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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Exes and Ohs - 7. Chapter 7 Another Man's Shoes

Evolution.

                                                                                                                                                                 ***

 

“Hey.”

Drake stood up as Richard approached. “Hey.”

“Is this okay? I didn’t mean to intrude.”

“You didn’t.” The sun was low on his left side, and it highlighted the amber eyes of the man who faced it, showing stark uncertainty. Drake felt no inclination to put him at ease.

“Will you sit and talk with me?”

“About what?”

“Us… what happened.”

“Do you really think that’s necessary?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Why?” Drake was finding he could hold the eye contact, and that fact calmed him.

“Jeez, I don’t know, Drake. I think we need—”

“If you say closure, I’m going to scream.” He softened his words with the smallest of smiles.

“Fair enough. Look, I have a good life, and I’m a lucky man in so many ways, but how we left things—the way I hurt you—it’s something that haunts me to this day.”

“So you think a few words will change that?”

“Honestly, I don’t know, but maybe. I’d like to try and explain, and you didn’t want to hear anything I had to say back then.”

“Fuck, do you blame me?” It came out sharp and angry, but Drake didn’t care.

“No, absolutely not. I know you think I screwed you over, but—”

“Because you did. You did screw me over!” He sat down hard, leaning forward with his head bent down toward his knees and his hands gripping the back of his neck.

“Are you okay?”

Drake’s head slowly rose. “No. I’m pissed. Quite frankly, I don’t give a shit that you’ve been feeling haunted.”

“I am so sorry.”

“Sorry? We talked about marriage and kids and everything else under the sun, but in all that time together you couldn’t manage to tell me you were bisexual? It’s great you’re sorry, though,” he said sarcastically.

He edged as far away as he could when Richard sat down beside him, and neither man said a word for a long minute.

“At the time, I really thought that’s how our lives would go, you know? That we would get married and build a life together.”

“Right… and what, keep your true nature hidden from me?”

“No… no… figuring out that stuff was a real struggle for me, I swear.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it was,” he said with more sarcasm. “I remember our last time together, before you ripped my heart out… do you?”

“Of course I do. I’ll never forget it.”

“Okay, then answer me this. How could you have been so fucking romantic, and tell me over and over how much you loved me—then two days later tell me we had no future and, oh yeah, you were in love with Bernadette? You strung me along like a fucking fool. I don’t know how you could do that when you knew… you fucking knew!”

“I did love you, Drake… and I needed to say it then, as often as I could, while I still had the chance. I was running out of time because I knew you’d never want to hear those words from me again. I’d planned to come clean about everything the next day, and that was my last chance. I… I wanted us to have one last day where I could pretend I didn’t have to let you go.”

“Let me go? Fuck you, Richard. You mean dump me.”

“It’s not how it felt to me,” Richard protested feebly.

“Whatever… it was a cruel thing to do, letting me think everything was great when you fucking knew we were done. And you didn’t tell me the next day.”

“No, I chickened out and stayed in my dorm. I knew what I had to do, but I couldn’t… it’s why I told you I wasn’t feeling well. I went through hell that day… I didn’t speak to anyone after I called you. I know how it looked, but I wasn’t stringing you along, and I didn’t mean to be cruel—”

“You can justify what you did it if helps you sleep at night, but don’t expect me too. And I don’t believe you ever really loved me.”

“Fuck, Drake, I loved you so much, and I still care about you… I always will.”

He didn’t respond, other than to shake his head in disbelief. It didn’t make sense. He’d made a choice, and it hadn’t been Drake.

“You don’t understand—”

“No, I don’t, so make me understand. Explain to me how my gay boyfriend fell in love with a woman while he was with me, and then threw me away with no warning whatsoever. Fucking explain that! Then again, don’t bother.” He started to stand up when a hand on his arm stopped him.

“Please, Drake. Let me at least try. I get why you hate me, but this may be the only chance we get.”

He hesitated, and slowly sat back down. He pictured Jimmy’s face, and the expression his friend would wear if he returned in this state of mind. “Go ahead. Give it a shot.” His voice had lost its disgusted edge, at least for the moment.

“Thank you. I… I didn’t know what was happening to me back then. Out of the blue, I started dreaming about women, and—”

“When you were with me?” he asked, interrupting.

