Soul Music: Love Encountered - 9. On Closer Examination

Geoff opened his eyes. He looked around. His phone alarm had woken him up as usual, but he wasn't sure where he was. Eh? … Then it all came rushing back – work, the effing news about his job, and Tony's unstinting kindness. Geoff took a moment to bask in the pleasure. Having someone who cared, really cared, for him was priceless. He stretched his whole body. Ahh ... feeling the welcome lack of stress-induced knots and pains. Tony was so good to him, and good for him, as well.

He acknowledged the progress made, particularly when it came to him, Tony, and making love. Kissing was wonderful – so simple, yet it seemed to have a direct connection to his cock. Every time they'd kissed, things had immediately got going elsewhere. The same for Tony? Presumably. Geoff felt he was getting more confident. He remembered the surprise on Tony's face when he made the first move that time at his house. But his confidence had its limits.

The thought that he could've spent last night in Tony's bed was enough to get him hot and bothered again. The offer had taken him by surprise. How long would Tony wait for him to catch up? It must be acutely frustrating for his boyfriend to have a relationship with such an ignorant lump like him. His own lack of sexual experience was laughable – that, or it threatened to make him cry. Tony had been wonderfully patient so far. … They'd both agreed sleep was most important after the thoroughly draining day he'd had. Geoff had admitted he'd never slept in a bed with someone else, so he'd ended up in the spare room.

Sitting up, Geoff made out what he could in the thin, grey light of a February morning. It was obvious the room didn't get used much as a bedroom. There was no bedside light, so he'd had to squeeze past Tony's bike, a heap of walking gear, football stuff, and other things in the dark to get to the bed. He'd just about managed it without tripping up – it wasn't pitch black, the streetlight gave some illumination. Tony certainly enjoyed being outdoors. Come the summer, he'd have to make more of an effort. He liked being in the garden, but he wasn't one for going on walks. Walking with Tony would be different, though.

An upright chair was the only other piece of furniture, apart from the built-in wardrobe. Geoff smiled to himself as he replayed Tony's apologies for the state of the room. Just let him wait until Tony saw his own loft. Boxes and boxes of unknown, nameless stuff accumulated over several decades by his parents, and now him. One of these days, he'd have to start clearing it out … Perhaps when he was unemployed? Geoff cursed the return of the previous day's doom and gloom. He reached for his phone and saw it was time he was up and about. The bathroom was the first stop.

Dressed in his usual winter sleepwear of pajama bottoms and a tee, Geoff was padding across the landing to the bathroom when he heard the door to Tony's room opening. Geoff came to a halt, self-conscious as ever. He always felt awkward staying in other people's houses, fitting into different routines, different expectations. There were still so many ways in which he didn't really know Tony that well. Half-turning to look in the direction of Tony's room, Geoff was greeted by the sight of his boyfriend standing in the doorway, only partially dressed in a pair of sleep shorts.

Tony was smiling broadly, and greeted his guest cheerfully. “Morning. You sleep well?”

He'd heard Geoff stirring, and had come out to meet him. Geoff looked so adorable in his sleep-tousled state – his thick, auburn hair ruffled and sticking up in places. And his unstructured, soft-looking pajama bottoms were clinging to various parts of his anatomy. Tony admired the view without being too obvious. Sometimes, he so wished he and Geoff were further along in their sexual explorations. The temptation to discover, to fondle what was hidden by Geoff's pajamas was almost irresistible. It would only be the work of a minute or two … Tony managed to tamp everything down. They'd get there, and it would be all the more enjoyable when they did.

“Yes, thanks. Sometimes I don't like a strange bed, but this one was fine.”

Geoff didn't quite know where to look after his initial glance at Tony. That quick look had focussed on Tony's bare torso which he was now finding very distracting. Firm, muscled, hairless, apart from some wisps in the region of his nipples, Tony's body was causing Geoff to turn his usual shade of flustered red. Tony was gorgeous. So handsome. So desirable … if only he knew what he was doing sexually.

“Err … I'm just heading off for a shower, if that's OK?”

“Of course it is, love. Plenty of hot water. You got everything you need?”

Geoff looked at what he'd got in his hands. “Yeah, think so.”

“Good. If not, give me a shout. Breakfast?”

“Ehm … whatever you're having'll be great, thanks.”

“Porridge and toast, then. I don't bother with anything else weekdays.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Geoff, shy as ever, smiled briefly, then hurried off to the bathroom. The sight of Tony standing there, confident, masculine, had really got to him. When he was next in his own bathroom, his wanking session in the shower would have a new, infinitely sexy video-feed. Here, he didn't dare, despite the fact his semi was threatening to become fully hard. It would feel wrong, somehow, to do it in someone-else's bathroom. Geoff felt a wave of heat. Especially in Tony's. He still didn't quite understand. Tony could have pretty much whoever he wanted. What was it that Tony saw in him?

