Coming of Age - 7. Painful Memories

Stunned by Craig’s apparent interest in a three-way with Gary, I pulled back and looked him in the eye. “No fuckin way! Are you out of your goddamn mind?”

He gave me a mischievous smile. “Well, on the one hand, letting you find out the grass isn’t always greener wouldn’t be a bad idea. And on the other hand...it’s kind of tempting, don’t you think?”

Where the fuck is this going? Is he serious or is he fucking with me? I don’t want anything else to do with Gary or Dick, and I sure as shit don’t wanna have sex with either of them.

With all the seriousness I was able to muster, I assured him, “First of all, I love you, and as a matter of fact I don’t think the grass is greener with anybody else. And second—are you fucking telling me you would actually have sex with him while I watch?”

“Or the other way around,” he grinned, “or we all three do it to each other, at the same time.”

“Fuck! I can’t imagine how it would work.”

“So, aren’t you at least a little bit curious?”

I stopped and thought for a long time.

I guess it is an exciting proposition in some ways, and it would take our love life to a new plateau if we can do it without being jealous. But there’s one big fucking problem.

“And what about Mr Ugliest-Ass of 1981? Do you mind doing it with Dick there?”

“Ugh!” Craig made a gagging sound. “He’s fuckin gross as shit. Would he be getting in on it?”

“I don’t think so. According to Gary, they’ve worked it out before. Maybe it means Dick cools his heels in another room, leaves, or sits in the corner and jacks off while we go at it.”

“Shit! No way I’d do it with that goddamn sicko watching.”

“Me, neither.” I stopped short. “Why the fuck are we even talking about this? Are we seriously considering doing it?”

Please say no, Craig. Please just fucking say no.

We stared at each other in silence for a long time, unwilling to be the first to continue the conversation.

Finally, Craig spoke. “Was he a good kisser?” His words broke the tension.

I laughed out loud. “Not the best, but I am in love with the world’s absolute best kisser—and sucker, and fucker!”

“I think I need a little weed,” Craig announced.

“Me, too.” I pulled on a pair of gym shorts and followed him.

We stepped outside and gingerly disappeared behind the Airstream, so Gary and Dick wouldn’t see us while we were deciding whether or not to go through with it.

Craig lit the pipe and we shared big hits, relaxing in awkward silence. I tried to convince myself it would be all right to try what Craig was so eager to do.

We’ll be there together, and it will be like when we’re alone having sex. Except there’ll be another person joining in. Shit! I fucking don’t want to do this. But I love Craig, and he does.

“Can we stop if we don’t like it?” My voice betrayed my hesitation.

“Hell, yes. Any time you’re uncomfortable or want us to leave, just say the word, and we’re fuckin outta there.”

“Even if you’re enjoying it?”

“How the fuck would I enjoy something if it was making you miserable? Give me some credit. I love you, too, you dumb shit.”

I grinned and Craig refilled the pipe. Once it burned out again, we snuck back into our camper and changed our clothes. I didn’t want to show up in the same damp jeans and tee I had worn on the hike with Gary.

Fifteen minutes later, I knocked on the door of the Fleetwood. Craig stood next to me with his arm tightly gripping mine.

Is he doing this for moral support or to keep me from running away?

Gary opened the door with shock and surprise on his face. He looked scared, perhaps thinking Craig had come over to beat the shit out of him for hitting on me. Dick appeared behind him, peeked over Gary’s shoulder, and broke into a leering smile.

“You see, Sweetie. I told you so. The pretty boys have come over to do you, like you wanted them to.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Gary ordered. Looking at me with suspicion, he demanded, “Why are you here?”

Mustering false confidence, I replied simply, “Turns out, Craig likes the idea.”

“And what about you?”

“I guess.”

“You guess?”

Defensively, I blurted, “Well, shit, I’ve never done anything like that before...but it kinda turns me on...a little.”

Gary relaxed, opened the door, and cautiously ushered us in. “Are you sure about this?” Neither of us answered, but we went in.

I looked around. Dick was stretched out on the couch under the window, sipping what appeared to be a generous shot of tequila. He smiled at me and wiggled his fingers in the air as he addressed Gary.

