Come Back To Us - 27. Chapter 27

Shift to George's POV in the first part then Karl's again

They were lying awake in bed as if they were alone in the world. They were facing each other, eyes locking into each other’s, only a small gap separating them.

George’s heart was finally at peace.

He had to squint his eyes so he could see Carl clearly, over and over again, but he didn’t mind.

Karl’s thumb caressed his cheek with such softness that his stomach wouldn’t stop flutter. He relished in it, his brown eyes worshipping him with a kind of love he had never felt for anyone before him. Not even with Nathan. And the worst thing is that he wasn’t feeling guilty at all.

Nathan was just a ghost now. He was a part of his past. He would always remember him of course, as his first love.

What was the point in keeping on denying it when both his heart and mind were begging for his presence and gentleness?
And the emptiness he felt once he had left spoke for itself.

He never wanted to leave that bed. He wished time could be frozen so they wouldn’t have to witness all the horrors of the war. Too much harm had been already done.

He sighed. He knew they couldn’t stay like that until darkness enveloped the city. Suspicions shouldn’t be raised. Even if they already knew. He suspected Paul had told his parents about it, but they’d never mentioned it or even hinted at it. They were two well-educated people.

“What’s wrong?”

Karl’s thumb went still as he spoke, but he didn’t remove his hand from his face.

His heart sank as he heard the worry in his voice.

“Nothing.”

I’m just remembering that bloody reality will never allow me to make you mine.

He didn’t seem to catch on to what was on his mind, and it was probably better that way. But even with that, he knew he wasn’t dumb enough to buy his lie.

“I’m just thinking we should go downstairs now.” There was something mesmerizing in his blue eyes, but the bloody reality would always be stronger. It would always ruin the few moments of happiness he could have… “as much as I’d like to stay here…”

He could see the reluctance in his eyes as his impassive face was enough for him to understand he didn’t want to leave that bed either. He didn’t miss the way his eyebrows knitted ever so slightly for hardly half a second.

“I know.”

But then he suddenly remembered something.

His mouth quirked at the corners as he was thinking about what should have happened long ago.

“What’s with that smile?”

He wouldn’t mind a bit of teasing. Even with all the love in the world for him.

“You’ll see. I’ve got a surprise for you. But if you want it, you’ve got to move your ass and follow me in silence.”

Now he could see the mischief in these warm blue eyes. The corners of his lips slowly quirked up.

“You can make a surprise in less than twenty seconds?”

His smirk could only widen for the unspoken agreement about the teasing.

“My mind’s too fast for you.”

“But I’m better than you at playing cards and chess.”

The slight hint of annoyance that erupted in him couldn’t be avoided. His smirk dropped. He was longer in the mood for teasing anymore.

“No, you’re not.”

The memories of too many defeats couldn’t be erased even by the strongest type of love.

Yet his stomach fluttered at the sight of his smile. His hand moved from his face to run through his hair. He couldn’t mess it up if it already was.

He had a fierce urge to kiss him until his lips became swollen, but they had to go.

“Come on, move your ass, get that smug smile off your face!”

He sat up but as soon as he did, a pair of hungry lips met his own. He could only kiss back. And waste time.

*
As George reached the last step of the stairs, he saw Margaret just coming home with her parents and his uncle.

“Hello, boys. We were out for quite a while as you must have noticed.”

Well, yes and no…

“We wanted to have a nice walk for this special day, but the snow is thick… At least you were warm here.”

Yes, they shared the best kind of warmth you could ever find.
“Well, now it’s our turn to go outside if it’s fine with you of course.”

He noticed Paul and his friend weren’t with them. So they weren’t going to have a Christmas meal without them.

“Sure. Go ahead, boys. I will have time to get everything ready for tonight. But be careful not to stay outside for too long. This is the best way to catch a cold.”

“Don’t worry about us. We’ll be alright,” George assured her but she frowned.

“You are saying that, but look at yourselves. You are so lightly dressed.”

“Well, unless you’ve got a cloak made of fur to lend us, we’ll be going like this. See you later.”

He kissed her cheek and wrapped his arms around her neck only to unwrap them as quickly as to wrap them and before she could do anything he went past her and made his way outside.

“Uncle Robb. Sir, Madam,” he greeted them with a nod of his head and a few seconds later he was stepping in the cold thick snow.

As he glanced over his shoulder, he saw Carl following behind him. They walked in silence until they reached Emma’s pub. They had to walk fast if they didn’t want to freeze to death.

Upon entering the building, he saw it was half empty. Some men must have been finding a home here as they could find no better place to go.

They found the red-haired girl behind her counter chatting with a man who looked like he had seen too much already.

