The Freshmen - 20. Chapter 20

September 10, 2004

Escorial

Palo Alto, CA

Brad

“Good evening,” I said to Stef and JP as I joined them in the courtyard. It was six o’clock and normally I would have found them in JP’s study, but when we had guests, we gathered in a more public area of the house. In this case, since it was about 75 degrees and sunny, the courtyard was perfect.

“Good evening,” JP said. I sat down and asked one of the staff members to bring me a gin and tonic.

“That was an interesting day,” I said. Stef and I could not help giggling at the memory.

“And what made it so interesting?” JP asked, frowning at our immature behavior.

“Kris and JJ stopped by Carruthers & Schluter,” Stef explained.

“Kris spent three hours with us and would have stayed there for the whole day if JJ hadn’t been about to lose his mind,” I said. The memory of JJ’s expression of sheer agony and frustration as he followed Kris around and sat in on meetings was so hilarious I started laughing.

“He did not appreciate our world of commerce,” Stef said, and laughed with me.

“I think it was quite thoughtful of JJ to do something he hated just to make Kris happy,” JP said stiffly. Clearly Kris’s issues weighed heavily on him.

“I’m glad that you think so,” I said dismissively, since he was being too uptight about this. “I hope you find your sense of humor by the time everyone else gets here.”

“It would be nice if you found it before then,” Stef said to him.

“There is nothing wrong with my sense of humor,” JP snapped, which just made Stef and me laugh some more.

“Here is your drink, Mr. Brad,” Ramon said. He had worked here for a long time and was a nice guy.

“Thanks, Ramon,” I said. “How was your trip back home?” He had gone back to Nicaragua to visit relatives.

“It was good,” he said, smiling, then turned his attention to Stefan. “Thank you so much for helping out my family.”

“How did he do that?” I asked.

“We invested money into the entrepreneurial ventures of some of Ramon’s family members,” Stef interjected before Ramon could respond.

“I am sure they will return a good profit, Mr. Stefan,” Ramon said nervously.

“Even if they do not, I am glad to help them try,” Stef said. Ramon left us, and Stef returned to talking about Kris. “I am wondering if it would not be smart of us to ultimately poach Kris away from Goldman Sachs,” Stef mused.

“I would not be opposed to that, but I don’t think we are the key decision makers,” I said.

“We are not?” Stef challenged. He did not like to have his authority questioned, at least not too much.

“Kris will want to stay in New York, and even if he doesn’t, JJ does,” I said. “There is no way I want to fight that battle.”

“I certainly do not want to try to lure Kris away from New York,” Stef said, slightly horrified.

“And as we hired Chris Mendoza to head up our New York branch, it’s important that he’s okay with us bringing Kris on board,” I said. “That is why I said that it’s not really our decision. It’s really up to Chris.” I paused then continued. “I also think that before we consider that, we first need to see how this weekend goes, and how Kris handles things,” I said. Stef gave me a dirty look. “It’s quite possible that he could implode.”

“In that case, it may be even more important for us to throw him one of those donut-shaped things they used to save drowning people,” Stef said.

“They’re called life preservers,” I said, rolling my eyes at him. JP chuckled. “At least you finally cheered JP up.” JP frowned at me.

“For a second, anyway,” Stef said, then gave JP a dirty look before turning back to me. “Well, it was not urgent, in any event,” he said, caving to my arguments. Luke and Claire arrived at that moment, changing the dynamic of our conversation, if not the topic. We stood up to greet them, then gestured for them to sit with us.

“I was really impressed with Kris,” Luke said. That made a lot of sense, since Kris was very analytical, and connected with Luke very well.

“So was I,” Stef agreed, then gave me a dirty look. “I was plotting to steal him away from Goldman but Bradley was against it.”

“I was not against it,” I objected strongly. Stef smirked at me, while JP chuckled. I explained my reasoning, without disclosing the discussion with Kris we had planned for Sunday.