“No, I don’t think so, at least not at first. Just when we spent nights in our own dorm rooms. The first few times, I thought it was no big deal. Mostly it was just body parts.”

“What, like boobs and pussy?” Drake couldn’t help feeling mortified. “Is that what you were thinking of when we were having sex?”

“Drake, no. Never. And it started out as things like a woman’s neck or throat, and lips… soft skin. I only thought about you when we were together, I swear. It was just dreams at first, but when it started happening more and more, I began to freak out. Remember when I talked to you about trying to get into the same dorm room?”

It took a moment for Drake to recall what Richard was talking about. “Yeah, I remember. The registrar said it couldn’t be done so late in the year, I think.”

“Exactly. Well, that was why I wanted to do it. I thought the dreams would stop if we slept together every night. I realize now they wouldn’t have, but, like I said, I was freaking out, especially when the body parts became girls at school… and then Bernadette.”

“Your old girlfriend,” Drake said softly. “The one who hooked up with Brian and dropped you over the phone. The one you said you hated.”

While blowing out a big breath, Richard said, “Yes.”

“As soon as you dreamt about her or any other girl in that way, you should have told me.”

“You’re right, but I told myself it was only dreams, and I didn’t understand what they meant. With Bernadette, I figured it was because we had two classes together and had started talking again. I thought I was getting, I don’t know… mixed up with memories of her and me back when we were together. I loved you so much.”

Drake huffed at the audacity. “Not as much as Bernadette it turned out.”

“That’s not true, but I don’t expect you to accept that.”

“If it's not, why was I the one to lose?”

“That’s the thing, Drake. As happy as I am with my life, I lost too.”

“Yeah, right,” he scoffed.

Richard hung his head in a gesture of defeat.

“Okay. So what made you decide I wasn’t who you wanted anymore?” He peered at the man as his head came back up.

“It wasn’t like that. I saw a therapist when it got too intense to ignore. She told me my sexuality was evolving, and it was something she'd seen a number of times.”

“When? When did you see a therapist?”

“Between classes on Wednesdays, at the Student Care building. I saw her some Fridays too. I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid of losing you.”

“What the hell did she mean?”

“It’s hard to explain it all.”

“Isn’t that why I’m still sitting here?”

“Yeah, it is, and I’m trying. Basically, she said because I was never interested in, or even looked at any guy other than you, my feelings likely had little to do with your gender.”

“I’m confused. So, you were bisexual?”

“Look… no. It’s not about labels, but if I was bi, maybe we could have worked. Anyway, she said it was possible to love someone of the same sex and still be straight. My true sexuality was exerting itself, and I could try to suppress it, but she didn’t recommend it… it would win out eventually.”

“I don’t get it.”

“I didn’t either for a while.” He exhaled loudly, and then swallowed a few times. Drake noticed his hands were trembling, but no sympathy arose. “Damn, Drake. This is hard. I know I’m doing a piss poor job of explaining. I wish I had taken you with me when I started seeing her. She suggested it, but I was terrified of you walking away from me.”

“I might have, but that was my decision to make, not yours. You had no right.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

“That’s your third sorry, and it means nothing to me. So, your sexuality was exerting itself… you mean you were becoming straight?”

“It took me a while to come to that conclusion, but yeah.”

“And how did you finally reach that conclusion?”

“A lot of things, Drake. I started noticing women when I was awake. I tried to convince myself I was fixating, and worrying too much, but I remembered what it was like to make love to them. They were having a constant effect on me.”

“Yet you were still having sex with me.” He shook his head in disgust.

“Yes, and it made me feel so guilty to have those thoughts, but honestly, I had no control over them. As much as I fought it, nothing worked. I must have wished them away a million times.”

“And you’re saying I was the only guy you’ve ever been interested in sexually?”

“Yes.”

“Lucky me,” he spat out bitterly. “How do you know you won’t be interested in some guy in the future?”

“I just know.”

“Like when you knew you were gay?”

“It happens more than you think, Drake. Sandra, my therapist, said it happens a lot where people fall in love with someone of the same sex, especially when they are young, but that’s not the gender they’re wired for. It’s the same as men who think they’re straight, but turn out gay. It’s called latent sexuality, and can happen at any time in a person’s life.”

“I know what latent is, but, fuck… we were together for so long.” He stood up and moved a couple of steps away, trying to stem those resurging feelings of betrayal. “You and Bernadette, how did that happen? You were sleeping with both of us?”