“Go ahead, Big Boy, tell him what you want to do to him.”

“Shut the fuck up and move your fat ass over,” Gary ordered. Grumbling like a prissy cat, Dick made room on the couch. Craig and I sat opposite the two of them. It looked like a council of war.

I mustered my courage and began, “Look, you were right about how...inexperienced we both are.” I turned to Craig, who nodded and added, “All we know how to do is fuck our asses off until we come.”

Dick giggled like a little girl, and Gary taunted, “And you want more?”

“That’s part of the problem,” I explained. “We have no idea what more is.”

Gary was thoughtful. “I see. Well, since you’re beginners, I guess we should keep it simple and straightforward.”

“What are you talking about?” Craig was apprehensive.

“Oh, the usual things—sucking and fucking. Nothing involving toys, bondage, pain, piss, or shit.”

We both stared at him wide-eyed. I had to restrain myself from jumping up and dashing out the door.

He laughed out loud. “Just fucking with you boys.” He looked at each of us, one at a time. “But we need to be clear on the roles.”

“Roles?” I tried to keep my voice from quavering.

“Who does what, and to whom.”

“How many options are there?”

“Oh, there’s plenty, depending on how adventurous you two are.”

I was beginning to chicken out. Craig sensed it and came to my rescue, “But we don’t have to do everything that’s possible—only what we’re cool about doing.”

“Preee-cisely.” Gary exaggerated.

I looked over at Dick with an expression of distrust. “And what about you?”

Dick’s smile dripped with honey. “Why, I can do whatever you boys want—” With a sad voice, he added, “or nothing at all.”

“Will you be watching?” Craig looked at him suspiciously.

“Not if you don’t want me to,” the disappointment in his voice almost made me reconsider. “But I can be quiet as a church mouse when necessary.”

“Unh-unh. Hell, no!” Craig insisted, shaking his head emphatically. “Nowhere. Around. At all. Or fuckin forget it.”

“It’s not a problem,” Gary interjected. “We have done this before, and we can deal with it.”

I looked at Dick, who appeared to be offended. Turning to Gary, I accused, “Are you sure this is OK with your...lover?”

His response was firm, and I figured it was meant for Dick, not us. “We have a special relationship, and it is flexible enough to accommodate most...situations.” He turned to his housemate. “Isn’t that right, Dickie?”

Sullenly, Dick nodded.

“Where will you be?” I directed my question at the spurned lover.

“I usually go out to the car, lock myself in, and fall asleep with a bottle.” I pictured Dick passed out in the back seat of the little compact car they towed behind the Fleetwood and felt sorry for him.

True, he is kinda gross, and his unequal relationship with a man ten years younger is pathetic, but, shit, it apparently works for them, so why is it any of my fucking concern?

“That doesn’t sound fair!” Craig exclaimed. Immediately realizing what the alternative was, he added, “but if you don’t mind—”

“You’re a kind young man, but I know my place. I’ve had years to have all my fun, and now it’s your turn. I’m glad you’re going to do it, and I’m happy to get out of the way to make it possible.”

Dick started to scoot over, and Gary stood up to allow him to slide off the bench. Dick leaned down, kissed Craig on the forehead, and then did the same to me. “You boys play nice and have a good time.”

Then he was out the door with the tequila bottle in hand. I heard their car door open and close, followed by ominous silence.

Stretching and rolling his shoulders as if he were about to begin some strenuous exercise, Gary smiled at us both, “Shall we retire to the bedroom, gentlemen?” He walked over and locked the front door. “We’ll be needing a little privacy.” He gave us a grin that bordered on leering.

The pit of my stomach was roiling with terror. “I think I need a drink...or two.”

“Of course, that’s a standard part of the playtime.” He went to the fridge and removed a six-pack of beer. “If you also want marijuana, you’ll have to provide it yourselves.”

With a devious grin, Craig looked at me and pulled a baggy full of pot, papers, and a lighter from his jacket pocket and waggled it in the air. “Be prepared!” he exclaimed.

The next three hours started out calmly enough. I did a few shots of tequila and quickly chased them down with beers.

