Storyverse: Stealing the Show - 4. Chapter 4- The Ball and Chain Game

“What the glorious freaking hell, Cassie? This better not be one of your goddamn pranks. Turn on the goddamn lights!” an annoyed voice declared in the pitch-blackness surrounding them.

“Hey!” another voice yelped in the darkness as a blast of trumpet music surrounded them.

A bright spotlight panned over three startled couples as they stared at each other, each one wearing various expressions of confusion. A fourth couple looked amused when the other three caught sight of them. One half of the duo was a normal-looking cute blond twink. The other half was a heart-attack-inducing behemoth of a monster. Its skin was darker than the darkest black, covered with muscles no human could ever achieve. Glossy, ebony horns spiraled alongside the beast's skull, adding to its menacing look. Charcoal eyes stared down each of the other couples in turn until, one by one, they looked away. As the spotlight focused on them, the blond guy swatted the brute, who chuckled deeply, the sound reverberating through the studio they found themselves in.

Overhead, the seventies-inspired intro music continued playing, and a voice announced, "Welcome to the Ball and Chain Game! A fun-filled show where teams compete to see how well they know each other. Let's meet today's duos!"

The four sets of contestants were seated in what can only be described as a row of individual box seats. A short divider separated each couple. The spotlight continued to pan over each couple, the momentary blindness causing them to squint.

The music got louder before tapering down into background noise, and the spotlight stopped on the team with beauty and the beast. "Straight from the bowels of Hell and Salt Lick, Kentucky, it's Lucifer and Gabriel! After his fall from grace, Lucifer took up residence in the capital of the Underworld. He presides over those not pious or righteous enough to make it through the Pearly Gates. Next to him is Gabriel. This small-town man's claim to fame is making Lucifer tame."

Canned laughter filled the studio. The remaining three couples' mouths were agape as the spotlight moved on to the next team.

"Next, we have auror-extraordinaire, philanthropist Lex, and his phenomenal tattoo artist husband, Ian! Loving life in the Western Mass Berkshires, this team created the incredible Inkwell Foundation. Their charitable organization provides tattoos for victims of accidents or abuse, turning scars into art." Lex blushed, and Ian, whose face was also flush with pride, kissed his cheek.

Applause from an unseen audience interrupted the announcer. When it subsided, the voice continued. "Next to Lex and Ian is Lex's BFF, Cassie, and her husband, Mazen. Take-charge Cassie oversees the running of the Inkwell Foundation, and Mazen co-owns a highly successful construction company.” Cassie gave an exaggerated bow, while Mazen rolled his eyes.

The camera swung along a guide wire overhead, distracting the last couple until it stopped in front of them.

"Last but not least, we have the famous power couple, Living-the-Loelife's Loren Patrick and retired NFL defensive end Jay Petermeyer!"

This time, the applause was thunderous. It was evident everyone recognized the famous power couple. Jay sat up straighter and puffed out his chest. Loe shook his head with amusement.

"And nowww—here are your hosts; Kbois and Aaron Stone!"

The wall between the two middle couples parted, creating a gap and allowing the dynamic duo to stroll onto the stage arm-in-arm gracefully. They waved at the invisible audience with their free hands, waltzing over to a wide podium where each took a seat on a high bar chair.

"Welcome!" Kbois gushed, clapping her hands gleefully. The brightness of her smile was dimmed only by the glaring contrast of white teeth against obsidian skin as Lucifer flashed her a grin of admiration.

"Thanks for being here. We're so happy you all could join us!" Kbois continued.

"Like we had a fucking choice?" Cassie exclaimed.

Mazen's eyes widened as he whispered loudly out the side of his mouth, "Shut it, darling. I prefer to live long enough to raise our daughter to adulthood."

On the other side of Cassie, a choked sound came from Lex. His face was red as he tried to contain his laughter.

Ignoring the outburst, Kbois continued. "Aaron, why don't you explain to the folks watching at home and online how the game works?"

Aaron pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and focused on the camera's lens in front of him. "I'd love to! Thanks, K. In round one, predetermined team members are sequestered backstage while we ask their significant others a series of questions about their relationships. Then we'll bring back the others and ask them the same questions. If the answers match, points are awarded. In round two, the teams will switch. In the end, the team with the most points will take home bragging rights and a nice check for twenty-five thousand dollars!"