Richard stayed seated. “I’m not proud of it, but yes, we did sleep together once before I told you. I had to be sure, Drake… it was the final piece for me.”

Even after all this time, hearing those words hurt, but he made himself stand there and hear the man out.

“Bernadette and I had been talking for a couple of months… Sandra encouraged it because she said it would help me clarify stuff. It turned out Bernadette had always regretted what she’d done. She was going to try to win me back when she found out about you and me. She… backed away.”

“That’s so sweet of her. Sounds like a fucking fairy tale.”

“Drake—”

“Look, I’m not trying to be an ass. This is not a pleasant thing to be reliving. Fuck!” The urge to run got stronger, but he forced himself to stay put.

“You have every reason to hate me. I had no right to keep you in the dark. I was selfish, and I was a coward.”

“Fucking right I have every reason—you were a bastard to handle it the way you did. All this was happening behind my back, and I was the last to know when I should have been the first.”

Richard nodded, and Drake saw his shame. “I can second guess how I did what I did, and I do all the time, but yeah, you were the last to know. Drake?”

He met the man’s gaze, but said nothing.

“I know it’s no excuse, but I didn’t want to give in. I didn’t want to give you up.” The man looked truly shaken now.

“And yet you did.”

“It was the best thing I could do for you. I know it didn’t seem like it at the time, not really even to me, but I have no doubts now I did the right thing. But, fuck it hurt.”

“It hurt? Yeah, okay… if you say so… I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt there, but you had Bernadette. I had no one.”

“I know, I know, and I didn’t have a clue how you were doing because you wouldn’t talk to me. I asked around, but you weren’t talking to anyone.”

“Christ, Richard! Did you really expect me to?”

He dropped his head down and shook it before he softly uttered, “To me, no.”

“You have no idea how much you messed me up.”

“I wanted to be there for you, Drake, I really did. I kept hoping you would reach out, but…. That whole next year I hated myself. I felt like I didn’t deserve to be happy, and it almost ended Bernadette and me.

“She kept getting frustrated, and we fought a lot… I was trying to punish myself, but all I ended up doing was hurting her. Finally, I snapped out of it, thanks to more therapy. I was lucky she stuck with me through it all. She never gave up, despite me being a dick at times.”

Drake turned around, away from Richard, trying to calm down as he looked out over the darkening golf course. He was tired of being angry. “Doesn’t she worry you’ll… revert?”

“Revert?” Richard sounded surprised. “No, I don’t think so. She was worried at the beginning, when we first started talking, but Sandra helped her understand. She explained it all to her over the course of a few weeks, and it all began to fall into place for both of us.”

“You took her to see your therapist.” Drake turned to face him again, snorting at the same time. It didn’t seem fair, but none of this did.

“Yes, I did.” He had the decency to look guilty before he continued. “That was at Sandra’s urging too. But, and this is important for you to understand—I had to let you go even if there was no Bernadette. I wasn’t what you deserved.”

Drake studied the man, and saw the naked honesty on a face he knew well. “Well, that sounds noble.” He sighed and sat back down. What did it all matter now?

“It’s not noble at all. Once I was certain, I couldn’t live a lie.”

“Isn’t that what you were already doing?”

Richard nodded, and he looked miserable doing so. “Be honest, Drake. If there was no Bernadette, and I’d told you I was sexually attracted to women, how long would we have lasted? How long before trust would have been an issue?”

“It would have been a deal breaker for me.”

“And I knew that.”

Drake sighed. He’d heard enough. They’d been doomed from the start, and Richard was right to call himself selfish. He’d deserved better from the man. “Don’t you need to get back to your pregnant wife? Does she know you’re out here talking to me?”

“She does. I tell her everything. She pushed me to go find you and try to make things right. I’m not the only one who feels guilty, and you know she always liked you back when our group hung out together.”

Yeah, talking about his one-time friendship with Richard’s wife was not a place he wanted to go. It had ended the first time Richard asked him out. “Well, I should get back. Dean’s a worrier.”

“He seems like a nice guy, and he’s handsome. You two look good together… like you’re really in love.”

“You think so?” Drake cringed and looked away quickly as he thought of their charade and how convincing it was.

“Aren’t you? Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing’s wrong. Why are you asking me that?”

