Coming of Age - 6. Road Trip

...Gary invited us to drop in later for a tour of the motor home, and after dark, we knocked on the ornate door...

Instead of Gary, another man opened the door. He was tall, in his 40s or 50s, bald, with thick eyebrows and a black Fu Manchu mustache. He was wearing nothing but a pair of skimpy briefs, and his semi-hard cock was outlined clearly through the thin material.

His hairy chest and perfect pecs and abs took my breath away. His voice, on the other hand, scared the shit out of me. It was smarmy, effeminate, and suggestive, all at the same damn time.

“Well, hello there. You two gorgeous hunks must be Bruce and Craig. I’m Dick—that’s both my name and my best asset,” he said with a lecherous grin. We stood there wide-eyed, unsure whether to enter or run like hell.

“Dick” is also an accurate description of his personality! Let’s get the fuck outta here.

With a step back, he bowed and beckoned us inside with an exaggerated sweep of one arm. “Oh, silly boys. Don’t be afraid. Come on in! Gary went up to the camp store to buy me some cigarettes. He’ll be back in a minute. I’m sure I can make you comfortable until he gets here.”

His emphasis on “comfortable” makes me want to barf. This is not good.

We gaped at each other for a few seconds before Craig bravely led the way in.

I first noticed a floor-to-ceiling purple velvet curtain across the front of the motor home. Seeing our curiosity, Dick pulled the heavy material back, revealing the driver’s and passenger’s seats.

“We keep it closed because anybody who walks by can peek in through the fucking windshield, and even though it’s kinda naughty to let them watch, we’ve learned to shield our privacy from prying eyes.”

We laughed awkwardly.

We were standing in the living/dining/kitchen space. Centered beneath a picture window were a couch and small table. Another velvet drape obscured the view from passers-by.

“The back of the bench folds down and makes a second bed. It can sleep two—as long as they know each other...really well—heh, heh, heh.” His snicker made me cringe.

The galley on the other side contained a sink, hot plate, microwave, and small refrigerator. A narrow hallway led to the bedroom where I glimpsed a king-sized bed stretched across the full width of the vehicle. Expensive-looking satin sheets were rumpled across its mattress.

“There’s a toilet and sink on the left. The shower is to the right,” Dick supplied, responding to our curious gazes at the closed doors. “Feel free to poke around all you want.” He chuckled at his double-entendre.

I’m getting fucking sick of this asshole’s constant hints and dirty jokes. If he doesn’t stop that shit soon, I’m getting’ outta here.

We cautiously stepped down the hall and stared in amazement at the gigantic bed. “Wow!” Craig exclaimed, “This is like four times the size of our fuckin tiny bed.”

“Oh, but I bet your bed is cozier,” the son of a bitch had quietly followed us and now jumped into the conversation, “and a lot more intimate—”

We both turned to stare at him, and he smiled wickedly. “Sometimes I have to chase Gary all over the place just to nail his sweet ass,” Dick teased.

Trapped at the edge of the enormous bed, we exchanged uncomfortable looks. I tried to think of some excuse to thank Dick for the look inside the goddamn motor home and get the fuck out. We inched past the older man and scurried toward the door to escape just as it opened, and Gary came in.

“Here you are, lover-boy!” Dick greeted him, and pushed by us to give him a sloppy kiss on the lips.

Looking up at us, Gary smiled, “I see this flaming faggot has been giving you the ‘ladies-only’ tour of the place. Don’t worry. He doesn’t bite—unless you ask him to!”

His teasing broke the ice, and we all enjoyed a laugh. Gary invited us to join them for a drink on the couch.

Craig and I took one side, while our two hosts sat on the other. Gary handed out four glasses, reached over, and opened the refrigerator. Instead of wine or beer, he brought out a thick glass bottle with Spanish writing on it.

“You dudes like Tequila?” he offered with an encouraging smile.

“Uh, never tried it,” Craig admitted.

“Me, neither,” I confessed.

“Oh, you’ve gotta taste it at least once in your life, honey,” Dick gushed. “In fact, for some people, it’s the last thing they ever taste in their life!”

We gawked at him in shock.

“Cool it, Momma,” Gary warned his housemate. “You’ll fucking scare them away.”

Turning to us, he explained, “She has to throw everything at you all at once. I guess you two youngsters are barely beginning to figure out what the world has to offer, and you’re perfectly happy banging the shit out of each other every night. Am I right?”

