Everything Changes - 6. See You Again

Everything Changes:

Chapter 6 – See You Again

Aaron sat there frozen like time was standing still. Pondering the biggest, and most difficult question ever asked by one of his sons.

Brendan sat on the edge of Alex’s bed holding Alex’s hand, while tears rolled down his face.

The only noise being made in the room were the monitors still attached to Alex.

Cam walked on the opposite side of Alex’s bed and gave him a loose hug.

“Dad…. DAD!” Alex said visibly becoming agitated.

“Huh. Ya…. Ummm…. Well Alex, do you remember the accident?” Aaron said with tears glistening in his eyes.

“Kind of, but why aren’t Mom and Joey here?”

Aaron couldn’t control his emotions any longer and started sobbing heavily. The fact his son survived the hellish nightmare over the last few days, was the final thing his emotions could handle.

Just then Auntie Joh barged through the door carrying a large suitcase, being pursued by Nurse Shelly.

“Madam, you can’t barge in here. Only family is permitted in here.”

“Oh for god sakes, would I be in Alex’s room if I wasn’t family? I am Johanne Kennedy, his mothers only sibling.”

“Oh my, I am so sorry for your loss.” Shelly covered her mouth immediately mumbling something about how stupid she felt and exited quickly.

Aaron sat there still crying, while both boys continued clinging to Alex.

Alex sat there in shock, not even saying a word. Just staring at the wall, lost inside himself.

“Alex?” Brendan cried. “I love you, please say something.”

“Fuck you…. Actually, fuck all of you. Why didn’t you guys let me die too? Mom and Joey shouldn’t have died if I lived.”

Brendan cried not knowing what to say, or do after being told off by his hero.

“Alexander Ryan, these three have been put through pure hell since the accident. Furthermore saying that to Brendan is just pure bull shit, he idolizes you. He only left your side to go home to get a little sleep and eat, after the hospital told them to.” Auntie Joh said in a huff.

“Just leave me alone, I don’t want any of you here!” Alex shouted as he pushed Brendan and Cam away.

Brendan felt utterly defeated, moved to his Auntie, and she pulled Cam and him into her warm bosom for a motherly cuddle.

Nurse Shelly rushed in with a syringe in hand, inserting it into Alex’s IV tubing and pushing the medication to be administered.

Alex drifted off to sleep, as Nurse Shelly turned towards his family.

“I am really sorry, my mouth goes sometimes before my brain kicks in. The doctor wants Alex to remain calm to let his body continue healing. He also ordered a consult from Psychiatrist Millie Hilliard which is our top child specialist in that field. She can hopefully help Alex sort his feelings out. Brendan, I hope you know the things your brother shouted at you weren’t really meant for you or your family. Alex is just really emotional, remember this is the first he found out about your Mother and Joey.”

Aaron looked at Shelly and shook his head, “I think some dinner and a breath of fresh air might calm our emotions. If anything changes before we return can you call me? I will be back later, I am not sure about everybody else.”

“Sure Aaron, I will make sure to do that personally,” Nurse Shelly promised.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime, my apologies again, Alex shouldn’t have found out about his Mom and Joey in that manner. See you guys later.”

Aaron turned to Cam and Brendan with open arms, and both willingly flew into his embrace. “Boys everything will work out in time, God has a plan for each of us.”

“Let's grab Joh’s suitcase, and go get supper at Texas Roadhouse.”

Aaron picked up the suitcase, and Auntie Joh wrapped a protective arm around each boys shoulder following Aaron out of the room.

Once at Texas Roadhouse, the boys sat on one side of the table, and the adults were on the other. The waitress took their orders, Cam and Brendan both ordered a Cajun Ribeye with baked potatoes and a Caesar salad, while Joh and Aaron ordered New York Strip with the same sides. The boys had Mountain Dew to drink, while the adults had sweet tea.

Cam said, “So why does everybody call you Auntie Joh?”

Joh got a mischievous smile, “Well that’s a funny story, when Brendan was three or four years old he was having trouble pronouncing his words, and he started running around calling me, but he was yelling Auntie Hoe, Auntie Hoe.”

Joh and Aaron were both laughing hysterically at the memory, and Cam was fighting a losing battle as he started snickering uncontrollably.

Brendan turned fifty shades of red and scooted down in the chair hiding his face. If he could have crawled under the table without being noticed he would have. However, all of the laughing attracted a ton of attention. So Brendan continued hiding his face.

Cam reached over and rubbed Brendan’s back. “It’s okay Brendan, your Auntie isn’t being a Hoe no more.”