All of the contestants except Lucifer and Cassie clapped along with the audience. Cassie smiled as though appeased by the lure of prize money. Lucifer looked like he could care less about the payoff.

When the clapping stopped, Kbois announced, "Let's get this Ball and Chain rolling! Lex, Mazen, Loren, and Gabriel will be escorted backstage first, where you won't be able to see or hear what's happening. We'll bring you back after your teammates have their say."

Everyone else waited while the four followed a stagehand off the stage. Other crew members hustled about, adjusting microphones, straightening shirt collars, and taking care of further small details until the director called for silence on the set. Kbois and Aaron took their marks, waiting for the signal to roll.

The director outstretched his hand, fingers extended. One by one, he pulled his fingers in until he was making a fist. As he brought his arm down, green lights lit up along the walls, out of sight of the cameras, indicating to everyone on set that the recording had started.

Kbois picked up her question card and read, "If the two of you visited a pet shelter together, would your partner head to the dogs or the cats first? Ian?"

"Well, I guess, the cat section? I mean, we've got a dog already, and Lex never said he wanted two of them. So, yeah. Cat."

"Are you serious? Lex is not a cat person!" Cassie scoffed as her eyes nearly bugged out of her head at Ian's answer. "We think cats are Satan's spawn!"

A deep, rumbling laugh came from Lucifer. "Do you have any idea how right you are?"

Cassie didn't flinch at the way Lucifer's dark eyes bore through to her soul. "Of course I'm right."

Aaron cleared his throat. "Uh, moving along. How about you, Cassie? Would Mazen go for the dogs or cats?"

Cassie was still staring down Lucifer, reluctant to break the gaze first. She answered with a huff and a smirk, "Dogs if he knows what's good for him."

Aaron’s eyes widened. He shot Ian a nervous glance as he tugged at his collar and cleared his throat. "Moving along… Jay? What about Loren? Dogs or Cats?"

Jay shifted uncomfortably. His bulk wasn’t near the size of Lucifer, but it was apparent his seat wasn't built for an NFL player.

"Can I say neither? Unless he wanted to do a segment on the best way to clean fur off a couch, I can't picture Loe as a dog or cat owner. Although… all either of the girls would have to do is bat their eyelashes at him, and he'd cave. I can see Maci with a kitten and Maeve with a puppy." Jay got a dreamy look when he mentioned their twins.

"Sure, neither it is," Aaron confirmed. "And Luci, What would Gabriel do?"

Lucifer nailed Aaron with his freakishly black, pupil-less eyes. "You dare to call me Luci? It's Lucifer.” His voice dropped deeper, “Do not forget."

Aaron squeaked, and Kbois came to rescue him. "Oh, he won’t," she confirmed through gritted teeth as Aaron jolted when the side of her sandal connected with his shin.

The director had to call a brief halt while Aaron exited to change his pants.

Upon his return, the host rephrased his original question. "So, Lucifer? What do you think Gabriel will say? Cats or dogs?"

Lucifer's dark lips upturned and parted slightly, revealing sharp, pointy teeth whiter than the whitest snow. "You must realize he will say cats?"

Aaron's Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped. "Cats it is. Sure!"

To his relief, Kbois took over the next question. "If your partner is texting someone, who is it most likely to be? Ian?"

"It's got to be me!" Ian replied. His confident smile was wiped off his face by one incredulous look from Cassie.

"Do you even know who your husband is?" she asked.

Ian snorted. "Of course I do!"

His face fell as Cassie informed him, "He would call you. He's addicted to that sexy, deep-throat voice of yours. He'd text me!"

The hosts' eyes ping-ponged back and forth between each other and the two contestants.

Aaron leaned over and whispered, "They're your characters."

Kbois shot back. "Yeah, but they're not in my head anymore. I can't control them."

Just then, Cassie stood up. She motioned to Ian, hands flying in some weird sign language only they knew. "Come on, come on! Switch places. You know Mazen well enough. It's obvious I know Lex better."

The two other teams watched with amusement as Cassie booted Ian out of his seat and took his place.

So where were we?" Cassie asked as if switching was perfectly normal. "Oh yeah! Me. Lex would text me."

