The Year I Stopped Being Invisible - 30. Chapter 30

The rest of Wednesday night passed fairly uneventfully. I went home around ten, did a little homework, and fell asleep after thinking over all of the things which Taine had told me earlier in the evening. I went over to Linda's house on Thursday after school, and we rehearsed our Duet for the next day's tournament until we felt like we had it completely down and had regained the effortless spontaneity of our first run-throughs.

There's a certain rhythm to acting, where the first rehearsals are about getting the characters to the right physical place, the right emotional pitch, and so forth. The middle ones are about hammering in all the nails and cementing every gesture, expression and intonation, so those run-throughs tend to be the least spontaneous. Finally, right before it's time to perform, the last rehearsals are about regaining the spontaneity which was lost during the cementing process, so the piece feels fresh and new again.

We felt that we had achieved that spontaneity at around nine o'clock on Thursday night, so we decided to call it quits and work on our individual events separately. I hugged Linda goodbye, then jumped on my bike and rode home, where I ran through Titanic and my oratory for the next ninety minutes. When I felt I was sufficiently well-rehearsed, I called Taine to tell him goodnight, then went to sleep.

I awoke excited and ready for my first high-school tournament, donning my tailored three-piece charcoal grey suit with blue pinstripes over a white button-down shirt and my lucky dark red tie, which had seen me through several impressive tournament showings in middle school. Slipping on my shiny black Italian loafers -- a gift from my grandmother in Maryland -- I examined myself in the mirror and deemed myself ready for action as my pre-tournament tape blasted from my stereo, another ritual carried over from middle school.

Fame!

I'm gonna live forever

Baby, remember my name!

Fame!

Grabbing my school books in one hand, I pumped my fist in the air with the other as the cassette spooled to the end and began to rewind. I was psyched, confident, and ready. Now all I needed to do was get through my morning classes, as the school bus which was taking our team to Foxrun wouldn't leave until 12:30.

The classes dragged for me, as I couldn't wait to get going. I was bursting with energy by the time I zoomed through the lunch line and made my way to our usual table, where Taine was looking at me with an amused smirk.

"What?" I grinned as I pulled out my chair and sat down.

"Look at Mr. Fancy Pants," Taine teased. "You look like you're ready to go sue somebody."

I laughed, as I had completely forgotten that I was wearing a suit and tie.

"Well," I joked, "if those judges don't vote me through to the finals in every event, I'm gonna sue them for extreme stupidity!"

Taine shook his head and returned his attention to that day's lunch, which appeared to be a breaded shoe pretending to be a veal cutlet. I forced mine down and most of his as well, happy that I had bought an extra carton of chocolate milk that day. The cutlets were filling, but hideous.

"I don't know how you eat so much and stay so skinny," Taine commented. "You should weigh 300 pounds."

"Would you still love me if I weighed 300 pounds?" I asked.

Taine grinned.

"More than anything," he said. "What about if I weighed 300 pounds? Would you still want to be with me?"

I looked into his eyes, a loving smile playing on my lips. Last night's deep conversations had brought us closer than ever, and I was going to miss him that weekend.

"More than everything," I replied. "Hey, listen, if I make it to the finals tomorrow, do you think you and Sly might want to come watch? It's open to family and friends, and I know Rex and Tynah won't come."

Taine nodded somewhat sadly, knowing that the day that Rex came to watch me "dancing around the maypole" would be a cold one in Hell.

"Sure," he said. "Foxrun's not that far away, and I know my Dad will want to see you perform as much as I do."

"Great! It'd really be awesome to have you both there. It'll give me extra inspiration!"

"You don't need any extra inspiration. I haven't seen your Duet, but Titanic and the speech are both damn good. You'll do great."

"Thanks," I replied, genuinely moved by his support. I hadn't had much encouragement in my tournament activities outside of the actual forensics team, and it was really good to finally get some, especially from Taine.

That's why what I said next was so wrong, so stupid, and so unforgivably thoughtless.

What I said was, "Oh, yeah, and if you come, do you think you can maybe not wear your hat in the auditorium? It's kind of frowned upon."

Taine's eyes narrowed, and he looked as if I had hit him with a brick. He stared at me for a moment, and even then I didn't realize how much I had hurt him, or even why he might have been hurt.

"Fine," he said quietly, returning his attention to his french fries.

"Great!" I blithely stumbled on, oblivious as a metal post. "It'll be really cool having you there...if I get to finals, that is. Well, listen, I gotta go, Babes. Have a great day!"

There was no response. The brim of the cap had come down, and I had been dismissed, so I jauntily strolled out of the cafeteria to meet the rest of the team outside by the bus, not a care in the world for the damage I had just caused.

I wouldn't learn it until later, but I had just added another sharpened barb to my sweet, wonderful boy's painful and wounding wires.