“I think that’s a good approach,” Luke said. I stuck my tongue out at Stef and got a laugh from Claire. “I’m planning to block out some time to spend with Chris Mendoza when I’m in New York.”

“I will occupy myself by shopping when you do that,” Claire said.

“I’ll bet JJ wishes he’d made that decision today,” I said.

“Our capitalistic conversations did not appeal to him,” Stef explained.

“I shouldn’t wonder,” Claire said.

“You seem almost effervescent,” I said to her, raising my eyebrow as I did. I got predictable reactions from all of them: a scowl from Claire, an irritated look from JP, a giggle from Stef, while Luke blushed.

“Thank you,” Claire said curtly, which was too funny. I started laughing, as did Stef. “I am sorry they are so rude,” she said to Luke.

“I’m used to it,” he said, which was even funnier. Kris and JJ arrived, followed by Mother and Frank, which required us to stand up again. I was standing and sitting so often it was like I was at a Catholic mass. I noticed how well Kris was dressed, which was no surprise since JJ probably managed his wardrobe.

“Did we miss out on a joke?” Mother asked.

“Bradley was just commenting on how lovely Claire’s complexion is,” Stef said, which made us laugh all over again.

“He is correct,” Mother said. “And how was your day?” she asked JJ.

“Fine,” he said crisply.

“I had an amazing day,” Kris said, then turned to Stef, Luke, and me. “You guys have an awesome operation. I was really impressed with the way you help your companies prepare to go public.” That had special meaning coming from him, since as an investment banker, he’d be the person to actually take them public.

“I don’t think that we need to talk about business again,” JJ said. Kris gave him an odd look. “Didn’t we spend enough time on that this afternoon.”

I expected Kris to give JJ a piece of his mind, but instead he smiled. “You’re right. Thanks for putting up with that for me.”

“You’re welcome,” JJ said, and smiled back at him. The rest of us exchanged subtle but surprised glances, impressed with how well Kris managed JJ’s moods.

“Shall we go in for dinner?” JP asked formally, even as we all heard the grandfather clock begin booming. We dutifully shuffled into the dining room and found place cards to indicate where we should sit. Darius, John, Marie, and Ryan were already here, while Jake walked in shortly after we did.

“I wondered where you were,” I said to Jake pleasantly.

“I had a few things I was finishing up, but I still made it on time,” he said.

“Others are not as punctual as you are,” I grumbled, and looked at the empty spaces at the table: those for Will and Travis. Will was supposed to be sitting next to me, while Travis would be on his other side, next to JP. At precisely 7:02, they came into the room, looking flushed and out of breath. I was really annoyed now, since it looked like they’d been having sex and were delayed as a result. It was unreasonable to get mad at JJ for doing that while letting Will off the hook.

“You’re late,” I said, admonishing them.

“We are,” Will said to me with the same tone he’d say ‘fuck you’. He modified his tone when he spoke to JP to one that was much more polite. It was mildly irritating that JP was able to garner that kind of respect from him. “Travis had an important phone call to finish up. I’m sorry we were all of two minutes late.” I frowned since he’d made me look like an ass at one of these dinners yet again.

“We will forgive you provided you explain what this important call was all about,” Stef intervened.

“I got the part,” Travis said, and he was so excited he was ebullient.

“What part?” Marie asked.

“I auditioned for a new television show called Palisades,” Travis explained. “It’s about kids at a school that’s probably going to be a lot like Malibu High.”

“Travis snagged one of the starring roles,” Will said proudly.

“Starring roles?” I asked. That was stunning. I wondered who’d pulled strings to make that happen. To my knowledge, all Travis had done was audition for a few commercials.

“That’s really cool,” JJ said to Travis. “Congrats.” Sometimes his comments weren’t sincere, but for some reason, JJ seemed to genuinely like Travis.

“Thanks, JJ,” Travis said, and hit him with his perfect smile. “I may get to see you more often.”

JJ blinked briefly in surprise, so I jumped in to bail him out. “Why?” I asked. Only Travis ignored me and spoke to JJ, so I looked like an ass for the second time this evening.

