Mate me - 2. Vulnerable

“You met someone.” Uncle Robert announced as I entered the kitchen. I was surprised by his general interest. My uncle was a man of few words and most of the words he did speak were really just grunts. He wasn’t one to take interest in who I spent my time with, but to be fair other than a few one night stands, I spent most of my time alone, working or with Darren. I didn’t begrudge my uncle for his parenting style. After all I was grown and after my mother died, he took me in and made a point to reunite with his former pack. I appreciated his effort. Wolves weren’t exactly known for their compassion, his previous title had been Beta, I think he was third or fourth in command. Despite being strong, he was now somewhere closer to the bottom, in terms of hierarchy. This was because leaving the pack is treason. I guess we were lucky they took him back. This wasn’t lost on me. Anyways, he was the only living relative I had left, he was just a little rough around the edges but I wouldn’t have him any other way.

“Someone stole my clothes.” He was sitting at the kitchen table nursing a cup of coffee and reading a book, probably a carpentry manual. He was the local handyman. Some of the residents considered him the best. He growled a little. If I didn't know him I'd say it was menacing.

“It was Peter, that little shit.”

“It’s fine.”

“No it’s not fine, those assholes have been fucking with you for too long.”

“He’s the alpha’s son, you’ll just make it worse. I can handle it.” I could without a doubt take Peter and his cronies if I had to. However, that asshole hid behind his Alpha father so in reality I was screwed. Peter Turnbull was a little shit but I wasn't too concerned with him. He mostly did juvenile pranks like steal my clothes after a run. Or put toilet paper in my water bottle. Yea he got under my skin. I hated them all, but it was my mission not to let it show. I shook my head. “Anyways, I don’t care about that. I ran into this girl, she insisted I borrow her clothes.”

“Insisted?” Even though he smirked, I could tell he was still angry.

“I couldn’t shake her off she was too-uh…” I stopped myself from saying irresistible.

“Too?”

“Nice.”

“I’m sure she was.” He snorted, returning to his book. My uncle looked like my father, or so I'd been told. I never met my father. My uncle had jet black hair and blue eyes. My mother on the other hand was fair all over, hair and skin, with pale blue eyes. I resembled the men in my family. “Eat, you must be hungry after the run.” On weekends sometimes the young people in the pack get together for a run. Usually I would opt out, but last night my wolf was restless and anxious. I couldn’t stop pacing, so I decided to join the run. It wasn’t a real run, It’s not like I was running with the alpha or the older betas of the pack. This was just a bunch of hormonal 20 somethings just trying to burn off some extra energy. I haven’t been able to settle my wolf since I first began scenting her two weeks ago.

“So who is this girl? I don't think I know her.” He discreetly sniffed the air.

“Probably not she just moved here two weeks ago.” He nodded.

“There’s some leftovers in the fridge, pizza.” A staple in this household.

“In a bit. My clothes are upstairs?” My uncle didn’t look up but I could tell his features darkened.

“Peter stopped by with your clothes.” He took a deep sigh. “Tell me the truth, do you need me to talk to the Alpha?”

“No.” I grinned “As far as I’m concerned, they did me a favour.” Uncle Robert snorted.

“If they give you more trouble…” I took a deep breath and nodded. He meant well but I saw his comfort as a sign of weakness. I could handle myself. Besides there wasn't much he could do. He practically betrayed the alpha by leaving and even though it was the current alpha’s father he walked out on, I doubt my uncle’s word held any weight against his son.

“Thanks. I’m good.” We were outcasts, the townspeople the non wolf half anyway, were more pleasant to us than our own pack members. Despite the overwhelming dismissal of our pack members my uncle insisted that being in a pack was much better than being alone. Even a crappy pack at that. I wasn't so sure about that. I came from a long line of lone wolves, my mother’s father, my father I'm assuming and my uncle, were all lone wolves. Even my mother sort of was one, she had me though, we had each other.

 ***

When I reached my room I was immediately drawn to the pile of clothes on my bed. Uncle Robert must’ve hung up my leather jacket. My binder was still intact. I checked my jeans pocket and pulled out my phone. Relief washed over me. There was a flashing message on the screen. It was from her. My heart pounded in my chest. I took in a few quick breaths and opened the messenger application on my phone. With tingling fingers, I pulled up a text from an unknown contact.

