Dak Ross - My Journal - 1. Dak Ross - My Journal

Printed on the inside of the front cover:

This is the private journal of Dak Ross. Unless i handed it to you to read, paws off!

Monday, April 15: If you’re reading this Uncle Spence or Aunt Claire, please stop.

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Monday, March 11, 2024

i had my 1st psychiatrist visit today. My uncle Spence, who is more of a father to me than my real father, aka sperm donor, ever was, suggested i talk to someone about my guilt. Spermie left when i was about three, according to Uncle Spence. i talked to the doctor, but it didn’t help. Maybe it takes a few sessions. Maybe a hundred. i don't know. Everybody says i shouldn’t feel guilty. But when ur mother has a heart attack minutes after u tell her ur gay, how could you not think it’s ur fault? That was the 29th of February. Apparently, it was a mild heart attack. i don’t know about you, but i think that makes about as much sense as being mildly dead.

i stayed in my boyfriend Jamie Paxler's guest bedroom for the week mom was in the hospital. His mom threatened us with bodily harm if we did anything sexual. After she passed out every night, we traded blow jobs right outside her bedroom. Stupid drunk. We actually did a 69 on the floor of her bedroom one night. She had no idea.

The shrink also said i should write down my feelings about being gay and what led me to come out. If i do that all in one shot, this’ll be one long ass journal entry. It'd probably make my hand fall off. So i’ll do it in pieces over the next couple nights.

How do i feel about being gay? By Dakota (Dak) Ross. May as well have a little fun while i’m doing this, huh? Well, i guess i feel horny. But i don’t think that’s what Dr. Headshrinker meant. At first i was confused. Why did i have 2 be different? i blamed my mom at first, because it became obvious when i continued to think girls were gross long after my classmates stopped doing so. i mean, she did name me after a girl, Dakota Fanning. So was i destined to like boys because of that? A little Internet research once i got my first PC cleared that misconception up. What a fucking dinosaur that thing was. It was out of date when mom bought it at some lame thrift store. i still have it, so it still is. Get back on track, Dak.

i had to tell mom before she found out some other way. i mean, wearing a goofy smile when Jamie was around had to be one clue. Shit, 90% of my waking hours, i do that now. My non-boyfriend best friend Mike Lawrence figured it out. i should say ex-best friend. He said he wouldn’t say anything to anybody. Mike’s a nice kid and all, but he doesn’t have much of a brain to mouth filter. Apparently, not much of a brain either for that matter. i know he slipped and mentioned it to at least one of our other friends. A few of them won’t even look at me now. Well, not without some level of disgust. How long would it have been before the dumb shit let it slip to mom? That would have caused a major coronary, i’m sure.

Okay, that’s enough for tonight. i haven’t even ever written this much in English class.

Tuesday, March 12

School sucked today. When doesn’t it, though? i got a good idea exactly who Mike blabbed to. Not directly, of course. i heard it through the grapevine. Sorry Marvin. A girl i barely know, Leesah Hartus - (and that’s a dumb way to spell Lisa, by the way), asked me if i was really gay. i was going to turn and walk away, but i decided to probe. i don’t even remember the total body count in the chain of he told her, and she told another girl, and blah, blah, blah. It never even got to Mike. And half the names, i didn’t actually know the person. But at the very beginning of Leesah’s chain was another of my close friends. i’m pretty sure that’s who Mike told. i guess that makes two ex-friends.

Poor Jamie. He was outed by association. He doesn’t care though. He never did anything to hide it, just never told anyone but me. And his mom, but she’s drunk every time i see her, so i'm sure it doesn’t stick in her alcohol addled brain on the rare occasion she’s not plastered. i think that was a Tuesday.

Okay, back to how i feel, before boredom takes hold. So, i knew it was only a matter of time before the news would hit mom out of the blue. i stopped at DQ on my way home from school that day and bought a triple strawberry sundae. Mom loves strawberries in any form. i figured strawberry ice cream, chopped fresh strawberries, and strawberry syrup would lessen the blow. Maybe it did, it didn’t kill her right then and there. After dinner, i helped mom clean up, which surprised her. Then i asked her to sit back down, took the sundae out of the freezer, and grabbed a spoon for her.

The conversation went something like this, “Uh oh, what kind of trouble are you in?”

“Not trouble really. Just need to tell you something and thought the sundae would make you happy.”