We both blushed, but neither of us could say anything. We realized we were in the presence—hell, in the home—of two gay men who possessed a wealth of experience we could only imagine.

After what seemed like a long, deadly silence, Gary let out a jovial laugh.

“All right, all right, guys. We’re sorry—seriously. We were having some fun with you. We sometimes forget what it’s like to be young and in love, and we’re too hardened by this cruel old world to remember to tread lightly with gorgeous innocent studs like the two of you. Forgive us, please.”

My voice started out shaky, “To tell you the truth, dropping into your place is like drinking from a fire hose. I won’t shit you—we’re kinda overwhelmed right now. But, hell, that’s what this trip is all about—discovering the world and where we fit in it. So, bring on the hooch, and let’s find out what it fuckin does to us.”

The ice was broken, and the four of us laughed heartily. Two gay men were making no secret of who they were, so Craig and I dropped our guard and sat holding hands and occasionally nuzzling each other’s necks.

“Ooh, they are so precious. Just like virgin lovers, aren’t they, Gary?” Dick sounded a little jealous. “Remember when we were like them?”

“We were never like them, Dickie-poo. You were past 40 and I was 28 when we met, and we were both already worn-out old cunts, if you recall.”

Grimacing, Dick growled, “Well, we were like them some time or other, somewhere, with someone. Everybody starts that way. You fucking know I’m right.” He sulked, and Gary reached over, cupped his chin, and kissed him.

“That’s so true, Sweetie, and I’m sorry I ragged on you. Of course, we were all in love the first time.” Turning to us, he raised an eyebrow. “This is your first time, isn’t it, boys?”

We were speechless again. Finally, Craig spoke up.

“Listen, guys. I’m sure you’re enjoying ragging on us, and we’re cool with it. I guess we look like a couple of numb-nuts compared to two uh...older men like you. And it’s the truth—we just fuckin graduated from high school and are tooling around in that goddamn tiny Airstream, out on our own and free to do whatever the hell we want for the first time in our lives.”

He turned to me with a warm smile. “But first love or what-the-fuck, I can tell you we’re having a damn good time, and we’re glad to meet you, but we gotta be going now.” He stood to leave, and I moved to follow him.

Gary sprang to his feet and pleaded, “Oh shit, no! Please, guys—Bruce, Craig—don’t go. Listen, we get stir-crazy in this fucking shitmobile, and the odds of running into another gay couple are like zero to none, so we overdid it. We know it, and we’re sorry, but it was all harmless fun, and we honestly do like you.”

I bet you’d like us even more if we took off our clothes and jumped into your goddamn bed with you.

“And we hope you’ll stay and at least have one drink with us,” Dick whined.

The two of us exchanged worried glances. We wanted to put some distance between ourselves and these over-the-top queers, but they were apologizing, so it didn’t seem right to walk out on them.

“OK,” I granted reluctantly, “One drink of that Tequila shit or whatever you’ve got.”

Something tells me we’re making a major mistake, but politeness has been ingrained into us since we were children, so I guess we stay.

Gary poured the Mexican liquor and Dick led us in some kind of toast in broken Spanish. I had never tasted Tequila before, so this was going to be a new experience for me. We all tapped our glasses together, and I took an unenthusiastic swallow of the crystal-clear liquid.

Instantly, my throat was on fire. Then the burn hit my esophagus, followed by my stomach. I almost spit it out, and Craig choked on his.

“Goddamn!” he shouted, shaking his head with tears streaming down his cheeks. “What is this shit?”

Gary and Dick were laughing their asses off so hard they just about fell out of their seats. Gary jumped up and rushed over to the refrigerator. He took out a bottle of milk and poured two glasses, handing them to us.

“Never drink water after alcohol—it makes the burn worse. Drink this, and it will cool down your throat and tummy.”

Craig and I quickly downed the milk. It took away most of the pain, but I didn’t want to take my second sip of Tequila for as long as I lived.

At last, I was able to speak, and I was pissed. “Goddammit, Dudes, that was totally fucking cruel. You knew what that shit would do, and you let us chug it. What the fuck is the matter with you two?”

Gary and Dick were crestfallen. Dick hung his head and whimpered a little.

Gary ventured, “I’m so sorry.”

He paused, choosing his words carefully. “The truth is, neither of us has been around guys your age in forever, and we just plain don’t know how to behave. We would love to get in your pants, but we’re afraid saying so would scare you off.”

