Soul Music: Love Encountered - 11. Relationships

“How can you be so sure? You've never seen me in an interview.”

Geoff's plaintive question was answered by one of Tony's best kisses – strong, loving, supportive. When they separated, Tony stood back a little, and regarded his boyfriend fondly against the backdrop of the kitchen sink.

“You know, you look great in that suit. And the tie sets everything off nicely.”

Geoff fingered his tie, new on that morning. “So it should do, given how hard you pushed me into buying it.”

Tony sniggered. Their first clothes shopping trip together had been interesting. Tony knew Geoff wasn't really that bothered with clothes – he tended to wear whatever came to hand. But that didn't mean he was unaware of how he looked. When he had to, his boyfriend smartened up pretty well. He just needed a push or two, like with the tie.

“You look smart and savvy, love. Perfect for an interview. The pinks in the tie set off your complexion wonderfully, and your hair.”

Geoff stared back at him mulishly. He never much liked being complimented on his clothes, even by Tony.

“Don't frown. You need to practice your smile …” Tony demonstrated in encouragement.

Geoff's job interview was that morning – a perfect way to start the week. Tony had come round early to Geoff's house to offer moral support as Geoff had turned down his offer to stay over.

“I could've helped you with your nerves.” A teasing smile.

Geoff blushed, showing how close he could get to the pinks in the tie.

“I'm not fit to be around when I get that nervous. It was OK though. I slept reasonably well … Thinking of you.” Geoff looked up at his boyfriend. “You've been so good for me. You are so good for me.”

Geoff moved towards Tony, and they hugged, trying not to crease anything vital.

“You'll nail it, love.” Geoff looked unsure. “Just remember what we talked about – remain postive, focus, take your time, ask if you don't understand something, and believe in yourself. I believe in you. So will other people if you let them.”

Geoff sighed. “It's all come round so quickly. It doesn't seem two seconds since I was filling out the application form. How long's it been? Two weeks at the most. I know they wanted everything sorted by the end of March. It'll be the end of April now before they're all done, but it's reasonably close.”

“Surely that's better than months of not knowing? I've heard some places take six months or more to implement a redundancy trawl, and reposition everyone.”

Geoff nodded, then swallowed hard. “God, I'm so nervous.”

Tony gave his man another gentle squeeze. “Think of it like a performance, love. Nerves are good as long as you keep them under control. Make them work for you, not against you.”

Then a soft peck on the lips.

“Phone me when you're done. Yeah?”

Geoff was looking a little better. “Of course. As soon as I get back outside, you'll be the first to hear all the grisly details.”

He managed to summon up a wry chuckle at his own black humour.

“That's better. I want to hear about every 'Umm' and 'Err'.” Tony grinned as Geoff scowled at him. “Sorry I can't meet you for lunch – there's a wretched work thing I can't get out of.”

“That's OK. I've arranged to meet Helen. I think she'll try to feed me copious amounts of cake.”

“Good for her. Cake, in moderation, will be good for you after your exertions.” Tony suddenly looked stern. “Though I'll have to be very strict this evening to make up for it – there'll be no biscuits or pudding.”

Geoff looked appalled. “Hnh … don't know why I keep coming round to your place.”

“Yes, you do, love.” Another quick kiss. “It would be nice to meet Helen properly sometime. Maybe she and my sister Zoe would make an interesting combination?”

Geoff hadn't met Zoe at all, but he'd heard about her from Tony. She sounded slightly scary. The idea of her and Helen being in the same room as them was alarming. He didn't want to be eaten alive by their curiosity and no-holds barred conversation.

Tony looked at the time. “Right. We need to be off. Got everything?”

Geoff grabbed his stuff and his coat, trying hard not to have the air of a condemned man. They snatched another kiss on the doorstep before Tony went to his car, and Geoff headed off to his usual bus stop.

Helen hesitated in the doorway of her favourite café. Damn, it seemed completely full. Sometimes it was almost too popular for its own good. She continued looking around, hoping for a lucky break. On her second or third sweep of the eating area, she spotted a couple who were starting to pick up their stuff before going off to pay at the till. Helen moved into the main part of the café, keeping an eye on the couple's table while also trying to work out if anyone else was waiting. There was no fixed system, but she knew there'd be trouble if she commandeered the table out of turn. No … all the other people were occupied one way or another. She moved into position. Close enough to stake a claim without pressurising the table's occupants into getting a move on.