“Sorry, but your expression changed and—”

“I have trust issues, and they get in the way.” It was as honest a response as he could give.

“I’m sorry. That’s my fault, isn’t it?”

“What do you want me to say, Richard? It is what it is… love isn’t always enough.”

“No, I guess not. It wasn’t enough for us, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t for you guys. Our situation was a lot different.”

Was it? If Richard only knew. He needed some time to think. “Dean’s a great guy, the best, and he’ll be wondering if I’m okay.”

“It’s easy to see how much you mean to him.”

This conversation was heading into territory he didn’t want to go. Pretending to be a couple was becoming more uncomfortable by the minute. He wished… ah, he wasn’t sure what he wished anymore. Drake rubbed his hands together, not knowing how to respond.

“Okay, well thank you for hearing me out. Did it change anything for you?”

“I don’t know if it did, but I guess talking was a good idea. I still think you went about it all wrong. I deserved honesty from the beginning… but… I won’t make light of what you went through even if I don’t fully understand it.”

“Do you still hate me?”

“I… I’m not as angry. I hated what you did to me, but it sounds like it wasn’t easy for you either. You know me, and the one thing that hasn’t changed is how I take my time working through stuff.”

“I understand, and that’s as much as I can ask for.”

Drake was reminded of Jimmy’s words earlier that day at the pool. He’d said basically the same thing.

They sat for another minute before Richard spoke again. “I should go. Bernadette will probably want to get home. She wouldn’t have missed seeing her favorite cousin get married, but she tires easily.”

Drake nodded in the fading light, and stood up. “Rocco’s lucky to have a girl like Rachel.”

“Yeah, he is, and he knows it. Do you think I could have a hug?”

“Um, sure.”

Richard always gave great hugs, and this time was no different. Drake never expected to find himself in this man’s arms again, yet here he was, and the scent of him was shockingly familiar.

It was surreal, and it got even more so when after loosening his grip, Richard leaned in and kissed him. It was light and chaste, but when he followed up with another one immediately, Drake felt something different as lips moved across his in a real kiss.

He stepped away immediately, glaring at widened eyes of troubled amber. “What the hell was that?”

Richard faltered, and remorse spread across his face. “Oh, God. I don’t know why I did that. I’m so sorry. Oh, God.”

Drake took in the ashen color change, noticeable even in the fading light, and was surprised he finally felt some sympathy for his ex. “It’s okay. Calm down. It was unexpected, but it’s not like you assaulted me or anything.”

“Still, I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have, so why the fuck did you?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t?” Drake asked, challenging the man.

“Okay… I guess I do. Having you in my arms again felt good. I miss you, Drake… I love my wife, and I would never betray her, but you’re still in my heart.” The anguish he displayed sure looked genuine. “I’m sorry I got carried away.”

Drake absorbed the brevity of his declaration, wondering at how much weight he could place on Richard’s earlier words. Was his sexual identity really resolved? Was Bernadette going to have her world torn apart sometime in the future like his had been? Sighing, he felt the weight of the day descend on him. “It’s all right. No harm done.”

“Can I just ask… do you still feel anything for me?”

Drake was taken aback at both the question, and the fact Richard was asking it. What the hell was going on with him? He sighed once more, meeting an indecipherable gaze. This man had been his world for years, and he decided he would give him an answer, even if he wasn’t sure he deserved one. Maybe he needed it for his own closure. “You were the love of my life once, Richard, but you aren’t anymore. I do want you to be happy, I suppose, but that’s all that’s left for you in my heart.”

Now the man looked sheepish… and something else Drake couldn’t quite read. “That’s what I thought. I am happy, and I want the same for you. Can I… would it be all right if I text you once in a while? Keep in touch, maybe?”

Another question Drake hadn’t expected. Was Richard expecting complete absolution? He had to bite back the urge to tell him to fuck off. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Okay, I understand.” He looked down, but not before Drake saw his disappointment.

He instantly felt petty, and his traitorous mouth spoke in spite of his brain’s reservations. “We could try it, I guess.”

Richard's head rose. “Really? Thanks. I promise I won’t bug you, but I was thinking I could text you a picture of our daughter once she’s born, if you want?”

“Daughter?”

“Yeah, no one else has been told, but there’s no harm in you knowing. Besides, because of today, she’ll be your distant cousin by marriage.” A tentative smile appeared.