He tried a friendly smile. “And besides, you are so obviously in love with each other, and I doubt you are the least bit interested in fucking anybody else. So there. I guess we made a total mess of things.”

He stood up and motioned toward the door. “And if you wanted to leave now, well, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Craig started to slide out from behind the table, but I put a hand on his arm. “Wait a minute.” Confused, he stopped.

I turned to the two men seated opposite me. “Guys, we’re partly to blame here,” I began.

“You’re right—we’re a couple of dumbass dudes, out for a joyride, fucking our brains out every night, and we’ve never met gay men before—at least not that we knew they were gay. This is all a bit much for us to take in.”

Gary was nodding as he sat back down, and Dick reached across the table to put his clammy hand on mine.

His voice was all sugary, “We’re so sorry. You are such nice boys that we were fucking crazy to treat you this way. Can you ever forgive us?”

“I...guess so.” I jerked my hand away.

I looked at Craig, then back at our hosts. “In fact, we were planning on building a campfire tonight and drinking some beers and maybe smoking some weed. If you’d like to come over in about half an hour, you’re welcome to. And you can bring your stinkin’ Tequila with you, too, if you want to. But don’t expect us to drink any!”

As we left, Gary and Dick were still apologizing, but they did promise to come over when we got the fire going.

True to their word, they showed up with their bottle of Mezcal, and they were smart enough not to offer any to us.

For the next couple of hours, the four of us sat in lawn chairs with the fire burning brightly between us and shot the shit. Craig and I drank a few beers and passed around a couple of joints.

By ten o’clock, we were feeling no pain and almost beginning to click as friends. I was forced to admit I was curious about what it was like to live as a gay adult man, although I wasn’t so sure these two were actually adults.

We had started out evenly spaced around the fire pit, but by now, Craig was sitting on the ground between my knees, leaning back into me, and I had draped my arms over his shoulders, toying with his chest. Gary and Dick apparently found us endearing, and they were nestled right up against each other with their elbows intertwined.

Those two look so uncomfortable I don’t believe they cuddle up like this very often, if ever. Are they putting on some kind of fucking show for our benefit, maybe to get us to relax so they can lure us back into the Fleetwood? Not a chance in hell we’d do that!

Craig yawned loudly, and the rest of us laughed. “Looks like it’s beddy-bye time, Craigy.” I leaned down and kissed the top of his head. Gary and Dick stood up and stretched, and we did the same.

“How long are you planning to stay here?” Gary inquired with forced innocence.

“Well, nothing is set in stone, but I guess another day or two should do it,” I answered guardedly. “Of course, we’re free spirits, so you might look out your window tomorrow morning, and we’d be gone.”

“Oh, I hope not. If you’re into hiking, there’s a great trail up the road from here, and I’d love to show it to you.” For some reason, I got the impression Gary was speaking only to me, but I brushed off the thought.

“Let’s wait and see how things look in the morning,” I replied. We said goodnight and retired to our campers—Craig and me to our tiny toaster-on-wheels, and Gary and Dick to their mobile palace of earthly delights.

As we were making love a few minutes later, I said, “You know, the thought that those two gross-assed motherfuckers might be doing this too almost makes me want to stop.”

“Forget them. Even if they’re fucking, it’s nothing like what we do.”

“How’s that?”

He leaned down and kissed the back of my neck. “Because we love each other and show it all the time. Did you notice how little they do that? And how awkward they seemed out by the fire?”

“Yeah. I thought they were doing that for our benefit, or maybe they wanted to convince us we should join them—”

“Shit! That’s never gonna fucking happen!” Craig intensified his thrusting, and in no time I had forgotten all about the two old queens next door.

********

The next day, we were up early and about to jump into the Jeep to go exploring when Gary burst out his door and hurried over to us.

“If you’re interested, I’m heading for the trail today.” He looked at me, then Craig, then back to me. “Either of you?”

I tried to convey a total lack of interest. “What time were you going to leave?”

“Well, it can turn out to be really damn hot by afternoon, so the sooner, the better,” Gary explained.

I turned to Craig, trying to signal he should give me some reason why I couldn’t go with Gary. “What do you say?”

He missed my signal. “I’m beat, but if you want to go, it’s fine with me. Just don’t break your fuckin neck, get eaten by a bear, or bitten by a goddamn rattlesnake!”