Finally, the couple got themselves sorted, and moved away. Helen quickly took possession, sat down, and waited for Geoff to join her. How had his interview gone? She'd half hoped for a text, but of course, Geoff would've given priority to Tony. Certainly his chances were better than if he'd never met Tony. That was for sure. Helen smiled to herself. She reached out for a lunchtime menu – they might have some cupcakes later, but first, they needed something more substantial.The list wasn't that long, but everything sounded appetising.

Ping! Her phone bleeped with a text notification.

Are you inside? Can't see you.

Helen turned round in her seat – the table was off to one side, towards the back of the café. She could see Geoff hesitating, like she'd done, looking in at the packed room. Helen stood and waved. Geoff noticed her after a few seconds and waved back. Helen sat back down, then turned a few moments later to see a very smartly dressed man appear. Her jaw dropped.

“Wow! Look at you! You look amazing.” Helen didn't think she'd ever seen her friend look that good.

Her exclamations cut through the constant low-level chatter, and several heads turned in Geoff's direction, giving him approving glances. Helen caught the tail-end of a couple of looks which made her snigger.

“What?” Geoff was just about to take his seat at the table. Instinctively, he looked down at his trousers. They were fine – nothing showing that shouldn't be.

“It's OK.” Helen reached over and patted Geoff on the arm. “Just some people who seem to think you're my boyfriend.”

“Oh …” Geoff finally sat down, blushing.

“You scrub up very nicely, you know. You should do it more often.”

“Yeah, well …” Geoff picked up a menu to cover his confusion. He looked at it closely. “I'll have to be careful what I order – don't think tomato sauce would look good on this. Or this.” He fingered his shirt, then the new tie.

Helen smirked. “Fortunately, they don't do pasta. That tie really does lift everything. … Tony's suggestion?”

“Yeah. I didn't believe him.”

“He's got taste, your boyfriend.”

After a few minutes, a harassed-looking female server hurried over to take their order. They both gave their selections.

“It'll be ten, fifteen minutes at least – we're very busy. So, that's one vegetable soup with a ham ciabatta.” Helen nodded. “And one ploughman's with extra salad.”

Geoff sighed. “Yeah, that's right.”

He missed his fast food lunches sometimes – that salty hit was what he craved after the morning's ordeal. At least he wasn't in a hurry. With so many interviews going on, nobody was that bothered about exact timekeeping. Geoff smiled as he recalled the first lunch he'd had with Tony. God, what a disaster that had nearly been. Yet, what had come out of it? A relationship, a love he still couldn't quite believe.

“Anything to drink?”

Geoff fancied a beer – only a half – but he wasn't sure the café had a licence.

“Err … Do you have beer?”

“No, sorry. No alcohol licence.” The server stood there, looking impatient.

Geoff went for his usual standby. “OK … a pot of tea for two, thanks.”

The server scribbled it down, then hurried off.

Helen leaned forward. “OK … how'd it go?”

Geoff shrugged. “I did the best I could. Was it enough? Who knows. It'll be a couple of weeks at least before I know.”

“You'll be fine.”

“Hmm … You weren't there, Me, scarlet in the face, trying desperately not to waffle … At least I answered all the questions, unlike some people. Whether the answers were the ones they wanted to hear …” Geoff grimaced.

“Geoff, it's over. You can't change anything.”

Geoff sighed, then decided to change the subject. “As for boyfriends, when are you going to get yourself another one?” He could feel himself turning pink as he asked the question.

Helen laughed. “That Tony's put some fire in your belly. Six months ago, you'd have died rather than ask me something like that. I'm glad.”

Geoff looked down at his place setting, and the spaces in-between. “Tony is amazing.” His voice dropped a little. “I can hardly imagine being without him now. … I love him so much.”

“And if he has any sense at all, he loves you back. Does he?”

A small nod in reply, but Helen took her answer from the look of transparent happiness on Geoff's blushing face.

“Good … otherwise I'd be having a chat with your Tony.”

Geoff looked up, horrified. “You wouldn't.”

“Why not, if the circumstances warranted it? Geoff, you may not be my boyfriend, but I still love you.” Helen fiddled with her menu. “Anyway, me and boyfriends? I've rather gone off the idea after Mark turned out to be such a complete waste of space.”