‘Hey Riley it’s Jacs, just making sure you have my number.’ Okay pretty low key nothing really to read into. Still, I felt special. Smiling I responded.

‘Thanks for the lift, and the clothes, and for not making me feel like a crazy person.’ I was absolutely horrible at texting but I somehow managed a normal response without overthinking it, too much. I threw my phone down and fell backwards onto my bed. I was determined, not to be obsessively glued to my phone. I closed my eyes and inhaled her wonderful scent. I was completely besotted.

 ***

I couldn't stop thinking about her. It was weird I mean really in September, streaking. It's starting to get cold for heaven's sake. She didn't seem like the type to streak with her buddies in the woods. She seemed kinda old for the college lifestyle. Well not that old. But she was probably 25, 26. Maybe streaking is the kinda thing they do around here. She wasn't the least bit embarrassed when I sized her up. I couldn't help it. My eyes were drawn to her. It didn't even occur to me to look away. Her body was incredible. Tight, lean, and hard in places where I was soft. I shivered. This is crazy, I'm being crazy. For a moment I thought she would kiss me. I would've kissed her back. I lit the tiny joint I held in my hand. I was on my roof. Old habits die hard I guess. Back in high school it was cigarettes. I pulled on the tiny roach, sucking in the acrid smoke. I picked up my phone. She hadn't texted since I responded to her last one. ‘No worries. And don't worry about returning the clothes they're super old.’ I reread my last text. I was hoping she would message me back. I wanted to see her again. Instead there was a text from the guy who had sold me the cheap weed I was now smoking. Dylan. He was cute in a Midwestern sort of way. Floppy blonde hair, blue eyes and a hunky bod he probably got from working the farm or playing some kind of sport. Yea he was dreamy. But it wasn't him I had spent the last two days thinking about. Whatever, even if I do see her again, which is a possibility in a town this small, doesn't mean she's gay. Last time I checked I wasn't either. I tapped Dylan's name and sent him a quick text asking him if he had plans tonight. I couldn't have the real thing but second prize was nothing to laugh at. I waited three seconds before my phone buzzed with his response. It had been a long time since I had hooked up with anyone and this guy seems decent. I smiled I was excited to see where the night was leading.

 ***

I hated working Saturday nights. Drunk, barely legal, obnoxious, millennials, gyrating in a show of sexual spectacle. Maybe that last bit was an exaggeration, nonetheless, I was grateful to be a bartender and not cleaning staff. It’s funny, I hate clubs in general, but here I am working the bar at a nightclub. Our town was so small we don’t have our own club, there’s a tavern but it’s family friendly. There’s no way the bartender is gonna serve any underage teens there. No, you have to hit the highway drive fifteen minutes to the city. So they come here, everyone under 25 comes here, and weird seedy old men who like to pick up naive young girls and boys. I was lost in the milieu of brass, techno and alcohol, blindly pouring drink after drink for faceless twenty somethings. The problem with making drinks for 20 somethings is they always go for the cheapest thing on the menu. After pouring beer after beer I was on autopilot.

“Yo Kristin!”

“Yep.” The petite dark haired girl I was sharing the bar with looked my way. “What’s up?” She handed a beer to the lovesick dude who couldn’t keep his eyes off her. He wasn’t the only one.

“I gotta use the bathroom I’ll be back.” Kristin put one hand on her hip, Inadvertently sticking out her chest.

“Honey how many times do I have to tell you, I don’t need to know where you are every minute. If you have to go, go.” She brushed her fingers on my arm and leaned into me and whispered. “That guy over there asked me for my number should I give it to him?” I craned my neck to see the guy she was referring to. The kid didn’t look a day over 18.

“You’re not serving him are you?”

“Of Course I am.” She smiled sweetly as she waved her fingers seductively at him. He had the decency to blush.

“He looks underage.”

“I'll have you know he's 21 today.” I shook my head. I couldn’t help but smile. Kristin was five years my senior but she liked them a little young. Sometimes a lot young and she was very unapologetic about it. She was a total badass babe.