I’m kind of surprised that I didn’t choke on the harsh liquor this time. I guess the hits of weed before we came over here took the edge off. Or maybe I’m so fucking scared I can’t feel pain or anything else.

From the start, my heart wasn’t in it, but if this was something Craig wanted or needed, I fucking owed it to him to go along. I never doubted we were in love, and nothing was going to change that.

********

Around midnight, the door to the Fleetwood unlocked and opened, and Craig carried me across to our camper. I didn’t remember anything until I woke up the next morning in my underwear, made a mad dash to the tiny bathroom, and barfed my guts out into the toilet.

As I was washing my face, I sensed the warmth of Craig’s body behind me. He, too, had slept in his underwear—something we had not done on any night of our expedition. He drew me back into a hug, wrapped both arms around me, and kissed me on the neck.

I warned him, “Don’t kiss me. My breath would kill a fucking dragon!” He laughed.

I peered into the mirror and saw to my horror that I looked as shitty as I felt. My face was pale, my hair looked like I had stuck my finger in an electrical outlet, my eyes were red, and there were long trails of dried tears running down my cheeks.

I bent forward and splashed water in my face, trying to rub away any remnant of the debacle from the night before.

“That bad, eh?” Craig’s voice was sympathetic.

I raised my head and looked into his eyes in the mirror.

I croaked, “What the fuck did we do? And why the fuck did we do it?”

Shaking his head with regret, my lover muttered, “I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

I spun around to him, pulled him tight, laid my head on his shoulder, and cried like a goddamn baby.

I whimpered between the gut-wrenching sobs, “Did you like it? Do you still love me? Is this what you want to do from now on?”

I began to shiver. Sensing it, Craig hugged me and guided me back to our tiny bed. Pulling the covers over us, he surrounded me with his arms and legs, and I burrowed deep into the cocoon of warmth and security.

Craig held me in silence, waiting for me to be ready to speak.

At last, I leaned away enough to look up into his face. “I’m sorry I said that shit. I know you love me—”

“Yes, Baby, I do.” He smiled and kissed me on the forehead. “And I’m so fuckin sorry we did it, and I’m sorry if you did it because you wanted to please me. Don’t ever do that again.” He pulled me against his hot body, and I fell asleep.

It must have been an hour or more later when I woke, still engulfed in my lover’s protective embrace. As I stirred, Craig became wary. “Do you have to throw up again?”

I thought it over and shook my head, “No, I think it all came up the last time.”

He relaxed his tight grip and we both breathed more naturally. Still keeping his arms around me and his face close to mine, Craig confessed, “Listen, I figured out it was a shitty fuckin idea in the first fifteen minutes, but—”

I interrupted. “I felt the same way but didn’t know how to stop it, and I thought you were enjoying it.”

He hung his head. “Well, I was enjoying it...but then I realized you weren’t, and I wanted to call it off.”

“So why didn’t you?”

He cleared his throat. “Well, uh, you kinda fell asleep.”

“You mean I fuckin passed out from all the booze I drank—and the other shit Gary gave us.”

Craig’s face turned beet red. “Yeah, I guess so.”

I pressed him, “So, tell me. What did you and Gary do after I ‘fell asleep?’ ”

Reluctantly, Craig began to recount the events in the Fleetwood from the night before. As he spoke, my memory gradually returned, along with my horrified reaction to what happened.

********

After Dick left, the three of us went into the big bedroom of the Fleetwood, stripped off, and lay down naked on the giant bed.

Shit! I hope this goes well. I’m still scared of whatever Gary might want to do with us, and now I’m afraid Craig will want to do it, too. Fuck!

Gary positioned himself in the middle with his back against the headboard and warmly gestured for us to take positions on either side of him. We clambered over and settled in on each side of him. For a moment, it was kind of friendly—cozy, even—and my fears subsided a little.

We were all hard, and Gary’s massive cock, which I had seen in the shower, looked even bigger when he was lying down. It extended from his thick black bush, up his belly to above his navel, and a drop of precum glistened at the head.

That fucker has gotta be more than either of us can do much with.

We began by kissing—taking turns with each other and then all three at the same time. As we kissed, Gary reached down and started stroking both our cocks. We responded by gripping his thick, nine-inch pole in our hands.