“Soften the blow for whatever it is? Failing a class? Broke somebody’s window? Got a girl pregnant?”

i saw my opportunity, “That last will never happen, Mom. i’m gay.”

She just looked at me, dumbfounded. i could almost hear her thoughts. ‘What did i do wrong?’ ‘Is this my fault?’ ‘i’ll never have grandchildren.’ i waited a few minutes for any kind of verbal reaction. Okay, maybe 20 seconds. Nothing.

“Are you okay?” i queried.

“i think i need to sit down.”

i was about to say ‘you are sitting down,’ when the pain hit her. She grimaced, grabbed her chest and in a barely audible voice said,

“Call the ambulance.”

So, i did. Duh. Of course, i did.

Wednesday, March 13

Not saying much tonight. Just that one old friend, Jason Bligh, is a major fucking asshole and i hope he dies a painful death. Fucking asshole loudly asked me if i would blow him some day. RIGHT IN THE FUCKING MIDDLE OF LUNCH! Pretty sure he was the #2 so-called friend that spread the news.

i have a week’s detention for punching him in the mouth. It felt good, though. He's bigger than me, most kids are, so i was kind of proud of myself for putting him on the floor.

Thursday, March 14

i didn’t want another week of detention, or a busted face, so when one musclebound football jerk tried to make Jamie and me kiss in the middle of the cafeteria, we gave in and did it. Swear to God i’m skipping lunch from now on.

Jamie’s getting some heat from the other kids as well. Why can’t people just mind their own fucking bizness?

Friday, March 15

fuck. Fuck. FUUUUCK!!!! i can’t write tonight. Too upset.

Sunday, March 17

i’m still upset, but i can’t let this go any longer. If i ever find out who the shithead is that threw the brick through our living room window, i swear to God he’s going to feel so much pain he’ll wish he was dead. Maybe i’ll just kill him myself.

The brick had a note attached to it. ‘Homos not wanted; drop dead faggit.’ The dickhead couldn’t even spell a slur right. Well, mom was sitting right next to where it came through the window. You know the expression ‘scared to death?’ It can really fucking happen if you’ve got a weak heart. The funeral is tomorrow. i don’t think i’ll be writing this shit anymore.

Tuesday, March 19

i skipped yesterday. If you're not a moron, you can guess why. But, Uncle Spence convinced me after the funeral that i should keep writing. So, i’m back. i really don’t know what to say. i’m angry, sad, and tired all the time now. i had to cancel my shrink appointment yesterday. It was either go to that or go to my mother’s funeral. How’s that for a fucking choice? i’ll be living with Uncle Spence and Aunt Claire now. Thankfully, they live in the same town, so i don't have to switch schools. Although, if it weren't for Jamie being there, switching schools probably wouldn't be that bad. i brought some of my stuff over to their house today. Uncle Spence is renting a truck on Saturday. We’ll be putting a lot of shit from my old house in storage. He says i might want it when i start a family. Unk is really smart, but he now knows i’m gay. Why does he think i’ll be fucking a girl anytime soon, or ever, to start a family?

Wednesday, March 20

Went back to Dr. Greiner today. He’s a nice guy, so i decided to stop calling him other shit. He explained what Unk meant about starting a family. Who knew gays could marry and even adopt kids? Maybe i should start watching the news or something.

Thursday, March 21

Went back to school today. i thought it’d be worse than it was. People who never said a word to me b4 came up to me saying they were sorry to hear about my mother. No assholes made any derogertory (did i spell that right? Eh, who the fuck cares?), nasty comments. Not more than any other slow day. i guess that made it a comparatively good day.

i guess i can write stuff about sex in this thing. Nobody else is gonna read it, right? Oh wait, already did about the week i spent at Jamie’s. Anyway, i’m thinking of taking that big step with Jamie. We’re not kids anymore, why shouldn’t we do it? Seems everybody else is fucking somebody, to hear them talk. Why not us? Just need to figure out where and when. You’ll be the third to know, Mr. Journal.