Gary laughed, “I’ll take good care of him, Craig. And we’ll stick to the well-worn tourist trails—nothing off the beaten path.”

Craig began to straighten up the campsite, and after ducking back into the Fleetwood to tell Dick where we were going, Gary joined me in the Jeep.

A visitor’s center sat at the trailhead where we picked up several bottles of ice-cold water and stuffed them into the backpack Gary brought. Following the map we got from the ranger, we headed up a moderate incline.

“How far are we going to go?” I wondered.

“I usually decide how much time I have, hike for half of it, then double back. So, whenever you think we’ve gone about as far as you want, say so, and we’ll head down.” He grinned and winked at me.

I must be fucking crazy. Every goddamn thing the son of a bitch says sounds like he’s talking about sex!

I forced a smile, and we set off. The day was warm but not oppressive. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and a gentle breeze cooled us as we hiked. The incline got steeper as we moved up the mountain, but I grew up on the slopes of the Rockies, so I was used to steep trails.

We took a break about every hour or so, and we only talked when sitting on the trail’s side. The rest of the time, we stayed lost in our own thoughts and the scenic beauty surrounding us.

On one of the breaks, Gary asked me, “How long have you and Craig been together?”

I was surprised to hear it put in those words, but I figured it must be how gay men described their relationships. “We’ve known each other for six years and been best friends for most of the time.”

Gary’s expression told me he expected more, so I added cautiously, “But we’ve only been...uh, physical...for about five months.”

“First love for both of you?”

“I suppose you could call it that.”

“Well, what do you call it?”

I was stymied. He was asking me things I had never even thought about. “I-I guess we just call it ‘being together.’ ”

“And having sex?”

“Yeah...having sex.” I blushed a little.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Sex is an important—if not the most important—part of any relationship, especially at the beginning. It’s what brings us together. And if everything else is good, sex is what keeps us together.”

“May I ask you a question?” I turned to face him.

“Sure.”

“You and Dick met when you were 28, right?”

“Right—” He waited to learn where this was going.

“And how old are you now, if it’s not too personal?”

“Hell, no, it’s not personal—I’m 34.”

I hesitated, gathering the nerve to ask what I really wanted to know. “How many men have you been ‘together’ with?”

Taken aback by my unexpected directness, Gary replied cautiously, “I guess I’d have a tough time saying—”

I’m sure my face shows how surprised and...disgusted I am by what he said. But maybe I’m just being naïve.

He thought a moment, “Don’t take it the wrong way. I have a pretty good idea how many men I’ve fucked—at least when I wasn’t too drunk or high to remember or when it’s been in a whole group. But ‘together with’ is kind of hard to define.”

“Why?”

“Because it constantly changes with the situation. Age, experience, what you’re into, and who you’re with can factor into what you do and what it means to you.”

I mulled over his explanation a few minutes before asking, “So, you’ve fucked men you weren’t ‘together’ with?”

“Of course...hasn’t everyone?” He quickly caught himself. “At least, after the first few times.”

I was silent, considering Gary’s words.

“How about you and Craig? Are you in love?” I was surprised at the directness of his question, but he answered mine, so I had to say something.

I sighed. It isn’t because I couldn’t answer him, but I’m not sure what to call “love” and what to call “sex.”

I compromised. “We love having sex with each other.” He chuckled, and I repeated, “and we’re best friends.”

“Friendship is another key part of a relationship,” Gary observed sagely. He reached over and pressed his hand on top of mine, giving it a little squeeze. “I’m happy for you.” He smiled as he took it away. “And it does my heart good to believe love still exists.”

“Aren’t you and Dick in love?”

“Oh, I don’t think I’d call it ‘love.’ We’re good together. We both have what we need, and we keep out of each other’s way—”

Does that mean what I think it does?

“You mean you have sex with other men?”

“Occasionally.” He clearly didn’t like the direction this discussion was taking.

“Does he?”

“Uh, no.” I could tell he was searching for some kind of justification.

“Dick is kind of a homebody. He’s happy with me and doesn’t need to find fun anywhere else. But he doesn’t complain if I sleep around every once in a while.”

I thought about his words in silence. As I was about to stand up, he reached over and rested his hand on mine again. I stared down at it like it was some foreign object.

“Gary—” I began, and he quickly took his hand away.

“Sorry.” He gathered his thoughts. “Only, you’re so attractive, and I am kind of jealous of Craig because he gets all your attention and—”

“Sex?”

