The Freshmen - 43. Chapter 43

 

October 9, 2004

Santa Cruz, CA

Will

“That was one amazing day,” Travis said as we hiked back up to the house, carrying our boards with us. It was so awesome to see him happy, especially after the bullshit he’d had to deal with yesterday. The ocean seemed to sense how fucked up he was and it threw us some gnarly waves, as if to help Travis get his shit together. We looked out at the blue ocean and could hear the sound of the surf behind us like it was chasing it up the hill.

“It rocked,” I agreed, then turned to my father. “I think you drank half the Pacific on that last wave.” He’d caught a beautiful tube but it had pitted him at the end. It had taken him five minutes to stop trying to cough the water out of his lungs.

He frowned at me. “No pain, no gain.” I high fived him, making him grin. When my father was surfing, it took at least ten years off his age.

“What’s for dinner?” Travis asked, making me chuckle.

“Dude, I am starving,” I agreed. We had been out here all day with only a small lunch break.

“Let’s see if Jake has anything planned,” Dad said. “If not, we can figure something out.”

“Do you feel comfortable going out?” I asked Travis.

He was going to give me shit for all but calling him a paranoid pussy, but then he calmed down a bit and really thought about it. “Yeah, I’m good with that.”

“We don’t have to,” Dad said.

“Seriously, I’m fine,” Travis responded a little too emphatically.

“Okay,” I said slowly, to tell him that his tone wasn’t matching his words and I didn’t believe him.

“If I’m with the three of you, I am not worried,” Travis insisted. Still, I was concerned that when we were in public it might freak him out a bit.

“I’m kind of feeling pizza,” I said. It was an easy option, a good option, and Travis wouldn’t have to leave our house.

“That sounds really good,” Dad agreed.

We walked into the house to find Jake waiting for us looking really focused. “We decided to order pizzas for dinner,” I announced. “Can you handle that?”

He gave me a dirty look because he was clearly engrossed in Travis and his issues. It was one of those times when he wanted to sit down and have this totally serious and intense discussion. “I can handle that,” he said reluctantly.

I rolled my eyes his nasty gaze then decided to solve the problem myself. He didn’t know this area like I did, and he’d probably botch up the order anyway. “Never mind, I’ll do it.” We took a few minutes to agree on toppings, then I called and had to whine and bribe the guy to deliver the food to our house because it was a little outside their delivery range. When I was done, I smirked at Travis. “Maybe we can fuck the pizza guy.” We both laughed, while Jake and my father looked at us dourly like they were these serious people who were allowed no joy in their lives.

“I need to talk to you guys,” Jake said.

“I’m going to take a shower and get dressed before I do anything,” I told him firmly.

“Me too,” Travis agreed. We went into our bathroom, dropped our towels, and hopped into the shower. “Thanks for coming up with the pizza idea.”

“I don’t feel like going into Santa Cruz to eat, especially when we have to have this major conversation with Jake,” I grumbled.

“I don’t want to deal with that talk anyway, but the last thing I want is to do it at a restaurant,” Travis said, then looked at me lovingly. “Thanks.” I gave him a nice kiss, then we made love in the shower. We got dressed and took our clean asses out into the great room to find Dad and Jake waiting for us.

Before they could assault us with serious shit, the intercom rang and I buzzed the pizza delivery guy through. It turned out that he was this burned out looking hippy dude who was at least 40. I tipped him well and grabbed the pizzas, while the whole time Travis and I were trying not to giggle. “They have hotter pizza dudes in New York,” Travis said after the guy was gone, making us both laugh.

We sat the pizzas down and started eating, then talked about the waves we’d caught today. It was funny because Jake was chomping at the bit to dive into this shit, but the rest of us were much more relaxed. There was no need to hurry. We had all night, so why not enjoy dinner? We finished eating and Dad frowned at all the pizza that was still there. “Lots of leftovers,” he said.

“Wanna bet whether they’ll still be there in the morning?” I asked playfully, then turned to Jake. “Alright, go ahead and be a buzz kill.”

“Whatever,” he said, making me snicker at him. “I want to talk to you about what this may look.”

“About what will look like?” I asked.

“What things will be like for Travis going forward,” he said, as if he had the final say on that and he could dictate the future. “I’ve been working on some options today.”

“OK,” Travis said nervously.

“You have to move,” Jake said to Travis. “That is not an option.” My father smirked at me, because if Jake had said that to me, I would have told him to fuck off. No way would I cede total control of my life like that.

“I understand,” Travis said, caving gracefully. He was so much easier to deal with than I was, and that made me almost laugh.

“There are two choices,” Jake continued. “One is for you to move in with Jeremy.”