“I mean, only if you want,” Travis said to JJ nervously, as if he was worried that JJ wouldn’t want him around.

“I would love that,” he said smoothly. “Are they filming this show in New York?”

“No, Palisades is going to be filmed in Manhattan Beach,” Travis said happily.

“Dude, that’s near the studio we’re supposed to use,” John said.

“We should get a place together there, all of us,” Ryan said.

“That would be amazing,” John said. “Can you imagine the incredible parties we can have?” I saw John wink at Will and Travis to show that he was messing with his mother.

“My agreement that you could join this band was not my approval for you to live in a party palace,” Claire said dourly. All of our younger crowd just laughed at her, and I was glad that at least this time I wasn’t the one who looked like an idiot.

“I’m going house shopping next week,” Travis said. “If you’re nice, maybe I’ll rent you a room.” It was good to see that Ryan and John were so happy to potentially have Travis around, but I could sense the conflict within Will. This would make things even tougher on him, since he’d be away at Harvard while Travis was living in a party house with his friends.

“Asshole,” John said, and tossed a carrot at Travis.

“Do not throw food,” Claire admonished, making us all laugh.

“Manhattan Beach, home to great waves and beach volleyball,” Ryan said, smiling and nodding.

“If you can manage to hit the ball over the net, maybe they’ll let you play,” Will said.

“I can get the ball up just fine,” Ryan said, totally implying a double entendre.

“You certainly can,” Marie said suggestively, getting rowdy chants from John, Will, and Travis.

“So why will I get to see you more?” JJ asked Travis. He seemed uncomfortable around adolescent male humor, so it seemed appropriate that he’d change the subject.

“Palisades won’t start filming until January, so in the meantime, I got a role on Sunset Valley,” Travis said.

“Sunset Valley?” John asked.

“It’s a soap opera and it films in New York,” Travis explained.

“Dude, a soap opera?” Ryan asked with disdain.

“Yeah, asshole, I’ll shoot you the same attitude when your first gig is at a dive bar,” Travis shot back, making a very good point.

“Whatever,” Ryan grumbled.

“Travis,” JJ said, to make sure he got his attention. “You’re going to stay with us when you’re in the city.” Will and I shared a glance of surprise since JJ was so definitive about it.

“I don’t want to impose,” Travis said nervously. He also probably didn’t want to get involved in JJ’s drama, but we were all too polite to point that out.

“That’s bullshit,” Kris said, then got uncomfortable for using profanity at the table. I almost laughed at his misplaced sense of decorum. “It will be good to hang out with you.”

We continued eating until Stef opened up another topic. “That is an interesting ring you are wearing,” he said to Will. “And I notice that Travis has one just like it.”

It was no surprise that while no one else had evidently noticed their rings, Stef had, only now that he’d pointed that out, we all stared at them. “Why is your ring changing colors? It looks like it’s turning gray?” I asked Will.

“They’re mood rings,” Will explained. Travis took his off and passed it around. “Travis got them for us.”

“That was a very unique and clever idea,” Claire said, as she admired it.

“Do these rings have any special meaning, or are they just lovely pieces of jewelry?” Mother asked.

“We got engaged,” Will said.

“Dude, that is awesome!” Jake said excitedly.

“You’re getting married?” JP asked, and seemed both stunned and happy, which were strange emotions to mix in one expression.

“When is this going to happen?” Stef asked, as if he was in a hurry to start planning the wedding.

“In four years,” Travis said, then blushed. Then I got what this was, and what this meant. This was their pledge to stay together despite Travis’s career and Will’s undergraduate studies. It was a symbol of their resolve, nothing more and nothing less. Knowing that, my whole mood eased.

“I would like to congratulate my son on making an excellent choice in selecting a partner,” I said as I raised my glass.

“Here here!” John chanted, followed by everyone else. We all drank to Travis and Will, even as I wondered, if I were to fast forward to 2008, if they’d actually still be together.