“I’ll be back.” She nodded. I stepped away from her and walked along the edge of the crowd. Near the wall, in the shadows. That way I wouldn’t have to go weaving through the crowds. Most people were huddled around the bar and on the dance floor. I ignored the long lascivious looks I got from some of the dudes who didn’t know any better. I was on high alert, all night long traces of her scent teased me, but no matter how much I looked for her I couldn't see her. Not from the bar anyway. I knew she was here; I was certain, I could sense it. Maybe some fresh air will clear my head. I reached the back of the club there was door that led to an alley way. I pushed on the door handle. I froze when that tantalizing scent hit my nostrils. I closed my eyes and inhaled, nearly groaning out loud as I felt myself stiffen immediately. It wasn't just her. She wasn't alone and unfortunately I knew exactly who she was with. I swiftly turned in the direction of her scent. My blood boiled. She was kissing Dylan. Dylan the obnoxious wanna be drug dealer Dylan. He was one of Peter’s cronies. I wouldn't be surprised if it was his idea to steal my clothes. Dylan was always desperately trying to impress Peter the future alpha. They were beside the dumpster. His jacket was half undone, almost falling off his shoulders. Her hands rested on his chest and his rested on her back pulling her in close. The contents of my stomach bubbled and threatened to resurface. Their pheromones coated the air they were so lost in each other it took a while for them to notice me. And when they did, Dylan blushed straightened his clothes, dropped his hands and looked at the ground. I was devastated. Without his buddies he was suddenly shy. Jacs just stared, a panicked look blossomed over her pretty features. She was so pretty with her hair piled on top of her head. I shook my head trying to banish the thought.

“Do you two know each other?” Jacs asked finally after what felt like eons of silence. He knew I was angry. I reeked of bitterness and hostility. I wanted to leap at him and rip out his throat. I reigned in my anger, my wolf. I was feeling that heady exhilaration I always felt right before a shift. If I didn't keep it together...I took a step back. Dylan still refused to meet my eye. I shrugged locking eye contact with her. She had the decency to blush but she didn't look away. “Riley…” My body stirred when she called to me. I still craved her but I couldn’t ignore what I just witnessed. I took another step back and took a deep breath. Big mistake. Jacs’s sweet scent and Dylan's musk saturated the air. My chest tightened. I shook my head, turned around and walked back into the club.

 ***

“I need to go home.” I slammed the door behind me and slumped down in the worn leather chair in front of Pat’s desk.

“Not a chance, Trevor is AWOL tonight.” Pat’s rough voice cut through the room. “I need you tonight.” Pat was a big man. Most people would be intimidated by the 6’5 300lbs hulk of a man before me. But I knew him. Pat owned the club and a few other bars in nearby towns.

“I need to get out.” My voice came out strangled.

“Sorry.” Pat shrugged returning to his papers. Effectively dismissing me. It went without saying he owed me one. I was the only one on staff who wasn't a total flake and he knew unless I had a real emergency, needing to get out didn't count apparently, I wouldn't bail. I sighed. “You okay?”

“Yea.” I grunted getting up.

“Good and thanks.”

*** 

“You know him?!” Dylan snapped.

“Sort of yea, maybe, not really.” I would've been pissed at his tone but I was completely taken aback by the utter look of fear in his eyes.

“Yes or no?” He yelled he was practically hysterical.

“I-”I paused did I know her? No I didn't. Fuck she wasn’t a complete stranger yet I obviously wouldn't exactly call her my friend even though I wanted to. Also why was Dylan referring to her as him? “No. I don't.” I shrugged. “So calm the fuck down.” I was ready to go home, I just wanted to put this whole thing behind me and maybe delete her number. I didn't handle drama well and this, whatever this was, was definitely drama.

“Oh man this is so fucked up. Do me a favour, go talk to him. He’s at the bar.”

“Are you kidding?” There was no way I wanted to face those soulful blue eyes. She was hurt, that much was obvious but it was like I fucked up and I didn't mean to. It certainly wasn't my intention. I didn't handle guilt and obligation well and this shit was getting heavy fast. “No I think I'm gonna go home now.”

“Look talk to him, reconcile please. Seriously for the love of God. I'll wait right here then I'll take you home.”