“She will?”

“Yeah, I think so. Your cousin married Bernadette’s cousin, so….”

“Oh, right. I don’t know how that works.”

“Me neither, to tell you the truth.” He smiled again, this time a little broader.

“Anyway, congratulations on having a girl. You always did say you wanted a daughter. I’m glad you got your wish.” Drake was pleased to realize he actually meant it… and felt no bitterness whatsoever. Richard would be a good father.

“Thanks. We’re going to call her Olivia… still discussing the middle name, though.”

“Pretty name. Yes, I would like a picture of her.”

“Okay, then I’ll make sure you get one. Thank you, Drake. It means a lot that you were willing to hear me out. If you ever need anything, or someone to talk to—”

“Take care, Richard,” he said quickly, interrupting, and effectively dismissing him. One thing he was sure of… his ex would be the last person Drake would ever turn to, or confide in. He watched as the man turned and walked away, slowly at first, before picking up the pace. He wondered again about the kiss, and what it really meant. Was Richard in denial? If he was a betting man, he’d be tempted put money on that being the case.

 

 

*

Thank you to my editor, Timothy M., for all he does. Thanks as well to all the readers for your engagement with, and support of, this story. Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts on this chapter if you can. Cheers... Gary....
Copyright © 2018 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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  On 4/11/2018 at 7:31 PM, Drew Espinosa said:

First, the first kiss was chaste, something you would give a friend or family member, and therefore inoffensive. The second kiss, however, was definitely more passionate on Richard's part, and Drake immediately put a stop to it.

 

Second, Drake nearly told Richard to fuck off when he asked if he could text Drake. It was only after he thought that would be petty, that he reluctantly said they could try it.

 

This doesn't speak of a man who still harbors feelings for another.

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:D  Can you write my replies for me, Drewbear?  You have it exactly right, in my opinion. Thank you. :hug: And thank you for paying so much attention and being so invested. I love how all the readers are getting involved in the story and the characters. :heart: 

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  On 4/11/2018 at 7:43 PM, Dodger said:

I know what you're saying Drew and logic says that you're right. In which case life would be so easy but with relationships and especially ex-relationships logic goes out of the window. He probably wants nothing more than to hate Richard but he doesn't.

Confrontational no, of course not. We're having a difference of opinion. Life would be boring if we all thought the same. :hug:

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Another great point, Dodger! There is not a lot of logic in dealing with exes. We are usually ruled by memories and pain and regrets and sadness, and logic is seldom at the forefront. What helped here was that a good amount of time had passed. I think he started the conversation hating Richard, but by the end he saw it wasn't worth the effort.  Did Jimmy play a part in him being able to reach that point... I would put forth he was. It would have been a different talk if Jimmy wasn't waiting to lend his support. This time, Drake has someone. :)  I love the interaction between the readers. :heart: 

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  On 4/14/2018 at 1:22 AM, Bucket1 said:

The judgement stuff is real, still stupid but real.

 

Yes, Drake needs to grow up. Being slightly harsh, during his conversation with Jimmy, he was was a little kid with his fingers in his ears saying “I can’t hear you”. 

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Hey, B. I see it from a different perspective, but I can't argue with yours. Drake is listening, but his fears prevent him from responding the way he'd like to. The way we would like him to. He has been a lost little boy, cutting off his nose to spite his face. Even the most intelligent of us can resort to pulling inward. Drake's been doing it a long time now, and he's good at it. :(  Thanks, B :hug: 

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  On 4/15/2018 at 4:55 PM, Headstall said:

Hey, B. I see it from a different perspective, but I can't argue with yours. Drake is listening, but his fears prevent him from responding the way he'd like to. The way we would like him to. He has been a lost little boy, cutting off his nose to spite his face. Even the most intelligent of us can resort to pulling inward. Drake's been doing it a long time now, and he's good at it. :(  Thanks, B :hug: 

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I found the difference between the two conversations almost mirrored or complementary. The discussion with Jimmy was resisted, faught against, he didn’t want to hear it or maybe more correctly he didn’t want to deal with it. The Richard convo was a necessary evil, the bitter tasting medicine Drake knew he had to take before moving on. Both uncomfortable, both resisted in their own way but Drake's responses were different.

 

The conversation with Jimmy has not finished...