Saturday, March 23

Oops. i skipped yesterday. Fuck it. This is supposed to be for me, so if i don’t feel like doing it some days, what’s the big deal? Right? i skipped yesterday because at detention, yeah, fucking school gave me a break to miss it since mom died. Think they’d forgive the last 2 days? Yeah, right. Anyway, the school’s biggest douchebag, Mer, maybe i shouldn’t put his name in here. U never know if somebody’ll get ahold of it, read it, then bash my face in because i called him a name. Where was i? Oh, yeah, detention. Well, this asshole waited until the Vice Principal, who was monitoring the two of us apparent juvenile delinquents, went to go take a shit, maybe change her tampon, who knows. She left, you know what, fuck him, asshole, douchebag and fucking moron Mervin Merton, (or is idiot stupider?) has a little knife he carries, he fucking slices my belt, opens my pants, makes a cut from my zipper down to the crotch, rips the fucking zipper right out, knocks me down, and takes my pants. I wasn't about to struggle. He says queers shouldn’t wear pants. Then he didn’t like my boxer briefs, so he cuts them off me too. Shouldn't have worn the pale yellow ones, i guess. Shirt? Shoes? Lost them too. He tosses it all on the floor and pisses on the pile. i’m bare-assed naked when the veep comes back. Okay, i still had socks on. Who gets in trouble for it? Mervin you say? Guess again. The bitch says i’m lucky to only get suspended for a week and not be arrested for indecent exposure. i felt like raping her right then and there. i mean, i was already naked. Then i realized i’d have to stick my dick is some nasty old cunt. What was i thinking? Anyway, i get a week’s vacation from school for getting stripped. Thank God it was Uncle Spence who came to pick me up. Some jerk brought me a washcloth from the gym so i didn’t have to go outside swinging my willy. He thought it was funny. Life just keeps getting better.

Sunday, March 24

Unk knows i didn’t do anything to get suspended, ‘cept being a victim, so Jamie was allowed over for a visit today. Did i mention Unk is a high power attorney? Yeah, so i live in this huge house, even has an indoor, heated pool. Me and Jamie went skinny dipping. It fucking freaked out the maid something awful when she walked in to return the cleaned towels. We were only kissing, but i guess she didn’t like seeing our boners. Hmm, maybe she’s a lesbo. Scratch that, lesbian. i don’t like being called names, so i shouldn’t do it either. Unk said not to do that again when she’s here. She’s like a fucking stealth bomber, i never know where she is until, BAM! She’s in my face. Anyway, i guess today wuz a good day. Dr. Greiner tomorrow. i’m always fucking sad when i go there.

Monday, March 25

i told Dr. Greiner what happened Friday. He said i should have ratted out Merv. Well, he didn’t say ratted out, but that was the gist. i didn’t bother reminding him of one thing. KNIFE!! Otherwise the day was boring. School thinks my Aunt is a homemaker. Well, that’s what i put on the form after they took me in. Nobody checks that stuff. She works too, as a nurse, so i get to spend my suspension home alone and BORED! i guess a suspension's not supposed to be fun. There’s only so much time you can stand playing video games by yourself. Damn, four more days of this?

Maybe i should have taken the in-school suspension. My school makes you help out in the special ed classroom. i can’t stand it when people call those kids names. Maybe because i don’t like getting called names either. i’ll never use ret—-, or ta—, dum— or anything like that. It’s not like those kids were given a choice. Kinda like me and being gay. i didn’t choose it. But after experiencing some of the good stuff, i wouldn’t switch back to straight if you paid me. Okay, maybe for a billion dollars. When i have to check in at the office next Monday, i’ll tell them my Aunt got a job. Not that i want to get suspended again, but ya never know. i do have a low tolerance for assholes. Suspension in an empty house is f-u-c-k-i-n-g b-o-r-i-n-g!!!

Tuesday, March 26

Video games, sleeping, and jerking off. i guess i got a lot accomplished today. Uh huh.

Wednesday, March 27

Ditto.

Saturday, March 30

i didn't bother writing in this thing Thursday and yesterday. Why bother? They were the same as Tuesday and Wednesday. Unk felt since i was suspended, Jamie shouldn't come over, hence all the jerking off. Anyway, he was here today. Since Vonda, the maid, i don't think i mentioned her name before. Since she was off today, we skinny dipped again. Wonder why she was here last Sunday? Oh, well, back to life. We paid attention to who was around this time. We didn't go "all the way," but Jamie put his dick into my ass in the pool, then i did it to him. i asked Unk and Aunt-C if he could sleep over next Friday night. They said okay. We're gonna do it to each other. i can't wait. It's gonna be hard not jerking off all week, but i want to save it for next Friday. Oh, i didn't mean it was gonna be 'hard,' i'm sure 'it' will be hard all week, hehe. i meant hard as in difficult.

