great tenor voice.

We pulled in the parking lot and went inside. This place looked amazing! It had a retro look that somehow seemed modern at the same time. The waiter who took us to our table wasn’t too bad looking either. We sat down and ordered a small meal with sodas. Daddy rarely drank and when he did it was just wine or champagne on special occasions. Jesse told us he didn’t drink because of an uncle he had plowed into a tree while drunk. About ten minutes into the meal Daddy stood up and excused himself from the table saying he needed to use the restroom.

A few minutes later we could see somebody had gotten brave enough to make a fool of themselves by singing in front of the crowd. Jesse was facing away from the stage and didn’t even look to see who was at the stage. He did turn around when he heard a familiar voice saying, “This one is for a guy I thought I had lost a long time ago but have found him again.”

If I could turn back time,
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that'll hurt you and you'd stay,
I don't know why I did the things I did
I don't know why I said the things I said
Love's like a knife it can cut deep inside
Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes

I didn't really mean to hurt you
I didn't want to see you go
I know I made you cry, but baby

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that'd hurt you
And you'd stay
If I could reach the stars
I'd give 'em all to you
Then you'd love me, love me, like you used to do
If I could turn back time

When we looked at Jesse he had tears running down his face but they weren’t sad tears because he had a giant smile on his face. I myself was crying as well as Daddy poured his heart into the rest of the song.

My world was shattered I was torn apart
Like someone took a knife and drove it deep in my heart
You walked out that door I swore that I didn't care
But I lost everything darling then and there

Too strong to tell you I was sorry
Too proud to tell you I was wrong
I know that I was blind,
And darling,

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that'll hurt you
And you'd stay
If I could reach the stars
I'd give them all to you
Then you'd love me, love me, like you used to do, oh

By now Seamus and I had begun to hold hands and were both smiling as Daddy neared the end of the song. Honestly, I had heard the song before but I never really understood the emotion behind it until tonight. Daddy kept singing despite the Tears rolling down his face.

If I could turn back time
If I could turn back time
If I could turn back time, whoa baby

I didn't really mean to hurt you
I didn't want to see you go
I know I made you cry, but baby

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that hurt you
If I could reach the stars
I'd give 'em all to you
Then you'd love me, love me, like you used to do

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
Then maybe, maybe, maybe
You'd stay
(Reach the stars) If I could reach the stars
(All to you) I'd give 'em all to you.

After daddy put the microphone back he was met with a standing ovation. He ignored everyone in the restaurant and walked straight up to Jesse and took him in his arms and kissed him. As I looked around the restaurant no one looked disgusted or offended at seeing the two kiss.

About twenty minutes later and a few drunken attempts at singing Don’t Stop Believing, I decided it was time for the three guys to know how I felt about them. I nervously maneuvered onto the stage taking the microphone from the previous singer and selected my favorite song.

“Hi, my name is Wesley, I’d like tom dedicate this song to the three people who matter to me the most and how they’ve helped me through a difficult time recently.

For all those times that you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through, through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith because you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith because you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

I stood there looking at the tear stained faces of the men who I loved more than anyone else in the world and I just walked to the table and was enveloped in a hug. Seamus kissed me and I felt so close to him that I never wanted to let go.

After a few more entertaining songs we decided it was time to head for home. Daddy insisted that Jesse stay the night and even offered to fix up our guest room for him in case he didn’t want to share the bed with Daddy. When Jesse wanted to know why Daddy just murmured something about going to church in the morning for a very important speech he was delivering. Jesse just accepted that and followed Daddy to his bedroom while me and Seamus went to mine. There was only a few minutes of making out and a lot of cuddling but eventually we fell asleep.

The next morning came quicker than I would have liked but it was better because I was waking up with Seamus today. I was a little apprehensive about going to church as it would be the first time since the incident. Daddy kept reassuring me telling me it would be fine. He and Jason had gotten up early and prepared breakfast this morning. Thankfully the kitchen wasn’t a war zone like it was yesterday morning. After we ate and got dressed we headed off to church.

When we entered the church, there were a few looks and murmurs, along with a great deal of whispering. I led Seamus and Jesse towards the front pew and sat there. We listened to the Choir do a few hymns and the new head pastor quote, or rather misquote several verses in the bible. He seemed to be staring at me and Seamus as he said the words about how homosexuals leading the life of sin would be cast into the fires of damnation hen judgement day came. By this time, I was pissed and bout ready to walk out when the hateful old goat introduces Daddy to speak.

“Good morning everyone, as you can see my son has returned and I’m happy about that. You may notice the red headed young man beside him, that is my son’s boyfriend. Yes, I said boyfriend. Sitting beside him is another important person, my boyfriend.”

By now there were even more whispers going around the church as people began staring at Daddy like he was the devil incarnate.

“I’m telling everyone this because I am tired of living a lie. I am tired of listening to people belittle my son and saying things like he deserved to be beaten like he was. I am here to tell you that no one deserved to be beaten like that. Just because he is gay doesn’t make me love him any less. He is the strongest person I know. I’ve sat and listened to the hate filled rants of various members of this congregation, and I must tell you I don’t think any of you here deserve to know me, my boyfriend, or my son and his. You are the type of people we preach against for being gossips. Yes, my former wife beat our son because he had the bravery to come out. Yes, he was in a coma for a week and we prayed that he would wake up. Every day we went to the chapel to pray for it. When he woke up he had to basically learn how to walk again, that’s where we met my boyfriend. He wasn’t always my boyfriend though. That was entirely my fault, he had the courage to confess his feelings to me when we were younger, what did I do? I did the same thing many of you would do and called him a faggot and wanted nothing to do to him. A few days after that I realized what an ass I was and went to apologize, when I got to his house I found a sold sign on the lot and an empty house. I thought I had lost my chance and I would never see him again. When my wife found out about Wesley she did something horrible and I still see the limp body of my son laying there battered and bruised. When I saw that Jesse was going to be my son’s physical therapist I had to apologize to him. He always was the bigger man of the two of us and forgave me. In all honesty, I haven’t forgiven myself yet. But as I look out at your faces I can see that I don’t need anyone’s forgiveness but my family and that now includes Jesse. I am also here today to tell everyone that this is the last time I will ever set foot in this miserable excuse for a house of worship. I will no longer subject my child or anyone else I love to your hate-mongering. And with that my family and I are leaving.”

As we got up to leave we noticed that a handful of parishioners were following us out. They stopped and thanked Daddy for opening their eyes and had confessed that they had acted foolishly. One mother even hugged me because she was one of the people who thought I deserved what happened. She admitted she had done the same thing to her son and now only talks to him once a year and that’s to a machine. She told me she was going to visit him and try to earn his love back and see if they could get bac to some semblance of normal. I was on cloud nine. I had an even greater sense of respect for my father after today. Now all I have got to do is get ready for tomorrow, my first day back at school.