Aaron and Kbois stared at each other for a split second before glancing at the director. He gave them a rolling motion with his hand, signaling them to keep going.

Kbois shrugged and continued as if nothing was amiss. "Ian, who would Mazen text?"

Shaking his head, Ian ruefully replied, "Cassie."

Jay covered his mouth and did something Loren would never dream of doing– he turned his head away from the camera.

Even Lucifer was hard-pressed not to crack a smile.

Needing to take back control, Aaron asked Jay, "Who would Loren be texting?"

Jay grinned. "That's easy. Isaac. Those two are always texting."

Aaron wisely schooled his expression as he asked Lucifer for his answer.

"Nathaniel."

"Great answers, everyone," Kbois commented. "Next question. What is the one thing you do that drives your partner bat-shit crazy? Lucifer, let's start with you this time."

Lucifer pulled one massive foot up to prop it on the opposite knee. "Why is this so easy? I answer his question with a question of my own."

Kbois nodded as if agreeing that could be annoying.

"Jay?"

"Just one?" he replied, his face a myriad of perplexities, looking as though narrowing it down was a fate worse than death.

Kbois smiled. “We will accept that as your answer.”

Ian said that Mazen would be driven crazy by Cassie’s tendency to overindulge in Fireball and Rum Chata occasionally. Cassie looked pleased with his answer. Smugly, she informed the hosts that Lex would say Ian is most annoyed when he interrupts whatever they’re doing to answer one of her texts.

The next question asked, ‘Who is most likely to cry during a Pixar movie? Cassie immediately answered Lex. Ian countered with Cassie. Jay incriminated himself. Lucifer threw Gabriel under the bus.

Their round's fifth and final question asked, ‘What would your partner say is the first thing you do in the morning after you wake up?’ The crew behind the scenes cracked up when everyone answered, fart.

There was a short intermission while the director instructed changes for the next part of the game. The crew gave each contestant their answer placards, face down. Kbois and Aaron had to announce the return of the sequestered contestants four times before getting it right. They were still giggling over the fart answer.

Lex didn’t bat an eye when he saw Cassie sitting in Ian’s place. Mazen looked perplexed for only a brief second, shrugging as he sat down next to Ian before leaning over to kiss his cheek. Ian, Lex, and Cassie cracked up.

“Okay folks, let’s get down to business,” Kbois instructed as she moved the game along. “Lex, Mazen, Loren, and Gabriel, we’ll ask you the same questions we asked your partners, and you’ll give us the answer you think they said. Ready?”

All the teams nodded.

"We asked; If the two of you visited a pet shelter together, would your partner head to the dogs or the cats first? Lex, just to clarify, for this question, Ian did actually answer it.”

Lex leaned forward to peer around Cassie as he answered, “Cats are Satan’s spawn, so I’d go for a second dog.”

Ian face-palmed as he flipped his answer card over, and it read cats. “I figured we already had a dog, so you’d go for the cat.”

Lex snickered. “Well, now I know why Cassie is sitting here instead of you.” He blew his husband a kiss.

“Moving along then,” Aaron said. “Mazen?”

Mazen winked at his wife and dutifully answered, “Dogs.” Cassie smiled victoriously as Mazen was awarded twenty-five points.

“Loren?” Aaron prompted.

Loren’s nose wrinkled. “Um, I don’t want either one. Dogs shed too much and clean a litter box? Ew. No.”

Jay jumped up, pumping his fist in the air. His answer cards went flying on the floor, luckily landing face down. A stagehand scrambled to retrieve them, making sure they were still in order, before handing the correct one to Jay, who turned it triumphantly to Loren. The influencer shook his head at his husband’s exuberance as the scoreboard awarded them their points.

Lucifer flashed a toothy grin as he flipped over his card, matching Gabriel’s answer to cats.

“I better have gotten it right,” Gabriel remarked. “You do all realize Lucifer is the one who created cats?”

Forgetting to cover her microphone, Kbois snickered. Lucifer winked conspiratorially in her direction, which caused her to laugh outright.

“Well, first question down, and it’s still anyone’s game,” Aaron announced. “Question two. We asked; If your partner is texting someone, who is it most likely to be? Lex, you’re up.”

“Cassie.”