Sunday, March 31

i tried not to, but i just had to jerk off tonight. i can't stop thinking about Friday. i guess 5 days is still good enough to save up my cum. Maybe?

Monday, April 1

Fucking great day to go back to school. i think i heard the same asinine April fool's joke a dozen times. 'Hey Dak, i heard you turned straight. April fool.' i told the office my aunt has a job. Whether or not it matters, i guess i'll soon find out. Since i might spend future detentions helping out in special ed, they made me take my study hall in their classroom. i think i'll hang out with those kids some more. They're a hell of a lot nicer than the rest of the shitheads in my school. Mrs. Skiel, the special ed teacher, was going to clear it so i can spend my study hall in there every day. i'll get 42 minutes of peace every day from now on. Wish i thought of this before.

Tuesday, April 2

Told you i'd find out soon. Fucking assholes in that place. School, that is. i'll be spending the next 8 days in the special ed class, all day. Until next Friday. Pete Black, one of Merv's cronies, made a comment as i was coming out of their classroom. i can't repeat it, i said i'd never use that 'R' word, but Pete called a whole bunch of the special ed kids that name, lumping me in with them. i didn't care him saying it about me, i sure as shit have been called worse, but one girl started crying, so i belted Pete. Twice. Stomach, then nose. Fuck. i never knew how much blood can flow out of someone's nose. Oh, yeah. i had to mop it up after they took Pete to the nurse. i was afraid Unk would keep Jamie from sleeping over on Friday, but he actually said he was proud of me for standing up for, hell, i'll say it, my new friends. i wonder if i can arrange to spend the rest of the school year there?

Wednesday, April 3

i gotta admit, spending the whole day in specs (not gonna write special ed anymore. Saving myself a few letters every day.) Spending the whole day with those kids was awesome. First of all, they loved me for punching out Pete. Apparently, he'd been calling them names, like forever. Mrs. Skiel had to tell them it wasn't okay that i did that. i understood that. i knew it was wrong to hit him, but i figured it was wronger for him to call them names. Besides, some of those kids are a lot bigger than average. If they started hitting bullies... Hmmm, maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing after all.

Thursday, April 4

i had to go to the nurse's office after lunch. Fucking Merv caught me in the lunch line and stuck his knife in my side. Thank God his knife is small and the doctor at the hospital said he didn't hit any major blood vessels or any organs at all. It hurt like a mother fucker, though. But the good thing is that Merv was taken away in handcuffs. That's what i was told anyway. After i was released from the ER, Aunt Claire took me to the police station to sign a complaint against the jerk. i made sure to indicate he did it because i was gay. Fucker got charged with a hate crime too. i won't need to worry about him anymore. At least not until he turns 18. Shit. i think that's only a few months. i'm hoping he gets real jail after his time in juvie. Fucker ruined my plans for Friday night, too. There's no way i can have sex with Jamie. Fuck, just sitting down and getting up is painful. Painful, that's funny. It’s fucking agony just to move.

Friday, April 5

The school was going to cancel my suspension. i begged them not to. i'd much rather spend the day in specs than regular classes. Nobody picks on me. i started brown-bagging it today, too. No way i'm ever going into that cafeteria again. It sucks not being in the couple classes i have with Jamie, and not eating lunch with him, but Merv has too many friends. Or maybe fans would be a better word. i ain't risking getting hurt worse. Jamie is still sleeping over, but sex was out. We gently jerked each other off before getting ready for bed. Trying anything else hurt too much. i'm also going to let him read my journal. i'll tell you tomorrow how that goes.

Saturday, April 6

Jamie loved reading it. He said it was completely me. i thanked him with a kiss. Okay, maybe a dozen kisses. Or was it one really long one? Whatever, we kissed for a long time before we finally fell asleep last night. He stayed until after lunch today, but had to get home so he could make something for dinner for him and his mom. If she tried to cook, she'd probably burn the house down. His dad is persona non grata around there. From what Jamie tells me, his dad made his mom look like a sober sally. i guess that meant he was an even bigger lush. Unk had good news for me, i guess. My old house was put on the market on Monday. We got an offer today. Unk said it wasn't great, but enough profit to get me through a couple years of college. He was thinking about taking it. We have 3 business days to decide, so he said we'll wait to see if another offer comes through. That and we don't have to worry about maintaining it much longer. Good thing. Unk's lawn needed to be mowed. Guess who got to start doing that today? It was pretty fun though. He's got one of those zero-turn mowers that you stand on. i got the front done. The back will be tomorrow's job. i guess i don't mind doing some chores. i could be living in a foster home, maybe even in another town. i couldn't stand being away from Jamie. Chores are worth being around here still.