“Yes, goddammit, sex!”

He leaned in and pulled me toward him. For some reason I can’t explain, I didn’t resist. Our lips met, and an electric thrill ran through my body.

I love having sex with Craig, and I want to keep doing it forever. But now, a handsome older man finds me sexy enough to risk having me kick his ass down the fucking hillside.

I gently put my hands on the sides of his face and pulled back slowly.

“I’m...attracted...to you, too, Gary. At least, that’s what I think I would call it. The idea that a hot guy is interested in me makes me feel good. But since you ask, I do love Craig, and I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him—not in any way, with anyone, no matter how attracted to them I am.”

He nodded solemnly. “I’m sorry, Bruce. I—”

“You don’t have to say it,” I smiled warmly, “and thank you for the tempting offer. But you understand what I’m saying, don’t you?”

He nodded again and got to his feet, extending his hand to help me up.

While we were so deep in conversation, the weather had changed dramatically. The wind was chilly and much stronger. Dark clouds were racing by overhead, and we heard the distant, ominous rumble of thunder.

“We’d better haul our asses off this mountain, and pronto!” he urged.

We retraced our steps as the storm approached. Bolts of lightning and explosions of thunder pursued us, closing in by the minute. It felt like we were running for our lives.

The deluge caught up with us as we crested the last hill above the ranger station. A solid curtain of ice-cold water came down the trail behind us and quickly overtook us, drenching us. We went as fast as we dared, avoiding the streamlets cascading around our boots.

It probably only took five minutes, but it seemed a lot longer before we burst through the door of the ranger station, dripping wet and soaked to the skin.

A grizzled old man in a tan shirt surveyed us and shook his head. “Well, you boys just about made it.” We nodded, laughing at the complete mess our clothes were in.

“Best get outta them duds ‘fore you catch yer death o’ cold,” the old ranger opined. “You’ll find a coupla blankets over there in the closet.” He gestured toward a door on the far side of the room. “Rest room’s around back, but you better cut through my office, seein’ as how it’s rainin’ so hard. There’s a shower if you wanta warm up.”

We thanked him and retrieved two thick, wooly blankets from the closet. We hurried through the ranger’s office, trying not to drip all over everything. Entering the men’s room through the private door, we found ourselves alone in a dimly-lit space. It was warm and dry, and our eyes adjusted to the low light as the rain pounded on a metal roof above us like a cannonade.

“Where the hell is everybody?” I wondered aloud.

“They probably had sense enough to clear out when they saw the storm coming. Your Jeep is the only vehicle left in the parking lot.”

“Oh, shit! The top’s down, too!”

“Well, we can’t be any wetter, that’s for sure.”

We set aside the heavy blankets and began to undress. Our boots were caked with mud and wet inside and out. We took them off and banged them on the pavement outside the entrance to the restroom. Back indoors, we pulled off soaked socks, shorts, and shirts.

With a nod of his head, Gary indicated a stall in the corner of the room. “A hot shower would be fantastic right now.”

“Who goes first?”

He grinned mischievously. “Oh, it’s big enough for two to squeeze in. And besides, we can soap each other’s backs.”

I bet that’s not all he’d like to do. What a fucking asshole! Didn’t he understand what I said up on the goddamn mountain? I’m with Craig, and that’s all there is to it.

Facing me, he winked and stripped off his briefs, revealing a cock that would do justice to any of the models at the back of Hustler magazine. With one hand, he stretched it and shook it out a little, probably to show off and try to lure me into being interested.

Fat chance, asswipe. I told you I’m not fucking interested, and that’s all there is to say.

With a grin and a jerk of his head toward the shower stall, he walked over and stepped into it. Turning the water on, he reached behind himself, pulled his ass cheeks apart, and ran a hand up and down his crack as the water flowed down his back.

“Are you joining me?” He looked back at me over his shoulder, and his leer made the invitation clear.

Don’t do it. Stay out of the goddamn shower with him. He’s already showing you what he wants. Goddammit, don’t fucking do it!

But it was too easy to ignore the voice in my head. I stripped off my underwear and joined Gary in the stall.

It took a while to adjust the water temperature, so I stood behind him and admired his broad back and perfect butt cheeks. His body rippled with muscles.

Satisfied the water was hot enough, he spun around to face me. His cock was hard, and in the tiny space it slapped my thigh when he turned.

“Holy shit!” I exclaimed, blushing a deep crimson.

“Like it?”