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  On 4/15/2018 at 6:23 PM, Bucket1 said:

I found the difference between the two conversations almost mirrored or complementary. The discussion with Jimmy was resisted, faught against, he didn’t want to hear it or maybe more correctly he didn’t want to deal with it. The Richard convo was a necessary evil, the bitter tasting medicine Drake knew he had to take before moving on. Both uncomfortable, both resisted in their own way but Drake's responses were different.

 

The conversation with Jimmy has not finished...

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Excellent observation, B. Richard doesn't scare Drake anymore... Jimmy does. The difference is stark. With Jimmy, Drake is entrenched... with Richard. you're right... he saw it more as a necessary evil... and no... the conversation with Jimmy likely isn't over... :X  :hug:  

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  On 4/17/2018 at 12:42 PM, Kitt said:

:facepalm:You do have a way of tying a wicked knot for your poor characters to try and unravel!

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Moi? :whistle:  Hehe. I must admit I am enjoying the delving into human drama of this sort. It's helping me resist a Sci Fi epic that's lurking. Sorry for causing contortions... not. :P  I'm no boy scout, but having horses, I can tie a decent knot. :D  Thanks, Kitt... cheers... Gary.... 

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  On 4/17/2018 at 11:22 PM, Dmrman said:

Spikey... I had a really hard, hard, hard time deciding to laugh( which I ended with) or give a heart... I totally understand the frustration and well just putting my hands around his neck and taking care of the issue for good... he played the Victim part and well I would have loved to end his role for him...!!! amazing to know such people exist and may even be worse in their own way...! My nicest response to Richard would be to Put him on Ice no Cake for his party, as rotten as a douchebag is it's still being way to kind to him... I have my own Ideas how he should be handled... I can't share them cause I'd have to kill ya...Lmao... thanks for the energetic lift though I think I can carry out the Mission Now...????:rofl::rofl::lmao::lol::rofl::rofl: And well Gary has Raised the Friction Bar to Destroy Mode... so I say he did Grate... Now on to the next chapter I just hope Richard has no Balls to show up again so soon... before ALL  of us have cooled down..!!!:unsure2::facepalm::lol:

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LOL. Yeah, spikey calls it like he sees it. :yes:  And, he usually makes me chuckle. This is a story about imperfect people, and Richard is definitely one of those. Still, as much as some will disagree, I don't think he's a monster. I see what happened to him as tragic, and while we all see what the right thing to do was... the way to handle it... we weren't in the obvious panic Richard was. Hence the title of this chapter. 

 

Thanks for the great and amusing comment, buddy... cheers... Gary....

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That conversation was amazing. I could feel the tightness in my chest, so I can just imagine what those boys felt. 

 

I actually don't hate Richard. He is trying his best. He made some dumb mistakes, but haven't we all. It sucks to be in love with two people at the same time. Richard is probably a Kinsey 2, and Drake was collateral damage. I think the bi thing is a cop out. Would he have handled it better if Richard had left him for another man?  The last dinner date was a very dick move, but I truly felt Richards anguish. 

 

No matter what Drake thinks of ”closure" he needed this conversation. He also needs to keep Richard at arms length. 

 

I love this story. 

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  On 4/18/2018 at 8:27 PM, Potterslashfan said:

That conversation was amazing. I could feel the tightness in my chest, so I can just imagine what those boys felt. 

 

I actually don't hate Richard. He is trying his best. He made some dumb mistakes, but haven't we all. It sucks to be in love with two people at the same time. Richard is probably a Kinsey 2, and Drake was collateral damage. I think the bi thing is a cop out. Would he have handled it better if Richard had left him for another man?  The last dinner date was a very dick move, but I truly felt Richards anguish. 

 

No matter what Drake thinks of ”closure" he needed this conversation. He also needs to keep Richard at arms length. 

 

I love this story. 

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Thanks, buddy! I love writing dialogue. I get so involved. :)  You felt what I hoped readers would. That anguish was real, and yes Richard was flawed, and made mistakes, but it was not a good position to be in no matter how it was dealt with. 

 

In Drake's mind, sleeping with women and enjoying it, means it would one day happen again. It's a given to him... not fair, but it's where he's at.  he sees his chances being better with a gay man... again, we can see the folly, but....