“And if I don't.” He looked away, I would be hitchhiking. I sighed. His eyes were wild and he was looking around the alley frantically.Then without warning, he took off. I watched in shock as he ran the length of the alley then disappeared around the corner. “Mother fucker.” I cursed under my breath.

 ***

She was watching me. She got a seat at the bar. Every time I turned around I could feel her eyes on me. But whenever I looked at her she studied the beer that Kristin served her 40 minutes ago. I wanted to talk to her but I felt foolish. I imagined a relationship where there was none and then reacted in a way that was truly embarrassing.

“That girl keeps looking at you.” The night was winding down. It was last call and a few stragglers were still on the dance floor. “she's been sitting there for forty minutes at least.” Kristin stage whispered in my ear over the loud music. “I think she wants you to take her home.” She waggled her eyebrows. I discreetly looked over my shoulder. Jacs was peeling the label off her beer bottle. “Do you know her?” I shrugged noncommittally. My throat was dry. I licked my lips nervously as my pulse sped up. Kristen raised a black perfectly manicured brow.

“Are you okay?” She raised a hand to my forehead. I stepped out of her reach.

“I'll be right back.”

“Where are you going?” I looked at Jacs. She was playing with her phone. “You do know her!” Kristin shoved me, gently. I didn't budge.I squared my shoulders and mustered up all the courage left in my body.

*** 

“Hey.” I felt goosebumps as her velvety smooth voice washed over me. I closed my eyes for a moment, taking the extra seconds to focus before putting my phone away.

“You scared the crap out of Dylan.” I didn't have to yell. Her overly friendly bar mate was closing down the bar so There weren't as many people around. I didn’t want to admit it but I was kinda jealous even though I knew their relationship was none of my business. She rested her elbows on the marble countertop and leaned towards me. She was so close. I could smell the perfume she wore, or was that cologne? Spicy and fresh with a hint of pine. Definitely cologne. She said nothing. Her short wavy hair fell forward obscuring her face. She traced an invisible pattern on the marble with her fingers. I frowned it seemed like this was about as good an apology as I would get. “Well, he took off, apparently he thinks you want to beat him up.”

“He took off?” She repeated incredulously. There was an edge to her voice I hadn't quite expected. I put my hand on her shoulder, to calm her. I can’t say for sure that was my intention.

“It's- it’s fine.” I wasn't expecting the thousand jolts of electricity that shot through the point of contact between our bodies. I removed my hand almost immediately but it was too late. Shocks travelled from my hand directly to the space between my legs. I squeezed my thighs together in a vain attempt to still the throbbing. Fucking hell. I was high and horny, and here she was. Dylan and I had hot boxed in his car before sloppily making our way into the building. Even though it was an hour since I had last smoked, I was definitely not back yet.

“I need a ride home. I don't have any money for a cab.” I felt my face flush. She nodded.

“Give me a minute to let my coworker know okay.” I was relieved, but determined not to let it show. My body was betraying me. It wasn't normal for me to have such a visceral reaction period, let alone to another female. I watched as she walked back to her co-worker. I pretended not to notice when the busty dark haired girl threw a smirk in my direction. For a moment I panicked realising what this looked like. Since when did I give a fuck about what people thought, if Riley was a guy I wouldn't care less. Still the prospect of being Riley's hookup had me blushing furiously.

***

“You okay?” She wore a brown worn leather jacket over her navy blue t-shirt. My eyes travelled to her chest. There was no hint of a bust visible through her shirt. But I had seen her breasts albeit small and perky they were there. Riley bounds her breasts. My eyes snapped up meeting hers. Her gaze was a little unfocused, I'd seen that look before but mostly on guys. I stood up.

“Yea I'm fine.” Where was this coming from I didn't even know her yet here I am

imagining the goings on of her under garments fuck. I need to get laid. It had been a year since my last hookup. She cleared her throat, her eyes refocusing on mine.

“Okay let's go.”