After all the laughing quieted down, the group boarded Aaron’s truck to head home.

“So who is going back to the hospital with me and who isn’t?” Aaron asked.

“Well Aaron after my flight getting here and the taxi ride, I would prefer to stay home and relax a bit this evening.” Joh stated.

Cam looked at his feet and mumbled, “I don’t think I can handle seeing Alex if he’s going to say such mean and hateful things, that’s not the Alex I grew up around.”

“I am going, I have some stuff I have to say to Alex privately,” Brendan stated with a look of determination.

"Alright Brendan, that is fine just remember he is your brother, and this whole situation is rough on him too," Aaron stated firmly.

Aaron dropped the remaining two off at home, and they continued to the hospital.

"Brendan, I think I am going to give you boys some time to yourselves. I am going to go grab a few magazines for Alex, and maybe a book for myself to read. I will probably be an hour or so."

"Ok Dad, and I appreciate what you are doing." Brendan replied with a brief hesitant smile, knowing his Dad was only doing this to give him time to talk to Alex.

Brendan got to Alex's doorway, and the room was dark the television was off. Stepping inside Alex was facing away from the door laying on his side, and Brendan heard muffled crying.

"Alex, it's me bro, do you know how much you hurt me saying the shit you did? You aren't the only one who lost somebody you know, this whole thing is killing me slowly inside. When I found out about Mom and Joey, and then you.... all I could think about was I couldn’t lose you too. I mean how the fuck am I supposed to live without you Alex? When you got back from surgery I just wanted to make you all better, I sat right beside you and held your hand while I cried. Alex, I love you, if I could change everything that happened I would, but I can't so the only thing we can do is be there for each other. I know Joey was your best friend, hell he was like that to me too. Please don't shut me out Alex, I can't lose you, bro."

Brendan walked to the side of the bed and sat on the edge, and hugged Alex.

"Brendan, I miss them so much... I really shouldn’t be here.... not if.... well, not if they didn’t survive man. I miss them, Brendan, I can't figure out why I lived, and they had to die." Alex sobbed into Brendan's shoulder.

"Alex, you mind if I sang you another song? I sorta have one that was from the movie Fast 7 by Charlie Puth, that you and me saw together but really remind me of Mom and Joey."

Brendan released Alex from his hug, but continued holding his hand as he started to sing acapella....

It's been a long day without you my friend,
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began,
Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again, when I see you again.

Why'd you have to leave so soon, yeah,
Why'd you have to go,
Why'd you have to leave me when I needed you the most,
'Cause I don't really know how to tell ya without feelin' much worse,
I know you're in a better place but it's always gonna hurt,
Carry on,
Give me all the strength I need to carry on.

It's been a long day withoutyou my friend,
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began,
Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again, when I see you again.

Oooooooooooooooh

How do I breathe without ya I'm feeling so cold,
I'll be waiting right here for ya, 'til the day you're home.
Carry on,
Give me all the strength I need to carry on.

So let the light guide your way, yeah,
Hold every memory as you go,
And every road you take will always lead you home, home

It's been a long day withoutyou my friend,
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began,
Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again when I see you again.

Oooooooooooooooh

When I see you again, see you again, Yea, When I see you again

Alex was crying uncontrollably again clinging to Brendan as if he were a life preserver in rough turbulent seas with no end in sight.

"I am so sorry I said the shit I did to you guys, I didn’t mean it, especially you Brendan, I really do miss them you know...."

"Stop it Alex, ok, we all know how you feel man. It's not your fault, Alex it was the fucking asshole that drove drunk that killed Mom and Joey, and almost you."

"But maybe if Joey and I weren't carrying on and joking with Mom, maybe.... well, maybe they would be alive."

Aaron was leaning on the wall outside the door listening to his son's talk. He decided it was time to talk to both of his sons but especially Alex.

Aaron walked in the room clearing his throat.

"Dad, I didn’t mean all of that hurtful shit I said to you guys I hope you know that."

Aaron sat in the chair on the opposite side of the bed from Brendan, so he could maintain his closeness to Alex. He reached and took Alex's other hand and kissed it.

"Alex, it is okay son, I know you didn’t mean a word you said. You have been through a lot of tough things, and nothing seems to be easy for our family lately. I stopped and spoke with the doctor, on my way back from getting you some magazines. He said they are going to try and ween you off of your pain meds tomorrow and start some physical therapy on your back and legs. They are hoping you will be able to get out of here in a week, but that is still going to wait and see. Son, Joey's funeral is in two days, his parents are having a really hard time dealing with losing him. I am sorry you can't say goodbye to him at the funeral, but when you are ready to, we will take you to the cemetery where you can say goodbye your own way. The other issue is your Mom was hurt so bad, the Funeral Director recommended cremation of your Mom's body due to the injuries her body couldn't be present properly for visitation. I agreed to it so we could all celebrate your Mom's life together as a family once you are home and stronger."