September 11, 2004

Alcatraz

San Francisco, CA

Will

“It would suck to be locked up in a place like that,” Kris said as we got on the boat to head back to the City.

“No shit,” I agreed. “It would be so claustrophobic.”

“That would be the least of your problems,” JJ said with disdain. I had to give him credit for trying to put himself out there and enjoy this day, even though it was obvious to all of us he was pretty miserable.

“Isn’t this near the spot where you dove into the Bay? You know, that time when you and Robbie went to visit Alcatraz?” I asked my father, remembering that story. I suddenly realized that I’d mentioned Robbie on 9-11 and got a sad reaction from all of them, but especially from JJ.

“It is,” Dad agreed, and gazed out at the water in a meaningful way.

“Why did you do that?” Kris asked him. “Gotta be cold, and aren’t there sharks?”

I rolled my eyes at him. “It’s cold, but the sharks aren’t dangerous.”

“Sharks are sharks,” Kris said.

“No, they’re not,” I said, giving him some attitude. “The sharks in the Bay aren’t carnivorous.”

“Will’s right,” Dad said, which annoyed me, making it sound like I couldn’t win an argument without his help. “It was in 1980, and I kissed Robbie on the boat. Some gay-bashing asshole grabbed a fire extinguisher and hit Robbie with it, knocking him over the side.”

“Dude,” Kris said in amazement. “So you jumped in to save him?”

Dad shrugged. “Water is like my world.”

“What ever happened to the dude that did that?” I asked. I’d heard this story lots of times before, but never heard how it had ended.

Dad chuckled. “Robbie sued him and got some money, but then we stepped in and ruined his life.”

“How did you do that?” I asked.

He shrugged. “He was an insurance broker from Muskogee, Oklahoma. Seems that, with some help, the insurance regulators investigated him and found out that he was doing some pretty borderline things. Cost him his license.”

“Serves him right,” I said. Dad nodded in agreement.

“Last I heard he was a bartender at some dive pub in a different part of Oklahoma,” Dad said.

“Thanks for telling me,” I said. “I wondered how that turned out.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, and after that we all just enjoyed the boat ride back, taking in the amazing views of the City. I couldn’t help thinking about that guy from the ferry, though. Dad had answered my question candidly, but like most things he did, he had a motive. He was telling Kris that bad things happened to people who fucked around with him and the people he loved. I was pretty sure we’d all got the message.

We got back to the dock and found the limo waiting. “The Foundation is next on our scheduled stops,” I said.

“I think we’ll pass on that,” Kris said, then smiled at JJ. “We have a few hours before dinner. What do you want to do?”

“Me?” JJ asked. He was probably confused because no one had considered what he might enjoy doing, because this trip wasn’t really about him at all.

“Yeah, you,” Kris said, then put his arm around him and gave him a sideways hug. “You’ve done all kinds of things you probably hated just to try and show me a good time. It worked, but now it’s your turn.”

JJ beamed at him lovingly. “Can we just go back to the condo and relax for a bit?”

“We can,” Kris agreed.

“I’m thinking I’ll go with them,” Travis said apologetically. I wanted him to see the Foundation, but this had been a long day for him. His introversion was probably gnawing away at him.

“I’m out too,” Darius said.

I looked at my father, who just shrugged. “I’ll call Jake.” Just as we were about to get in the limo, I had a mini brainstorm.

“Why don’t you and I walk back?” I asked my father. It was cool to see him smile broadly at that.

“Sounds good,” he said. The others piled into the limo while Dad and I started strolling toward the condo. It wasn’t all that far, but it was a nice day, and a good excuse to spend some time with him. “I love this city.”

“So do I,” I said, smiling at the Transamerica Pyramid. “I was thinking about how fucked up it would be to be in jail.”

“Yeah, not my first choice,” he said, just to let me know he’d been listening.

“I can kind of see why that totally fucked Robbie up,” I said, probably going to a place I shouldn’t, but letting my own demons drive us there.