He cleared his throat to get her attention. Emma looked at him but as she was about to greet him her eyes shifted from him to the Danish boy next to him. She looked like she was seeing a ghost, her lips parted and her eyes widened, her body still.

After staying that way for a while, she slowly left her spot behind her counter and approached Carl. She contemplated him in silence for another while as if he had been too far from her to be real. Then all of a sudden, she hugged him tightly as she closed her eyes.

Carl hugged her back as if he had missed her. George repressed that growing unpleasant feeling in him. He shouldn’t be jealous. Emma only considered him as a little brother.

He started losing his patience as their hug dragged. He didn’t like standing like a fool doing anything.

He cleared his throat.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to ruin this charming reunion, but your surprise is waiting on the top floor if you’re still interested in it.”

Carl side glanced at him as Emma opened her eyes and stepped back a little bit so she could look at him. A smile lit up her face.

“Yes, come on, this way.”

She led him upstairs and George watched them for a little while before he went after them.

There she was, playing with her rabbit on the wooden floor.

“Look, lil’ Rosemary, someone has come to see you.”

The girl stopped what she was doing to look up at them.
She looked just like Emma when her gaze fell on Carl. George looked at him. He looked quite surprised too.

“Rosemary…”

“My saviour…”

She stood up and pounced on him, catching everyone off guard. Carl grabbed her and she wrapped her legs around him.

Carl must have been so relieved to see she was fine. He had never found her at the hospital when he had asked him about her. Yet he had looked for her with the most utter care.

“Thank you.”

There was a short moment of silence that followed her words.

“You don’t need to thank me. I did what I thought was right.”

The girl smiled in his back.

“So, isn’t that a nice Christmas gift?” Emma said with her usual smile.

“Yes, the best I could have besides the rabbit George gave to me.”

Carl cast him a glance and he smiled. He was feeling hot all of a sudden and he looked away.

“Will you play with me for a while?”

“Of course. We have time before we have to go.”

It was really weird. It seemed now that he was totally fluent in English while hardly one year before he could only utter two or three simple words…

He let go of her and she took his hand so she could show him the stuff she had. And that rabbit he had offered her. He hadn’t even known she had lost hers during the first attack.

“Any news of Paul?” Emma whispered in his ear. “I thought he would’ve come with you…”

“I haven’t seen him since yesterday evening. But I guess he’ll drop by later.”

He heard her sigh. His gaze was focused on Carl and Rosemary.

“I hope you’re right.”

He only hummed as he wasn’t really paying attention anymore. He wasn’t someone one should come and seek for some comfort. He had never been good at that.

They spent at least three hours of the day there. Emma offered them a meal which they ate all together at one of the tables downstairs. He saw how Emma would glance at the main entrance door every ten seconds or so and the look of disappointment in her eyes when Paul was still not there.

“Wait, before you go, can you sing to me that song which you sang when we were in that building during the attack?” Rosemary asked as they were sitting on the bed that was temporarily yours.

He was aware she couldn’t stay there forever. But he still hadn’t found a better solution for her for now.

“Of course.”

Carl started singing in Danish as Rosemary was holding her rabbit close to her chest, listening to his voice as if it were a prayer. George kept observing them from afar, without a word. His singing wasn’t that bad. He only wondered what he could be singing about.

Suddenly he remembered what Paul had told him about him making a good father. Just because you’re nice to a child once in a while doesn’t mean you can be a good father.

Then he imagined what he didn’t want to. Carl finding a girl back in his country, marrying, and having children. Or Carl dying before the war was over making him unable to father children. A shiver crept up his spine. No, that couldn’t happen. As much as it hurt, he’d rather have him stay alive, marry, and father children rather than dying in a meaningless war.

“What is it about?”

“It’s about a child and his mother’s love.”

“That’s so sweet!”

There is nothing stronger than a mother’s love for her children. That’s what his uncle had once told him. And he had come to question his statement with his mother’s choices.

He didn’t know if he could forgive her one day for that early life, even though she had been a victim as much as him in a way.

Once things were broken, they could never be the same as before. But fortunately, someone had been there to pick up the pieces for him. Someone who had been patient and understanding enough to stick them back together and make him feel whole again. He wondered how that kind of person could exist. Didn’t he feel ashamed of what they had done?

“Are you okay?”

He focused back on his surroundings and looked right before him where he saw Carl with Rosemary standing by his side.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

He didn’t want him to worry about him, not anymore. He could take care of himself despite that growing feeling of culpability which he felt would never fade away.

“Lille havfrue, can you go and see what Emma is doing upstairs?”

“What did you call me?”

“That’s your new surname. It sounds nice to you.”

“But what does it mean? I’ll tell you if you go see Emma and do what I tell you.”

She looked at him with wary eyes.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

She was fast to leave the room, the steps creaking under her feet as she went downstairs.

