System of a Wolf - 16. Chapter 16

Erith dug through his closet. He needed to see the tail. It had been well over a decade since he had even thought of Lynn. Clothes, shoes, dog toys, nothing was safe from him. Everything flew out of the closet until at long last he found a long black neko tail.

Lynn’s tail.

The elf stared at the prosthetic, his hand reaching for the soft synthetic fur. He didn’t remember buying this. He never would have bought something like this; it would be incredibly offensive for an elf to wear a neko tail.

‘Fucking human couldn’t keep his mouth shut…’

The words stopped him cold. His mind was racing. Everything he had known felt like a lie. For so long, he had thought Gara was the only alter in his mind. But no, there were two more, maybe even more than that.

“Who are you?”

Erith winced as the words left his lips. How long had it taken for Gara to respond to him? He still couldn’t talk to the wolf. The only reason he knew the wolf’s name was because he’d heard someone shout it in a dream. For all he knew, Gara wasn’t even the wolf’s name, and he had been using the wrong name for years.

If this alter, this other person in his mind, didn’t want to talk, then Erith wouldn’t find anything out about him. And there was little he could do about that.

‘So dramatic. This is exactly why we hide. You can’t handle us.’

It didn’t even sound like someone else. If he didn’t know any better, Erith would have thought this was just an inner thought, just him arguing with himself. But no, he could feel the frustration, almost like when he smelled someone’s emotions. Though even that wasn’t him. No, that was Gara sitting just behind him, helping him navigate the world of a werewolf.

But this was not Gara, and it was not himself.

‘It’s okay that you don’t know. We are good hiders.’

That voice he knew. The voice of his imaginary friend, the friend who kept him company through his parent’s separation, and their decision that he needed a more stable home. The friend he thought had abandoned him when he started living with his uncle.

Lynn was exactly as he remembered; cheerful, innocent. The elf rubbed at his head, trying to relieve the waves of pressure that pushed through his mind.

“Why? Why did you hide?” he whispered.

‘Varen said the bad guy would hurt me,’ Lynn pouted. ‘But then there was no bad guy and he still made me hide.’

‘I’m not arguing about this again.’

His head was killing him. And to make it worse, Erith could feel Gara nudging him, though the wolf was much gentler than usual. Almost as though he was checking on Erith, reminding him that the moon was coming and making sure the elf was okay.

‘Such a good wolf,’ Lynn giggled.

Erith felt a shift in his mind, as though someone was being guided away from him.

‘No, you wanted us to talk and now we’re talking…’

‘Varen doesn’t like it when Gara sends him to bed,’ Lynn laughed again. “Does this mean I can play with Blakey again?’

“I…”

The elf was at a loss for words. All this time, Gara had been handling alters and he had known nothing about it. It worried Erith. If something this personal had been going on literally inside his head without him knowing, how could he be sure other things hadn’t been missed?

‘I wanna play with Blake.’

And for the first time, Erith was aware of the change. He felt dizzy, off-center. The world blurred, the edges of his vision darkening, but he was still awake, still aware.

Aware of a body that wasn’t his anymore.

Gara’s presence circled around him, the wolf comforting him as Lynn took over his body. He felt the distant touch of fur on his pants, a headband on his head. It was like being a passenger in a moving car, unable to control anything, near completely at the mercy of the six year old neko who had decided she wanted to play with his friend.

“Blake?”

Lynn roamed through the house, feeling Erith beside her. It was different than having Varen watch her. She could feel the elf’s worry, his fear at not being able to move. It made her sad that he was stuck, but not sad enough to hide again. Even Gara was letting her be free for once, and she was going to be free. She was going to play with her new friend.

The only problem was he was in the bathroom. She knew better than to go into the bathroom when the shower was on. Varen had told her what would happen. Tentacles grabbing her, monsters trying to hurt her. The neko shivered at the thought, looking away from the scary door.

Fine, she would wait for him. And she would get his book out. He already said she could colour another wolf, so that’s what she was going to do. Stepping back into the bedroom, Lynn grabbed Blake’s bag, opening the zipper carefully.

‘Cookies! You don’t need Blake’s book, there are cookies!’

She winced at Erith’s thought, even as her eyes widened.

“Not so loud. It’s too loud,” she complained, dropping the bag.

Racing out of the bedroom, Lynn slid into the kitchen, pulling at the fridge handle. To her surprise, it actually opened, and she found the biscuits sitting on the middle shelf. Moments later, the plate was on the floor, a biscuit in her hands as she curled her tail around her wrist. Sitting on the tail never ended well.

‘She’s going to make herself sick.’

‘Well what am I supposed to do about it? I don’t know how to get my body back.’

‘Our body.’

Lynn scowled at the voices, biting into her third biscuit.

“I can eat biscuits if I want. You can’t stop me,” she pouted, reaching for a fourth.

She never got to eat treats. And she was going to take full advantage of this chance.

The shower shut off, Blake grabbing a towel. It felt weird to be showering in someone else’s home, but he wasn’t going to think about that. Just get dressed, and make sure Erith was doing okay. The elf was worrying him.