Before I could fly off the handle, my father intervened. “I know you have a problem with that, and I understand why,” he said to me in a sympathetic way. “Jake is telling you that’s an option, not that it’s what has to happen.”

“Okay,” I agreed.

“The other choice is that you move into the apartment building next door to the one you’re currently in,” Jake said. “They have better security, and it would be easy for us to work with them to enhance that.”

“So what’s that going to look like?” Travis asked.

“What do you mean?” Jake asked, because he probably thought Travis wanted to talk to him about apartment floor plans.

“I mean what does this extra security I’m going to have look like,” Travis clarified. “Are there going to be dudes hovering around me everywhere I go?”

“You’re going to need someone when you’re out in public who is always with you,” Jake said.

“I don’t know if I can handle that,” Travis said, and started to freak out.

“You really don’t have a choice at this point,” Jake said.

“For how long?” Travis asked. “How long am I going to have to have some dude following me around?”

“This guy has been pretty visible this past week,” Jake said. “Part of the way he can mess with your mind is after a week like this, he could vanish for a while, then reappear a month later.”

“Fuck,” Travis said. “That’s going to keep me totally on edge. I will never know when he is going to show up.” He was really despondent.

“That sucks,” I said to him sympathetically, and put my arm around his shoulders.

“It does, because that means that instead of just having extra security for a couple of weeks, it becomes part of your life,” Jake explained.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Travis demanded loudly, totally losing his cool.

“Hey,” I said to Travis, and squeezed his shoulder to help calm him down.

“That’s how this has to be,” Jake asserted.

“Look,” I said, losing my patience with this whole conversation. “What you’re talking about is a really big deal for Travis.”

“His safety is an even bigger deal,” Jake snapped back.

“I am not going to live in a fucking cage,” Travis said, but it was almost a shout.

“Won’t you be doing that when you’re famous?” Dad asked. “Isn’t it the same thing?”

I could sense how much this was bugging Travis, so I jumped back into the fray. “Quit trying to freak him out. Like I told you, this is a big deal to him, because he’s a very private person.”

“Do you want him dead or alive?” Jake asked me, which really set my fuse off. “The safest approach is for Travis to have a guard with him when he goes out and when he’s at home. At the same time, we can also hire a private investigator to try to figure out who the stalker is and deal with him.” I felt Travis completely falling apart emotionally at this, so I shook my head.

“What you’re describing is a life that will drive him crazy,” I said, raising my voice because my controls were starting to snap. “This is the equivalent of putting a dude who is claustrophobic into a broom closet.”

“What do you want me to do? Totally bullshit you?” Jake asked, all pissed off.

“Anyone want a drink?” my father asked. He was only doing that to decrease the tension in the room, which was as thick as the fog that was starting to roll in. He got up and played bartender, then we kicked back and tried to start this discussion on better terms.

“You’ve told us that this guy could go into hiding then jump out and scare Travis from time to time, so let’s work out a plan that Travis is comfortable with, instead of jamming things down his throat,” I said, then added some levity. “I’m the only one allowed to do that.” Travis chuckled.

“Let me think about this,” Jake said. Travis gave him an appreciative look. “We have to find something that you’re comfortable with, because while you hopefully won’t always have stalkers to deal with, when your career picks up, you’ll have to worry about fans.”

“I’m used to having people constantly worshiping me,” Travis joked, then got a bit more serious. “I think it’s different, because this guy is out to get me.”

“And you may have fans that will do the same thing,” Jake said.

“Maybe,” Travis said. “But I’m guessing that’s a little less intense than a dude who stabs a kitchen knife into the side of the bed where I sleep.”

My phone rang and I saw that it was Chris Mendoza. I showed Travis the caller ID then answered the call. “S’up?” I asked.

“I was out with Kris and Jeremy at Fuego tonight and saw Travis’s stalker,” he said quickly. He was clearly excited about something. “I tried to catch him. He got away, but I got his wallet.”

“You got his wallet?” I asked, stunned.

“I did,” he said proudly. “His name is Chuck Diller.”

“Hey, can I hand my phone to Jake? He’s going to want to know what’s in that wallet,” I said. There is no way I could interpret this to Jake. I’d miss major details.

“I’ve got his number, I’ll call him,” he said. “Jeremy sent you an email.”

“So?” I asked.

“Read it, douche,” Chris said.

“Why?” I demanded.

“I did you a favor by getting this dude’s wallet, so it’s time for you to repay it by reading the fucking email,” he said in his aggressive New York way.

“Fine,” I agreed.

“I’m calling him now,” Chris said, and ended the call.