 

Thanks for all the great comments and your enthusiasm for the story, Potterslashfan. You've made my day, and you still have one chapter to read before you're caught up. :D  Cheers... Gary....

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  On 4/18/2018 at 8:36 PM, Headstall said:

Thanks, buddy! I love writing dialogue. I get so involved. :)  You felt what I hoped readers would. That anguish was real, and yes Richard was flawed, and made mistakes, but it was not a good position to be in no matter how it was dealt with. 

 

In Drake's mind, sleeping with women and enjoying it, means it would one day happen again. It's a given to him... not fair, but it's where he's at.  he sees his chances being better with a gay man... again, we can see the folly, but....

 

Thanks for all the great comments and your enthusiasm for the story, Potterslashfan. You've made my day, and you still have one chapter to read before you're caught up. :D  Cheers... Gary....

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You may love writing dialogue, but your exposition is top notch. The vivid imagery you invoke without being over the top is something I've noticed and wish I could emulate. I'm working on my first story that I hope to publish here, and I'm actually getting writing tips just by reading your work. 🤗

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  On 4/18/2018 at 8:54 PM, Potterslashfan said:

You may love writing dialogue, but your exposition is top notch. The vivid imagery you invoke without being over the top is something I've noticed and wish I could emulate. I'm working on my first story that I hope to publish here, and I'm actually getting writing tips just by reading your work. 🤗

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Thank you so much, Potterslashfan! I've worked hard at my writing, and I, too, have learned from other authors. My approach is to show more than tell, but don't leave a reader wondering about setting, background, history or whatever. The times I have to inform a reader, I try to include it subtly... in dialogue, character actions, character thoughts, and of course narration. A timely but slow reveal works best to not overwhelm the reader, and I work on that constantly. I look back on my first story and shake my head. I'm still proud of it, but I have progressed so far. That said, I have learned to trust my instincts. Yes, the key is reading and paying attention to go with a solid work ethic. I'm stoked by your words... this is just wonderful to hear. I wish you all the best with your writing. Cheers... and at the risk of repeating myself... THANK YOU! Gary....

  On 4/26/2018 at 9:31 PM, Defiance19 said:

Whaaa! 

I get Richard’s explanation, and it makes sense to a certain degree. He would have had me, if not for the kiss. What the hell was that bullshit! 

I mean, no wonder he confused Drake. 

Moving along...

 

 

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LOL. Yeah, he did that... we can't see inside Richard's head, but it could be that he's telling the truth when he tries to explain the kiss. Still, it was inappropriate as hell. I understand sexual confusion and latency, so I got Richard's panic over what was happening to him... and I believe Drake finally saw that side of things too. I'm proud he hung in and actually listened. The depth of his pain makes sense to me. Now Drake has to sort it all out... thanks, Def, and cheers... Gary.... :hug: 

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Absolutely riveting G. I'm so glad Drake had the courage to hear him out. Richard was unforgivably selfish, making sure that he was fully comfortable with the sex he was having with Bernadette before he ditched Drake. I can accept that Richard didnt say anything about his initial dreams of female body parts. I don't think many, or even any, of us would be comfortable sharing every minute detail that goes through our minds.

But the second Richard went to therapy and brought someone along, that person had to be Drake. It was most definitely Drake's decision to make, not Richards. When he brought Bernadette along instead, that was the fundamental action of a cheat. The fact that the therapist encouraged and proceeded with it, is the fundamental reason why I hold them in such low regard. They have no place directing life choices of two people based on their own personal understanding of current thinking, however flawed that may be, and especially when one of the main parties is absent.

It makes me far more sympathetic towards Drake. 

It was incredible that Richard had the audacity to ask if Drake still had feelings for him. He wants everyone's adoration.

I'm fine with Drake being happy for Richard's family but not with offering him comfort as a text friend. Not wanting to do that is not petty, its the grown up act of having chosen your bed and lying in it. Richard wants to keep his cake and eat it.

I really think Drake needed to draw a line under their past and make it clear that both needed to move on without the expectation of further contact. It's clear that future contact is going to hurt Richard for sure but may harm Drake too.

The kiss could actually be a powerful start to Drake's recovery. Drake was being naive about the complexities of latent sexuality and maybe now realises that it may be far more confusing and wider spread than he has so far been prepared to admit. He probably is more sympathetic of the struggles he witnesses in Richard and a little less black and white about the class of partner he will or will not accept in future.