Monday, April 8

Another day in specs. i'm actually enjoying helping them with their schoolwork. Maybe i'll become a specs teacher when i get out of college. No. Really. We got another offer on the house today. This one will cover three years of my college. Maybe all four because i decided to go to the community college first. That'll cut down on the expense. Unk says not to worry, they'll pick up the difference, but they're already doing so much for me, like feeding and housing my ass. Feeding my mouth. i just imagined my asshole with teeth so it could be fed too. Although, what i would do with those teeth when Jamie was doing me, i'd never know.

Friday, April 12

The rest of the week was quiet. Jamie came over every day after school. My side feels pretty good, so we arranged another sleepover tomorrow night. After Unk met Mrs. Paxler, he decided it wouldn't be a good idea for me to sleep over there. Hell, it's not even a good idea for Jamie to sleep there, but he's stuck with it. My suspension is over. Weird, i'm gonna miss being in specs. But i made a few more friends. Friends that don't care about my being gay. One of the kids said he'd even be willing to try stuff with me if i want. i don't want. Nothing against him, but i got Jamie.

Saturday, April 13

Fuck, the lawn grows fast when it rains. Had to cut it again today. i got an earlier start, and was done front and back before Jamie showed up with his backpack. He said he stopped to get us some supplies before the sleepover last week. i had to believe they're in there. i guessed rubbers and some slippery stuff. i got that right, but he also picked up this dildo that looks like a real dick. It's a little bigger than Jamie's dick, and he's a little bigger than me. He said if we can take the dildo, we can fit each other. Makes sense. i'm glad he's already 18, i couldn't have gotten away with buying that shit. i'm almost 18, but i look closer to 14 or 15. Goodnight journal. i gotta go get laid now. No peeking. i'm putting you under the mattr... no that's not a good idea. In a desk drawer. Yeah, that's better.

Sunday, April 14

Oh man, it was amazing. i'm not going to share any of the sordid details, is that the right word? i think so. But it was awesome, even the dildo. Oops. I guess that's a detail. Jamie was a little afraid, so i volunteered to get fu... no, i don't want to say it that way... Um, be the bottom first. But once he saw how much i enjoyed it, he wasn't afraid anymore. We did it again this morning. i'm not sure but i think my cousin was listening at the door this morning. i haven't mentioned him before; sorry. He's 15, only a little younger than us, but if he was a senior, he'd have been in the specs class i was in. He's cool though; only a little slow. i love him like a brother. The bedroom i got is at the far end of the third-floor hallway. It's past Unk's home office, home law library, and a huge bathroom. He has law stuff here too in case he can't stay in the firm's office all day for any reason. He really had no reason to be up here. i got a chance to talk to Louie after Jamie went home. He said he wasn't listening outside my door. i pretended to believe him. i didn't want him to think i would tell on him. He's a terrible liar. He giggles when he lies. Fortunately, he doesn't realize i know that secret.

Monday, April 15

Louie blew his cover today anyway. He asked if Jamie and i were playing with each other's dicks when he was outside my door. He immediately realized what he said. He begged me not to tell on him. i think i got him to believe i wouldn't, but i'm not completely sure he did. He didn't look at me at all during dinner. After dinner he was his usual, happy self again. Either he forgot he slipped up, or he finally believed i wouldn't tell his mom or dad. i had to put a note on page one, warning Unk and Aunt-C away from reading this. i don't think it would make much difference if they wanted to read it badly enough.

School went back to being sucky. Except for my 42 minutes of study hall in specs, that is. The 'normal' kids just wouldn't give up. They called me names, some of them i didn't even realize were slang for gay. i never heard butt pirate before, and bean queen was another new one on me. When they weren't dissing me, they were slapping sticky notes to my back or butt. One that was put on my ass said 'free rides, $1.' Obviously placed there by a genius. There was more, though. One guy, who i didn't even know, shoved something down the back of my pants. When i was somewhere i could dig it out, i saw it was a little vibrator. I tried sticking in in earlier tonight. It was pretty cool. Have to add it to my jerk off routine. Another one had a water pistol. He squirted it at my crotch. i made the mistake of touching it. i was late for my next class because i had to wash the piss off my fingers. i had to walk around looking and smelling like i pissed myself the rest of the day. Oh, yeah. Since i'm not under suspension anymore, i was supposed to eat in the cafeteria. Fuck that. i brown-bagged it again and ate outside. Jamie followed after he bought his lunch. He didn't fare much better than me. Although, he got threats too. Some kids are total fuckups.

