System of a Wolf - 2. Chapter 2

Erith stared at his tea silently. The room was filled with nerves, both his own and Blake’s. There was something going on, something he couldn’t explain except to say… he wanted to mate the man.

It terrified him. Erith had spent the last seven years coming to terms with the fact that he would never have sex again, could never have sex again. Even with Devyn, the attraction had come more from Gara, a passing lust that had dealt with, if not easily. But this felt different. It was deep, hidden, almost sinister. When Blake had been twelve, there was a need to protect him, to care for him, and the fifteen year old elf had done that. But now that they were both adults, Erith felt the lust of… something inside him. And it was nothing but confusing.

He knew who he was. Asexual. Romantic, sure; Erith loved the idea of curling up with someone on the couch and sharing a gentle kiss as they watched a movie. He was working on dealing with his aversion to touch. Gara was a wolf, no different than Devyn. Even he understood that the thought of sex made Erith’s gut churn.

So where was this new lust coming from? And why was it directed toward Blake? The human had been through enough; he didn’t need a werewolf out for his virtue. That would be disastrous for them both.

“Blake? I believe you have something to tell Erith?”

The gentle prodding startled the elf, and Erith realized he hadn’t even tasted the cranberry tea set in front of him. He hurriedly took a sip of the crimson liquid, coming away with a bittersweet taste. Cranberries mixed with lemon and orange, a dash of ginger root giving a kick to the mix while sugar added a layer of sweetness. It was one of the most delicious drinks he’d had in a long while.

Across from him, Blake stared at him like a wolf caught in headlights.

“I… um…”

He glanced at Marin as though for reassurance, legs tapping a steady staccato.

“It’s your life. You need to tell him,” the older man said.

“It’s…” Blake bit his lip.

“Hey, it’s just me Blake. You used to tell me everything, remember?” Erith forced a smile on his face. “Whatever it is, it’s okay.”

“Diapers…”

Blake’s face fell, his entire body tense.

“Diapers…” Erith repeated slowly. “You mean you wear diapers?”

He let out a low chuckle, shaking his head.

“That’s…”

Pretty fucking hot… shit, that came out of nowhere. The elf’s head shook again, trying to clear the random thought from his mind. Not that it was wrong; he’d watched plenty of videos about that, videos he enjoyed. But here was definitely not the place to discuss that.

“That’s not bad,” he said neutrally.

“Really?”

Blake’s entire body shivered, as though the human was letting out all his tension.

“Really. Is it just diapers?”

“No… I… I regress a lot,” Blake admitted quietly. “It happens more often now than it used to.”

“Like… you become a baby?”

The man nodded silently.

“Oh.”

That was a lot harder to handle.

“It’s nice to think about a time before I was a wolf,” Blake explained quickly. “To not have to deal with… well, everything. I can just… let someone else handle it, even if it’s just for a little bit.”

“I… I understand. I think,” Erith frowned, staring at his tea. “I prefer the memories of my family before too. But you don’t have those?”

“No, I do. I just… I just want to be like that again,” Blake sighed quietly.

The elf nodded slowly.

“Yeah. It would be nice,” he agreed. “Is that… is that all?”

Blake nodded, reaching shakily for his own cup.

“Okay, well… when you’re ready, why don’t you get your things? Unless you want to stay here with Dr. Marin for a bit. My place is kind of messy and I’d hate for you to see it that way.”

“Are… are you leaving me here?” Blake asked uncertainly.

“No, not at all. I can wait for you here,” Erith replied quickly.

The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. There were worse ways to deal with trauma, and while Erith wasn’t exactly confident he could help Blake if he regressed, he wasn’t about to give up his friend just because of his coping mechanism.

“Just… don’t expect me to change your diaper,” he added with a chuckle.

“Oh no, I deal with that on my own,” Blake denied quickly. “Not that I really need to, but diapers aren’t really fun to wear all the time. Just occasionally. Most of the time I just use my paci.”

“This isn’t… sexual at all, right?”

Erith hated himself for asking, but he had to make sure, he had to know if there were limits in place that neither of them would cross.

“No! No, not at all,” Blake said. “Just… just dealing with things.”

“Okay. Do you want my help packing?”

“No… it’s just for a few days, right?”

“Unless you want to stay longer,” Erith chuckled nervously.

Blake echoed the laugh, shaking his head.

“No, I think three days is plenty. It would give Dr. Marin a chance to get away from me for a bit.”

“Hmm?” the older man mumbled, looking up at them suddenly.

Another laugh escaped Blake, the man shaking his head.

“Someone’s tired,” he teased. “I’ll go pack.”

He stood up quickly, nearly bounding out of the room, and Erith smirked at the sudden change in his attitude.

“I take it you came to an agreement?” Marin asked blearily.

“Uh… yeah. I guess. I do need some help though,” Erith said quietly, leaning toward the older man.

He needed to figure out how to help Blake, and how to handle whatever was awakening in him. There was no need to worry Blake about that though, at least not yet.

Blake looked around his room silently, trying to figure out what he was missing. His fiery red paci was in the front pocket of his old backpack, he had four diapers packed with plenty of underpants for when he wasn’t feeling little. It would have been better if he’d had time to prepare beforehand, and part of him felt a little resentful. He was being taken out of his comfort zone, forced to interact with the world, and it was ruining his carefully practiced schedule.