Having spent a few seconds watching Geoff heading towards his shower, Tony returned to his room to finish dressing, and to allow time for his hard-on to subside. When any of his previous boyfriends were living with him, he would've felt OK about quickly tossing himself off. But not now, when Geoff was around. Odd … Tony shrugged. It didn't matter. He was so lucky. Their sexual explorations would be mirrored in other areas of their lives – music, cooking, gardening … In many ways, Geoff was like a dream come true.

“Really good porridge, this.” Geoff spoke between spoonfuls as he wolfed it down.

Part haste, part hunger, his bowlful was disappearing at a surprising rate. Why though should he be surprised? There was evidently nothing like shock and upset for using energy, and his appetite had returned with a vengeance. Something else to thank Tony for. They'd spent the evening watching a daft comedy, curled up on the sofa, kissing gently as the mood took them. He decided he couldn't face talking about work apart from the bare bones. That was something he'd have to return to later on. If he'd been at home, he would've had a bad night, tossing and turning, and his guts would still have been tied up in knots.

Tony watched with affection from the other side of the table. “Want some more?”

“Err …” Geoff contemplated his empty bowl for a moment. “No … There's toast as well, isn't there?”

Tony grinned. “There will be in a moment or two.”

He cleared away their bowls, refilled the coffee mugs, and loaded the toaster with its first round of bread. Tony looked back at the table to see Geoff flushed slightly red.

“I eat too much, don't I?” His boyfriend looked downcast.

Tony moved round the table to stand right behind Geoff's seat. He wrapped his arms loosely around his boyfriend, and kissed the top of his head. After a moment, Geoff leant back against his chest.

Tony looked down. “There's nothing wrong with a healthy appetite, love. But maybe you don't eat enough of the right things? Fruit, veg, pulses, as well as the protein and carbs. Less of the fatty, processed foods. Yeah? We've already talked about that. And if you're stressed, it's easy to hit the comfort food, sweets, crisps and so on. Look, I'm doing sandwiches and a flask of soup for my lunch. Want some? There's plenty – the soup's been defrosting overnight, so it needs using up.”

Geoff snuggled his head back a little more. He could get used to this. There was no softness, but the warmth of connecting with his boyfriend was so comforting. In return, Tony gently stroked Geoff's hair, now combed into submission.

“Yes, please. You're spoiling me, you know.” Geoff sounded a little unsure. “You do far more for me than I do for you.”

Tony moved to sit down next to him, and looked straight at Geoff.

“We don't keep scorecards. We love each other, and that's not what it's about. Yes, at the moment I'm doing quite a lot of the cooking, but you did the same for me the other week. Anyway, come the better weather, I'll be dragging you out into your garden, begging you to teach me how to grow … I dunno … peas, tomatoes, roses. Whatever you've got planned.”

Geoff grinned. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I'm a frustrated gardener. The three square metres of manky grass out front hardly qualifies as a garden. And there's not much more in what's laughably described as the main garden. That's modern housebuilding for you. … We need to be off in a minute if I'm giving you a lift to work. You coming back here this evening? You're more than welcome.”

Geoff sighed. “It's going to be a crap day at work. Just as bad as yesterday in some ways with everyone talking, speculating, gossiping. I'd like to talk over my options with you later before I go back home. I'll pick my car up first – it'll save you driving me later on. If you don't mind, that is.”

“Course, I don't. I was in the same position as you a couple of years ago.”

“Really?”

“The voluntary sector isn't immune to restructurings or redundancies, you know. The National Trust is big, and quite complex – it isn't all run by volunteers. Far from it. A new director came in, and was followed shortly by a re-organisation. I had to re-apply for my own job. I was lucky, I suppose, having to apply for something I knew so well.”

“Oh …” Geoff took a moment.

“And I survived. I'm still working for them, for the present, at least. I'm sure I'll be able to give you the dubious benefit of my experience.”

“Thanks, Tony. I know I'll need all the help I can get whichever way I decide to go.”

They both stood up.

“You got everything?”

“Err … I will have in a minute or two.”

Geoff hurried off to the spare room to grab his overnight bag, before they both left for the day.

A few days later, they were both in Tony's kitchen again. Tony had paused in doing his own work when he heard a series of sighs coming from the other side of the table. Looking up, he saw Geoff staring in frustration at a piece of paper that had very little written on it. He was chewing on a pencil.

“How you getting on?”

“I'm trying to list my strong points. That's a joke – I don't have any. At least, nothing worth noting here. A healthy appetite? Hardly. A good musician? So what?”

Geoff was sounding fed up. Understandable, Tony thought, but it wasn't helping him do the job.

After a weekend of indecision, Tony had insisted that Geoff consider undertaking the task he was currently loathing so much.

Geoff pushed his chair away from the table. “I'm almost certain I want to stay, so why do I have to do this?”

Tony sighed quietly. It was obvious he wouldn't be getting any more of his own work done that evening.

“Geoff, love, even if you do decide to stay, you'll have to interview for a job. You're gonna be competing against however many of your co-workers who also decide to stay. Nobody's going to just give you a job. Or anyone else, for that matter.”

“Yeah … I know.”

“And, as I understand it, your job won't exist after the re-organisation, so you'll need to decide which of the available positions will suit you the best. That way, you'll stand the best chance of getting it.”