“It really did,” Dad agreed calmly. “It wasn’t the worst though. The worst was when he was raped in the showers. That’s how I made my peace with him.”

“Make sense that would mess him up more,” I agreed, since my Dad knew Robbie better than anyone. “How did you make peace with him? I’m not following.” That leap made no sense to me.

“Tearing down the high school, that locker room, that was my way of saying goodbye to him and at the same time pledging that I would always love him,” he said. His mood got a little more somber.

“How did it do that?” I still didn’t get it.

He didn’t speak for a while as he collected his thoughts. “Remember those stories about the lion who gets a thorn in his paw and a mouse or some other insignificant creature pulls it out for him?” he asked.

“Insignificant creature?” I asked, laughing. “I remember.”

“And after that, they are the best of friends, because the pain is removed,” he said. “Destroying that locker room was my equivalent of removing the thorn from Robbie.”

I stopped and stared at him, amazed at how deeply his feelings ran. “Dude, that is some serious philosophical shit.” He chuckled. “If you feel like it, you should share that with the family.”

“Why?” he asked, and got all defensive.

“Because when you did that, refused to let them repurpose the old school building, everyone thought you were nuts,” I said. “I could see their point, but now that you explain it like that, it makes so much sense.”

“It does?” he asked, and seemed shocked that I’d think that.

“Absolutely,” I said supportively. “I mean, if you want to keep this between us, I’m cool with that.”

“No, I just thought if I told them, they’d think I was fucking crazy,” he said grumpily, since we didn’t always appreciate his thought processes.

“Well that won’t happen this time,” I said, then put my arm around him. “You’ve got Jake and me in your corner. You’ll win.” He laughed at that, then stopped.

“Do you think it bothers Jake when I talk about Robbie, like would it bug him if I shared this with him?” he asked. I paused to think about it for a bit.

“No,” I said confidently. “When you just explained that to me, there was no longing in your voice, making it sound like you missed Robbie so much your life wasn’t good. That would piss him off. In this case, you’re explaining how you’ve moved on, and the fact that you’re sharing that with him will make him happy.”

“Oh,” he said, thinking about what I said. “I guess I don’t talk about Robbie with him because I’m worried that I’ll slip up and sound all wistful.”

“Do you feel wistful for Robbie?” I asked.

He thought about that for a bit. “No,” he answered firmly. I was so glad to hear him say that. When he answered a question like that, he meant it.

“Then don’t worry about it,” I said. “Just be real with Jake. The real you has no issue with Robbie.”

He smiled and we walked on in silence for a bit. “I’m really going to miss you when you’re gone.” He got a little choked up at the end, which made me start to tear up. Leaving was going to be hell.

“I’m going to miss you too,” I said.

“I was sitting there at dinner last night wondering if you’d be filling out applications for UCLA so you could live with Travis, Ryan, John, and their band,” he joked.

“No,” I said, shaking my head for emphasis. “This is going to hurt, but I have to do this.”

“Why?” he asked.

“For me, and for Travis,” I said. He looked at me, demanding that I explain. “Every dude in college I’ve known, and I’ve known a lot of college dudes...” I teased.

“I’m sure you have,” he grumbled, making me laugh.

I got serious again. “Every one of them really came out of college different. The changes were pretty intense. And I think I need to go through that kind of alone.”

“Kind of alone?” he asked.

I nodded. “I guess it’s unavoidable that today my mind will go back to 9-11.” We held hands for a bit, grappling with that memory. “I forget who I was talking to, but he was a friend who had lost a parent, and I told him that even though I’d lost more family members, his deal was harder than mine.”

“Why?” he asked.

“Because I loved Mom, Hank, and Robbie, but they weren’t the foundation stones in my life. Right now, those people are Grand, Stef, you, Darius, and Travis. And probably Jake, if I decide to promote him to that level,” I joked.

“I’m proud to be one of them, and I can see your point,” he said.

“So when I said kind of alone, I meant that I should do this without being around the six of you,” I said.

“You don’t want to see us?” he asked, all pissed off now.