Jake’s phone rang and I gestured at him, indicating that he needed to answer it. He did, then got up and walked over to the kitchen table to make notes, leaving me to explain things. “Your stalker’s name is Chuck Diller,” I told Travis.

“How do you know that?” he asked. I explained what Chris had told me, then paused as I remembered what he said.

“What was Jeremy doing at Fuego?” I asked.

“Fuego?” Dad asked, answering a question with a question.

“It’s this amazing gay bar in New York,” Travis said, and leered at me to try and make me jealous. I rolled my eyes at him.

“That’s hardly the most important thing for us to deal with at this point,” Dad admonished. It was funny that even when he was mad at Jeremy, he still got irritated at the thought of him being promiscuous.

“It actually is kind of a big deal,” I mused.

“Why?” Travis asked, totally ignoring my father.

“Because Jeremy has never been to a gay bar,” I said.

“Claire said that Jeremy made a deal with Kris that every time Kris went to therapy, Jeremy had to go to a gay bar,” Dad said reluctantly.

“It’s still pretty hilarious,” I said, laughing. I could not help visualizing Jeremy at his bitchiest, pissing off pretty much everyone there. They chuckled with me, then we all shut up. “I need to go check my computer.”

“Now?” Dad asked. He glanced over at Jake, because he and Jake wanted to strategize about this new revelation.

“Now,” I confirmed. I went into our room and fired up my laptop.

Travis came in and sat next to me. “Is it alright if I’m here?”

“It’s your room too,” I said.

“That’s not what I meant,” he said, shaking his head at me.

“Chris told me that Jeremy sent me an email and that I needed to read it,” I told Travis. “I want you to be here.”

“I’m surprised you’re even going to open it,” Travis said. “I mean, he’s not part of your life now.”

“Chris did us a huge favor, and he asked me to do this in return, so that’s why I’m going to read it whether I want to or not,” I said.

“That’s fair,” Travis said. I loaded the email and maximized it on my screen, then read it with Travis:

Will,

Look, I know I completely fucked up. I know you probably hate me. I really do feel terrible about the things I said to you. And I truly am sorry. I know you’ve pretty much disowned me, but I want you to know that you’ve always been my brother, you’ve acted like a brother when I haven’t, and as far as I’m concerned you always will be my brother. It may not seem like it sometimes, but I really do love you.

I got out of the hospital and I feel so much better than I ever have. My moods are stable, and I can almost step back and watch my emotions fly up and down, but this time the meds seem to catch them. I’ve been feeling really good, and safe, and instead of trying to deal with you and the other people I shit on, I just sat back and enjoyed the bliss. Yet another example of how I’m a self-absorbed asshole.

I’m hoping this email is a first step in helping us heal the wound between us, but that’s not the primary reason I’m writing it. I heard about Travis’s stalker and what that asshole did to his apartment. I have always liked Travis, and I don’t want anything to happen to him. I know you got upset when Aunt Claire suggested he stay with me and Kris, and I understand why, but I want you to reconsider that decision. I think that if he stayed with us, he would be safe, he would feel safe, and more importantly, he’d be around people who cared about him. I’m hoping that he’d feel at home here. We are more than willing to accommodate the additional security he’s going to need.

I don’t want to mess up your time with him, so if you’ll agree to let him stay with us, on those weekends when you come down to see him, I will vanish. I’ll either take a short trip out of town, or Kris and I can stay at a hotel and make it a fun adventure. If you’re in town, the place is yours, and we will disappear until you are gone. Please let us help Travis out.

I love you, and I’m sorry.

Jeremy.

I read it three times, and I still didn’t know what to make of it. While I was mulling it over, I forwarded it to Darius to ask him if he thought Jeremy was being honest. “What do you think?” I asked Travis.

“I think he’s legit,” Travis said. “I don’t think you can be sure until you actually talk to him, but it reads well.”

“I don’t know,” I said skeptically. “I need to make a phone call.”

“I’ll give you some space,” he said, gave me a sweet kiss, then walked out the door. As soon as he did, I called Darius.

“What?” he asked. I heard music and voices in the background.

“I need a favor,” I said. “Fifteen minutes of your time.”

“Now?” he demanded.

“Now,” I said. I gave him a brief explanation of Travis’s stalking problem and his trashed apartment and told him that we were in Santa Cruz.

“Alright, that may be enough to get me to not be pissed off at you forever for dragging me away from an awesome party,” he said, still annoyed. “What do you want me to do?”

“Jeremy sent me an email and I just forwarded it to you,” I said. “I need you to read it and tell me what you think.”