Brendan laid down on the bed beside Alex, wrapping his arm over Alex as they wept together.

"Dad," Alex said between sobs, "How am I to live knowing that I should have died with them?"

"Alex, they both would want you to live the best life you can, and be the best person you are capable of being son." Aaron kissed Alex's forehead as he leaned into his son.

"Dad, why is Auntie Joh here if there isn't a funeral for Mom?"

"Well, I will eventually have to go back to work, although I took bereavement time and a couple weeks of vacation time to be with you guys and hopefully get you back up and around. Joh offered to come and help out until things calm down some for us, plus I think this is her way of saying goodbye to your Mom, I know she misses her sister."

"Can you tell her I am sorry she heard that shit I said to all of you Dad?"

"I think I will let you do that, God knows I am not giving that woman any ammunition to use on me. You never know what she is going to say or do next, isn't that right Brendan?"

Brendan turned crimson red and shrugged, "I was little how was I to know what I was saying?"

Alex looked at his brother questionably.

"I guess you wanna know too, huh? It is so embarrassing, and she said the story in the middle of Texas Roadhouse where everybody in the place heard it. I swear to God I wanted to crawl under the table and disappear."

So, Brendan repeated the story to Alex without omitting any detail. Alex chuckled as he continued to hug his brother.

"Brendan, you were so cute when you were little you could get away with murder if you wanted to with Mom and Dad, who cares how you talked back then."

Brendan gave Alex a kiss on the cheek.

"What was that for?"

"Because you are the best brother I could ask for, and you came back to me. If it weren't for you, I would have lost Cam too."

Alex kissed the top of Brendan's head saying, "I don't wanna lose you either Brendan, I know I need help being who I used to be. My problem is I don’t want to talk to strangers about the things I feel. I will try and talk to that Doctor Millie that they explained to me while you guys were gone, but no promises."

"Son, we have to find a way for you to work through what you are feeling, it is not going to help you carrying guilt over something you didn’t cause or do."

"Dad I told you I will try, I can't make promises that I am not sure if I can keep. So, just don’t ask me to make that promise."

Time passed with a bunch of small talk and soon visiting hours were to be over. But nobody wanted to leave, and Alex honestly didn’t want them to, go, but he wouldn’t tell them that.

"Guys, I hate to do this to you, but visiting hours have been over for forty-five minutes, so I have to ask you to go home since Alex is out of danger." Nurse Shelly stated.

"Son we are going to get heading home if you need anything you can call us. I got you a new cell phone to replace the one that was ruined in the accident, it's in the night stand. I love you." Aaron bent down and kissed Alex's forehead.

"Bye Alex, I love you, I will see you tomorrow morning even if I have to walk to get here."

Brendan released his hug, which had been in place most of the evening, sliding off the bed.

Brendan and Aaron walked toward the door, but Brendan paused at the door and turned toward his brother, giving a sad smile and wave. He knew tonight was going to be a rough night on both Alex and himself.

Finally, back at home, Brendan made rounds hugging the adults saying good night to all.

Grabbing Cam's hand, and practically dragging Cam to Alex's room.

Cam looked at Brendan sighing, "What is wrong with you? Did something happen?"

"Call it a premonition or whatever it is called, but Alex is hurting more than he is telling all of us. I know it, and I can feel it. Can you just hold me, so I know I am okay?"

"You know I will Brendan, I love you, now and forever." Cam gave a chaste kiss to Brendan.

Brendan crawled into Alex's bed fully dressed like the house was going to catch fire, but Cam crawled in with him and pulled Brendan into his side.

Cam just laid there holding Brendan, watching, wondering, and worrying about him. What had bothered him so much that he needed to be held, and why would he go to bed fully dressed? Slowly Cam drifted off to sleep.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO... JOEY.... JOEY, breathe, please breathe... MOM? MOM...."

"Alex wake up honey it is just a bad dream. I am going to call your Dad, maybe he and your brother can come back if that will help." Nurse Shelly stated.

"I want Brendan." Alex sobbed.

"Brendan wake up... Brendan, get up we need to go back to the hospital."

"It's Alex, what happened, is he ok?" Brendan asked rubbing the sleep from his eyes to get his bearings.

"He is okay physically, but he woke up screaming, I don't know if he remembered the wreck or if it was just a nightmare, but he’s asking for you."