My voice quavered, “It’s...big.”

“Big enough for you?”

I didn’t answer. Squeezing past him, I stepped under the spray and began to soap up.

“I’ll do your back for you.”

I can guess what he means. I know I should get the fuck out and wait until he’s finished, but goddammit, I’m so turned on by this whole scene that I don’t have the strength or willpower to make myself do it.

Not trusting my voice, I silently handed the bar of Ivory back to him. He soaped up his hands and massaged my shoulders. Ignoring my misgivings, I sighed with pleasure.

“Feels good?”

“Feels fuckin great.”

Holy fuckin shit! What am I doing?

Gary’s hands gradually made their way under my armpits and down my back. I shivered when he softly grazed my ass cheeks.

“Water getting too cold?”

“Um...no. It’s all fine.”

“Great, ‘cause it’s fine with me, too.”

He spread apart my cheeks with his soapy hands and ran his fingertips up and down my crack. Despite everything my brain was screaming, I leaned back into his palms.

“Oh. You like this, do you?”

“I-I guess.”

He removed his hands and reached around me to rinse them as the water flowed down my back. He slid his hands down my chest until he reached my hard-on. He stroked it a couple of times and I couldn’t help but moan with pleasure.

“I would say you also like this.”

I couldn’t answer. I can’t stop him. I want to, but I fucking can’t. Shit!

Letting go of my cock, he knelt behind me in the cramped stall. He kissed my ass cheeks and buried his face in my crack. His hot tongue made contact with my pucker, sending even more shivers up and down my spine.

Pulling back slightly, he snickered, “I’m finding a lot of things you like, Bruce.”

I don’t dare answer. I can’t trust my goddamn voice at this point. Why the fuck am I giving in to him like this?

Gary stood and hugged me from behind. As my back snuggled up to his chest, his hard-on pressed against my ass cheeks. I leaned my head back and turned toward his face. We kissed under the warm spray.

He removed one hand from around me and reached down to his crotch. “I bet you’ll like this, too.”

He slid his giant cock up and down my crack a few times, and I felt pressure on my hole. Something exploded in my mind. I lurched forward and banged my forehead on the shower head.

“Ow. Goddammit!”

He pulled back. “You OK?”

I jumped out of the stall and stumbled across the little room, grabbing my blanket and wrapping it tightly around my body with my back to the shower. I felt my forehead, and it was bleeding slightly.

Gary turned off the water and pushed the curtain aside. His massive erection pointed straight at me, pulsing like a one-eyed monster. The expression on his face was beyond grim.

“What the fuck are you up to? Are you some kind of fucking cock-tease? Don’t tell me you didn’t want it as much as I did.”

I glared at him furiously. ‘I-I don’t fucking know what I wanted. But I know what I want right now. I’m leaving, and if you don’t fucking get dressed in the next couple of minutes, I’m gonna leave your sorry ass right here.”

In no time we were in my Jeep, carefully navigating the rain-slicked road as we made our way down the mountain.

“Kind of awkward, isn’t it?” Gary goaded me with a haughty laugh. “You say you aren’t interested, but you act like you are, and now you threaten to abandon me. What the fuck is it with you?”

I faced him, humbled by the truth of his accusation. “I’m sorry. I’m fucking confused as shit. I was interested, all right.” His head jerked up. “But I already told you I love Craig, and I’m not gonna do anything to hurt him.”

“What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him—”

“That’s bullshit. He would know...or I would, and that would be worse.”

“What if we invited Craig to join us?” Gary gave me a sly wink.

“What the fuck? Are you fucking serious?”

“Sure am. I’ve done it plenty of times, and it’s always a lot of fun for everybody.”

“Can you picture the three of us rolling around in our tiny bed in the Airstream? We’d end up so jammed in the EMTs would have to cut us out with the fucking jaws of life. And buck naked, too!”

He laughed at the mental image I had drawn. “Seriously, though, I wasn’t thinking about your camper.” He smiled. “We have plenty of room in ours.”

I immediately imagined Dick naked, trying to talk one of us into sucking his ancient cock. I shook my head. “But it wouldn’t be three—.”

“As I told you, Dickie and I have an open relationship. I’ll tell him it’ll be just the three of us. He’ll be OK.”

“And that wouldn’t hurt his feelings?”

“We’ve done it before.”

“You have? Often?”