* * * * *

Raymond and Robin were practicing their debate arguments in the parking lot when I arrived, while Carter and Linda were already seated on the bus, cooing sweet nothings to each other. I boarded the bus and moved quickly past Kathy, but she grabbed my arm, stopping me next to the seat she was sharing with Mark.

"Ready to make a big bang, Little One?" she asked suggestively.

"Yeah," I said absently. "I think I'm ready."

"Good," she cooed. "Maybe if you get a trophy, Mark and I will give you a prize of our own."

I looked over to see Mark licking his lips, an expression of lust in his half-closed eyes as he rubbed the crotch of his jeans. I knew he couldn't afford a suit, and felt bad for him, knowing that he'd never advance at the tournament dressed as he was, regardless of how well he might perform.

"Mmmm," he groaned, staring at my groin. "I love virgin dick."

I laughed, rolling my eyes and shaking my head as I moved toward the back of the bus. There were a few people on the bus whom I had never met, as the Speech and Drama teams didn't mingle very much with the exception of Kathy and Raymond, who were competitive in both areas.

I nodded to one intense-looking young debater who appeared to be my age, and he smiled at me, pleased to be meeting a fellow freshman. As he did so, some of his index cards fell from his lap and landed at my feet. I bent over to help pick them up and was slapped on the ass by Cindy Romaine as I did so.

"Whatcha doin', Rick?" she asked with a grin. "Showing off your goods already?"

Cindy was a gorgeous, petite blonde with a perfect figure and golden, tanned skin. She was also just as frisky and naughty as the boys in the Drama department, a fact which tickled and delighted me. If there was one woman on the planet I would have wanted to have fun with all night long, it was Cindy Romaine.

"Only for you, Cindy," I replied with a leer. "Only for you. No, I was just helping...uhm..."

I looked down at the freshman debater for help. He grinned and extended his hand for a shake.

"Pablo Silverstein," he said.

"Rick Spivey," I replied, shaking his hand. "Are you only doing LD?"

Pablo was clearly a Lincoln-Douglas debater, and some of our LD kids only entered tournaments in debate, mostly because they thought it would look good on college applications.

"No," Pablo said, "I'm doing Extemp as well. I was going to enter Oratory, but my speech really wasn't ready and Mr. McRory thought it might be better to wait. What are you doing?"

"Humorous, Oratory and Duet," I answered. "I was thinking about maybe taking Debate class next semester. LD looks really fun, not all complex and crazy like team debate."

Cindy rolled her eyes and went back to practicing her Poetry Reading selection.

"It is fun," Pablo said, "but not this topic. You'll be glad you waited."

"What's the topic?"

"'Resolved: the economic health of a nation is more important than the social programs for its citizens.' What a pain in the ass. If you have to do the affirmative, you pretty much look like a heartless prick, and if you get the negative, you look like a bleeding-heart liberal. It's a really bad topic."

"Doesn't it change at some point in the season?"

"Yeah," he said. "Not till January though. The next one is something about victims' rights in felony cases. We can research it together if you want."

"That'd be cool," I said, and as I left Pablo and wandered to the back of the bus, I decided that Debate would definitely be on my class list for the spring.

"Hello, Mrs. Premise!" I trilled to Carter, who grinned back as Linda looked to the heavens for guidance.

* * * * *

The bus took off at 12:45 as planned, heading for Foxrun, where we would gather in the cafeteria to receive our tournament sectioning guides -- known to us as "poop books" -- before heading to our first rounds of competition, scheduled for 3:15. Eventually, everyone stopped practicing and just relaxed, Roger and Jim blasting heavy metal from Roger's giant portable radio.

Well I've said it before, and I'll say it again

You get nothing for nothing: expect it when

You're backseat driving, and your hands ain't on the wheel

Carter went up to join Roger and Jim, completing their air-guitar trio as they rocked out and banged their heads, which looked pretty funny in their awkwardly-fitting suits.

It's easy to go along with the crowd

And find later on that your say ain't allowed

Oh that's the way to find what you've been missing

"Boys will be boys," Linda sighed, then turned to face me. "How's your boy?"

"He's good, thanks," I replied. "He and Sly might come see us if we make the finals, so let's be really good in prelims and semis!"

"Rick, my darling," said Linda, patting my knee reassuringly, "you have the best Duet partner in the world, and I will never let you down. Your boy will see you shine like a flaming comet in the heavens."

"I do not flame," I said, pretending to pout. "I am your he-man Duet partner, and I will fill the auditorium with my massive, manly balls."

Linda threw an arm across her forehead, pretending to faint.

"Oh, Mister Spivey, not that! My delicate feminine sensibilities will be crushed by your enormous gonads!"

We Drama kids were an odd breed.

The bus rolled on to Foxrun, with me laughing hysterically in the back with Linda, not realizing that I had left behind a very upset, frustrated and hurt Taine Maxwell back at Polk High.

So I'm heading out to the highway

I got nothing to lose at all

I'm gonna do it my way

Take a chance before I fall

A chance before I fall!