I admit this is fucking turning me on—maybe it’s the weed and booze, but right now, more than anything else, I’m curious to see what three men can do together.

Gary pressed our faces downward, and we got the hint that he wanted us to suck his cock. First, Craig took it deep into his mouth, then he pulled off and let me try. After that, we each took one side of it and kissed each other up and down Gary’s hard-on. It was kind of kinky fun.

While we were going down on him, he began fingering our assholes. That was my first inkling of fear and discomfort.

If Gary thinks he’s gonna fuck both of us, we gotta get the hell out of here.

Wide-eyed, I looked across Gary’s cock, and Craig raised his eyebrows in similar concern.

Gary figured out what we were thinking because he ordered, “I want you two fuck to each other.”

I looked into Craig’s eyes, and he nodded twice.

Gary turned me around and guided me to lie on his chest facing him with our lips only inches apart. As Gary kissed me, his cock was so long and hard that it tickled my belly.

I lifted my ass for Craig, and he inched forward on his knees, ready to enter me from behind.

He stopped and looked across my back at our horny host, “Shit! I forgot to bring lube.”

“No problemo,” Gary replied and indicated the little nightstand beside the bed. Craig opened the drawer and retrieved a blue bottle. He was about to close the drawer when Gary admonished us sharply, “Don’t forget the rubbers, boys.”

Craig and I had tried fucking with a condom once or twice, but since we didn’t have sex with anybody else, we didn’t think it was necessary, and we didn’t like losing the flesh-to-flesh sensation.

The fact that Gary insists on rubbers tells me he thinks he’s going to fuck one or both of us. I’m going to have to find a way to make it clear that isn’t gonna happen.

Craig tore off one from the long string of condoms and rolled it down the length of his cock, which was almost as long as Gary’s but nowhere near as thick.

He took a healthy squirt of the lube and rubbed it all over the condom and into my butt crack. Wiping his hands on his ass, he inched forward until his cock was poised at my hole and gently entered me.

Whew! At last something that feels familiar and safe. I’m glad it’s Craig fucking me and not that asshole Gary.

I tried to forget the older dude watching us and started to enjoy the familiar sensations of having my lover inside me. If the rubber inhibited his pleasure, he gave no sign of it.

I think we were both becoming comfortable with ignoring the naked man in bed with us, and it had begun to seem like this would turn out to be the sort of fun we always had, only with a third person somehow involved.

After Craig fucked me for a while, Gary told us to trade places.

As I put a condom over my hard-on, it felt tight and unnatural. I made a mental note that Craig I would never use the goddamn things again—unless we invited someone else into our sex life, which I was also determined we would never do.

While Craig and I fucked, Gary slowly jacked his cock. Every time I looked at it, I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

There’s no fucking way either Craig or I will be able to take that monster up our asses.

Without even realizing I was getting close, I came inside Craig’s ass, filling the rubber with my jizz. I pulled it off and looked at it. The tip hung down, heavy with pearly-white semen.

I slid it off and looked around the room. Gary reached down to the floor and handed me a small wastebasket. “Drop that fucker in here.”

Now it was Craig’s turn to go all the way with me. As my lover fucked my ass, I began to think it was kind of exciting to have sex with someone watching. Hell, we might even suck his cock if that’s all he wants.

After Craig came and deposited his used rubber in the wastebasket, Gary patted his hands on the bed beside him, indicating for us both to come up next to him. He put his arms around us, kissed each of us on the forehead, and mocked, “So, that was how you boys do it, huh?”

I didn’t like him using the word “boys,” but I let it slide.

He continued, “Now, I think it’s time you learned how men do it.” My stomach started doing flip-flops again.

Craig wavered, “I guess, but first I need another shot of that goddamn tequila.”

Gary chuckled, “Oh, I have some shit that’s much better than booze.”

He reached over to the drawer and withdrew two small bottles. He unscrewed one and shook out three gray pills into the palm of his hand.

“This stuff is great. Take one, and you’re floating on a cloud. Take two, and you’ll be so horny you would fuck a goddamn cactus if one were handy. Take three, and—” he leered at me but didn’t finish.