 ***

I could smell her arousal. The sweet heady scent first made its appearance at the bar. What was she thinking about? Her eyes were fixed on my chest. I licked my lips. She was also high. She wasn't slurring her words or anything but the herbal weed smell clung to her stylish jacket. Also her eyes were red rimmed and glazed over. She probably bought the weed from Dylan. Dylan and his brother fancied themselves as big time drug dealers. They grew their own stuff but smoked most of it, what little they managed to sell barely covered their rent. Their stuff was pretty strong, especially for humans, it had to be to give us weres a buzz. I was kind of impressed with how well she was holding her own. But to be honest if she tied her own shoe lace right now I would be worshiping her. I couldn't touch her. She was high, therefore off limits, especially since she probably wasn't in control of her actions.

The ride home was twenty minutes. Twenty whole minutes and then what? she'll probably never talk to me again. Might as well enjoy the moment now that she realizes what a freak I am. Just as well, if she's hooking up with Dylan pretty soon he's going to poison her mind with false stories about me. Maybe she won't hook up with him anymore since he ditched her. One can only hope. She followed me silently to my Toyota tercel. For the second time, being confined in such a tiny car with her pheromones filling the air was proving to be harder than I anticipated. My knuckles griped the steering wheel with iron like force. It was abundantly clear now, after seeing her with Dylan I wanted to be the one to do those things to her and I didn’t want anybody else to touch her. She was mine. But she wasn’t, not really, I didn’t know her and after tonight I doubt she’d want to get to know me. These desires were no good, I couldn’t have her she didn’t want me at least, not yet. I turned my head slightly, so I could quickly glance at her. She was chewing on her bottom lip staring out the window. My eyes travelled to her neck.

 ***

“Shouldn’t you be focusing on the road?” I smirked, I was tickled that I had caught her staring.

“You're one to talk you’re a terrible driver.”

“I am not.” I huffed. “Don’t mistake speed for carelessness grandma.” I smiled. I couldn’t help myself. “Look at you with your hands at ten and two.” So careful. So up tight. I bet everyone's too busy looking at you to notice how uptight you are. I notice. A delicious heat crept up my body.

“Well I happen to like being alive. Thank you very much. Besides I hate driving.”

“Going fast makes you feel alive” I stated.

“You like going fast?” Her voice was a sexy growl.

“Always.” I flushed. Time to change the subject. “So, what’s the deal with Dylan?”

“That's an interesting segue. Look I’m sorry about earlier, it was unexpected, seeing you two together like that.”

“Well he’s an asshole so you probably should kick his ass.”

“I’m not gonna kick his ass.”

“He was certain you would. I’ve never seen someone so afraid.”

“Yeah..well good.” We pulled into my driveway and she brought the car to a stop.

“You guys have like bad blood between you two or what?” She turned to face me.

“You can say that.” She sighed. I gave up, clearly I wasn't getting anywhere.

“Thanks for the ride.” she nodded; Her face strained. What was wrong with her? I undid my seatbelt. I didn't want this ride to come to an end. I wanted to keep talking to her. She was nervous or embarrassed. Her hands were still on the steering wheel in the same up tight position. I can help her relax. I can help both of us relax. “I was thinking, why don't we go somewhere?”

“Where?”

“I don't know maybe up to a mountain where we can get great views of the town.” She smiled softly.

“All we have are fields and forests, no mountains.”

“Well where do you take someone you're trying to impress?” She looked at me with such intensity then I could barely meet her gaze but I somehow managed not to look away. She was beautiful. Short, dark wavy hair cradled her face. She had obscenely long dark eyelashes that framed her almond shaped eyes. Not to mention the deep indigo colour of those almond shaped eyes. Full lips and a strong jaw finished off the package. She was gorgeous. Handsome, beautiful and everything in between. My breath hitched in my throat. I wanted to trace those lips of hers with my finger tips.

“Like a date?” I shivered. Her voice a throaty whisper.

“Yea like a date.” I somehow managed to spit out. It was like she was caressing my face just by looking at me. I could feel her skin crawling over mine.

“Okay.” She nodded slowly, smiling to herself. “I'll take you somewhere special.”