“I can do that,” he said, and ended the call. While I stared at my computer, I began to think things through. I so did not want to deal with Jeremy, and no matter what he said, it would be totally weird when I went to New York to see Travis if he lived with them. It would be so much easier for Travis to rent an apartment at the other complex, which was close to the studio. I shut down that train of thought and put myself in his position. If he was staying in that apartment, the only person he’d have with him was a guard, and that would just seem confining. If he lived with Kris and Jeremy, he’d have other people around that he could relax with, and his guard could blend into the background. As an introvert, Travis didn’t need a bunch of people to talk to, but he would enjoy a tight family-style environment. In this case, I needed to put my own issues behind and think about Travis.

I was distracted when I got an email alert on my computer and I saw that it was from Darius. His words were concise and to the point: “Not sure if he’s being honest, but it’s a start. Let Travis stay with them.”

I smiled at getting validation from Darius, then responded to Jeremy with a simple “Thanks.”

I sighed and walked back out into the main room and sat down. No sooner had I done that then Jake came in and joined us as well. “News?” Dad asked Jake.

“I want Travis to stay with Jeremy,” I announced, frustrating my father’s attempt to find out what Jake had discovered.

“You do?” Travis asked, stunned, but not as surprised as Dad and Jake.

“That’s a pretty big change of heart,” Dad said cautiously.

“Jeremy sent me an email,” I said. “I think the main purpose of it was to convince me that it was cool for Travis to stay with them, and it worked.”

“You mean if I stay there, you’ll be fine with it?” Travis asked as if seeking confirmation.

“I’m going to do my best to deal with it,” I said.

“Does that mean the two of you are on good terms?” Dad asked gently.

“It does not,” I said. “Hang on.” I went back to our room, grabbed my computer, then came back out and read the email to them.

“Sounds sincere, but it’s hard to tell,” Dad said. I smiled at him to thank him for not just jumping on the Jeremy bandwagon and thinking that things were good again.

“I agree, so I asked Darius for his opinion,” I said.

“Dude, it’s Saturday night and you probably ripped him away from a party,” Travis said.

“Yeah, he wasn’t real happy about that, but he took the time to read it and to respond,” I said.

“What did he say?” Dad asked.

“He said that he’s not sure if Jeremy is sincere, but that it was a start. He told me that he thinks Travis should stay with them,” I said. I was trying to feel good about this, but I was nervous. “I think he’s right, and I think it would be better for Travis.”

“Why?” Travis asked.

“Because you don’t have an issue with Jeremy, I do,” I said. “Think about what your nights will be like if you were living in the apartment.”

“I’d go there and hang out, practice my lines, and hope that my guard would help me,” he said nonchalantly.

“Now think about what your nights would be like if you were living with Kris and Jeremy,” I said.

“I’d go back there, get to enjoy Jacinta’s cooking, and hang out with Kris and Jeremy and chill,” he said, then smiled. “You’re doing this for me.”

“Duh,” I said.

“I think it’s more than that,” Dad said. I looked at him, demanding that he explain. “You’re also giving Jeremy a chance to make things right between the two of you.”

“That is not a requirement of this deal,” I said firmly. “There is no way any of you are going to pressure me into some sort or rapprochement with him until I’m ready.”

“That’s not what he’s saying, dumbass,” Travis said to me lovingly. “He’s saying that Jeremy knocked on your door, and you actually opened it a little bit.”

“That’s what I’m saying,” Dad confirmed.

“Maybe,” I agreed. We sat there silently, while we gazed into the fire.

Jake’s phone rang and he glanced at it. “Be right back.”

Travis leaned in and kissed me. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” I responded. We snuggled up on the couch so I was slightly sitting up while laying longways, while Travis was on top of me with his head and back against my chest. I gently ran my fingers through his hair and could feel how content he was. He exhaled and it almost sounded like a cat purring. Our romantic interlude was broken up when Jake returned.

“We have a problem,” he announced. I sighed with dread, because the last thing we needed was another challenge.

“What?” Travis asked.

“Chuck Diller is not the name of your stalker,” Jake said to Travis. “It was a fake ID.”

“I mean, the dude looked like he was over 21,” Travis said. “Why would he need a fake ID?”

“To protect his real identity,” Jake said. We stared at him, trying to figure out what he was saying. “You said he was really good at disappearing?”

“Yeah,” Travis said. “It was like he could vanish into thin air.”

“It was really freaky,” I concurred. “When I first saw him, he was right across the street from us and a van went by, blocking our view. When the van passed us, the dude was gone.”

“What does this mean?” Dad asked.

“I’m not sure,” Jake said apprehensively.

“What are you worried about?” I demanded.

“I’m worried that he’s a professional,” Jake said.