“Let’s go back to the house.”

He took his hand in his as he finished speaking and George’s heart skipped a beat.
He couldn’t believe he really loved him. This was impossible…

That he had missed him as much as he had; he was sure he could never find solace as much as he had with him. It was like he was the Sun, and him the Moon, each of them having their time to shine. But who could find comfort in the cold dark night?

He withdrew his hand, doubting his tiniest action. It must have been only for sex. And for pity.

They could never be a thing anyway. So why should he delude himself with false hopes?

He looked away from him before he went downstairs as well, taking sluggish steps.

A few hours later they were all sitting at the table in the dining room of Margaret’s parents, looking all happy except for Arthur but this was normal, but it all sounded so false, so artificial. How could he smile at such hypocrisy?

“Dear, God, may you bless everyone who is sitting at his table. I am glad we could be all reunited for this special day. There is nothing more important than family. May the future bring us welfare and certainty. Amen; and merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” everyone repeated in unison.

He couldn’t look away from him, just like the previous evening. How could he not focus on him when that smile of his made the world a much more interesting place to be in?

And even when he didn’t smile, he gave off so much warmth that he could feel it as long as he stayed near him.

Yet, he couldn’t do anything about the ache in his heart as he could sense a feeling of sadness and thoughtfulness lingering in those blue eyes.

His heart was at war with his mind. His heart wanted him to stay, keep him safe and make him feel loved like no one could ever love him. But his mind was always there to keep him grounded, to remind him that love only existed in fairytales, that pain and suffering would always prevail no matter what in this cruel and mad world.

But he could only listen to his heart when they found themselves alone in the room after dinner, and kiss him like a mad lover who could do anything for his love.

His heart knew no limits. It needed to give all the love he had in him.

Carl didn’t push him away as he feared he might have, and his body immediately relaxed under his touch. His hands grabbed his cheeks before they slid into his hair that he hadn’t even cared to style properly anymore since Carl had left, and he liked it better this way.

He smiled in the kiss as Carl ran one hand through it and caressed his cheek with the other.

He didn’t understand that kind of love, but the way it made him feel could never be replaced by anything else.

*

The weekend went by fast. Karl and Arthur were both granted only a four-day leave, and they couldn’t extend it, as much as he wished he could.

“Stay.”

He contemplated George silently. They were in the bedroom again, George sitting on the bed.

“You don’t have to go back,” he proceeded.

Karl couldn’t say he wasn’t surprised by his words. They puzzled him.

“I cannot stay.”

He knew he couldn’t.

George didn’t reply immediately. He didn’t like the way he was staring at him. That kind of silence never meant anything good. He stood up and got closer to him.

“If you left, it was because I put an end to our affair, wasn’t it? But now that we made up, you don’t have to go back there. You weren’t forced to go in the first place, remember?”

They made up…oh really? Did they?

He knew he loved him, but once again he didn’t like the way he was acting. Yes, he had been so desperate to see him again, touch him again, give him all his love, even though he knew his love wasn’t mutual. But what was he thinking? Did he think that he could take him, throw him away like trash and then take him back and decide about the way things should go?

He didn’t want this to continue if it was only to push him away later another time. This time he knew he wouldn’t be able to take it.

“I chose to leave for my country. One year passed and it’s still occupied. The war is still going on.”

He gave him that same look again.

“So you’re saying that a country is more important than me?”

Karl wished things could have been different. But he guessed he could never change. The world didn’t revolve around him, even if his feelings for him were true.

“My family is.”

What’s more, he wanted to see Kristian and Edgar again. He wished he could have the chance to see Jørgen again too, but it seemed that Destiny had decided differently. Even after what had happened between them, Jørgen still was his closest friend. He had got used to their presence. He had been staying with them for longer than he had with the Hopkins family. This didn’t mean he wouldn’t miss them. He would still miss them as much, but then he guessed it was easier not to meet new people you know you wouldn’t spend the rest of your life with.

He couldn’t be selfish anyway and think about his own happiness, not when the situation still wasn’t getting any better.

“You being in the RAF won’t help get your country freed sooner. What do you think? That because you joined the RAF the war will stop, that you will become the saviour of Denmark?”

He was going too far. He’d rather leave before it got any worse. It was no use having this conversation with him anyway. He couldn’t understand; it wasn’t his country that was being occupied. He didn’t have to be sent away to another country that he didn’t know. He still had his family with him.

He started walking away, but George wouldn’t let him go.

“Wait!”

He stopped as George grabbed his arm. But he didn’t turn around to face him.

“I’m sorry…” He was doing it again. “It’s not against you, you know. I know you’d like to see your family again. It’s only natural. I just…I’m sure they don’t want anything to happen to you. They wouldn’t want you to die just for an act of bravery. No parents want that for their child.”