“Oh …”

Geoff had never met Mark properly, but the little he'd seen of him, and what Helen had let drop, made him suspect his friend was well rid of her former boyfriend. To his eyes, Mark had appeared very full of himself, confident in that overbearing kind of way that rang alarm bells in Geoff's mind. Helen must've seen something attractive about him.

“Why did … ehm … did you …?”

“What? Break up?”

Geoff nodded. He still had problems evidently in asking some questions. Tony wasn't yet a cure-all.

Helen's lips thinned. “Because the stupid fucker came back to mine one night, off his head with drink, and tried to force his way in.”

Geoff's jaw dropped.

“I wasn't having any of it, and he got mad.” Helen shook her head. “I managed to get him outside again and dead-locked the door, but not before he'd left me with a black eye and other bruising. Bastard.”

Geoff instantly recalled something. “You appeared at a rehearsal one day, looking as though you'd been in a fight. Which you had. You said … What? You'd had an argument with a cupboard door or something?”

Helen rolled her eyes. “Yeah, it'd happened the middle of the previous week.”

“I thought at the time you were very subdued.”

“Who wouldn't be? Anyway, he got a police caution, then I took out a restraining order.”

“He should've had a hell of a lot more than a caution.”

“Maybe. … Still, he moved away soon after. So, you can understand why I'm being cautious.”

At that point, their food arrived. Geoff attacked his with enthusiasm, noting with approval that the portions were hearty, cheese and bread included.

In the middle of the same week, Tony was sitting in his car outside Geoff's house, watching the sun go down and waiting for his boyfriend to get home from work. Public transport. The bus had probably been delayed or something. They hadn't yet given one another a house key. Tony smiled fondly. In his previous relationships – if they'd lasted long enough – four and half months after their first encounter, he and his boyfriend would have already been living together for at least a month. It was almost as if each affair fitted into a fixed pattern, some kind of set expectation, largely determined by him.

Not this one. They were taking as much time as they – or Geoff – needed. This wasn't a relationship he expected to fizzle out after a while. Geoff was special, worth waiting for, and they were both learning so much about the other in the process. Maybe he'd been guilty of making assumptions, but Geoff was more complex, more unfathomable, than he'd expected. Yes, his boyfriend's vulnerability was one of the first things that attracted him, but now there were so many other elements. He adored their making-out sessions, seeing his wonder and delight at discovering new sensations. Though he might still be sexually naif, Geoff had the makings of a partner who would complement him well in the bedroom. When they finally made it to the bedroom, which they would, in good time.

Tony sighed. Part of the reason for that train of thought was Stuart. Effing, bloody Stuart. After the phone call he'd taken at work, it was clear Geoff needed to know what was going on. He'd held off until that evening because of Geoff's interview. His man had been worked up enough without adding in the worry of Stuart. Of course, he wasn't a rival or anything remotely like it, but Geoff wasn't likely to see it that way. How to broach the subject? Tony rubbed his nose. Just a straightforward telling of what happened, and why seemed best. He'd then have to spend a lot of time reassuring his boyfriend.

Geoff was slowly improving on that score, he thought, but any progress was from a very low starting point. Perhaps it would lead on to talking about Geoff's sexual experiences? If he had any at all. It was a topic they hadn't talked about. Just as he hadn't regaled Geoff with tales of his former boyfriends. Geoff wasn't his first of course, far from it, and his boyfriend knew that. But he was most definitely the best.

Tony was allowing himself a re-reun of their weekend mutual explorations, when he became conscious of someone standing by the car, peering in. It was Geoff.

His boyfriend opened the passenger door of the 4x4. “Hi. I'm sorry. No buses for thirty minutes, then three of them turn up at once. You'd think they were operating a convoy system for some reason.”

Tony chuckled. “Hi, love. Perhaps they are, to protect themselves against a posse of irate passengers?”

“Hnh! Let's go in. It might be April, still bloody cold though.”

After supper – cooked by Geoff – the two men were still sitting in the kitchen. They were too full and relaxed to bother moving. Tony broke the companionable silence.

“That was very tasty. That spicy sausage gave the tomato sauce a real kick. And the fresh garlic.” He smiled. “Methinks you enjoy cooking pasta now.”

Geoff rolled his eyes. “Well, it's hardly cordon bleu cooking, is it? I feel reasonably confident with the pasta, and the sauce was from a recipe book. I enjoy the process of cooking – it's satisfying in itself.”