 ***

Her arousal filled the car so thoroughly, I could barely concentrate. She wanted me to treat her like I treat my dates. I didn't really date, ever. She doesn't need to know that. My palms were sweaty. But I was too afraid to remove my hands from the steering wheel. Surely I would touch her. I took in another deep breath. I had to focus on driving. I had to. Whatever she was thinking about was riling her up. I could smell her and it was becoming difficult to concentrate. I couldn't think about anything else. Frankly I didn't want to think about anything else. There was nothing better.

“Okay this is it.” My voice was rough.

“This is your house.” We were sitting in my driveway. I took off my seatbelt. My uncle was home some of the lights were on.

“Come on.” I stepped out the car and waited for her. Once she was ready, we walked in silence up to my front door. My uncle opened the door while I was fiddling with my key.

“And who do we have here?” Jacs shrank a little in his presence. He smiled a little predatorily like the big bad wolf he is.

“Uncle Robert this is Jacs.” I offered stepping around him. Jacs’s face was beet red. Uncle Robert discreetly sniffed the air then threw me a mischievous grin. I blushed. I was mortified, he was witness to the arousal that was now pouring off her in waves that and a little fear. I felt my stomach clench. I had never brought anyone home before. I could, if I wanted to seeing how I was 24 I just chose not to.

“Jacs. That's an unusual name.”

“It's short for Jacqueline.” Jacs smiled shyly. My heart twisted.

“It's a beautiful name, old fashioned elegant.” He looked...wistful. Jacs blushed furiously. To him this probably seemed like a hookup, albeit an embarrassing start to one. Realizing that, I quickly ushered Jacs upstairs to my room.

“Goodnight guys.” My uncle sounded friendly and jovial not the least bit gruff, what was happening? My heart was pounding in my chest. Was that her doing?

***

“Is this where you wanted to take me?” She flopped down on my bed leaning back on her elbows. Clearly she had no clue how inviting she looked. Casually sitting on my bed like it's the most natural thing in the world. It took me a moment to find my voice.

“No, come.” We walked over to the little window, I opened it and took out the screen then stepped through it. My uncle had built me a tiny veranda outside my window. It was very narrow but from out here I had the perfect view of the stars.

“This is beautiful.” She said as she stepped out onto the balcony. I was pleased that I had impressed her. “So this is where you take your dates huh.”

“I don't date.”

“Oh” her mouth formed that sexy little o shape again. “Why not. You certainly could.”

“Is that...a compliment?”

“Maybe” She smiled and slid close to me and wrapped her arm around my waist. She didn't yet know I would do anything to please her. I took a deep breath. Her touch stunned me. My heart thudded in my chest. I wanted her so badly. It took everything in me not to close the sliver of space between us. This was a first, this overpowering need. Yet, I held back. I had to be honest if I wanted a chance of this working out. My wolf howled inside me clearly frustrated. Usually my wolf laid dormant when it came to female relations, another first. I clenched my hands that hung at my sides. I wanted to remember this moment. The moment before everything changed and became complicated.

“I don’t date because I’m trans and that complicates things.” The words slipped out of me in one fluid motion. The mood was killed. She took a small step back. Her hand dropped from my body. My skin burned where she had touched me.

“Your trans?”

“As in transgender. Female to male”

“That's cool.” I surveyed her features, she was surprised, I scented confusion but no fear or disgust this was a good sign.

“It's ok if you freak out I know I'm not an everyday thing.” She let out a breathy laugh.

“I'm not freaking out I'm just surprised.”

“To some people it's super obvious.” I said probing.

“But not to me. Fuck I had no clue.” I ran my hands through my hair. What did it mean? Was she mad at herself for not realizing? I was being paranoid she didn't seem angry.

“Yea I guess if you're not from here I just seem like a lesbian.” She nodded. “You ready to go home now?” I didn't want her to leave but I was burning up inside. I wanted her and I wanted to hide away from her. I was ashamed and angry.

“Only if you want me to.” I ignored the flutter I felt in my gut.

“It’s getting late…” I trailed up and looked up at the sky.

“Yea I'm feeling kind of tired.” She yawned. Her tone was off. Everything was spinning out of control. First seeing her Dylan, now being here, then coming out. I felt raw and exposed. I didn't plan on it but I had shared a big part of myself and I still wanted her. But now I think the feeling was one sided at this point. I had effectively shut things down and I deeply regretted it.