Once Drake realises that trust is something that is independent of sexual orientation, the blinkers should fall away and leave him viewing people in a new light based on how affectionate and loving they are (there's hope yet Jimmy).

Thank you for forcing us to think about what is important to each of us, in this dramatic dialogue G. Ever thought of becoming a therapist? Well don't! You know my thoughts on them now 😉

Edited by Bard Simpson
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  On 11/4/2019 at 12:07 AM, Bard Simpson said:

Absolutely riveting G. I'm so glad Drake had the courage to hear him out. Richard was unforgivably selfish, making sure that he was fully comfortable with the sex he was having with Bernadette before he ditched Drake. I can accept that Richard didnt say anything about his initial dreams of female body parts. I don't think many, or even any, of us would be comfortable sharing every minute detail that goes through our minds.

But the second Richard went to therapy and brought someone along, that person had to be Drake. It was most definitely Drake's decision to make, not Richards. When he brought Bernadette along instead, that was the fundamental action of a cheat. The fact that the therapist encouraged and proceeded with it, is the fundamental reason why I hold them in such low regard. They have no place directing life choices of two people based on their own personal understanding of current thinking, however flawed that may be, and especially when one of the main parties is absent.

It makes me far more sympathetic towards Drake. 

It was incredible that Richard had the audacity to ask if Drake still had feelings for him. He wants everyone's adoration.

I'm fine with Drake being happy for Richard's family but not with offering him comfort as a text friend. Not wanting to do that is not petty, its the grown up act of having chosen your bed and lying in it. Richard wants to keep his cake and eat it.

I really think Drake needed to draw a line under their past and make it clear that both needed to move on without the expectation of further contact. It's clear that future contact is going to hurt Richard for sure but may harm Drake too.

The kiss could actually be a powerful start to Drake's recovery. Drake was being naive about the complexities of latent sexuality and maybe now realises that it may be far more confusing and wider spread than he has so far been prepared to admit. He probably is more sympathetic of the struggles he witnesses in Richard and a little less black and white about the class of partner he will or will not accept in future.

Once Drake realises that trust is something that is independent of sexual orientation, the blinkers should fall away and leave him viewing people in a new light based on how affectionate and loving they are (there's hope yet Jimmy).

Thank you for forcing us to think about what is important to each of us, in this dramatic dialogue G. Ever thought of becoming a therapist? Well don't! You know my thoughts on them now 😉

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Thanks, buddy. I'm glad you found it riveting. As far as this therapist, she did try to convince Richard to include Drake in the session. He refused out of fear he would lose Drake. And yes, she encouraged later that he bring Bernadette... I think a reasonable approach for a client in such turmoil. Richard was the one who kept Drake out of the loop. It's impossible to defend the man, but I would hope he is at least understood. He was a man in panic... and he acted in a desperate and selfish way. I acted differently, but I get the panic. :) Overall, I believe Drake, being Drake, handled the situation well. He took the high road when he didn't need to, and I think he really did finally understand the plight of Richard, which you pointed out. Latency is real. 

As far as Drake's blinkers :X  We'll see. I think some things have been clarified, but the fact is, that kiss would seem to back up his stance that Richard is bi. Knowing Drake, he will get inside his own head for a while. :(  

Dramatic dialogue? :D  No, I've never wanted to be a therapist, but my friends have dubbed me 'Dear Abby' for years. :P 

Great and intuitive comment, Bard... thanks and cheers... Gary....

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  On 4/10/2018 at 12:13 AM, droughtquake said:

Olivia Drakina? Olivia Drakita? Olivia Drakette? Olivia Drakesita? Olivia Dracena? Olivia DrakainaNot Olivia Dracula! Not Olivia Dracaena! 😉

 

Does Drake have a middle name that can be feminized easier? 😉

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Drake is a male and female name. For a female it means popularity  or the female duck is actually called duck and for a male it is male duck and also popularity. The female duck gets no respect like a male duck. lol And that came from the wikipedia lol

Edited by Story Reader
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  On 1/1/2021 at 5:57 PM, Story Reader said:

Drake is a male and female name. For a female it means popularity and for a male it is male duck and also popularity

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I've never heard Drake used as a girl's name, but it is commonplace to use the same name for each gender. For example, I just heard of a Jimmy that was a girl. :)  

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