Cassie turned in her seat to face Ian. The look on her face screamed I told you! Flipping her answer card over, she smiled smugly. Their scoreboard lit up with the number twenty-five.

“Mazen, who did Ian say you would be texting?”

Mazen cleared his throat, a pink blush creeping up his neck. “Cassie,” he answered. Canned applause accompanied the addition of points to their score, bringing the total to fifty.

Aaron moved on to Loren, who replied, “Oh, Isaac, for sure.”

This time, Jay remained seated but pumped the air above his head with glee as their score changed.

Gabriel matched Lucifer’s answer. The round ended with the same point spread as before.

Kbois took over with the third question. “What is the one thing you do that drives your partner bat-shit crazy? Gabriel, you’ll go first this time.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Easy. He can’t give a straight answer. He always answers my question with another question. Self-righteous sonofa–, oof!”

A large, dark hand covering his mouth cut off the rest of Gabriel’s sentence. “Do you really want to finish that sentence, mon amour?” Lucifer’s other hand flipped over his answer, and Gabriel smirked as he read it.

See? He mouthed to the co-hosts the second his mouth was uncovered. Their score changed to seventy-five.

Jay and Loren tried not to laugh when Kbois asked Loren for his answer.

“I don’t think I could narrow it down to one.”

Jay whooped and started to jump up again. With more grace than someone of his size should have, he planted his ass firmly as he remembered to stay in his seat. Loren punched his shoulder, only half playfully.

When it was Mazen’s turn, he missed by saying Cassie’s habit of not letting anyone get a word in edgewise annoyed him most. She didn’t look pleased.

Lex nailed his answer, matching what Cassie thought would annoy Ian. “I know Ian hates it when I answer Cassie’s texts, but honestly, it’s the lesser of two evils. She’d be twice as persistent if I didn’t answer her.”

All the teams matched their partner's answers when asked who was more likely to cry during a Pixar movie.

The final question of the round was another clean sweep of correct answers. It turns out everyone was likely to let one rip first thing in the morning, and everyone found it funny. What was it about bathroom humor that turned adults into twelve-year-olds?

The teams were separated again. This time, Cassie, Ian, Jay, and Lucifer were escorted off stage to wait in the soundproof room while their teammates answered questions.

Kbois clarified the gameplay before they started. “Lex, will you answer questions with Cassie in mind or Ian?”

Chuckling, Lex replied, “Cassie. It doesn’t matter. If either of our teams wins, we’ve already decided to donate the prize to the Inkwell Foundation.”

“That’s a worthy cause.” Kbois glanced at the question card before continuing. “Let’s get started. What will your partner say is the one material thing they own that means the most to them? Gabriel, what would Lucifer say?”

“His pitchfork,” Gabriel giggled.

“Wait! That’s a thing?” Loren asked, eyes wide.

Gabriel laughed. “No, but Lucifer doesn’t own material things. He rules the Underworld, but he doesn’t own it. Humans automatically picture Satan wielding a pitchfork. Lucifer doesn’t see any point in correcting them. He finds it amusing.”

“He would,” Aaron mumbled.

Kbois ignored him. “Loren, how about Jay? What is the one thing he owns that means the most to him?”

“He probably won’t admit it. He’s too humble, but his Super Bowl rings. They mean a lot to him.”

“Mazen? What about Ian? What’s his most prized possession?”

“Oh, for sure his tattoo shop. He spent years building it into a successful business. Everyone who knows him knows how proud he is of it.”

Lex nodded his agreement.

“Building a business is a worthy accomplishment.” Kbois looked over at Lex. “What about Cassie? What’s her most treasured possession?”

Lex’s brow drew together momentarily before relaxing. “Her letter from my mom. We both cherish those last words of wisdom from her.”

Aaron took over the following question and asked, “How is your name saved on your partner’s phone? Gabriel?”

“It’s not. Lucifer doesn’t have a phone. It’s not like Hell has cell phone towers.”

As the crew tried to contain themselves, the unseen audience laughed aloud.

“What about you, Loren? How does Jay save your name on his phone?” Aaron asked.

“Formal as all fuck. Loren Petermeyer-Patrick. Still, to this day. You would think I might’ve graduated to something fun, like Boo.”