“Take three and what?” Craig seemed much too ready to try them.

I can’t fucking believe my boyfriend wants to try this shit.

This surprised me because all kinds of drugs had been available throughout high school, but being athletes and subject to random urine tests, we had studiously avoided them. Except for pot, of course. We knew it was only detectable for about three days after use, so we always stayed off it before any swim meet or track event.

Gary chuckled again at Craig’s eager question. He leaned forward and kissed Craig on the mouth for a long time. To my surprise, Craig put his hands on Gary’s head and savored the kiss.

After they broke apart, Gary finished his statement, “Take three, and you’ll fuck like you’ve never fucked in your life.”

I can tell Craig wants to try all three. We should get the hell out of here before it’s too goddamn late.

The first one did what Gary predicted it would. A calming warmth started to spread through my body, dispelling the nausea in my stomach. It was so relaxing I thought I might lean back and take a nap, but Gary was about to show us the next goodie in his bag of tricks.

He picked up a smaller bottle with a yellow and red label. Unscrewing the top, he placed his thumb over it and held it to his nose. He moved his thumb from the bottle to block one nostril, and took in a deep breath through the other. A few seconds later, he reversed and did the same to the other nostril.

He leaned his head back and his body quivered a little. Exhaling loudly, he spoke with a shaky voice, “Fuck, this shit’s great.”

“What the fuck is it?” Craig was more interested in what Gary was showing us than I thought he ought to be.

“Poppers,” Gary explained. “Also called bute.”

“What does it do?” There was awe and anticipation in Craig’s voice.

“Mostly, it gets your blood pumping. Specifically, it sends a rush through your body that ends up in your cock and makes it throb with pleasure. It also goes straight to your asshole and relaxes it, so it’s easy to take a cock of any size—”

I saw where this was going. “No, thanks,” I replied with alarm.

Gary looked at me and smiled, “Suit yourself.” He turned to Craig, “How about you?”

My lover looked over at me with an expression begging for permission.

“Go ahead if you want to.”

Craig repeated the little ritual we had seen Gary do, and he, too, threw his head back, trembled a little, and smiled broadly.

“Fuck! Bruce you gotta try this shit.”

Against my better judgment, I half-heartedly accepted the tiny bottle of poppers and inhaled. As soon as the vapor hit the inside of my nose, I felt a rush through my whole body.

It did NOT feel good, so I put the bottle down and declared, “That’s enough for me.”

Gary smiled, “No problemo, Brucie. What the poppers don’t do for you, the pills will.” He shook two more into my hand with a devilish grin and watched as I swallowed them hesitantly, washing them down with tequila.

And that was the last thing I remembered.

I guess I blacked out or passed out, but whatever happened afterward, I didn’t recall anything the next day. I was scared shitless I had done things with Gary I didn’t want to do, which would be so wrong.

Hell, maybe it would even be called rape if I was unconscious or so spaced out I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. But I’ve never heard of a man arrested for raping another man, so I fucking hope all I did was pass out and sleep.

********

As Craig paused in his recounting of the evening, the returning memories faded out. I looked at him—imploring, willing him to tell me nothing else happened—especially that nothing happened to me while I was passed out.

I looked up at him and sighed deeply. Voice trembling, I admitted, “I don’t remember a fucking thing after Gary gave me those goddamn pills.”

“It’s probably a good thing.”

I bolted upright, nearly knocking Craig into the wall next to the tiny bed. “What the fuck are you talking about?” I glared at him with rage and fear.

Wide-eyed, Craig hastily reassured me, “Bruce, you didn’t do anything except fall asleep, I swear to God!”

“What did you do?”

He hung his head. “I’d rather not go into the gory details, but let’s leave it that I did just about every fuckin thing Gary suggested.”

“Like what?”

He blushed. “Um...he ate my ass, I ate his, and we sucked each other’s cocks, and then...I let him fuck me—”

“With his goddamn monster prick?”

“Yep,” he took a deep breath and shook his head in disbelief.

“With the help of the poppers I kept snorting the whole time, plus a shitload of lube, I somehow managed to get his big fucker inside me. He fucked me so hard and fast it almost ripped my guts out, and my asshole was bleeding when I woke up this morning.”