Opening the door, Blake shivered as the steam within the room rushed out. He made his way to the bedroom, frowning at the absolute chaos that ruled the room.

“Erith?”

Wandering out of the room, the mage frowned at the sight of the elf squatting in the kitchen. The plate of cookies sat in front of him, most of them missing. And the tail that was wrapped around his wrist, the ears that sat crookedly atop his head… there was no way that was Erith.

“Lynn, where’s Erith?” Blake frowned.

“Blake!” Lynn squealed, leaping up and rushing to the man.

Her arms wrapped around him tightly, nearly squeezing the air from his lungs.

“You wanna biscuit?”

“How… how many of these did you eat?” Blake frowned.

The neko frowned, staring at her hands.

“This many,” she said, holding up seven fingers. “I want more, but you can have the rest.”

Blake picked up the plate, setting it on the counter.

“You’re going to have a belly ache,” he warned. “You shouldn’t eat that many cookies.”

“Erie said it was okay,” Lynn protested.

“You talked to Erith?” Blake asked in surprise.

“Ye. He’s right here.”

Lynn tapped her head.

“Can I talk to him?”

“Why? Don’t you want to play with me?”

The neko sounded hurt, and Blake backtracked quickly, shaking his head.

“I do, but we need to eat dinner. I don’t want to use Erith’s things without his permission.”

“He said it’s okay. But he wants us to feed Gara,” Lynn said.

Blake chewed his lip, glancing up at the cabinet where the wolf food was being stored. He really didn’t know how to cook on his own. But there was another option.

The mage began collecting bowls. Motioning toward the cabinet, he let a strand of energy pull at the wolf food, the bag floating to the counter slowly. It was harder than usual, and Blake wondered if it had been wise to be shunting rocks aside with his magic all day.

Not that it mattered. There was no going back.

He read the back of the bag carefully, trying to figure out how much food a wolf should eat. Erith seemed about two hundred pounds, a little heavy for an elf, but Blake had read somewhere that muscles were heavier. It stood to reason that Gara would be a similar weight.

“Watchya doing?” Lynn asked curiously, looking over his shoulder.

“How much do you weigh?” the mage asked.

The neko frowned.

“You’re not asposed to ask people weights,” she pouted.

“Oh. Sorry. But what about wolf weights?” Blake questioned. “Do you know how much Gara weighs?”

Lynn shook her head.

“Erie gives him two cups cuz Erie likes to eat when he’s an elf,” she said helpfully.

Blake’s eyes widened, and he stifled a curse. He couldn’t just give Gara food for an entire day. Not when Gara, or Erith, was eating three meals a day.

“Okay… yeah, we had breakfast, but no lunch and no dinner,” he muttered, staring at the bag. “I think he needs six cups a day… so let’s say four cups. Erith is a big guy.”

“Why you call Erie fat?”

The mage frowned at Lynn.

“Not fat, they’re muscles. But they’re still heavy,” he said, measuring out four cups into a blue bowl.

He poured three cups into a red bowl. Bending over, he set the bowls down, mentally preparing himself for the taste. Erith had mentioned something about blueberries. The man just hoped he could handle the grainy dust that always seemed to cover kibble. Either way, it still beat cooking on his own.

“No dinner?” Lynn frowned.

“Trust me, you don’t want to eat my cooking,” Blake grimaced. “Besides, you just ate most of our cookies. You probably aren’t that hungry anymore, right?”

Gods, he wished he could just curl up with his paci. Erith was supposed to be his caregiver, not leaving Blake to take care of a six year old. He was jealous of Lynn, and he freely admitted it. She got to do the things he was supposed to do.

“But what about water?”

The mage sighed quietly, collecting the bowl of old water on the ground. He poured it out and began scrubbing the bowl. The first pull of the moon struck as the bowl was filled, and Blake set it on the ground, glancing toward the hallway.

“Okay, I’m going to change into my wolf,” he said. “I’ll use the bathroom so you can have the bedroom.”

“Okie,” Lynn agreed, bouncing on her feet.

“Make sure you put your tail away. I don’t want Gara to chew it,” Blake warned.

“Gara wouldn’t do that… would he?”

The mage shrugged as he left the kitchen.

“Maybe. Maybe not. Do you want to take that risk?”

Lynn shook her head, hurrying into the bedroom as she pulled the belt off her waist. Blake stepped into the bathroom, disrobing quickly as a spasm hit him. He shook out some excess energy before dropping to the ground.

A moment later, the werewolf had shifted. Shaking out the pain of the change, he nosed the door open. Gara appeared from the bedroom just after him. At least, Blake hoped it was Gara. Watching after Lynn was hard enough in elf… or in neko form. Trying to keep up with her as a wolf would be torture. He didn’t want to take care of a kid; he was a kid himself.

Letting out a huff, the werewolf wandered out to the kitchen. He stared at the red bowl of kibble, steeling his nerves. And then Blake began eating.