Those Left Behind - 3. Welcome to Family Life

In fact, the weekend proved to be a relaxing family one. As if to give the lie to all Ludo’s worries, Jackie was tired after work on Friday but upbeat. She arrived home early enough to have a late bite to eat and a drink with Ludo, having said a proper good night to Damian. The two of them snoozed in front of the TV; things were friendly, though a good-night cuddle was just that, it didn’t lead to anything more.

Next morning, she was bright and breezy. After a pleasantly leisurely breakfast, the day was spent doing tasks around the house. Jackie started turning out the kitchen cupboards, a task that appealed to her sense of order, and they both marvelled at some of the things that had managed to get squirreled away at the back of cupboards and drawers. Ludo was trying to tidy the garden; he wasn’t much of a gardener but tried to keep it at least looking tidy.

Damian, all the while, concentrated on his trees. The lad had always been interested in plants and his visits to The Garden seemed to have rekindled this. Damian spent the day reading about trees, examining the ones in the garden and regaling his parents with fascinating facts. Jackie even joked about it and suggested an expedition tomorrow to Anglesey Abbey where there was a trail of trees with information packs for families.

She’d laughed when Ludo said ‘Oh, joy’ but they knew they’d both trail around after Damian, dutifully seeming to be interested. For Jackie, gardens were things you sat in preferably with a glass of wine, whilst for Ludo plants were a challenge, a way of creating spaces. He was less interested in botanical facts.

They had had their usual grocery delivery on Friday, and Ludo had been planning to dash to the High Street and buy something to add to this for their dinner, but Jackie continued her upbeat mood and proceeded to cook. Happily chatting to both of them, and discussing the proposed visit to Anglesey Abbey with Damian, who was eagerly looking up facts about the estate and relaying them back to his parents. All in all, it felt like a normal Saturday.

But throughout the weekend, there were constant flashbacks to Friday’s events. Ludo had enough self-awareness to know that this had been building for a while and he’d shied away from it, pretended that nothing was happening. What shocked him was not that he’d enjoyed sex with a guy, it was the intensity of his feelings. He just hoped Jackie didn’t notice his near constant hard-on.

Almost thankfully, later on in the evening, Jackie went for a long bath. That had become almost a ritual in itself, she had her own specific bath oil, and afterwards, various potions and nostrums with which she anointed her body. In the early days of their marriage, Ludo would have gone up early too and there would have been a gentle, intimate time together. But as she went upstairs, she made a pointed comment about looking forward to an early night after her bath. Ludo had said he wouldn’t be late and would try not to disturb her. So that was that. And frankly, he was relieved. It wasn’t Jackie he wanted; it was Arthur.

As usual, Anglesey Abbey was popular and there were plenty of other families exploring the wider grounds. Few people seemed to be hitting the tree trail, thankfully, and Ludo was impressed with the way the National Trust had woven all sorts of different trees of differing ages into a trail which took you not only through the wilder, more modern parts of the garden, but around the more formal bits too. This meant that there was plenty for him and Jackie to enjoy, and they even managed a laugh at one point, imagining one bit of extreme topiary in their own garden.

The café was a relatively unlovely, modern building, designed more to be sat in looking out rather than be looked at. It was also horrendously busy. Ludo looked at Jackie and she gave a resigned shrug; there was no way they could get out of it. Luckily, they were doing barbeques at an outside stall, so the queuing was rendered less horrendous as Damian could wander off. They bought buns with burgers (Damian) and sausages (Jackie and Ludo) and sat contentedly on the grass. Then Damian dropped a stone, firmly into the quiet of their pool.

“Will you be working hard for ever, Mum?”

Jackie looked over at Ludo who simply shrugged.

“Not for ever, lovey. I have a special project at work, an important one.”

“Is it secret?”

She laughed, “I suppose it is. We can talk about it when it is finished.”

Damian nodded, “And can we go on holiday?”

She laughed again, put her arm round him and said of course, come his Summer holidays they would go away to somewhere nice. Was it only Ludo’s imagination that her laughter seemed forced?

“I want to go to the Aboretum de Tinques”

Ludo didn’t know what Damian was talking about, it sounded French, but Damian’s pronunciation was poor. Jackie stared at him and mouthed, ‘What the hell?’ and he gave an exaggerated shrug. After some quizzing it turned out to be a French forest that Damian had read about, with luxury accommodation actually in the trees. Damian even showed them pictures on his phone, and Ludo had to admit that it did look cool. But he suspected Jackie’s idea of a holiday involved the sun and a beach, and lots of old buildings. He didn’t want to take bets on who’d win. When Damian went off to explore on his own, Jackie turned to him.

She was rather sharp, “Were you aware of this French place?”

“Christ no. I’ve never heard of it.”

She sighed, “Why can’t we have an ordinary son rather than a botany freak. Do you think he got it from Adam?”

“Hardly, I think that last year Arthur bribed Adam with a trip to Disney World, and so they could take in some culture in Paris. That’s more their style.”

She smiled, bribery like that was something they’d got used to. “In that case, can you work out where the fuck this place is and whether there are any beaches nearby.”

“Mmm. And whether we can afford it. I bet hotels in trees don’t come cheap!”

Welcome to family life.

Dinner had been pizzas, ordered in. Damian was delighted and Jackie managed the whole thing with good humour, though Ludo knew that she disliked such things. If he had been feeling more devilish, he might have mentioned Arthur’s fondness for making pizza from scratch, but his instincts were to keep Arthur and Jackie completely separate.

She said good night to Damian properly, complete with one of her stories. Jackie usually had some sort of semi-invented story running on in her head that she would pick up again with Damian. Anyone listening to them might have thought them a normal family, but she went to bed almost immediately after without saying goodnight to Ludo, and he could tell that work was preying on her. By the time he and Damian got up on Monday, she was long gone.