“Until it starts going wrong, you mean. I've had plenty of experiences when things have burnt, not cooked, or failed entirely. Then the only satisfaction comes from turning the air blue.”

“You're an infinitely better cook than I am.”

“Yeah? Well, I made a lot of mistakes on the way, and I'm still quite capable of destroying something if I put my mind to it.” Tony grimaced in wry amusement.

There was a pause. Tony decided it was as good a time as any to tell Geoff about Stuart. He took a deep breath.

“I had an unwanted, annoying phone call at work a week or so ago.”

Geoff looked across at him, eyebrows raised.

“It was from one of my exes, Stuart. He was phoning to say he was moving back into the area. He was hoping to wind me up by phoning out of the blue.”

The expression on Geoff's face reflected a mixture of alarm and anxiety.

Tony hurried on. “First off, I told him I was in a long-term relationship, and then, that I wanted nothing to do with him.”

His boyfriend was sitting very still, staring at him, hanging onto his every word. “But … why …?”

“Geoff, I love only you. And nothing will change that. Certainly not bloody Stuart – I'm long over him. We didn't make a good pair at all, and we certainly didn't part on good terms. I finished it, and he wasn't happy about it. …”

Geoff interrupted his boyfriend. “How am I any different from your other boyfriends? Did you say that to them as well? How do I know …” Geoff's voice trailed off – he couldn't finish the final question. His face was very flushed. “Sorry.”

Geoff's gaze dropped down to stare at the kitchen table.

“Have I offended you? It's just I need to know whether … ehm … whether …” Geoff's voice trailed off once more.

“Of course, you haven't offended me, Geoff.”

Tony sighed. It was going as badly as he feared. He was going to have to work hard to rescue the situation. Geoff had made a good point. He stood up, and held out his hand.

“Come on, love. Let's go into the living room – we can get more comfortable, and I'll answer your questions.”

The two men walked the short distance between the rooms, Tony with his arm around his boyfriend. But the as-yet-unanswered questions lingered between them, creating a tension. They sat on the sofa as usual. Tony kept his arm around Geoff's waist – he could feel his companion quivering with his barely-suppressed anxiety.

“Geoff, love. Look at me?”

Geoff did, but only for a moment before his eyes slid away to focus on something else.

“You know I've had several boyfriends in the past.” Smallest of nods. “None of them meant as much to me as you do. We complement each other so wonderfully. We're best friends as well as lovers. Don't you feel that?” Another small nod. “Well, it's the first time I've been lucky enough to experience that. With you. Geoff, you're sexy, loving, funny, handsome, a great musician, and I'm beginning to adore you.”

His boyfriend went his trademark pink, then looked up. Some of the anxiety had gone, but Tony felt he still needed reassurance.

“Yes, I said 'I love you' to them, but when I say it to you …” Tony waited until he had Geoff's complete attention. “It has a whole different level of meaning, of intensity. My dearest Geoff …” Geoff's blush deepened at the new endearment. “I hope we have a future together, as a couple. It is what I desire the most.”

Tony drew Geoff to him so they could kiss. The kiss continued until they both reluctantly drew apart.

“See?” Tony then nibbled at Geoff's neck, lapping and gently nipping at the flesh until Geoff shivered with the pleasure of it. “You turn me on like no-one else, love. And that's even before we've had sex.”

Geoff was flushed and apologetic. “I'm sorry I asked those questions. … I'm sorry I'm so insecure.”

Tony gave him a sideways hug. “You have every right to ask, love. I'd never bore you with the details of my times with my exes. The only thing you need to know is that you're the one for me.”

Geoff smiled, then started to whisper something.

“Sorry?” Tony couldn't quite hear.

Geoff tried again, a little louder this time. “I love you too. So much. You make me so happy.”

Tony cuddled him. “I know you do. And you make me very happy.”

He leaned in to rub noses with Geoff, which made his boyfriend giggle.

After a moment, Tony sighed again. “Back to Stuart.” His lip curled in distaste. “I hope he's taken my warning to heart. If he does think he can cause trouble, I'll be ready for him. He can't harm us, love. I won't let him.”

Geoff was starting to look worried again.

“There is nothing for you to get upset or worried about, Geoff. OK?”

Geoff nodded slowly, and the two men let the subject drop. They turned on the TV, but neither of them paid it much attention. Tony was trying to second-guess Stuart, and Geoff was still anxious that Tony's ex would somehow come between them.