“Why the fuck did you let him do it?”

Craig shook his head. “I don’t fuckin know, Bruce! At the time, I wanted him to. I thought it was some kind of goddamn adventure. I never had the chance to do anything like that, and—”

“And you’re getting bored only fucking me all the time.”

He jumped, startled by the harsh accusation. “No, Bruce. That’s not it.”

He paused. “I mean, I’m not bored with sex with you. I love it, and it’s plenty good, all the time. It was—oh, fuck, I don’t know what the hell it was.”

Craig’s eyes cast downward and he whispered, “I just wanted to see what it would be like with Gary.”

When he looked at me again, I saw terror in his eyes. I guess he was expecting an outburst of some kind.

I ought to be shocked, pissed off, and hurt, all at the same time.

But I didn’t feel that way. I loved him, and I knew he was fucking horny all the time. His sexual appetite was big enough for both of us, and I had often wondered if I was giving him all the pleasure he needed.

To tell the truth, I had also thought about what it might be like to have sex with other guys. But ever since Craig and I had given our virginity to each other, there was something like a sacred bond between us, and to have sex with anybody else would be a violation of that trust.

I have to admit I'm not surprised Craig wanted to see what it would be like to have sex with someone other than me. But why did it have to be with a fucking asshole like Gary?

“Is that all? I mean, all that happened?”

Craig hesitated. “No. Not exactly.”

My eyes narrowed. “What, exactly?”

He paused, swallowed, and gazed deep into my eyes. “After he finished all the shit he did with me...uh...Gary wanted to do something with you.”

“I kind of figured he was working his way up to something disgusting. I don’t need to hear the fucking details.”

“Well, I need to tell you.”

My heart stopped. I can’t imagine anything worse than what he had already described.

“Are you sure?” Please don’t tell me. I don’t want to hear this.

“Yes.” He hung his head. “After he fucked me, he wanted to do you, even though you were out cold, but I told him no fuckin way.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Yeah, so instead, he wanted to do something else.” He swallowed hard. “He wanted me to fuck you, while he fucked me.”

“You mean at the same time?”

“Yes.”

I was shocked and horrified.

Craig saw it in my face, so he rushed to put me at ease, “No! Don’t worry. I didn’t let him do anything.”

He took a deep breath. “But the motherfucker wouldn’t take NO for an answer. He pushed me aside and went for you. Fuck if I was gonna let him pull that kind of bullshit—you were passed out cold.”

“What—” I barely whispered, “What did you do?”

“Well, I kinda decked him. I mean, I grabbed hold of him, pulled him away from you, and punched him in the face a couple of times.” He grinned guiltily. “I gotta admit I enjoyed it, and the fucker had it coming.”

Both my eyes shot open wide, and he concluded, “Then I picked you up and carried you back here.”

“And Gary?”

“He didn’t say shit. He just lay there in bed holding his bloody fuckin nose.”

Craig looked at me, begging for forgiveness and approval for what he had done to protect me.

Forgive him? Shit, I’m the one who should be asking to be forgiven! I let things go too far, even though I was sure it was gonna turn out badly. I’m supposed to be the smart one, the one with good judgment, and I totally failed my friend, my lover.

“It’s all right, Craig.” Tears filled my eyes. “I was tempted last night, too. I guess I couldn’t handle all the fuckin liquor...and those goddamn pills, whatever the hell they were.”

“Bruce, I’m sorry. I can’t explain why I did it. Now, I wish I hadn’t, but at the time it seemed like it was gonna be fun—exciting and kind of daring. I’m sorry I talked you into going over there and trying the goddamn three-way. I’m nothing but a worthless piece of shit for getting you into all that.”

He began sobbing and shaking.

At first, I stared at him, furious at the idea that he had let Gary do this to him—to us. But the more he sobbed, his shoulders bobbing and his breathing choked, I finally realized we were both victims of Gary’s little game—although in different ways.

I reached out and pulled Craig to me. We had been upright on our knees as he confessed to me, but I guided him down, and this time, I surrounded him with love, as he had done to me earlier.

After his grief and crying subsided, I wiped Craig’s eyes and kissed him on the mouth.