“I want to see you,” I said in frustration at his idiocy. “But you have a lot of influence on me, and I want to be my own person.” He said nothing, because he still didn’t understand. “If I was here, and you were all around, I don’t know if I’d have the opportunity to make the transition to me.”

We walked along for a bit. “Thanks for helping me understand this. Now when we fly out on Monday, I won’t be a sobbing sack of shit.” I laughed at that.

“You do not have to fly out on Monday,” I said. He gave me an odd look. “I’m serious. This is not something you have to do to check a box on the good parent card.”

He smiled ruefully. “I probably don’t have many marks on there, so I should do it.”

We walked up to the condo, so I made him stop and hug me, a very meaningful physical gesture. “You’re doing just fine.”

“Thanks,” he said. There was a bench out front, so we opted to just hang out there and continue our conversation. “How is this better for Travis?”

“He’s about to start acting in this new show, and even if it bombs, he’s tied up until the summer,” I explained. “He needs his space to do this too. The last thing he needs is a boyfriend he has to worry about explaining.”

“I think that he relies on you almost completely,” he said.

“Do you think that’s a problem?” I asked, being paranoid.

He paused to collect his words, which made me think he was trying hard not to piss me off. “I think that with you, it’s not a problem,” he said. “I think if he was this committed to someone who wasn’t as ethical and devoted as you, he could have a problem.”

“I’ll have to think about that,” I said, but inside I was seething with jealousy: jealousy that someone else could have that kind of hold on him.

Marc Carmine came strolling up so we stood up to greet him. “Hey there,” he said pleasantly, and gave both of us man-hugs.

“How are you doing?” I asked him.

“I am busy,” he said.

“The art world is good?” Dad asked.

“It’s good,” he said, smiling. “Remember those paintings I have to make for you?” he asked me. That was part of the deal where I’d bought his condo and sold it to him for a certain number of artworks.

“Yeah, although you’re behind schedule,” I said, giving him shit. The stuff he’d done so far had been unbelievably good.

“The latest one is almost done,” he said, in a fake snitty way. “The way things are going, you may end up with a really good deal.”

“I knew that your work would just get more and more valuable,” Dad said, smiling.

“Thanks,” Marc said. “Even though it bothers me when you’re right.” We all laughed at that.

“Don’t be too late or I’ll evict your ass,” I teased. We walked into the condo and took the elevator up, dropping him off at his floor. When we got to the foyer, we saw that the other condo, the one I’d bought for us, was all boarded up. “What’s the deal?”

“They finally got the plans and approvals done,” Dad said in exasperation, because it had been a royal pain in the ass. “They started on that side so we can still use this side for a bit.”

“Cool,” I said. I’d seen the plans and it was going to be spectacular. We went into the condo and I was walking to the guest room when Kris came out of the master bedroom in a robe. “You work fast.”

“Not all the time,” he said with a leer, cracking me up. I was really enjoying his company. It was like now that there was no sexual tension between us, we could truly be friends.

“I’m going to bother JJ,” I said. He raised his eyes at how brave that was.

I knocked on the door, then knocked again before I heard JJ respond. “What?” he demanded, all pissed off. I chose to view that as his invitation to walk in. “What do you want?” he almost screamed at me.

I inhaled through my nose, then crinkled it up. “It smells like semen cologne in here. Is that a new fragrance?”

“Just get the fuck out,” he said.

“Look, I told you that a bunch of shit was flying at Kris tomorrow. I’ll tell you the details in advance but you have to promise not to say anything about it, or let him know that you know,” I said.

“If it’s about him, I’m telling him,” he said adamantly. “So tell me.”

“No,” I said simply.

“What the fuck?” he asked. “You know something about him and you’re not telling me?”

“Not without your pledge to keep your mouth shut until the meeting,” I said. He said nothing, just glared at me. I shrugged and started to leave. “Just remember not to be a self-absorbed asshole tomorrow. Try to help him out.”

“Leave,” he commanded, so I did.