Geoff pulled a face, but didn't say anything.

Tony watched in affectionate concern as Geoff's eyes turned back down to the piece of paper, but nothing happened by way of writing. Or apparently, active consideration. Tony waited for a couple of minutes, then he decided he couldn't stand it any longer. He got up, then moved round to Geoff's side of the kitchen table.

“Look … How about I ask the questions?”

“Pardon?” Geoff looked up.

“You're not getting on too well on your own, are you?”

Geoff's gaze dropped again to the sheet. “All I can think of is what I'm bad at, what I can't do, what I have no experience of … I'm useless.”

Tony grabbed the nearest seat and sat down next to him. “Look at me.”

Geoff didn't respond.

“Geoff, love. Please …”

His boyfriend's head turned slowly to face him.

“You are not useless.”

Geoff shrugged.

“Of course, you're not. And, if you were thinking straight, you'd agree me. Funny, I've never been attracted to men who are useless. Now, my boyfriend …”

Geoff started to blush.

“Is a man who is talented, sweet, funny, hard-working, thoughtful, a team player … And very, very sexy. Although a fit of the glums isn't your most attractive expression ever.”

Geoff rolled his eyes. Tony leaned over to give his boyfriend a kiss on his lips. Afterwards, he backed off for a moment.

“You weren't trying. What's the matter? You gone off me or something? Found someone else more exciting? Who is he? I want to know.”

Geoff's shy smile re-emerged as he shook his head. “Of course I haven't. You idiot.”

“OK … Let's try again, shall we?”

And they did. With much more satisfactory results. And again. The two men drew apart with reluctance – there was still work to be done, and it was for deadlines which weren't negotiable.

Tony pulled his laptop over from the other side of the table.

“We both know you've got some issues with your self-confidence, love. But it doesn't have to stay that way.”

Geoff frowned, then raised an eyebrow.

“All I'm saying is, it isn't part of your genes or anything. You can learn coping strategies.” Tony suddenly thought of something he'd been meaning to ask Geoff for some time. “How do you get on with playing percussion? It's hardly the back desk of the violas.”

“That's different.”

“How?”

“I'm … not me, in a way. To the audience, I'm just some bloke in a penguin suit, standing at the back of the stage. Yes, I get nervous sometimes, but it's a different kind of feeling. If that makes sense? It's more … anticipation, getting fired up. Not like work interviews.”

Tony gave Geoff a squeeze. “Look, try asking your HR if there's any help available for interview techniques, or writing a job application, for that matter.”

Geoff shifted in his seat. “Yeah …”

Tony raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment further. “Right, show me which post you're thinking of going for.”

Geoff opened his email account on the laptop and showed Tony the job description and person spec of his preferred job. Then both men settled down to some serious work.

Tony hesitated, looking around at the various display cabinets containing jewellery. He'd taken the afternoon off work to find a birthday present for his sister. She liked quirky one-offs, which was why he was currently in the local craft co-operative shop, trying to find something suitable.

He'd moved to examine one display in particular, when he was tapped on the shoulder.

“Tony?”

Tony turned round, not quite recognising the voice. It was one of his clubbing acquaintances from a while back. Someone he wasn't very taken with …

“Hi, Jason. How's things?”

“I'm good, thanks, Tony. I was walking past and spotted you. Not seen you at the club for months? You've been missed. A good dancer's always missed.”

Hmm … Tony wasn't convinced. He'd only ever been an infrequent clubber, and his dancing was OK, nothing more. He'd given it a miss altogether since he'd broken up with Jake.

“Reckon I'm getting too old for clubbing – in mind, if not in body. You still go?”

“Oh, yeah! Friday night's not the same if I don't get wasted.”

Tony's polite expression thinned a little. That was one thing he really disliked about the clubbing scene – the British fixation on getting pissed. He'd never seen the attraction, himself. Jason didn't seem to notice the slight chill in the atmosphere.

“You with anyone at the moment, Tony?”

Tony's nostrils flared slightly – this was getting personal. Jason noticed this time.

“Sorry, being nosy, I know, but I remember hearing on the grapevine that you'd broken up with …”

“Jake?”

“Yeah, that's him. Jake. So?”

Tony took a moment. Jason's face had an unhealthy, greyish tinge to it. Tony wondered what else Jason used to make his Friday nights go with a bang. He decided to say the bare minimum.

“I'm in a relationship.”

Jason waited, obviously hoping for more, something to fuel that week's social media gossip and speculation.

“And yourself?” Tony didn't really care one way or the other.

“Nah … Grindr helps me out if I fancy a fuck. Not sure I'm the committed, marrying sort.” Jason sniggered.

Tony then made a move to close the conversation, but Jason put a hand out.

“Oh, and I ran into Stuart Fletcher, your Stuart, online the other day. He said he was moving back into the area, and looked forward to catching up with old friends.”

Tony's lips thinned even more. He could do without one of his exes potentially getting in the way. Stu hadn't accepted the end of their affair very well. Hmm …

“Oh … doubt I'll be on that list. See you around, Jason.”

“Yeah. Bye.”