The rest of him wanted to squeal in excitement. He was actually going to a friend’s house, and he was going to stay the night. Not only that, but Erith knew his deep dark secret and he didn’t mind. In fact, the elf had seemed almost happy to hear about his coping.

Blake couldn’t hold it back any more. Shoving a fist into his mouth, the mage squeaked loudly, his free hand shaking wildly in excitement. He was going to spend the night with Erith, and it was going to be fun.

A ball suddenly fell from a dresser, the surge of energy in the mage pushing objects in the room, and Blake flinched slightly, settling himself down. He didn’t want Marin to think there was something wrong with him, or he wouldn’t be able to go.

In the corner of the room, water trickled quietly into an enormous fish tank. Glancing at the foot long albino cichlid in the tank, Blank smacked his forehead.

“Right, I need to feed Val…” he grumbled. “Okay buddy, you ready for some worms?”

As he approached the small fridge next to the tank, Blake heard a loud thump.

“Hey hey, none of that,” he scowled at the fish. “I don’t want you hurting yourself.”

Val ignored his words as the human walked past the tank, spinning around to chase after Blake until he slammed into the other end of the tank. The fish bounced off the clear wall, and Blake snorted.

“Gods… you really need to stop that,” he smirked, fighting off his laughter. “You get one cube. That should be plenty until I get back.”

Pulling a blood red frozen cube out of a packet, the man pressed it in between his hands, waiting for the ice to melt before opening the top of the tank. A loud splash made him scowl.

“Hey, no jumping,” he scolded, dropping the cube into the water.

Below him, the fish circled hungrily, lunging as soon as the cube hit the water. Seconds later, the worms were gone and Val was staring at him almost grumpily.

“Yeah, look at you. You have a brain freeze now. I keep telling you to wait, but no, you have to gulp everything down right away.”

Blake sighed as he closed the lid, setting a weight over the top to keep the fish from jumping out of the tank. He would remind Marin to toss a few flakes in after a day or two, but Val was pretty much fed for the next few days.

Frowning at a bucket nearby, the mage stepped out of the room. He needed to clean the tank before he left, but that was going to take a while.

“Hey Erith?” he called.

Voices cut off as he entered the room. Erith seemed almost nervous as Blake entered the room.

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

“I need to clean Val’s tank,” the mage said. “It’s probably going to take some time-”

“I could clean him for you,” Marin offered.

Blake frowned slightly, looking back toward the bedroom.

“Do you really want to keep Erith waiting?”

“I thought he wanted to go home to clean up,” Blake replied uncertainly.

“Or maybe I could help you clean,” Erith suggested. “Who’s Val?”

“Oh, he’s my tiger cichlid,” Blake beamed. “Do you want to see him? He’s kind of grumpy right now because he thinks he should get another bloodworm cube.”

“Sure. I’ve never seen a cichlid before,” Erith shrugged.

“Of course you have. You were watching them with me, remember?” Blake denied, grabbing for the elf’s hand.

He pulled Erith down the hall and into his room, pointing him toward the tank.

“Damn, how did you get this tank in here?” Erith whistled.

“Through the window,” Blake replied, motioning toward the large window that looked out on a courtyard.

Erith glanced outside warily before returning his attention to the white and orange fish thrashing through the water.

“Is he okay?”

“Oh yeah, just throwing a tantrum,” Blake chuckled. “He knows what comes after bloodworms.”

The mage held his hand toward the closet and a pair of buckets slid out, a coiled tube sitting in one of them. He pulled off his shirt and unrolled the tube. The man could feel Erith’s eyes on him, or more precisely, on the thin scar that sprawled across his upper back, labelling him as a whore for the world to use. He realized suddenly that this was the first time he had been shirtless around the elf, but he couldn’t wear his shirt when cleaning Val.

“Er… do… do I need to take my shirt off too?” Erith asked nervously.

“Only if you want. But you’ll get wet if you don’t,” Blake shrugged, already working on dipping the larger end of the tube into the tank.

Val charged at his hand, and the mage pulled his hand out of the tank quickly, the tube filling with water as he held it in place mentally. Raising it out of the water, he watched the liquid drain partway before quickly dunking it again. The other end of the tube went into one of the buckets, and the mage let the magic go as water flowed into the bucket.

“He doesn’t like strange things in his tank,” he explained as he looked at the small bruise on his hand. “Usually I get my hand out in time.”

Shaking it off, Blake grabbed a stool. He stepped up onto it and leaned over the tank, double checking to make sure Val was hiding in his castle. Grabbing the tube, the man pushed it deep into the rocks at the bottom of the tank, silt and dirt rushing into the bucket as he set about cleaning the rocks.

“Oh… did you want to try? He won’t hurt you,” he asked a moment later, looking back at Erith.

The elf shook his head quickly.

“Oh no, you seem to know what you’re doing,” he shrugged.

“Okay, can you watch the other bucket though? I don’t want them to spill. And make sure he doesn’t try to jump, they like to think they can fly,” Blake giggled as he jumped down.

The mage switched buckets quickly, lifting the old water with a grunt before rushing to the bathroom. Pouring the water out, he returned quickly to repeat the process with the other bucket. It would take a while, but he was going to make sure Val’s home was clean.