“I guess we took this trip, partly, so we would see the world and learn a lot more about who and what we are,” I began. “We never expected it to be so...hell, I don’t know what to call it.”

“Fucked up.”

“Fucked up. Yeah, that’s putting it mildly.” I chuckled and hugged him close.

Trying to bring us back to whatever the fuck normal meant now, I offered, “How about a cup of coffee?”

Craig nodded, and we both got up and moved to the “kitchen” of our Rolling Toaster. I boiled water in the microwave and put instant coffee into two mugs. I added the three spoons of sugar he liked, and left mine black. I needed to think clearly, and a jolt of caffeine would help.

“OK,” I began firmly. “Here it is.” I looked him in the eyes, which were red and raw from his weeping.

“We fucked up... And I do mean we.” I put one hand on top of his.

“We were so horny, and naïve, that the idea of a three-way sounded too good to pass up. And Gary was a good-looking guy, and he was older than us, and he had a really big cock, so that’s maybe why we gave in to temptation and went over there.”

I paused to take a long swallow of my coffee. “And he took advantage of...of our inexperience, I guess you would call it. He had the hots for us from the first moment he saw us. He was nothing but a dirty old man with a big dick, and he played us like a couple of yahoos.”

Rising shakily to his feet, my lover raged, “I’m gonna go over there and kill the goddamn motherfucker!”

So fast that I couldn’t react, he was out the door, dressed only in his briefs. I hurried behind him, hoping to catch hold of him before he got very far.

But when I exited the Airstream, I found Craig standing a few feet away, staring at the empty campsite next to ours. The Fleetwood was long gone.

Craig stood there, tears rolling down his face. When I caught up to him, he turned to me. His body convulsed with sobs.

Obviously, he took this a lot harder than I did because he had to remember it, while I had been blissfully unaware of all he and Gary had done and wanted to do to me.

“Those goddamn fuckin motherfuckers!” he roared. “They did this shit to us, and then they fuckin ran away.”

I nodded and put my arm around Craig’s shoulders. “Come back inside, Baby. Let’s get back in bed.”

And that’s what we did. Back in the camper, we pulled off our briefs. Being naked together was so right, so intimate, so committed—so back where we needed to be.

I climbed onto the tiny mattress and lay on my side. Craig got in facing me, and we hugged.

Soon, my hands were rediscovering every inch of the body of the man I loved while he did the same to me.

Our lips met, and instantly our kisses became furious. Without a word, we slipped into the sixty-nine position. His cock was hard as a rock, but I was still completely soft.

“You’re not ready for this yet, Bruce.”

“Yes I am. I just need your loving touch to get over the hump.”

“Then here it is.” He drew my flaccid penis into his hot, wet mouth, and the tingle ran up and down my spine. In no time, I was also hard, so we began sucking each other, using every technique we both loved.

Craig stopped for a moment. “I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“Fuck me, Craig. I need to make this a good memory to wipe out the bad one. Please!”

He spit on his middle finger and pressed it against my hole. Right away, I realized I had been squeezing it closed tight ever since I woke up. I guess it was a defense mechanism.

With a sigh of relief, I relaxed and his finger slipped in.

“Ohh, yeah. Make love to me, Craig.”

“My pleasure.”

He added two more fingers and worked my asshole until it was supple and ready to be penetrated.

“How do you want it?”

“Like this.” I rolled over onto my belly and spread my legs apart. “I want to lie here and let you do whatever you want to me. I need to let go and give myself to you.”

“That’s what I want, too.”

He stretched his body out on top of me and began kissing the back of my neck and shoulders. He extended his arms and rested them lightly on mine. Our fingers intertwined. I closed my eyes and pictured the first afternoon we spent up in The Hide.

As soon as he was inside me, the whole horrible night with Gary flashed off like a burned-out light bulb. All I felt, all I cared about, was my lover making sweet love to me.

Craig took his time, not wanting to upset me with bad memories of the previous time we fucked, but rather to reassure me with every stroke that I belonged only to him, and he belonged to me.

As he filled my body with his essence of life, each painful recollection was replaced with a new memory that I knew I would cherish for the rest of my life.