Friday April 19

The rest of the week was more of the same. It slowed down a little by the end of the week, but there were still a few annoying words and sticky notes. Jamie's getting really scared. Every day, one kid tells him he'll kill him if he doesn't suck his dick. He won't tell me who it is, no matter how much i beg. He's starting to lean toward just doing it to get it over with. i told him that wouldn't make it stop. It would probably just make more kids ask. Of course, i hope he doesn’t give in.

Saturday, April 20

i don't want to write this, but i guess i have to. Jamie and me have something else in common now. Thank God he slept over again last night. He went home for a change of clothes this morning, we were going to go to the park to kill, scratch that, waste some time. It takes him about 10 minutes to walk from my, um, Unk's house to his. He wasn't back in a half hour, so i called him. He answered the phone crying. It took a while for him to calm down. This is pretty much how the conversation went after he calmed down some, i'll never remember it word-for-word, but i'd say it's close enough:

"You feel a little better now, Jamie?"

"No. But at least i'm not crying anymore."

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"Like you know, i was coming home to change my clothes, but when i got here..."

He started sobbing again, so i just waited.

"When i got here, the house was gone."

"Gone? How does a house disappear?"

"Well, i guess technically it's still here, but most of it is ashes."

"Ashes. You mean it burned down?"

"Yeah. The firemen are still going through the rubble; they don't know where my mom is."

"Oh, shit. i'm gonna see if i can borrow a car. If not, i'll bike over. i'll be there soon."

"Okay."

He disconnected. i asked Unk if i could borrow a car, that Jamie's house burned down and they didn't know if his mom was there or not. Both he and Aunt Claire said they'd drive me over, if worse came to worst, they wouldn't want me driving back home. i guessed that to mean if Mrs. Paxler was dead, i'd be even more upset than i already was. They were right. When we pulled up to the corner closest to Jamie's house, even though the road itself was closed, we saw an ambulance just starting to pull away. It didn't have any lights or sirens on, so i figured Mrs. Paxler wasn't in it. When i got close enough and saw Jamie crying, leaning on a policewoman's shoulder, i knew i was wrong. After saying who we were, the fire captain or whatever let us through but told us to stay on the opposite side of the street.

When we walked up to the lady cop and Jamie, i said his name softly. He looked up, and immediately turned to me. i held him. He didn't have to say it, but after a minute or so, he said, "Mom's dead." And started crying again. Me too. It's impossible not to cry too when someone you love is crying on your shoulder. He came home with us when everything was cleaned up that could be. Very little of the house was still standing.

Sunday, April 21

i checked the local newspaper's website when i woke up. i didn't bother waking Jamie right away. There was an article i didn't want to read, but knew i had to.

(Spencer here. Dak had printed out the article and pasted it into his journal.)

BUFORD, GA: A woman lost her life in a house fire here in Buford either late Friday night or early Saturday morning. Jeanne Paxler, 35, was pronounced dead at the scene. Authorities believe she was sitting in her living room and fell asleep. Cause of death was not yet determined, but a Buford policeman, who asked to remain anonymous, said she was probably crushed when the roof collapsed, although she was pretty badly burned when she was found. Her son, James, 18, was not home at the time of the fire. He arrived while the cleanup was in progress. A former husband, James senior, could not be located for comments. The cause of the fire has not yet been determined. Authorities have not ruled out foul play.

i hated to think it, but passed out drunk was more likely the case than simply falling asleep. But if she fell asleep smoking, the article would have said so. Did someone burn down the house on purpose? Aunt Claire and i took Jamie to the ER after he woke up. He definitely needed something to calm himself down.

Monday, April 22

Jamie was pretty much a zombie walking into school today. He said he'd rather go to school than sit around my (Unk's) house doing nothing. When we left school, he said he was going to go sit at his house and think. i offered to go with him, but he said he needed to be alone. That was about eight hours ago. He still hasn't shown up. Aunt Claire took me past his house, or what was left of it, just before dark. That was around 8 o'clock. He wasn't there. Like i said, now at almost 11, he still hasn't shown up and i'm understandably worried. i guess i should have followed him anyway.

Next up “Jamie Is Found”