Karl pondered over his words. So he was feeling responsible for him now…?

He turned around to face him. He observed him silently for a while. Was he worried for him? Was he afraid he might have died like his friend had? Was that thought really on his mind?

“Nothing will happen to me.”

He wanted to do his best to reassure him, but he knew it wasn’t easy. It didn’t seem to work anyway.

“That’s what Nathan told me before he left. And now he’s resting six feet under. But he hadn’t got any relatives to mourn him.”

Okay…now he didn’t know what he should answer. So instead he kissed him once again. But it took everything in him to stop because if it lasted for too long he wouldn’t have the strength to leave him.

But George wouldn’t let go of him.

“No! Don’t…don’t leave! Please, don’t leave me…!”

No. No. No. It just wasn’t the right time to do that.

“I’ll do anything you want me to! I know I can’t replace your family…but I need you!”

He needed to leave now. He wouldn’t change his mind. He couldn’t.

He struggled to get free from his grip, but in the end, he managed to run away. His stomach ached more and more with every step he took. He rushed downstairs without looking back. It was becoming hard for him to breathe again.

“If you go through that door, it’s no use coming back! d’you hear me?!” He heard him shout from atop the stairs. “I won’t forgive you for leaving!!!”

He noticed Arthur was near the door waiting for him. They needed to leave before it completely degenerated. He motioned for the door with a move of his head. Arthur looked a bit confused, an expression so unusual on his face, but he didn’t have time to wonder about that.

“Let’s go,” he simply said as he grabbed his arm and opened the door.

“It’s over for good between us!!! Don’t come back again!!!” He heard George shout again as they exited the hall. He proceeded with insults so they just hurried away.

It saddened him they had to part ways like this; not being able to bid goodbye properly to everyone. But he couldn’t do anything about it. They slowed down their pace as they got further and further away from the house.

“Carl! Arthur! Wait!”

They both stopped in their tracks and turned around as they heard Mrs. Hopkins’s voice calling them. They watched her skittering towards them. The snow was in no way an obstacle to her. She stopped right before him and stared at him with eyes full of sympathy and compassion. Next thing he knew, she was hugging him tightly, like a goodbye she could never find the strength to say. He could hear her voice in his mind say the words she couldn’t pronounce as her sweet smell was overwhelming his nostrils.

We are going to miss you so much.

He hugged her back like a son would with his mother. But even her hug and all the love it held weren’t enough to soothe him.

They let go of each other after a few minutes. She cupped his cheek with one hand that caressed it softly as it dropped.

“You are a very courageous boy.”

Her voice was solemn, and that was so unlike her. He could only stare back at her in silence.

“Come back to us.”

He felt she was ready to break down, but she wouldn’t show it. The pain in his heart was becoming unbearable, but he had to ignore it.

“I promise.”

He intended to keep that promise, no matter what it would take to stick to his word. He would do it. He would do anything to see him again. Them.

He saw in her eyes that she wanted to believe him, but she knew better than that.

Her eyes then shifted from him to Arthur.

“Look after him.”

He glanced at the man who was looking expressionless as usual.

“I will keep doing it for you and your husband.”

His tone was solemn, but he didn’t sound heartless.

As she kept staring at him she suddenly hugged him.

“And take care of yourself as well.”

There was a short moment of silence before he replied.

“I will.”

He didn’t seem to be able to hug her back. But at least he didn’t push her away. She let go of him after a few instants, probably knowing he wasn’t comfortable under her touch.

She looked at them without finding anything to say. It seemed that she didn’t know how to part ways with them in a way which she would find appropriate.

“You should go now. You have got a long way until you get back there, and I don’t want you to arrive too late.”

Karl couldn’t speak any longer. The lump in his throat was making him feel like he could stifle right here and now.

“Thank you for welcoming us into your parents’ home, Margaret.”

“That’s alright. Just go.”

After staying still for a few more moments, they turned back around and started walking again. He couldn’t look back at her. He just looked down as shivers were running through his body but his hands were burning.

Karl’s heart was broken, and he was feeling empty again.

Why did things have to happen that way?

“Are you sure you are going to be okay?” Arthur broke the silence after a while.

Karl only glanced at him.

“Yes.”

He didn’t say anything else afterwards. They just walked silently, making their way in the thick snow, the feeling in his chest becoming more and more oppressive. Even the feeling of the biting cold wasn’t enough to make him feel anything. His eyes started to become wet, making his vision blurry, but he wouldn’t cry. He had to remain strong.

Maybe he deserved that after all.

Hello my dear readers!
So here you go with another chapter! The end is really heartbreaking, I know, but this is for the sake of the story... 💔
💔
Take care and have a good day/ evening/night ❤️