How I Live Now - 4. Day 4.

Well, I learned about this job opportunity available in Pine Valley. One of the places I applied for work was Oranganico; they have a local branch in Pine Valley. I’ve been thinking all day whether I should move all the way out there and chase this job. I'm not too keen on the countryside; there is almost nothing to do other than hiking and toiling away doing mindless jobs like repairing a fence, driving a tractor, or tending to cattle. I've always envisioned doing something grander. However, the local produce shop, I chose the head-up said they have vacancies outside the city if I was interested. I'm not too sure how to take that letdown. If I wasn't good enough to get the Oranganico job here, does that mean they think I'm second best? Does it mean I'm more suited to working out in a field because I don't necessarily have the qualifications they want? Yet, they haven’t exactly given me a chance. I have looked into the prospect, but it's quite far now that I think about it. Maybe I am too choosy here? In my aptitude tests, I was suited for instructional work. So, to say that this is a bit of a disappointment is an understatement. I'll think about it. Except, I don't want to rush into any decisions before I know all the pieces involved in making another move. Right now, I'm not exactly sure what I should be doing. Whether I should stay in St. Clement, or if I should just go wherever there is work that is being offered.

Oh, I chose to move hotels. While the Browne hotel was nice and all, it was starting to get expensive, and my money is running out relatively quick. I'm drying up my funds a lot faster than I imagined. People, who win the lottery should take care of how they handle their money as you can burn through it as quickly as they earn it? I'm not saying I won the jackpot; I just often wonder if having that amount of money makes things better. Though from what I've seen in the media, people's lives usually get worse. Look how quick I've gone through my own money, and I'm just trying to survive.

Anyway, I'm staying at this hostel now, and it's a little bit from the city center. It's more in the suburbs, or that small part before the suburbs become the burbs. I've got paired in a room with four other people, and as I write this, somebody's asleep on the top bunk above me. Some guy; I think he is a backpacker. I was talking to the man briefly, well, the guy. If I were to take a guess at his age, I'd figured he'd be about 25- tops. He's hot. You know he is one of those guys who has bleach blonde hair, the scraggly scruffy beard, looks a bit rough around the edges, and has few faded tattoos. Though if one thing is for sure, I can tell he has traveled many places, his backpack is littered with flags from all across the United States, and I've also seen a few international emblems. Apart from hello and goodbye, it is hard to get any other conversation out of the man. I have not met the other people in the room, but their stuff is in lockers by the door, so I know folks are staying in this room.

I liked the other hotel because I could make food in the room. Now I have to travel downstairs to a communal area, and to be honest, I kind of like the togetherness. It makes me feel not so alone, knowing that other people are occasionally willing to talk to you. Except, I don't think it's the type of place you get to know anybody; they moved on before long. There I was sitting at the kitchen table after boiling water for my pot noodles. While I was waiting for the five minutes to be up so that I could eat them, there was a bit of a scuffle in the hallway between two women. I wanted to go away to somewhere more private, but of course, this is the best facilities the hostel has to offer other than the toilet.

I also decided to stop by the Railway Museum again today. I felt like I needed a place to be. Plus, it's free, and I didn't get to see everything I wanted to view the other day. Long story short, I bumped into that kid again. It's not every day you have the same coincidence, but somehow maybe it was destined I was supposed to meet this boy. He remembered me, and at first, I was a little bit forgetful, but he jogged my memory.

Anyway, we got talking; he's pretty smart for his age. I think he's smarter than me, but you know, I guess, I'm a little wiser considering I am older. Isaac was talking pretty frantically about the trains and their history. Then he got talking about some boy he's friends with. Apparently, Issac was trying to help him come out to his family. I didn't tell him I was gay, but he seemed like a thoughtful friend, and I was curious to hear what his idea was to help this other boy out. I never got the other kid's name, but Isaac didn't have all the answers for a smart kid. Maybe that's why he was asking me; I'm older and supposedly wiser. I kept forgetting that he was in a wheelchair, and it made me feel awkward every time I had to wait for him to roll up. I kept telling myself to slow down so that the kid could keep up, but as usual, my mind is preoccupied elsewhere. It makes me wonder what his friend's Dad will do when this mysterious boy comes out who Isaac is friends with. I hope the circumstances are much better than mine.

Anyway, it's getting late, and I don't want to burden anybody else here in the room. So, I'm going to turn in for the night.

Talk soon,

Kyle