Aaron smiled, then turned to Mazen. “How does your name appear on Ian’s phone? Please don’t say Boo.” More laughs broke out.

“I’m not going there, Aaron. I’m pretty certain Ian has me down as plain old Mazen.”

“There’s nothing plain about you,” Aaron said, winking. Mazen blushed.

Kbois cleared her throat. “Are you finished flirting with a married man? Can we move on?”

It was Aaron’s turn to blush. “Uh, yeah. So Lex, how is your name saved on Cassie’s phone?”

“Nemo,” Lex answered confidently.

Off stage, crew members were busy writing the contestant’s answers on cue cards for later. The director and producer were busy making sure everything flowed smoothly. Any mistakes would be taken care of post-production, but they would still need enough material to ensure an entire show.

“Next question,” Aaron stated. “Which one of you has the worst in-laws?”

All four contestants blanched. They knew it was a loaded question.

“Lex, we’ll start with you this time.”

“Oh, man! I love my in-laws! Cassie loves hers too. I’m sorry, Kathy,” Lex looked directly into the camera, pleading. “But to keep the peace, I’ll say me.”

Mazen shot him a look of gratitude. When Aaron asked him the same question, he threw himself on the sword. “I’m going to Hell for this, but I’m saying it anyway. Ian has the worst in-laws. Yes, my wife considers herself part of that group, which is exactly why I’m going with Ian.”

Lex chuckled sympathetically. “You’re a brave man, Mazen.”

“Braver than any of us,” Aaron agreed. “Loren, what’s your answer? Who will Jay say has the worst in-laws?”

“Well, it was a pretty rocky road for a while between me and Jay’s parents, but things are much better now. But, if you factor in my egg and sperm donors, it’s a no-brainer. Me.”

“Gabriel, what about you?”

“I know what I would say, but Lucifer will go with me. He and his father don’t exactly see eye to eye, and most of his brothers aren’t on speaking terms with him either.”

There was a moment of awkward silence as everyone realized to whom Gabriel was referring.

Breaking the silence, Kbois continued as if nothing was amiss. “Last question. Which one of you is more likely to get arrested?”

Gabriel answered Lucifer. Loren replied himself, adding that Jay was too goody-two-shoes. Mazen didn’t hesitate when he answered himself, specifying that it would most likely be because he was an accomplice to his wife. Of course, Lex said Cassie, countering with the fact that Mazen would be driving the getaway car.

The spoofy seventies take on the Wedding March music played as the sequestered contestants returned to their partners.

When everyone was in place, Kbois said, “Welcome back. While you were backstage, we asked your partners four questions. In this round, correct matches will be worth fifty dollars apiece.

Everyone nodded.

“What did your partner say is the one material thing you own that means the most to you? Lucifer?” Aaron prompted.

“Gabriel.”

“Excuse you?” Gabriel shot Lucifer an incredulous, semi-scathing glare.

Sexual tension filled the studio as Lucifer’s smile turned predatory, pinning it on his partner. His voice dropped several octaves. “You do realize I own you?”

Anger dissipated as Gabriel’s jaw dropped, then closed. His tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip before his teeth caught it.

Kbois and Aaron fanned themselves. Did someone turn up the temperature in the studio?

“Wow!” Cassie uttered, breaking the spell. “That is seriously fucking hot!”

Aaron pulled at the collar of his shirt and tried to adjust his pants surreptitiously. “Yes, it is.”

Lucifer chuckled, then broke into laughter as Gabriel turned over his answer card showing pitchfork. He pulled Gabriel close and kissed the side of his head. “Ah, mon cherie, je’t’adore.”

“What did he say?” Aaron whispered to Kbois.

“He said, ‘I adore you, my dear’.”

“Awww,” Aaron fawned.

“Can we get back to the game?” the director asked over the loudspeaker.

Everyone settled down again, and Gabriel looked pleased despite not getting any points. Who could blame him?

“Ok, Jay, what did Loren say is your most prized possession?” Aaron asked.

“I don’t know. Unlike Mr. Tall, Dark, and Scary over there, I don’t see Loren or our girls as possessions, even though they’re the most important things in my life. I guess I’d have to go with my Super Bowl rings?”

Loren revealed his answer triumphantly. Jay kissed him soundly.

Ian scored, too, when he said his tattoo shop.