Annoyed, Gary snorted, “Often enough. Listen, it’s no big deal for us. We have plenty of fun together. I’m the kind of guy who needs more variety in my life, and Dick is desperate for me to stick around, so he’s fine with it.”

“Sounds like emotional blackmail to me.” I immediately regretted my choice of words.

“Well, fuck you!” he snapped, his face turning beet red. “It’s not, for your information. And maybe when you grow up a bit, you’ll learn there’s a hell of a lot more to the world than your little romantic idyll with your boyfriend!” He pulled his jacket tight and turned to stare out the side window.

We didn’t speak on the rest of the drive back to the campground, except for him to gruffly give me directions. When I parked the Jeep, he sprang out and disappeared into the Fleetwood. The door was too light-weight to slam, but it sounded as if he tried anyway.

Craig came out of the little Airstream to meet me.

“Shit! You’re soaking wet!” he exclaimed when he saw me.

“Brilliant fuckin observation, Sherlock.”

Noticing the dried blood on my forehead, he worried, “What the fuck happened? How did you do that? Are you OK?”

I touched the spot. “It’s nothing. Just a little accident.”

“Where’s Gary? Was he soaked, too?”

“Duh. We got caught on the trail, about a mile from ranger station, in the biggest goddamn thunder and lighting storm I’ve ever seen, not to mention a solid fuckin wall of water trying to wash us down the mountain.”

Sure, I exaggerated, but I’m pissed—at Gary, at myself, even at Craig for not going with me.

“Didn’t you see it coming? The rangers came to every campsite and warned us to take shelter.”

“There’s a lot I didn’t see coming,” I told him cryptically. “Now I want to get out of these fuckin wet clothes and warm up.”

I brushed past Craig and climbed into the camper. I stripped and tossed everything I’d been wearing out the front door. I dried off with three towels and lay back on the tiny bed, pulling the bedspread over my naked body.

My lover came in with concern on his face and worry in his voice. “What the hell happened?”

“Nothing! Not a goddamned thing.”

His face betrayed his apprehension. “Bruce, I know you, and something is bothering you—something besides the worst goddamn storm I’ve ever been through happened up on the mountain. Now tell me, what the fuck was it?”

I glared at him in anger. Then I stopped, shocked by my thoughts.

I have no reason to be pissed off at him. I should be mad as hell at Gary and even madder at myself.

I took several deep breaths, and Craig sat down on the edge of the bed by my feet. Lovingly, he began to stroke them through the bedspread.

“Come on, baby. Whatever it is, you know you can tell me.”

I rose on my elbows and faced my best friend in the world with a mix of love and fear. “I almost...did something.”

“The ‘almost’ I like. What is the something?”

“Gary kissed me.”

“The motherfucker! I’ll beat the shit out of him.”

“No you won’t.” I took a shaky breath. “I kissed him back.”

“So, the kiss is the ‘something’, and the ‘almost’ is what you two would have done next.”

“We weren’t going to fuck, right on the trail, for shit’s sake!” I tried to defend myself.

“Glad to hear it. So where were you going to do it? In here? In his trailer?” There was now an edge to his voice.

I shot up like a bolt, crawled to the foot of the bed, and hugged my lover tightly.

“I told you—nothing fucking happened. Nothing!” I hung my head, “He wanted it to, and I almost did, too, but I told him I love you and would never—” I took a breath, “and then he suggested a three-way with you.”

“You love me?”

“Of course I fuckin love you, you damn lunkhead!”

“I love you too, and I love when you say that.” Craig leaned in and we kissed, holding each other tight.

After the kiss, he added, “So why the hell did you go off with a hot guy who wants to fuck you and leave me here all alone with Mr Ugliest-Ass of 1981?”

“Did Dick try anything with you?”

“I’m not sure you would call it trying. He’s fuckin gross. He kind of hinted that if I was lonely while you were gone, he would be glad to ‘meet my needs, if you know what I mean.’ ”

“The goddamn piece of shit!”

“I figured he already knew Gary was going to try something with you.”

“Yeah, the son of a bitch told me they have an ‘open relationship’. Apparently, it means he can fuck anybody he wants to, and Dick has to put up with it or he’s out on his ass.”

“Dick owns the Fleetwood. He’s the one with all the money.”

“Figures. Gary is out for fun, and he’s got a cozy setup if you ask me.”

Craig was silent for a while, but I could tell something was on his mind.

He ventured a shy smile, “A three-way. With you and me. At the same time?”