Cassie teared up when she mentioned the letter Lex’s mom had left for her, delivered right before Lex and Ian’s wedding.

Everyone got the third question right when Aaron asked, “How is your partner’s name saved on your phone?”

There was another burst of laughter after Loren mentioned how formal Jay was, not even calling him something endearing, like Boo on his phone. Jay immediately jammed his big hand into his pocket, wiggling around as he finagled his phone out of his pants and changed Loren’s contact name to Boo.

When Aaron read the last question regarding who had the worst in-laws, the contestants who had been sequestered, except Lucifer, paled, realizing there was no correct answer. They were screwed no matter what. Lucifer wasn’t capable of varying the shade of ebony covering his body.

However, he correctly matched Gabriel’s answer regarding the worst in-laws. Everyone got the distinct impression Lucifer didn’t think highly of his family.

Loren, Ian, and Cassie were correct in their guesses as well. None of them wanted to ‘fess up to not liking their in-laws.

When Aaron asked the contestants the final question, ‘Who is more likely to get arrested?’ Lucifer proudly admitted it would be himself. Jay laughed as he confessed he wouldn’t think of breaking the law and gloated when Loren revealed a correct match.

Ian smirked at Mazen. “Bro, you’d get caught trying to cover for that troublemaker you call your wife. Definitely you!”

Cassie flipped him the bird, then had to admit it was more likely that she, rather than Lex, would be more likely to be arrested. Ian mockingly blew her a kiss.

Kbois and Aaron rolled their eyes while waiting for both rounds' official tally. The uptempo music played as they waited. As it faded, Kbois walked to the center of the stage to face the four teams. Nervously, she looked at Lucifer before making her announcement.

“We have our official results from both rounds, and one team edged out the rest by twenty-five points. Jay and Loren, congratulations! You’ve won the Ball and Chain Game!”

Confetti rained down as peppy outro music blasted their ears. Jay jumped over the low wall in front of his and Loren’s seats and overeagerly spiked an imaginary football. He bounded back over the wall and pulled Loren up.

Loe found himself wrapping his legs around Jay’s waist, hanging on for dear life as his husband’s defensive end instincts kicked in, and he ran around the studio, for all intents and purposes, hell-bent on doing a victory lap. Everyone scrambled to get out of his way.

Lucifer stared at Kbois for a heart-stopping moment before giving her a single nod. A look of relief washed over her face.

When Jay finished making a complete circuit of the studio, he stopped in front of Kbois and Aaron, who were waiting to wrap the show.

“You’re obviously excited about your win,” Kbois commented dryly. “Any plans for the prize money?”

Loren whispered to Jay. A huge smile broke out on the man’s face.

“We’ve decided to donate all of it to the Inkwell Foundation,” Jay said proudly.

“Yes, and as soon as I post our victory, for every thousand likes on Instagram, I’ll personally donate one hundred dollars, up to fifty thousand dollars,” Loren added.

“You heard it here, so get out there and like Loren’s content. It’s for a good cause!” Aaron beamed.

“Thanks for joining us! We’ll see you next time on, the Ball and Chain Game!” cried Kbois as the peppy brass music started back up. The four teams joined the hosts center stage, waving at the cameras and dancing to the music.

As soon as the director called Cut!, the music stopped, and the stagehands started to sweep up the confetti and clean up the rest of the set.

Lex and Cassie joined Jay and Loren.

“Thank you, guys, for your generous donation. You didn’t have to do that,” Lex said, reaching out to shake Jay’s hand and then Loren’s.

Cassie kissed each man on the cheek and added, “Yeah, you guys are good sports. I’m happy we got to play the game with you. Anytime you’re in our neck of the woods, feel free to give one of us a call. We’d love to hang out!”

“Are we included in that invitation?” Lucifer purred. He pulled Gabriel close, his hand sliding into the man’s back pocket possessively.

Cassie shot him her best devious smile. “Of course, Big Guy. But only if you bring the Fireball.” She winked playfully.

Aaron and Kbois stood to the side, watching the teams interact.

“This was a good show today, wasn’t it?” remarked Aaron.

“Yes. It was. Let’s hope it’s good enough for the puppet master pulling our strings.”

Aaron looked at her and nodded. They could only hope.